The whole world works but I...
Commit scams.
That's why I have a new name registered in every police station
and a new scam too
In India everyone wants to earn money without working.
That's why I distributed a virus infected
laptop to everyone in Mumbai for free.
I showed everyone dreams of earning a few
lakhs and scammed them of billions.
While they were investing in the free laptops
I was getting the returns.
On the night of Diwali the whole Mumbai had gone bankrupt.
There were wanted posters on the walls too
This was the time to move towards a new city with a new name.
Man!
Can you ever welcome me without these intoxicating clouds?
You take a shower sometimes
It is what it is, my man
Do you know that smoking this can damage the brain cells?
You can die of overdose too.
We can also die of police bullets.
Oh my!
You are there, right?
My partner in crime.
As long as you're with me, I'm safe.
You don't need to flatter me.
If you love me so much then increase my salary.
Shall I increase the work? - Go ahead.
'Indian gold council’s annual Gold auction to be organized...'
Hmm! What?
New work. - New con!
New city.
Let's go then.
Greetings and good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
All of you are welcome to the
annual gold auction of the Indian Gold Council Lucknow.
This year the devotees have collected almost 250 kilograms
of gold from all over the country.
Here is the exact picture of the gold.
The estimate of this gold
is said to be around 250 kilograms.
What are we waiting for? Let's take a deep breath, settle in
and let's start the bidding at 500 million.
510 million.
600 million.
720 million.
800 million.
800 million!
850 million.
900 million.
900 million! Wow!
Oh my God! I can see the heat going really high here.
900 million.
1 billion. - Now we are talking!
1 billion!
1 billion, one.
1 billion, two.
1.10 billion.
1.10 billion!
We have this bid going at 1.10 billion.
1.10 billion, one.
1.10 billion, two.
1.10 billion, three.
We have a deal here.
Placard number 71. Congratulations, sir!
Alright, fine.
Good evening, sir! How are you, sir?
Sir, I am Balakrishnan. Bala for short.
I am from the Gold Reserve Council, sir.
Yes, tell me.
Sir, you must've received an OTP on your
registered mobile number to confirm the auction
We need that OTP for the auction.
OTP!
When did you start this cab business?
There was no such system until last year. - It's a new rule, sir.
It's for security purpose, sir.
Okay, I will tell you the OTP.
Hello! You must've received an OTP on Maharaj Ji's mobile number.
Check and tell me
Are you from Delhi, sir?
UP!
You seem to be from the construction sector.
Destruction sector. Come! Let me give you a demo
Come out, I will show you. - No. No, thank you for offering, sir.
Sir, your phone is ringing.
Hello!
I already told this man that there's no OTP process.
Alright. Listen, mister.
Where is he?
Ran away!
Maharaj.
UP.
Gangster. I could only gather this much.
Hmm! That's enough.
Hmm! found him. - Who is it?
UP's Maharaj Ji
aka Ram Tripathi.
Where do I have to go?
Land of Salvation, Banaras.
There you go, brother! Tripathi Market is here.
Thank you, mister!
One cup of tea, brother. - Right away, sir.
Would you like a smoke?
If I get one for free, for sure.
Thank you, sir! Won't you smoke?
I will smoke after tea
Then have tea
Here you go. - Thank you!
Where can I meet this Maharaj?
Where can I meet Maharaj Ji!
Take his name with respect. He is our God.
Is it?
Then where can I meet your God?
One can meet God after death
Die! And you can meet him
You crack good jokes.
Yes, mister. This is Banaras
Like Delhi is the city of politics and Mumbai is the city of dreams
similarly this is the city of possibilities
Because everything is possible here, sir.
Right? - How is that?
Sir, the thing is that here a tea seller can
give you the ultimate knowledge of life
And you can meet a teacher selling guns during his part time.
You offered me a cigarette
And then you asked me about God
The possibility is that you are here to kill him, right?
Listen! I am unemployed. I am looking for a job.
Someone told me that Maharaj Ji needs men for work. So I asked.
And you decided to come here just like that?
Alright, tell me something. Do you speak English?
I do!
Then give me an introduction in English
Here? To you?
Yes, why not? Don't you want work?
I want. - Then get started.
My name is Bulbul Tyagi. I am 27-years-old.
I did my Bachelor in Commerce from Madanlal University, Patna.
I was working with Excel Securities since six months
For six months
Huh? - Sir, you should add 'for' before 'six months'.
You will add 'since' only if you are still working for them.
But it's fine. Your work will be done with this.
I like you that's why I will help you
Take this
Maharaj Ji's men gave me this. It might be useful for you.
I saw the pamphlet and called you
In regards to the call centre job
Do you speak English?
I do!
Give me your introduction
Okay
My name is Bulbul Tyagi. I am 27-years-old.
I've done my Bachelor of Commerce from Madanlal University, Patna.
I was working with Excel Securities
for six months
Alright
You will receive an address on this number. Come at 12 PM tomorrow.
Okay. Fine. Thank you!
So, sir! What did they say?
They've called me tomorrow.
Yes, you have to come here only tomorrow. Tripathi Jewelers.
Have a look. Our Maharaj lives here only upstairs.
Here? - Yes.
This is nothing, sir. The real world is behind this.
Our Maharaj's kingdom.
But let me tell you something. Be very cautious of them.
Because I have seen people walking in there
and coming out as an octopus.
Octopus? - Yes.
How?
Sir, people enter this place with two legs
But they come out on bier supported by four people
on total eight legs.
Isn't it like an octopus?
You crack very good jokes, mister.
Is there a photo studio nearby?
It's right ahead at the intersection.
How much for the tea? - 10 bucks, sir.
Thank you!
Lord!
What is your name?
Bulbul.
Bulbul Tyagi
Is it even real?
Who is this?
I don't know her name.
She comes every Tuesday and throws pennies
and sits here for some time.
And these kids?
Why are they so crazy for the pennies?
It's not pennies, it's gold.
Gold?
Why is she throwing gold? - It's all due to the blessings of Mahadev.
Someone is here to throw gold
while someone is here to catch it.
Now will you say something or will you just keep standing?
Pardon me?
I said, will you say something?
What do I say? - Tell me your name at least
Bulbul. Bulbul Tyagi.
Why are you laughing?
Bulbul! - Your name?
Isabelle.
Do you have a cigarette, Tyagi Ji?
Won't you smoke?
I don't smoke.
Then why are you carrying the pack?
Just like that.
You're a fraud!
Not at all.
Then you are trouble.
I like trouble a lot anyways.
My mom also had the same complaint with me.
Had?
Mom is not alive?
No. She became a star
And, father?
He was ‘Made in Germany'.
He's gone too?
No! He had come to India to learn yoga when he was young.
But he ran away after
doing all the yoga poses with my mom.
No wonder you don't look like a local.
No, I am from here only.
The amount of times I have plunged into Ganga,
I'll be forgiven for committing murder also.
I don't know about murder
But you look like you must've murdered a lot of hearts
And you seem like the kinds who sway women
with their mischievous, uncanny charm
Where are you from by the way? - Me?
I am from Banaras too.
Who are you fooling, Tyagi Ji?
You've come here for the first time
I would have surely noticed you if you had come here before.
Are you saying that I'm lying?
Why are you getting angry?
You're calling me a liar! Won't I be angry?
A lie said in the right proportion is truth
You went overboard and got caught.
Can I tell you something, Isabelle ji?
People who are loaded
have attitude and a sharp tongue
It's not just the tongue that is sharp...
Can I ask something, Isabelle Ji?
Don't bother.
Why?
Tyagi Ji,
this bed becomes a very dangerous place after sex.
That's why one should leave it as fast as possible.
One doesn't realise when the conversations here lead to love.
It was nice meeting you!
Take care of yourself!
Banaras! The city of possibilities.
Ma'am, I am here for the interview.
Who are you? - Bulbul. Bulbul Tyagi.
Oh! You are Bulbul?
Make an entry in the register and give your identity card.
Do it properly! People often put down the wrong information here.
Can I get a pen?
It's right there
It will take an hour. So sit comfortably.
One hour?
Maharaj Ji is very thorough with his interviews.
Anyway, there's one more candidate before you
So sit comfortably.
Hello! Don't you want your identity card?
Thank you!
Bulbul Tyagi. - Ved Prakash.
'Send him home.'
Ved, your father has suffered a heart attack.
Father!
Hello! What happened?
You won't get an entry again if you take an exit now.
Hello!
Now it won't take an hour, right?
Yes
Yes, sir. Yes
Bulbul Tyagi
Go on. Meet Maharj Ji.
You don't smile very often, do you?
Hi!
I am Isabelle Tripathi
and this is my husband Mr Ram Tripathi.
Why are you so petrified, son?
Is everything alright?
'When mangoes grow on trees, they grow in all directions.'
'Same is the case when a man gets screwed.'
'When he starts to get screwed,
it happens from every possible direction.'