Today is Wilkins Chawla Founder's Day
which is our late Mr. Chawla's birth anniversary.
So today, there's a party here.
Drinks..
along with tombola, musical chairs.
And all this will be for charity.
My idea.
I mean, we'll be playing tombola here
and somewhere in Odisha, a child will be having a meal.
Win‐win‐win.
And win.
Hey..
Mr. Chawla also wins, right?
But why?
What will I do there?
It's a game for women.
I'm not coming to play tombola.
Come, Parmeet. It will be fun.
You know I'm an expert at tombola.
No one can be an expert at tombola.
It's a game of luck.
Yes, but I can get the number I want.
What?
How is that?
What can I say? ‐ Tell me the truth.
I don't know if it's a gift of God.
But once, in my childhood, I had hit my head on the stairs of a Shiva temple.
Since then, I can control things with my mind.
That's impossible.
Is it possible?
Okay.
If you really have a superpower, then..
That.. Drop that calendar.
Oh, God!
Do you go to the Shiva temple in Sector 49?
Why don't you come, Riya?
After all, it's your company, too.
[Riya] Chaddha, even the head office is not celebrating Founder's Day.
'You know, budget issues.'
'You please cancel your party.'
That's not possible, Riya.
We are throwing this party for charity.
Like, we are raising money on Chawla ji's birthday.
'Why don't you raise some for the company too, Chaddha?'
'Your branch's performance has been very bad this time.'
Riya, we might not be the number one branch
but you are the number one boss of this branch.
'I thought that's you.' ‐ Yeah, of course I am.
I mean, together we are the number one pair, right?
Like if I'm Manmohan, then you're Sonia.
'Come on, Chaddha.'
Come on, Riya.
Please come.
Just for a while.
I can sense from your voice that you want to come.
It'll be fun.
Just like before.
'Bye, Chaddha.'
Nowadays, Riya and I are on a break.
Just good friends. That's all.
I mean..
From her side, that's all.
From my side
that's not all.
Guys, this party is for charity.
So, give me some good options for charity.
Like the type with poor, naked, hungry kids. Yes.
Sir, there's an orphanage where little Deepak..
Stop it! Little Deepak..
Is he still little?
Hasn't he grown up by eating my donation money?
There's an old‐age home where old people stay.. ‐ No, Anjali.
We can't trust these old people.
They'll spend everything on online poker.
All day. ‐ Sir, this is not funny.
Even their children don't call them. ‐ Yes.
Do you know why?
Because they can't hear them on the phone!
Sir, in Vikas Puri, there is a charity for rabbits.
They have spa services for those rabbits.
They get the rabbits married because, as you know
even rabbits need TLC. Right, my rabbit?
I've been to this rabbit NGO in Vikas Puri several times
because I feel that bunnies and I
have a lot in common.
Like, they like making a lot of babies
I also want lot of kiddos.
Sometimes, even Sapan looks like a bunny rabbit.
And looking at him, I get those feelings.
I want some serious ideas, guys. Like polio, malaria type.
I want AIDS, man! AIDS!
We'll donate money by playing tombola!
By gambling?
Is this the culture of this office?
Why don't they just shut down this office
and open a brothel instead?
Sir, why don't you do something for violence against women?
It's a very serious problem.
Yes.
Let's do violence against women.
It'll be fun.
Yeah? In our society
nobody thinks about our daughters and wives.
Yes?
Like, nobody even looks at them.
I will look at them.
Yes. I'll watch all the helpless women.
Yes! ‐ Sir..
We couldn't expect any more from you.
No, Amit.
No.
Never crack a joke on women's issues.
Nobody laughs.
I have tried.
In our country, we cannot crack jokes on so many issues.
Religion, Sachin Tendulkar
domestic violence.
Or Modi ji.
It's not easy to joke about Sikhs and gay people also, nowadays.
You know?
I have a dream.
A day will come
where, in my stand‐in act
I'll joke about all these topics
and nobody will hurl their shoes at me.
Hey!
What happened?
Nothing.
Tell me.
Parmeet's mom has sent the phone numbers of the singers and the bands
for the wedding.
So..
So what? Let me help you. Let me hear it.
Wow.
If this guy sings at my wedding
I'd turn around and run away from the altar.
These days, I'm always in a good mood.
I'm going to get married.
And it's going well with the office people.
Why did I ask Riya ma'am for a transfer?
Because..
There's no future for me here.
Hey, don't you want a DJ or something?
I mean, who even listens to this?
Yes? ‐ Yes, I want one.
Then, let's look for a DJ. Forget this band.
Hey, come on.
Rajje. Rajje.
Rajinder.
Sir, my name is Rajinder. ‐ Yeah, then do me a favour.
Why does it bother you if we have the party in the warehouse?
We'll have to empty the entire warehouse, sir. My work will have to stop.
On top of that, you want my boys as waiters.
Your boys are, in fact, my boys.
I'm your boss, man.
Actually, they are company's boys, and this is a job for the company.
Is it time to suck up to your boss?
Excuse me?
I'm not here to suck up to anyone.
Sir called me..
for his protection..
from you. ‐ I didn't say anything like that.
Sir, you said something like.. ‐ Forget it.
Agree to it, man.
Rajje. Hey, listen.
Give me a kiss?
Give you a kiss? ‐ Yes.
When Chaddha was new to Faridabad
I'd taught him some local slangs..
which nobody uses here.
Like..
'Give me a kiss.'
'It needs to be soft for it to get hard.'
'Let my stick poke your sister.'
'Consider me wifey and fu..'
DJ Sonu Monu.
Man, he must be very good at this.
No. Not him. ‐ No?
One minute..
DJ Chubby. Let's see.
Nice, man.
Pammi, this is..
This is Kutty!
Kutty is a DJ? ‐ Chubby Kutty!
Actually, I was one of the top five DJs in Kochi.
If I get Pammi's wedding
all of North India's market will open up for me.
Dude, nice, man. Nice.
I'm telling you book him soon. His dates might not be available.
Stay here. I'll book him right now. ‐ No.. Amit.
I'm telling you seriously. He'll rock your reception.
Kutty Chu..
Yes.
I hope that Amit comes for my wedding.
He is my best friend.
He'll always be there for me.
Yes.
If I leave this place, I'll miss everyone here.
But
there is no point in looking back now.
Sir, it's Geeta's call.
Who Geeta? ‐ The broker who found you your house.
Oh, yeah. Please transfer it, Pammi.
Okay, sir. ‐ Hello, Geeta.
Geeta‐Babita Phogat.
Go, Geeta!
I haven't transferred it yet, sir.
These days I transfer calls only after Chaddha sir has made his jokes.
Once a bad joke leaves his system, he becomes a bit normal.
Here's Geeta for you, sir.
Hello, Geeta?
How are you, dear?
[Geeta] Hello, Jagdeep.
'I needed your signature for the final registration of your house.'
Yes, no problem. Come on over, dear. ‐ 'Okay.'
'Anyway, how is the house? All good?'
There was a bad smell coming out of one of the rooms.
But then I realised it was coming from my mom.
'Okay.'
'Where shall I leave the papers?'
Actually, Geeta
we have a Founder's Day party this evening at our office.
Why don't you come here?
'Today?'
One minute. Hold the call.
Yes, Pammi? ‐ Sir, Riya ma'am is on the line.
Okay, transfer it.
Hello, Riya.
Long time, no see ya.
I haven't transferred it yet, sir. I'll do it now.
Hello? Riya?
All okay?
[Riya] Chaddha you were right.
'I need to relax.'
'I'm coming to your party tonight.'
Very good, Riya. Please come. I knew it.
'Well, have you decided which charity you're donating to?'
The same old. Violence against women.
'Oh, okay.'
'Okay, see you then.'
See you. Bye.
Hello, Geeta? ‐ [Geeta] Hello.
Hello. ‐ 'Yes, so..'
'my answer is yes.'
What do you mean yes? ‐ 'I mean..'
'you were inviting me to the party, right? Okay, I'll come.'
Yes. Okay, good..
'And I'll get the papers, too.'
Good idea.
'Okay, see you in the evening.'
Okay, bye. ‐ 'Bye.'
Hanging out with two girls at once.
Chaddha, you're the man.
Brothers and your sisters..
Welcome to Wilkins Chawla Founder's Day
cum‐tombola night‐cum..
free liquor.
But first of all, let's take a moment
to see Chawla ji's photos.
Chawla ji, our founder.
He was a great man.
He used to work hard and party hard, too. ‐ Wow.
Those were the parties to remember.
We used to drink a lot.
So..
we miss you, Chawla ji.
We miss you, Chawla ji!
Long live Chawla ji!.
Come on..
Drink as much as you want.
One minute. Geeta!
Hi. ‐ Hi.
Hello. ‐ Hello.
I mean..
We, in the paper industry, welcome everyone like this.
Greetings. ‐ Hello, T. P.! Hello! ‐ Sir?
Sir, sir. ‐ See?
Rukmani is here, but Radha is nowhere to be seen.
Thank you, T.P. Thank you.
Greetings. Housewife versus mistress.
It's a trend in the industry. ‐ The situation is intense now.
So, it's necessary to speak in code words.
Got it?
So, Chaddha sir is Krishna.
And Geeta is Rukmani.
And Riya ma'am is Radha.
Me?
I'm Hanuman in a guest appearance.
Go!
Kutty, your zip is open.
What? Which zip?
Three, two, one.. Winner.
I won, I won.. ‐ This is cheating..
How can a 'Lungi' have a fly? He..
"Kids drink with soda Men drink neat"
"I drank litres of alcohol Little by little"
Okay.
Five, zero, 50. ‐ Hey, Pammi!
My dear!
A flirty wife..
three and five..
35. ‐ Hey..
Make way, son. I'm going to announce the numbers now.
Nobody reads tombola numbers better than me.
For every number, I have a punchline.
And some are really naughty ones.
To do this with me..
girls are standing in line.
Sexy, sexy 69.
Sir, the number is 33.
Yeah, but the 69 joke is better.
Please be precise. Is it 69 or 33?
Sir, please read properly. ‐ Okay, I will..
33. Three, three, 33. ‐ Thank you.
Okay, next.. ‐ It's not there.
If I see such legs
I'd go straight to heaven.
Sweet number.. 11.
Okay, this is the best one.
Best punchline ever.
Young in age but legally clear.
Sweet and sexy 16.
Dear.. 16, dear.
That was a rhyme.
It's a young age, but it's legally clear, right?
What are you doing? ‐ There is no such number, sir.
People are not getting it, man.
Go.
Your zip is open.
A lizard!
Three, two, one point five.
One.. Anjali won.
Nobody laughed at my jokes today.
The tombola ones. ‐ It's okay.
Henceforth, crack decent jokes, it'll suit you.
Hi. ‐ Hi, Riya. You're here? Did you get any traffic on your way?
What happened? ‐ This is Geeta.
I'm with her now. You've lost your chance with me now.
Shut up, Chaddha!
I'm Riya Pahwa. ‐ Geeta Varun.
Nice to meet you.
Same here.
Where can I get a drink? ‐ The bar is right there.
Okay.
No. ‐ Chaddha sir. ‐ T. P..
Sir, Radha on the dance floor.
Chuck Rukmani.
You..
like thumb wrestling?
Hey, bro, what are you doing?
Cheapster!
Yes.
I haven't won anything this evening.
I feel like an absolute loser.
So please..
Okay?
Kutty..
Parmeet wants to tell you something.
Hey, DJ Chubby.
You made me crazy today.
It was freaking amazing.
You will be the DJ at our wedding.
Yes? ‐ Yes.
Thank you!
Amazing. ‐ Thank you!
Hey, Amit. I was looking for you.
Is it?
I heard that you're getting a transfer from Faridabad.
Yes.
I felt that I should see more of the world.
Anyway, best of luck.
Did you tell anyone in the office?
No. No one.
And you, too. Please don't tell anyone.
You should've at least told your friends.
Pammi.
Saleem sir, be careful. Careful.
200 for 100.. 200 for 100 on Saleem sir.
200 for 100.. ‐ Pammi.
I need to tell you something. ‐ 200 for 100..
That was good!
Now my turn. ‐ You lost to a girl?
Let me see who is stronger.
Amit and Pammi.
Pammi will win.
Wow. It's a close fight.
Yes.. ‐ Focus..
Distract her. What happened?
Well done, Pammi! Well done!
Pammi.
Hey, Amit. It's okay, man! It's just a game. Don't be so disappointed.
This was the best game.
I'm a champion at this.
Juice, please. ‐ Yes.
Hello. ‐ Hi.
So..
Do you know Chaddha since college?
No, I'm his broker.
This is our first casual meet.
Okay.
How nice.
This party has been organised well, right?
I'm enjoying a lot.
Yeah.
Me, too.
You were amazing tonight.
Thank you.
I feel like I should..
What are you doing?
Sir. One beer, please.
And one cosmopolitan with some 'Chaat Masala' on the rim.
Seven cherries and an umbrella. Yeah.
So, Kitty and you are dating again?
Sap, baby tiger..
Have you ordered my drink or not?
Yeah. Hey, make it quick. ‐ Did you tell him about the umbrella?
So cute!
Amit, man, I am totally in love with this guy!
He's made me crazy!
Like, I'm crazy about you, Sapan.
This is my favourite cocktail.
But do you know which is my most favourite cocktail?
Which one? ‐ Sex on the beach..
Please say in front of everyone that I'm your wild cat.
Yeah? Please say I'm your wild cat.
Say me I'm your wild cat. ‐ You are my wild cat.
We are dating. After all these months
Saps realised his mistake and he apologised.
And I suddenly wrapped myself in his arms
and then, my bra strap popped open.
And, then, you know what happened? He's very naughty.
But I'm so excited, man!
You're happy, right? ‐ I'm happy.
Kitty..
Saps.
Hey..
Hi.
You smoke? ‐ No, thank you.
Why are you here alone?
Felt like being alone, so..
I'm actually.. I'm so sorry. I can leave. ‐ No..
It's okay.
Sure?
Amit, what am I doing here?
This question.. ‐ No. When I spoke to Chaddha
in the morning, over the phone
hearing from him, I felt that I should come here.
I shouldn't have taken things for granted.
Wow, I never felt that you are..
I mean.. ‐ Even I didn't.
Hey! Have you made up your mind about the transfer?
Yes, absolutely! A hundred percent. ‐ Good.
A new beginning..
with new people at the new office.
Yeah. I really need that.
I'm sure you'll like it.
Yep.
Pammi..
Brother..
Bro, I'll do it this time.. ‐ Hey, don't worry.
Careful, hold him.
So?
Do you want to thumb wrestle again?
Why? Are you scared?
You're terrified
to thumb wrestle with a girl..
What happened?
Man, I..
What? ‐ Pammi, I love you.
I really, really do.
What?
I just..
I just wanted to say it once and..
I did.
You don't know how difficult.. ‐ Hey, no. No!
Don't.. Don't worry about it.
Actually, you.. Don't say anything. ‐ You're my best friend.
Yeah, I don't want to remain just friends.
Do you get it?
I can't do this anymore.
I'm just sorry.
No.. ‐ No? I mean.. ‐ Okay, Chaddha.
Hi. ‐ I'm off.
I had a great time. ‐ Cool.
And I hope that you collect a lot of money
for domestic‐abuse victims.
Yes.. There is a box over there.
Okay. ‐ Okay. ‐ I'll see you soon.
One minute. Riya..
Riya, I just wanted to say..
I hope I didn't break your heart.
Okay.
Bye.
She's amazing, right?
So, in the end, Sonia left Manmohan
and Krishna got Rukmani.
But Riya isn't angry with me.
So, Krishna got Radha, too.
Net‐net.
Jagdeep Chaddha handled the situation very well.
Nobody got hurt.
Just 10 minutes ago.
I didn't understand what..
Aunty, I'll talk to you later.
Amit, I..