What happened? ‐ Nothing.
Pammi is on leave, and she is coming back tomorrow.
It's been a long time since I have seen her.
Pammi and Parmeet's wedding date has been fixed.
In the month of June.
Good. Very good. They will save money.
Well, people eat less during summer.
That Amit dude has been staring at me for a week.
Normally, I would have freaked out.
But I'm immune because of Chaddha sir.
It was so cold.
Hey, wow!
Look who's back to work after a vacation.
Good morning, sir. ‐ So, how was the vacation?
It was okay. ‐ Okay?
You went on a honeymoon before the wedding, and it was just okay?
We didn't go on a honeymoon. ‐ Really?
No cuddle wuddle in the cool weather of Shimla?
No. ‐ You guys didn't do anything?
No, I mean.. Roasted corn, boating or cotton candy?
Show me the photos.
Some people show pictures to everyone after a vacation.
Like Chaddha sir.
Well, he's more into Photoshop than photos.
You don't have photos? ‐ I don't have them with me now.
Pammi, I'm not asking you for a hard copy.
Share it online.
I'll send you a friend request again. Okay? Send it.
What the.. Who did this?
Eyy.. Yikes..
It stinks so bad. Has anyone puked in here?
Move away. Move away, dude.
What happened, sir? ‐ Check it.
Check it out, Kutty. See what it is.
Check it out.
Sir.
Sir. Open the door, sir!
Just this.. ‐ Open the door, sir.
Sir! Sir, open the door. Sir, please. ‐ Sir, please!
Sir, the door.. ‐ Close it. Close the door.
What was it?
That was a very bad smell indeed.
I've used the bus terminal toilets only once in my life.
It smelled the same.
This smell is entering my head and stopping my brain from working.
That is.. That is lethal.
Yuck.
How did it get into my office? What the hell is that?
Mmm..
Has anyone brought radish parathas for lunch?
What?
Is it done ?
Sir, I did what I could do.
Please call some workers from the warehouse.
Okay.
Oh, no! It still stinks.
Mm‐hmm.
The smell is even worse now.
Looks like Bhadoria has rubbed it into the carpet.
Look, I have great knowledge of human urine.
In one day, approximately 6.3 cups are produced in our bladder.
And in ancient Rome
people used urine to whiten their teeth.
They show those endurance tests on reality television, right?
Sleep on scorpions, swim in a pool of rats.
This is similar to that.
No. No!
I can't sit here.
Hello, ma'am.
I had forgotten your face.
Me too. How're you? ‐ Just like usual.
So, tell me. How was your trip to Shimla? ‐ It was fun.
A little or a lot?
It was a lot of fun.
What's up? So? You had fun, right?
‐ Parmeet
now even you're stinking of it. Please.
Okay! You didn't have any problems with me then, and now I stink, huh?
Stay away from me.
I should stay away? Who'll come closer to you then?
Please.
Hey, Bhadoria. What's going on in Chaddha sir's room?
First drizzle of the morning.
Sir?
Yes, they're changing my carpet.
So, until then, I'm your buddy.
Great. But there's only one computer. ‐ So?
There's an empty desk in HR, so.. ‐ Okay.
Go there.
To be honest, I was feeling suffocated in that cabin.
Today, after a long time, I got the chance to sit with common people.
There's going to be a lot of chaos.
Not in mine, but in everyone else's life.
Oh, my shucks! Amit, are you going to sit here?
Yep. Just for a day. But yeah..
Earlier Madhukar sir used to sit here. Then he got some kind of wood allergy.
Wood allergy?
Yes, dude. Anything can happen nowadays.
Like the other day, I was reading on a website
that a man in China eats tube lights.
Well, there might be some nutritional value in that.
Look, we still don't know everything about science.
Anyway, my nutritionist keeps telling me to eat light.
I'm sure it means something else.. ‐ But I'm glad that you're here, dude.
I'm so happy. I was so bored here. Now, we'll be best buddies.
I'm learning new things nowadays.
Like I go to a website for pronunciation.
I learnt there, Amit, that 'grand prix'
is not 'grand pricks'. The F1 race that we watch
it's 'gran pree'.
'Gran pree'.
Come on, try.
Open your mouth wide open.
'Gran pree'.
Amit. ‐ Yes?
'Gran'. ‐ 'Gran'.
'Pree'. ‐ 'Pree'.
I'm loving it, dude! ‐ I'm loving it, dude!
T.P., don't copy me.
Sorry , sir.
My job is very stressful, man. ‐ Absolutely, sir.
It was very different back in the day
when I used to be a salesman like you commoners.
You know, my desk was also the same.. Very similar to this one.
Is it, sir? Who used to be your boss then, sir?
Darpan Gupta.
Darpan Gupta was the most boring person in this world.
He was very grumpy.
He had only one agenda in life. Work, work and work.
Looking at him, I decided I'll be such a manager
that people start laughing when I enter
and applaud when I leave.
Dude, even I want to have a destination wedding.
Like Virushka. So cute!
I love it when couples have such joined names.
Like Saifeena, Brangelina.
Even mine will sound so cute, right?
Shah Rukh and Kitty. Shitty.
Varun and Kitty. Vitty.
Amit.
Amit, Chaddha sir is asking how to lower your chair.
It has a lever on the side. ‐ I said the same thing.
Thanks.
OMG, OMG, OMG!
Amit, is he your friend? Sapan? Introduce me to him, dude.
Really? ‐ Please, buddy. I checked out his profile.
All his pictures from Mauritius in which he is wearing red boxers.
He is so handsome, dude.
Please at least introduce me to him, buddy.
Ask him if he finds me cute or not.
Please. ‐ Kitty, I think he.. I mean..
Please, Amit. You're an old friend.
Just introduce me once. Just ask him once. What's the problem in checking?
I'll buy you hookah in Jwala Heri Market. God promise.
Okay, done. I'll buy you iced lollies as well.
Amit.. Amit, please do it.
Amit..
Amit, just one introduction. Just ask him, buddy.
Do you know who used to sit next to me? ‐ Who?
Prem Chopra. ‐ Really? ‐ Yes.
But he was a field representative.
Yes, but whenever he came to office
he would sit in front of my desk. Always.
Many years ago.. I mean, a few years ago
there was a guy with me in training.
Prem Chopra.
We used to have a blast in the office.
One day, we sat the whole day without our pants on.
And one day, Chopra shoved a trainee's head into the commode.
But that guy had no sense of humour. He left the job.
T.P.? ‐ Yes, sir.
Attack!
Nobody will be spared. Take this!
Here!
I'll kill you. ‐ Pammi! ‐ Take that!
Take this, Kutty. Die!
Take this, Rinchin!
Die! ‐ I'll complain to Chawla Aunty.
Hello? ‐ Hi..
[Kitty] Hello?
'Hello?'
Why do people give missed calls?
Back to work.
That was fun, right? ‐ Yes, sir. It was fun.
Can we do it one last time? ‐ Yes, sir.
Saleem!
Boring, dude. ‐Yeah, sir. Boring.
Well, sir..
What do you think about the mess in your office?
First, I thought it was an outsider.
Now I feel like it's someone on the inside.
I'm angry. ‐ Sir.
Do you suspect anyone?
I don't understand why this happened.
I mean, why would anyone hate me so much?
That's impossible.
Only a terrorist can do such a thing. CBI should inquire this.
But terrorists and piss..
Perhaps..
Someone in the office is responsible.
It was wrong.
The thing that happened in sir's office was very wrong.
It was very bad.
Sir, you're not going to hit me again with a paper ball, are you?
No.
Sorry, sir. I'm quite busy. You know, today's Friday.
Oh, really?
And I don't have any work, huh?
Well, you people..
All of you are just a bunch of paper‐pushers.
None of you is loyal to your work.
You all just want to take your salary and go home.
Please make it quick. I have to go.
Yes. ‐ Where are you going?
Sir, I was on a sales call.
Sales call? You people don't know anything about sales.
Sir, I was.. ‐ What?
You have to put your mind and soul into your work.
Without constantly looking at the clock.
You people obviously need motivation.
Motivation!
Yes, Saleem ji. Motivation.
There will be a contest for sales staff today.
That's it!
Today, whoever does the most number of sales
will win a prize money of 5.. No, Rs. 3,100.
Sir, are you also participating?
Of course.
I'm going to take Amit's clients.
Pammi, put up a score board.
Let the games begin.
Hello, Amit Sharma's boss speaking.
Rajinder agreed? ‐ Yes.
To clean. ‐ Yes.
But how did he agree so easily? ‐ I don't know.
Your.. ‐ Leave it alone.
Your hair's getting spoilt..
Shut up, dude. The sale in Sarojini is better than the one at the mall.
And, anyway, have you ever had 'Sooji Golgappas' at the mall?
It's yucks, dude.
Let's go to Sarojini.
There's a stall where you get very tasty 'Schezwan Bhalla'.
Okay, Mr. Tandon. See you in London.
Okay. Done.
Yes..
Pammi, write it down. One more.
Saleem ji, what are you doing?
Passing time?
Please take a good look at the scoreboard, Saleem.
Sarla ji, zero. An egg.
Sometimes we have to show the kids
who the real daddy is.
This is a way to get them back on track.
A little bit of loving and a little bit of thrashing.
And today, I'm gonna thrash them with my victory.
Saleem sir, who do you think has done it?
Hey, I thought you did it.
Really? And I thought you did it.
By the way, the cartoon is very good.
Whatever happened in my office was not done by an outsider.
Some traitor from the office has done it.
Perhaps, everybody's done it together.
Decency is dead, you know.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Yes.. It will be delivered. Okay.
Pammi, make it nine.
Shit. Sorry, I wasn't talking to you.
Yes.
I have an idea.
Let's cancel today's sales contest.
Please stay on hold. ‐ It's not happening today.
Sir, this is not fair. ‐ Oh, really?
Do you think what happened to me was fair?
Anyway, today is not a good day for the competition.
Sir, but you chose the day.
There's someone here who is jealous of my popularity.
That's why he targeted me and my office.
Your popularity?
Whatever happened inside is a personal attack on me.
Whoever did this
I want him to confess right now. Come on.
Yes, whoever it is, just confess.
Okay. All right.
I'm going to punish you all.
What's our punishment?
I want you all to sit on your chairs
and do nothing.
T.P.
Sir. He.. ‐ T. P.!
Sorry, sir.
Hey. ‐ Hi.
Dude, I wanted to talk to you.
Don't mind, but..
What do you think of Kitty?
I don't know, bro. She's a BTM, man.
I mean, she's.. She's hot. ‐ Okay. Great.
So, would you mind talking to her?
Sure. Why not? Did she say something about me?
She said a lot about you.
Okay. So, like.. What is she looking for?
Does she want to have some fun
or will I have to ride a horse for her?
You know. ‐ Honestly, I don't know, so..
Ask her then.
Ask her. Go and ask her, and let me know.
Text me. ‐ Sure. ‐ Yeah?
Did you tell him that I'm not a casual type?
There's no chance of being friends with smooches.
Long‐term definitely. Three kiddos minimum.
A house by the river side in Dehradun
because, A, my mom lives there
and, B, we can go to Mussoorie in winter to turn ourselves on.
Sorry, I shared too much with you.
But you tell him
that I'm quite cool. Like, I'm cool with everything.
You know he shouldn't get an impression
that I'm available 365/7.
But he should realise.. ‐ Okay. ‐ ..that he is lucky.
Like he has won a jackpot. Are you getting my point? I mean..
You know, it should make his face glow
as if he's been using rosewater and sandalwood face mask at night.
Sir, you do it too.
Chaddha, you.. ‐ I'll.. I am going out.
Darpan ji. Thanks for coming here.
Come with me.. ‐ But just a minute.
What happened? ‐ What happened to my pension?
Nothing. ‐ Is there a problem? ‐ No. Oh, yes!
No. I had told you.. ‐ Why did you ask me to come then?
Yes. I'll explain. Let's go over there. Come..
Over here.
Sir, I need your advice on something.
Someone at the office is targeting me.
He has done something in my cabin. ‐ What has he done?
Something that people do in the toilet.
Once such an incident happened in my office, too.
Really?
So, you were betrayed by a friend, too.
How did you handle it?
First of all, your colleagues are not your friends.
They are employees, and they will always look at you as their boss.
Not necessarily. They are my family.
Family? Not possible.
Well, sir, we both have different management styles.
So, you have a management style, too?
Not bad.
You used to sit with your pants down in the office.
That.. ‐ No need to explain.
Listen to me.
Friends, employees, family
each has its own place.
If you mix them up
this is what happens.
People's dreams get shattered.
But someone pissed on mine.
Until yesterday, I was ready to
donate my kidneys to my employees.
But today, if someone asks for it
I'll ask them to get lost.
Go get the kidneys from a monkey at the zoo. Rascals.
Bhadoria, hurry up.
Hello. ‐[Prem] Hello.
Hello?
'Can I talk to a pimp by the name of Chaddha?'
Who are you? And who gave you this number?
'This number dropped out of my underwear.'
Hello.. Hello, listen to me..
I said your number fell out of my underwear. ‐ Hello..
Listen, it's an office.
Hey, Chaddhe!
Chopra, man!
Chopra got fried and then he cried.
How are you doing? ‐ I'm fine.
Listen, I left a gift for you. Did you get it?
I left a perfume and a painting for you.
No. Pammi, was there any gift for me?
Where did you leave the gifts?
Inside your office.
Did anybody see the painting in my office?
It's from Chopra.
And perfume. Perfume?
You mean that perfume?
What do you mean? That means you did..
Yes, you idiot! Now you get it!
So, it was you.
I mean.. ‐ Did you like the perfume?
Eau de Urine for men.
Eau de Urine for men!
I hope I got your butt right in the painting. ‐ Dude..
You know what? You're a dog.
Chopra was behind all of this.
I should have guessed it with the smell.
I've made you practise so many times.
Not everyone gets such an advanced humour.
This is Chopra's love
that he vandalised my office.
And yes. Then he sprayed my office with his special perfume.
Chopra.
I don't blame anybody.
You know, I always emphasise on one thing.
Everybody here loves me.
Like, lots.
[Pammi] Amit, it's Pammi.
'Whenever I look up, I see Chaddha sir sitting in your place.'
'Come back soon. I'm getting bored.'
'Okay, listen. I have changed my computer's position'
'so that I don't have to look at Chaddha sir's face.'
'Hello. Wilkins Chawla. Yes, one minute.'
'I'll put you through.'
'Sorry, Amit. Sir was right in front of me, so I had to put up an act.'
'Hello, I've a chance to leave early today, so I'm going home.'
'See you tomorrow.'
'I forgot to tell you. I've found a new place for 'Momos'.'
'We will order tomorrow.'