Today is cleaning day at the office.
Wilkins Chawla's Clean Office Campaign.
Today, we'll give the peon a break
and clean things on our own.
We'll remove spider webs from all the corners
we'll mop the floor.
And most importantly
we will click a photo for the company newsletter.
I really don't know why they reject my photo every year.
Here are the individual responsibilities for the employees.
Saleem sa'ab.
You're going to clean out hair from the sink in the women's toilet.
How do you know that there's.. ‐ Do not argue. Come on, take it.
Sarla ji, you're in charge of the pantry.
But keep in mind that this time I've counted the number of teabags.
But I've never.. ‐ Don't get agitated.
Get on with the work. Come on.
Kutty, you're in charge of gents' toilet.
I don't know who's been drawing obscene graffiti on the walls there.
And Rinchin..
Where's Rinchin? ‐ He's unwell.
He is just unwell, right? He is not dead, is he?
Why didn't he come to the office?
I know. It's unacceptable.
Absolutely unacceptable.
Yes.
What's going on here?
Sir, Rinchin is unwell.
That's why he hasn't come to work today.
On a Friday?
Yes, sir.
Sir, if it's okay with you, I'll talk to this traitor.
No.. I'll talk to him.
[Rinchin] Hello.
Hello, Rinchin. I heard that you're sick.
'Sir.. I'm down with fever.'
Today's cleaning day, buddy.
All the commodes here are missing you.
'Yes, sir. I would've definitely come, but..'
'My health..'
Sir. ‐ Yes.
Ask him the symptoms.
My doctor uncle is on speaker phone. B. A. M. S.
How are you feeling now?
'I have a headache and throat infection, sir.'
'I have a cold and I've puked twice since morning.'
Symptoms are spot on.
'Sir, I'm feeling dizzy, too. Can I rest now?'
Yes.. Sure. See you on Monday. Okay?
Enjoy your long weekend. Okay?
'Sir, how can I enjoy being sick?'
Yes.. Of course.
I think he's really sick. ‐ Sir..
Being sick on a Friday means planning for a holiday.
It calls for an official enquiry, sir.
What do you think?
Okay, T. P. Find out.
I selected this from Chandni Chowk. Do you like it?
Oh, my shucks, girl. You'll look like an angel.
Mankind's angel.
Boys are going to slit their wrists on the day of your wedding.
By the way, who's doing your makeup?
Tell them to do proper contouring
so that your cheekbones
appear like they're about to jump out of your face.
Okay.
My cousin is doing my makeup. She's a makeup artist in Bombay.
Tell her to apply only clotted‐blood lipstick.
What? Clotted..
It's a pretty cool shade, girl. Have a look. It's a trendy colour.
Come on, put it on.
Now? ‐ Obvio.
Hurry up.
Beauty, girl!
I would've cried if I didn't have mascara on.
#sexysecretary.
Why don't you deck up like this daily?
Switch on the exhaust fan in the toilet and cry out loud, dude.
You might feel better.
Cheapster.
Do you know what's more dangerous than drunk driving?
Drunk talking to Chaddha sir.
Yes. I mean.. I had a crush on Pammi
but it was a long time ago. I mean..
And by mistake, I told this to the one person
who's the worst at keeping secrets.
Sir, I want to talk to you about something.
Yes. Tell me, Amit.
Sir, the secret that I had shared with you at Corbett.. ‐ Yes.
Yes!
Sir, please don't tell that to anyone. ‐ Of course..
Who else knows about it?
Sir, nobody knows about it except for you, so..
Oh!
Amit shared his secret only with me.
Which means he not only considers me his friend
but his best friend.
So, hereafter, his secrets are my secrets.
I'm not going to tell anyone.
Zip..
Temporary employee.
I've to take care of something very important
so I won't be able to monitor these cleaners.
So, I want you to be their supervisor for today.
Cool. ‐ What does 'cool' mean?
Cool.
Green tea. I've heard that it helps in reducing weight.
Yup. I've heard that too.
So, today..
Is the temperature in the office fine or is it hot?
I'm talking about the temperature of the reception.
Or should I say the receptionist? ‐ Oh, okay.
Sir! ‐ Don't worry, buddy.
Nobody will get it.
Get what?
Do not poke your nose in, okay?
Just drink your coffee.
Great. I'm leaving.
Why don't you try this? It will help you burn some fat.
Rinchin, why didn't you answer my phone calls?
Is that so?
You can be in the toilet for 15 minutes
but you can't spend 8 hours in the office.
I know 12 different ways to find out if someone's lying.
Twelve.
The main signs of lying are avoiding eye contact
talking with one's head down
and sweating, etcetera.
But the problem is that these methods don't work over a phone call.
Green tea. I'm trying since you suggested.
Very good, sir. ‐ Very good, buddy.
What's going on here? ‐ Nothing. Nothing at all.
Sir, are you drinking green tea?
And you are smiling and chatting with Amit like you're his friend.
This is making me very suspicious.
Why? Can't I try something new?
Really?
But you haven't tried my carom seeds‐infused tea till date.
T.P., stop it. I like green tea.
Why can't I be friends with Amit?
He shares all his secrets with me.
What kind of secrets? What kind of secrets, sir?
Well, actually, I wanted to spy on Rinchin
and Chaddha sir told me
that if there's one person who is capable of doing that, it's T. P.
Tell me it's true, sir.
Yes. I said something like that to him.
Sir, you've put your trust in me.
I'm not going to let you down, sir.
And if I let you down
then Triveni Prasad Mishra's respectful father
won't be respectful anymore.
Mission Finding Rinchin started. Sapan..
Sapan. ‐ Too good, sir ji. Too good.
Come on. Let's go for lunch.
Sir, I've had my lunch, so I'll just go..
Let's go shopping then. Let's have some coffee.
Have a heart‐to‐heart with me about her. ‐ Sir..
Sir, I have to finish cleaning as well, so I'll just..
You can't impress her with your cleaning skills.
So, Pammi.. ‐ Okay. Sir, let's go.
Great. Very good.
Hold this, Amit.
Sir, what are you doing?
What are you doing? ‐ You should try it.
Let's ask the sales girl. ‐ Sir.. ‐ There she is.. Come..
Hello, sir. How may I help you?
Madam, my brother, Amit wants to impress a girl.
No. And he is not my brother.
Well, actually, I'm his boss and a friend, too.
So, tell us. What kind of a gift would you suggest?
Sir, we've jewellery, handbags and clothes.
Show us your clothing section. ‐ Yes, sir. Come with me.
If you want to impress a girl, gift her clothes.
The shorter, the better.
I'm giving you important advice. Grab it.
Sir, here are the dresses.
No. We need something shorter.
Sir, you can buy those T‐shirts or these shorts.
No.. We need even shorter ones.
Mister, if you want to buy lingerie, why are you beating around the bush?
Have you never seen bras and panties or a girl?
Ma'am.. We don't want to buy anything for anyone.
I'm extremely sorry.
Sir, let's go. What's wrong with you?
When Rinchin called you in the morning, did he sound sick?
Yes.
How do you know that?
Because he was coughing.
Coughing how?
Like everybody does. Is there any particular style of coughing?
There's dry cough.
There's wet cough.
Then there's horse‐like coughing.
And then there is fake coughing.
Which one was it? ‐ The first one.
Yes.
Thank you.
Dimwit.
Amit.
No.
Okay, tell me. Why do you like Pammi?
Can we talk about something else? ‐ Okay..
So, what do you like about her?
Her hair? Her figure? Her.. ‐ Her ideas.
I like talking to her.
And her sense of humour, which is great.
Really? ‐ Yeah. ‐ She never laughs at my jokes.
I'm sure she has her reasons, sir.
Okay, tell me. Which one?
This one, sir.
That was my choice, too.
Let's buy two of them.
Then us brothers will wear the same T‐shirt and go for a drink sometime.
Okay?
That was fun, right?
Don't tell anyone, okay? ‐ Yep.
What were you and Chaddha sir talking about?
World peace, quantum physics and..
Marxism.
Amit Sharma.
Chaddhi's buddy. ‐ Absolutely.
Unbelievable. ‐ Amit, my T‐shirt. ‐ Sir.
Same to same. ‐ Same? ‐ Same.
Sir, I've researched Rinchin's coughing and..
T.P., you haven't found out yet? Useless.
Sir, I'm your Doberman.
I would go to his house if you grant me permission. I'll sniff him out.
Okay. Find out.
Process this bill.
Two T‐shirts from Punky‐Monkey.
Sir, it's your shopping bill. ‐ Work‐related shopping.
Sir, if we produce this bill
the head office will take away your credit card again.
They took away my credit card
just because I took my client to a five‐star hotel.
You booked a couple's massage session at a five‐star spa.
With the client.
We have to do it in order to build a relationship.
He was about to sign a very big deal.
And he backed off after seeing you on the massage table.
Sorry, sir, but this bill can't be approved.
These are T‐shirts.. ‐ I bought it for Amit, man!
So that he can concentrate on work. That poor boy is depressed.
No, he's not. He's looks perfectly fine.
How do you know, Anjali? You're not his friend.
That's why you have no idea
that the girl in this office whom he loves
is getting married to someone else.
Pammi?
Amit.
You didn't tell me that you love Pammi.
What?
Now the whole office knows that I had a crush on Pammi.
Long ago.
But not anymore, right?
Amit is up to something.
Chaddha sir..
What do you think?
Will Amit elope with Pammi?
Mind your own business, Kutty.
It's between them and me.
If you were Pammi, who would you have chosen?
Amit or Parmeet?
Sarla ji, just mind your own business.
Parmeet.
Nobody can cheat me.
You know, once I suspected a girl
and spent four nights outside her window.
Eventually, I found out
that she was really cheating on me
with her husband. Can you believe it?
404. This is Rinchin's house.
And look at this. It's locked.
This means he is out enjoying somewhere.
Why are you depressed? And..
I'm not depressed.
Nice.
Was the cleaning day useful? ‐ Yes.
I found an expired Crocin tablet.
No problem.
If T. P. gives you a headache, I'll give you a tablet.
Okay.
Well, Pammi..
I have to tell you something. ‐ Go on.
Basically, on that night at Corbett
I told Jagdeep sir..
I'm such a fool.
So..
So, basically, I told him that
when you joined here.. At the beginning..
I kind of used to like you.
And I had a crush on you.
So..
And I thought I should tell you because..
You know, how Jagdeep sir is, so.. ‐ Yeah..
So, this matter is three years old. Don't take it seriously.
Yes..
And when I got to know about Parmeet
I was like.. ‐ Of course, Amit.
Actually, I also used to think that
maybe you like me.
Liked me.
Oh, really? ‐ Yes.
You already knew that. I mean..
Smart Pammi.
So, you'll hide under the table whenever you see me, right?
No. Actually, I'll go to the washroom
and I'll stay there the whole day.
Would that be fine with you? ‐ Yes.
Cool.. So, we are cool, right?
Of course. ‐ Great. Okay. I'll see you.
Movie was good, right?
And now dinner? ‐ Nice. ‐ Got you!
So, you were taking us for a ride since morning.
I caught you red‐handed, Rinchin.
Who is he? ‐ Triveni Prasad Mishra.
And who are you? ‐ I'm Deepak.
Nice to meet you.
T.P., please don't say anything to Chaddha sir.
No.. Your sins are unforgivable.
I'll expose you in front of everyone.
T.P., please! He's my cousin, I swear.
Then he must not be knowing
what sort of a degenerate you are.
No, he knows everything. He's actually..
So, he knows that
you faked your sickness to skip office.
Oh, you're talking about that lie.
Please, T. P., don't tell Chaddha sir.
Will you fold your hands before me? ‐ Yes..
Will you touch my feet? ‐ No.
Well, will you offer me something to eat?
I'm famished. ‐ Yes. Done. ‐ Yes?
As you all witnessed, my suspicion was right.
Rinchin wasn't sick.
But I'm not going to say this to Chaddha sir.
Because now I'm Rinchin's guest.
And I'm not the kind of person
who bites the hand that feeds him.
Amit.
What exactly happened?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
The accounts department wasn't passing my bill, and I blurted..
But please don't break this friendship of ours. Please.
It's okay.
It's not a big deal. I'll handle it. No problem.
Cool.. ‐ Okay.
Are you okay? ‐ Yes.
I'm all right.
Okay..
‐ I'm fine. ‐ Yeah?
I'm fine. ‐ Yeah. ‐ I'm fine.
Did you clean the toilet?
Look, intern, today
everyone is supposed to clean their own area.
And I don't even go there.
Where do you go then?
In the alley, behind the building.
The tea vendor, security guard and beggars use that alley.
You should come along with me sometime.
Doing it in the open air is too much fun. ‐ No, thank you.
Hey.. ‐ No. Well, toilet, done.
Sir, this is next week's task list.
Keep it there, Pammi. ‐ Sir, are you all right?
I'm fine, Pammi, but
what I did regarding you and Amit.. I mean..
Sir, it's okay. Don't worry..
But, Pammi, I'm not just your boss. I'm a friend, too.
How can I do that..
Sir, it's an old matter.
Yes, he had a crush on me.. ‐ It's not that old, Pammi.
It just happened on the night at Corbett. ‐ What?
Did he say that he had a crush on me on the night at Corbett
or when I joined this company?
Umm..
I didn't tell you anything. I..
I‐I'm not in this room.
Why are you talking to yourself, Pammi? Go.
I'm a very discreet person.
That's why everyone wants to tell me their secrets.
Shall we go? ‐ Yes.
But that's not a good thing.
My mom tells me that when you keep secrets to yourself
your stomach starts hurting.
And this stomach ache can't be cured by carom seeds.
So, I'm sorry to say.
But, henceforth, Jagdeep Chaddha
won't listen to anyone's secret.