Properly..
Hey, idiot! Left, Man, left!
Sir, my left or your left?
Hey.. ‐ Or both of our left?
When I'll slap you, you'll know which left it is.
Jagdeep, where are you shoving this?
That's what she said.
Come. ‐ Jagdeep, my rangoli.
I didn't do this. T. P. did this.
Sir, my shoe size is eight and this is nine..
And I am standing here.
T.P., have some shame, and hold this.
It's selfie time. From Chaddhi to his buddies.
Happy Diwali, one, two, three. ‐ Yay!
Bhadoria, come here.
So, during Diwali
the companies give gifts to their clients and suppliers.
There are some sad gifts like this one. Wilkins Chawla's calendar.
And then there are some cool gifts like this one.
Globo Bank's piggy bank.
So, I was thinking of gifting this to Pammi.
A, because she likes animals.
And, B, because saving money is a very good habit.
So, I was thinking of putting in some special things in it.
Like chocolates.
This photo of mine
which she finds very funny. I don't know why.
But yeah.. Okay.
Photo.
And..
A note.
What's written on it?
I can't tell you that because it's personal.
Look, you should share happiness on Diwali
with the ones you.. like.
That's all, so..
Did you check the song list? ‐ Yeah.
Obscene words like 'bidi', 'blouse' and 'skirt' won't do.
Yeah. 'Amplifier', 'sweet love', 'tweeter'..
Absolutely no English words.
Today, at my friend Monty's Chhatarpur farmhouse
there's a card party.
But I'm stuck here with these women from the black‐and‐white era.
What the f..
And, Sarla ji, for the ceremony inauguration
you were going to get the lamp, right?
Here it is.
Sarla ji, you've been bringing this for the last three years.
But it's been working just fine for the last three years, right?
Hey, it's Diwali! Diwali!
My sparklers! Yes.
Even he is here. My crunchy cracker!
How's it going?
Planning and all?
Sir, Pammi has added frozen peas to the 'Pulao'.
Nothing vegetarian. Only non‐veg, okay? ‐ Sir, budget?
Oh, Sarla ji. How much money do you need?
Tell me.
This time, everything will be double.
Double the food. Double the desserts.
Tell you what, keep all of it.
This Diwali has to be unforgettable.
I know..
You might be thinking that the boss is losing all his money this Diwali.
Actually, when I saved the company's money by firing Bhandari
the head office gave me a bonus.
Bhandari.
I think I should call him on Diwali.
Think big. Something big.
You know, a rocket firecracker that goes up in the sky and writes
'Happy Diwali and peace to all.'
'Hail Goddess. Rock the world. Jagdeep Chaddha and friends.'
Are you serious?
No, sir..
Firecrackers are the influence of of foreign culture.
Western culture.
Sir, I think we should think of something
that's purely Indian.
For instance, Uncle Deepak.
Uncle who? ‐ Uncle Deepak, sir.
He's very popular in my village.
He brings happiness during Diwali.
Really? How does this uncle look?
Santa Claus on Diwali?
No.. Not Santa Claus.
Uncle Deepak.
Hundred percent Indian. Here you go, your gift.
Be happy, my child.
Hey, cool, T. P.
Sack full of gifts, beard, cap..
Very original.
By the way, how does this Uncle Deepak laugh?
Very nice.
Guys, Prem Chopra will also..
T.P., why on earth are you dressed as Santa Claus?
No, sir. I'm Uncle Deepak.. ‐ Sarla ji.
Who gave you this wall clock?
It's a gift from Swastika Group of Companies.
Wonderful. It's nice. Very nice.
Looks like the corporates are being quite generous this year.
Right?
Swastika Group of Companies gifted me a wall clock this year.
A hamper from Sunrise Company.
The reward of sweet‐talking them for six years.
From Cosco Textiles, I received this cotton saree as a gift.
I'm gonna rub this on the faces of those women who wear jeans‐top.
Next Sunday, there's a protest against love jihad.
I'll wear it there.
Bhadoria, is that what you got?
This is nothing, sir.
Kutty sir has got a microwave. ‐ What?
Yes, sir. ‐ A real one?
Yes, sir. A real one.
I used to get huge gifts when I was on the field.
Toaster, foot massager..
But ever since I got confined to this office
I'm getting just calendars..
and this.. This mug.
'Ratanlal Gobar Gas . Because everything turns into waste eventually.'
Nonsense.
And outside, microwave.
Microwave.
Ready? Ta‐da..
Oh, it's so cute!
You don't want this?
Well, there's hardly ever anything left of my salary for me to save in this.
You keep it. ‐ Okay.
Something's in it.
Money?
Something more valuable than that.
What's in it? Tell me.
Okay. Everyone.
I was thinking since morning
why not do something new this Diwali.
Trendsetting. ‐ Like Uncle Deepak, sir. ‐ No, dude.
Diwali pool.
Sir.
I haven't brought my swimsuit.
Sarla ji, not that pool. I'm talking about a gift pool.
Just like the way they put all tips in the tip box of a restaurant
and then the management distributes it equally.
Let's follow that. Yes?
But, sir, who gives us tips here? ‐ I'm talking about gifts, dude.
I want you all to take out your best corporate gifts.
And, Bhadoria, get that box here.
Sir, one minute. ‐ Hurry up, dude.
Let's put our best corporate gifts in the box.
Bhadoria, get it. Hurry up.
Sir, I wanted to use this box for something else.
Forget it.
Everyone will put their gifts in it and then we will distribute.
Okay?
Starting with the boss, my precious mug.
I'm keeping this. Come on. ‐ Now, it's my turn.
Now, it's my turn because I'm second in command.
Here goes my coconut 'Barfi'. ‐ Very good, T. P.
Come on, everyone. Order is order.
Amit, put your gift in the box.
Come on. ‐ No..
I'm not giving this, sir. It's a special gift. I'm not giving this.
Really? What's so special about it?
Who gifted you that?
Who gifted you that? Here.. ‐ Sir.
Sir, it's a gift from a client for me.
I can't give this. ‐ No, not you..
Us. It's a gift for us. For Wilkins Chawla. Get it?
And there's no room for yours and mine in Wilkins Chawla.
Everything is ours. ‐ Did you hear?
Hail Lord Hanuman!
T.P., what are you doing? ‐ I snatched it. I snatched it, sir.
I snatched it. ‐ Come on.. ‐ T. P., it's special.
Come on, everyone. Come.. Come on..
Saleem sir, come. ‐ Madhukar.
Hey.. Here. Put all your gifts here. ‐ Sir..
Go.. ‐ Come on.
What is this? Not just the card. Get the entire gift hamper.
What will we do with the card? Come on.
Kutty, the big one. Very good.
Come on, everyone.
Yes, Kutty. Very good. The big one. Put it in this. ‐ Yes, very good.
Come.. ‐ Everybody, are you done?
Okay, step back, everyone. It's done. ‐ Very nice.
Hey! Don't touch. Don't touch. It's office property now. Move back.
Sir. ‐ Hey..
Happy, happy Diwali to you.
Sir, I'm laughing in case you didn't notice.
Very good, T. P. And the first gift.
And.. Goes to T. P. Mishra.
Yes! ‐ It's Amit's gift.
Yes, it's Amit's gift. I snatched Amit's gift from his hands.
T.P., focus here. Yes? ‐ Okay, sir. Yes.
The next gift goes to Sarla ji.
Sarla ji, the coconut Barfi is very tasty. Have it.
And this goes to Kutty. ‐ Kutty.
Come on.
Hey, come on. It seems like a lovely gift.
Sir, that.. ‐ What is it? A silver plate.
This goes to Anjali.
Anjali ji.. ‐ Anjali.
This is for Pammi. Where's Sapan?
This is for Rinchin. ‐ Rinchin, take it.
It's not made in China.
Come on, Amit.
This is a bit light. Madhukar.
Saleem ji. ‐ Saleem ji.
And this is for Bhadoria.
It's a memorable gift. Diwali card.
And last. I think it's the last.
And probably the least I think.
It's for me.
Dude! What's this?
What's this!
This? I wonder what's in it.
Does anyone have an idea?
Does anyone know?
People say that it's the thought that matters when it comes to gifts.
Absolutely wrong.
Value is more important than the thought.
I love you 20,635 plus taxes times.
The value of the gift reflects the value of the relationship.
It's simple mathematics.
He gave me this for a bloody microwave. This.
It doesn't even have a battery.
Open sesame.
Hello, Mom.
Hey, it's me. Who else?
Mom, you wanted a microwave, right?
I am getting one.
Tonight. Let's heat the dinner in the microwave.
Sure, prepare it. Okay.
A can of oil from Kamla Oil Mills.
Then who got the microwave?
What's wrong with him?
From Magnus Enterprise a redeemable voucher for a microwave.
It's incredible. ‐ Wow, dude.
Wow, Bhadoria. You're having a true Diwali this year.
Yes, Amit bhai. I'm enjoying it.
When I was in sales, I knew how to please my bosses.
But these people..
They are holding onto their gifts instead of spreading happiness.
Look.
They won't spread joy even on the day of Diwali.
Hello. Yes, Mom.
What? You're making lotus root 'Biryani'?
No, it's great..
Yes, I'll get curd.
Yes. The microwave, too. Yes.
Keep it over there, Madhukar ji.
Everyone looks good in sari, right?
You should have worn one, too.
Look. Look at this..
This hamper is worth about Rs. 5,000.
And that piggy bank is not even worth Rs. 100.
It's a great exchange, bro. Take it.
No..
The thing is that I like this piggy bank.
By the way, to turn down money on Diwali is a bad omen.
Where's the key? ‐ I don't know. What key? ‐ Hello.
Everybody, it's 6 p. m.
Stop working. Change your clothes.
You have already done it. Very good. Let the party begin.
No, sir.. We can party later.
First, we have to inaugurate the Diwali celebrations.
One minute. I'm the senior. Move!
Sir, begin the countdown. ‐ Yes.
Three, two, one. ‐ Two, one.
Happy Diwali!
Happy Diwali.
What's this? Is it a load‐shedding Diwali?
Sir, it was working, you know.
It's all right, Sarla ji.
Okay, let's do something fun instead of these boring things.
Diwali's incomplete unless you gamble.
Gambling is not allowed in the office.
With money. Correct.
But we are going to gamble with our gifts, dude.
Excited? Yes?
Firstly, rules. We all are going to bet our gifts.
And then we'll choose one card among the three.
For example, this one.
And if the card turns out to be the biggest like this one
you win.
And then you can exchange your gift with others.
Well, if you lose, then too bad.
Well, who wants to go first?
No. Your Royal Highness Saleem, it's your turn.
He got a king.
Hey, wow. You win.
What do you want? What gift do you want?
Microwave.
Whose turn is it now?
Okay, Pammi.
Come on. Choose a card.
She got a queen.
And Pammi wins. ‐ Microwave.
Not the piggy bank?
But it's a microwave..
If you want me to.. ‐ Hey, no, no. Go for it..
Okay. Who's next?
Oh, no! A 10! Amit, you lost.
Give back my piggy bank. ‐ Hey..
And take your hamper. Keep it.
Wow! You won with a 10.
Sir, it's my turn now.. ‐ Pick a card.
He got an ace. ‐ Yes!
Give me the piggy bank. Give back my piggy bank.
Come on, give it back with the key this time.
Give me the key. Sir, he is not giving the key.
Come on, Amit. Be a sport.
Good boy, Amit. ‐ Yes. ‐ Wow!
This game is too much fun.
Who wants to go next?
I can't stand it.
Diwali Party Planning Committee can't condone such unethical activities.
Kutty, loser. ‐ First, lottery.
Then gambling. What's next?
Dancing and alcohol? ‐ Yes.. Got it.
Is it an office or a den of debauchery?
I want the microwave.
I'm going to make soybean 'Kofta' in this for everybody.
Not so fast, Sarla ji. I'm the last player.
Your boss is yet to play.
Okay? Ready? Final round.
Go ahead, sir. ‐ Okay.
Long live Chaddha sir!
Who's the boss? ‐ Everybody repeat. Long live..
Who's the boss.. ‐ ..Chaddha sir.
Sarla ji.
You can still make those soybean 'Kofta'.
But with this sesame oil
because the microwave is mine.
Mine! Whose? Mine..
Give it to me. Come on. Come on, Sarla ji.
Come on.
Yes. All is well.
Happy Diwali to everyone. It's an amazing Diwali.
It's party time. Let's go.
Let's go.. Happy Diwali. Let's go, everyone.
T.P., please don't open it here.
Why not? What have you hidden in it?
I can't open this.
Chaddha! ‐ Chopra!
Your Diwali has finally begun. Your deity has finally appeared.
Happy Diwali.
Chopra is here. When did you grow this bush?
It's not a bush. It's a magnet.
A magnet that attracts women towards me.
Watch this. Hello, cutie.
She walked away.
Chaddha, your office is full of frigid bores.
Yeah, dude.
But we gotta do something about it.
Cheers! ‐ Come on, have it.
Let the games begin!
Let's party! ‐ Liquor is here!
Drink. ‐ Come on, drink up. Pour some for me.
Yo, Kitty baby.
Hey, where are you? ‐ Excuse me!
Hey, you cheap Romeo.
I'll slap you, you disgusting sleazeball!
Kitty baby, I'm very lonely.
Do a little dance with me.. ‐ How you dare..
What are you doing, Prem? Bad boy..
I'm not a bad boy, but a killer.
I'm a killer..
Come here. ‐ Sir, you talk some sense into his head
otherwise, I'm going to call animal control.
He misbehaved with Pammi as well.
Sorry, he's a little drunk. ‐ And he has eaten onions, too.
Here you go. ‐ Thank you.
Show me that step you were doing. ‐ What step, sir?
It was too good. ‐ You mean the Chameli step?
Yes. ‐ It's like..
Saving your killer dance moves for the end?
You mean my famous cobra dance?
Yeah, cobra dance. ‐ Well, speaking of saving.
How did you get it? ‐ Exchange.
I convinced T. P.
that his mother would look like Mother India in that cotton saree.
Wow. Great.
Let's find out what's in it.
The key you are using to open it is for my drawer.
Here's the real key.
Smart, Amit.
What's this?
Dara Singh.
It's very cute. ‐ And..
There's a note, too.
I have written it for you, so..
Pammi..
Pammi. I heard everyone got a gift.
What did you get? ‐ Amit's gift.
Amit's gift? Let me take a look.
What's in the note? ‐ Nothing.
You know, it has a chocolate, too.
Chocolate?
The chocolate's mine.
Rajinder, I've got some sweets here.
Parmeet, what are you doing? ‐ It's the return gift.
Thank you, Amit. Thank you.
What's in the note?
It's nothing.
Cheers!
Happy Diwali. ‐ Happy Diwali.
Hello, Camera ji.
Take a picture of mine, too.
Bansal Tents and Events.
Hi.
What.. What do you do, sir?
He's here, too!
What are you drinking? Beer? Let's exchange.
Wish you a very happy Diwali.
Sweets. ‐ What?
Come on. Chaddha, happy Diwali!
Come.. ‐ I pulled a muscle.
Somebody, save me!
Vinod Bansal. ‐ Parmeet.
I'm the proprietor of Tent.. Vinod Bansal. ‐ Happy Diwali.
Happy.. Bansal.
God bless all.
Happy Diwali, all.
Happy Diwali, Saleem ji.
Bhadoria, the remaining beer in the carton
will you put it in my car?
Sure, sir. ‐ Yes. Happy Diwali, sir.
Happy Diwali.
Is it done, Bhadoria? Yes? Come.
Sir, these many bottles are left.
Shall we go, sir? ‐ Yes.
Listen..
What gift did you finally get?
Nothing fancy, sir. I got a pen stand.
Will you exchange?
Are you serious? ‐ Yes.
Thank you, sir.
Okay.. Listen to me. ‐ Sir, you're great.
Let me tell you a joke.
Once upon a time, Santa Singh and Banta Singh..
Let me help you.
On the festival of Diwali, people worship money.
But they forget that life's not all about money.
This festival is all about connecting hearts
and spreading happiness.
By the way, I have read somewhere
that microwave cooking causes cancer.
So, happy Diwali.