1
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,320
Amit.
‐ Sir.

2
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,000
Did you see my message?
‐ Which message, sir?

3
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,960
Check your WhatsApp.
It's important.

4
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,840
'Santa and Banta met Savita Bhabhi.'

5
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,680
Pure smut, buddy.

6
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,840
One more classic joke
by Chaddha sir

7
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,400
on the Mutton Chicken group.

8
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:10,840
Very nice.

9
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,000
My designation in this office
is CFO.

10
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,960
Chief Fun Officer.

11
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,240
As far as work is concerned,
it never stops.

12
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,200
But it is more important
to keep the staff happy.

13
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,840
That's why
I started this WhatsApp group.

14
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,960
Just to share jokes
with the boys.

15
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,680
Ladies? Why would they need jokes?

16
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,440
They cheer up at
the very sight of me.

17
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,560
'Girlfriend asked, 'Until when
are you going to love me?'

18
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,360
'I replied,
'Till my wife gets to know.'

19
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,600
It's funny because Chaddha sir
neither has a girlfriend

20
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,680
nor a wife.

21
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,000
T.P.

22
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,160
Why did you send this 'bull protection'
message on the group?

23
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,600
Sir, we may worship cows.
But what about bulls?

24
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,280
Both should be protected.

25
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,720
That's why our motto
is bull protection

26
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,120
because why should <i>gai's</i>
have all the fun?

27
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,160
T.P., this group is for jokes

28
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,600
and not for your agendas.

29
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:04,000
Shove the agendas up your..
‐ Chaddha!

30
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,320
Chopra!

31
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,840
Chopra who! I'm your mother's husband!
Father of your kids!

32
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,080
Mother's husband!

33
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,400
He is blushing.
My child bride!

34
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,640
Hey, stud.

35
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,000
Did you find any beauty

36
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,800
or are you still riding solo?

37
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,520
'Riding'!

38
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,480
Look at the way he is staring.
He is eyeing the boys now.

39
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,480
Everybody, save yourself!

40
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,480
Prem Chopra. My friend.

41
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,280
We've done some crazy things
together.

42
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,920
Once we met two foreigners
near India Gate.

43
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,720
Those women were so hot, bro.

44
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,280
We wooed them.

45
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,920
Then we went to their hotel,
which was in Paharganj.

46
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,320
And then till their room.

47
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,640
And then Chopra took them
inside the room.

48
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,440
And I.. I went back home
and watched a film on TV.

49
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,720
'Sooryavansham'.

50
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:53,800
Did you hear?

51
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,760
You know the CFO of
the Mumbai office, Sable? ‐ Yes.

52
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,040
He resigned.
I don't know why.

53
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,120
Don't you know?
‐ No.

54
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,040
He was sending hot messages
to his secretary.

55
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,120
Is it? ‐ Yes. 'Come, baby.
Let's have cocktail.'

56
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,280
'Cocktail!'

57
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,240
He thought that she loves jokes.

58
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,720
The secretary
turned out to be smart.

59
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,840
She forwarded all the messages
to the HR. That's it.

60
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,440
Yes. His balls were crushed

61
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,160
right in front of his wife and kids.

62
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,040
I tell you
women are really wretched.

63
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,840
You are impossible.

64
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,280
There are ladies here.
Speak softly.

65
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,160
Okay. Can't they hear
if I speak loudly?

66
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,440
Chopra is not a bad person.

67
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,560
I mean, if he is on fire
and I have water

68
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,840
I would drink that water
and go get some kerosene.

69
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,640
Chaddha, listen.
‐ Yes.

70
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,040
Send someone along with me
to drive my car. ‐ Why?

71
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,000
The cops have seized my licence.

72
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,600
You won't change, man.

73
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:51,960
Sapan.

74
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,240
Will you go with him?

75
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,560
Of course you'll go. Come on.

76
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,160
Good that you are not
sending a girl.

77
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,840
I am not in a mood to bang
or get banged today.

78
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,240
Hey, sexy! How are you?

79
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,560
Come, let me show you

80
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,280
how to clean a car
with a condom.

81
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,120
Chopra, dude.
This man can do anything.

82
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,280
Except quit alcohol.

83
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,320
So, your aunt is just like you.

84
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,000
Crazy.

85
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,960
Hey! Mind your tongue.

86
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,680
My Aunt Binu is coming
from Rohtak today.

87
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,120
She is a bit old‐school
but very cool.

88
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,280
She told me over the phone
that she'll be here by evening.

89
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,040
Aunty wants to meet everyone
in the office. ‐ Good.

90
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,600
Anyway, there are many things
about you that I want to ask her.

91
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,800
Okay. Like what?

92
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,400
Like when she was asked as a kid

93
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,040
what would you like
to be when you grow up

94
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,680
was Pammi's answer
receptionist or something else?

95
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:51,840
Nurse?

96
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:53,760
Teacher?

97
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,360
Amit, no.
‐ No?

98
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,040
No.
‐ Beautician.

99
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,480
No. Dietician.

100
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,360
Come in.
‐ Jagdeep, two minutes.

101
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,000
Madhukar, there's still time for Diwali

102
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,800
and I can't sanction
the rangoli colours right now.

103
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:15,960
Sit down.

104
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,320
Madhukar is in HR.

105
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,720
Well, he works in this office.

106
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,440
But, in reality, he is a spy
for the head office.

107
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,760
There might be a police case
against Sable. ‐ So?

108
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,320
HO has given orders

109
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,480
to conduct sexual harassment
workshops in all the branches

110
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,640
before the media
gets to know this matter.

111
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,800
Which means you will teach people
how to harass girls for free.

112
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,800
Unbelievable. HR.

113
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,760
Jagdeep, this isn't a joke.

114
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,120
We will conduct workshops.

115
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,400
All communications in office
will be monitored.

116
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,840
Even that WhatsApp group
of yours.

117
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,400
What? You rascal..

118
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,720
You are going to spy
on my non‐veg group?

119
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,720
Not spying, Jagdeep.. ‐ Do you
even know why I do all this?

120
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,520
So that people come
to work happily.

121
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,200
Look, Jagdeep.. ‐ So that
they can be happy while working.

122
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,960
Do you want to take away
this happiness from them?

123
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,320
What do these poor people have
except for my jokes?

124
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,840
The company has given this order,
Jagdeep.

125
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,320
Even this phone of yours
is given by the company.

126
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,160
So, please. Add me in that group.

127
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,880
People like Madhukar
will never understand.

128
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,720
Cracking jokes is an art.

129
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,480
Like yesterday,
someone in the lift said

130
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,000
'Press two.'

131
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,200
So, I replied at
that very moment

132
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,560
'That's what she said!'

133
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,880
What do you mean?
Didn't you get it?

134
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,320
It's a great double‐meaning joke.

135
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,680
It can fit anywhere.

136
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:31,920
Like someone says

137
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,480
'Chaddha sir,
you never get tired.'

138
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,720
'That's what she said!'

139
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,520
'Woah! It's so big!'

140
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:39,840
'That's what she said!'

141
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,080
In this fight for freedom of expression

142
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,520
the office staff has
turned out to be useless.

143
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,280
That is why I'm going
to the warehouse.

144
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,040
Today, we will have to picket
against the HO.

145
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,200
Hey. Don't be scared.

146
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,920
I am with you.
Come on.

147
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,480
Come. Come.

148
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,000
Hey, Rajinder, Parmeet.. and pal!

149
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,600
What's up?

150
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,040
You tell us.

151
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,520
HO wants to delete our WhatsApp
group. ‐ Is it?

152
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,120
Tell me. Can a man be happy
without non‐veg?

153
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,480
No, right?
‐ You are right, sir

154
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,320
for the first time in your life.

155
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,440
Even that is a joke.

156
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,800
Rajinder, you are the one

157
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,320
who understands me well.

158
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,840
So, shall we have some
mutton‐chicken over here?

159
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:30,960
Yes, why not, sir?

160
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,320
Chaddha sir, tell me something.

161
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,360
Did you do some course
after growing up

162
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,240
or were you this gay
since childhood?

163
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,200
First joke on me.

164
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,280
It's okay. I mean,
it was just a joke.

165
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,840
Chaddha sir, what are you doing?
‐ What happened?

166
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,840
His fly is open.
Everybody, close your eyes.

167
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,680
One more joke.

168
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,640
So what if it is open?
There is nothing inside.

169
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,000
Are you going to make
all your jokes on me?

170
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,320
Try a few on yourself too. I mean..

171
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:07,920
I mean..

172
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,600
Chaddha sir,
this is just the beginning.

173
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,680
Golu, have you seen
Chaddha sir's thumb? ‐ No.

174
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,200
You must have seen.
‐ I have.

175
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,800
It is double the size
of his dick.

176
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,800
Hey, hey, hey.

177
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,960
Are you talking about
the length or the girth?

178
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,120
I don't know!

179
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,960
One minute. Hello.
I got a call.

180
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,080
I'll be back.

181
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,000
Where are you going?
‐ Chaddha sir!

182
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:42,120
Chaddha!
He must have wet his pants.

183
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,680
Yes!

184
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,640
Sexual harassment.

185
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,360
Everything that makes
the opposite sex uncomfortable

186
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,200
is prohibited.

187
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,440
It could be a sexist comment,
a personal message

188
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,560
or a joke.

189
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,640
Sir, Internet chats are safe, right?

190
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,040
Not at all.

191
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,120
You can get suspended
if you send a vulgar message.

192
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,680
You can't crack a joke
on someone's body.

193
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,640
So, we can't even say
'Sarla <i>ji</i>'s two BHK'?

194
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,800
What?
‐ What's there to say?

195
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,200
Come for a cup of tea some time.

196
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,360
My two BHK is no less than a palace.

197
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,360
I think I should tell you
a few dos and don'ts.

198
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:23,960
Don'ts.

199
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,000
To comment on a girl's clothes,
saying personal things to her..

200
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,040
Madhukar <i>ji</i>,
does this rule apply to all women?

201
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,240
Of course.

202
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,040
Even if she eats chow mein?
‐ Yes.

203
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,120
And momos?

204
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,680
Because the entire world knows

205
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,880
that women who eat
Chinese food are not pure.

206
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,520
So, what is the right way
to behave with them?

207
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,640
Listen to me, T. P.
Stay away from all girls.

208
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,720
And don't bother looking
at other people's plates.

209
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,120
What?

210
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,880
This way, I'll be celibate forever.

211
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,400
Next. Pornography.

212
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,240
To share pornography in office

213
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,760
watching it yourself
or showing it to someone else

214
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,080
is strictly forbidden.

215
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,200
Not even the cartoon ones?

216
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,280
Asking for a friend.

217
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,600
Not at all.

218
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,720
Tell your friend to never do it.

219
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,480
Why not?

220
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,240
HO is saying
laughing is forbidden.

221
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,400
You are saying
talking is forbidden.

222
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,080
Tomorrow, someone is going to say
that touching is forbidden.

223
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:23,840
What?

224
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,120
Jagdeep, you can't touch someone
without his or her consent.

225
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,720
Oh, okay.

226
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,480
Sir, what you were saying
about sexist things?

227
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,960
Does that apply to dartboards?

228
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:37,960
What do you mean?

229
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,560
Sir, you should
go to the pantry and check.

230
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,080
On the dartboard there,
Chaddha sir has put up

231
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,720
a half‐naked picture
of an actress.

232
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,240
What is wrong with that?

233
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,200
Everyone's aim has improved.

234
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,840
They throw two darts
instead of just one.

235
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,680
First, left and then right.

236
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,400
Yes, Pammi.

237
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,280
Sir, my aunt is coming
from Rohtak today.

238
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,360
So,
I request everyone

239
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,320
not to say such things
in front of her, please.

240
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:11,280
Yes.

241
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,760
Especially, Chaddha sir.

242
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,000
Me?

243
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,240
What did I do?

244
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,280
Sir, you call me
different names every day.

245
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,920
Sometimes, 'Useless Pammi'.
‐ Yes.

246
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,040
Sometimes, 'Pammi,
my children's mummy'.

247
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,320
Jagdeep,
this behaviour is just not right.

248
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,480
What do you mean?

249
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,680
Can't I joke around with my staff?

250
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,240
Usually,
Chaddha sir is a gentleman.

251
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,160
He never talks to anyone
disrespectfully.

252
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,640
But he has one weird habit.

253
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,680
He names women after fruits.

254
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,280
Like muskmelon,
watermelon, orange, mango.

255
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,440
Those pointy mangoes seem
very funny to him.

256
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,320
I don't know why.

257
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,400
This is not funny.

258
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,680
How do you know what's funny?

259
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,320
You only know how to irritate.
These HR people.

260
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,880
I can say the same thing
about your disgusting one‐liners.

261
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,680
Hello, my one‐liners
deserve a Nobel prize.

262
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,680
Sir, Bharat Ratna.

263
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,520
And not one‐liners but jokes.

264
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,040
Bloody illiterate.

265
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,840
That is why I don't
tell you my jokes.

266
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,040
Is it? You don't want
to tell me your jokes.

267
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,000
Then why do you blabber them out
loud in the office?

268
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,760
'Blabber'?
‐ Yes, blabber.

269
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,640
What do I blabber?

270
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,920
The same 'that's what she said'
that you keep saying.

271
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,520
Where is Chaddha?

272
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,840
It's a cheap joke,
which makes only you laugh.

273
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,840
Seriously, Jagdeep.
It is very, very, very hard..

274
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:44,880
That's what she said!

275
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,120
Am I the boss here or not?

276
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,120
Why can't I say what I want to?

277
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,720
Chaddha, you are the boss.

278
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,600
That is why you need to think
before you speak.

279
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,440
Who thinks before speaking?

280
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,280
The real fun is in spontaneity,
right?

281
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,240
Is it? Is that why you
should have full freedom

282
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,040
to crack indecent jokes?

283
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,200
Riya, tell him to censor himself.

284
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,400
Or else, I will have to shut down
his WhatsApp group.

285
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,280
If you want your job,
this group has to go.

286
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,520
Labourer Natha is working hard
under the sun.

287
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,080
Suddenly, his phone buzzes

288
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,240
and, looking at that,
he becomes happy.

289
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,520
And, for two minutes, he forgets

290
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,000
that he is carrying
10 bricks on his head

291
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,280
his old mother is in the hospital

292
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,720
and his sister
is still unmarried.

293
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,760
Only a WhatsApp forward can
give this happiness, right?

294
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,600
This is not just a boys‐only group.

295
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,520
It's the heartbeat of this office.

296
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:50,840
It is a tact to increase
productivity.

297
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,720
Only for male employees?

298
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,520
Yes, because it's not like girls have
a sense of humour.

299
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,040
Chaddha, enough!

300
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,880
You know what happened to Sable.

301
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,600
Do you want to get fired too?

302
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,160
Brothers and their sisters

303
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,840
there won't be any more jokes
in this office.

304
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,640
No one will smile or laugh
looking at their phone.

305
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280
From now on, you will only work here.

306
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,240
And we will only hear landlines ring.

307
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,480
Because HO is deleting
our favourite Mutton‐Chicken group.

308
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,080
One more thing.

309
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,760
I have decided that starting today
I won't crack any more jokes here.

310
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:01,840
Sir.

311
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,560
Not even one?
‐ Not at all.

312
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,600
'That's what she said.'
Not even that one?

313
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,160
No.

314
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,280
Sir, who else will do it
if not you?

315
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,800
Because nobody does it
better than you.

316
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,000
Chaddha sir, it's..

317
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,960
It's very,
very, very, very hard.

318
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,440
That's what she said!

319
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,920
Didn't I tell you
this joke is very funny?

320
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:52,960
It was meant to be said.

321
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,880
That was not funny.

322
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,000
And not even original.

323
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,320
What do I do?
Should I quit my job?

324
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,040
Is that what you want?
‐ Chaddha!

325
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,760
That is why you are after my life
and my amazing sense of humour.

326
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,120
Chaddha, really?
Don't overreact.

327
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,280
We only want you to be
a little more sensitive

328
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,880
towards your employees.

329
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,120
Especially women.

330
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,680
It's for your own good, Chaddha.

331
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,120
What do you mean?
I'm not fired?

332
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,160
No.

333
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,560
Thank God.

334
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:30,640
And..

335
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,880
Add Madhukar to that group, please.

336
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,200
Yes, yes.
I'll do it.

337
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,440
But if he starts sending those good
morning photos, I'll remove him.

338
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:38,960
Inform him.

339
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,120
You won't be able to cross ITO bridge
if you drive like this.

340
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,160
Got it?

341
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,480
Hi, sweetie.

342
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,760
Listen. Never go on a date
with this sexy boy.

343
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,720
He will treat you less
and jerk around more.

344
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,760
I mean the gear.
What did you think, dear?

345
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,440
My license hasn't been
seized by cops.

346
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,000
I can drive my own car.

347
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,920
What do I care? Do I want to die?

348
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,440
Okay, tell me. Where is Chaddha?
Whose pants is he stuck in?

349
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:07,960
Let me check.

350
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,840
I hope he doesn't wet his pants.

351
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,640
What is going on here?
What is going on here?

352
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,320
You are counting numbers.

353
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,840
Madhukar <i>ji</i>.
‐ Yes.

354
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,000
You had said that I can
come to you if I have any doubt.

355
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,160
Yes. Ask me.

356
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,400
This menstrual cycle.

357
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,640
Does it really happen to women

358
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,640
or is it just an excuse
for not going to the temple?

359
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,760
Periods. Periods.

360
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,880
Where does it happen?

361
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,880
Does it happen to all women?

362
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,520
Even actresses?

363
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,440
Madhuri Dixit, Deepika Padukone?

364
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,560
Even Katrina Kaif?

365
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,320
If sex education was compulsory
in this country

366
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,320
I wouldn't have had to answer
these innocent questions.

367
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,000
His wife says,
'I care so much about your dignity'

368
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,440
'that your friends are waiting outside.'

369
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,480
He didn't get it.

370
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:09,840
That's what happens
if you eat dogs.

371
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,720
Aunt Binu!
You are here.

372
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,200
Aunt Binu is my favourite.

373
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,000
She's more like my sister than my mother's.

374
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,680
Okay, tell me something.

375
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,200
Your room would always be a mess.

376
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,880
So, how's this desk so clean?

377
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,080
Because my clothes
aren't here, Aunty.

378
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,840
Sit down.
‐ Here?

379
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,840
Look at this, I have put up
all my artwork here.

380
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:39,840
Okay, this one.

381
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,760
Hey, Aunt Binu!

382
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,400
Parmeet!
‐ Wonderful. Wonderful.

383
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,280
Hey, macho man.

384
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,080
Tell me something.

385
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,760
Has your mother stopped
feeding you butter?

386
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,480
That's why I have called you.
‐ How naughty.

387
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,640
What are you doing here?

388
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,840
Let's go.
Let's go home.

389
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:02,000
At home, Pammi's mom will feed you
some stale curry.

390
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,000
That's her special dish.

391
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,400
It's not stale.
It is freshly made.

392
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,360
We will have that too.

393
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,760
And we will also have your
favourite saffron cashew ice cream.

394
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,120
Wow.
‐ I remember.

395
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,680
Shall we go?

396
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,320
I have 10 minutes of work left.

397
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,320
She's busy.

398
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,320
This is usual.

399
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,880
Let's do this.
I'll wait for you downstairs. Okay?

400
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:24,840
You come soon.

401
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,840
And don't let her stay here
for more than 10 minutes.

402
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,520
Okay.
‐ Okay.

403
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,000
Now, tell me.
Who's Amit?

404
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,840
Aunty!
‐ Tell me.

405
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,800
Don't be so loud.
‐ I'm speaking softly.

406
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,160
Okay, listen to this.

407
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,080
Once a rickshaw driver
saw two sexy girls on one side.

408
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,080
And on the other side,
someone ugly.. like her.

409
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,080
What is her name?

410
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,160
Sarla <i>ji</i>.
‐ Yes.

411
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,120
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

412
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,720
This is wrong.

413
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,840
We should respect women.

414
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,480
Shut up, Chaddha.
What nonsense are you talking?

415
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,360
Not you, Chopra.

416
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,880
Kutty, you can't say such things
about Sarla <i>ji</i>.

417
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,240
He was the one talking.

418
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,280
I just mentioned her name.
‐ Exactly.

419
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,800
You mentioned her name.

420
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,080
Aren't you ashamed?

421
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,960
She is of our mother's age.

422
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,760
Sir, we both are of the same age.

423
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,680
No, not possible. No, ma'am.

424
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,520
Actually, sir, you are just
two and a half months older than me.

425
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,120
The difference is that I got married
and you didn't.

426
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,320
There is one more difference,
Sarla <i>ji</i>

427
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,440
that I am your boss.

428
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,360
And it is my duty to protect you.

429
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,600
Kutty, get lost.
Go and do the accounts.

430
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,400
Okay, teacher.

431
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,960
Wow, Mr. Chaddha.
Wow.

432
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,320
You are the police now.

433
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,720
No, Chopra.
I am the same old me.

434
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,680
Nah! ‐ Chaddha the great,
born on a plate.

435
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,360
Agent of the head office.
‐ No.

436
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,960
Did I say something wrong?

437
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,200
Sarla <i>ji</i> deserves our respect.

438
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:54,840
Isn't it?
‐ Let it be, sir.

439
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,280
How can I just let it be,
Sarla <i>ji</i>?

440
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,680
You are meant to be praised.

441
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,600
Don't worry, sir.

442
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,040
What should I be worried about?

443
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,800
I won't complain against you.
‐ No.

444
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,360
I am not doing this
because I'm scared of the HR

445
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,800
or scared that I'll be
accused of harassment. No.

446
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,160
You are really special, Sarla <i>ji</i>.

447
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,920
Thank you, sir.
‐ Really!

448
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,560
There aren't many women
in the world

449
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,360
who make you erect
automatically.

450
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:20,600
No, I mean..

451
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,800
I meant to say a man stands up
out of respect.

452
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,840
Welcome back, Chaddha!
Welcome back, man!

453
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,200
I thought you had changed.

454
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:33,280
What amazing humour.
It was fun.

455
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,680
Very good.

456
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,560
'Erect automatically'.

457
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,480
Attention!

458
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:42,680
You can ask anyone.

459
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,760
Jagdeep Chaddha respects
ladies so much

460
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,960
that you won't believe.

461
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,200
If my tongue slips
while having fun

462
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,320
don't take it otherwise.

463
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,520
Sarla <i>ji</i> is senior sales officer.

464
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,240
She is old.

465
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,160
There is no chance of
getting an erection looking at her.

466
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,920
It would have been different
if it was Pammi. I mean..

467
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:04,240
What?