Amit. ‐ Sir.
Did you see my message? ‐ Which message, sir?
Check your WhatsApp. It's important.
'Santa and Banta met Savita Bhabhi.'
Pure smut, buddy.
One more classic joke by Chaddha sir
on the Mutton Chicken group.
Very nice.
My designation in this office is CFO.
Chief Fun Officer.
As far as work is concerned, it never stops.
But it is more important to keep the staff happy.
That's why I started this WhatsApp group.
Just to share jokes with the boys.
Ladies? Why would they need jokes?
They cheer up at the very sight of me.
'Girlfriend asked, 'Until when are you going to love me?'
'I replied, 'Till my wife gets to know.'
It's funny because Chaddha sir neither has a girlfriend
nor a wife.
T.P.
Why did you send this 'bull protection' message on the group?
Sir, we may worship cows. But what about bulls?
Both should be protected.
That's why our motto is bull protection
because why should gai's have all the fun?
T.P., this group is for jokes
and not for your agendas.
Shove the agendas up your.. ‐ Chaddha!
Chopra!
Chopra who! I'm your mother's husband! Father of your kids!
Mother's husband!
He is blushing. My child bride!
Hey, stud.
Did you find any beauty
or are you still riding solo?
'Riding'!
Look at the way he is staring. He is eyeing the boys now.
Everybody, save yourself!
Prem Chopra. My friend.
We've done some crazy things together.
Once we met two foreigners near India Gate.
Those women were so hot, bro.
We wooed them.
Then we went to their hotel, which was in Paharganj.
And then till their room.
And then Chopra took them inside the room.
And I.. I went back home and watched a film on TV.
'Sooryavansham'.
Did you hear?
You know the CFO of the Mumbai office, Sable? ‐ Yes.
He resigned. I don't know why.
Don't you know? ‐ No.
He was sending hot messages to his secretary.
Is it? ‐ Yes. 'Come, baby. Let's have cocktail.'
'Cocktail!'
He thought that she loves jokes.
The secretary turned out to be smart.
She forwarded all the messages to the HR. That's it.
Yes. His balls were crushed
right in front of his wife and kids.
I tell you women are really wretched.
You are impossible.
There are ladies here. Speak softly.
Okay. Can't they hear if I speak loudly?
Chopra is not a bad person.
I mean, if he is on fire and I have water
I would drink that water and go get some kerosene.
Chaddha, listen. ‐ Yes.
Send someone along with me to drive my car. ‐ Why?
The cops have seized my licence.
You won't change, man.
Sapan.
Will you go with him?
Of course you'll go. Come on.
Good that you are not sending a girl.
I am not in a mood to bang or get banged today.
Hey, sexy! How are you?
Come, let me show you
how to clean a car with a condom.
Chopra, dude. This man can do anything.
Except quit alcohol.
So, your aunt is just like you.
Crazy.
Hey! Mind your tongue.
My Aunt Binu is coming from Rohtak today.
She is a bit old‐school but very cool.
She told me over the phone that she'll be here by evening.
Aunty wants to meet everyone in the office. ‐ Good.
Anyway, there are many things about you that I want to ask her.
Okay. Like what?
Like when she was asked as a kid
what would you like to be when you grow up
was Pammi's answer receptionist or something else?
Nurse?
Teacher?
Amit, no. ‐ No?
No. ‐ Beautician.
No. Dietician.
Come in. ‐ Jagdeep, two minutes.
Madhukar, there's still time for Diwali
and I can't sanction the rangoli colours right now.
Sit down.
Madhukar is in HR.
Well, he works in this office.
But, in reality, he is a spy for the head office.
There might be a police case against Sable. ‐ So?
HO has given orders
to conduct sexual harassment workshops in all the branches
before the media gets to know this matter.
Which means you will teach people how to harass girls for free.
Unbelievable. HR.
Jagdeep, this isn't a joke.
We will conduct workshops.
All communications in office will be monitored.
Even that WhatsApp group of yours.
What? You rascal..
You are going to spy on my non‐veg group?
Not spying, Jagdeep.. ‐ Do you even know why I do all this?
So that people come to work happily.
Look, Jagdeep.. ‐ So that they can be happy while working.
Do you want to take away this happiness from them?
What do these poor people have except for my jokes?
The company has given this order, Jagdeep.
Even this phone of yours is given by the company.
So, please. Add me in that group.
People like Madhukar will never understand.
Cracking jokes is an art.
Like yesterday, someone in the lift said
'Press two.'
So, I replied at that very moment
'That's what she said!'
What do you mean? Didn't you get it?
It's a great double‐meaning joke.
It can fit anywhere.
Like someone says
'Chaddha sir, you never get tired.'
'That's what she said!'
'Woah! It's so big!'
'That's what she said!'
In this fight for freedom of expression
the office staff has turned out to be useless.
That is why I'm going to the warehouse.
Today, we will have to picket against the HO.
Hey. Don't be scared.
I am with you. Come on.
Come. Come.
Hey, Rajinder, Parmeet.. and pal!
What's up?
You tell us.
HO wants to delete our WhatsApp group. ‐ Is it?
Tell me. Can a man be happy without non‐veg?
No, right? ‐ You are right, sir
for the first time in your life.
Even that is a joke.
Rajinder, you are the one
who understands me well.
So, shall we have some mutton‐chicken over here?
Yes, why not, sir?
Chaddha sir, tell me something.
Did you do some course after growing up
or were you this gay since childhood?
First joke on me.
It's okay. I mean, it was just a joke.
Chaddha sir, what are you doing? ‐ What happened?
His fly is open. Everybody, close your eyes.
One more joke.
So what if it is open? There is nothing inside.
Are you going to make all your jokes on me?
Try a few on yourself too. I mean..
I mean..
Chaddha sir, this is just the beginning.
Golu, have you seen Chaddha sir's thumb? ‐ No.
You must have seen. ‐ I have.
It is double the size of his dick.
Hey, hey, hey.
Are you talking about the length or the girth?
I don't know!
One minute. Hello. I got a call.
I'll be back.
Where are you going? ‐ Chaddha sir!
Chaddha! He must have wet his pants.
Yes!
Sexual harassment.
Everything that makes the opposite sex uncomfortable
is prohibited.
It could be a sexist comment, a personal message
or a joke.
Sir, Internet chats are safe, right?
Not at all.
You can get suspended if you send a vulgar message.
You can't crack a joke on someone's body.
So, we can't even say 'Sarla ji's two BHK'?
What? ‐ What's there to say?
Come for a cup of tea some time.
My two BHK is no less than a palace.
I think I should tell you a few dos and don'ts.
Don'ts.
To comment on a girl's clothes, saying personal things to her..
Madhukar ji, does this rule apply to all women?
Of course.
Even if she eats chow mein? ‐ Yes.
And momos?
Because the entire world knows
that women who eat Chinese food are not pure.
So, what is the right way to behave with them?
Listen to me, T. P. Stay away from all girls.
And don't bother looking at other people's plates.
What?
This way, I'll be celibate forever.
Next. Pornography.
To share pornography in office
watching it yourself or showing it to someone else
is strictly forbidden.
Not even the cartoon ones?
Asking for a friend.
Not at all.
Tell your friend to never do it.
Why not?
HO is saying laughing is forbidden.
You are saying talking is forbidden.
Tomorrow, someone is going to say that touching is forbidden.
What?
Jagdeep, you can't touch someone without his or her consent.
Oh, okay.
Sir, what you were saying about sexist things?
Does that apply to dartboards?
What do you mean?
Sir, you should go to the pantry and check.
On the dartboard there, Chaddha sir has put up
a half‐naked picture of an actress.
What is wrong with that?
Everyone's aim has improved.
They throw two darts instead of just one.
First, left and then right.
Yes, Pammi.
Sir, my aunt is coming from Rohtak today.
So, I request everyone
not to say such things in front of her, please.
Yes.
Especially, Chaddha sir.
Me?
What did I do?
Sir, you call me different names every day.
Sometimes, 'Useless Pammi'. ‐ Yes.
Sometimes, 'Pammi, my children's mummy'.
Jagdeep, this behaviour is just not right.
What do you mean?
Can't I joke around with my staff?
Usually, Chaddha sir is a gentleman.
He never talks to anyone disrespectfully.
But he has one weird habit.
He names women after fruits.
Like muskmelon, watermelon, orange, mango.
Those pointy mangoes seem very funny to him.
I don't know why.
This is not funny.
How do you know what's funny?
You only know how to irritate. These HR people.
I can say the same thing about your disgusting one‐liners.
Hello, my one‐liners deserve a Nobel prize.
Sir, Bharat Ratna.
And not one‐liners but jokes.
Bloody illiterate.
That is why I don't tell you my jokes.
Is it? You don't want to tell me your jokes.
Then why do you blabber them out loud in the office?
'Blabber'? ‐ Yes, blabber.
What do I blabber?
The same 'that's what she said' that you keep saying.
Where is Chaddha?
It's a cheap joke, which makes only you laugh.
Seriously, Jagdeep. It is very, very, very hard..
That's what she said!
Am I the boss here or not?
Why can't I say what I want to?
Chaddha, you are the boss.
That is why you need to think before you speak.
Who thinks before speaking?
The real fun is in spontaneity, right?
Is it? Is that why you should have full freedom
to crack indecent jokes?
Riya, tell him to censor himself.
Or else, I will have to shut down his WhatsApp group.
If you want your job, this group has to go.
Labourer Natha is working hard under the sun.
Suddenly, his phone buzzes
and, looking at that, he becomes happy.
And, for two minutes, he forgets
that he is carrying 10 bricks on his head
his old mother is in the hospital
and his sister is still unmarried.
Only a WhatsApp forward can give this happiness, right?
This is not just a boys‐only group.
It's the heartbeat of this office.
It is a tact to increase productivity.
Only for male employees?
Yes, because it's not like girls have a sense of humour.
Chaddha, enough!
You know what happened to Sable.
Do you want to get fired too?
Brothers and their sisters
there won't be any more jokes in this office.
No one will smile or laugh looking at their phone.
From now on, you will only work here.
And we will only hear landlines ring.
Because HO is deleting our favourite Mutton‐Chicken group.
One more thing.
I have decided that starting today I won't crack any more jokes here.
Sir.
Not even one? ‐ Not at all.
'That's what she said.' Not even that one?
No.
Sir, who else will do it if not you?
Because nobody does it better than you.
Chaddha sir, it's..
It's very, very, very, very hard.
That's what she said!
Didn't I tell you this joke is very funny?
It was meant to be said.
That was not funny.
And not even original.
What do I do? Should I quit my job?
Is that what you want? ‐ Chaddha!
That is why you are after my life and my amazing sense of humour.
Chaddha, really? Don't overreact.
We only want you to be a little more sensitive
towards your employees.
Especially women.
It's for your own good, Chaddha.
What do you mean? I'm not fired?
No.
Thank God.
And..
Add Madhukar to that group, please.
Yes, yes. I'll do it.
But if he starts sending those good morning photos, I'll remove him.
Inform him.
You won't be able to cross ITO bridge if you drive like this.
Got it?
Hi, sweetie.
Listen. Never go on a date with this sexy boy.
He will treat you less and jerk around more.
I mean the gear. What did you think, dear?
My license hasn't been seized by cops.
I can drive my own car.
What do I care? Do I want to die?
Okay, tell me. Where is Chaddha? Whose pants is he stuck in?
Let me check.
I hope he doesn't wet his pants.
What is going on here? What is going on here?
You are counting numbers.
Madhukar ji. ‐ Yes.
You had said that I can come to you if I have any doubt.
Yes. Ask me.
This menstrual cycle.
Does it really happen to women
or is it just an excuse for not going to the temple?
Periods. Periods.
Where does it happen?
Does it happen to all women?
Even actresses?
Madhuri Dixit, Deepika Padukone?
Even Katrina Kaif?
If sex education was compulsory in this country
I wouldn't have had to answer these innocent questions.
His wife says, 'I care so much about your dignity'
'that your friends are waiting outside.'
He didn't get it.
That's what happens if you eat dogs.
Aunt Binu! You are here.
Aunt Binu is my favourite.
She's more like my sister than my mother's.
Okay, tell me something.
Your room would always be a mess.
So, how's this desk so clean?
Because my clothes aren't here, Aunty.
Sit down. ‐ Here?
Look at this, I have put up all my artwork here.
Okay, this one.
Hey, Aunt Binu!
Parmeet! ‐ Wonderful. Wonderful.
Hey, macho man.
Tell me something.
Has your mother stopped feeding you butter?
That's why I have called you. ‐ How naughty.
What are you doing here?
Let's go. Let's go home.
At home, Pammi's mom will feed you some stale curry.
That's her special dish.
It's not stale. It is freshly made.
We will have that too.
And we will also have your favourite saffron cashew ice cream.
Wow. ‐ I remember.
Shall we go?
I have 10 minutes of work left.
She's busy.
This is usual.
Let's do this. I'll wait for you downstairs. Okay?
You come soon.
And don't let her stay here for more than 10 minutes.
Okay. ‐ Okay.
Now, tell me. Who's Amit?
Aunty! ‐ Tell me.
Don't be so loud. ‐ I'm speaking softly.
Okay, listen to this.
Once a rickshaw driver saw two sexy girls on one side.
And on the other side, someone ugly.. like her.
What is her name?
Sarla ji. ‐ Yes.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
This is wrong.
We should respect women.
Shut up, Chaddha. What nonsense are you talking?
Not you, Chopra.
Kutty, you can't say such things about Sarla ji.
He was the one talking.
I just mentioned her name. ‐ Exactly.
You mentioned her name.
Aren't you ashamed?
She is of our mother's age.
Sir, we both are of the same age.
No, not possible. No, ma'am.
Actually, sir, you are just two and a half months older than me.
The difference is that I got married and you didn't.
There is one more difference, Sarla ji
that I am your boss.
And it is my duty to protect you.
Kutty, get lost. Go and do the accounts.
Okay, teacher.
Wow, Mr. Chaddha. Wow.
You are the police now.
No, Chopra. I am the same old me.
Nah! ‐ Chaddha the great, born on a plate.
Agent of the head office. ‐ No.
Did I say something wrong?
Sarla ji deserves our respect.
Isn't it? ‐ Let it be, sir.
How can I just let it be, Sarla ji?
You are meant to be praised.
Don't worry, sir.
What should I be worried about?
I won't complain against you. ‐ No.
I am not doing this because I'm scared of the HR
or scared that I'll be accused of harassment. No.
You are really special, Sarla ji.
Thank you, sir. ‐ Really!
There aren't many women in the world
who make you erect automatically.
No, I mean..
I meant to say a man stands up out of respect.
Welcome back, Chaddha! Welcome back, man!
I thought you had changed.
What amazing humour. It was fun.
Very good.
'Erect automatically'.
Attention!
You can ask anyone.
Jagdeep Chaddha respects ladies so much
that you won't believe.
If my tongue slips while having fun
don't take it otherwise.
Sarla ji is senior sales officer.
She is old.
There is no chance of getting an erection looking at her.
It would have been different if it was Pammi. I mean..
What?