Papa-ji.
Come.
Just a second, Papa. Come.
Papa-ji.
Hello.
Papa-ji, I am yours--
I see. I see.
Satwant Kaur.
The order you placed has arrived at the doorstep.
Papa-ji, I am not the delivery guy.
I am Laddoo.
Laddoo.
But we didn't order laddoos.
Papa, I mean I am Laddoo.
Your long-lost Laddoo. Your son.
The little kid. Remember?
We got separated
when riots broke out at Uncle Gafoor's place.
I am Laddoo.
Are you serious?
Hold on.
Wait. Let me see.
Sukhi.
Sukhi?
Sukhwinder.
Am I Sukhwinder Singh?
You are my Sukhi.
I am Sukhi.
Son, we even named our house after you.
-Registered and all. -Sukhi Niwas.
A thousand thanks to you, God.
Isn't that a million thanks, Papa-ji?
You see, son,
God has a special quality.
He is never greedy.
He is not interested in number games.
-I see. -Okay, then.
-I will leave. -Why? Who is she?
Papa-ji, she is Pihu.
Your future daughter-in-law.
Bravo, son.
She is pretty cultured.
Pihu, lift your veil. Show your face.
He is my Papa-ji.
If I take the veil down, I'll be royally screwed.
Pihu, mind your tongue in front of my father.
That reminds me,
let me call your mother.
I...
I have a mother?
Son, every guy in this world has a mother.
You do too.
Satwant Kaur.
Yes.
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
Come here. Hurry up. Hurry up.
Look at him.
-Who is he? -Don’t you recognise him?
Same to same features,
same to same mouth.
He is our lost son, Sukhi.
He...
He is my son!
He is Sukhi!
Sukhi! Sukhi!
Sukhi! Sukhi, my child.
Where were you, son?
There is no place where we didn't look for you.
Where didn't you look, Mom?
Trying to be funny with your mom.
Trying to be funny.
Kartar, see...
Who is she?
She is your future daughter-in-law.
-Really? -Yes.
My daughter-in-law!
Two reasons to celebrate in a single day.
Look how cultured she is.
Covering her face.
But there are some characterless girls in this world,
who try to forcefully kiss the doctor in his clinic.
What gall! Even I have never kissed him.
She won't do anything like that.
Pihu, stop playing games.
-Show your face to my mother. -Don't yell at her, son.
She feels shy.
It's her values.
Child.
At least show your face to me. I am his mother.
God.
She is so cute, Sardar-ji..
What a cute daughter-in-law.
God save you from evil eyes, child.
Come, son. Let's go inside. Come on.
No, I better leave.
It's dark. Popsi must be waiting for me.
What's wrong with you?
It's daytime.
It's hard to judge from under this veil.
It's dark in here.
See you then.
See you? The car is over there...
-She left. -Son, we should leave too.
To the Gurdwara to thank the Lord.
We got our son back.
♪ Raamkalee, Third Mehl ♪
♪ Anand, One Universal Creator God By the grace of the True Guru ♪
♪ I am in ecstasy, O my mother ♪
♪ For I have found my True Guru ♪
♪ I have found the True Guru With intuitive ease ♪
♪ And my mind vibrates With the music of bliss ♪
♪ The jewelled melodies And their celestial harmonies ♪
♪ Have come to sing the Word of the Shabad ♪
♪ The Lord dwells Within the minds of those ♪
♪ Who sing the Shabad ♪
♪ Says Nanak, I am in ecstasy ♪
♪ For I have found my True Guru ♪
♪ O my mind ♪
♪ Remain always with the Lord ♪
♪ Remain always with the Lord O my mind ♪
♪ And all sufferings will be forgotten ♪
Bro, here are your new credentials.
Sukhwinder Singh.
Half the press in the world are busy printing your credentials.
Why couldn't you give me this in the car?
I have no pockets. Keep it.
-Come, Papa, Mummy. -Welcome.
Chaupala sir.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
My potential son-in-law's
third and potentially last parents.
Pihu will be here shortly.
Come on. Come.
Come.
Well, I believe,
for two families to come together,
it's necessary to copulate.
Am I right, Mrs. Satwant?
You deserve a slap for this.
Oh, no, no. You see, sir,
my boss's vocabulary is slightly off-kilter.
Sir, it's not "copulate." He means it's "fate."
But isn't that a type of sweet?
That's "dessert."
"Dessert" is what we do in the morning.
That's a "morning jog", sir.
Are you serious?
"Jog" is what I call you.
That's a "dog", sir.
Isn't "dog" what we do on the wedding night?
Right. That's "copulate", sir.
Oh, my bad, my bad.
Sorry, my bad.
What is wrong with him?
Toilet: A Strange Story.
It was a sad tragedy.
Tragedy, is it?
But that is a serious condition.
Doesn't matter.
Extracting tragedy and transplanting comedy
is Dr. Kartar Singh's speciality.
Come down to my clinic.
Once I am done treating you,
you will abandon your wheelchair to become a stand-up comedian
This is amazing! This is terrific!
He kicked!
So far, he was alive and winking.
Now he's alive and kicking.
Bravo, Sardar-ji.
Pihu, where are you?
Come here.
Good God.
Satwant.
Behind the veil last time.
Behind the veil this time.
All time behind the veil.
Values, Kartar.
You've imbibed good values in your daughter.
We didn't.
I wonder where she got them from.
Right, stop playing games now.
Unveiling the bride is necessary.
Satwant, I can't see her face.
Why do you want to see her face?
I have seen it.
But a final check is necessary.
You are so stubborn, Kartar. It's okay, child.
Show your face for your father-in-law's sake.
Yes, go ahead.
We are tired of walking in circles.
Going in circles is making us dizzy.
He won't do anything. He won't harm you.
Come on, show him your face. Let's end this.
Show it. What a beautiful--
He is happy.
Mister, this wedding is cancelled.
Time out. Time out. Nothing happened.
Come here, Papa-ji.
Please don't mind.
But now you deserve a slap.
What do you mean the wedding is cancelled?
This girl is "ugh".
I know she's cute. It's why I am marrying her, Papa-ji.
Not cute. She's "ugh".
-Bad. -Bad?
-Immoral. -Immoral?
In medical terms, as a doctor, what should I say?
I mean, she is evil.
-Evil, her? -Yes, son.
She was all over me.
-Where all over you? -She is nasty, lusty,
-and without GST. -Mom, come here.
She is the same girl who came to my clinic
and tried to kiss your papa.
-Kiss? What is he saying? -Yes.
Are you serious, Sardar-ji?
Is she that witch?
Are you two drunk?
Pihu, come here.
What are they... Defend...
Defend yourself. Hurry up.
-What are they saying? -Let me explain.
Popsi says that
fathers are important in a family.
And Sahil aka Sadiq aka Sukhi's father is you.
I couldn't think of a better way
to judge your character.
I am sorry, mom-dad.
But I just wanted to show my father
that my father-in-law's character is A1.
You were testing him.
Papa-ji, she was testing you.
You passed with flying colours.
Son, I never got such a good score.
Hello. If your meeting is over,
let's hear the results.
It's nothing. East, west, north, south, all good.
Well, there's a new twist in the story.
They can get married now.
Very nice.
♪ When I saw you ♪
♪ For the first time ♪
♪ I couldn't take my eyes off you ♪
♪ I saw the spark in you ♪
♪ Thought I should tell you ♪
♪ I am all yours now ♪
♪ The slight intoxication in the air ♪
♪ I am losing my heart ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love with you ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love with you With you, with you ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
♪ Losing count of my days ♪
♪ I stayed up all night ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love with you ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love with you ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
So?
The bomb's in place, Mr. Malik.
When we dial the number,
it will activate the bomb.
And then bang.
"Bang"?
What's "bang"?
The sound of an explosion?
That's "boom".
It's "bang".
Explosions are "boom".
-It's "bang". -"Boom."
What's the number?
You would know. You purchased the SIM.
But I told you to save the number.
-I did. -Where?
On the phone that's attached to the bomb.
Number. Number. Got to save the number.
Why is it so dark in here?
Little brother, you are dead meat now.
Celebrate all you want, son.
♪ Let's find a wedding date ♪
♪ It's a match made in heaven ♪
♪ Do what your heart says ♪
♪ So go-go with the flow ♪
♪ Say what's on your mind ♪
♪ No one knows What the future has in store ♪
♪ I am out of my mind ♪
♪ I am slightly crazy, insane ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love with you ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
♪ I wanna fall in love ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
Mattress Emporium.
Aadmi, this is for you.
Stop the car, Malik sir. We are too close.
You were right, Malik sir.
Bombs explode with a "boom", not a "bang".
Uh-huh.
Who is that guy,
who didn't give me a second look?
By God,
what is this I'm hearing about you two?
I don't know what you heard about us,
but you sound familiar.
Yes, sounds familiar to me as well.
Your lives have become hopeless.
All because of Sahil, aka Sadiq aka Sukhi.
You two are trying to kill him, aren't you?
-Yes. -I knew something was fishy.
How do you know?
I'm a Kapoor nurse. I keep tabs on the entire industry.
But what will you gain from killing him, uncle?
He took what was
-precious to you two. -Yes.
So, you take what's precious to him.
What precious thing?
Oh, God. His girlfriend.
-Pihu? -Whatever.
She makes sense.
But, you know what,
the most precious thing in that SSS' life
is not the girl. It's his father.
And our revenge will be complete when we kill his father.
Hello, knock-knock.
Listen--
Your job is done. Leave.
Go have an affair with a male nurse.
Get out.
You two are making a big mistake.
No.
We'll need his father for the sacrifice.
Trying to get the feel.
I feel it.
Me too.
Doctor, you said bananas
will stop my loose motions.
Very good.
So, did it stop your loose motions?
It did.
But it starts again as soon as I take it out.
Hello. I am Dr. Kartar Singh.
Specialist in feeling, healing,
and dealing with my dear patients.
-What is your problem? -This one looks ugly.
I don't have pain in my knees that you're suggesting this.
Show me something nice, something with diamonds.
Madam, I showed you every box in the store.
What else can I show you?
What is that?
That box is still unopened.
Must be something in it. Show me.
That's my lunch box, madam.
Your father hasn't shown up yet.
He must be busy at the clinic.
Show me more shoes.
I tried calling him as well, but his phone is switched off.
Yes, brother?
Brother?
I was your brother,
but not anymore.
Now listen to me carefully.
I have breaking news for you.
There was a popular dialogue in the '80s.
Your father is in my custody.
What?
What are you saying? Which father?
The first one was not your original father.
The second one is dead.
I have your third teddy bear-type father,
Kartar Singh.
Kartar Singh?
-Papa-ji! -Yes.
Come save him if you can.
I'll send you the location pin.
Brother, the film is about to start.
Hurry up. Want to hear the trailer?
What are you...
Hello? Hello!
Don't do that.
What happened to your papa?
My old brother kidnapped my new father.
Let's go. I am so confused.
Let's go.
Madam, shoe!
Careful.
Kartar! Kartar!
It's a skeleton.
There he is.
-Malik, you too? -Yes, me.
Sukhi, you ended my Aadmi.
And my political career.
Now we'll end your father in front of your eyes.
No, no, please don't.
What chaos is this?
What happened?
The entire WhatsApp group is here.
Sahil.
Look. Everyone is here.
Papa.
So many people have come.
Our show is houseful, Balwan.
You are dead meat, Kartar.
No, no, let him go.
No, no, no.
Please, brother.
Hey...
Curse you two.
May you two rot in hell.
Who do you think you are?
You dingbats.
Baboons.
Hey, Crazy Mother.
Don't just stand there and enjoy the show.
Tell them the story about you, me,
and Sukhi correctly.
They are itching to kill Sukhi's father.
Come down here and tell them,
if they want to kill Sukhi's father,
then they should leave me alone.
Because I am not Sukhi's father.
I am not his father.
Not his father!
♪ Trucks have horns ♪
♪ Movies have John ♪
♪ Even Go Goa has Gone ♪
♪ Kidney has stones ♪
♪ Trucks have horns Movies have John ♪
♪ Go Goa has Gone Kidney has stones ♪
♪ Dogs have a bones ♪
♪ Sarees have chiffon ♪
♪ Karachi has a don ♪
♪ But who...who... who is my pop? ♪
You are not my father either?
Are you not my mother?
Don't say such things, son.
I am your mother.
My original mother,
please tell me who my original father is.
Can we talk in private?
No, no.
You guys will cook up a story.
Even the United Nations wants to know
who his original father is.
You have to tell us now.
We want to know.
-Even we want to know. -Yes. Tell us.
-Tell us. -Fine. Fine.
Son, your original father's name is
Anthony Comesalves.
Anthony Comesalves?
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪
♪ Who is my pop? ♪
♪ Who is my daddy? ♪