1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:02,720 Whoa... is that like a uh, Van Gogh? 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,120 Nah, nah Hank. It's this girl on Etsy, 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,120 she does these like, hysterical pet portraits. 4 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,800 I had her do one of Tammy s old dog Rollins for her birthday. 5 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,800 Oh man that is hysterical, Mark. 6 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,800 Tammy's gonna love it. 7 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,360 Yeah, I know. I thought so, too. 8 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,400 But then I found out some surgeon she works with 9 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,680 got her a freakin $200 gift card to some fancy spa. 10 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,240 Yo, that's no good, Mark. He's clearly trying to bang her. 11 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,800 I know, right! Who the hell does this 12 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,040 creep think he is, getting my 13 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:28,080 wife some overpriced woo woo yoga crystal massage BS? 14 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,800 Ooh, that does sound kinda nice. 15 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,280 Yo this guy's good, okay? 16 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,880 She's gonna be all oiled up, getting rubbed down, 17 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,080 all while thinking about that doctor. 18 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,320 If you don't wanna get cucked here, 19 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,200 you gotta get her something real special. 20 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,920 Mimi go uppie. Mimi go uppie! Let's go, come on, uppie? 21 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,480 Never gonna happen, Jinglebells! 22 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:44,320 Could you not? 23 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,920 I'm trying to build her self-esteem. 24 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,280 I think she's a little insecure around the 25 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,640 poodles at Doggy Daycare. 26 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:49,800 David, let me ask you something. 27 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,680 How would you feel if some dude at Andrea s 28 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,560 work got her a $200 spa card? 29 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,920 Great. She deserves it. She works really hard. 30 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,880 Mark, you're asking a guy who's getting alpha d by 31 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,200 a fricken foo foo dog. 32 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,440 I'm not being alpha d. 33 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,400 I'm being a "supportive girl dog dad". 34 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,840 I want her to feel dominant. 35 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,560 You know Mark, uh, maybe you should surprise 36 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,640 Tammy with a new puppy. 37 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,280 Nah, nah, nah, don't get her a dog. 38 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,000 If you really want to knock her socks off, 39 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,520 you should get her an exotic pet. 40 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,280 The only thing women love more than an exotic pet 41 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,280 is a man who knows how to handle an exotic pet. 42 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,520 Oh, hell yeah! 43 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,280 Hank... we're goin to the sketchy zoo! 44 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,040 Now this is how you zoo. 45 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,280 There's no rules. You got the real plastic straws, you 46 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,320 got these untrained ex-cons working with the animals. 47 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,400 I mean anything could happen at this kind of place, okay? 48 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,840 You can literally see one of these zookeepers 49 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:05,920 get their head ripped off. 50 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,680 Uhh, you sure these animals should be pets, Mark? 51 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,080 Now, Hank, you gotta have the vision with these things, okay? 52 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,040 Dogs weren't pets until someone had the balls to domesticate wolves. 53 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,040 Ooh, what about a baby tiger? 54 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,480 Now that's a cool pet. 55 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,920 Aw, Hank, baby tigers grow up to become big tigers, pal. 56 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,120 Oh, hm. 57 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,600 You know, they should make tigers that stay small like ponies. 58 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,120 Yeah, they're called House Cats. 59 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,560 Yeah, you should get one of those. 60 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,880 Hank, I didn't drive eight hours to an exotic zoo 61 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,240 to buy her a fricken house cat. 62 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,600 I need something that's gonna blow that 63 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,360 spa gift card outta of the water. 64 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,080 Ooo yeah. Monkey time! 65 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,120 Now we're talking. 66 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,000 Oh man. I love a good monkey. 67 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,760 They just always seem so happy. 68 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,440 Tammy would go nuts for a pet like that. 69 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,000 It's like a dog 3.0. 70 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,920 Woah, It's the guy from the sign! 71 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,000 Doc Tropics. Welcome to my zoo. 72 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,560 Yo, this place is incredible. Incredible. 73 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,480 Well, thank you. 74 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,320 Did you happen to catch our junior tiger handler 75 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,600 getting her hand bitten off? 76 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,840 Ooh boy, that was a show! 77 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,440 Aw damn, we missed it, 78 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,840 but you know, we're loving these monkeys you got here. 79 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,920 Oh, yes. They're such majestic creatures. 80 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,560 Let me ask you something. How much uh, 81 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:08,800 one of these things go for? 82 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,760 Chimps usually run around 60 grand. 83 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,280 Whoa, that's no joke. 84 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,840 You think you could do something closer like, 85 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,480 I don't know, three grand or something? 86 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,280 Huh, well I ll tell you what. 87 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,560 I do have one chimp who might fit your budget, 88 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,640 but he's not exactly in mint condition. 89 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,920 Okay, okay. That's not bad, that's not bad. 90 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,960 Yeah he's uh... something. 91 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,560 I think he was used in a few minor medical experiments, 92 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,080 but don't worry, he was mostly in the control group. 93 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,600 Hank, we gotta do this, right? 94 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,000 This thing's a freakin steal! 95 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,360 Yeah, but aren't monkeys like a lot of responsibility? 96 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,360 No, Hank. They're highly intelligent, 97 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,200 self sufficient creatures. Set it and forget it. 98 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,880 You sure Tammy's gonna be into this? 99 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,080 Are you kidding me? She's gonna be through the roof. 100 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,560 What the hell is this? 101 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,320 - It's your new pet monkey! - Happy birthday! 102 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,280 You went and bought a chimpanzee without asking me? 103 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,280 It's called a birthday surprise, Tam! 104 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,480 I thought you wanted a pet. 105 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,360 Yeah, I wanted a dog. 106 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,840 Oh come on, Tam, a dog is a low ceiling pet. 107 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,240 At best it can help a blind person across the 108 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,160 street or smell a bomb on a plane or something. 109 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,840 But a monkey That s a HIGH ceiling pet. 110 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,200 Now just imagine you're watching Summer House Reunion, you got 111 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,560 the monkey, it's wearing a funny little outfit, it's serving you 112 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,000 White Claws, I mean, come on! 113 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,440 That's a dream pet right there. 114 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:21,680 Oh my god! 115 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,320 Relax. It's fine, it's fine, okay? 116 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,520 The guy showed me what to do. 117 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,720 You connect this thing to the nerve thingy here back 118 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,080 here, and you just push until you hear a suction sound. 119 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,080 Boom. All good. 120 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,440 - Ah, crap. - So not only did you buy a chimpanzee, 121 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,640 you bought a sick chimpanzee? 122 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,360 Pfft! Okay, that's all superficial. 123 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,680 This is a fixer upper! 124 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,360 Mark, do you even understand that chimps are like, 125 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,720 way too dangerous to keep as pets? 126 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,160 Like, this is no joke here! 127 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,160 What the hell are you talking about? 128 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,920 They're like the friendliest animals on the planet. 129 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,360 Yeah, until they rip your friggin face off. 130 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,080 Pfft! This little sweetheart? 131 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,000 Get outta here. 132 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,240 I'm going to work, Mark. 133 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,320 When I get back, this chimp better be out of here. 134 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,240 Aw, don't take it personally, monkey. 135 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,000 Damnit, Hank. 136 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,680 Mimi! Mimi, come on. Uppie! 137 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,000 Mimi go uppie! 138 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,200 Uh. It's okay. Maybe we could just take a quick pic? 139 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,800 David... help! 140 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,200 What the hell? Mimi, stay. 141 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,560 Whoa! Ah, um... I'm gonna call 911. 142 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,760 No, no. Don t... call... police. 143 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,840 - Snake is... illegal. - What? 144 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,960 Oh of course it is. Uh... 145 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,960 Wha...wha...what are you doing with that? 146 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,800 I don't know. I was gonna stab it. 147 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,120 Cut its head off or something. 148 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,080 - No! No... - You-- You can't kill it... okay? 149 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,240 This... this thing s worth seventy five grand. 150 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,440 What!? What are you, Britney Spears? 151 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,000 Who the hell owns a $75 000 snake? 152 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,000 Some people enjoy a high end exotic. 153 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,320 Oh, yeah. Seems like you're really enjoying it. 154 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,680 Hey, could you just... friggin ...help me get it off? 155 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,320 You know, maybe if you showed it more affection, 156 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,640 it wouldn't try to kill you. 157 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,080 Here, let me try something. 158 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,960 Aw, there there. I know, 159 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,960 Some people don't understand animals, or anything. 160 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,680 But look, I'm here and you're loved. You're appreciated. 161 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,040 Oh my god. 162 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,200 Okay monkey, we only gotta do this for a little bit 163 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,640 until we can teach you how to use a big boy bathroom. 164 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,920 Come on just let me-- Come on dude, 165 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,240 this is for your own good, okay? 166 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,440 All the pet monkeys on YouTube wear diapers. 167 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,360 Uh, I don't know if he's into this. 168 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,520 Come on, come on. Relax, Hank, okay? 169 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,560 You just gotta establish that I'm the alpha. 170 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,040 Oh my god. 171 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,960 Hey Mark, it ripped your face off. 172 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,240 Yeah, I'm aware, Hank. 173 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,800 Ah, I forgot my keycard. 174 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,640 Oh, crap. Tammy's back. 175 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:37,960 Everything okay in there? 176 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:38,920 All good, hon! 177 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,920 Okay, don't say anything about the face, okay? 178 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,240 The last thing I need is her raking me over the coals right now. 179 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,240 Uh... 180 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,240 Oh my god, it's dead! 181 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,960 I knew that poor thing was sick! 182 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,440 Tammy, it's just taking a nap, okay? 183 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,000 Well, why is it still here? 184 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,520 Relax, we're taking it back, okay? 185 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,080 But not because it s dangerous or rips off faces. 186 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,320 Pfft, Ridiculous. 187 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,560 We're doing it because... 188 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,280 I'm gonna to be the bigger man, I'm going to respect your decision. 189 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,200 Uh... are you okay, Mark? Why won't you look at me? 190 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,800 I'm fine I'm just... I'm trying to... I'm trying to measure... 191 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,640 something... on the wall here... okay? 192 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,200 20 feet... 30 feet... I got the 40 feet... 193 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,320 Okay, this ll be the perfect dimensions for the... 194 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,840 uh for the, uh, wainscoting. 195 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,960 Ah, whatever, Mark. Just get rid of it. 196 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,840 Ok here's the deal. That *** sold us a lemon! 197 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,720 This monkey has fricken rabies or something. 198 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,360 Okay, you're gonna take it back to Doc Tropix 199 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,200 and get a refund, you got it? 200 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,360 You want me to do that like by myself or? 201 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,960 Yes Hank, okay? I gotta go to the hospital and 202 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,960 get my face fixed before Tammy finds out. 203 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,640 Doesn't Tammy work at the hospital? 204 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,080 Won't she uh, see you? 205 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,320 She's not gonna recognize me. I got no face. 206 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,160 I ll just use a fake name. Boom. 207 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Okay, Mr. Rambo. So the good news is your initial 208 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,080 facial reconstruction was a success. 209 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,240 - So my face is good to go? - No, no. 210 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,840 Your face-- how do I put this in layman's terms, is a mess. 211 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,360 We sewed you up and threw on a pair of temporary lips so you 212 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,920 can eat, but you're going to need extensive plastic surgery. 213 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,080 Hold on, hold on, what do you mean temporary lips? 214 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,240 Do I got like some dead guy's lips or something? 215 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,360 - No, no. - Oh okay, cool. Phew! 216 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,800 We used tissue from a pig scrotum. 217 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,800 Alright, the nurse will be in here shortly to remove your bandages. 218 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:18,760 Appreciate it. 219 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,000 - Mr. uh, Rocky Rambo. - Oh, geez. 220 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,320 How are you feeling today? 221 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,280 Hola! No hablo ingl s. 222 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,000 Oh, do you want me to bring in a translator? 223 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,120 Uh, es ok, es ok I... uh, I... understand. 224 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,080 Ok. 225 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,280 So I'm gonna remove your bandages and make sure 226 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,920 everything is healing before the plastic surgeon examines you. 227 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,920 No, no! No, no, I no ready! 228 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,440 - I no ready! - Oh, it's okay. Just hold still. 229 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,520 This ll be quick. 230 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,720 All done, Mr. Rambo. 231 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,600 The plastic surgeon will be in shortly. 232 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,560 You're gonna love him. He's the best. 233 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,440 Aw thanks, Tammy. You're the best. 234 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,960 Happy birthday, by the way. 235 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,280 - Oh thank you. - So, did you get to the spa yet? 236 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,680 Not yet, but I'm very excited. 237 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,720 You should be. The place is incredible. 238 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,920 You're gonna get a facial you ll never forget. 239 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,080 Alright, let's see what's going on here. 240 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,160 Hmm... looks like a clean degloving. 241 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,680 Good news Mr. Rambo, 242 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:20,440 you're a perfect candidate for a new experimental procedure I pioneered. 243 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,600 All we need is a couple pictures of you before the 244 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,400 accident, and then we 3D print stem cells to create an 245 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,040 exact replica of your face. 246 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,800 - Okay, that sounds dumb. - Oh no. 247 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,920 This new treatment will be a game changer for 248 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,560 victims of car accidents, severe burns or even 249 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,960 chimp attacks like yourself. 250 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,160 - Wait. Did you say chimp attack? - Yeah. 251 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,760 Probably not the best idea to keep a chimp as a pet, 252 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,680 - right Mr. Rambo? - Hmm. Hold on... 253 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,000 Oh my god. 254 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,840 Are you frickin kidding me? Mark? 255 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,080 You know Mr. Rambo? 256 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,160 He's my husband. I don't believe it. 257 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,240 I told you that thing was going to rip your face off. 258 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,000 Really? I'm sitting here with no freaking face 259 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,680 and now you're gonna bust my balls about it? 260 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,800 Did you really think I wasn t going to find out that your 261 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,560 whole freaking face is missing? 262 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,320 Listen, I can probably do this procedure right now. 263 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,400 Did you hear that, Mark? You better thank your 264 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,360 lucky stars for Dr. Johnson. 265 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,080 He's gonna do the procedure today. 266 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,360 Nah, I'm good. 267 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,880 What do you mean you're good? 268 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,160 Yeah, I don't need some weird experimental surgery from 269 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,760 this friggin bozo over here. 270 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,680 The hell you don t. Have you seen your face? 271 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,120 Hm. Not bad, actually. I actually think it gives 272 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,000 me a little uh, character. You know what I mean? 273 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,240 Anyway, I got things to do. I ll see you at home, Tam. 274 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,680 Argh... Damnit! 275 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,320 Hello, Hank. 276 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:44,840 What the -?! 277 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:46,800 Monkey! 278 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,800 Ah! Please don't rip off my face! 279 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,200 Relax. Watch road. 280 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,040 Wait a minute. Is that... you? 281 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,720 Are you speaking, Monkey? 282 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,040 - Yes. - What the heck? 283 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,400 Pull over. Gas station. 284 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,520 Uh...okay. 285 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:01,680 Why? 286 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,960 You need gas. 287 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,200 Oh, yeah. 288 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,280 And I need bananas. 289 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,440 I don't see what the big deal is, Tam, okay? 290 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,720 A lot of cool dudes have disfigured faces. 291 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,640 Yeah, like who? 292 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,080 Uh, the Phantom of the Opera. Freddy Krueger. 293 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,240 I don't know if I would consider Freddy Krueger 294 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,720 a cool dude, Mark. 295 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,000 Ok what about the uh, The Kiss From a Rose guy? 296 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,200 Uh, what's his-- Seal! 297 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,880 He's got a messed up face and he was married to Heidi fricken Klum! 298 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,240 He's got a few scars. 299 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,000 Your face looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 300 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:31,920 You know what? 301 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,760 I may be the one with the messed up face, but you re 302 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,600 the one who's unrecognizable. 303 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,320 All the sudden you don t like animals, you're going to fancy 304 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,520 spas, and now you're telling me to get plastic surgery! 305 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,920 You know, no one else here seems to care about my looks. 306 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,360 Yous all ready to order. 307 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,480 Oh god... 308 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,480 I mean... sorry... hi. 309 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,120 Can I start you off with a face? 310 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,200 I mean, uh, can I get you a face? 311 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:59,160 I mean can I face you a drink? I mean-- 312 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,440 Can I just get a tomato soup and a tuna melt? Thanks. 313 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:02,800 You want a face with that? 314 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,280 Sorry, I meant fries. 315 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,120 Do you want fries with that... face? 316 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:09,760 Yeah. 317 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,320 Okay. And do you want that open-faced? 318 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,400 Alright, c mon, enough, alright? 319 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,200 No I actually meant to ask that. 320 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,840 Oh. Ok sure. 321 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,200 Yeah and uh, let me get the number five. 322 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,440 Mark, you got coffee coming out of your cheek. 323 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,360 I ll get you some napkins. 324 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,480 Tam, it's all about attitude, okay? 325 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,160 You see a hole in my face, I see two mouths! 326 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,880 Oh yeah, and it's just what I need on you: two mouths. 327 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,560 Hey, one for talking, one for eating, baby! 328 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,120 Relax, I no rip off face. 329 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,680 You ripped off my brother's face. 330 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,080 He was mean jerk. 331 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,160 You are nice, beta. No threat. 332 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,480 Oh thanks, yeah. 333 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,680 So like uh, when did you get all smart and stuff? 334 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,120 Do not know. 335 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,440 Been in many medical experiments. 336 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,880 I wish I was smart. 337 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,640 Knowledge is suffering. Much I know, I would rather not. 338 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,960 So you excited to get back to your old buddies at Doc Tropixs? 339 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,360 No. They will euthanize me. 340 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,640 What's wrong with that? Don't you want to be young again? 341 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,480 No, that's not what euthanize mean. 342 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,240 They will put me to sleep. 343 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,200 Oh well, rest might be good after these last few days. 344 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,760 No, Hank. Doc Tropixs will kill me. 345 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,720 Wait, what!? Why would he do that? 346 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,480 People no pay see old, broken animal. 347 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,640 I be already dead if you guys did not bang me. 348 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:30,960 Uh... what? 349 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,680 Sorry. Autocorrect. 350 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,600 I d be already dead if you guys did not buy me. 351 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,960 Well if he's gonna kill you, I'm not taking you there. 352 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,240 Is okay, Hank. I am mess. 353 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,080 No family. No troop. Too much time in tiny cage. 354 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,600 Injected with many medicine. I have many disease. 355 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,280 Body hurt. Eyeballs no stay in head. 356 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:52,960 Better for me to end. 357 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,440 Oh I don't know, Monkey. Come on, 358 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,520 there's gotta be something that brings you joy. 359 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,720 There is one thing I ve always want to do. 360 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,480 I get this. 361 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,920 Whoa. Where d you get that? 362 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,720 I take from Doc pocket. Here you take. 363 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,080 I don't know, Monkey. 364 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,080 Consider as refund for broken pet. 365 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,360 I mean Mark did ask me to get his money back. 366 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,040 No give to brother. Money only for Hank. 367 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,880 Yeah but it's Mark's money you know, he paid for you and everything. 368 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,560 For duck's sake Hank, no spend life being used by others. 369 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,880 You gave me best day of life. 370 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,080 You deserve such day yourself. 371 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,320 Whoa, was this really the best day of your life? 372 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:17,720 Yes. Well, up there with time they inject me with MDMA. 373 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,920 I don't think playing dead is working, Jinglebells. 374 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,520 Well, that's because most dead people don't talk! 375 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,760 You got better ideas? 376 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,080 Huh? Maybe call it a snowflake over and over? 377 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,240 Would you chill? 378 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,920 Every time you freak out, it squeezes harder. 379 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,120 Why couldn't you just get a slow loris or a sugar glider? 380 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,160 There's plenty of illegal exotic pets that aren't gonna eat you! 381 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,840 Nah this is just kind of territorial thing, okay? 382 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,800 They rarely eat humans. 383 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:47,920 Seems like it's trying to, it just can't get past your cankles. 384 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,320 Hey! Chronic edema is a serious medical condition. 385 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,400 Okay so what do these things eat? 386 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,360 Mostly small to mid-size animals. 387 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,360 Mimi no! 388 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,720 Yes Mimi! 389 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,200 Yes Mimi! 390 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,120 You go girl! You got it! 391 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,680 Sorry, Mernft. 392 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,560 I know that snake meant a lot to you. 393 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,960 Eh, not really. I was just looking to flip the thing. 394 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,840 Anyway, it is what it is. Life goes on. 395 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,880 Uh... except for the 15 foot deadly snake on the loose? 396 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,040 Nah. That thing will be dead in a day. 397 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,120 Yes Mimi! Hi! Oh, you're such a good girl! 398 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,320 David... 399 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,320 I was thinking, uh, you know, maybe you could come live with me. 400 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,560 I don't know, Hank. 401 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,800 I don't want to be too much trumpet... 402 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,760 - Trouble. - No way, it ll be fun. 403 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,560 Maybe. 404 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,840 Hey, Monkey, uh, wanna get some breakfast? 405 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,640 Hey, Monkey? 406 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,120 Monkey! 407 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,120 Monkey wake up! 408 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,360 Monkey! Monkey, wake up! Monkey, monkey. No! 409 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,960 No Monkey. No. 410 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,760 Ah what the hell, Tam? 411 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,760 Why can't you just love me for who I am, okay? 412 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,200 This is my face now. 413 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:05,800 It's not about your face, Mark. 414 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,240 It's that you can easily fix it and for some reason you won t. 415 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,920 Uh yeah. Because I d rather have a messed up 416 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,840 face than one fixed by Dr. Fifty Shades of. 417 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,360 Grey's Anatomy who is clearly trying to bang you! 418 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,440 Wait a minute I'm sorry, what? 419 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,320 Who the hell gets someone s wife a $200 spa card, okay? 420 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,800 - That's what this is about? - Yeah. It is. 421 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:24,960 What are you doing? 422 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,320 I'm sleeping on the couch so you won't have to look at me. 423 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,520 Damnit. 424 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,480 Mark, what is this? 425 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,000 Eh nothing, it's just some stupid birthday gift 426 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,040 I thought would be funny. 427 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,120 This is HYSTERICAL, Mark! 428 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,680 Yeah it is pretty hysterical, right? 429 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,760 Hon, this is so fricken thoughtful. 430 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,360 Why didn't you just give me this? 431 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,560 I was going to, and then uh... you come in 432 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,320 all excited about Dr. Sleezebag's little card. 433 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,360 Yeah I got 200 dollars, and I'm like forget it, 434 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,280 - I ll get you something else. - Are you kidding me? 435 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,880 This is way better than some stupid spa card. 436 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,160 Besides, 200 bucks is like a 15 minute massage at that place. 437 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,840 But you know what the best gift would be? 438 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,400 I don't know, baby tiger? 439 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,000 Dick's Sporting Goods gift card. 440 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,800 No... I want my husband s handsome face back. 441 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,040 I mean I'm not gonna lie... It was pretty good face eh? 442 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,720 So will you get the damn surgery? 443 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,200 This whole thing is absurd. 444 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,080 Yeah, I guess it is kind of hard to eat wings 445 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,800 with a pig's sack for lips. 446 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,160 Oh, thank God. Come here, you. 447 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:40,680 Wait a minute... 448 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,880 when you say "pig s sack" do you mean... 449 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:44,560 oh, my god. 450 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,760 Well you can always kiss the second mouth. 451 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:47,760 Come on, last chance... 452 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,280 Yeah. No chance. 453 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,720 And here's your banana smoothie. 454 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:03,680 Awesome. 455 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,680 Anything else I can get you, Mr. Hoagies? 456 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,760 Yeah, you know what... Uh... let me get one of them 457 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,080 uh, woo woo yoga crystal massages. 458 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,280 You got it. 459 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,160 Oh yeah. 460 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,680 Whoops. 461 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,960 Hmm.