1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 This is a very desirable area. 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,320 Great community spirit. 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,360 Oh, that's so important for us. 4 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,120 Boffing your own mother's boyfriend! 5 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,600 You're no daughter of mine! 6 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,000 I loved it, Mum, and I'd do him again in a heartbeat! 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,200 You hussy! 8 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,840 Someone's nicked me door again. 9 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,800 Tell me who and I'll batter 'em! 10 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:18,920 It's twice this month. 11 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,120 -This way. -Could be anyone round here. 12 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,440 Oh, we're just getting the morning blaze on. 13 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,680 It's acrid. 14 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,480 Yeah, it's tradition around here, 15 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,120 bin fire every morning. The whole street does it. 16 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,040 Good for the lungs, eh, Gracie? 17 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,040 - Shall we go inside? - Oh, yeah. Come on in, my lovelies. 18 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,000 What happened to your eye? 19 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,320 Oh, some urchin tried to steal my hub caps. 20 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,720 -That's awful. -Yeah. 21 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,280 I mean, you get used to it, don't you? 22 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,960 -Comes with the territory. -Yeah. 23 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,440 You know, we have to go, actually. 24 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,160 Yeah, thanks for your time. 25 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,280 No, er... 26 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,520 -Bye now. -See you. 27 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,800 Nicely played, Ms. Callaghan. 28 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:56,920 I don't know what you mean. 29 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,840 I'm gonna sell this house whether you like it or not. 30 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,360 Okay. Okay. 31 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,320 All right. Well, good luck. 32 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,480 I'll see you soon. 33 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,480 And scene. 34 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Another successful production from the Toni Callaghan Playhouse. 35 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,680 Young Grace did go off script a bit. 36 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,880 Flicked a V at Phil and Kirstie. 37 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,120 Grace, remember, you're Molly from Annie, not the Artful Dodger. 38 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,760 Oh, going inside, are you? 39 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,560 She's so moody at the moment. 40 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,320 Well, she's got a lot on her plate. 41 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,160 She's only had one line and she didn't even say it. 42 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,680 Talking about the baby, the house up for sale. 43 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,480 Oh, God, yeah. That. 44 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,680 Do you know what? 45 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,040 I keep forgetting about them 'cause I'm handling them so well. 46 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,360 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are. -Oye, oye. 47 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,560 Bravo, ladies. 48 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,840 -Yes. -Thank you. 49 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,560 Rana, you are such a convincing slapper. 50 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,000 -I know. -Do you want to, er, come round for breakfast? 51 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,760 Craig's making eggs, as a thank you from me. 52 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,880 Oh, I can't. I'm on an OP with an MMMIY. 53 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,400 An MMMIY? What's that, like, a new department? 54 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,040 Nah. Jason Pickles. 55 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,400 The Most Miserable Man in Yorkshire. 56 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,240 Not an easy crown to claim. 57 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,400 Lots of misery guts in God's own country. 58 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,840 Got my first shift with him today. 59 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,800 Eight hours of... "Hull is a cosmic joke 60 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,480 played by a God who doesn't exist." 61 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,160 Shar! 62 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,000 Oh, my God, you were great! 63 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,520 -Such pain! -Thanks. 64 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:26,760 Craig! 65 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,800 -Bring Shar's gate back! -Will do. 66 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,240 Anytime, Toni. 67 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,200 We renters need to stick together. 68 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,600 Oh, tell me about it. 69 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,120 Insecure housing posse In da house 70 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,120 Till our landlords Try and sell them! 71 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,160 Such a nightmare, honestly. 72 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,680 -All right, no splinters today! -Ah. 73 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,880 Let's get that door back on, Shar. 74 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,200 Oh, Super Craig to the rescue! 75 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,320 My hero. 76 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,240 Aw, Shar's real friendly, isn't she? 77 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,400 -Tone, that ain't friendly. -Yeah. That's flirting. 78 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,840 What? Women don't flirt with Craig. 79 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,920 He got his last pair of trousers from the Middle of Lidl. 80 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,360 It's not about his trousers, love, it's about what's in 'em. 81 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480 And that boy is aging like a fine wine. 82 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,360 -Is Craig aging like a fine wine? -Oh, and that is my cue to leave. 83 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,680 I'm gonna bob the kettle on. 84 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,000 What do you think? 85 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,600 Any notes, Toni? 86 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,480 Bold costume choice, Dane. 87 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,920 What's going on with you two? 88 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,760 We're in a sexual standoff. 89 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,000 I'm not getting another IUD. 90 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,240 He won't get the snip. Stalemate. 91 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,920 Is that why he's got those tiny shorts? 92 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,160 Yeah, he's wearing me down, so I break first, but it won't work. 93 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,200 I can see what you're doing, Dane. 94 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,760 Yeah. I mean, we all can, in those shorts. 95 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,800 Yeah, see you at the next bin fire. 96 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,040 Okay. 97 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,520 Oh, aren't you tall? 98 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,120 -Can you reach that high? -Yeah. Yeah. 99 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,640 -I've got really long limbs. -Oh, that's magic, Craig. 100 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,080 Want me to go a little higher for you? 101 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,480 No, that's the spot. 102 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,840 Keep it there. 103 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,680 No more. This isn't fair. 104 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,680 -We've done the hard years of parenting. -It's true. 105 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,040 Ashley's thriving at college. 106 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,760 Minecraft takes excellent care of Jake. 107 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,040 We should be getting our sexual second wind now. 108 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,280 We deserve it after the year we've had. 109 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,920 And instead we're in a terrible nookie drought. 110 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,480 Driving me up the wall. 111 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,920 I shut my finger in till seven times this week. 112 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,720 I know. I cut through a mains cable yesterday, 113 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,200 thinking about you in your bunny ears. 114 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,480 Well, you know the solution. 115 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,240 I'm not getting a vasectomy, Paul. 116 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,680 I'm not getting another IUD. It's your turn. I did 11 years. 117 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,960 No-one's coming near my balls with a soldering iron! 118 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,080 When they burn the tubes, it smells like Peri-peri chicken. 119 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,320 Oh, really? 120 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,520 Well, having a metal cocktail umbrella jammed up your cervix 121 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,480 isn't a trip to Center Parcs, either! 122 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,640 Well, I guess the standoff continues. 123 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:52,960 And when you break, 124 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,080 you know where I am. 125 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,880 I won't break. I'm rock hard. 126 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,680 I know the feeling. 127 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,240 All right? 128 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,200 Hull is a cosmic joke played by-- 129 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,800 By a God who doesn't exist? 130 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,440 Yeah. Heard that one, too. 131 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,880 If you're so miserable in Hull, why did you transfer here? 132 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,280 I applied to the Met, 133 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,280 but someone in HR ticked the wrong box. 134 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:34,920 Now that's a cosmic joke! 135 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,120 Fine, mock me. 136 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,760 But ask yourself why you need to? 137 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,160 Do you fear sincerity? 138 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,600 Chill out, True Detective, we don't do dark and moody. 139 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,200 We do Chip Spice, so put a sock in it, 140 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,440 'cause we've got justice to serve. 141 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,880 Ah, okay, justice, 142 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,760 man's desperate-- 143 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,760 Oh, thanks again, Craig. 144 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,120 You really are handy. 145 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,920 Oh, picked it up off Netmums. Yeah, they're great with DIY. 146 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,480 That and the seven signs you're ovulating. 147 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,560 -What else did those mums teach you? -Oh loads. Yeah. 148 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,520 Do you want me to pop round and bleed your radiators for you? 149 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,080 You really know what women want. 150 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,200 Well... 151 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,120 -What was that, Toni? -You were flirting with her. 152 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,880 -No, I bloody wasn't? -Yes, you were. 153 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,960 And she was flirting back. Bleed her radiator! 154 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,160 That was a genuine offer. 155 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,120 Oh, when did you last bleed my radiators, Craig? 156 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,000 Last week, when you fell asleep in front of Gogglebox. 157 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,920 Oh, right. 158 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,840 Yeah, well, I know flirting when I see it. 159 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:38,960 I basically invented it. 160 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,560 -You invented flirting? -Yeah. 161 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,640 And damn straight. I'm the flirt master! 162 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,520 -You're really not, mate. -Oh, yeah, I am. 163 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,120 Yeah. I just choose not to practice my art when you're around. 164 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,440 Out of courtesy to you. 165 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,120 How very noble of you, I had no idea. 166 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,560 Well, the gloves are off now, Craig. 167 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,400 Two can play that flirting game. 168 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,120 Grace, it's time for school! 169 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,840 Yeah, watch out, world. 170 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,880 Toni Callaghan is back on the flirting scene. 171 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,240 Yeah, and she's feeling frisky! 172 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:10,320 Grace! 173 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,880 -Hiya. -Ah... 174 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,440 Hiya. 175 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,600 Who's this tall drink of water? 176 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,360 Are you thirsty, love? 177 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,680 I am now. 178 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,960 -Is she all right? -Jury's out on that one, mate. 179 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,520 Might wanna take that black eye off, Tone. 180 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,080 Eh, up. Who's this then? 181 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,600 No, she hasn't... 182 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:01,720 Are you in charge? 183 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,880 What you doing here? 184 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,600 I'm from City Hall. 185 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,720 I'm here to inspect your equipment. 186 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,920 Yes, ma'am. 187 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,800 Show me what you can do with that. 188 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,280 That is a very large piece. 189 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,280 You clearly know what to do with it. 190 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,600 Be careful it doesn't go off unexpectedly. 191 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,520 Bloody hell! 192 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,480 City Hall had a makeover. 193 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:44,920 What happened to Bernard? 194 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,320 Right, everything we've got on Jacks Jackson. 195 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,360 You can never truly know who another man is. 196 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:54,960 You can have a pretty good idea. 197 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,800 Looks like your standard drug dealer. 198 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,240 Peddling the promise of respite to desperate souls. 199 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,080 Oh, he's an idiot, but he's basically harmless. 200 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,560 No one's harmless, Rana. 201 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,560 Every breath we take poisons a planet. 202 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,640 There goes some rainforest. 203 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,920 So you think Jackson's the one who's been seen dealing here? 204 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,320 It's his MO, for sure. 205 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,920 But when his daughter was born, I really thought he'd go straight. 206 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,200 People don't change. 207 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,880 We just tell ourselves they can, so our hearts don't break. 208 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,200 You've always been a miserable git, then, have you? 209 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:22,520 Just have my eyes open, Rana. 210 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,160 Oh, well, your mouth's certainly open. 211 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,760 Anyway, people can change, Pickles. 212 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,160 I've seen it with my own eyes. 213 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,720 I've got a good feeling about Jacks Jackson. 214 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:31,840 Is that him there? 215 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,440 -Oh, shit, yeah. -Dealing drugs to that teenager? 216 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,000 Yeah, all right, Pickles. Don't rub it in. 217 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,360 Oi! Jacks, you ***! 218 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,120 Jack, you can get back here! 219 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,400 Jack? 220 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,240 Oh, aren't you a sight for sore eyes? 221 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,520 Mmm. 222 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,920 Oh, Grace! 223 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,240 Don't snatch. 224 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,800 -Sorry, Missy. -It's okay, Grace. 225 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,440 Grace? 226 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,040 I don't know what to do about her at the moment, 227 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,760 - as a mother or a director. - Oh, I wouldn't worry. 228 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,920 I mean, they have lots of funny little phases at that age, don't they? 229 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,480 God, you're so right, er... 230 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,360 Rod. I'm Rod. 231 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,440 Rod. 232 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,680 Rod. 233 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,040 Of course. 234 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,320 Rodney. 235 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,960 What do you want, Toni? 236 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,120 Just saying hello to your husband, being nice. 237 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,600 There's no law against that, is there? 238 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,080 You've got some shit in your hair. 239 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,400 I'll be in the Audi. 240 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,920 It, it's flame retardant foam! 241 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,960 I've been doing some street theater. 242 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,080 Don't mind her. It's hormones. 243 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,880 -What's wrong with everyone? -Oh, search me. 244 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,560 All right. Yeah. Arms up. 245 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:46,840 -Spread 'em. -Whoa, whoa. 246 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,240 Go easy on me, chief! 247 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,520 What if we make it a strip search? 248 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,720 Would you like that? 249 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,840 Well, I better head... Yeah... 250 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,280 -Stuff to do. -Of course. 251 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,400 Stuff. Yeah. 252 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,440 See you around, big fella. 253 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:05,960 This was nice. 254 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,240 Nailed it. 255 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,440 Excuse me. 256 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,920 Can you help me, miss? 257 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,680 What are you doing-- 258 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,000 -Yeah. -Toni Callaghan? 259 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,680 Damn straight. 260 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,680 Who's this calling me up, all sexy? 261 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,320 This is Mr. Jarvis, Grace's head teacher. 262 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,200 Oh, God, oh, okay. Erm... 263 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,560 How are you? Are you all right? 264 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,280 -Business good? -Grace is fine. 265 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,200 But we do need you to come in later. 266 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,880 There was an incident. 267 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,000 Why... What... What's happened to Grace? 268 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,480 I can't get into it over the phone. 269 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,000 -See you shortly. -Oh. 270 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,920 -I've got a surprise for you. -And I've got one for you. 271 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,120 Ooh, centurion vibes. 272 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,560 We've got no condoms. 273 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,120 If you get me pregnant, 274 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:23,760 I'll get a soldering iron and I'll Peri-peri your bollocks meself. 275 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,280 I'll go down to the chemist. 276 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,040 Dane... 277 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,720 Jake could be home in a minute. 278 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,840 What about the drawer the batteries are in? 279 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,200 No, I cleared that out last month. 280 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,880 -I'll go check the bathroom. -Ugh. 281 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,320 -Oh, where'd you find those? -That box of Ashley's stuff. 282 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,920 Dane, not our baby girl's condoms. 283 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,520 It's either that or this. 284 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,640 Dane... 285 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,040 I left Jacks sobbing in the cells. 286 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,760 Feel free to gloat or is gloating a construct too? 287 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,960 On the contrary, I wish I was wrong about the world, Rana. 288 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:09,880 But I never am. 289 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,920 Well, you're wrong about one thing, that jumper. 290 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,880 What you undercover as? 291 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,040 The '90s? 292 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,320 My granny made me this. 293 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,960 Attention all units. 294 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,600 Suspicious activity reported in parked vehicle, 295 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,960 Vicki Docks. 296 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,600 Cometh the dusk, cometh the doggers. 297 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,480 "Doggers"? No chance. 298 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,400 There's nothing sexy about Vicki Docks. 299 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,080 -It's got a bandstand. -Depravity knows no bounds, Rana. 300 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,400 Not in Hull. 301 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,000 -The thing about Hull-- -Oh, Pickles, you know... 302 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:39,720 You've been here a week. 303 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,040 You know nothing about Hull! 304 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,640 On the contrary, my fresh eyes see the city's true face. 305 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,040 Take me to Victoria Park and I'll demonstrate. 306 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,480 -Fine. Is your seat belt on? -No. 307 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,800 Poor Grace. 308 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,360 It's all the house and baby stuff. 309 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,640 It's just getting to her. 310 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,880 We'll talk to her. 311 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,400 Sort it all out. 312 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,080 Hmm. 313 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,320 So, what happened? 314 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,280 Ms. Callaghan. Let's hear your side of it. 315 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,440 Well, I wasn't there! 316 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,600 You're denying the accusation? 317 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,480 What accusation? 318 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:18,400 Er, the "unwanted cupping of a buttock." 319 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,080 Grace cupped a buttock? 320 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,360 No. 321 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,720 Ms. Callaghan did. 322 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,920 Oh, Toni! 323 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,400 Oh, that? Jeez... 324 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,160 That, that was nothing, Craig. I wasn't... 325 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,080 I was just getting my flirt on, 'cause... 326 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,000 I'm the flirt master. 327 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:36,920 Whose buttock did you cup? 328 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,560 -Rod. -Why, Rod? 329 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,840 -'Cause he was there. -Oh, mate. 330 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,000 What are our options? 331 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,200 We could keep it inside the school. 332 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,440 Oh, yeah. 'Cause you know it won't hold up in court! 333 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,640 Where's your evidence? 334 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,120 Anyway, seriously, Craig, he was asking for it. 335 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,280 Don't say that Toni. 336 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,360 Ms. Callaghan would need to take our course on respect though. 337 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,280 It's taught by puppets. Terrific fun. 338 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,160 But very informative. 339 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,440 -You can do that, right, Tone? -I'm not taking a course. 340 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,920 You have no jurisdiction over me. 341 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,080 Craig. Let's go. 342 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,360 This is a kangaroo court. They can't handle the truth. 343 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Ms. Callaghan. 344 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,280 Please think about the example you're setting Grace. 345 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,000 And I'm thinking... 346 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,800 Thinking it's a brilliant example! 347 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,760 I'm teaching her to stick it to the man! 348 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,680 Sorry to interrupt. 349 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,480 Grace sprayed Tommy with a fire extinguisher. 350 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,080 That's what Mommy did to Daddy. 351 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,760 I'd like to speak to my lawyer. 352 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,760 It gives me no pleasure to prove you wrong, Rana. 353 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,400 Really, 'cause I'm getting quite a smug vibe. 354 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,760 Behold the true face of Hull! 355 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:54,800 -It's coming. -Police! 356 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,880 Don't shoot. We're not criminals. 357 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,320 We're in English heritage. 358 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,720 -Gloria? -What are you doing here? 359 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,920 Yeah, Glor's a whizz with my sticky zipper. 360 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,920 -I don't have the knack. -Oh. 361 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,280 - Medic. - I told him to take it back, 362 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,320 but he was so sold on the color. 363 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,960 Hands up who loves maroon? 364 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,680 What brings you to this notorious dogging location? 365 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,840 -We were on the bat walk. -It's a pipistrelle hot spot! 366 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,440 Oh, they weren't dogging, they were batting. 367 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,120 Guilty as charged. 368 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,680 I'm the Batman. 369 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:26,800 And I'm his Lady Robin. 370 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,880 Right, well, no vigilantism though, you two. 371 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,240 The ain't Leeds. 372 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,760 Received and understood, Constable. 373 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,040 Good. 374 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,920 Would you care for a coffee, Officer? 375 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,480 There's plenty of Mellow Birds in the thermos. 376 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,840 Aw, isn't that a lovely offer, eh, Constable Pickles? 377 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,640 I suppose so. 378 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,440 -I'll get me Dundee cake out. -Hmm. 379 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:51,960 Behold... 380 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,080 the true face of Hull. 381 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,720 -Oh! -Oh, God. 382 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,800 Oh. 383 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,120 That were... 384 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,640 I mean... 385 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,400 We got that oil everywhere, didn't we? 386 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,640 -Yeah, we did. -Yeah. 387 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,040 Where's your phone? 388 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,840 Google, "oil and condoms," will ya? 389 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,760 Oil and condoms. 390 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,520 "Using oil and condoms damages the latex, causing it to break." 391 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,280 Get your chuddies back on. We're going Boots. 392 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,480 To be fair, it's a very moist cake. 393 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,560 Not such a bad eight hours after all. 394 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,240 Mmm. They were passable. 395 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,280 So what you gonna do now then? 396 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,360 Bath, poetry and long dark night of the soul? 397 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,760 You've been reading my diary? 398 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,720 See you tomorrow, Pickles. 399 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:46,360 Oh, and Pickles? 400 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,320 Yeah? 401 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,120 That jumper's all right, actually. 402 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,880 Granny's got good taste. 403 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,200 Right, I bought Jake a burger, gave him his Nintendo, 404 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,520 and cracked a window. 405 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,840 Bought a pack of 80. That should last us a month. 406 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,320 Sixty quid? Jesus Christ. 407 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,080 Our sex drive's gonna eat us out of house and home. 408 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,040 Well, we could cut back? 409 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,760 Bank holidays and weekends only, but-- 410 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,520 That's no life, Dane. 411 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,160 -I'll book a vasectomy. -I'll book an IUD appointment. 412 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,920 -Double bagging. -Safest way. 413 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,400 Martin Lewis'll be proud. 414 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,200 -You all right? -How can I help? 415 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,600 I need the morning-after pill. 416 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,000 When did the incident occur? 417 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,360 Four o'clock today. 418 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,800 And then about 4:10-ish. 419 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,920 4:30. 420 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,840 And then about 5:00. 421 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,520 Don't forget the, er... 422 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,880 Oh, yeah... 423 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,600 That one would have been about quarter past 5:00. 424 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,160 There or thereabouts. 425 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,320 Gloria? 426 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,080 Paula. 427 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,320 We saw you in the DIY shop. 428 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,840 Huge fans. 429 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,360 Could I book you for my 70th? 430 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,240 [Amber] Whose turn is it now, Fuzzy? 431 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,440 It's Toni's turn. 432 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,760 Toni, can you tell Fuzzy what respect means? 433 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,560 -You've got this, Tone. -It means not spraying people with-- 434 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,760 That's okay. I'm gonna take this one. 435 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,360 -Respect means to-- -Ah... 436 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,560 Tell Fuzzy. 437 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,760 Well, Fuzzy, 438 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,360 respect means treating people how you want to be treated. 439 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,120 That's right, Toni. 440 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,400 High five. 441 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,440 Great job, Toni. 442 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,320 You girls have done brilliantly. 443 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,200 Who wants a sticker? 444 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,480 Come on. 445 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,160 That was so informative, Amber. 446 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,560 You have a real gift for puppetry. 447 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,760 Thank you. You know, I'm always looking for new trainers, 448 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,880 -if you're interested. -Oh, definitely. 449 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,400 I'll give you my email. 450 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,160 Oh, Fuzzy wants my email, Craig.