1 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,360 Auntie Toni! We have a problem. 2 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:23,840 No we don’t. 3 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,640 Everything’s ready. I’ve done everything we're ready for the party. 4 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,480 She’s decided she’s frightened.. 5 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,040 Of flamingos. 6 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,240 What? 7 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,640 No. No. No. No. Hey! Hey! Hey! No! No! No! 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,160 No you’re not, Grace! 9 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,160 We love them, remember? 10 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,760 That’s why you’re having a birthday party all about flamingos... 11 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,280 in half an hour... When all your friends get here! 12 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,120 CRAIG! We’ve have a problem! 13 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,440 Toni? 14 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,520 No don't, go away. 15 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,320 - Let’s have a look. - Go away! 16 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,640 - Oh okay... - No, don’t go away. 17 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,520 Oh my God, you've had a full-on break down an't yer. 18 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:18,920 It’s all gone wrong! 19 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,400 ***. Why does everything in my life go wrong? 20 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,520 Was you tryna look like Katy Perry? 21 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,600 No a flamingo!! 22 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,040 Oh right. 23 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:40,000 No cos Craig just said that erm, Grace has gone off flamingos. 24 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,400 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Paula, 25 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,400 yeah she has, totally out of the blue! 26 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,800 Kids are twats, they change their mind. 27 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,880 Told you should've had it at McDonald's? 28 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,120 All the kids get a toy and there's no washing up. 29 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,480 - Paula, this is serious. - Yeah. 30 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,680 I'm making memories! 31 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,560 I’ve got amazing memories from when I was five. 32 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,560 What of? 33 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,040 My party. 34 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,240 Oh for goodness sake, 35 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,800 get back down stairs now and crack on, 36 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,360 you’ve got an actual party happening in twenty two minutes 37 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,240 and you’re nowhere near ready. 38 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,280 Useless bloody hippy! 39 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,480 In to the loft with this lot. 40 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:32,840 How do I look? 41 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,440 Like a freak. 42 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,760 - Where's Grace? - She's outside with Ashley. 43 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,160 The party’s ruined. 44 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,560 Oh bollocks. 45 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,760 Have a Frozen Party - everyone loves a bit of frozen. 46 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,040 No. No. Not me. I'm a feminist. I don't believe in princesses. 47 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,120 *** off. 48 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,240 Parking a kid in front of a princess movie for ninety minutes of 49 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,960 free babysitting, it don't get more feminist than that. 50 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,760 But Frozen's so mainstream! It's been done to death. Like 51 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,920 I wanted to give her a day that was quirky and eclectic! 52 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,920 She’ll remember this day for the rest of her life. 53 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,560 She's five! She doesn't remember to wipe her own arse. 54 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,440 No. I remember my fifth birthday! Mam threw me an amazing flamingo party. 55 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,840 Mam never threw us a party in her whole life! 56 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,880 The only thing that she celebrated was opening up a new bottle. 57 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,800 No she did! Do you know. Right, just because you’re older than me Paula, 58 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,560 don't mean I don't remember stuff too. 59 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,440 Mam was bloody brilliant that day. 60 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,600 Okay fine. Whatever. Listen I’ll go get Ashley’s 61 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,200 old Frozen tat out of the attic. 62 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,960 So let it flamin-go. 63 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,120 That's not funny. 64 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,320 Yeah it is. I got the funny genes. 65 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,760 Ashley I know what I can say. It's something really, really funny. 66 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,400 Don't worry, sweetie! Daddy's making it all better. 67 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,560 You’re a cheeky monkey and so am I, smell my trumps! 68 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,160 Aw Craig, this is sick. I want one when it’s my birthday. 69 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,320 Hello Craig, no one under seventy wears a vest! 70 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,160 YEAH! 71 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,080 She's here. She's here. She's here. 72 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,360 - Who? - My mum. 73 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,640 Oh for ***. God. Archangel Gabriel please protect me. 74 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,480 If you get me a shirt out, love, I'll iron it. 75 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,600 Oh thanks mum. 76 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,120 What happened to your face? 77 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,480 Gloria, I'm so glad you could make it. 78 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,240 Craig mentioned you're having a disaster. 79 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,440 Did he? Well 80 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,440 that's funny because if anything, I'm having an against the odds 81 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,720 triumph! I'm erm, pivoting the party, so you, so you could say. 82 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,400 In under half an hour? 83 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,400 Yeah. 84 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,000 That's a bit ambitious. 85 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,920 Have you informed your entertainer? 86 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,360 - Oh we haven’t booked am entertainer - Yeah, I was just 87 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,400 about to inform the entertainer actually when you interrupted me, 88 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,280 Gloria. 89 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,920 - Here we are. You take it for me. - Oh that's, that's great thanks. 90 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Hello. 91 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,360 Slow down. Stop! 92 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,520 Oh I think I’m gonna be sick. 93 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,760 I need you to be my princess. 94 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,800 I don’t feel very regal right now. 95 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,120 I gave evidence in court, yesterday. 96 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,840 And went out with the prosecution lawyers. 97 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,680 We put away a very dangerous man. 98 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,800 Then a lot of prosecco. 99 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,360 Rana. I need you to be the entertainer for the party! 100 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,760 No Toni, this is a class five hangover. 101 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,480 This is an emergency. And you are an emergency service. 102 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,960 I’ll need to keep this on me at all times, just in case. 103 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,520 Yeah. Fine. I'll stick some glitter on it 104 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,160 and call it and call it the royal bucket! 105 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,640 How is that for pivoting the party! 106 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,880 Rana, I'll text Paula get her to bring you something to wear. 107 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,760 Yeah. How am I gonna entertain a bunch of kids? 108 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,080 Do you know any magic tricks? 109 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,200 Only very adult ones. 110 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,040 - Rana I swear! - Alright fine. 111 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,400 I'll think of something. 112 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,360 We an't got long. Kids are on their way. 113 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,040 Just need a minute with my bucket. 114 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:19,600 Yeah. 115 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,240 - Nice. - Yeah. 116 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,000 Oh Craig was just asking what's to be done with your... 117 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,800 - Seagull cake. - Seagull! 118 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,040 I knew it reminded me of something! 119 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,440 Flamingo. It reminded you of a flamingo. Because that's what it is. 120 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,400 - It's just they're really small legs. - Craig! I swear to God. 121 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,480 I would just put it out of its misery, if I were you. 122 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,080 Would you like to be humanely destroyed? 123 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,120 No! I want to be pivoted into a princess cake. 124 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,320 Squawk! 125 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,680 Or I could just take it outside and shoot it? 126 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,600 No, no one's destroying anything. 127 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,920 Because a party's not a party without a cake. 128 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,560 Oh I agree. 129 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,800 I thought it might be needed. 130 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,840 As a back up. That's all. 131 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,640 You thought it might be needed, Gloria? 132 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,560 Almost as if you knew that the theme would change. 133 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,360 'Women's intuition'. 134 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,560 So I had a thought re entertaining the kids. 135 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,640 I could do my stranger danger speech. 136 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,040 Rana. 137 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,840 She the entertainer? 138 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,920 Yeah. 139 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,040 Yeah. I do kids parties on my days off now. 140 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,320 So, 141 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,520 can you make this into a sausage dog? 142 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,200 Course I can, love. 143 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,520 Hold this. 144 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,640 - Is this a sick bucket? - May be. 145 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,480 A show-woman never reveals her tricks. 146 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,240 Excuse me. Thank you. 147 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,480 At least Rana is here helping you. 148 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,520 Thank God. 149 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,200 - Well and... - Me 150 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:25,800 Toni, yeah. 151 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,800 - I've done quite a lot of it actually. - She's done loads. 152 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:32,360 I just mean because you’re always so busy. 153 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,240 With your acting hobby. 154 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,680 It’s not a hobby! Gloria. It’s a calling. 155 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,720 Oh, and have you been getting many calls? 156 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,840 - Right do you know what, you can just *** - Flamingo's in the garden. 157 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,200 Let's get the flamingos 158 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,840 So are you sure you don't want me to...? 159 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Back in a minute. 160 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,080 Will you please calm down? 161 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,080 For crying out loud. 162 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,600 Can you not see it? 163 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,640 What? She's just a bit shy. 164 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,440 Your mother is a psychopath in Marks and Spencer's clothing, Craig. 165 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,080 Or, y, you're being ridiculous. 166 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,520 No I aren't. No I aren't. I bet you anything 167 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,560 she's the one who put Grace off flamingos. 168 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,400 Toni, you're being paranoid. 169 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,600 You always say that when I accuse people of plotting against me. 170 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,600 She, she has assassinated my flamingo party 171 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,240 and now she wants to dance on its grave. 172 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,120 Flipping hell... Are you an actor by any chance? 173 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,080 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I am. 174 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,000 And I’m gonna deserve an Oscar for keeping my face 175 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,320 straight for the next two hours. 176 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,160 I’ve got a ton of fake Frozen gear in here. 177 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,160 Let’s put some glittery tat all over this ***. 178 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,440 Rana! 179 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,640 *** it. Rana. 180 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,200 Rana. The kids will be here in eleven minutes! 181 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,200 You need to get changed. 182 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,240 I had a relapse trying to make the balloon dog. 183 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,440 Yeah well stop relapsing and look lively. 184 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,560 Paula brought you this. 185 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,400 Princess. 186 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,880 What the *** is that? 187 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,200 Well it's Paula's wedding dress. 188 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,800 You remember her grinding Dane in it, to Man I Feel Like a Woman. 189 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,400 Rana, come on. 190 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,760 I need to prove you're an entertainer. 191 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,720 So I can shove it up Gloria's arsehole! 192 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Sorry to interrupt whatever this is. But, Rana, I need that duvet mate. 193 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,840 - What for? - My mum's turning me into Olaf. 194 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:12,920 Dad? 195 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,480 What's the matter darling? 196 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,960 - Her eyebrows are scaring me. - Oh right. 197 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,680 Yeah, your eyebrows are scaring her. 198 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,360 There's not much I can do about that is there Craig. 199 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,280 I did suggest you use a wash in wash out hair dye. 200 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,720 Yeah well I'm not a wash in wash out person! 201 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,160 You're gunna have to do something. Cos your face 202 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,720 - is traumatising our child. - Get out. 203 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,240 Come on then babe lets go. 204 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,720 Right. Er Toni. 205 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,200 Such a shame about the theme. 206 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,480 Grace was so excited about flamingos. 207 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,800 She was telling me this morning. 208 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,760 You spoke to Grace this morning? 209 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,200 Yes, the little love called to make sure I was coming to her party. 210 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,800 Didn’t Craig mention it? 211 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,760 No. He did mention it. 212 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,520 Are you finished in here? 213 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,880 I’m taking this. 214 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,680 I thought we were going has princesses. Not peasants. 215 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,480 I am Cinderella, actually. Pre-makeover. 216 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,200 Complete with evil stepmother-in-law. 217 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,960 Oh right and we’re those mice you exploit for free labour... 218 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,000 I was right about Gloria sabotaging the party! 219 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,560 She spoke to Grace this morning. Craig kept it from me. 220 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Why would he do that? 221 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,440 Cos he knew you'd get all tinfoil hat about it? 222 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,760 No, no because he's plotting against me as well! 223 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,360 Him and Gloria are thick as thieves. 224 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,160 She’s been on the phone to Grace this morning, 225 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,440 making her scared of flamingos. 226 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,360 Oh Christ, here we go. Toni, for the last time, 227 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,240 Mam never threw you a flamingo party! 228 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,880 Yes she bloody did! You just don’t remember because your memory’s shit. 229 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,000 Auntie Toni, I think Grace just changed her mind. 230 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,280 Oh Ashley. You’re so naive. You don’t know what people are capable of. 231 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,000 What do you think? Woof, woof? 232 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,400 Are you gonna get off your backside at any point today? 233 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,320 Coz I don't know how entertaining you can be lying down. 234 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,480 Entertaining lying down is my speciality. 235 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,480 Toni, crack on, sharpish. Yeah. 236 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,320 Tick, tick, tick, Toni. 237 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,120 Will you be careful with that dress please. 238 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,080 It's got sentimental value. Ashley was conceived in it. 239 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,560 - Mam?! - Too much Paula 240 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,560 Oh minging. 241 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,760 Right Craig? 242 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,280 I’m a gonna get this party back on track. Stuff you Gloria... 243 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:23,760 Craig? 244 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,440 Theme killer! 245 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,840 Whoops! 246 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:51,800 Toni! 247 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,280 You did not just do that Toni. 248 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,440 Yeah I did actually. Because you ruined my party! 249 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,520 It's not your party 250 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,640 it’s Grace’s party! 251 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,880 It would have been a flamingo party 252 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,680 before you got to her and talked her out of it. 253 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,480 I I I I don't know what you're talking about! 254 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,240 Don't play innocent with me, Gloria. 255 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,520 You might have Craig fooled, but you can't kid a kidda! 256 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,960 - Toni! - You know what, 257 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,880 it's not me that's got him fooled! 258 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,560 My Craig has to do everything for Grace! 259 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,800 - Mum! - Yeah. Yeah, he's miserable in he. He's miserable! 260 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,840 It's a breath of fresh air when you come over Gloria, 261 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,680 it really is, it's *** relief. 262 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,800 Stop It! You're a failing actress and a failing mother! 263 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,640 Oh God. 264 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,320 Oh Dane'll have that if no one else wants it. 265 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,040 Guys the kids are arriving in a bit. 266 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,520 Princess Elsa vibe's died an it, 267 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,800 all gone a bit Blair Witch. 268 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,040 Ne'er mind. 269 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,680 It's all calmed down. 270 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,840 That cakes alright you know Gloria. 271 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,720 Oh I love Vicky Sponge. 272 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:06,800 Victoria 273 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,920 Toni. 274 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:20,960 Hey. 275 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,920 You alright? 276 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,400 How come everyone else can do it and I can’t? 277 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,880 They can’t. 278 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,480 Every mother on the planet is one Colin the Caterpillar 279 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,560 cake away from a breakdown. 280 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,880 And anyone who says that they aren’t is a liar. 281 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,680 When I think about everything Mam went through, like 282 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,680 struggling with addiction, 283 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,760 she still managed to give me a better fifth birthday party than this. 284 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,760 Give over, Toni... 285 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,680 You sound like Phillip Schofield introducing 286 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,200 a new guest on This Morning. 287 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,320 How do you not remember that party? 288 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,480 There were flamingos hung on the washing line. 289 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,600 Mam never hung anything on the washing line. 290 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,040 In fact she didn't even know she how it worked. 291 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,800 I remember it so clearly though. 292 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,040 It's only me. 293 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,680 Paula says you were asking about your fifth birthday. 294 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,840 - What? Do you remember it? - Oh. I remember everything, clearly love. 295 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,240 I've got a mind like a steel trap, me innit. 296 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,360 - Were there loads of flamingos? - I can show you. 297 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,200 I've got everything on home video. 298 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,040 - We don't have a video player. - No one does, love. 299 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,640 I've had my archive digitised. It's all on the Cloud. 300 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,600 Toni 301 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,280 - Oh my God. - Oh... 302 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,560 Oh mum... 303 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,200 Oh my God. 304 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,560 Bloody hell 305 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,160 is that me? 306 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,560 Yeah. Yeah. 307 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,720 Yeah. 308 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,480 Hey, you dance moves haven't changed much have they Tone. 309 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,800 Did our Mam film this? 310 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,480 Don't be daft! It were me. 311 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:52,800 Look at that framing? 312 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,880 I'm Hull's Steven Spielberg, I am. 313 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,240 Yeah, I'd have kids if I 314 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,320 could guarantee they'd turn out looking like that! 315 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,040 There. There. Look! There! 316 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,960 Flamingos! 317 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,920 - *** me. - I told you. 318 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,800 Mam was bloody brilliant that day. 319 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,680 She could be a tool. But she pulled it out of the bag for me, that day. 320 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,360 Auntie Toni, I really need to tell you something. 321 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,760 Please can you come outside? 322 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,120 Oh can, can we not? Look I'm being really adorable here. 323 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,720 It's really important. 324 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,720 Cheers Nima. 325 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,920 Is Ashley gonna break it to Toni about her cake? 326 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,520 Coz Someone needs to. That thing's a shitshow. 327 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,440 It was me who ruined the party, Toni. 328 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,360 Earlier at the park, Grace asked what a flamingo was 329 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,480 so I showed her a YouTube video and a little girl feeding one. 330 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,640 Only I didn't know, but it attacks her. 331 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,280 What. 332 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,480 Oh Jesus Christ! The entire pigtail?! 333 00:16:54,840 --> 00:17:00,320 See? It's all my fault. I ruined the party. I feel awful. 334 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,720 It's not, Your fault Ashley. 335 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,200 It's mine. 336 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,840 I should have asked Grace what she wanted. 337 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,400 And then ignored that and done a Frozen party. 338 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,280 That's what mam used to do with my parties. 339 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,480 It's her that loves Frozen, not me. 340 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,360 She's always singing Let It Go in the bath, and doing little farts 341 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,800 she thinks we can't hear her. 342 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,800 That's gross. 343 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,760 Go on then, lets go back in. 344 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Oh Gloria. 345 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,800 Your Mam didn't put this party together. 346 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,360 And it weren't me, either. 347 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,400 *** off! 348 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,840 That you, Paula? 349 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,320 You were always there for your little Sis. 350 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,440 Especially when your mam wasn't. 351 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,520 I did the party? 352 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,680 Innit. 353 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,000 You even gave yourself blisters cutting out those 354 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,960 flamingos with my craft scissors. 355 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,840 It's gonna blow Toni's mind when she sees this. 356 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,960 - Gonna call her back in! Hey Toni. Tone. - No. Don't! 357 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,880 I don't want her seeing this bit! Nima, wipe it! 358 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,520 Our Mam giving her this party's Toni's 359 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,440 one good memory of her. Wipe it! 360 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,320 But it, but it didn't happen. 361 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,240 She thinks it did, though. 362 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,920 And I'm not taking that from her. Please Nima. Wipe it! 363 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,120 - Are you sure, love? - Yeah. 364 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,720 And neither of you *** heads, 365 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,160 breathe a word. 366 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,480 - Right. - Right. 367 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,520 We're incepting that silly tart. 368 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,880 It's a lovely think to do Paula. 369 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,840 Where's Toni? 370 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,760 She's outside, with Ashley. 371 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,320 Nima. 372 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,920 Gloria. 373 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,520 You on your way out somewhere, 374 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,880 you’re very dressed up? 375 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,160 No, just here. 376 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,200 It's a party innit. 377 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,280 Hang on! 378 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,160 There you go, love. 379 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,000 Your sausage dog. 380 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,520 Come on then. Come on. You gonna get me? 381 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,440 Oh nearly. Nearly. 382 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,560 What you gonna get on the horsey. 383 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,640 Oh Grace. 384 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,840 Oh hang on a minute. 385 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,560 Come on you go play on the slide. Go play on the side. 386 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,960 Okay mum. 387 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,040 Oh wow. 388 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:49,960 My peace offering. 389 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,880 I should never have called you a bad mum. 390 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,600 Yeah. Or a bad actor. 391 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,480 No well. That's for the producers to say. 392 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,840 I used to perform, myself. 393 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:10,120 I sang in a duet in the seventies, 394 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,160 a club act, called Red and Ginger. 395 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,800 Oh my God. Craig's never told me that. 396 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:16,960 I’ve never told him. 397 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,920 What? Why? 398 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,360 I don't know what to say. 399 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,800 You should Gloria, it's really cool! 400 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:35,680 I want to apologise for accusing you of killing my theme. 401 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,400 Well I hope you have a lovely day, I really do. 402 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,760 Wait, aren't you staying? 403 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,080 It's your day, and Graces. 404 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,560 I can see you’ve put your back into it. 405 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,320 And you're the main woman in Craig's life now, 406 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,680 - not me. - Yeah I am. 407 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,840 But I want you to know, that you have single-handedly raised 408 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,960 the kindest man I've ever met. 409 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,120 I know I have. 410 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,320 But that's a lovely thing to say. 411 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,600 Yeah. 412 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,560 ‘Your mother’s a psychopath in Marks and Spencer’s clothing, Craig! 413 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,520 Kids are here... 414 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,320 There someone at the door. 415 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,600 Just go and...