What does the word 'home' mean to you?
Home?
It's someplace safe.
Somewhere
you know you can stay, and you don't have to move on.
It's not someplace temporary.
Scoot up a bit, just a little.
A bit down again. Like that. Perfect.
I also have to do this.
So if you close your eyes... - Okay.
And try to take a deep breath. Just relax completely.
Have you ever told your story before?
No.
But you're okay with telling me?
Yes.
Then I think that
you don't have to tell me yet. Just think back to your earliest memory.
What's the earliest thing you remember?
I'm three or four years old.
Hey! Watch out!
Where are you? - We're in Afghanistan, in Kabul.
Can you describe yourself?
I think I always had a tendency
to be a little different. Let's just put it like that.
I wasn't afraid of wearing my sister's dresses
my youngest sister's nightgown.
I liked the attention.
Where are you in Kabul?
In the house where I was born.
Saif.
Take him inside.
Where are your parents? - Come with me.
My mom is inside. I can hear her.
I just know she is.
There you go, sweetie. That should do the trick.
At night, I put my head on her lap, and she strokes my hair.
No one can do it like her.
When I look at my mother, I wish I could
see what she looked like when she was young.
I've seen photos of her with dark black hair,
but I only remember her with grey.
Go back and play. Dinner will be ready in an hour.
Dad took me by the hand, and we walked the airstrip together.
He lifted me up and put me in the cockpit.
It didn't have a steering wheel. It was
like a joystick, with buttons everywhere.
My sister is telling us stories about my father.
and then we took off! He said:
"It's important that you don't touch any buttons.
"If you hit the wrong one, it'll go kaboom!"
Then we flew off, into the clouds
and we could see to the end of the world!
It was amazing!
Lots of it is true, but she makes a lot up too.
My brother and I are completely
in awe of what she is telling us.
He said that as long as he was there,
nothing would ever happen to me.
I remember feeling jealous.
Why were you jealous?
Because she is telling us about all these great things
that my brother and I never got to experience
being together with our father.
Where is your father?
Can we just talk before we start? - Yes, of course.
Some things are hard to talk about. It's still tough,
but I need to come to terms with them.
It's my past, I can't run away from it, and I don't want to.
I might be ready in half a year, a year.
Of course. We'll take it at your pace.
I'm just glad that you are finally ready to tell your story.
I remember back in high school, I had no clue.
There were so many stories going around, like:
"Did you hear he walked all the way from Afghanistan?"
Good one! - I didn't know what to believe.
There were stories like that.
Wow!
I remember the first time I saw you.
There weren't a lot immigrants back then.
You were wearing a black and white checkered shirt. Remember?
Yes, I do.
And Buffalo shoes. - That's me.
I thought, "He's cool." - Fearless.
You kept staring straight ahead, like
you were trying not to attract attention.
I don't think you noticed me. I was
surprised we got off at the same stop. - Okay.
Look, I think it's from our Junior year? - Yes, it's Junior prom.
Check out those fancy shoes! Everything was tip top.
Yes.
Here it is.
This is where my story begins.
Okay.
I wrote it all down, when I got to Denmark.
Can you try to read it?
It'll be hard. I'm not that good at reading Dari anymore.
'The Mujahideen seized power in Afghanistan...'
I can't even read my own handwriting. It's very difficult.
'After the Mujahideen... Mujahideen...'
'The Mujahideen seized power
in Afghanistan'
They killed my father,
kidnapped my sister,
and killed my mother and brother.
If I had stayed, they would likely have killed me too.
It was pretty intense.
Have you told Kasper any of these stories?
No.
Kasper, I'm going to start filming. - Okay.
Honey...
See if it needs more salt.
When are you getting married?
When we find a place to live.
First of all, I want you to come home.
Secondly, I want a place where we can have a party.
If we need to wait till we can have a party, it'll take a while.
Maybe I'll just go buy us
a house while you're away.
You'll just have to deal with it then.
Sorry.
When do you leave tomorrow? - I have to be at the airport at 10.
How long this time? - Till June.
June? -I'll be back for a few months and then leave again.
You leave again? - I think so. - Really? - Yes.
Kasper has no idea. - Hmm.
Where are you going? - Back to the US.
Did you get an e-mail from your professor at Princeton?
No, a letter. He wants me to do a post-doc. - I see.
Yes.
To continue your research? - Yes.
What does Kasper say about that?
We haven't really talked about it.
Last time we spoke, we talked about your father.
Are you up to talking more about that?
Yes, it's just sad.
If we're back in Kabul during your childhood,
where is your father?
We don't know.
He was taken away. - Why?
Arise, you victims of oppression!
Arise, you prisoners of want!
Because the Afghan government saw him as a threat
to communist rule,
after they overthrew the monarchy in the late '70s
in 1979.
They rounded up about 3,000 people, including my father.
My mother told me about the day he was picked up.
She said that he expected it.
Akhtar Nawabi? - Yes? That's me.
We have orders to bring you in.
Wait here. I'll get my coat.
Okay, but hurry up!
They've come for me.
You should keep this
just in case.
I'm not a threat to anyone. I'll be back soon.
Then he was put in jail.
Please take care of yourself.
My mom told me that the family was able to visit him quite often,
but three months later, he disappeared
just like that.
Amin, listen. You need to keep it high
and make sure the string is taut.
I spend a lot of time with my brother. - Exactly like that.
Keep it taut. - He's a real boy, the kind who gets his
hands dirty. He breeds pigeons on our roof.
Hold it tight! Be careful, Amin! Give it to me! Give it to me!
Sorry.
I have 69 cards. How many do you have? - 52.
How about I trade you Vivek Mushran for Anil Kapoor?
No. - Please, Sabia.
I said no. I'm not interested. - But you have two Anil Kapoors!
I'll give you Vivek Mushran and Mamik Singh for him.
I don't need either of them, and it's
always nice to have a spare Anil.
Look at him! He's so handsome.
Ugh! You really piss me off!
How do you want it? - I don't care.
Actually, I'm not in the mood for this.
When did you first realize that you were gay?
I wasn't very old.
I think I've had fantasies about men
ever since I was five or six years old.
I remember one of them very clearly.
I was enamored with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Seriously. I fantasized about him.
I also liked Jean-Claude Van Damme, but for different reasons.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the way I "liked" him was different.
Yeah, well, I
I kind of knew all along that I was into men,
without actually knowing what it meant.
In Afghanistan, homosexuals didn't exist.
There wasn't even a word for them.
They brought shame on the family,
so it was hard to accept being gay.
We play volleyball everyday.
Come on!
My brother and I we're quite the team.
My brother is very tall and great at spiking.
Focus!
These days, terrorists are receiving
brand-new, long-range missiles from the US government.
The US wants a Vietnam War for the USSR
in Afghanistan, but I'm telling you
that when the US supplies the terrorists with aid
no one can save Afghanistan
from getting destroyed.
Afghanistan could well become a second Vietnam for the US instead!
The civil war began when my father was taken away.
They fought the Mujahideen.
The war isn't fought in Kabul proper,
so we don't notice it too much.
The only reason I notice it is because of my brother.
He's a growing teenage boy.
He doesn't want to join the army, but he has to.
Let's see who we find here.
You've played enough.
Come with us.
Saif! - Take him along.
Run!
The police are coming! - Stop! - Run! Come on!
Run! Don't let them seize you.
Saif!
Mom!
Mom! Mom, they're here. They caught him!
You can't stay here. You need to hide. Run over to Uncle Mahdi! Go!
Come back when it's dark. Be careful! Hurry up.
My brother is always on the run. He isn't the only one either.
Thousands of Afghan boys don't want to go to war,
and with good reason. Most of them don't return.
They die.
Oh my country, you suffer, because you were betrayed.
Oh my country, you've lost your melody, your voice.
Oh my country, you are in pain, and there is no cure.
Oh my country
Mujahedeen attacks are on the rise
in Kabul after the Soviet withdrawal.
Yesterday, seven people were killed near Kabul Airport.
The last of the American embassy personnel flew out of Kabul today
and went to India. Most other Western
embassies are either closed or closing.
The conventional wisdom is that when
the Soviets have completely withdrawn
the Afghans will set on one another,
and the capital will be even more dangerous than it is now.
The Soviet transport circles downward, firing magnesium flares
to divert any heat-seeking missiles.
The American-armed Mujahideen guerrillas
are in the mountains around the city.
We know the Afghan army isn't strong
enough to fend off the Taliban,
so it's just a matter of time before they invade Kabul.
We know they will seek revenge against
people they consider "non-believers."
Amin!
We need to get out right away.
We pack a few things, but we don't have time to sell anything.
Amin, come on.
So you barely made it out? - Yes, at the very last minute.
I cry all the way to the airport and then, on the plane.
I cried a lot.
We fled to Moscow.
Russia was the only country that would grant us a tourist visa.
Russia was such a strange place to be at the time.
We arrive a year after the fall of communism.
People are starving, and the supermarkets are empty.
The ruble keeps devaluating, and they keep printing new notes.
There's a lot of crime, and you can't trust the police.
Mother. Finally! - Abbas! My son!
My big brother, who lives in Sweden, meet us in Moscow when we arrive.
We haven't met in a long time.
He rented an apartment for us.
Oh, my God! Amin, you've grown!
He fled in the '80s, because he didn't want to go to war.
The game has taken an interesting twist.
The home team gets...
Go back!
Oh! -Wow!
We need to get them to Sweden as quickly as possible,
so that they can start school. If we wait, they'll be too old.
I know. What about you, sweetheart? Is Sweden treating you well?
Yes. Cleaning doesn't pay well, but it's all right.
¤4,600 dollars is all I could put together.
I'll get you more when I can.
Thank you.
When do you have to go back?
Tomorrow. I only have two days off.
Come here, you two!
I bet it's boring hanging out with mom and our sisters all the time.
I'll make real men out of you, when you get to Sweden.
Just you wait! The girls in Sweden are beautiful!
What's the plan? - Getting out of Russia.
It costs a lot of money to get smuggled to Sweden.
By traffickers?
Yes, human traffickers. It's the cheapest way.
You can get to Sweden for ¤3,000.
It's ¤15-20,000 for all of us.
My big brother is under enormous pressure because of it.
He doesn't make a lot of money.
Stop! Papers, please!
Papers!
Stay there.
Your visa is expired.
Thank you.
Go on.
Beat it!
We couldn't move about the city freely,
because we didn't have the right papers,
so we stayed in Russia illegally.
I ran away from the police whenever I saw them on the street.
So, I'd sit at home all day, watching Mexican soap operas.
The whole family did. It was the highlight of our day.
Let me help you with that suitcase. - Oh, thank you!
Is this your first time in Mexico City?
Yes! I've never seen anything like it.
And so we sit there for a year.
We just sit there, waiting to leave.
It's really hard for my brother to put together all that money.
Then, there is only enough to send my sisters.
Call me as soon as you get there.
Yes. Of course.
See you soon.
We're not told much about the journey.
Often, the traffickers don't know themselves.
Then we just wait for the call from Sweden,
hoping it's them, saying they're safe.
Those traffickers are such bastards!
I...
I think they're a bunch of psychopaths.
Get in!
You two! Get in!
They are put inside a freight
container, with lots of other people.
It's a bit warm in here
Then it's loaded onto a huge cargo ship,
and surrounded by other containers,
blocking it, so they can't get out.
This city is so hot.
I was better off in my village.
I've gotten stuck here.
Had I not needed money, I'd have left long back...
My older brother called.
It was... I mean, it was...
Everything seemed normal
as the MS Estonia arrived in
Stockholm from Talinn this morning.
The 1,100 passengers were unaware of the drama happening below deck.
This is incredibly inhumane. It's human trafficking at its worst.
Confined in a trailer were 64 refugees, fighting to get out.
It's unclear how long they'd been inside.
Of the 64, 26 were children, the youngest just 8 months old.
They nearly died on the way.
They're not well.
I think it's mainly the shock, but they aren't saying much.
I know someone, who can take a look at them.
You don't worry.
I just need to get one thing straight:
Your two sisters survived, right?
Yes. - They're not dead?
And you have an older brother, and they all live in Sweden.
Yeah.
Because I thought your whole family was dead.
Yeah. - And they're not.
No.
That's fantastic! It's really great to hear that.
But in all these years, you never told anyone about your family?
I think it was only after I started university
that I began to open up a bit
to an ex-boyfriend. But that didn't go so well.
I told him a little about my family.
At first he seemed
very understanding,
but when we had a big argument, he used it against me.
He said he would call the police and inform them
that my asylum was based on a lie.
Even after I broke up with him, I was terrified of it for years.
I think it's a great house.
It's nice. -How do you like the house?
The property is pretty big. - It's enormous!
Is that also part of the property? - Yes, all the way to the road.
It has a lot of potential. - There's a cat!
It walks around like it owns the place. -You won't have any problem.
If we bring our cat,
they'll have a big fight.
Right?
I'm right here to manage the rest.
Try calling it. - What do you say in Danish?
Here, kitty, kitty! Come here.
It's flirting.
Honey, look at all those hazelnut trees!
I think they're hazelnut. - Come.
Are they hazelnut? - Yes.
He's so cute.
They're hazelnut, right? - Come.
I'm not sure. They're not hazelnut. They just look like it.
Okay. Relax.
You really get into the summer mood with the heat and
But can you see yourself living there? -Yes, I can.
Really? -Yes.
What do you think?
Would you be able to live there, babe?
I don't want to be out there by myself.
Yes, of course. - So you won't
suddenly have all sorts of commitments all the time.
The narrow roads and big fields... They...
remind me of my time at the asylum center.
I'm scared of feeling depressed out there.
You'll never be a part of this family.
Leave! I never want to see you again!
But I'm carrying our child! You can't just throw me out!
I sure can! Get out of my house.
Go!
Don't you dare come back. -Don't do this...
Police!
We heard a noise. Open the door! We just want to talk to you.
We need to see your papers! Open the door.
Fuck! I hate them.
They're the worst people in the world.
They stank of vodka. It was so disgusting.
We know you're in there! Open up!
The nastiest people imaginable!
Even worse than the traffickers!
We have all day.
I don't remember the day we fled, or how we got out from Russia...
I...
I don't remember.
We drove for hours.
Now I remember. We are in a big truck,
which normally carried wood. They drive us.
We're dropped off in a forest and have to sit there and wait.
It's really cold, and we aren't dressed warmly enough.
Get in. Get in here.
Come this way.
There are two things I'll never forget about that night.
Come on, Mother, We need to keep up.
I wonder how long we have to walk.
Keep moving. No talking. Faster!
Wait!
Stop.
You there! Keep moving. Go on!
We've been walking since long. How much more time to reach?
Yes. It's taking too long.
What do we do? - Don't know...
I don't understand anything. -I wonder where they're taking us.
He needs other shoes. - We don't have any.
Are you kidding? You know we're
sneaking across the border, don't you?
It's so cold. How will he walk bare-feet?
Take them off! -What do you want me to do?
He can't just take his shoes off! - If you don't do it, I will!
What's going on? You can't stop. You have to keep walking. Move!
If you stop one more time, I'll shoot you.
Come. Come here. Please spare him.
Let go of him. Let him go.
No! Stop! I'll carry him.
I'll carry him.
We won't wait for you. Go!
Thank you so much.
You have to stay there, sweetie. He's helping us.
He is so kind.
Wait! Come help us!
What's the problem now?
I warned to leave them behind.
She's holding us up. - Why not shoot her in the head?
And you too...
"We'll shoot her in the head and
leave her here." So cold-blooded.
I'll do it. It's easy.
No, I'll make sure she keeps up. We'll hurry.
I think he said that to her son.
What are you doing?
My mother was also old.
It's very cold...
How to stand... The child will...
That woman... It's good she didn't understand Russian.
They got this boat to take us to Sweden.
across the Baltic Sea to Sweden.
I know it was almost impossible.
My mother is terrified of water.
Are we all getting on this boat? - I guess.
But there's not enough room? - There has to be.
We'll never convince Mom to get in that.
She has to. She can't stay here.
You need to stay below deck, so the coast guard won't see you.
We stripped the inside, so there's room down there.
It will take two days to get to Sweden. Let's go!
No No!
Come on. -No.
You too have... -Yes.
We sail for a couple of hours I think.
People start puking.
It's bad, real bad. - When will we reach?
I wonder... -Why is it shaking?
Why is it... -Shh...
I'm scared. -Can you hear us?
Water! Water is getting in! Help! Help!
Open up! - We'll drown. -Help!
Please open this. -We'll drown.
Water is accumulating.
Water is getting in... -Help!
Open.
Somebody help! Help!
It has started to rain.
So you're bailing out water in the pouring rain.
We need to keep bailing it out, because it keeps getting in.
The boat doesn't even have a radio,
so we can't call for help.
No one knows how to swim either. -Bail the water out. Quick.
I think it would have been easier if it was just me. -We can't swim.
My mother was terrified. -I can't either.
Whenever she talked about death, she always mentioned water.
Dying in water, drowning, was her worst nightmare.
What's going through your head?
Who do I save first, if the boat goes down?
Because you knew how to swim?
No.
I didn't really think about that.
Maybe I thought I could.
I have no clue.
I was more concerned about who I would choose.
A few days pass.
Looks like it's a boat. It's a ship.
We may survive. Someone has come to save us.
Help us!
Help! Over here! Stop!
Over here! Help!
Look at us. It's from Norway!
Help us.
Come. A boat has come to help us.
Yes. They've come for us. We will survive.
Nothing will happen to us.
Help!
I don't know why, but as I stand there, looking at that ship,
I just can't feel the joy. -Did you see that?
The ship has come to save us.
I... -What's wrong?
Help us.
I'm embarrassed...
Help us!
Embarrassed and ashamed of our situation. -They are...
Look at us. Here.
People want to jump into the water and swim to the ship. -Save us.
I mean
They think that if they jump into the water and swim,
the ship will pick them up.
Everyone is so desperate
It's a fantastic opportunity!
All of a sudden
everything we want to achieve is right there.
You feel that... -Please save us. -Look
You could almost reach out and touch it.
We have called the Estonian border police. They're on their way.
They will take you back.
We have called the Estonian border police. They're on their way.
They will take you back. -What?
Then the police come and take us:
men in camouflage, with balaclavas and face paint.
They scream and shout like crazy.
I have no idea what's going on.
I'm crying and crying. I can't stop.
I can see the fear in the adults' eyes. They are terrified!
Even the big men You can see it in their eyes. They're petrified.
It really scared me.
If they are that afraid, what will happen to us?
It must be serious.
We are locked inside an abandoned building.
There are guards, and on that same day,
they run barbed wire around the building.
People were in shock.
Based on how they treated us,
we thought we would be there for the rest of our lives.
We have no idea what will happen to us.
No one tells us anything.
Journalists come and film us.
We hope something will happen, but no.
They get their footage of poor refugees
and go home to do their TV shows
But nothing actually happens. It's just us and the guards.
It felt like my life had ground to a halt. There's nothing left.
Then, six months later,
they gave us two options:
Stay here to rot, or...
Go back to Moscow.
As soon as we arrive in Russia, we
are arrested by the Russian police.
They want to send us back to Afghanistan,
but luckily the Russian police were so corrupt
that if we gave them the last of our money, they would let us go.
Thanks for letting me crash here.
Do you want a snack with that? - No.
What happened?
I just needed to get away.
I told Kasper that I'm doing my postdoc at Princeton.
It didn't go well? - No, it didn't.
He feels stupid because we looked at all those houses.
He doesn't understand.
It seems as if it's more Kasper's project than yours?
I don't know. It's his dream,
but I'd also like a place to settle down. But...
But? - Nothing.
It makes me a little nervous.
Because...
Getting out of Russia was a tremendous gift
a tremendous gift. I got a life.
I couldn't just give that up or
Yeah.
If it wasn't for my siblings, I wouldn't be where I am today.
So, I bear a tremendous burden on my shoulders
you could say.
For example, my brother had a Finnish girlfriend for ten years.
They wanted children, but he couldn't,
because he had to save every penny to get us out of Russia.
His girlfriend left him.
I see.
How does not moving to the
countryside help your family?
Aren't you supposed to be on my side?
When are you leaving for the US? - On Sunday.
Sunday? - Yes.
How long will you be gone? - I'm coming home for a few days.
I mean...
So, three or four months from now? - Yes. Three or four months I guess.
Okay.
Look at this place. I can't believe it's ours!
Only the best for you, my love.
The three of us will live lovingly
and happily here.
Something happened to my mom.
She started acting strange in Russia.
She got some kind of allergy.
I think she's homesick. She misses Afghanistan.
It's boring just staying home
I'm a teenager, and I want to experience something different,
so I go outside.
This is a restaurant of Moscow-McDonald's joint venture.
This company is known around the
world for its prompt food service.
Yay! -Wooo!
Yay!
When we get out of Russia, we should go to McDonald's to celebrate.
I'd like a Big Mac and a Coke, thank you! It's going to be so nice.
Hey, you! Come with me! - No! We didn't do anything!
Did I ask you? Let me see your papers then.
Just as I thought. Come on!
Stop! Don't do this. - Where's your money?
Stand still! -We don't have any!
We just wanted to see what's going on.
Can I see that watch for a second? - Don't touch him! -Stay still.
Come here!
Get in!
Look what I found. - Nice! I'd like to have some fun with her.
Go on. Sit down!
What's with them? - They need to be taught a lesson.
Sir!
Why are they here? - These two? They're greedy. They won't pay.
What about her? - She doesn't have any money either,
we thought she could pay us in another way.
You two! Out!
I remember her face her black hair
big, dark eyes
Darn! Why didn't I protect her? Say something? I just let it happen.
It's one of the most horrible feelings I ever had.
I can't do this anymore.
My brother isn't very old,
but he assumed responsibility for us.
He wants to send my mother and I first.
This time, we're very careful. -It will be fine. Don't worry.
We make arrangements with a very expensive trafficker,
because we didn't want to go through the same things again.
We insist on a safe, secure route,
which mean we only have enough for one of us to leave.
In the end, my brother decides that it should be me.
It was horrible, because I felt
awful about leaving him behind.
Each week, each month, each year,
his chance of having a decent future dwindles.
I can't take this anymore.
Okay. You have to learn your
name and date of birth by heart.
You're Russian. Remember that. Speak Russian if anyone asks you anything.
One more thing.
Destroy the passport as soon as you reach your final destination.
If the police catch you with a fake
passport, they'll send you back to Russia.
Stick to the story we gave you. It's crucial.
From now on, you have no family. They're dead.
You fled Afghanistan on your own, without any help.
If you say anything else, you'll
be shipped back to Afghanistan.
What do you mean?
Don't tell anyone about your family.
You have no family. Understand?
Good. Now get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.
The traffickers had all this power over my life.
You're left completely powerless.
I'm with another young guy, also alone, just like like me.
He's nice and funny. He makes me laugh.
He's a bit boyish, but there is an age difference between us.
He's closer to becoming a man.
I think it's kind of sexy.
I think I have a little crush on him.
His gold necklace is so beautiful
Do you want to try it on? I'm sure it will look great on you.
Very nice!
Our flight to Istanbul will take around two hours.
Thank you for flying Ukrainian International Airlines.
Listen. Once you pass by passport control on your right
Don't stare! Once you pass it, you're on your own.
You're going to different destinations.
You're going to Zurich, Gate D27.
You're going to Copenhagen, Gate A9. Got it?
I thought I was going to Sweden? - No, you're going to Denmark.
Denmark? But...
It's the last trip, so you'll have to manage on your own from now on.
Remember to call home as soon as you land. It's very important.
That way, I can get my money.
Okay. Now, go! It's getting late.
You're going to Zurich? - Yes, it's in Switzerland.
Do you have family there? - Is yours in Copenhagen?
Hey, thanks for letting me borrow it.
No, keep it.
Are you sure?
Thank you.
Good luck. - You too.
It's weird that I can't remember his
name, when he meant so much to me.
He was part of something that
had a huge influence on my life.
Then, all of a sudden, I'm flying
on my own, and landing in Copenhagen.
I sit there waiting for a while.
I see this big group of people, so I start to follow them.
Move!
I think I just said "refugee."
What? Refugee? - Refugee.
Where's your passport?
Karin is here because you're a minor,
who arrived without a guardian.
A guardian must be present at your interview.
The interpreter is Iranian and I'm Afghani, so we miscommunicate.
Let's start with the formalities.
He will ask you a few questions.
What's your name?
Amin.
We need to know how you got here.
He's asking you how you got here.
There's nothing to worry about. Just tell us what happened.
She says don't be scared.
I'm interrogated for hours. For hours.
I'm the only survivor from my family.
I have to stick to the story the smuggler gave me.
I saw my mother and sisters get killed.
I'm sobbing. The damn story really hits me, even though it's not true.
I'm the only survivor.
I'm crying uncontrollably. The tears just keep coming.
My father and I hid in the desert for a year, before he was killed.
I'm surprised to be crying over something that isn't true.
It took a month to get from Aghanistan to Denmark.
As soon as I'm done, I write everything down,
word for word, in Dari, in my notebook.
I have no one. I'm all alone.
That's the story I told
everyone until now.
It is not until we're driving through the town square,
and I see the neon lights through its window.
that I realize
I'm not being sent back.
Hello? - Abbas?
Amin? - Yes.
Finally! Are you okay? - Yes.
Where are you?
In Denmark. - Oh
Why didn't you call earlier? - I couldn't find a phone.
What? I can't hear you.
I couldn't find a phone. - Okay.
I'll make the call to Moscow.
They told me to say you're all dead
but you're not
What do I tell people?
What do I say?
You have to do what the trafficker said. Keep it secret.
But - I'll try to figure out a way to meet.
I'll let you know. Take care of yourself.
Okay, bye.
It took years before I could
visit my siblings in Stockholm.
It was very lonely and frustrating.
The fear of getting caught and being sent back was so strong
that I couldn't tell the truth. There were lots of consequences:
I couldn't be myself.
It was really painful.
Most people can't even begin to imagine
how fleeing like that affects you
what it means for your relationships with other people
how much it destroys you...
There were things I couldn't say about my family,
like that I had siblings in Sweden, and that my mother was alive,
because it didn't fit my background story.
There were always constraints.
Things had to be adjusted, retained, and suppressed.
So, what did you want to talk about? - I'd like some medicine.
Okay, you'll have to see the doctor, but I can make an appointment.
What's wrong? - We spoke about it last time
the thing about me being attracted to men.
Oh Oh, that, yes. - I'd like some medicine.
What do you mean?
I want to get well.
I don't want to like men.
It's not that I considered it a disease,
but I thought it could be cured,
that it was something that could be cured.
But she told me that it wasn't that simple.
Okay, forget it. It's something that I have to live with:
the fear of being rejected by your family
for being gay, because it wasn't acceptable.
Family meant a lot to me then, yet I was all alone in Denmark.
Little brother, you're finally here!
It was the only reference point in our frigging, crazy lives.
The thought of losing that was very scary.
I didn't want to do anything that I might regret later.
When are you going to find a girlfriend?
Aren't the girls in Denmark pretty?
Maybe I should come help you out. I'm sure I could find one for you.
I didn't dare tell my brother. I was in Stockholm,
and I had no plans to tell him, but it just happened.
He kept pestering me about not having a girlfriend.
Finally, I felt so intimidated that I said: I said in front of everyone.
"I don't have a girlfriend because
I'm not interested in girls that way."
Everyone went completely quiet.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Have you ever been with a girl?
Amin, let's go.
Where are we going? - Just come.
Come.
Tell me what's going on. - You'll see.
Go on. Have fun.
There's nothing to worry about. We always knew.
Thank you.
Can I help you? What would you like?
There I was. My first time at a gay club, all by myself
and I didn't go home.
I always made my career a priority.
When forced to choose between a guy or a career and an education,
I always chose an education. Cold and cynical.
Please welcome our next speaker: Amin Nawabi.
First of all, I'd like to say that...
My siblings sacrificed so much for me.
I had to do well. I felt I had a huge responsibility.
It was important to be tough.
Only now, that I'm telling you about it,
do I start to realize how hard it's been.
It hurts to think back on it.
Of course.
Being back in the US
I'm starting to get really tired of constantly being on the move.
It's good for my career,
but it's not that good for me. - It's not that good for you.
It's not that good for me.
The first time I interviewed you back home, you mentioned
that there were some things you needed to come to terms with.
You grow up. You grow up too fast.
When you flee as a child,
it takes time to learn
to trust people.
You're constantly on your guard, all the time
all the time.
Even when you're in a safe place, you're on your guard.
I can feel that something needs to happen.
Ta-da!
I'm not going to carry you over the threshold.
You'd rather carry a cactus instead? - It's kind of the same.
Right.
I'm just going to put this away.
It's a little - Yeah.
Look at the view. It's stunning.
Every time you look at it, you're just like, "Wow!"'
The garden is really beautiful right now.
I wonder if we have enough stuff to fill the place.
Honey, I think I saw a big raspberry. Look there.
The patch just outside the lot.
Look! That's all raspberries! - Wow!
It's so nice. - We just need to look after it.
It's wet here. - You can see it from here.
The view of the house is better here.