WEBVTT
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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please welcome to the stage
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the one, the only, the man,
the myth, the legend,
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Mr. Zakir Khan!
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This is great!
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Sit down. Sit down.
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Thank you so much.
A lot of love to all of you.
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Give yourselves a big round of applause.
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The show's called Papa Yaar.
How many of you already knew that?
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Now, how many of you have actually
brought your father with you tonight?
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Okay, okay, okay.
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So, to all the dads who are here tonight,
wherever you're sitting,
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let me assure you
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by the end of the show,
you'll be celebrated.
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But the next two hours are going to be
a little rough.
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So no unnecessary dad behavior like,
"What's going on here?"
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This isn't your house, okay?
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People often say
fathers are like coconuts.
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Hard on the outside, and on the inside?
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Soft.
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Maybe yours are.
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Mine somehow missed
the "soft on the inside" part.
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I don't know at what age I'll finally
stop being terrified of that man.
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Just last week I was in Indore,
lying on the couch watching TV.
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My dad… came back from the market.
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There are some traumas
triggered by specific sounds.
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One is the sound of his scooter.
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The other is the sound
of our front gate opening.
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I don't know what happened to me.
I switched off the TV and grabbed a book.
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Am I taking any exams?
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Are my exams due?
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And yet, I'm still scared of this man.
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My relationship
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with my father went downhill
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when I was five.
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It was not like we were having
meaningful conversations
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before that anyway.
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Here's what happened.
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One day, my father had to visit the home
of a very senior government officer.
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He was like, "I need someone
with a mature personality."
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"Should I take Zakir with me?"
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So my mom requested me,
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and was like, "He's an okay guy.
He's my husband after all."
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"He's your father,
and we're living in his house too."
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"Go with him, if you feel like it."
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So I went out with my dad
for the first time, without my mom.
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To someone else's house.
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Every house has it's own fragrance.
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Its own atmosphere.
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And that's the best part of childhood,
you're observing so much.
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The tiniest details,
like, "What's this color?"
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"What's that? What's this? What's that?"
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Man, the guy whose house we went to
was such a fool, I can't even tell you.
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That day I learned
a very important lesson in life.
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Just because someone's successful
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or holds a big government position,
or their business took off,
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doesn't mean they're not an idiot.
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Men have this weird belief
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that once they become successful,
nobody will ever call them an idiot again.
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Maybe not to your face.
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Right?
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Behind your back, they still do.
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Some people think
that because their business is doing well
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or they cleared some big exam,
the sun now shines out of their ass.
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Being successful is a different genre,
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being a better human being
is a different genre.
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You still have to work
on your personality, right?
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You'll have to check your ego every day.
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"What am I doing?
Am I doing this the right way?" Right?
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Now this big grown man picking
on a five-year-old kid
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for absolutely no reason.
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He asks me, "What is your name?"
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I said, "My name is Zakir Khan."
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He goes, "No, you should say…"
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He just said 'No.'
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How does my own name become wrong, man?
It's my name!
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Then he says, "No. You should say
your name is Master Zakir Khan."
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I was like, "Get lost, man."
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And his wife,
what a beautiful, dynamic woman.
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We've all seen couples like that.
They're everywhere in society.
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A complete loser, dumb husband
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and this incredibly dynamic, polished,
intelligent, amazing woman. Right?
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You've seen that couple?
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What did we learn from that, folks?
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If the matchmaker is good,
anything is possible. Right?
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She served tea and coffee
and all that to the grown-ups.
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Then she noticed
there's a kid accompanying,
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so she brought me my own plate
filled with Bourbon biscuits.
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I'd never seen Bourbon biscuits before.
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I thought
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this is what drugs are.
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Now here's the problem, guys.
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Before leaving the house,
Mom had warned me,
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"If someone offers you food,
don't just start gobbling it up."
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So I had to maintain
at least a little decorum.
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So, very quietly, without anyone noticing,
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I started counting the biscuits
on my fingers.
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Who's going to notice that?
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One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
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I picked up and ate one biscuit.
My mind was blown.
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I couldn't process it.
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Now I have to eat one more.
Only then I'll be able to process it.
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How many biscuits are left now?
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No idea.
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I only know how to count.
I didn't know addition or subtraction yet.
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So I have to start all over again.
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What else am I supposed to do?
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Every age has its own issues.
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So I started counting again.
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One, two, three, four, five, six…
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Seven.
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This time I ate it slowly,
devouring each bite.
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Now here's the problem, folks.
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I'd already eaten
two biscuits back to back.
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I can't just go straight for a third one.
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Right?
You should atleast wait for five minutes.
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Five minutes must've passed by now.
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It's been five minutes, right?
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It's been five minutes, no?
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I can have another one now, right?
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Now how many biscuits are left?
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No idea. No idea.
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He talks about counting again,
not eating another biscuit.
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From the beginning.
One, two, three, four…
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That's when this idiot goes,
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"Hey, son, why are you counting
every biscuit before you eat it, huh?"
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"I've been watching you this whole time.
Doing one, two, three, four."
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"Just enjoy them! We'll get you more!"
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I was like, "You villian."
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"You absolute moron."
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"Saying such things
in front of strangers?"
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"If you'd said it in front of my mom,
I could've handled it."
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"But why did you have to say it
in front of my dad?"
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"Do you think
I am on talking terms with him?"
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Dad just stared at me like
he was about to reduce me to ashes.
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And then, to make things worse,
once home, he told the entire family.
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He's like, "Stupid boy!"
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"The whole family has to chase him around
with food just to get him to eat."
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"I take him out once, and he's counting
and eating biscuits. Shameless boy!"
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Dad just kept scolding me
and scolding me and scolding me.
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The problem is I've had ADD
or ADHD-type issues since I was a kid.
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If you keep talking for too long,
you're the one getting tired.
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I have mentally checked out already.
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My attention is on this bug
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which is black in the front
and red in the back.
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"How many legs does it have?
One, two, three, four, five, six…"
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"And how many do I have?
I've only got one, two, three, four."
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"So when do my other two legs grow out?"
I'm thinking about these things.
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But folks, you have to live in this world.
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You're living in their house.
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So if the man's putting
this much effort into yelling at you,
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the least you can do
is make a crying face.
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Even if you don't
actually feel like crying.
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You just lock into one note…
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In the meantime, the bug flew away
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and my attention shifted.
"Oh, there it goes."
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"It flew away."
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Then someone said,
"Hey, why is he sitting on the floor?"
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Round Two. Dad came in with all the stuff.
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A jar of sugar. A packet of biscuits.
A packet of chocolates.
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And he dumped everything into my lap.
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"There! This is
what you went crazy over, right?"
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The chocolates and biscuits scattered.
The sugar jar stayed in my lap.
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I do like sugar.
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He goes, "This is what you lost your mind
over. You embarrassed me there!"
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"Now eat! Go on, eat! Eat!
Stuff yourself! Eat! Eat! Eat!"
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There are a lot of dads here tonight,
so I'll say this to your faces.
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Maybe you guys are wonderful
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but your choice of words is awful.
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When someone talks to you that badly,
of course you're going to cry. Right?
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So I went…
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Am I doing something wrong?
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I'm just doing
what you told me to do, am I not?
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And then he just goes into denial.
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He says, "Look! Look at your son!"
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What do you mean, your son?
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I'm not eating on my own,
I'm eating because you told me to!
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That day was enough.
To this day, I don't trust this man.
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Inconsistent fellow.
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He cannot make up his mind
and then gets mad because I ate.
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Dads have this thing,
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every 3 months,
dads get a chest congestion.
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Not cough, but an hour long speech.
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And the title of that speech is always,
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"I've given you facilities
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that even Elon Musk doesn't
give his kids!"
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"I never had any of this."
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"Because I was
the poor farmer Hariya's son."
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"I had to crawl 900 kilometers
on my elbows,
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cross rivers of acid,
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swim through crocodile-infested ponds,
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climb over barbed wire,
walk through dragon fire
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just to get to school."
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:09.480 align:center
"One day the crocodiles ate both my legs."
00:10:09.560 --> 00:10:11.600 align:center
"Yet, I did not stop, I did not give up,
I did not get tired."
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"I flew up in the air and reached school."
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"The teachers were stunned."
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"'Son, you don't even have legs.
How did you make it to school?'"
00:10:17.400 --> 00:10:21.120 align:center
"I said, 'Ma'am, my passion for learning
brought me all the way here.'"
00:10:24.280 --> 00:10:25.320 align:center
Don't…
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Don't over-appreciate their stories.
00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:32.280 align:center
Deep down, even I knew the story was fake.
00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:34.640 align:center
But the problem is
I was living in his house.
00:10:36.760 --> 00:10:38.240 align:center
So I thought…
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Just listen.
00:10:40.040 --> 00:10:43.280 align:center
Whether the story's true or not,
I'm still living under his roof.
00:10:43.800 --> 00:10:45.000 align:center
Why disagree?
00:10:45.640 --> 00:10:46.960 align:center
So I decided,
00:10:47.040 --> 00:10:49.560 align:center
let me praise him a little.
That way nothing comes back on me.
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I will not cross-question him.
00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:52.880 align:center
Like, "How exactly
did you swim across" and all that.
00:10:53.560 --> 00:10:55.760 align:center
Just use minimum words.
I just said, "Amazing, Dad."
00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.000 align:center
Safe? Safe? Safe?
00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:00.680 align:center
And this man somehow turned that
against me.
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He goes, "Of course, I am amazing."
00:11:04.600 --> 00:11:07.160 align:center
He said, "When will I ever get to say,
'Amazing, Son'?"
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Tell me, is he a trustworthy man?
00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:17.640 align:center
"We feed you the best food."
00:11:17.720 --> 00:11:19.640 align:center
"We get you everything…"
00:11:19.720 --> 00:11:20.760 align:center
"You ask for."
00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:23.480 align:center
"Last birthday,
you said you wanted skates."
00:11:23.560 --> 00:11:26.040 align:center
No, I didn't.
I asked for those five birthdays ago.
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"Go ask your classmates.
Nobody has skates as nice as yours."
00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:33.560 align:center
"But what happened?"
00:11:34.520 --> 00:11:35.840 align:center
"They're still sitting
on top of the cupboard."
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"Huh?"
00:11:37.880 --> 00:11:39.000 align:center
"Covered in cobwebs."
00:11:39.800 --> 00:11:40.760 align:center
"Huh?"
00:11:40.840 --> 00:11:42.640 align:center
"Huh? Huh?"
00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:43.840 align:center
"Huh?"
00:11:44.640 --> 00:11:45.880 align:center
Dads have this fantasy
00:11:45.960 --> 00:11:47.400 align:center
that while they're scolding you,
00:11:47.480 --> 00:11:48.800 align:center
you should actively participate.
00:11:49.800 --> 00:11:51.200 align:center
I mean, if he's yelling,
you'll listen quietly
00:11:51.280 --> 00:11:53.200 align:center
or will you jump in,
"Yes, you are right, Dad!"
00:11:53.720 --> 00:11:55.560 align:center
"Oh my God!
Dad, what an incredible observation!"
00:11:55.640 --> 00:11:57.200 align:center
"Yes! They do have cobwebs on them!"
00:11:57.720 --> 00:12:00.000 align:center
Man, a normal person just stands there
and listens.
00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:04.320 align:center
"At least you could've learned to skate.
It would've made me feel better
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that at least my kid knows how to skate."
00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:10.880 align:center
"But no. You set 9,000 rupees on fire."
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:13.080 align:center
"You flushed 9,000 rupees
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down the drain."
00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.680 align:center
Sir, please pick one.
00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.640 align:center
Either I set it on fire
or flushed it away. It can't be both.
00:12:23.040 --> 00:12:24.920 align:center
And then,
you can't even take him anywhere.
00:12:25.880 --> 00:12:28.520 align:center
One time, in the seventh grade,
he came to school for the PTM.
00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:32.000 align:center
This man grabbed my hand
and dragged me to Class fifth D.
00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:35.280 align:center
He didn't even know what class I was in.
00:12:36.520 --> 00:12:39.240 align:center
I had to stop him at the classroom door.
"Dad, I'm in seventh grade."
00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:42.280 align:center
He goes, "Earlier it used to be here."
00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:47.280 align:center
No father ever admits their mistakes.
00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:55.720 align:center
Sorry, sir. Sorry.
00:12:59.520 --> 00:13:01.840 align:center
And it's not like
my dad is uniquely like this.
00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:05.440 align:center
The entire species is the same.
00:13:08.400 --> 00:13:10.600 align:center
Okay, I see a few moms here too.
00:13:10.680 --> 00:13:13.440 align:center
You're all enjoying
that the dads are getting roasted.
00:13:13.520 --> 00:13:14.800 align:center
Relax. I'm coming for you too.
00:13:15.640 --> 00:13:18.560 align:center
I'll come to you.
You're not exactly saints yourselves.
00:13:21.640 --> 00:13:23.800 align:center
This was back in twelfth grade.
My childhood friend Kuntal,
00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:24.880 align:center
some of you might know him.
00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.040 align:center
So in the twelfth grade,
one day Kuntal said,
00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:30.440 align:center
"We've never done a night stay."
00:13:30.520 --> 00:13:33.040 align:center
"Come over Saturday.
We'll stay up all night studying."
00:13:33.760 --> 00:13:34.920 align:center
This was on a Tuesday.
00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:37.640 align:center
So we made the plan for Saturday.
00:13:38.760 --> 00:13:40.880 align:center
Folks, I need some technical help
from you here.
00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:42.720 align:center
Do we ever have a direct conversation
with our dads?
00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:43.920 align:center
No.
00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:45.200 align:center
What's the proper procedure?
00:13:45.280 --> 00:13:47.440 align:center
We tell Mom. Mom talks to Dad.
00:13:47.520 --> 00:13:48.960 align:center
And Dad says no.
00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:54.320 align:center
Remember this, folks.
Our moms are only our moms part-time.
00:13:55.320 --> 00:13:57.520 align:center
Full-time, they're Team Husband.
00:14:00.520 --> 00:14:02.320 align:center
If something's bothering you
or troubling you,
00:14:02.400 --> 00:14:04.280 align:center
if you need to vent
or share your feelings,
00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:05.640 align:center
tell a rickshaw driver.
00:14:07.160 --> 00:14:09.280 align:center
Don't ever tell your mom.
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:11.280 align:center
Never share with her.
00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.880 align:center
Zero trust.
She's an absolutely zero-trust person.
00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:16.840 align:center
Minimum trust.
00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:21.160 align:center
Tuesday came. I told this lady,
00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:24.000 align:center
"Talk to your husband."
00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:26.600 align:center
My mom says, "Sure."
00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:28.680 align:center
"Will you drop me at Smita Aunty's house?"
00:14:28.760 --> 00:14:30.480 align:center
Guys, is this a business deal or not?
00:14:30.560 --> 00:14:32.840 align:center
- Yes.
- Are we in a deal here or not?
00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:33.800 align:center
Yes.
00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:37.080 align:center
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
I was slaving for this woman.
00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:40.480 align:center
It's fine. I swallowed my pride.
No problem.
00:14:40.560 --> 00:14:41.800 align:center
It's okay.
00:14:41.880 --> 00:14:43.560 align:center
Saturday, everything will go smoothly.
00:14:44.280 --> 00:14:46.680 align:center
Where are the moms here? Raise your hands.
00:14:47.560 --> 00:14:48.440 align:center
Guys,
00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:50.840 align:center
Saturday morning,
she let her husband free.
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:56.880 align:center
What exactly did I pay for then?
00:14:57.840 --> 00:14:59.720 align:center
Why is the promise not being delivered?
00:15:00.880 --> 00:15:02.560 align:center
She wouldn't leave her husband
for even a second.
00:15:02.640 --> 00:15:04.680 align:center
Peeling garlic beside him.
Chopping ginger beside him.
00:15:04.760 --> 00:15:07.960 align:center
The man's got onion fumes in his face.
But she goes on and on.
00:15:08.040 --> 00:15:10.120 align:center
She didn't bother
to take two minutes and talk to me.
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:12.440 align:center
Guys, tell me if you agree.
00:15:12.520 --> 00:15:14.840 align:center
Tone matches tone.
Rhythm matches rhythm. Right?
00:15:14.920 --> 00:15:17.120 align:center
If I walk into a room and say, "Hello."
00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:19.160 align:center
- How'd you respond?
- Hello.
00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:20.960 align:center
Right? But if you're in a room,
00:15:21.040 --> 00:15:23.200 align:center
and I peek in through the door,
00:15:23.280 --> 00:15:25.640 align:center
look at only you and quietly go, "Mom."
00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:30.440 align:center
How can its response be, "Huh?"
00:15:32.840 --> 00:15:33.920 align:center
I mean…
00:15:38.800 --> 00:15:40.720 align:center
Due to this, her husband notices.
00:15:40.800 --> 00:15:41.640 align:center
He goes, "What happened?"
00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:43.600 align:center
She goes, "I don't know.
You only ask him."
00:15:48.520 --> 00:15:51.160 align:center
I'd heard of stabbing in the back,
but she hit me with a bulldozer.
00:15:53.240 --> 00:15:55.120 align:center
Now I had to explain myself unnecessarily.
00:15:55.920 --> 00:15:59.080 align:center
And sit through another lecture
about barbed wires,
00:15:59.160 --> 00:16:03.040 align:center
dragons breathing fire,
crocodiles eating his legs,
00:16:03.640 --> 00:16:05.440 align:center
about the 11,000 rupee skates
he bought me.
00:16:05.520 --> 00:16:07.040 align:center
and how I wasted 11,000 rupees.
00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:09.040 align:center
- What?
- 9,000.
00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:10.800 align:center
Are you people crazy?
00:16:11.800 --> 00:16:13.160 align:center
The amount goes up every year.
00:16:13.880 --> 00:16:16.320 align:center
That's compounding.
What are you talking about, man?
00:16:23.800 --> 00:16:25.560 align:center
At 3:00 p.m., I reached Kuntal's place.
00:16:26.520 --> 00:16:28.120 align:center
We chatted about girls for a while.
00:16:29.040 --> 00:16:31.160 align:center
I mean, whatever there was to talk about.
00:16:31.760 --> 00:16:34.040 align:center
At 3:30 p.m., we opened our books
and started studying.
00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:36.720 align:center
Ten minutes later, he looked at me,
I looked at him and he said,
00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:38.440 align:center
"Let's go for a bike ride."
00:16:38.520 --> 00:16:39.840 align:center
"We'll come back,
00:16:39.920 --> 00:16:41.800 align:center
we'll come back
and study with a fresh mind."
00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:43.960 align:center
With what mind are we going to study?
00:16:44.040 --> 00:16:45.320 align:center
Fresh.
00:16:45.400 --> 00:16:46.920 align:center
Any students in the house?
Give me a cheer.
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.040 align:center
If you want to succeed in life,
take my advice.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:52.920 align:center
Start studying with an unfresh mind.
00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:56.280 align:center
My life fell apart
because of this attitude.
00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:59.720 align:center
I kept waiting for my mind to feel fresh.
00:16:59.800 --> 00:17:01.920 align:center
It never did. So neither did the studying.
00:17:03.880 --> 00:17:06.240 align:center
I said, "Okay."
Kuntal had just bought a new bike.
00:17:06.320 --> 00:17:08.280 align:center
And when a teenager gets a new bike,
00:17:08.360 --> 00:17:10.440 align:center
their mental balance shifts a little.
00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:13.520 align:center
Their mental state gets disturbed.
00:17:13.599 --> 00:17:15.640 align:center
They have no idea what to do with it.
00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:17.400 align:center
"Should I ride it into the bathroom?"
00:17:19.560 --> 00:17:20.960 align:center
Around 4 p.m.,
00:17:21.040 --> 00:17:22.359 align:center
we went out on Kuntal's bike
00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:24.440 align:center
for a quick ride
of just ten-fifteen minutes.
00:17:28.760 --> 00:17:30.480 align:center
Then at 12:30 at night…
00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:34.400 align:center
we were 200 kilometers outside Indore…
00:17:37.120 --> 00:17:39.360 align:center
having tea at a roadside dhaba.
00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:43.600 align:center
That's when Kuntal's mom called,
"Where are you?"
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:45.120 align:center
I said, "We are nearby, Aunty."
00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:46.400 align:center
"Where's Kuntal?"
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:48.680 align:center
I said, "Right here."
She goes, "Put him on."
00:17:48.760 --> 00:17:51.560 align:center
Now, a mother is worried, stressed.
Should I hand him the phone or not?
00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:53.440 align:center
Those who agree, say yes!
00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:54.920 align:center
Yes.
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:57.080 align:center
- Those who don't, say no.
- No.
00:17:57.160 --> 00:17:58.760 align:center
The people who said yes, let me tell you,
00:17:59.320 --> 00:18:01.280 align:center
you had a great upbringing.
00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:04.520 align:center
But what a boring childhood you had.
00:18:05.080 --> 00:18:06.240 align:center
Boring.
00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:09.440 align:center
No, you can't hand him the phone.
00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:12.320 align:center
Because Kuntal did not reach my house
as many times
00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:14.000 align:center
as the number of times
he left for my house.
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:23.400 align:center
I said, "We're almost there, Aunty.
Almost there. Almost there."
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.720 align:center
We covered 200 kilometers
in two hours and twenty minutes.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:29.520 align:center
When I got off the bike,
my hands stayed like this.
00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:34.240 align:center
Aunty was waiting at the door.
It seemed like she was going to thrash us.
00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:36.400 align:center
Just as we reached, she goes,
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:39.280 align:center
"Where were you?
You could've at least told me."
00:18:40.080 --> 00:18:42.040 align:center
"He's asking me.
What am I supposed to say?"
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:46.480 align:center
"I don't even know where my own son is!
At least tell me before you disappear."
00:18:50.760 --> 00:18:52.440 align:center
Tell you where we went?
00:18:53.320 --> 00:18:55.920 align:center
So you can run and tell your husband?
00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:58.600 align:center
So that it ruins
whatever fun we're having.
00:18:59.560 --> 00:19:01.320 align:center
Yeah, right. Nice try.
00:19:02.120 --> 00:19:03.280 align:center
Brown-nosing woman.
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:07.400 align:center
I told her the story we all know.
00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:11.440 align:center
I said, "Aunty, actually
when we were coming, just before our eyes,
00:19:11.520 --> 00:19:12.600 align:center
we saw an accident."
00:19:13.960 --> 00:19:15.440 align:center
She said, "What accident?"
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.800 align:center
Kuntal says, "Huh? There was an accident?"
00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:20.480 align:center
With old friends,
you don't pre-plan the story.
00:19:20.560 --> 00:19:21.720 align:center
You just go with the flow.
00:19:21.800 --> 00:19:23.440 align:center
Kuntal thought he could add something too.
00:19:24.560 --> 00:19:25.720 align:center
So he goes,
00:19:25.800 --> 00:19:27.520 align:center
"Yeah, Mom, actually a bridge collapsed."
00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:31.720 align:center
I was like, "Huh?"
00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:34.040 align:center
"The bridge collapsed?"
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:36.040 align:center
"The whole bridge?"
00:19:37.760 --> 00:19:39.240 align:center
But the rule
of friendship is simple, guys.
00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:41.080 align:center
If your buddy says the bridge collapsed
then the bridge…
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:42.120 align:center
Collapsed!
00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:43.400 align:center
If your buddy says
we have to do this, then…
00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:44.640 align:center
You have to do it.
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:47.480 align:center
So I said, "Yeah, Aunty.
A bus fell into the gorge too."
00:19:48.320 --> 00:19:50.920 align:center
Well, of course it did.
The bus had to fall in the gorge.
00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.440 align:center
Aunty burst into tears.
00:19:55.520 --> 00:19:57.280 align:center
She grabbed us by the collar,
dragged us inside,
00:19:57.360 --> 00:19:58.480 align:center
went to the kitchen, came back.
00:19:58.560 --> 00:20:01.000 align:center
She says, "Do you know
why that bridge collapsed?"
00:20:01.080 --> 00:20:02.400 align:center
I said, "The engineer?"
00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:03.760 align:center
"The cement? The contractor?"
00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:05.640 align:center
She said, "No!"
00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:09.040 align:center
"Ever since Kuntal's father got promoted,
00:20:09.600 --> 00:20:13.080 align:center
his sister and his brother's wife are
burning with jealousy."
00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:15.560 align:center
"They are perfoming black magic on us."
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:18.400 align:center
"They are doing voodoo
on my house every day, dear."
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:20.200 align:center
"Sometimes we find bangles.
00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:22.640 align:center
"Sometimes lemons."
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:26.120 align:center
"To everyone wishing my family harm,
may you be ruined!"
00:20:28.800 --> 00:20:29.920 align:center
Friends,
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.240 align:center
every family has
that one person doing black magic.
00:20:34.600 --> 00:20:36.240 align:center
She's always your father's sister,
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:38.880 align:center
your father's sister-in-law,
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:42.080 align:center
your mother's sister-in-law
and your paternal grandma.
00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:46.360 align:center
But that person is never your mom's sister
or your maternal grandma.
00:20:53.800 --> 00:20:56.000 align:center
That's the narrative
that your moms have spread.
00:20:56.600 --> 00:20:58.560 align:center
Except for their own mother and sister,
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:00.360 align:center
everyone else is evil, dear!
00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:05.600 align:center
Guys, you all know
00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:08.240 align:center
how hard your maternal uncle worked
to build his career. Right?
00:21:09.280 --> 00:21:11.040 align:center
But your paternal uncle? Total scoundrel.
00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:17.440 align:center
Around 3:30 a.m., we had dinner.
00:21:17.520 --> 00:21:19.640 align:center
By 4 a.m., we finally opened our books.
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:21.320 align:center
Kuntal looked at me.
00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:23.200 align:center
Ten minutes later, I looked at him.
He said,
00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:24.280 align:center
"In the morning,
00:21:25.280 --> 00:21:26.200 align:center
with fresh mind…"
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:30.960 align:center
So we went to sleep.
00:21:31.960 --> 00:21:34.240 align:center
Seven in the morning,
there was a kick on the door. Bang!
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:36.560 align:center
The villain enters.
00:21:38.360 --> 00:21:39.440 align:center
It was a single bed.
00:21:39.520 --> 00:21:42.280 align:center
I was sleeping against the wall.
Kuntal was on the outside.
00:21:42.360 --> 00:21:44.320 align:center
I opened my eyes.
00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:48.920 align:center
Kuntal's dad took three giant steps
and was standing over us.
00:21:50.840 --> 00:21:52.120 align:center
Zero communication.
00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:57.040 align:center
He yanked his hair and pulled him up.
00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:01.400 align:center
That's where I first understood
the definition of a right angle triangle.
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:08.560 align:center
Direct question.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:10.920 align:center
Quote-unquote, true story, guys.
I'm not making this up.
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:13.040 align:center
He said, "You rascal.
My wife may be innocent,
00:22:13.120 --> 00:22:14.480 align:center
but I'm not an idiot."
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:18.240 align:center
"A bridge collapses in this city
and it doesn't make the newspaper?"
00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:20.720 align:center
Valid question.
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:23.160 align:center
Like father, like son.
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:26.640 align:center
Kuntal goes, "Dad, the bridge collapsed
late at night."
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:29.240 align:center
"Till then the papers had…"
00:22:29.320 --> 00:22:31.160 align:center
Already gone to print.
00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:32.640 align:center
"Already gone to print."
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:34.880 align:center
I thought it was a good answer.
Genius answer.
00:22:35.600 --> 00:22:37.120 align:center
Made sense to me. Not to Uncle.
00:22:38.320 --> 00:22:40.120 align:center
He started beating him right there.
00:22:40.800 --> 00:22:43.320 align:center
Grabbed him by the hair,
turned into Singham. One. Two. Three.
00:22:44.800 --> 00:22:48.080 align:center
Now, guys, I want you to track
my geographical location.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.320 align:center
I'm a guest in this house.
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:54.880 align:center
Guests have a certain respect.
And the host is supposed to show him that.
00:22:56.520 --> 00:22:57.760 align:center
The guest here,
00:22:57.840 --> 00:22:59.320 align:center
is lying here.
00:23:00.520 --> 00:23:02.040 align:center
And the host
00:23:02.120 --> 00:23:05.120 align:center
is getting beaten up right here.
Right next to me.
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:09.320 align:center
I mean, if the guest breathes too hard,
he'll also receive the beating.
00:23:10.840 --> 00:23:13.400 align:center
So I played dead.
00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:16.440 align:center
I'd learned this back in third grade.
00:23:16.520 --> 00:23:18.360 align:center
If you see a bear, don't run.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:21.280 align:center
Play dead.
00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:30.080 align:center
Ten minutes later,
despite the brutal beating,
00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:33.120 align:center
Kuntal walked back in,
still fixing his hair.
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:37.240 align:center
That guy was built different.
Nothing embarrases him anymore.
00:23:41.320 --> 00:23:43.520 align:center
He goes, "You want breakfast?"
00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:51.280 align:center
I said, "Put yourself
back together first."
00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:55.720 align:center
"Your leg's still over there."
00:23:56.440 --> 00:23:57.520 align:center
He goes, "Are you scared?"
00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:00.240 align:center
"This is Dad's way of showing love."
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:03.760 align:center
I said, "Your dad really loves you, man."
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:10.080 align:center
Monday passed. Tuesday passed.
We figured we were in the safe zone now.
00:24:10.760 --> 00:24:14.400 align:center
On Wednesday, Kuntal says,
"Mom made halwa. Wanna come over?"
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:17.160 align:center
Guys, I'd go to hell for the halwa.
00:24:18.120 --> 00:24:19.360 align:center
We reached his house.
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:22.080 align:center
They had this iron gate.
We'd always kick it open.
00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:24.840 align:center
It was a big iron gate.
We'd always kick it hard.
00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:27.720 align:center
Aunty would be sitting on the veranda.
I'd say, "Hi, Aunty."
00:24:28.520 --> 00:24:30.200 align:center
She'd greet me and head to the kitchen.
00:24:31.040 --> 00:24:33.120 align:center
That day, the same routine.
I kicked the gate open.
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:34.720 align:center
Just as I was about to greet her,
00:24:34.800 --> 00:24:37.560 align:center
I looked up, and it wasn't Aunty.
It was Uncle.
00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:41.920 align:center
Wearing a sleeveless vest,
revealing nipple line
00:24:43.320 --> 00:24:45.200 align:center
and blue checked lungi.
00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:51.960 align:center
Dark blue, light blue,
Dark blue, light blue.
00:24:52.040 --> 00:24:54.720 align:center
You got the idea, right?
Big checks, not the tiny ones.
00:24:56.120 --> 00:24:58.120 align:center
And spread out in front of him
00:24:58.200 --> 00:25:00.960 align:center
were Monday's, Tuesday's
and Wednesday's newspapers.
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:07.720 align:center
I looked at Kuntal
and I said, "I'm leaving."
00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:11.880 align:center
He goes, "Yeah, bro. Go ahead."
00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:18.160 align:center
If you kick the gate,
won't his Dad notice?
00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:21.440 align:center
Uncle goes, "Well, well, well.
The revolutionaries are here."
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:25.120 align:center
"The future of India has arrived.
Please come in."
00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:27.720 align:center
"Roll out the flowers for them.
Come on. Come on."
00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:30.200 align:center
One thing I need to tell dads.
00:25:30.280 --> 00:25:32.000 align:center
What is this way of talking to us?
00:25:33.360 --> 00:25:35.320 align:center
Even on our worst days,
they just taunt us.
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.840 align:center
I walked up, touched Uncle's feet,
"Greetings, Uncle."
00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:42.200 align:center
He goes, "Live long, Khan Sahab.
Live long."
00:25:42.760 --> 00:25:44.320 align:center
"So, Shah Rukh, Salman,
00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:46.760 align:center
come here."
00:25:46.840 --> 00:25:49.640 align:center
"Where's that bridge-collapse script
of yours?"
00:25:51.040 --> 00:25:53.080 align:center
I said, "What do you mean?"
00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:56.320 align:center
"I didn't get you."
00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.240 align:center
He goes, "You were out
all Saturday night."
00:26:00.840 --> 00:26:02.480 align:center
"The bridge collapsed, right?
Where is it?"
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:04.640 align:center
Kuntal jumps in, "Dad,
00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:07.560 align:center
the bridge really did collapse."
00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:09.680 align:center
I was like, "What the hell, man?"
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:13.400 align:center
I had no idea
where he was going with this.
00:26:15.080 --> 00:26:16.640 align:center
Even his dad looked confused, "So?"
00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:19.400 align:center
Then Kuntal goes,
"You know what our country's like."
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:24.320 align:center
I was like, why bring
the country into this now?
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.440 align:center
Uncle was shocked.
He took off his glasses.
00:26:29.720 --> 00:26:31.360 align:center
"What do you mean,
what our country's like?"
00:26:32.440 --> 00:26:33.720 align:center
Kuntal goes, "Dad,
00:26:33.800 --> 00:26:35.520 align:center
after the bridge collapsed
00:26:35.600 --> 00:26:37.360 align:center
the contractor bribed everyone,
00:26:38.360 --> 00:26:40.400 align:center
and completely…"
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:42.360 align:center
Buried the story.
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:46.280 align:center
I swear, there was respect
in Uncle's eyes for Kuntal.
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.520 align:center
For a second he was like,
"Is he actually my father?"
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:53.880 align:center
Even I felt like bowing down
at Kuntal's feet.
00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:56.560 align:center
Right then, Uncle stood up,
00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.560 align:center
pulled his belt out of his lungi…
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:02.760 align:center
and beat the life out of us.
00:27:02.840 --> 00:27:03.880 align:center
He's like, "You scoundrels!"
00:27:03.960 --> 00:27:05.800 align:center
"There's a limit to lying."
00:27:07.360 --> 00:27:09.600 align:center
"What bike racks up
600 kilometers in one week,
00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:10.960 align:center
just going to school?"
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.640 align:center
He belted us.
He really went to town on us.
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:17.480 align:center
After the beating, Kuntal asks,
00:27:17.560 --> 00:27:19.080 align:center
"You okay? You didn't feel bad, right?"
00:27:20.600 --> 00:27:22.120 align:center
I said, "No. Why?"
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:24.240 align:center
He goes, "You know what this means?"
I said, "What?"
00:27:24.320 --> 00:27:26.640 align:center
He's like,
"This means my dad loves you too."
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.120 align:center
I said…
00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:35.360 align:center
I said, "You know, I'd be perfectly fine
if your dad loved me a little less."
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:37.840 align:center
That trauma never healed.
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:40.080 align:center
Not because Uncle beat me.
That's not the trauma.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:42.280 align:center
It's okay, he's my friend's dad.
It happens.
00:27:43.360 --> 00:27:45.880 align:center
The real trauma?
I saw Uncle in his underwear.
00:27:47.160 --> 00:27:48.960 align:center
Who wears French-cut briefs, man?
00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:55.040 align:center
You know, school days were something else.
00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:57.680 align:center
Every street, every corner,
every square was yours.
00:27:57.760 --> 00:27:59.960 align:center
Every neighborhood, had a house
where you'd get fed.
00:28:00.040 --> 00:28:02.040 align:center
There's nothing like
growing up in your own town.
00:28:02.120 --> 00:28:03.080 align:center
Right?
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:04.720 align:center
Life is actually fun and games,
00:28:05.320 --> 00:28:07.440 align:center
till it is actually not.
00:28:07.520 --> 00:28:09.800 align:center
Ever notice that?
Life changes gears without warning.
00:28:09.880 --> 00:28:11.200 align:center
Goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,
00:28:11.280 --> 00:28:12.560 align:center
goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:13.720 align:center
debt!
00:28:16.560 --> 00:28:18.720 align:center
How the hell did that happen?
00:28:18.800 --> 00:28:20.560 align:center
I wasn't prepared for this.
00:28:21.520 --> 00:28:23.320 align:center
Nobody tells you
this is where life is headed.
00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:26.320 align:center
It happened to me too.
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:28.400 align:center
At the age of twenty,
I had to leave my hometown.
00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:29.800 align:center
How many of you have seen Tathastu?
00:28:31.640 --> 00:28:34.000 align:center
If you haven't, that's okay.
If you have, you know what I mean.
00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:36.320 align:center
I'd gotten a little too carried away.
I was kind of a gangster in Indore.
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:37.640 align:center
"Gangster" is a stretch.
00:28:37.720 --> 00:28:39.640 align:center
I just wanted to be famous in my city.
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:41.320 align:center
So I got a little carried away.
Dad did not know.
00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:42.600 align:center
He said, "You need to leave this city."
00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:44.720 align:center
So the plan was to send me to Delhi.
00:28:44.800 --> 00:28:46.640 align:center
That's when I thought,
"I could be a radio jockey."
00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:48.840 align:center
I went to Delhi. Checked out some courses.
00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:50.480 align:center
Came back,
00:28:50.560 --> 00:28:52.400 align:center
told Mom,
00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:54.280 align:center
"This is the cost of the course."
00:28:54.360 --> 00:28:55.480 align:center
"Tell your husband."
00:28:58.440 --> 00:29:00.000 align:center
A couple of days later, I got summoned.
00:29:01.120 --> 00:29:02.520 align:center
He goes, "Hey, come here."
00:29:02.600 --> 00:29:05.040 align:center
When you're 20,
you can't answer questions directly.
00:29:05.120 --> 00:29:07.400 align:center
It is your national duty to talk back.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:10.120 align:center
I said, "Yes?"
00:29:11.600 --> 00:29:12.640 align:center
"So,
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:14.720 align:center
how much?"
00:29:14.800 --> 00:29:17.400 align:center
I said, "I've got about seven
or eight hundred rupees."
00:29:20.520 --> 00:29:22.080 align:center
He goes, "Have some manners."
00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:25.000 align:center
"Answer properly."
00:29:25.080 --> 00:29:26.360 align:center
"I'm asking about the institute!"
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:28.120 align:center
Then ask the whole question, man,
00:29:28.200 --> 00:29:29.240 align:center
that what's cost of the course.
00:29:29.320 --> 00:29:31.280 align:center
Talking in half sentences,
and then blaming me.
00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:32.800 align:center
I said, "Oh, about that."
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:35.000 align:center
"The course is for six months.
It costs 80,000 rupees."
00:29:35.880 --> 00:29:37.440 align:center
He goes,
"Will they give you a proper receipt?"
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:41.360 align:center
I guess so.
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:44.400 align:center
What is this, a hardware store?
00:29:45.520 --> 00:29:47.200 align:center
Like I'm gonna pocket 300 bucks?
00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:51.440 align:center
Honestly, UPI ruined everything.
00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:53.920 align:center
It's true.
00:29:54.760 --> 00:29:57.440 align:center
I feel bad for kids today.
How do you even steal money anymore?
00:29:58.320 --> 00:29:59.560 align:center
What excuse do you give your parents?
00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:01.560 align:center
Everything's online now. What a disaster.
00:30:05.520 --> 00:30:07.480 align:center
I said, "I'm sure they'll give a receipt.
It's a big institute."
00:30:07.560 --> 00:30:09.800 align:center
Dad goes, "Dear, the whole city's talking
about your antics."
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:11.800 align:center
"How do I know
00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:14.320 align:center
you wont smoke away 80,000 rupees
in six months?"
00:30:17.720 --> 00:30:20.120 align:center
That one really hurt.
It hurt so much.
00:30:20.200 --> 00:30:22.640 align:center
Despite being my dad,
does he not know the rates?
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:30.080 align:center
I didn't say it out loud. Just thought it.
00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:34.160 align:center
Then he said the one thing
no son or daughter ever wants to hear.
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:36.840 align:center
He said to me,
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:39.840 align:center
"I'm coming with you."
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:50.720 align:center
And I gave the only sensible answer
any son or daughter would give.
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:53.000 align:center
"Let's take Mom too."
00:30:54.640 --> 00:30:57.440 align:center
I said, "Mom…" He goes, "Arbaz
and Zeeshan have exams. How can she go?"
00:30:57.520 --> 00:30:58.560 align:center
"It's just you and me, got it?"
00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:01.240 align:center
There's a saying that goes
that when Dad speaks, you shut up,
00:31:01.320 --> 00:31:02.560 align:center
and when Mom speaks,
you open up.
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:04.480 align:center
I couldn't say anything to Dad.
00:31:04.560 --> 00:31:07.160 align:center
So I went straight to Mom. "Mom,
00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:11.080 align:center
talk to your husband.
Why is he like this?"
00:31:11.760 --> 00:31:13.600 align:center
Instead of consoling me,
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:15.360 align:center
she started complaining,
00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:17.680 align:center
"I am the one stuck in the middle."
00:31:19.320 --> 00:31:21.120 align:center
"You say one thing. He says another."
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:22.960 align:center
"You both keep fighting."
00:31:23.040 --> 00:31:25.520 align:center
"The day I lose my mind,
I'll just get up and leave."
00:31:27.600 --> 00:31:28.560 align:center
Really?
00:31:29.600 --> 00:31:32.200 align:center
It's been twenty years.
She's still right here.
00:31:33.720 --> 00:31:37.120 align:center
She's still here,
yet she continues cribbing to me.
00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:39.040 align:center
I challenge her, "Go on, leave once."
00:31:39.840 --> 00:31:42.320 align:center
"We watch daily soap every day.
Why not base one episode on our family?"
00:31:43.800 --> 00:31:44.920 align:center
I'd love to see the promo.
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.560 align:center
"Will Ismail ever bring Kulsum back?"
00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:49.040 align:center
Am I right?
00:31:52.880 --> 00:31:53.960 align:center
In front of me, she puts on a performance.
00:31:54.040 --> 00:31:55.400 align:center
The second her husband walks in,
she springs to life,
00:31:55.480 --> 00:31:56.440 align:center
"Should I make you tea?"
00:31:57.680 --> 00:31:59.720 align:center
"Tea? Should I make tea? Tea?"
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:04.280 align:center
Flatterer.
00:32:07.600 --> 00:32:09.480 align:center
We booked a ticket for a few days later.
00:32:09.560 --> 00:32:10.640 align:center
You must know.
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:12.280 align:center
There are a lot of dads here.
00:32:12.360 --> 00:32:13.520 align:center
Sir, you must be aware.
00:32:13.600 --> 00:32:16.200 align:center
At the railway station
or the airport or the bus stand,
00:32:16.280 --> 00:32:19.600 align:center
if you reach four or five hours early,
you get some tax discount, right?
00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:22.000 align:center
Is that a thing? Tell me.
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:23.880 align:center
No?
00:32:23.960 --> 00:32:25.800 align:center
Then why do you go there so early?
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:29.280 align:center
What exactly are you getting out of it?
00:32:34.560 --> 00:32:36.880 align:center
We reached the station at 12:30.
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:41.040 align:center
The place was deserted. Just me and Dad,
watching a guy sweep the platform.
00:32:44.560 --> 00:32:47.200 align:center
Anyone ever traveled alone with your dad?
Give me a cheer?
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.160 align:center
The biggest downside
of traveling with dads is
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:54.320 align:center
the nonstop life lessons.
00:32:55.040 --> 00:32:56.240 align:center
They start the moment
you get to the station.
00:32:56.320 --> 00:32:58.400 align:center
"Coal engines are different.
Steam engines are different.
00:32:59.520 --> 00:33:01.880 align:center
"Meter gauge is different.
Broad gauge is different."
00:33:02.760 --> 00:33:06.040 align:center
And then comes the disclaimer.
"No one told me but I'm telling you."
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:09.560 align:center
Sir, skip it. Even you didn't know.
It probably wasn't that important.
00:33:10.280 --> 00:33:11.440 align:center
Let it go.
00:33:17.120 --> 00:33:18.360 align:center
Every dad has just one mission.
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:20.840 align:center
Turn their kid into a Roadies contestant.
00:33:22.520 --> 00:33:24.600 align:center
The train leaves at 4:20.
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:26.880 align:center
At 4:19, this man says to me,
00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:28.600 align:center
"Go get a bottle of water."
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:32.600 align:center
Could've said that earlier, Your Majesty.
00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:34.400 align:center
I've been sitting right here.
00:33:35.120 --> 00:33:37.160 align:center
The water stall looked like a riot.
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:38.720 align:center
People were fighting
with knives and daggers.
00:33:40.320 --> 00:33:42.120 align:center
I didn't buy that water bottle. I won it.
00:33:43.400 --> 00:33:44.400 align:center
I hopped onto a moving train.
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:47.960 align:center
And he's busy chatting with random people.
00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:50.280 align:center
Ten minutes later,
he asks the most pointless question.
00:33:50.360 --> 00:33:51.680 align:center
Wasted the universe's time.
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:56.000 align:center
I'm sitting right next to him. He goes,
00:33:56.080 --> 00:33:57.200 align:center
"So, young guy,
00:33:57.280 --> 00:33:58.400 align:center
did you get the water?"
00:33:59.320 --> 00:34:00.920 align:center
What am I holding then? Mango juice?
00:34:03.560 --> 00:34:05.040 align:center
I mean, I didn't say it out loud.
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:06.960 align:center
I just thought it.
00:34:07.040 --> 00:34:08.480 align:center
Then he asked, "How much was it?"
00:34:08.560 --> 00:34:10.440 align:center
I said, "Twenty rupees."
00:34:11.120 --> 00:34:12.280 align:center
He's like, "What's the MRP?"
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:25.719 align:center
I was trying to remember
if I had a five-rupee coin in my pocket.
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:29.920 align:center
I'd rather suffer loss myself
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:33.000 align:center
than sit through another lecture
over five rupees.
00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:36.920 align:center
But my luck, not a single five rupee coin.
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.159 align:center
He says, "What's the MRP?"
00:34:41.320 --> 00:34:42.800 align:center
I replied, "Fifteen rupees."
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:44.719 align:center
He, "So where are the five rupees?"
00:34:45.960 --> 00:34:47.360 align:center
I said, "He didn't give them."
00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:50.520 align:center
He's like, "He didn't give
or you didn't take them?"
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:52.639 align:center
What do you mean, "I didn't take them?"
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:54.199 align:center
What do you mean by that?
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:56.639 align:center
Like he was handing me the change,
"Sir, here's your five rupees."
00:34:56.719 --> 00:34:58.000 align:center
and I went, "Oh, hell no, man!"
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:01.800 align:center
"Giving me five rupees back?"
00:35:02.440 --> 00:35:04.800 align:center
"Please keep it.
Buy a ticket to Disneyland with it."
00:35:06.360 --> 00:35:09.440 align:center
"And if there's anything left,
save it for your daughter's
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:10.720 align:center
wedding."
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.920 align:center
He practically fell at my feet,
"You're too generous, sir!"
00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:16.400 align:center
I rode here on his shoulders, you know.
00:35:18.720 --> 00:35:20.280 align:center
Dad goes, "No respect for five rupees."
00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:22.320 align:center
"Always wasting money."
Wasting money?
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:25.000 align:center
That's wasting money?
That's a huge word for five rupees.
00:35:28.160 --> 00:35:30.840 align:center
Then came the lecture again.
"We walked to school on barbed wire."
00:35:32.720 --> 00:35:34.280 align:center
"Crossed rivers of acid."
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:37.480 align:center
"And I bought
you 13,000-rupee skates."
00:35:42.040 --> 00:35:46.320 align:center
Early the next morning, we reached Delhi.
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:49.080 align:center
It was around 6:30. He said,
"Come on. I'll buy you breakfast."
00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:51.440 align:center
I thought, nice. The man's feeding me.
He's a good man.
00:35:52.440 --> 00:35:54.840 align:center
We're walking. I'm a few steps ahead.
He calls from behind,
00:35:56.320 --> 00:35:57.400 align:center
I asked, "What happened, Dad?"
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.440 align:center
He goes, "The way you walk…"
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:05.040 align:center
He gave me feedback on walking.
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:07.560 align:center
Apparently I was walking wrong.
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:10.680 align:center
You mean I'm not putting
one foot after another correctly.
00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:12.360 align:center
Wow. Really, wow.
00:36:12.440 --> 00:36:15.080 align:center
Was I walking like this? Like this?
00:36:15.160 --> 00:36:16.400 align:center
Or like this?
00:36:18.280 --> 00:36:20.120 align:center
I wanted to have breakfast,
so I ignored it.
00:36:20.200 --> 00:36:21.760 align:center
Figured let him say whatever he wants.
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:23.760 align:center
Let's ignore him. Why say anything?
00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:25.880 align:center
I quietly ate my breakfast.
Then I noticed,
00:36:26.640 --> 00:36:29.120 align:center
he had a bite in his hand
and he was just staring at me.
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:31.720 align:center
That's when I knew.
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:34.400 align:center
I'd messed up chewing the food.
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.800 align:center
A man who gives feedback over walking
will definitely give feedback on chewing.
00:36:41.480 --> 00:36:43.400 align:center
So I started chewing thirty-two times.
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:46.120 align:center
One chew for every tooth.
00:36:48.200 --> 00:36:50.400 align:center
I again noticed that this man
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:52.520 align:center
is not eating and just staring at me.
00:36:52.600 --> 00:36:54.360 align:center
I started getting nervous
thinking he might slap me.
00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:56.640 align:center
So I finally asked,
00:36:56.720 --> 00:36:58.560 align:center
"What happened, Dad?
Why aren't you eating?"
00:36:58.640 --> 00:37:00.520 align:center
You know what he said?
"Nothing, son."
00:37:00.600 --> 00:37:03.200 align:center
"Watching you eat feels like I am eating."
00:37:06.560 --> 00:37:07.600 align:center
What 'oh'?
00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:11.160 align:center
Come on, Mom has been saying this
for twenty years.
00:37:13.400 --> 00:37:14.600 align:center
So, I said, "Dad,
00:37:14.680 --> 00:37:16.880 align:center
that's fine, but keep eating
with your hands too."
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:21.840 align:center
Was I wrong?
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:23.760 align:center
I mean, watching me eat
fills your stomach,
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:25.360 align:center
but keep feeding yourself too.
00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.080 align:center
You know, prayer does help in healing
00:37:27.160 --> 00:37:28.600 align:center
but you still have to take your medicine.
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:30.320 align:center
Right?
00:37:31.040 --> 00:37:33.240 align:center
He said, "I am eating. You eat. Just eat."
So I did.
00:37:33.800 --> 00:37:35.320 align:center
I kept eating.
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:37.920 align:center
When I looked up,
I saw Dad was wiping away tears.
00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:41.920 align:center
I'd never seen him cry before.
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:44.240 align:center
Dads don't cry.
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.680 align:center
Dads look right standing tall,
00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:47.720 align:center
scolding you, keeping you in line.
00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:49.960 align:center
A great man isn't one
who holds his head high.
00:37:50.040 --> 00:37:51.160 align:center
A great man is someone
00:37:51.240 --> 00:37:54.200 align:center
who makes his father walk with pride.
That's a great man.
00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:05.360 align:center
The first time
you see someone you love cry,
00:38:05.440 --> 00:38:07.080 align:center
you feel like setting the world on fire.
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:10.200 align:center
If a stranger cries, what's it to me?
00:38:16.040 --> 00:38:17.960 align:center
If it were my mom crying,
00:38:19.040 --> 00:38:20.400 align:center
that'd be different.
00:38:21.640 --> 00:38:24.080 align:center
But folks, basic human courtesy demands
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:27.000 align:center
that if someone's crying
right in front of you…
00:38:29.240 --> 00:38:31.800 align:center
So out of basic human decency, I asked,
00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:33.920 align:center
"What happened?"
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:36.680 align:center
He said, "Nothing, son."
00:38:37.200 --> 00:38:38.280 align:center
"Just that
00:38:39.240 --> 00:38:41.960 align:center
I remembered something your mom
and I were talking the other day."
00:38:42.560 --> 00:38:44.520 align:center
I asked, "About what?"
00:38:44.600 --> 00:38:46.720 align:center
"About how you are not coming back home."
00:38:50.200 --> 00:38:51.760 align:center
I said, "No, I will come back."
00:38:53.160 --> 00:38:55.560 align:center
He smiled. "Everyone thinks
that they'll come back."
00:38:56.440 --> 00:38:57.800 align:center
"But once you leave home,
00:38:57.880 --> 00:38:59.520 align:center
coming back isn't that easy."
00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:01.480 align:center
"This is the nature of a displacement.
00:39:01.560 --> 00:39:04.000 align:center
"At first, you can't come back
because you can't afford to."
00:39:04.080 --> 00:39:07.880 align:center
"And by the time you can,
all the doors leading back are closed."
00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:09.920 align:center
I said, "But Dad, I'm just studying."
00:39:11.320 --> 00:39:13.280 align:center
"After a while, I'll try to come home
every weekend."
00:39:13.880 --> 00:39:15.000 align:center
"Then after that,
00:39:15.080 --> 00:39:16.200 align:center
then comes the job."
00:39:16.920 --> 00:39:18.200 align:center
"And then
00:39:18.280 --> 00:39:20.040 align:center
Life gets busier."
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.400 align:center
"The number of days you visit decrease."
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:23.920 align:center
"Then you'll only come for festivals."
00:39:25.240 --> 00:39:26.720 align:center
"After a while, not even for those."
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:29.880 align:center
"You'll build a life in the big city."
00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:32.360 align:center
"And we'll grow old, waiting for you,
in the small town."
00:39:32.440 --> 00:39:33.640 align:center
"Our lives will become,
00:39:33.720 --> 00:39:35.760 align:center
'He came this Diwali.'
'He couldn't make it this year.'"
00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:37.440 align:center
"'He came for Eid.'
'He couldn't this time.'"
00:39:37.520 --> 00:39:38.760 align:center
"'Maybe he'll stay longer.'"
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:40.880 align:center
"'This time he's leaving too soon.'
'This time he's not coming at all.'"
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:43.440 align:center
"And one day, we'll die waiting."
00:39:44.200 --> 00:39:45.560 align:center
"That's life, son."
00:39:45.640 --> 00:39:47.520 align:center
"I couldn't stay with my parents either."
00:39:47.600 --> 00:39:48.640 align:center
"That's what people do."
00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:52.000 align:center
"We like to believe
that we've raised you in a way
00:39:52.080 --> 00:39:53.320 align:center
that you can stand on your own."
00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:56.240 align:center
"When you are home,
a lot of things get done for you."
00:39:56.880 --> 00:39:59.880 align:center
"Visiting a city and living there,
are two very different things."
00:40:00.440 --> 00:40:03.520 align:center
"When you're home, if you have
to leave early, we're awake all night."
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:07.560 align:center
"If you didn't like one thing,
your mom would cook four more."
00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:10.720 align:center
"From tomorrow, no one will
be here to check on you."
00:40:11.720 --> 00:40:13.160 align:center
"It'll just be you and the world."
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:15.360 align:center
"And the world isn't kind."
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:17.520 align:center
And then my dad broke down.
00:40:18.080 --> 00:40:19.400 align:center
Tears welled up in his eyes.
00:40:19.480 --> 00:40:21.880 align:center
And honestly, I was enjoying this.
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:34.360 align:center
I was laughing
not because he was crying.
00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:37.680 align:center
But because all the emotional things
he was saying
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:39.400 align:center
sounded like features to me.
00:40:41.200 --> 00:40:42.440 align:center
I mean, what are you saying?
00:40:43.200 --> 00:40:44.560 align:center
No one is going to pester me anymore.
00:40:46.440 --> 00:40:50.040 align:center
So, I can wake up if I want or sleep in?
00:40:50.120 --> 00:40:52.960 align:center
I can go out if I want,
or choose to stay at home.
00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:55.680 align:center
Sounds pretty good.
00:40:57.360 --> 00:40:58.680 align:center
We reached the institute.
00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:03.840 align:center
The first time I met the receptionist,
I had even asked her age.
00:41:05.240 --> 00:41:07.240 align:center
No matter how bad life gets,
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:08.800 align:center
the procedure needs to be followed.
00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:11.120 align:center
A process is a process is a…
00:41:11.200 --> 00:41:13.560 align:center
- Process.
- Girls in the house, give me a cheer.
00:41:15.160 --> 00:41:16.520 align:center
Let me tell you something.
00:41:16.600 --> 00:41:18.800 align:center
There's a guy who has a crush on you.
Perfectly harmless.
00:41:19.320 --> 00:41:21.160 align:center
Way below your league.
00:41:21.240 --> 00:41:22.600 align:center
You'd never date him.
00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:24.600 align:center
Okay?
00:41:24.680 --> 00:41:26.560 align:center
But the moment his parents show up,
00:41:27.640 --> 00:41:29.840 align:center
why do you start acting
like a perfect daughter-in-law?
00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:37.080 align:center
The receptionist put on such a show
in front of my dad.
00:41:37.160 --> 00:41:39.040 align:center
The only thing she didn't do
was cover her head.
00:41:39.640 --> 00:41:42.240 align:center
She was one step away from touching
his feet and receiving a gift.
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:44.680 align:center
"Uncle, don't worry.
We'll take great care of Zakir."
00:41:44.760 --> 00:41:47.040 align:center
"Don't worry, Uncle.
We'll look after him."
00:41:47.120 --> 00:41:49.800 align:center
My dad had caught my love letters
at the age of twelve.
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:52.720 align:center
He knew exactly what kind of guy I was.
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:55.600 align:center
He said, "Dear, don't take
too much care of him."
00:41:56.640 --> 00:41:58.320 align:center
"Or he'll start taking care of you."
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:00.840 align:center
"That won't end well for you."
00:42:01.560 --> 00:42:04.400 align:center
This is why I didn't want to bring him.
He says things like this in public.
00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:07.520 align:center
Then he gave his phone number
to the landlord,
00:42:07.600 --> 00:42:08.880 align:center
to the caretaker,
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:10.240 align:center
the guy who got me the room.
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:11.760 align:center
Not only this, he gave his number
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:13.400 align:center
to the water supplier, to the ironing guy.
00:42:14.200 --> 00:42:16.240 align:center
Good thing, his train was at 10:00
and it was already 5:00.
00:42:24.200 --> 00:42:27.200 align:center
I said, "Dad, it's already 5:00.
It's getting late."
00:42:28.640 --> 00:42:30.160 align:center
We rushed to the station.
00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:33.840 align:center
The moment we got there, he said,
00:42:33.920 --> 00:42:35.320 align:center
"Come here. I want to show you something."
00:42:35.400 --> 00:42:36.720 align:center
He walked to the water stall.
00:42:40.040 --> 00:42:42.360 align:center
He said to the vendor, "One bottle."
He gave the bottle.
00:42:42.440 --> 00:42:43.840 align:center
Dad asked, "How much?",
the vendor said, "20 rupees."
00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:45.760 align:center
Dad goes, "But the MRP is 15."
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:49.360 align:center
The vendor snatched it right back.
00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:54.040 align:center
He says, "Sir, that's the price.
Take it or leave it."
00:42:55.320 --> 00:42:59.160 align:center
I tell you. I've never felt
this amazing level of satisfaction.
00:42:59.240 --> 00:43:01.880 align:center
I had never experienced it, guys.
00:43:03.560 --> 00:43:06.640 align:center
Peak satisfaction.
That day I finally knew what it felt like.
00:43:06.720 --> 00:43:07.880 align:center
It was awesome.
00:43:10.120 --> 00:43:12.360 align:center
He got on the train.
I thought, once he leaves, I will be free.
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:15.000 align:center
Just as the train was about to leave,
he said, "Zakir,
00:43:15.080 --> 00:43:16.920 align:center
don't stick your hands or feet outside."
00:43:17.520 --> 00:43:19.680 align:center
I said, "Dad, you're the one on the train.
You follow this advice."
00:43:21.200 --> 00:43:23.800 align:center
"Don't share rickshaw with two strangers.
Share only if there's one."
00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:26.120 align:center
This was before Ola and Uber.
00:43:26.200 --> 00:43:27.280 align:center
I was like, "Yeah, I know, Dad."
00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:29.600 align:center
He thought I was Gangadhar,
but I'm Shaktimaan. I'll manage.
00:43:32.280 --> 00:43:34.160 align:center
Then he said, "One more thing."
00:43:34.240 --> 00:43:36.360 align:center
"It's a new city now.
It's not your home anymore."
00:43:36.440 --> 00:43:38.840 align:center
"Learn to be cautious.
Staying humble won't kill you."
00:43:38.920 --> 00:43:40.960 align:center
"If someone insults you, let it go.
No need to react."
00:43:41.040 --> 00:43:43.160 align:center
"Tone down your attitude, okay?"
00:43:43.240 --> 00:43:44.200 align:center
The train started moving.
00:43:44.280 --> 00:43:46.240 align:center
So, there should be some closure
to the conversation.
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:47.800 align:center
I said, "Don't worry, Dad.
I'll be careful."
00:43:48.560 --> 00:43:50.120 align:center
Fair enough?
00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:54.800 align:center
The train picked up speed.
I walked alongside it.
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:57.760 align:center
One coach passed. Then another.
I thought let's turn back.
00:43:57.840 --> 00:43:58.920 align:center
I was just about to turn, guys.
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:02.160 align:center
True story. My Dad was hanging halfway
out of the train, shouting,
00:44:02.240 --> 00:44:03.200 align:center
"Hey!"
00:44:04.240 --> 00:44:05.760 align:center
"Forget the last thing I said."
00:44:07.240 --> 00:44:09.200 align:center
"Don't be scared.
Your father's still alive."
00:44:12.560 --> 00:44:14.520 align:center
"You're a lion's son. Live like one."
00:44:21.120 --> 00:44:23.040 align:center
When he said this, I said,
00:44:23.120 --> 00:44:24.280 align:center
"Get back inside."
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:30.080 align:center
What an inconsistent fellow.
00:44:32.160 --> 00:44:33.840 align:center
He confused me all over again.
00:44:34.680 --> 00:44:36.720 align:center
He'd told me this twice that morning.
Didn't scare me then.
00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:37.840 align:center
Now it did.
00:44:38.720 --> 00:44:39.960 align:center
Now I am scared.
00:44:40.840 --> 00:44:43.000 align:center
Because earlier,
he was standing beside me.
00:44:43.080 --> 00:44:44.280 align:center
So, I was not that scared.
00:44:45.240 --> 00:44:47.000 align:center
Now, he was getting farther away.
00:44:47.080 --> 00:44:48.440 align:center
So that thing was affecting me.
00:44:49.600 --> 00:44:51.000 align:center
That's the thing about fathers.
00:44:51.080 --> 00:44:53.080 align:center
You rarely understand their words
while they're beside you.
00:44:54.200 --> 00:44:56.320 align:center
You understand them after they're gone.
00:44:57.680 --> 00:44:59.440 align:center
Those who have lost theirs, ask them,
00:44:59.520 --> 00:45:01.280 align:center
how much shelter
his presence alone gave them.
00:45:02.600 --> 00:45:03.920 align:center
There's an old saying,
"When your brother dies,
00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:04.840 align:center
you lose your strength."
00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:06.160 align:center
"When your father dies,
you lose your roof."
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:09.280 align:center
The sun, the rain, the cold, the heat,
all hit you directly.
00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:13.120 align:center
He may be difficult. He may be cranky.
But just having him around is a shelter.
00:45:13.200 --> 00:45:15.440 align:center
I stood there watching
that train disappear.
00:45:22.360 --> 00:45:25.560 align:center
I couldn't turn away for a long time.
I kept looking at that train for long.
00:45:26.560 --> 00:45:28.600 align:center
Because I knew, it wasn't
just my father leaving on that train,
00:45:28.680 --> 00:45:30.400 align:center
my childhood was leaving with him too.
00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:32.480 align:center
And you know
the worst thing about childhood?
00:45:33.120 --> 00:45:34.600 align:center
Childhood never dies slowly.
00:45:35.240 --> 00:45:38.120 align:center
It dies in an instant. Like an accident.
00:45:38.200 --> 00:45:40.080 align:center
Everyone remembers that moment
when something inside says,
00:45:40.160 --> 00:45:41.640 align:center
"It's time to grow up."
00:45:42.560 --> 00:45:44.840 align:center
After that every childish thing you do
feels fake.
00:45:44.920 --> 00:45:46.480 align:center
Even resting in your mom's lap is fake.
00:45:47.120 --> 00:45:48.520 align:center
It is just a memory
00:45:48.600 --> 00:45:50.400 align:center
of how innocent you used to be.
00:45:51.240 --> 00:45:54.360 align:center
I once wrote,
"I sold my innocence long ago."
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:57.640 align:center
"I sold my innocence long ago."
00:45:57.720 --> 00:46:00.800 align:center
"Now I know,
I sold something that is priceless."
00:46:09.600 --> 00:46:12.680 align:center
The moment that train left,
everything Dad said started coming true.
00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:14.680 align:center
That visiting a city
00:46:14.760 --> 00:46:16.880 align:center
and living there,
are two very different things.
00:46:17.760 --> 00:46:19.560 align:center
I'd been to Delhi before.
00:46:19.640 --> 00:46:22.000 align:center
But I'd never experienced
a night that dark.
00:46:22.080 --> 00:46:24.480 align:center
You understand
what being alone in a crowd means
00:46:24.560 --> 00:46:26.360 align:center
when you go to a city that isn't home.
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:30.640 align:center
But there are two things that can make
any strange city feel like home.
00:46:31.320 --> 00:46:32.720 align:center
One is friendship.
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:34.000 align:center
Right?
00:46:34.080 --> 00:46:35.640 align:center
And second is hooking up.
00:46:41.600 --> 00:46:42.840 align:center
A love affair, my dear friends,
00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:45.360 align:center
can help you settle
even in the toughest place.
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:47.520 align:center
If your kids are studying
away from home,
00:46:47.600 --> 00:46:48.960 align:center
and they seem completely settled…
00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:53.480 align:center
just know they're really feeling settled.
00:46:58.000 --> 00:46:59.240 align:center
Guys,
00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:00.680 align:center
friendship is a beautiful thing.
00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:03.520 align:center
They say boys don't have a maternal home,
they have friends.
00:47:08.760 --> 00:47:10.720 align:center
Friendship is such an amazing thing.
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:13.680 align:center
No blood relation. No family ties.
Yet they stand by each other.
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:18.080 align:center
Everything you do for a friend
is a 100 percent financial loss.
00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:22.760 align:center
You still do it.
00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:24.120 align:center
Because if your buddy says
we have to do it…
00:47:24.200 --> 00:47:25.640 align:center
You've to do it.
00:47:25.720 --> 00:47:28.400 align:center
That's how, like a blessing,
Vishwas came into my life.
00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:36.280 align:center
Living with Vishwas was one
of the happiest times of my life.
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:38.960 align:center
He was my first roommate.
00:47:39.680 --> 00:47:42.480 align:center
Boys who've lived with other boys,
give me a cheer.
00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:47.320 align:center
There's nothing more fun than it.
00:47:48.160 --> 00:47:49.960 align:center
He wasn't bathing. Neither was I.
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:52.960 align:center
He wasn't cleaning. Neither was I.
00:47:53.560 --> 00:47:56.240 align:center
The trash didn't bother him.
It didn't bother me either.
00:47:56.920 --> 00:47:59.160 align:center
We lived like rich kids,
but without money.
00:48:00.160 --> 00:48:02.840 align:center
It started with just the two of us.
Then more and more guys moved in.
00:48:04.080 --> 00:48:07.360 align:center
At one point, there were eleven,
sometimes twelve of us in that room.
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:08.840 align:center
I didn't even know who they were.
00:48:10.200 --> 00:48:12.200 align:center
Every morning, I'd wake up and find
six people sleeping on the floor.
00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:14.120 align:center
I'd be like,
"Who the hell are these guys?"
00:48:16.080 --> 00:48:17.680 align:center
Our room would be filthy.
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:20.000 align:center
Still more guys kept moving in.
00:48:20.080 --> 00:48:24.280 align:center
Vishwas said, "Our room's messy
because boys keep coming over."
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:25.880 align:center
"Let's get a flat.
We'll only invite girls,
00:48:25.960 --> 00:48:27.080 align:center
the place will stay clean."
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:31.360 align:center
The place did get cleaner.
But then exactly what I feared happened.
00:48:33.200 --> 00:48:34.520 align:center
Vishwas got a girlfriend.
00:48:36.200 --> 00:48:38.600 align:center
Now she was at our place all the time.
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:42.200 align:center
Why am I walking around in long pajamas
inside my own house?
00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:44.640 align:center
I pay rent here too!
00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:48.360 align:center
Our old room,
people called it Underwear Capital.
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:52.040 align:center
Eleven guys,
all lounging around in boxers.
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:53.880 align:center
Visitors would walk in
00:48:53.960 --> 00:48:55.720 align:center
and their pants came off
before their shoes.
00:48:57.080 --> 00:48:59.960 align:center
They'd throw them aside
and go, "So, any chance of tea?"
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:04.040 align:center
That's how comfortable it was.
And here we'd be, "Hello, how are you?"
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:09.280 align:center
One day she came over.
00:49:09.360 --> 00:49:10.600 align:center
So, "Hi, hello."
00:49:10.680 --> 00:49:12.080 align:center
Now we had never had
any respectable guests.
00:49:12.160 --> 00:49:14.040 align:center
We had no idea how to be a good host.
00:49:14.120 --> 00:49:15.680 align:center
So I asked,
"Would you like anything else?"
00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:17.880 align:center
She said, "I could have some tea."
00:49:17.960 --> 00:49:19.360 align:center
Now, back then, if you were a bachelor…
00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:20.520 align:center
Now we have Swiggy, Zomato.
00:49:20.600 --> 00:49:23.320 align:center
You're a bachelor. What do you do?
Pull out your phone. Right?
00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:25.440 align:center
You'd say, "Let's just order tea.
It will be here in no time."
00:49:25.520 --> 00:49:29.280 align:center
But then she goes,
"Oh, no. I don't drink outside tea."
00:49:30.040 --> 00:49:31.720 align:center
So this is like game over.
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:34.920 align:center
It's your first time at our place.
I can't ask you to make tea.
00:49:35.880 --> 00:49:37.800 align:center
Neither of us knows how to make it.
00:49:37.880 --> 00:49:40.440 align:center
So, now we are in a bind.
You won't be able to have tea.
00:49:40.520 --> 00:49:42.480 align:center
I was still thinking, when Vishwas said,
00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:44.920 align:center
and I saw this miracle with my own eyes,
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:48.400 align:center
"Bro, I feel like making tea."
00:49:51.240 --> 00:49:53.640 align:center
I thought, that's what happens
when you get a girlfriend.
00:49:57.080 --> 00:49:59.120 align:center
For the next six months,
every time a guest came over,
00:49:59.680 --> 00:50:00.840 align:center
I'd ask, "Bro, want some tea?"
00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:04.160 align:center
"This idiot loves making it."
00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:15.960 align:center
Life was good. Sometimes I'd call home.
Sometimes I wouldn't.
00:50:16.040 --> 00:50:18.800 align:center
Slowly, those calls got fewer.
You become independent.
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:21.480 align:center
Your conversations turn
into "Yeah. Okay. Fine."
00:50:22.080 --> 00:50:24.600 align:center
And you never call your dad.
You call your mom.
00:50:25.720 --> 00:50:27.840 align:center
Because their behavior doesn't
deserve a call.
00:50:28.920 --> 00:50:31.400 align:center
While you're talking to Mom,
Dad's yelling nonsense in the background.
00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:34.440 align:center
"Ask him if he's short on money
for his leisurely activities."
00:50:36.240 --> 00:50:38.280 align:center
"We'll send some.
We have an ATM over there."
00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:40.640 align:center
"Call and get money. Call and get money."
00:50:40.720 --> 00:50:43.040 align:center
And Mom, his number-one supporter,
00:50:43.640 --> 00:50:46.440 align:center
translates everything,
even though I heard every single word.
00:50:46.520 --> 00:50:49.440 align:center
"Your dad says
don't hesitate if you need anything."
00:50:50.360 --> 00:50:51.960 align:center
I'd be like, what a couple.
00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:57.200 align:center
It was a Monday in June 2015.
00:50:57.280 --> 00:50:58.600 align:center
I was working at an agency.
00:50:58.680 --> 00:51:01.680 align:center
It was an ad agency.
00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:03.920 align:center
This was before joining AIB.
00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:07.080 align:center
We were writing
a huge Father's Day campaign.
00:51:07.160 --> 00:51:08.760 align:center
I was one of the writers there.
00:51:08.840 --> 00:51:10.680 align:center
They hired a bunch of writers.
00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:12.720 align:center
And one senior writer had come
from Mumbai.
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:14.400 align:center
She was leading the project.
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:15.640 align:center
She was the head writer.
00:51:15.720 --> 00:51:17.400 align:center
Everyone had to write a script.
00:51:17.480 --> 00:51:19.360 align:center
That same day
it was Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.
00:51:19.440 --> 00:51:20.880 align:center
The party was at her house. Okay?
00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:22.120 align:center
He was busy getting things ready.
00:51:22.200 --> 00:51:24.040 align:center
I had to take my girlfriend there too.
00:51:24.120 --> 00:51:25.800 align:center
On Monday, I got to the office.
00:51:25.880 --> 00:51:27.240 align:center
Just then Kuntal texted me.
00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:29.760 align:center
"I'm in Delhi. Come meet me."
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:31.840 align:center
You must have boarded the flight,
00:51:31.920 --> 00:51:33.680 align:center
you must've booked the flight.
Could've told me before.
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:36.200 align:center
You can't just show up
and expect me to come.
00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:39.320 align:center
I said, "Meet me at the party tonight."
00:51:39.400 --> 00:51:40.800 align:center
He says, "Party? What party?"
00:51:41.600 --> 00:51:44.160 align:center
I said, "Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.
Come with us."
00:51:44.240 --> 00:51:45.560 align:center
He goes, "Will there be girls?"
00:51:46.920 --> 00:51:48.760 align:center
I said, "Yeah."
He goes, "Are they beautiful?"
00:51:49.520 --> 00:51:52.320 align:center
I said,
"Beauty's in the eye of the beholder."
00:51:53.040 --> 00:51:54.440 align:center
He goes, "Don't give me that nonsense."
00:51:56.360 --> 00:51:58.720 align:center
"I'll talk to Vishwas."
I said, "Do whatever you want."
00:52:01.800 --> 00:52:03.560 align:center
The seminar starts.
00:52:04.280 --> 00:52:05.720 align:center
Father's Day…
00:52:07.960 --> 00:52:10.080 align:center
The senior writer says,
"Who wrote Script 22?"
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:12.560 align:center
I said, "Ma'am, I did."
00:52:13.400 --> 00:52:15.160 align:center
She says, "Mr. Khan,
00:52:15.880 --> 00:52:17.560 align:center
you've written only jokes."
00:52:20.160 --> 00:52:21.640 align:center
"There's no emotion in the script."
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:24.040 align:center
I said, "I just wrote what I felt."
00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:30.600 align:center
She asked, "How's your relationship
with your father?"
00:52:31.560 --> 00:52:33.040 align:center
I said, "Ma'am, it's normal."
00:52:34.040 --> 00:52:35.320 align:center
She asked, "What does 'normal' mean?"
00:52:35.400 --> 00:52:36.880 align:center
I said, "Like every other guy."
00:52:38.040 --> 00:52:39.600 align:center
She asked, "And what's that like?"
00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:41.800 align:center
I said, "They are terrible."
00:52:44.280 --> 00:52:45.600 align:center
She goes, "Very funny. Shut up."
00:52:47.040 --> 00:52:49.000 align:center
"Tell me something.
Have you ever hugged your father?"
00:52:49.080 --> 00:52:50.160 align:center
"Like, with love?"
00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:52.760 align:center
I said, "Ma'am, is it
like an interview for me
00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:54.400 align:center
or it's like for everybody?"
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:56.720 align:center
She said, "No.
It's just about men specifically."
00:52:56.800 --> 00:52:59.240 align:center
"Men have a very strange relationship
with their fathers."
00:52:59.320 --> 00:53:01.400 align:center
"Actually, all the guys answer this.
Boys, tell me."
00:53:01.480 --> 00:53:02.560 align:center
"Have you ever hugged your dad?"
00:53:02.640 --> 00:53:04.320 align:center
There were nine guys in that room.
00:53:04.400 --> 00:53:07.560 align:center
Believe it or not, I was the only one
who said, "I've hugged my father."
00:53:08.560 --> 00:53:10.240 align:center
She said, "But you said
your relationship isn't great."
00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:12.240 align:center
I said, "I do it every year. Twice."
00:53:19.640 --> 00:53:20.880 align:center
She said, "Twice? What's the logic?"
00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:23.160 align:center
I said, "Ma'am, I hug him on Eid
and again on Bakri Eid."
00:53:24.280 --> 00:53:26.600 align:center
She said, "Besides that?"
I said, "Nope."
00:53:28.360 --> 00:53:29.440 align:center
Then she said, "Okay, tell me."
00:53:29.520 --> 00:53:31.760 align:center
By now, I was getting nervous.
So I picked up my water bottle.
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:34.040 align:center
She said, "Have you ever told your father
00:53:34.720 --> 00:53:35.720 align:center
'I love you'?"
00:53:36.520 --> 00:53:37.680 align:center
I literally spat out the water.
00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.480 align:center
I said, "Ma'am, he's my dad,
not my girlfriend."
00:53:44.160 --> 00:53:47.440 align:center
What next? You want me to ask
if my beloved has had dinner or not?
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:54.160 align:center
She goes, "Shut up!"
00:53:55.160 --> 00:53:56.680 align:center
Then she said, "All the guys, tell me."
00:53:56.760 --> 00:53:58.880 align:center
"Have you ever said 'Thank you'
to your father?"
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:00.880 align:center
One of the guys,
he's still one of my closest friends.
00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:02.400 align:center
He totally matched my vibe that day.
00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:04.760 align:center
He said, "But why?"
00:54:06.520 --> 00:54:07.840 align:center
I was like, he's the guy.
00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:09.200 align:center
He's the guy. He's the guy.
00:54:09.960 --> 00:54:11.600 align:center
She completely lost it.
00:54:11.680 --> 00:54:12.880 align:center
"All the guys go outside."
00:54:12.960 --> 00:54:16.040 align:center
"Go outside, call your fathers
and say thank you."
00:54:16.120 --> 00:54:18.480 align:center
Guys, who calls their dad?
00:54:19.960 --> 00:54:22.120 align:center
You call your mom.
00:54:22.680 --> 00:54:24.960 align:center
You only call your Dad
when Mom isn't answering.
00:54:25.720 --> 00:54:27.720 align:center
And even then, you just ask,
"Where's Mom?"
00:54:30.160 --> 00:54:31.600 align:center
That's the entire communication.
00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:34.520 align:center
"Dad, is Mom there?
No? Okay, I'll call later."
00:54:36.800 --> 00:54:39.080 align:center
So I called my dad.
00:54:39.160 --> 00:54:41.120 align:center
Out of nine guys,
eight dads didn't even answer.
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:44.400 align:center
At least mine picked up.
00:54:45.400 --> 00:54:47.600 align:center
After declining the call twice,
he answered the third time, "Hello?"
00:54:47.680 --> 00:54:49.200 align:center
I greeted, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."
00:54:49.280 --> 00:54:52.200 align:center
You must greet your parents properly.
00:54:52.280 --> 00:54:54.480 align:center
First we greet them.
We don't just say, "Hello."
00:54:54.560 --> 00:54:56.800 align:center
I said, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."
He said, "Walaikum Assalam."
00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:58.320 align:center
"Should I call you back in 5 minutes?"
00:54:59.200 --> 00:55:00.720 align:center
I said, "What? Why?"
00:55:00.800 --> 00:55:02.320 align:center
He goes, "Your mom's not home."
00:55:04.640 --> 00:55:06.120 align:center
I asked, "Where is she?"
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:09.320 align:center
He snickered,
"She's gone to a Kitty party."
00:55:10.560 --> 00:55:12.160 align:center
"If their kitty party ever
holds elections,
00:55:12.240 --> 00:55:14.240 align:center
your mom will become the Prime Minister."
00:55:17.800 --> 00:55:19.280 align:center
If parents are complaining
about each other,
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:20.600 align:center
the world is functioning normally.
00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:23.960 align:center
I said, "Okay, okay.
Dad, actually I wanted to talk to you."
00:55:24.040 --> 00:55:24.920 align:center
"Oh?"
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:30.160 align:center
"How much money do you need?"
00:55:32.280 --> 00:55:34.280 align:center
I said, "I don't need money.
I just wanted to talk."
00:55:35.080 --> 00:55:36.280 align:center
Dad goes, "What happened?"
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:38.720 align:center
I said, "Nothing.
I just wanted to talk to you."
00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:40.040 align:center
He goes, "Did you have an accident?"
00:55:41.480 --> 00:55:43.280 align:center
"I told you not to buy
that secondhand car."
00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:44.320 align:center
"You bought that junk anyway."
00:55:44.400 --> 00:55:46.600 align:center
"I've had bad dreams for two days.
I knew something was wrong."
00:55:46.680 --> 00:55:47.920 align:center
"You ignorant, shameless boy!"
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:49.920 align:center
"You bothered us here,
now you're bothering us from there too?"
00:55:51.520 --> 00:55:52.680 align:center
Huh?
00:55:53.880 --> 00:55:55.040 align:center
How did we end up here?
00:55:56.040 --> 00:55:58.120 align:center
I said I just wanted to talk.
How did I suddenly have an accident?
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:00.880 align:center
"Are you hurt? Are you hurt?"
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:02.120 align:center
"Are you hurt?"
00:56:02.200 --> 00:56:03.920 align:center
I said, "No, Dad. I'm fine."
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:05.520 align:center
He goes, "Did the other guy die?"
00:56:11.720 --> 00:56:13.440 align:center
Right then the senior writer walked in.
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:16.080 align:center
Nobody's dad picked up their calls.
So now she started motivating me.
00:56:16.160 --> 00:56:17.280 align:center
"Go on. Say it."
00:56:18.760 --> 00:56:20.760 align:center
Say what? The topic had changed.
00:56:22.200 --> 00:56:24.080 align:center
Somebody has died now.
00:56:35.880 --> 00:56:37.280 align:center
She said, "Go on, say it."
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:38.680 align:center
I said "I will."
00:56:39.520 --> 00:56:40.640 align:center
I said, "No, Dad."
00:56:42.200 --> 00:56:43.680 align:center
He goes, "Are you at the police station?"
00:56:45.120 --> 00:56:47.360 align:center
"Listen. I'm sending
you Lawyer Uncle's number. Don't panic."
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:49.920 align:center
"Don't tell the police anything.
Do exactly what I tell you."
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:51.960 align:center
I said, "Dad, nothing has happened."
He yelled, "Then what happened?"
00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:54.800 align:center
The senior writer again, "Say it. Say it."
00:56:55.480 --> 00:56:57.040 align:center
I said I am saying it.
00:56:57.760 --> 00:56:59.920 align:center
Come on, tell me.
Does it feel like a "thank you" moment?
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:02.440 align:center
Is it really a "thank you" moment?
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:05.040 align:center
I finally said, "Dad,
00:57:05.640 --> 00:57:07.320 align:center
I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you, Dad."
00:57:07.840 --> 00:57:09.200 align:center
"Thank you, Dad. Thank you."
00:57:10.440 --> 00:57:12.080 align:center
She goes, "What did he say?"
00:57:12.160 --> 00:57:13.360 align:center
"He didn't say anything."
00:57:14.240 --> 00:57:15.400 align:center
She whispered, "Ask him."
00:57:15.480 --> 00:57:16.640 align:center
I said, "Hello?"
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:22.960 align:center
Dad goes, "So, what?"
00:57:23.880 --> 00:57:26.560 align:center
What "So what?" There's nothing left!
00:57:33.280 --> 00:57:35.600 align:center
Does this man look like
the "thank you" type?
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:39.840 align:center
I ignored him.
00:57:39.920 --> 00:57:41.640 align:center
By then,
Kuntal's four voice notes popped up.
00:57:41.720 --> 00:57:44.200 align:center
I figured, he must be telling me
what time he's getting there.
00:57:44.280 --> 00:57:46.320 align:center
So I played one on speaker,
without the earphones.
00:57:47.160 --> 00:57:48.560 align:center
It started with, "You bitch,
00:57:50.280 --> 00:57:52.600 align:center
I'll get you Bourbon biscuits."
00:57:53.240 --> 00:57:55.480 align:center
"Stay with me at the party, you bitch."
00:57:57.280 --> 00:57:58.680 align:center
Now everyone in the class is judging me.
00:57:58.760 --> 00:58:01.240 align:center
I don't have a single decent friend
whose voice notes can be played publicly.
00:58:02.520 --> 00:58:04.280 align:center
I panicked and turned my phone off.
00:58:08.040 --> 00:58:10.080 align:center
We spent another five or six hours
in the workshop.
00:58:10.160 --> 00:58:11.840 align:center
Then I came out, got into the car.
00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:13.200 align:center
I switched my phone back on.
00:58:13.280 --> 00:58:14.760 align:center
Something had definitely happened.
00:58:14.840 --> 00:58:16.600 align:center
Nothing happens in my life for years.
00:58:16.680 --> 00:58:17.960 align:center
Then everything happens in one day.
00:58:20.800 --> 00:58:22.000 align:center
Nine missed calls from Dad.
00:58:22.640 --> 00:58:24.160 align:center
Three from Mom.
00:58:24.240 --> 00:58:26.440 align:center
Six from my girlfriend.
Eleven from my building's security guard.
00:58:26.520 --> 00:58:27.680 align:center
Three from Vishwas.
00:58:27.760 --> 00:58:29.360 align:center
Two from Kuntal.
Something was definitely wrong.
00:58:29.960 --> 00:58:31.520 align:center
The missed-call alerts just kept coming.
00:58:33.040 --> 00:58:35.360 align:center
First thing, I called Dad.
Of course his phone was out of reach.
00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:37.760 align:center
I called Mom. She was at her kitty party.
00:58:38.320 --> 00:58:40.880 align:center
She goes, "Hello, son. Had lunch?
Make sure you eat."
00:58:42.520 --> 00:58:43.720 align:center
I said, "Where are you?"
00:58:43.800 --> 00:58:45.600 align:center
She goes, "I'm at kitty. And I'm winning!"
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:47.960 align:center
I asked, "Where's Dad?"
00:58:48.040 --> 00:58:49.640 align:center
She said, "Oh, he's probably at home.
Grumpy as ever."
00:58:51.360 --> 00:58:53.520 align:center
"Good thing you got out."
00:58:53.600 --> 00:58:54.640 align:center
"Finally got some peace."
00:58:55.320 --> 00:58:57.280 align:center
"It's not easy living with that man."
00:58:57.360 --> 00:58:59.560 align:center
"My parents married me off,
so I'm making it work."
00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:03.120 align:center
"Anyone else would've left by now."
00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:10.480 align:center
I said, "Yeah, great."
00:59:10.560 --> 00:59:11.720 align:center
She goes, "Had lunch?
Don't forget to eat."
00:59:11.800 --> 00:59:13.840 align:center
I said, "I will, Mom. Okay, okay, okay."
00:59:14.560 --> 00:59:17.160 align:center
She hung up.
Then the building security guard called.
00:59:18.080 --> 00:59:20.160 align:center
He says, "Sir, there's a man downstairs."
00:59:22.520 --> 00:59:23.760 align:center
"He says
00:59:25.240 --> 00:59:26.080 align:center
he's your father."
00:59:28.520 --> 00:59:30.240 align:center
"I tried calling you,
but your phone was off."
00:59:30.320 --> 00:59:31.720 align:center
"Vishwas didn't answer either,
00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:33.120 align:center
so I called your girlfriend."
00:59:34.600 --> 00:59:36.480 align:center
I said, "Chandraprakash, you idiot!"
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:39.720 align:center
"If a man says he's my father,
00:59:40.640 --> 00:59:42.800 align:center
how dare you call my girlfriend
in front of him?"
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:44.760 align:center
He went…
00:59:46.440 --> 00:59:48.720 align:center
"Sir, I'm not that dumb."
00:59:48.800 --> 00:59:50.720 align:center
"I stepped aside before I called."
00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:52.120 align:center
"Of course I stepped aside
before I called her."
00:59:52.200 --> 00:59:54.040 align:center
"Didn't send him upstairs,
though I have the apartment keys."
00:59:54.880 --> 00:59:57.120 align:center
"I wanted to make sure
her things were not there."
00:59:59.640 --> 01:00:01.480 align:center
I said, "Thank you, Mr. Chandraprakash."
01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:05.080 align:center
He goes, "Sir, you didn't give me anything
for Holi."
01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:09.560 align:center
I said, "I'll be right there.
I'll take care of it."
01:00:09.640 --> 01:00:11.000 align:center
"Put Dad on."
01:00:11.080 --> 01:00:13.160 align:center
Dad goes, "Dear, where are you?
Are you okay? Are you okay?"
01:00:13.240 --> 01:00:15.680 align:center
I said, "I'm fine, Dad. Where are you?"
He goes, "You're at the police station?"
01:00:16.600 --> 01:00:17.880 align:center
I said,
"Dad, I'm not at the police station."
01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:21.480 align:center
"I'm just heading home. I am on the way."
01:00:21.560 --> 01:00:23.120 align:center
"Are you okay?
Are you coming in the ambulance?"
01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:26.600 align:center
I said, "I'm fine.
Why is your phone switched off?"
01:00:26.680 --> 01:00:28.040 align:center
He said, "My phone died, dear."
01:00:28.640 --> 01:00:30.720 align:center
I said, "Okay. I'm on my way.
Stay right there."
01:00:30.800 --> 01:00:31.920 align:center
He said, "You okay?" I said, "I'm fine."
01:00:32.560 --> 01:00:33.880 align:center
Then my girlfriend called.
01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:36.240 align:center
"Your dad's downstairs."
01:00:37.640 --> 01:00:39.160 align:center
"I'm having palpitations."
01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:41.600 align:center
"I'm freaking out. I'm getting anxious.
I'm getting rashes."
01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:44.840 align:center
I said, "Listen,
01:00:44.920 --> 01:00:46.040 align:center
my dad's here."
01:00:46.640 --> 01:00:47.920 align:center
"I'm already stressed."
01:00:48.720 --> 01:00:50.680 align:center
"As a partner, if you can help me,
that'll be great."
01:00:52.280 --> 01:00:53.840 align:center
"Just don't add to my problems."
01:00:55.040 --> 01:00:56.560 align:center
"Let this be about me this time."
01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:00.400 align:center
"Don't make this about you."
01:01:06.200 --> 01:01:08.360 align:center
She goes, "Okay, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry."
01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:10.000 align:center
She hung up.
Two seconds later, she called again.
01:01:10.080 --> 01:01:12.560 align:center
She goes, "Listen, I have a plan."
01:01:13.440 --> 01:01:14.520 align:center
I said, "Yeah, tell me."
01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:18.320 align:center
She goes, "Bring your dad to the party."
01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:24.200 align:center
"I'll meet him like a doll
and I'll impress him."
01:01:24.280 --> 01:01:26.160 align:center
"Then later, we'll tell him
I'm your girlfriend."
01:01:26.240 --> 01:01:27.680 align:center
"What do you think?"
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:29.680 align:center
I said, "He's my dad,
not a deck of cards."
01:01:32.080 --> 01:01:33.600 align:center
"I'm not showing him off at parties."
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:36.720 align:center
I said, "I'll handle it. Bye."
01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:42.680 align:center
I hung up. Dad was covered in dust.
He had come in slippers.
01:01:42.760 --> 01:01:44.120 align:center
He was wearing an Abibas pajama.
01:01:46.400 --> 01:01:48.360 align:center
A random shirt on top. Nothing matched.
01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:52.240 align:center
He'd boarded a flight to Delhi
wearing his home clothes.
01:01:53.160 --> 01:01:54.880 align:center
I said, "Dad, you flew all the way here?"
01:01:54.960 --> 01:01:57.600 align:center
He said, "I got worried. You were saying
all kinds of strange things."
01:01:58.680 --> 01:02:00.680 align:center
"I didn't even tell your mom
where I was going."
01:02:01.680 --> 01:02:02.840 align:center
I said, "Mom answered your call?"
01:02:02.920 --> 01:02:04.000 align:center
"That's beside the point."
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:10.720 align:center
I said, "All I said was 'Thank you.'"
01:02:11.760 --> 01:02:13.320 align:center
Dad says, "And then you turned
your phone off!"
01:02:14.040 --> 01:02:15.120 align:center
I said, "So?"
01:02:15.200 --> 01:02:16.800 align:center
He said, "I thought
that 'thank you' was your goodbye."
01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:26.160 align:center
"Your generation always keeps
talking about depression."
01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:29.080 align:center
"I thought
my 26-year investment was gone."
01:02:31.920 --> 01:02:33.120 align:center
What am I, an insurance policy?
01:02:34.600 --> 01:02:36.200 align:center
He yelled, "So, why were you calling me?"
01:02:36.280 --> 01:02:39.080 align:center
I was like I can't say I only called
because someone asked me to.
01:02:39.160 --> 01:02:41.960 align:center
I said, "Dad, I just started
this new job at an ad agency."
01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:45.480 align:center
"They're doing something
for Father's Day."
01:02:45.560 --> 01:02:47.720 align:center
He taunts, "Oh, yeah,
you celebrate that a lot."
01:02:48.880 --> 01:02:50.440 align:center
What kind of tone was that?
01:02:51.360 --> 01:02:54.200 align:center
I said, "No, I mean, Dad,
I was writing something about it."
01:02:54.280 --> 01:02:55.680 align:center
"My job involves writing."
01:02:55.760 --> 01:03:00.240 align:center
"And while I was writing,
I suddenly felt like calling you
01:03:00.320 --> 01:03:01.600 align:center
and saying thank you."
01:03:01.680 --> 01:03:02.800 align:center
He just went, "Oh."
01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:05.840 align:center
"Then say it."
01:03:07.720 --> 01:03:09.200 align:center
I said, "I already did on the phone."
01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:10.800 align:center
"So now are you shy to say it to my face?"
01:03:11.400 --> 01:03:14.080 align:center
"If this were about your mom,
you'd have written nine poems by now."
01:03:14.960 --> 01:03:16.480 align:center
"That 'Mom's a flower.'"
01:03:17.160 --> 01:03:19.280 align:center
"'Mom's a rose garden.'"
01:03:19.360 --> 01:03:20.640 align:center
"And what's Dad? The thorn?"
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:23.520 align:center
I said, "Come on, Dad."
01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:25.320 align:center
I said, "Dad…"
01:03:27.320 --> 01:03:29.200 align:center
But now, all I can think of is money.
01:03:30.640 --> 01:03:32.680 align:center
It made our relationship seem
so transactional.
01:03:34.520 --> 01:03:35.960 align:center
I said, "Dad,
01:03:37.040 --> 01:03:40.440 align:center
you tried to give me a good education."
01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:45.880 align:center
"You tried to make me a…"
01:03:45.960 --> 01:03:47.000 align:center
Good person.
01:03:47.520 --> 01:03:48.840 align:center
"And I did my…"
01:03:48.920 --> 01:03:50.240 align:center
Best too.
01:03:51.640 --> 01:03:53.760 align:center
"When I was a kid,
01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:56.280 align:center
you bought me toys."
01:03:56.880 --> 01:03:59.680 align:center
"Bought me new clothes every festival."
01:04:00.200 --> 01:04:01.800 align:center
He cut in, "Those skates cost 23,000."
01:04:05.240 --> 01:04:07.400 align:center
I was like, okay, okay. Whatever.
01:04:08.240 --> 01:04:09.960 align:center
I said, "That too, Dad."
01:04:10.040 --> 01:04:11.960 align:center
Nothing sounded right anymore.
01:04:12.840 --> 01:04:16.280 align:center
So I borrowed something
I'd heard earlier at the workshop.
01:04:16.360 --> 01:04:18.680 align:center
I said, "The thing is Mom…
01:04:18.760 --> 01:04:19.680 align:center
Mom…
01:04:20.520 --> 01:04:23.000 align:center
Mom carries you for nine months."
01:04:24.400 --> 01:04:27.040 align:center
"You know her before you know the world."
01:04:28.640 --> 01:04:29.520 align:center
"But…
01:04:30.520 --> 01:04:33.600 align:center
understanding your father takes
a lifetime, Dad."
01:04:34.760 --> 01:04:35.600 align:center
"Now that…
01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:38.120 align:center
I've grown up,
01:04:38.200 --> 01:04:39.360 align:center
lived on my own,
01:04:39.960 --> 01:04:41.640 align:center
stood on my own feet…"
01:04:41.720 --> 01:04:42.880 align:center
He interrupted, "Are you really?"
01:04:44.640 --> 01:04:47.600 align:center
Come on. Seriously?
I can't do this anymore.
01:04:48.200 --> 01:04:52.000 align:center
How do you talk to a man
whose tone is always like this?
01:04:52.080 --> 01:04:53.600 align:center
How do I communicate with this man?
01:04:54.400 --> 01:04:55.960 align:center
I said, "As much as I have."
01:04:56.040 --> 01:04:57.240 align:center
He said, "Okay, okay."
01:05:00.200 --> 01:05:01.760 align:center
I continued, "Now I finally understand
01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:06.200 align:center
how hard you struggled
and faced so many hardships to raise us."
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:16.360 align:center
He nodded. "That's true."
01:05:19.240 --> 01:05:21.520 align:center
You know, while bearing life's heat,
01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:23.520 align:center
running after responsibilities,
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:26.080 align:center
our fathers become so dry from the inside
01:05:26.160 --> 01:05:29.240 align:center
that even a few drops of fake love are
enough to melt them.
01:05:30.880 --> 01:05:31.960 align:center
He says to me…
01:05:35.560 --> 01:05:36.680 align:center
He says to me,
01:05:37.360 --> 01:05:39.240 align:center
"Everyone in the family used to say
01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:41.720 align:center
you've spoiled your kids."
01:05:44.200 --> 01:05:46.720 align:center
"But I always said I wanted…"
01:05:47.680 --> 01:05:48.880 align:center
And it is true in our case.
01:05:50.840 --> 01:05:54.520 align:center
"It was my dream
to be friends with my children."
01:05:58.600 --> 01:06:00.000 align:center
"I wanted them to be open with me."
01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:07.240 align:center
Huh?
01:06:09.200 --> 01:06:11.480 align:center
"People said to me Zakir talks back
so much at home."
01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:14.480 align:center
"I said, 'If he can't talk back at home,
how will he ever face the world?'"
01:06:19.280 --> 01:06:21.560 align:center
The truth is my dad wasn't lying.
01:06:23.040 --> 01:06:26.440 align:center
He came from a generation where he never
even looked his own father in the eye.
01:06:27.160 --> 01:06:29.600 align:center
It was always, "Yes, Abba. No, Abba."
Nothing more.
01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:32.600 align:center
You can't compare your father
to someone else's.
01:06:32.680 --> 01:06:34.280 align:center
Not everyone starts from the same place.
01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:37.840 align:center
The only real truth is context.
Everything else is a false narrative.
01:06:38.640 --> 01:06:41.280 align:center
Your orthodox father has been
the rebel of his generation.
01:06:48.920 --> 01:06:50.720 align:center
The life of a mother
and a father is different.
01:06:51.360 --> 01:06:53.080 align:center
The way they raise you, take care of you.
01:06:53.640 --> 01:06:54.840 align:center
A mother's purpose is simple,
01:06:54.920 --> 01:06:57.240 align:center
as long as she's alive
nothing will touch you.
01:06:58.200 --> 01:07:01.200 align:center
Under her care, you're safe.
Even God cannot touch you.
01:07:02.440 --> 01:07:04.280 align:center
A father lives for the exact opposite.
01:07:05.040 --> 01:07:08.280 align:center
Every single day of a father's life is
about preparing you
01:07:08.360 --> 01:07:11.560 align:center
to not depend on anyone else
when he is gone.
01:07:19.480 --> 01:07:21.280 align:center
That's why living with fathers
01:07:22.520 --> 01:07:24.200 align:center
can feel so boring.
01:07:26.440 --> 01:07:30.120 align:center
Because when he's alive, he'll tell you
about meter gauge and broad gauge.
01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:32.480 align:center
He'll tell about steam engines
and coal engines.
01:07:32.560 --> 01:07:35.040 align:center
And also tell you all the lessons
life never taught them.
01:07:37.200 --> 01:07:38.040 align:center
Small things.
01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:40.040 align:center
A father will give you
every strength he has
01:07:40.120 --> 01:07:41.680 align:center
and spend his whole life making sure
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:43.760 align:center
none of his weaknesses are
passed on to you.
01:07:43.840 --> 01:07:47.080 align:center
How many of you have fathers
who studied in Hindi-medium schools?
01:07:47.160 --> 01:07:48.320 align:center
Right?
01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:52.760 align:center
He couldn't afford it, but he still
sent you to an English-medium school.
01:07:53.520 --> 01:07:56.680 align:center
Why? Because he thought,
maybe I couldn't speak, but my child will.
01:07:57.840 --> 01:07:59.960 align:center
What are you as a human being?
01:08:00.040 --> 01:08:01.120 align:center
You're just
01:08:02.440 --> 01:08:05.600 align:center
an advanced version
of all your father's regrets.
01:08:05.680 --> 01:08:06.800 align:center
Right?
01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:11.680 align:center
The finished version.
01:08:13.320 --> 01:08:14.600 align:center
A small detail.
01:08:14.680 --> 01:08:16.880 align:center
My dad is shy about speaking in a crowd.
01:08:17.600 --> 01:08:20.200 align:center
Public speaking is not his forte
and it makes him uncomfortable.
01:08:20.280 --> 01:08:21.399 align:center
Okay?
01:08:22.240 --> 01:08:23.720 align:center
And yet everything I am today
01:08:23.800 --> 01:08:26.080 align:center
is because my dad regrets
not having that confidence.
01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:29.880 align:center
So when I was six,
he made me learn languages.
01:08:29.960 --> 01:08:31.840 align:center
Made me speak up in front of people.
01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:33.080 align:center
Sent me to debates.
01:08:33.160 --> 01:08:37.040 align:center
Anything that involved getting on a stage.
Anchoring. Hosting. "No, Zakir can do it."
01:08:37.120 --> 01:08:39.560 align:center
"Go. You should do it. Learn. Speak."
01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:42.760 align:center
The man who was shy
of speaking in a crowd,
01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:44.560 align:center
raised a son
01:08:44.640 --> 01:08:47.040 align:center
who, when he speaks,
can cause a jam in Times Square.
01:08:59.160 --> 01:09:01.359 align:center
How can I say I did this, it was all me?
01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:05.960 align:center
It is not my achievement. It's his.
01:09:06.040 --> 01:09:07.279 align:center
He made it possible.
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:09.399 align:center
People love to say, "I'm self-made."
01:09:09.479 --> 01:09:10.840 align:center
Self-made? Really?
01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:12.800 align:center
Who paid for your education?
01:09:12.880 --> 01:09:13.880 align:center
Who paid your school fees?
01:09:13.960 --> 01:09:16.080 align:center
Who paid for your graduation?
How did you complete college?
01:09:16.160 --> 01:09:17.520 align:center
What guides your moral compass?
01:09:17.600 --> 01:09:18.720 align:center
What guides your judgment?
01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:20.240 align:center
It all comes from your upbringing.
01:09:20.920 --> 01:09:21.840 align:center
No one is self-made.
01:09:21.920 --> 01:09:24.000 align:center
Your parents put in a lot of effort
in your upbringing.
01:09:27.680 --> 01:09:30.080 align:center
They put everything they had.
Their money, their courage, their wisdom.
01:09:30.160 --> 01:09:31.560 align:center
They spent everything on you.
01:09:31.640 --> 01:09:33.520 align:center
And if they still fell short, it's okay.
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:35.840 align:center
Your parents did a lot for you.
01:09:35.920 --> 01:09:39.399 align:center
These days it's fashionable
to blame parents for everything.
01:09:39.479 --> 01:09:41.560 align:center
They didn't do this. They didn't do that.
01:09:42.279 --> 01:09:44.560 align:center
I actually think distance helps.
01:09:45.160 --> 01:09:47.920 align:center
When you step back,
you start seeing them as people.
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.760 align:center
You realize they can make mistakes too.
01:09:50.840 --> 01:09:52.439 align:center
They can be wrong too.
01:09:52.520 --> 01:09:54.520 align:center
But you don't need to keep punishing them.
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:57.200 align:center
You can forgive them.
You can let these things go.
01:09:57.279 --> 01:09:59.520 align:center
Sometimes setting your parents free
sets you free.
01:10:07.040 --> 01:10:08.920 align:center
That day, for the first time,
my father hugged me.
01:10:09.000 --> 01:10:10.640 align:center
For the first time he said,
01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:12.800 align:center
"It felt so good talking to you, Zakir."
01:10:14.080 --> 01:10:15.160 align:center
"Come here."
01:10:16.920 --> 01:10:18.480 align:center
If you can hug your father,
01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:20.840 align:center
you're more fortunate than most people.
01:10:20.920 --> 01:10:24.160 align:center
You are privileged to have
such a relationship with your father.
01:10:24.240 --> 01:10:27.960 align:center
So many children long to see love
in their father's eyes.
01:10:28.520 --> 01:10:32.520 align:center
Fathers spend so long out
in the world's heat, they dry out inside.
01:10:32.600 --> 01:10:34.800 align:center
They become so dry,
they forget they can still be gentle.
01:10:36.200 --> 01:10:37.520 align:center
When I hugged my father
for the first time,
01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:40.120 align:center
I realized he smelled like me.
01:10:41.280 --> 01:10:43.480 align:center
I'd never noticed.
01:10:43.560 --> 01:10:46.080 align:center
My mother's scent was part
of my memory, my father's wasn't.
01:10:46.680 --> 01:10:48.720 align:center
I could hear his heartbeat.
He put his hand on my head
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.640 align:center
and said, "Whatever you do,
I'm always with you."
01:10:51.840 --> 01:10:53.440 align:center
The first time you hug someone you love,
01:10:53.520 --> 01:10:55.120 align:center
you just want to disappear into them.
01:10:57.560 --> 01:10:59.120 align:center
Then I thought
how long can I hug this stranger?
01:11:07.720 --> 01:11:09.400 align:center
So I said, "Dad, want to come to a party?"
01:11:12.040 --> 01:11:13.600 align:center
He said, "I don't have any clothes."
01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:18.160 align:center
I gave him my jeans, my hoodie, my shoes.
He looked like a giant kid.
01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:24.520 align:center
We got in the car. Then he said,
"I didn't tell your mom I'm in Delhi."
01:11:25.480 --> 01:11:27.600 align:center
I said, "Dad, that's a disaster."
01:11:28.400 --> 01:11:31.040 align:center
We called Mom.
And she absolutely tore into him.
01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:34.200 align:center
Have you ever watched
your villain getting thrashed? I have.
01:11:36.480 --> 01:11:38.720 align:center
He said, "Put me on the 10 p.m. train."
01:11:39.320 --> 01:11:43.280 align:center
I said, "Dad, if you take the night train,
you will get home tomorrow afternoon."
01:11:43.360 --> 01:11:46.040 align:center
"Just take the morning flight.
You'll be home by 9:00."
01:11:46.120 --> 01:11:48.200 align:center
He said, "Son, you're not married yet.
You wouldn't understand."
01:11:48.960 --> 01:11:51.200 align:center
"It's not about getting home.
It's about leaving."
01:12:02.320 --> 01:12:05.560 align:center
I said, "Let's try for a Tatkal ticket,
otherwise take the morning flight.
01:12:05.640 --> 01:12:07.040 align:center
He said, "Who's going
to talk to your mom?"
01:12:07.120 --> 01:12:08.440 align:center
I said, "Who will talk to her?"
01:12:08.520 --> 01:12:10.040 align:center
He said, "I think it's going to be you."
01:12:12.960 --> 01:12:16.080 align:center
I said, "I'll handle it. Don't worry."
01:12:16.160 --> 01:12:18.040 align:center
We got in the car and headed to the party.
01:12:18.120 --> 01:12:19.280 align:center
He asked, "You'll get me a ticket, right?"
01:12:19.360 --> 01:12:20.760 align:center
I said, "We'll check for a Tatkal ticket."
01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:23.880 align:center
"If we get one, leave tonight.
Otherwise, stay over and fly tomorrow."
01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:26.360 align:center
He said, "Can I tell you something?"
01:12:26.440 --> 01:12:28.120 align:center
I said, "Yeah, sure."
01:12:29.600 --> 01:12:31.840 align:center
He said, "It's been 28 years
since your mom came into my life."
01:12:32.560 --> 01:12:34.680 align:center
"Our relatives think I'm busy
with work and your mom."
01:12:35.320 --> 01:12:37.880 align:center
"People at work think
I'm always busy with family and friends."
01:12:38.440 --> 01:12:40.400 align:center
"It's been 28 years.
I've never had any free time."
01:12:41.160 --> 01:12:42.520 align:center
"No one's satisfied with me."
01:12:43.680 --> 01:12:44.920 align:center
"So where exactly was I?"
01:12:46.520 --> 01:12:48.280 align:center
I thought, I made a mistake
opening up to him.
01:12:49.560 --> 01:12:51.760 align:center
He sounds like a depressed man.
01:12:54.680 --> 01:12:57.440 align:center
We pulled up. As we climbed the stairs,
he turned around and said,
01:12:57.520 --> 01:12:59.600 align:center
"I've decided.
I'm taking the morning flight."
01:13:00.680 --> 01:13:01.680 align:center
I said, "Why?"
01:13:01.760 --> 01:13:03.640 align:center
"I've been friends
with your mom for 28 years."
01:13:03.720 --> 01:13:05.360 align:center
"But this friendship is brand new."
01:13:11.480 --> 01:13:13.280 align:center
We walked in.
01:13:13.360 --> 01:13:14.960 align:center
Kuntal knew Dad was coming.
01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:16.600 align:center
My girlfriend knew Dad was coming.
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:18.880 align:center
The only person who had no idea
was Vishwas Sharma.
01:13:20.440 --> 01:13:22.680 align:center
We rang the bell.
He was hosting the party.
01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:26.480 align:center
He was sitting there
with his girlfriend's parents.
01:13:26.560 --> 01:13:28.240 align:center
The doorbell rang. He opened it.
01:13:28.320 --> 01:13:30.360 align:center
Saw my dad
and he nearly pooped in his pants.
01:13:32.360 --> 01:13:34.360 align:center
Poor guy had no clue Dad was showing up.
01:13:34.440 --> 01:13:36.400 align:center
He couldn't decide
whether to say hello, fold his hands,
01:13:36.480 --> 01:13:39.520 align:center
touch his feet, or hug him.
So, he did all four and went, "Uncle!"
01:13:40.760 --> 01:13:42.240 align:center
Dad was so relaxed by then,
01:13:42.320 --> 01:13:44.320 align:center
he blessed him and said,
"Has he lost his mind?"
01:13:46.120 --> 01:13:47.840 align:center
Then Kuntal rushed over
and immediately touched Dad's feet,
01:13:47.920 --> 01:13:49.520 align:center
and said, "Uncle, my respects."
01:13:49.600 --> 01:13:51.840 align:center
Dad goes, "What are you doing here?
Don't you work in Bangalore?"
01:13:51.920 --> 01:13:53.320 align:center
"No, Uncle.
I was in Delhi for just one day."
01:13:53.400 --> 01:13:55.360 align:center
"When I heard you were here,
I had to come see you."
01:13:55.440 --> 01:13:56.760 align:center
Dad goes, "Oh, I see."
01:13:56.840 --> 01:13:58.200 align:center
"I met your dad the other day."
01:13:58.280 --> 01:14:01.160 align:center
"He told me something about you two
that cracked me up."
01:14:01.240 --> 01:14:02.280 align:center
I asked, "What did he say?"
01:14:02.360 --> 01:14:05.320 align:center
Dad said, "His father said these two are
the reason for each other's downfall."
01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:13.160 align:center
Right then Mom called.
01:14:13.240 --> 01:14:16.320 align:center
I answered. She goes, "Hello?
Did you put your father on the train?"
01:14:16.400 --> 01:14:18.080 align:center
I said, "Hang on. Talk to Dad."
01:14:18.680 --> 01:14:20.400 align:center
Dad looked at me and goes…
01:14:20.480 --> 01:14:21.920 align:center
I said, "No." He said,
"You promised you'd cover for me."
01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:23.360 align:center
I said, "You're not worth it.
Here, talk to her."
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:25.680 align:center
He took the phone, "Hello, hello."
01:14:25.760 --> 01:14:29.360 align:center
"No, no, I was on my way to the station."
01:14:31.920 --> 01:14:33.800 align:center
"But a bridge collapsed."
01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:37.280 align:center
"And a bus fell into a gorge."
01:14:39.120 --> 01:14:41.000 align:center
That's it from my side.
Thank you very much.
01:14:42.280 --> 01:14:43.920 align:center
You've been a great audience.
01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:45.040 align:center
Good night.
01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:23.160 align:center
Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!
01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:26.040 align:center
Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!
01:15:26.120 --> 01:15:28.920 align:center
Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:31.280 align:center
Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!
01:15:34.080 --> 01:15:35.640 align:center
This show is very close to my heart.
01:15:35.720 --> 01:15:37.960 align:center
If it touched yours too,
I'd love to hear from you.
01:15:39.440 --> 01:15:41.960 align:center
To everyone who came here
with their fathers or their parents,
01:15:42.040 --> 01:15:43.520 align:center
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
01:15:43.600 --> 01:15:48.560 align:center
You chose to spend that precious time
reserved for your parents, with me.
01:15:48.640 --> 01:15:50.760 align:center
I'll always be grateful.
01:15:50.840 --> 01:15:54.600 align:center
If your parents are at home,
go home and hug them.
01:15:54.680 --> 01:15:57.320 align:center
If they live in another city, tell them,
01:15:57.400 --> 01:15:59.160 align:center
"Thank you."
01:15:59.240 --> 01:16:02.080 align:center
If they ask why, tell them
their other son asked you to.
01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:08.640 align:center
And if life has been cruel
and you've already lost a parent,
01:16:08.720 --> 01:16:11.520 align:center
remember this, once you lose a parent,
you gain a God.
01:16:11.600 --> 01:16:13.600 align:center
So, whatever you do with your life,
01:16:13.680 --> 01:16:16.520 align:center
remember, they're still watching over you.
01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:19.000 align:center
Make sure every step you take,
you make them proud.
01:16:19.080 --> 01:16:20.400 align:center
Before we close this show,
01:16:20.480 --> 01:16:22.000 align:center
I'd like to introduce
01:16:22.840 --> 01:16:24.840 align:center
the man whose dreams I'm living,
01:16:25.440 --> 01:16:29.560 align:center
the man whose hard work made
this moment possible.
01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:31.880 align:center
With a huge round of applause…
01:16:35.080 --> 01:16:36.200 align:center
please welcome
01:16:37.600 --> 01:16:38.600 align:center
Khan Sahab.
01:17:36.440 --> 01:17:37.560 align:center
Hello.
01:17:38.080 --> 01:17:43.040 align:center
Thank you for the love and blessings
you've given my son and my family,
01:17:43.120 --> 01:17:47.160 align:center
my family and I are deeply grateful.
01:17:47.240 --> 01:17:49.680 align:center
Thank you. Thank you so much.