WEBVTT

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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please welcome to the stage

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the one, the only, the man,
the myth, the legend,

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Mr. Zakir Khan!

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This is great!

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Sit down. Sit down.

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Thank you so much.
A lot of love to all of you.

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Give yourselves a big round of applause.

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The show's called <i>Papa Yaar</i>.
How many of you already knew that?

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Now, how many of you have actually
brought your father with you tonight?

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Okay, okay, okay.

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So, to all the dads who are here tonight,
wherever you're sitting,

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let me assure you

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by the end of the show,
you'll be celebrated.

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But the next two hours are going to be
a little rough.

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So no unnecessary dad behavior like,
"What's going on here?"

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This isn't your house, okay?

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People often say
fathers are like coconuts.

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Hard on the outside, and on the inside?

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Soft.

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Maybe yours are.

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Mine somehow missed
the "soft on the inside" part.

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I don't know at what age I'll finally
stop being terrified of that man.

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Just last week I was in Indore,
lying on the couch watching TV.

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My dad… came back from the market.

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There are some traumas
triggered by specific sounds.

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One is the sound of his scooter.

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The other is the sound
of our front gate opening.

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I don't know what happened to me.
I switched off the TV and grabbed a book.

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Am I taking any exams?

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Are my exams due?

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And yet, I'm still scared of this man.

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My relationship

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with my father went downhill

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when I was five.

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It was not like we were having
meaningful conversations

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before that anyway.

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Here's what happened.

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One day, my father had to visit the home
of a very senior government officer.

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He was like, "I need someone
with a mature personality."

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"Should I take Zakir with me?"

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So my mom requested me,

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and was like, "He's an okay guy.
He's my husband after all."

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"He's your father,
and we're living in his house too."

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"Go with him, if you feel like it."

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So I went out with my dad
for the first time, without my mom.

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To someone else's house.

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Every house has it's own fragrance.

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Its own atmosphere.

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And that's the best part of childhood,
you're observing so much.

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The tiniest details,
like, "What's this color?"

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"What's that? What's this? What's that?"

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Man, the guy whose house we went to
was such a fool, I can't even tell you.

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That day I learned
a very important lesson in life.

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Just because someone's successful

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or holds a big government position,
or their business took off,

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doesn't mean they're not an idiot.

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Men have this weird belief

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that once they become successful,
nobody will ever call them an idiot again.

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Maybe not to your face.

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Right?

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Behind your back, they still do.

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Some people think
that because their business is doing well

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or they cleared some big exam,
the sun now shines out of their ass.

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Being successful is a different genre,

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being a better human being
is a different genre.

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You still have to work
on your personality, right?

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You'll have to check your ego every day.

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"What am I doing?
Am I doing this the right way?" Right?

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Now this big grown man picking
on a five-year-old kid

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for absolutely no reason.

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He asks me, "What is your name?"

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I said, "My name is Zakir Khan."

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He goes, "No, you should say…"

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He just said 'No.'

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How does my own name become wrong, man?
It's my name!

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Then he says, "No. You should say
your name is Master Zakir Khan."

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I was like, "Get lost, man."

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And his wife,
what a beautiful, dynamic woman.

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We've all seen couples like that.
They're everywhere in society.

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A complete loser, dumb husband

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and this incredibly dynamic, polished,
intelligent, amazing woman. Right?

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You've seen that couple?

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What did we learn from that, folks?

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If the matchmaker is good,
anything is possible. Right?

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She served tea and coffee
and all that to the grown-ups.

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Then she noticed
there's a kid accompanying,

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so she brought me my own plate
filled with Bourbon biscuits.

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I'd never seen Bourbon biscuits before.

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I thought

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this is what drugs are.

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Now here's the problem, guys.

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Before leaving the house,
Mom had warned me,

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"If someone offers you food,
don't just start gobbling it up."

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So I had to maintain
at least a little decorum.

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So, very quietly, without anyone noticing,

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I started counting the biscuits
on my fingers.

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Who's going to notice that?

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One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.

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I picked up and ate one biscuit.
My mind was blown.

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I couldn't process it.

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Now I have to eat one more.
Only then I'll be able to process it.

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How many biscuits are left now?

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No idea.

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I only know how to count.
I didn't know addition or subtraction yet.

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So I have to start all over again.

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What else am I supposed to do?

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Every age has its own issues.

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So I started counting again.

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One, two, three, four, five, six…

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Seven.

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This time I ate it slowly,
devouring each bite.

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Now here's the problem, folks.

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I'd already eaten
two biscuits back to back.

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I can't just go straight for a third one.

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Right?
You should atleast wait for five minutes.

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Five minutes must've passed by now.

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It's been five minutes, right?

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It's been five minutes, no?

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I can have another one now, right?

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Now how many biscuits are left?

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No idea. No idea.

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He talks about counting again,
not eating another biscuit.

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From the beginning.
One, two, three, four…

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That's when this idiot goes,

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"Hey, son, why are you counting
every biscuit before you eat it, huh?"

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"I've been watching you this whole time.
Doing one, two, three, four."

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"Just enjoy them! We'll get you more!"

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I was like, "You villian."

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"You absolute moron."

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"Saying such things
in front of strangers?"

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"If you'd said it in front of my mom,
I could've handled it."

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"But why did you have to say it
in front of my dad?"

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"Do you think
I am on talking terms with him?"

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Dad just stared at me like
he was about to reduce me to ashes.

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And then, to make things worse,
once home, he told the entire family.

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He's like, "Stupid boy!"

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"The whole family has to chase him around
with food just to get him to eat."

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"I take him out once, and he's counting
and eating biscuits. Shameless boy!"

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Dad just kept scolding me
and scolding me and scolding me.

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The problem is I've had ADD
or ADHD-type issues since I was a kid.

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If you keep talking for too long,
you're the one getting tired.

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I have mentally checked out already.

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My attention is on this bug

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which is black in the front
and red in the back.

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"How many legs does it have?
One, two, three, four, five, six…"

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"And how many do I have?
I've only got one, two, three, four."

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"So when do my other two legs grow out?"
I'm thinking about these things.

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But folks, you have to live in this world.

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You're living in their house.

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So if the man's putting
this much effort into yelling at you,

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the least you can do
is make a crying face.

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Even if you don't
actually feel like crying.

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You just lock into one note…

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In the meantime, the bug flew away

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and my attention shifted.
"Oh, there it goes."

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"It flew away."

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Then someone said,
"Hey, why is he sitting on the floor?"

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Round Two. Dad came in with all the stuff.

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A jar of sugar. A packet of biscuits.
A packet of chocolates.

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And he dumped everything into my lap.

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"There! This is
what you went crazy over, right?"

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The chocolates and biscuits scattered.
The sugar jar stayed in my lap.

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I do like sugar.

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He goes, "This is what you lost your mind
over. You embarrassed me there!"

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"Now eat! Go on, eat! Eat!
Stuff yourself! Eat! Eat! Eat!"

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There are a lot of dads here tonight,
so I'll say this to your faces.

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Maybe you guys are wonderful

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but your choice of words is awful.

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When someone talks to you that badly,
of course you're going to cry. Right?

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So I went…

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Am I doing something wrong?

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I'm just doing
what you told me to do, am I not?

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And then he just goes into denial.

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He says, "Look! Look at your son!"

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What do you mean, your son?

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I'm not eating on my own,
I'm eating because you told me to!

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That day was enough.
To this day, I don't trust this man.

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Inconsistent fellow.

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He cannot make up his mind
and then gets mad because I ate.

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Dads have this thing,

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every 3 months,
dads get a chest congestion.

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Not cough, but an hour long speech.

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And the title of that speech is always,

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"I've given you facilities

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that even Elon Musk doesn't
give his kids!"

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"I never had any of this."

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"Because I was
the poor farmer Hariya's son."

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"I had to crawl 900 kilometers
on my elbows,

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cross rivers of acid,

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swim through crocodile-infested ponds,

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climb over barbed wire,
walk through dragon fire

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just to get to school."

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"One day the crocodiles ate both my legs."

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"Yet, I did not stop, I did not give up,
I did not get tired."

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"I flew up in the air and reached school."

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"The teachers were stunned."

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"'Son, you don't even have legs.
How did you make it to school?'"

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"I said, 'Ma'am, my passion for learning
brought me all the way here.'"

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Don't…

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Don't over-appreciate their stories.

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Deep down, even I knew the story was fake.

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But the problem is
I was living in his house.

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So I thought…

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Just listen.

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Whether the story's true or not,
I'm still living under his roof.

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Why disagree?

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So I decided,

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let me praise him a little.
That way nothing comes back on me.

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I will not cross-question him.

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Like, "How exactly
did you swim across" and all that.

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Just use minimum words.
I just said, "Amazing, Dad."

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Safe? Safe? Safe?

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And this man somehow turned that
against me.

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He goes, "Of course, I am amazing."

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He said, "When will I ever get to say,
'Amazing, Son'?"

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Tell me, is he a trustworthy man?

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"We feed you the best food."

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"We get you everything…"

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"You ask for."

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"Last birthday,
you said you wanted skates."

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No, I didn't.
I asked for those five birthdays ago.

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"Go ask your classmates.
Nobody has skates as nice as yours."

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"But what happened?"

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"They're still sitting
on top of the cupboard."

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"Huh?"

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"Covered in cobwebs."

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"Huh?"

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"Huh? Huh?"

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"Huh?"

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Dads have this fantasy

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that while they're scolding you,

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you should actively participate.

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I mean, if he's yelling,
you'll listen quietly

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or will you jump in,
"Yes, you are right, Dad!"

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"Oh my God!
Dad, what an incredible observation!"

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"Yes! They do have cobwebs on them!"

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Man, a normal person just stands there
and listens.

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"At least you could've learned to skate.
It would've made me feel better

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that at least my kid knows how to skate."

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"But no. You set 9,000 rupees on fire."

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"You flushed 9,000 rupees

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down the drain."

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Sir, please pick one.

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Either I set it on fire
or flushed it away. It can't be both.

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And then,
you can't even take him anywhere.

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One time, in the seventh grade,
he came to school for the PTM.

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This man grabbed my hand
and dragged me to Class fifth D.

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He didn't even know what class I was in.

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I had to stop him at the classroom door.
"Dad, I'm in seventh grade."

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He goes, "Earlier it used to be here."

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No father ever admits their mistakes.

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Sorry, sir. Sorry.

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And it's not like
my dad is uniquely like this.

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The entire species is the same.

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Okay, I see a few moms here too.

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You're all enjoying
that the dads are getting roasted.

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Relax. I'm coming for you too.

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I'll come to you.
You're not exactly saints yourselves.

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This was back in twelfth grade.
My childhood friend Kuntal,

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some of you might know him.

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So in the twelfth grade,
one day Kuntal said,

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"We've never done a night stay."

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"Come over Saturday.
We'll stay up all night studying."

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This was on a Tuesday.

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So we made the plan for Saturday.

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Folks, I need some technical help
from you here.

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Do we ever have a direct conversation
with our dads?

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No.

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What's the proper procedure?

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We tell Mom. Mom talks to Dad.

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And Dad says no.

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Remember this, folks.
Our moms are only our moms part-time.

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Full-time, they're Team Husband.

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If something's bothering you
or troubling you,

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if you need to vent
or share your feelings,

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tell a rickshaw driver.

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Don't ever tell your mom.

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Never share with her.

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Zero trust.
She's an absolutely zero-trust person.

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Minimum trust.

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Tuesday came. I told this lady,

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"Talk to your husband."

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My mom says, "Sure."

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"Will you drop me at Smita Aunty's house?"

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Guys, is this a business deal or not?

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- Yes.
- Are we in a deal here or not?

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Yes.

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Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
I was slaving for this woman.

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It's fine. I swallowed my pride.
No problem.

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It's okay.

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Saturday, everything will go smoothly.

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Where are the moms here? Raise your hands.

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Guys,

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Saturday morning,
she let her husband free.

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What exactly did I pay for then?

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Why is the promise not being delivered?

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She wouldn't leave her husband
for even a second.

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Peeling garlic beside him.
Chopping ginger beside him.

15:04.760 --> 15:07.960
The man's got onion fumes in his face.
But she goes on and on.

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She didn't bother
to take two minutes and talk to me.

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Guys, tell me if you agree.

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Tone matches tone.
Rhythm matches rhythm. Right?

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If I walk into a room and say, "Hello."

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- How'd you respond?
- Hello.

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Right? But if you're in a room,

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and I peek in through the door,

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look at only you and quietly go, "Mom."

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How can its response be, "Huh?"

15:32.840 --> 15:33.920
I mean…

15:38.800 --> 15:40.720
Due to this, her husband notices.

15:40.800 --> 15:41.640
He goes, "What happened?"

15:41.720 --> 15:43.600
She goes, "I don't know.
You only ask him."

15:48.520 --> 15:51.160
I'd heard of stabbing in the back,
but she hit me with a bulldozer.

15:53.240 --> 15:55.120
Now I had to explain myself unnecessarily.

15:55.920 --> 15:59.080
And sit through another lecture
about barbed wires,

15:59.160 --> 16:03.040
dragons breathing fire,
crocodiles eating his legs,

16:03.640 --> 16:05.440
about the 11,000 rupee skates
he bought me.

16:05.520 --> 16:07.040
and how I wasted 11,000 rupees.

16:07.120 --> 16:09.040
- What?
- 9,000.

16:09.120 --> 16:10.800
Are you people crazy?

16:11.800 --> 16:13.160
The amount goes up every year.

16:13.880 --> 16:16.320
That's compounding.
What are you talking about, man?

16:23.800 --> 16:25.560
At 3:00 p.m., I reached Kuntal's place.

16:26.520 --> 16:28.120
We chatted about girls for a while.

16:29.040 --> 16:31.160
I mean, whatever there was to talk about.

16:31.760 --> 16:34.040
At 3:30 p.m., we opened our books
and started studying.

16:34.120 --> 16:36.720
Ten minutes later, he looked at me,
I looked at him and he said,

16:37.320 --> 16:38.440
"Let's go for a bike ride."

16:38.520 --> 16:39.840
"We'll come back,

16:39.920 --> 16:41.800
we'll come back
and study with a fresh mind."

16:42.440 --> 16:43.960
With what mind are we going to study?

16:44.040 --> 16:45.320
Fresh.

16:45.400 --> 16:46.920
Any students in the house?
Give me a cheer.

16:48.960 --> 16:51.040
If you want to succeed in life,
take my advice.

16:51.120 --> 16:52.920
Start studying with an unfresh mind.

16:54.360 --> 16:56.280
My life fell apart
because of this attitude.

16:56.960 --> 16:59.720
I kept waiting for my mind to feel fresh.

16:59.800 --> 17:01.920
It never did. So neither did the studying.

17:03.880 --> 17:06.240
I said, "Okay."
Kuntal had just bought a new bike.

17:06.320 --> 17:08.280
And when a teenager gets a new bike,

17:08.360 --> 17:10.440
their mental balance shifts a little.

17:11.640 --> 17:13.520
Their mental state gets disturbed.

17:13.599 --> 17:15.640
They have no idea what to do with it.

17:15.720 --> 17:17.400
"Should I ride it into the bathroom?"

17:19.560 --> 17:20.960
Around 4 p.m.,

17:21.040 --> 17:22.359
we went out on Kuntal's bike

17:22.440 --> 17:24.440
for a quick ride
of just ten-fifteen minutes.

17:28.760 --> 17:30.480
Then at 12:30 at night…

17:32.599 --> 17:34.400
we were 200 kilometers outside Indore…

17:37.120 --> 17:39.360
having tea at a roadside dhaba.

17:40.880 --> 17:43.600
That's when Kuntal's mom called,
"Where are you?"

17:43.680 --> 17:45.120
I said, "We are nearby, Aunty."

17:45.200 --> 17:46.400
"Where's Kuntal?"

17:46.480 --> 17:48.680
I said, "Right here."
She goes, "Put him on."

17:48.760 --> 17:51.560
Now, a mother is worried, stressed.
Should I hand him the phone or not?

17:52.400 --> 17:53.440
Those who agree, say yes!

17:54.000 --> 17:54.920
Yes.

17:55.000 --> 17:57.080
- Those who don't, say no.
- No.

17:57.160 --> 17:58.760
The people who said yes, let me tell you,

17:59.320 --> 18:01.280
you had a great upbringing.

18:02.440 --> 18:04.520
But what a boring childhood you had.

18:05.080 --> 18:06.240
Boring.

18:07.880 --> 18:09.440
No, you can't hand him the phone.

18:10.440 --> 18:12.320
Because Kuntal did not reach my house
as many times

18:12.400 --> 18:14.000
as the number of times
he left for my house.

18:20.720 --> 18:23.400
I said, "We're almost there, Aunty.
Almost there. Almost there."

18:24.240 --> 18:26.720
We covered 200 kilometers
in two hours and twenty minutes.

18:27.680 --> 18:29.520
When I got off the bike,
my hands stayed like this.

18:31.400 --> 18:34.240
Aunty was waiting at the door.
It seemed like she was going to thrash us.

18:34.920 --> 18:36.400
Just as we reached, she goes,

18:36.960 --> 18:39.280
"Where were you?
You could've at least told me."

18:40.080 --> 18:42.040
"He's asking me.
What am I supposed to say?"

18:42.960 --> 18:46.480
"I don't even know where my own son is!
At least tell me before you disappear."

18:50.760 --> 18:52.440
Tell you where we went?

18:53.320 --> 18:55.920
So you can run and tell your husband?

18:56.640 --> 18:58.600
So that it ruins
whatever fun we're having.

18:59.560 --> 19:01.320
Yeah, right. Nice try.

19:02.120 --> 19:03.280
Brown-nosing woman.

19:05.200 --> 19:07.400
I told her the story we all know.

19:07.480 --> 19:11.440
I said, "Aunty, actually
when we were coming, just before our eyes,

19:11.520 --> 19:12.600
we saw an accident."

19:13.960 --> 19:15.440
She said, "What accident?"

19:16.000 --> 19:17.800
Kuntal says, "Huh? There was an accident?"

19:18.680 --> 19:20.480
With old friends,
you don't pre-plan the story.

19:20.560 --> 19:21.720
You just go with the flow.

19:21.800 --> 19:23.440
Kuntal thought he could add something too.

19:24.560 --> 19:25.720
So he goes,

19:25.800 --> 19:27.520
"Yeah, Mom, actually a bridge collapsed."

19:30.680 --> 19:31.720
I was like, "Huh?"

19:32.920 --> 19:34.040
"The bridge collapsed?"

19:35.000 --> 19:36.040
"The whole bridge?"

19:37.760 --> 19:39.240
But the rule
of friendship is simple, guys.

19:39.320 --> 19:41.080
If your buddy says the bridge collapsed
then the bridge…

19:41.160 --> 19:42.120
Collapsed!

19:42.200 --> 19:43.400
If your buddy says
we have to do this, then…

19:43.480 --> 19:44.640
You have to do it.

19:44.720 --> 19:47.480
So I said, "Yeah, Aunty.
A bus fell into the gorge too."

19:48.320 --> 19:50.920
Well, of course it did.
The bus had to fall in the gorge.

19:53.160 --> 19:55.440
Aunty burst into tears.

19:55.520 --> 19:57.280
She grabbed us by the collar,
dragged us inside,

19:57.360 --> 19:58.480
went to the kitchen, came back.

19:58.560 --> 20:01.000
She says, "Do you know
why that bridge collapsed?"

20:01.080 --> 20:02.400
I said, "The engineer?"

20:02.480 --> 20:03.760
"The cement? The contractor?"

20:04.440 --> 20:05.640
She said, "No!"

20:05.720 --> 20:09.040
"Ever since Kuntal's father got promoted,

20:09.600 --> 20:13.080
his sister and his brother's wife are
burning with jealousy."

20:13.160 --> 20:15.560
"They are perfoming black magic on us."

20:15.640 --> 20:18.400
"They are doing voodoo
on my house every day, dear."

20:18.480 --> 20:20.200
"Sometimes we find bangles.

20:20.280 --> 20:22.640
"Sometimes lemons."

20:22.720 --> 20:26.120
"To everyone wishing my family harm,
may you be ruined!"

20:28.800 --> 20:29.920
Friends,

20:30.000 --> 20:32.240
every family has
that one person doing black magic.

20:34.600 --> 20:36.240
She's always your father's sister,

20:37.440 --> 20:38.880
your father's sister-in-law,

20:40.400 --> 20:42.080
your mother's sister-in-law
and your paternal grandma.

20:43.440 --> 20:46.360
But that person is never your mom's sister
or your maternal grandma.

20:53.800 --> 20:56.000
That's the narrative
that your moms have spread.

20:56.600 --> 20:58.560
Except for their own mother and sister,

20:58.640 --> 21:00.360
everyone else is evil, dear!

21:03.600 --> 21:05.600
Guys, you all know

21:05.680 --> 21:08.240
how hard your maternal uncle worked
to build his career. Right?

21:09.280 --> 21:11.040
But your paternal uncle? Total scoundrel.

21:15.640 --> 21:17.440
Around 3:30 a.m., we had dinner.

21:17.520 --> 21:19.640
By 4 a.m., we finally opened our books.

21:20.400 --> 21:21.320
Kuntal looked at me.

21:21.400 --> 21:23.200
Ten minutes later, I looked at him.
He said,

21:23.280 --> 21:24.280
"In the morning,

21:25.280 --> 21:26.200
with fresh mind…"

21:29.920 --> 21:30.960
So we went to sleep.

21:31.960 --> 21:34.240
Seven in the morning,
there was a kick on the door. Bang!

21:35.440 --> 21:36.560
The villain enters.

21:38.360 --> 21:39.440
It was a single bed.

21:39.520 --> 21:42.280
I was sleeping against the wall.
Kuntal was on the outside.

21:42.360 --> 21:44.320
I opened my eyes.

21:45.160 --> 21:48.920
Kuntal's dad took three giant steps
and was standing over us.

21:50.840 --> 21:52.120
Zero communication.

21:54.960 --> 21:57.040
He yanked his hair and pulled him up.

21:58.440 --> 22:01.400
That's where I first understood
the definition of a right angle triangle.

22:06.960 --> 22:08.560
Direct question.

22:08.640 --> 22:10.920
Quote-unquote, true story, guys.
I'm not making this up.

22:11.000 --> 22:13.040
He said, "You rascal.
My wife may be innocent,

22:13.120 --> 22:14.480
but I'm not an idiot."

22:15.440 --> 22:18.240
"A bridge collapses in this city
and it doesn't make the newspaper?"

22:19.680 --> 22:20.720
Valid question.

22:21.960 --> 22:23.160
Like father, like son.

22:24.480 --> 22:26.640
Kuntal goes, "Dad, the bridge collapsed
late at night."

22:28.240 --> 22:29.240
"Till then the papers had…"

22:29.320 --> 22:31.160
Already gone to print.

22:31.240 --> 22:32.640
"Already gone to print."

22:32.720 --> 22:34.880
I thought it was a good answer.
Genius answer.

22:35.600 --> 22:37.120
Made sense to me. Not to Uncle.

22:38.320 --> 22:40.120
He started beating him right there.

22:40.800 --> 22:43.320
Grabbed him by the hair,
turned into Singham. One. Two. Three.

22:44.800 --> 22:48.080
Now, guys, I want you to track
my geographical location.

22:48.960 --> 22:50.320
I'm a guest in this house.

22:51.680 --> 22:54.880
Guests have a certain respect.
And the host is supposed to show him that.

22:56.520 --> 22:57.760
The guest here,

22:57.840 --> 22:59.320
is lying here.

23:00.520 --> 23:02.040
And the host

23:02.120 --> 23:05.120
is getting beaten up right here.
Right next to me.

23:06.480 --> 23:09.320
I mean, if the guest breathes too hard,
he'll also receive the beating.

23:10.840 --> 23:13.400
So I played dead.

23:14.640 --> 23:16.440
I'd learned this back in third grade.

23:16.520 --> 23:18.360
If you see a bear, don't run.

23:20.160 --> 23:21.280
Play dead.

23:27.080 --> 23:30.080
Ten minutes later,
despite the brutal beating,

23:31.200 --> 23:33.120
Kuntal walked back in,
still fixing his hair.

23:34.240 --> 23:37.240
That guy was built different.
Nothing embarrases him anymore.

23:41.320 --> 23:43.520
He goes, "You want breakfast?"

23:48.680 --> 23:51.280
I said, "Put yourself
back together first."

23:53.960 --> 23:55.720
"Your leg's still over there."

23:56.440 --> 23:57.520
He goes, "Are you scared?"

23:58.480 --> 24:00.240
"This is Dad's way of showing love."

24:00.960 --> 24:03.760
I said, "Your dad really loves you, man."

24:07.000 --> 24:10.080
Monday passed. Tuesday passed.
We figured we were in the safe zone now.

24:10.760 --> 24:14.400
On Wednesday, Kuntal says,
"Mom made <i>halwa</i>. Wanna come over?"

24:14.960 --> 24:17.160
Guys, I'd go to hell for the <i>halwa</i>.

24:18.120 --> 24:19.360
We reached his house.

24:19.440 --> 24:22.080
They had this iron gate.
We'd always kick it open.

24:22.160 --> 24:24.840
It was a big iron gate.
We'd always kick it hard.

24:24.920 --> 24:27.720
Aunty would be sitting on the veranda.
I'd say, "Hi, Aunty."

24:28.520 --> 24:30.200
She'd greet me and head to the kitchen.

24:31.040 --> 24:33.120
That day, the same routine.
I kicked the gate open.

24:33.200 --> 24:34.720
Just as I was about to greet her,

24:34.800 --> 24:37.560
I looked up, and it wasn't Aunty.
It was Uncle.

24:39.720 --> 24:41.920
Wearing a sleeveless vest,
revealing nipple line

24:43.320 --> 24:45.200
and blue checked lungi.

24:49.480 --> 24:51.960
Dark blue, light blue,
Dark blue, light blue.

24:52.040 --> 24:54.720
You got the idea, right?
Big checks, not the tiny ones.

24:56.120 --> 24:58.120
And spread out in front of him

24:58.200 --> 25:00.960
were Monday's, Tuesday's
and Wednesday's newspapers.

25:05.440 --> 25:07.720
I looked at Kuntal
and I said, "I'm leaving."

25:09.480 --> 25:11.880
He goes, "Yeah, bro. Go ahead."

25:15.880 --> 25:18.160
If you kick the gate,
won't his Dad notice?

25:18.880 --> 25:21.440
Uncle goes, "Well, well, well.
The revolutionaries are here."

25:22.480 --> 25:25.120
"The future of India has arrived.
Please come in."

25:25.200 --> 25:27.720
"Roll out the flowers for them.
Come on. Come on."

25:28.560 --> 25:30.200
One thing I need to tell dads.

25:30.280 --> 25:32.000
What is this way of talking to us?

25:33.360 --> 25:35.320
Even on our worst days,
they just taunt us.

25:36.400 --> 25:38.840
I walked up, touched Uncle's feet,
"Greetings, Uncle."

25:40.520 --> 25:42.200
He goes, "Live long, Khan Sahab.
Live long."

25:42.760 --> 25:44.320
"So, Shah Rukh, Salman,

25:45.640 --> 25:46.760
come here."

25:46.840 --> 25:49.640
"Where's that bridge-collapse script
of yours?"

25:51.040 --> 25:53.080
I said, "What do you mean?"

25:54.920 --> 25:56.320
"I didn't get you."

25:57.160 --> 25:59.240
He goes, "You were out
all Saturday night."

26:00.840 --> 26:02.480
"The bridge collapsed, right?
Where is it?"

26:03.480 --> 26:04.640
Kuntal jumps in, "Dad,

26:06.200 --> 26:07.560
the bridge really did collapse."

26:07.640 --> 26:09.680
I was like, "What the hell, man?"

26:11.680 --> 26:13.400
I had no idea
where he was going with this.

26:15.080 --> 26:16.640
Even his dad looked confused, "So?"

26:17.240 --> 26:19.400
Then Kuntal goes,
"You know what our country's like."

26:22.400 --> 26:24.320
I was like, why bring
the country into this now?

26:26.400 --> 26:28.440
Uncle was shocked.
He took off his glasses.

26:29.720 --> 26:31.360
"What do you mean,
what our country's like?"

26:32.440 --> 26:33.720
Kuntal goes, "Dad,

26:33.800 --> 26:35.520
after the bridge collapsed

26:35.600 --> 26:37.360
the contractor bribed everyone,

26:38.360 --> 26:40.400
and completely…"

26:40.480 --> 26:42.360
Buried the story.

26:43.000 --> 26:46.280
I swear, there was respect
in Uncle's eyes for Kuntal.

26:47.160 --> 26:49.520
For a second he was like,
"Is he actually my father?"

26:51.920 --> 26:53.880
Even I felt like bowing down
at Kuntal's feet.

26:55.080 --> 26:56.560
Right then, Uncle stood up,

26:56.640 --> 26:58.560
pulled his belt out of his lungi…

27:00.960 --> 27:02.760
and beat the life out of us.

27:02.840 --> 27:03.880
He's like, "You scoundrels!"

27:03.960 --> 27:05.800
"There's a limit to lying."

27:07.360 --> 27:09.600
"What bike racks up
600 kilometers in one week,

27:09.680 --> 27:10.960
just going to school?"

27:11.880 --> 27:15.640
He belted us.
He really went to town on us.

27:15.720 --> 27:17.480
After the beating, Kuntal asks,

27:17.560 --> 27:19.080
"You okay? You didn't feel bad, right?"

27:20.600 --> 27:22.120
I said, "No. Why?"

27:22.200 --> 27:24.240
He goes, "You know what this means?"
I said, "What?"

27:24.320 --> 27:26.640
He's like,
"This means my dad loves you too."

27:28.960 --> 27:30.120
I said…

27:32.320 --> 27:35.360
I said, "You know, I'd be perfectly fine
if your dad loved me a little less."

27:36.480 --> 27:37.840
That trauma never healed.

27:37.920 --> 27:40.080
Not because Uncle beat me.
That's not the trauma.

27:40.160 --> 27:42.280
It's okay, he's my friend's dad.
It happens.

27:43.360 --> 27:45.880
The real trauma?
I saw Uncle in his underwear.

27:47.160 --> 27:48.960
Who wears French-cut briefs, man?

27:53.160 --> 27:55.040
You know, school days were something else.

27:56.160 --> 27:57.680
Every street, every corner,
every square was yours.

27:57.760 --> 27:59.960
Every neighborhood, had a house
where you'd get fed.

28:00.040 --> 28:02.040
There's nothing like
growing up in your own town.

28:02.120 --> 28:03.080
Right?

28:03.160 --> 28:04.720
Life is actually fun and games,

28:05.320 --> 28:07.440
till it is actually not.

28:07.520 --> 28:09.800
Ever notice that?
Life changes gears without warning.

28:09.880 --> 28:11.200
Goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,

28:11.280 --> 28:12.560
goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,

28:12.640 --> 28:13.720
debt!

28:16.560 --> 28:18.720
How the hell did that happen?

28:18.800 --> 28:20.560
I wasn't prepared for this.

28:21.520 --> 28:23.320
Nobody tells you
this is where life is headed.

28:24.640 --> 28:26.320
It happened to me too.

28:26.400 --> 28:28.400
At the age of twenty,
I had to leave my hometown.

28:28.480 --> 28:29.800
How many of you have seen <i>Tathastu</i>?

28:31.640 --> 28:34.000
If you haven't, that's okay.
If you have, you know what I mean.

28:34.080 --> 28:36.320
I'd gotten a little too carried away.
I was kind of a gangster in Indore.

28:36.400 --> 28:37.640
"Gangster" is a stretch.

28:37.720 --> 28:39.640
I just wanted to be famous in my city.

28:39.720 --> 28:41.320
So I got a little carried away.
Dad did not know.

28:41.400 --> 28:42.600
He said, "You need to leave this city."

28:42.680 --> 28:44.720
So the plan was to send me to Delhi.

28:44.800 --> 28:46.640
That's when I thought,
"I could be a radio jockey."

28:46.720 --> 28:48.840
I went to Delhi. Checked out some courses.

28:48.920 --> 28:50.480
Came back,

28:50.560 --> 28:52.400
told Mom,

28:52.480 --> 28:54.280
"This is the cost of the course."

28:54.360 --> 28:55.480
"Tell your husband."

28:58.440 --> 29:00.000
A couple of days later, I got summoned.

29:01.120 --> 29:02.520
He goes, "Hey, come here."

29:02.600 --> 29:05.040
When you're 20,
you can't answer questions directly.

29:05.120 --> 29:07.400
It is your national duty to talk back.

29:08.960 --> 29:10.120
I said, "Yes?"

29:11.600 --> 29:12.640
"So,

29:13.200 --> 29:14.720
how much?"

29:14.800 --> 29:17.400
I said, "I've got about seven
or eight hundred rupees."

29:20.520 --> 29:22.080
He goes, "Have some manners."

29:23.600 --> 29:25.000
"Answer properly."

29:25.080 --> 29:26.360
"I'm asking about the institute!"

29:26.440 --> 29:28.120
Then ask the whole question, man,

29:28.200 --> 29:29.240
that what's cost of the course.

29:29.320 --> 29:31.280
Talking in half sentences,
and then blaming me.

29:31.880 --> 29:32.800
I said, "Oh, about that."

29:32.880 --> 29:35.000
"The course is for six months.
It costs 80,000 rupees."

29:35.880 --> 29:37.440
He goes,
"Will they give you a proper receipt?"

29:40.240 --> 29:41.360
I guess so.

29:42.720 --> 29:44.400
What is this, a hardware store?

29:45.520 --> 29:47.200
Like I'm gonna pocket 300 bucks?

29:48.920 --> 29:51.440
Honestly, UPI ruined everything.

29:52.880 --> 29:53.920
It's true.

29:54.760 --> 29:57.440
I feel bad for kids today.
How do you even steal money anymore?

29:58.320 --> 29:59.560
What excuse do you give your parents?

29:59.640 --> 30:01.560
Everything's online now. What a disaster.

30:05.520 --> 30:07.480
I said, "I'm sure they'll give a receipt.
It's a big institute."

30:07.560 --> 30:09.800
Dad goes, "Dear, the whole city's talking
about your antics."

30:10.720 --> 30:11.800
"How do I know

30:11.880 --> 30:14.320
you wont smoke away 80,000 rupees
in six months?"

30:17.720 --> 30:20.120
That one really hurt.
It hurt so much.

30:20.200 --> 30:22.640
Despite being my dad,
does he not know the rates?

30:27.880 --> 30:30.080
I didn't say it out loud. Just thought it.

30:31.200 --> 30:34.160
Then he said the one thing
no son or daughter ever wants to hear.

30:35.680 --> 30:36.840
He said to me,

30:38.440 --> 30:39.840
"I'm coming with you."

30:48.200 --> 30:50.720
And I gave the only sensible answer
any son or daughter would give.

30:51.720 --> 30:53.000
"Let's take Mom too."

30:54.640 --> 30:57.440
I said, "Mom…" He goes, "Arbaz
and Zeeshan have exams. How can she go?"

30:57.520 --> 30:58.560
"It's just you and me, got it?"

30:59.400 --> 31:01.240
There's a saying that goes
that when Dad speaks, you shut up,

31:01.320 --> 31:02.560
and when Mom speaks,
you open up.

31:03.200 --> 31:04.480
I couldn't say anything to Dad.

31:04.560 --> 31:07.160
So I went straight to Mom. "Mom,

31:08.720 --> 31:11.080
talk to your husband.
Why is he like this?"

31:11.760 --> 31:13.600
Instead of consoling me,

31:13.680 --> 31:15.360
she started complaining,

31:15.440 --> 31:17.680
"I am the one stuck in the middle."

31:19.320 --> 31:21.120
"You say one thing. He says another."

31:21.200 --> 31:22.960
"You both keep fighting."

31:23.040 --> 31:25.520
"The day I lose my mind,
I'll just get up and leave."

31:27.600 --> 31:28.560
Really?

31:29.600 --> 31:32.200
It's been twenty years.
She's still right here.

31:33.720 --> 31:37.120
She's still here,
yet she continues cribbing to me.

31:37.200 --> 31:39.040
I challenge her, "Go on, leave once."

31:39.840 --> 31:42.320
"We watch daily soap every day.
Why not base one episode on our family?"

31:43.800 --> 31:44.920
I'd love to see the promo.

31:45.000 --> 31:47.560
"Will Ismail ever bring Kulsum back?"

31:48.200 --> 31:49.040
Am I right?

31:52.880 --> 31:53.960
In front of me, she puts on a performance.

31:54.040 --> 31:55.400
The second her husband walks in,
she springs to life,

31:55.480 --> 31:56.440
"Should I make you tea?"

31:57.680 --> 31:59.720
"Tea? Should I make tea? Tea?"

32:03.200 --> 32:04.280
Flatterer.

32:07.600 --> 32:09.480
We booked a ticket for a few days later.

32:09.560 --> 32:10.640
You must know.

32:10.720 --> 32:12.280
There are a lot of dads here.

32:12.360 --> 32:13.520
Sir, you must be aware.

32:13.600 --> 32:16.200
At the railway station
or the airport or the bus stand,

32:16.280 --> 32:19.600
if you reach four or five hours early,
you get some tax discount, right?

32:20.680 --> 32:22.000
Is that a thing? Tell me.

32:22.720 --> 32:23.880
No?

32:23.960 --> 32:25.800
Then why do you go there so early?

32:27.160 --> 32:29.280
What exactly are you getting out of it?

32:34.560 --> 32:36.880
We reached the station at 12:30.

32:37.640 --> 32:41.040
The place was deserted. Just me and Dad,
watching a guy sweep the platform.

32:44.560 --> 32:47.200
Anyone ever traveled alone with your dad?
Give me a cheer?

32:49.680 --> 32:52.160
The biggest downside
of traveling with dads is

32:52.240 --> 32:54.320
the nonstop life lessons.

32:55.040 --> 32:56.240
They start the moment
you get to the station.

32:56.320 --> 32:58.400
"Coal engines are different.
Steam engines are different.

32:59.520 --> 33:01.880
"Meter gauge is different.
Broad gauge is different."

33:02.760 --> 33:06.040
And then comes the disclaimer.
"No one told me but I'm telling you."

33:06.960 --> 33:09.560
Sir, skip it. Even you didn't know.
It probably wasn't that important.

33:10.280 --> 33:11.440
Let it go.

33:17.120 --> 33:18.360
Every dad has just one mission.

33:18.440 --> 33:20.840
Turn their kid into a <i>Roadies</i> contestant.

33:22.520 --> 33:24.600
The train leaves at 4:20.

33:24.680 --> 33:26.880
At 4:19, this man says to me,

33:26.960 --> 33:28.600
"Go get a bottle of water."

33:31.200 --> 33:32.600
Could've said that earlier, Your Majesty.

33:33.240 --> 33:34.400
I've been sitting right here.

33:35.120 --> 33:37.160
The water stall looked like a riot.

33:37.240 --> 33:38.720
People were fighting
with knives and daggers.

33:40.320 --> 33:42.120
I didn't buy that water bottle. I won it.

33:43.400 --> 33:44.400
I hopped onto a moving train.

33:44.480 --> 33:47.960
And he's busy chatting with random people.

33:48.040 --> 33:50.280
Ten minutes later,
he asks the most pointless question.

33:50.360 --> 33:51.680
Wasted the universe's time.

33:54.240 --> 33:56.000
I'm sitting right next to him. He goes,

33:56.080 --> 33:57.200
"So, young guy,

33:57.280 --> 33:58.400
did you get the water?"

33:59.320 --> 34:00.920
What am I holding then? Mango juice?

34:03.560 --> 34:05.040
I mean, I didn't say it out loud.

34:05.120 --> 34:06.960
I just thought it.

34:07.040 --> 34:08.480
Then he asked, "How much was it?"

34:08.560 --> 34:10.440
I said, "Twenty rupees."

34:11.120 --> 34:12.280
He's like, "What's the MRP?"

34:22.400 --> 34:25.719
I was trying to remember
if I had a five-rupee coin in my pocket.

34:28.159 --> 34:29.920
I'd rather suffer loss myself

34:30.920 --> 34:33.000
than sit through another lecture
over five rupees.

34:34.639 --> 34:36.920
But my luck, not a single five rupee coin.

34:38.679 --> 34:40.159
He says, "What's the MRP?"

34:41.320 --> 34:42.800
I replied, "Fifteen rupees."

34:43.400 --> 34:44.719
He, "So where are the five rupees?"

34:45.960 --> 34:47.360
I said, "He didn't give them."

34:47.440 --> 34:50.520
He's like, "He didn't give
or you didn't take them?"

34:51.199 --> 34:52.639
What do you mean, "I didn't take them?"

34:52.719 --> 34:54.199
What do you mean by that?

34:54.280 --> 34:56.639
Like he was handing me the change,
"Sir, here's your five rupees."

34:56.719 --> 34:58.000
and I went, "Oh, hell no, man!"

35:00.320 --> 35:01.800
"Giving me five rupees back?"

35:02.440 --> 35:04.800
"Please keep it.
Buy a ticket to Disneyland with it."

35:06.360 --> 35:09.440
"And if there's anything left,
save it for your daughter's

35:09.520 --> 35:10.720
wedding."

35:10.800 --> 35:12.920
He practically fell at my feet,
"You're too generous, sir!"

35:14.920 --> 35:16.400
I rode here on his shoulders, you know.

35:18.720 --> 35:20.280
Dad goes, "No respect for five rupees."

35:20.360 --> 35:22.320
"Always wasting money."
Wasting money?

35:22.920 --> 35:25.000
That's wasting money?
That's a huge word for five rupees.

35:28.160 --> 35:30.840
Then came the lecture again.
"We walked to school on barbed wire."

35:32.720 --> 35:34.280
"Crossed rivers of acid."

35:35.360 --> 35:37.480
"And I bought
you 13,000-rupee skates."

35:42.040 --> 35:46.320
Early the next morning, we reached Delhi.

35:46.400 --> 35:49.080
It was around 6:30. He said,
"Come on. I'll buy you breakfast."

35:49.160 --> 35:51.440
I thought, nice. The man's feeding me.
He's a good man.

35:52.440 --> 35:54.840
We're walking. I'm a few steps ahead.
He calls from behind,

35:56.320 --> 35:57.400
I asked, "What happened, Dad?"

35:58.000 --> 35:59.440
He goes, "The way you walk…"

36:03.760 --> 36:05.040
He gave me feedback on walking.

36:05.920 --> 36:07.560
Apparently I was walking wrong.

36:08.400 --> 36:10.680
You mean I'm not putting
one foot after another correctly.

36:11.360 --> 36:12.360
Wow. Really, wow.

36:12.440 --> 36:15.080
Was I walking like this? Like this?

36:15.160 --> 36:16.400
Or like this?

36:18.280 --> 36:20.120
I wanted to have breakfast,
so I ignored it.

36:20.200 --> 36:21.760
Figured let him say whatever he wants.

36:21.840 --> 36:23.760
Let's ignore him. Why say anything?

36:23.840 --> 36:25.880
I quietly ate my breakfast.
Then I noticed,

36:26.640 --> 36:29.120
he had a bite in his hand
and he was just staring at me.

36:30.440 --> 36:31.720
That's when I knew.

36:33.000 --> 36:34.400
I'd messed up chewing the food.

36:36.480 --> 36:38.800
A man who gives feedback over walking
will definitely give feedback on chewing.

36:41.480 --> 36:43.400
So I started chewing thirty-two times.

36:44.800 --> 36:46.120
One chew for every tooth.

36:48.200 --> 36:50.400
I again noticed that this man

36:50.480 --> 36:52.520
is not eating and just staring at me.

36:52.600 --> 36:54.360
I started getting nervous
thinking he might slap me.

36:55.360 --> 36:56.640
So I finally asked,

36:56.720 --> 36:58.560
"What happened, Dad?
Why aren't you eating?"

36:58.640 --> 37:00.520
You know what he said?
"Nothing, son."

37:00.600 --> 37:03.200
"Watching you eat feels like I am eating."

37:06.560 --> 37:07.600
What 'oh'?

37:09.440 --> 37:11.160
Come on, Mom has been saying this
for twenty years.

37:13.400 --> 37:14.600
So, I said, "Dad,

37:14.680 --> 37:16.880
that's fine, but keep eating
with your hands too."

37:20.880 --> 37:21.840
Was I wrong?

37:22.360 --> 37:23.760
I mean, watching me eat
fills your stomach,

37:23.840 --> 37:25.360
but keep feeding yourself too.

37:25.440 --> 37:27.080
You know, prayer does help in healing

37:27.160 --> 37:28.600
but you still have to take your medicine.

37:29.280 --> 37:30.320
Right?

37:31.040 --> 37:33.240
He said, "I am eating. You eat. Just eat."
So I did.

37:33.800 --> 37:35.320
I kept eating.

37:35.400 --> 37:37.920
When I looked up,
I saw Dad was wiping away tears.

37:39.880 --> 37:41.920
I'd never seen him cry before.

37:42.880 --> 37:44.240
Dads don't cry.

37:44.320 --> 37:45.680
Dads look right standing tall,

37:45.760 --> 37:47.720
scolding you, keeping you in line.

37:48.360 --> 37:49.960
A great man isn't one
who holds his head high.

37:50.040 --> 37:51.160
A great man is someone

37:51.240 --> 37:54.200
who makes his father walk with pride.
That's a great man.

38:02.760 --> 38:05.360
The first time
you see someone you love cry,

38:05.440 --> 38:07.080
you feel like setting the world on fire.

38:08.400 --> 38:10.200
If a stranger cries, what's it to me?

38:16.040 --> 38:17.960
If it were my mom crying,

38:19.040 --> 38:20.400
that'd be different.

38:21.640 --> 38:24.080
But folks, basic human courtesy demands

38:25.400 --> 38:27.000
that if someone's crying
right in front of you…

38:29.240 --> 38:31.800
So out of basic human decency, I asked,

38:32.760 --> 38:33.920
"What happened?"

38:35.440 --> 38:36.680
He said, "Nothing, son."

38:37.200 --> 38:38.280
"Just that

38:39.240 --> 38:41.960
I remembered something your mom
and I were talking the other day."

38:42.560 --> 38:44.520
I asked, "About what?"

38:44.600 --> 38:46.720
"About how you are not coming back home."

38:50.200 --> 38:51.760
I said, "No, I will come back."

38:53.160 --> 38:55.560
He smiled. "Everyone thinks
that they'll come back."

38:56.440 --> 38:57.800
"But once you leave home,

38:57.880 --> 38:59.520
coming back isn't that easy."

38:59.600 --> 39:01.480
"This is the nature of a displacement.

39:01.560 --> 39:04.000
"At first, you can't come back
because you can't afford to."

39:04.080 --> 39:07.880
"And by the time you can,
all the doors leading back are closed."

39:07.960 --> 39:09.920
I said, "But Dad, I'm just studying."

39:11.320 --> 39:13.280
"After a while, I'll try to come home
every weekend."

39:13.880 --> 39:15.000
"Then after that,

39:15.080 --> 39:16.200
then comes the job."

39:16.920 --> 39:18.200
"And then

39:18.280 --> 39:20.040
Life gets busier."

39:20.880 --> 39:22.400
"The number of days you visit decrease."

39:22.480 --> 39:23.920
"Then you'll only come for festivals."

39:25.240 --> 39:26.720
"After a while, not even for those."

39:27.920 --> 39:29.880
"You'll build a life in the big city."

39:29.960 --> 39:32.360
"And we'll grow old, waiting for you,
in the small town."

39:32.440 --> 39:33.640
"Our lives will become,

39:33.720 --> 39:35.760
'He came this Diwali.'
'He couldn't make it this year.'"

39:35.840 --> 39:37.440
"'He came for Eid.'
'He couldn't this time.'"

39:37.520 --> 39:38.760
"'Maybe he'll stay longer.'"

39:38.840 --> 39:40.880
"'This time he's leaving too soon.'
'This time he's not coming at all.'"

39:41.840 --> 39:43.440
"And one day, we'll die waiting."

39:44.200 --> 39:45.560
"That's life, son."

39:45.640 --> 39:47.520
"I couldn't stay with my parents either."

39:47.600 --> 39:48.640
"That's what people do."

39:49.400 --> 39:52.000
"We like to believe
that we've raised you in a way

39:52.080 --> 39:53.320
that you can stand on your own."

39:54.360 --> 39:56.240
"When you are home,
a lot of things get done for you."

39:56.880 --> 39:59.880
"Visiting a city and living there,
are two very different things."

40:00.440 --> 40:03.520
"When you're home, if you have
to leave early, we're awake all night."

40:05.480 --> 40:07.560
"If you didn't like one thing,
your mom would cook four more."

40:08.760 --> 40:10.720
"From tomorrow, no one will
be here to check on you."

40:11.720 --> 40:13.160
"It'll just be you and the world."

40:13.760 --> 40:15.360
"And the world isn't kind."

40:15.440 --> 40:17.520
And then my dad broke down.

40:18.080 --> 40:19.400
Tears welled up in his eyes.

40:19.480 --> 40:21.880
And honestly, I was enjoying this.

40:30.960 --> 40:34.360
I was laughing
not because he was crying.

40:34.440 --> 40:37.680
But because all the emotional things
he was saying

40:37.760 --> 40:39.400
sounded like features to me.

40:41.200 --> 40:42.440
I mean, what are you saying?

40:43.200 --> 40:44.560
No one is going to pester me anymore.

40:46.440 --> 40:50.040
So, I can wake up if I want or sleep in?

40:50.120 --> 40:52.960
I can go out if I want,
or choose to stay at home.

40:54.280 --> 40:55.680
Sounds pretty good.

40:57.360 --> 40:58.680
We reached the institute.

40:59.800 --> 41:03.840
The first time I met the receptionist,
I had even asked her age.

41:05.240 --> 41:07.240
No matter how bad life gets,

41:07.320 --> 41:08.800
the procedure needs to be followed.

41:09.600 --> 41:11.120
A process is a process is a…

41:11.200 --> 41:13.560
- Process.
- Girls in the house, give me a cheer.

41:15.160 --> 41:16.520
Let me tell you something.

41:16.600 --> 41:18.800
There's a guy who has a crush on you.
Perfectly harmless.

41:19.320 --> 41:21.160
Way below your league.

41:21.240 --> 41:22.600
You'd never date him.

41:23.480 --> 41:24.600
Okay?

41:24.680 --> 41:26.560
But the moment his parents show up,

41:27.640 --> 41:29.840
why do you start acting
like a perfect daughter-in-law?

41:34.320 --> 41:37.080
The receptionist put on such a show
in front of my dad.

41:37.160 --> 41:39.040
The only thing she didn't do
was cover her head.

41:39.640 --> 41:42.240
She was one step away from touching
his feet and receiving a gift.

41:42.320 --> 41:44.680
"Uncle, don't worry.
We'll take great care of Zakir."

41:44.760 --> 41:47.040
"Don't worry, Uncle.
We'll look after him."

41:47.120 --> 41:49.800
My dad had caught my love letters
at the age of twelve.

41:50.960 --> 41:52.720
He knew exactly what kind of guy I was.

41:53.680 --> 41:55.600
He said, "Dear, don't take
too much care of him."

41:56.640 --> 41:58.320
"Or he'll start taking care of you."

41:59.280 --> 42:00.840
"That won't end well for you."

42:01.560 --> 42:04.400
This is why I didn't want to bring him.
He says things like this in public.

42:05.400 --> 42:07.520
Then he gave his phone number
to the landlord,

42:07.600 --> 42:08.880
to the caretaker,

42:08.960 --> 42:10.240
the guy who got me the room.

42:10.320 --> 42:11.760
Not only this, he gave his number

42:11.840 --> 42:13.400
to the water supplier, to the ironing guy.

42:14.200 --> 42:16.240
Good thing, his train was at 10:00
and it was already 5:00.

42:24.200 --> 42:27.200
I said, "Dad, it's already 5:00.
It's getting late."

42:28.640 --> 42:30.160
We rushed to the station.

42:32.360 --> 42:33.840
The moment we got there, he said,

42:33.920 --> 42:35.320
"Come here. I want to show you something."

42:35.400 --> 42:36.720
He walked to the water stall.

42:40.040 --> 42:42.360
He said to the vendor, "One bottle."
He gave the bottle.

42:42.440 --> 42:43.840
Dad asked, "How much?",
the vendor said, "20 rupees."

42:43.920 --> 42:45.760
Dad goes, "But the MRP is 15."

42:45.840 --> 42:49.360
The vendor snatched it right back.

42:50.440 --> 42:54.040
He says, "Sir, that's the price.
Take it or leave it."

42:55.320 --> 42:59.160
I tell you. I've never felt
this amazing level of satisfaction.

42:59.240 --> 43:01.880
I had never experienced it, guys.

43:03.560 --> 43:06.640
Peak satisfaction.
That day I finally knew what it felt like.

43:06.720 --> 43:07.880
It was awesome.

43:10.120 --> 43:12.360
He got on the train.
I thought, once he leaves, I will be free.

43:12.960 --> 43:15.000
Just as the train was about to leave,
he said, "Zakir,

43:15.080 --> 43:16.920
don't stick your hands or feet outside."

43:17.520 --> 43:19.680
I said, "Dad, you're the one on the train.
You follow this advice."

43:21.200 --> 43:23.800
"Don't share rickshaw with two strangers.
Share only if there's one."

43:23.880 --> 43:26.120
This was before Ola and Uber.

43:26.200 --> 43:27.280
I was like, "Yeah, I know, Dad."

43:27.360 --> 43:29.600
He thought I was Gangadhar,
but I'm Shaktimaan. I'll manage.

43:32.280 --> 43:34.160
Then he said, "One more thing."

43:34.240 --> 43:36.360
"It's a new city now.
It's not your home anymore."

43:36.440 --> 43:38.840
"Learn to be cautious.
Staying humble won't kill you."

43:38.920 --> 43:40.960
"If someone insults you, let it go.
No need to react."

43:41.040 --> 43:43.160
"Tone down your attitude, okay?"

43:43.240 --> 43:44.200
The train started moving.

43:44.280 --> 43:46.240
So, there should be some closure
to the conversation.

43:46.320 --> 43:47.800
I said, "Don't worry, Dad.
I'll be careful."

43:48.560 --> 43:50.120
Fair enough?

43:51.360 --> 43:54.800
The train picked up speed.
I walked alongside it.

43:54.880 --> 43:57.760
One coach passed. Then another.
I thought let's turn back.

43:57.840 --> 43:58.920
I was just about to turn, guys.

43:59.000 --> 44:02.160
True story. My Dad was hanging halfway
out of the train, shouting,

44:02.240 --> 44:03.200
"Hey!"

44:04.240 --> 44:05.760
"Forget the last thing I said."

44:07.240 --> 44:09.200
"Don't be scared.
Your father's still alive."

44:12.560 --> 44:14.520
"You're a lion's son. Live like one."

44:21.120 --> 44:23.040
When he said this, I said,

44:23.120 --> 44:24.280
"Get back inside."

44:28.880 --> 44:30.080
What an inconsistent fellow.

44:32.160 --> 44:33.840
He confused me all over again.

44:34.680 --> 44:36.720
He'd told me this twice that morning.
Didn't scare me then.

44:36.800 --> 44:37.840
Now it did.

44:38.720 --> 44:39.960
Now I am scared.

44:40.840 --> 44:43.000
Because earlier,
he was standing beside me.

44:43.080 --> 44:44.280
So, I was not that scared.

44:45.240 --> 44:47.000
Now, he was getting farther away.

44:47.080 --> 44:48.440
So that thing was affecting me.

44:49.600 --> 44:51.000
That's the thing about fathers.

44:51.080 --> 44:53.080
You rarely understand their words
while they're beside you.

44:54.200 --> 44:56.320
You understand them after they're gone.

44:57.680 --> 44:59.440
Those who have lost theirs, ask them,

44:59.520 --> 45:01.280
how much shelter
his presence alone gave them.

45:02.600 --> 45:03.920
There's an old saying,
"When your brother dies,

45:04.000 --> 45:04.840
you lose your strength."

45:04.920 --> 45:06.160
"When your father dies,
you lose your roof."

45:06.920 --> 45:09.280
The sun, the rain, the cold, the heat,
all hit you directly.

45:10.200 --> 45:13.120
He may be difficult. He may be cranky.
But just having him around is a shelter.

45:13.200 --> 45:15.440
I stood there watching
that train disappear.

45:22.360 --> 45:25.560
I couldn't turn away for a long time.
I kept looking at that train for long.

45:26.560 --> 45:28.600
Because I knew, it wasn't
just my father leaving on that train,

45:28.680 --> 45:30.400
my childhood was leaving with him too.

45:30.480 --> 45:32.480
And you know
the worst thing about childhood?

45:33.120 --> 45:34.600
Childhood never dies slowly.

45:35.240 --> 45:38.120
It dies in an instant. Like an accident.

45:38.200 --> 45:40.080
Everyone remembers that moment
when something inside says,

45:40.160 --> 45:41.640
"It's time to grow up."

45:42.560 --> 45:44.840
After that every childish thing you do
feels fake.

45:44.920 --> 45:46.480
Even resting in your mom's lap is fake.

45:47.120 --> 45:48.520
It is just a memory

45:48.600 --> 45:50.400
of how innocent you used to be.

45:51.240 --> 45:54.360
I once wrote,
"I sold my innocence long ago."

45:55.000 --> 45:57.640
"I sold my innocence long ago."

45:57.720 --> 46:00.800
"Now I know,
I sold something that is priceless."

46:09.600 --> 46:12.680
The moment that train left,
everything Dad said started coming true.

46:13.280 --> 46:14.680
That visiting a city

46:14.760 --> 46:16.880
and living there,
are two very different things.

46:17.760 --> 46:19.560
I'd been to Delhi before.

46:19.640 --> 46:22.000
But I'd never experienced
a night that dark.

46:22.080 --> 46:24.480
You understand
what being alone in a crowd means

46:24.560 --> 46:26.360
when you go to a city that isn't home.

46:27.760 --> 46:30.640
But there are two things that can make
any strange city feel like home.

46:31.320 --> 46:32.720
One is friendship.

46:32.800 --> 46:34.000
Right?

46:34.080 --> 46:35.640
And second is hooking up.

46:41.600 --> 46:42.840
A love affair, my dear friends,

46:42.920 --> 46:45.360
can help you settle
even in the toughest place.

46:45.960 --> 46:47.520
If your kids are studying
away from home,

46:47.600 --> 46:48.960
and they seem completely settled…

46:50.960 --> 46:53.480
just know they're really feeling settled.

46:58.000 --> 46:59.240
Guys,

46:59.320 --> 47:00.680
friendship is a beautiful thing.

47:00.760 --> 47:03.520
They say boys don't have a maternal home,
they have friends.

47:08.760 --> 47:10.720
Friendship is such an amazing thing.

47:10.800 --> 47:13.680
No blood relation. No family ties.
Yet they stand by each other.

47:14.800 --> 47:18.080
Everything you do for a friend
is a 100 percent financial loss.

47:21.920 --> 47:22.760
You still do it.

47:22.840 --> 47:24.120
Because if your buddy says
we have to do it…

47:24.200 --> 47:25.640
You've to do it.

47:25.720 --> 47:28.400
That's how, like a blessing,
Vishwas came into my life.

47:33.320 --> 47:36.280
Living with Vishwas was one
of the happiest times of my life.

47:37.280 --> 47:38.960
He was my first roommate.

47:39.680 --> 47:42.480
Boys who've lived with other boys,
give me a cheer.

47:45.480 --> 47:47.320
There's nothing more fun than it.

47:48.160 --> 47:49.960
He wasn't bathing. Neither was I.

47:50.960 --> 47:52.960
He wasn't cleaning. Neither was I.

47:53.560 --> 47:56.240
The trash didn't bother him.
It didn't bother me either.

47:56.920 --> 47:59.160
We lived like rich kids,
but without money.

48:00.160 --> 48:02.840
It started with just the two of us.
Then more and more guys moved in.

48:04.080 --> 48:07.360
At one point, there were eleven,
sometimes twelve of us in that room.

48:07.440 --> 48:08.840
I didn't even know who they were.

48:10.200 --> 48:12.200
Every morning, I'd wake up and find
six people sleeping on the floor.

48:12.280 --> 48:14.120
I'd be like,
"Who the hell are these guys?"

48:16.080 --> 48:17.680
Our room would be filthy.

48:17.760 --> 48:20.000
Still more guys kept moving in.

48:20.080 --> 48:24.280
Vishwas said, "Our room's messy
because boys keep coming over."

48:24.360 --> 48:25.880
"Let's get a flat.
We'll only invite girls,

48:25.960 --> 48:27.080
the place will stay clean."

48:29.040 --> 48:31.360
The place did get cleaner.
But then exactly what I feared happened.

48:33.200 --> 48:34.520
Vishwas got a girlfriend.

48:36.200 --> 48:38.600
Now she was at our place all the time.

48:39.800 --> 48:42.200
Why am I walking around in long pajamas
inside my own house?

48:42.760 --> 48:44.640
I pay rent here too!

48:45.480 --> 48:48.360
Our old room,
people called it Underwear Capital.

48:49.880 --> 48:52.040
Eleven guys,
all lounging around in boxers.

48:52.800 --> 48:53.880
Visitors would walk in

48:53.960 --> 48:55.720
and their pants came off
before their shoes.

48:57.080 --> 48:59.960
They'd throw them aside
and go, "So, any chance of tea?"

49:00.920 --> 49:04.040
That's how comfortable it was.
And here we'd be, "Hello, how are you?"

49:06.880 --> 49:09.280
One day she came over.

49:09.360 --> 49:10.600
So, "Hi, hello."

49:10.680 --> 49:12.080
Now we had never had
any respectable guests.

49:12.160 --> 49:14.040
We had no idea how to be a good host.

49:14.120 --> 49:15.680
So I asked,
"Would you like anything else?"

49:15.760 --> 49:17.880
She said, "I could have some tea."

49:17.960 --> 49:19.360
Now, back then, if you were a bachelor…

49:19.440 --> 49:20.520
Now we have Swiggy, Zomato.

49:20.600 --> 49:23.320
You're a bachelor. What do you do?
Pull out your phone. Right?

49:23.400 --> 49:25.440
You'd say, "Let's just order tea.
It will be here in no time."

49:25.520 --> 49:29.280
But then she goes,
"Oh, no. I don't drink outside tea."

49:30.040 --> 49:31.720
So this is like game over.

49:32.280 --> 49:34.920
It's your first time at our place.
I can't ask you to make tea.

49:35.880 --> 49:37.800
Neither of us knows how to make it.

49:37.880 --> 49:40.440
So, now we are in a bind.
You won't be able to have tea.

49:40.520 --> 49:42.480
I was still thinking, when Vishwas said,

49:42.560 --> 49:44.920
and I saw this miracle with my own eyes,

49:46.320 --> 49:48.400
"Bro, I feel like making tea."

49:51.240 --> 49:53.640
I thought, that's what happens
when you get a girlfriend.

49:57.080 --> 49:59.120
For the next six months,
every time a guest came over,

49:59.680 --> 50:00.840
I'd ask, "Bro, want some tea?"

50:01.800 --> 50:04.160
"This idiot loves making it."

50:13.280 --> 50:15.960
Life was good. Sometimes I'd call home.
Sometimes I wouldn't.

50:16.040 --> 50:18.800
Slowly, those calls got fewer.
You become independent.

50:18.880 --> 50:21.480
Your conversations turn
into "Yeah. Okay. Fine."

50:22.080 --> 50:24.600
And you never call your dad.
You call your mom.

50:25.720 --> 50:27.840
Because their behavior doesn't
deserve a call.

50:28.920 --> 50:31.400
While you're talking to Mom,
Dad's yelling nonsense in the background.

50:31.480 --> 50:34.440
"Ask him if he's short on money
for his leisurely activities."

50:36.240 --> 50:38.280
"We'll send some.
We have an ATM over there."

50:38.360 --> 50:40.640
"Call and get money. Call and get money."

50:40.720 --> 50:43.040
And Mom, his number-one supporter,

50:43.640 --> 50:46.440
translates everything,
even though I heard every single word.

50:46.520 --> 50:49.440
"Your dad says
don't hesitate if you need anything."

50:50.360 --> 50:51.960
I'd be like, what a couple.

50:54.800 --> 50:57.200
It was a Monday in June 2015.

50:57.280 --> 50:58.600
I was working at an agency.

50:58.680 --> 51:01.680
It was an ad agency.

51:01.760 --> 51:03.920
This was before joining AIB.

51:04.800 --> 51:07.080
We were writing
a huge Father's Day campaign.

51:07.160 --> 51:08.760
I was one of the writers there.

51:08.840 --> 51:10.680
They hired a bunch of writers.

51:10.760 --> 51:12.720
And one senior writer had come
from Mumbai.

51:12.800 --> 51:14.400
She was leading the project.

51:14.480 --> 51:15.640
She was the head writer.

51:15.720 --> 51:17.400
Everyone had to write a script.

51:17.480 --> 51:19.360
That same day
it was Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.

51:19.440 --> 51:20.880
The party was at her house. Okay?

51:20.960 --> 51:22.120
He was busy getting things ready.

51:22.200 --> 51:24.040
I had to take my girlfriend there too.

51:24.120 --> 51:25.800
On Monday, I got to the office.

51:25.880 --> 51:27.240
Just then Kuntal texted me.

51:27.800 --> 51:29.760
"I'm in Delhi. Come meet me."

51:29.840 --> 51:31.840
You must have boarded the flight,

51:31.920 --> 51:33.680
you must've booked the flight.
Could've told me before.

51:33.760 --> 51:36.200
You can't just show up
and expect me to come.

51:36.960 --> 51:39.320
I said, "Meet me at the party tonight."

51:39.400 --> 51:40.800
He says, "Party? What party?"

51:41.600 --> 51:44.160
I said, "Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.
Come with us."

51:44.240 --> 51:45.560
He goes, "Will there be girls?"

51:46.920 --> 51:48.760
I said, "Yeah."
He goes, "Are they beautiful?"

51:49.520 --> 51:52.320
I said,
"Beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

51:53.040 --> 51:54.440
He goes, "Don't give me that nonsense."

51:56.360 --> 51:58.720
"I'll talk to Vishwas."
I said, "Do whatever you want."

52:01.800 --> 52:03.560
The seminar starts.

52:04.280 --> 52:05.720
Father's Day…

52:07.960 --> 52:10.080
The senior writer says,
"Who wrote Script 22?"

52:11.360 --> 52:12.560
I said, "Ma'am, I did."

52:13.400 --> 52:15.160
She says, "Mr. Khan,

52:15.880 --> 52:17.560
you've written only jokes."

52:20.160 --> 52:21.640
"There's no emotion in the script."

52:22.320 --> 52:24.040
I said, "I just wrote what I felt."

52:28.360 --> 52:30.600
She asked, "How's your relationship
with your father?"

52:31.560 --> 52:33.040
I said, "Ma'am, it's normal."

52:34.040 --> 52:35.320
She asked, "What does 'normal' mean?"

52:35.400 --> 52:36.880
I said, "Like every other guy."

52:38.040 --> 52:39.600
She asked, "And what's that like?"

52:39.680 --> 52:41.800
I said, "They are terrible."

52:44.280 --> 52:45.600
She goes, "Very funny. Shut up."

52:47.040 --> 52:49.000
"Tell me something.
Have you ever hugged your father?"

52:49.080 --> 52:50.160
"Like, with love?"

52:50.240 --> 52:52.760
I said, "Ma'am, is it
like an interview for me

52:52.840 --> 52:54.400
or it's like for everybody?"

52:54.480 --> 52:56.720
She said, "No.
It's just about men specifically."

52:56.800 --> 52:59.240
"Men have a very strange relationship
with their fathers."

52:59.320 --> 53:01.400
"Actually, all the guys answer this.
Boys, tell me."

53:01.480 --> 53:02.560
"Have you ever hugged your dad?"

53:02.640 --> 53:04.320
There were nine guys in that room.

53:04.400 --> 53:07.560
Believe it or not, I was the only one
who said, "I've hugged my father."

53:08.560 --> 53:10.240
She said, "But you said
your relationship isn't great."

53:10.320 --> 53:12.240
I said, "I do it every year. Twice."

53:19.640 --> 53:20.880
She said, "Twice? What's the logic?"

53:20.960 --> 53:23.160
I said, "Ma'am, I hug him on Eid
and again on Bakri Eid."

53:24.280 --> 53:26.600
She said, "Besides that?"
I said, "Nope."

53:28.360 --> 53:29.440
Then she said, "Okay, tell me."

53:29.520 --> 53:31.760
By now, I was getting nervous.
So I picked up my water bottle.

53:31.840 --> 53:34.040
She said, "Have you ever told your father

53:34.720 --> 53:35.720
'I love you'?"

53:36.520 --> 53:37.680
I literally spat out the water.

53:40.480 --> 53:42.480
I said, "Ma'am, he's my dad,
not my girlfriend."

53:44.160 --> 53:47.440
What next? You want me to ask
if my beloved has had dinner or not?

53:53.000 --> 53:54.160
She goes, "Shut up!"

53:55.160 --> 53:56.680
Then she said, "All the guys, tell me."

53:56.760 --> 53:58.880
"Have you ever said 'Thank you'
to your father?"

53:58.960 --> 54:00.880
One of the guys,
he's still one of my closest friends.

54:00.960 --> 54:02.400
He totally matched my vibe that day.

54:03.480 --> 54:04.760
He said, "But why?"

54:06.520 --> 54:07.840
I was like, he's the guy.

54:07.920 --> 54:09.200
He's the guy. He's the guy.

54:09.960 --> 54:11.600
She completely lost it.

54:11.680 --> 54:12.880
"All the guys go outside."

54:12.960 --> 54:16.040
"Go outside, call your fathers
and say thank you."

54:16.120 --> 54:18.480
Guys, who calls their dad?

54:19.960 --> 54:22.120
You call your mom.

54:22.680 --> 54:24.960
You only call your Dad
when Mom isn't answering.

54:25.720 --> 54:27.720
And even then, you just ask,
"Where's Mom?"

54:30.160 --> 54:31.600
That's the entire communication.

54:31.680 --> 54:34.520
"Dad, is Mom there?
No? Okay, I'll call later."

54:36.800 --> 54:39.080
So I called my dad.

54:39.160 --> 54:41.120
Out of nine guys,
eight dads didn't even answer.

54:42.800 --> 54:44.400
At least mine picked up.

54:45.400 --> 54:47.600
After declining the call twice,
he answered the third time, "Hello?"

54:47.680 --> 54:49.200
I greeted, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."

54:49.280 --> 54:52.200
You must greet your parents properly.

54:52.280 --> 54:54.480
First we greet them.
We don't just say, "Hello."

54:54.560 --> 54:56.800
I said, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."
He said, "Walaikum Assalam."

54:56.880 --> 54:58.320
"Should I call you back in 5 minutes?"

54:59.200 --> 55:00.720
I said, "What? Why?"

55:00.800 --> 55:02.320
He goes, "Your mom's not home."

55:04.640 --> 55:06.120
I asked, "Where is she?"

55:07.760 --> 55:09.320
He snickered,
"She's gone to a Kitty party."

55:10.560 --> 55:12.160
"If their kitty party ever
holds elections,

55:12.240 --> 55:14.240
your mom will become the Prime Minister."

55:17.800 --> 55:19.280
If parents are complaining
about each other,

55:19.360 --> 55:20.600
the world is functioning normally.

55:21.480 --> 55:23.960
I said, "Okay, okay.
Dad, actually I wanted to talk to you."

55:24.040 --> 55:24.920
"Oh?"

55:28.880 --> 55:30.160
"How much money do you need?"

55:32.280 --> 55:34.280
I said, "I don't need money.
I just wanted to talk."

55:35.080 --> 55:36.280
Dad goes, "What happened?"

55:37.000 --> 55:38.720
I said, "Nothing.
I just wanted to talk to you."

55:38.800 --> 55:40.040
He goes, "Did you have an accident?"

55:41.480 --> 55:43.280
"I told you not to buy
that secondhand car."

55:43.360 --> 55:44.320
"You bought that junk anyway."

55:44.400 --> 55:46.600
"I've had bad dreams for two days.
I knew something was wrong."

55:46.680 --> 55:47.920
"You ignorant, shameless boy!"

55:48.000 --> 55:49.920
"You bothered us here,
now you're bothering us from there too?"

55:51.520 --> 55:52.680
Huh?

55:53.880 --> 55:55.040
How did we end up here?

55:56.040 --> 55:58.120
I said I just wanted to talk.
How did I suddenly have an accident?

55:59.280 --> 56:00.880
"Are you hurt? Are you hurt?"

56:00.960 --> 56:02.120
"Are you hurt?"

56:02.200 --> 56:03.920
I said, "No, Dad. I'm fine."

56:04.000 --> 56:05.520
He goes, "Did the other guy die?"

56:11.720 --> 56:13.440
Right then the senior writer walked in.

56:13.520 --> 56:16.080
Nobody's dad picked up their calls.
So now she started motivating me.

56:16.160 --> 56:17.280
"Go on. Say it."

56:18.760 --> 56:20.760
Say what? The topic had changed.

56:22.200 --> 56:24.080
Somebody has died now.

56:35.880 --> 56:37.280
She said, "Go on, say it."

56:37.360 --> 56:38.680
I said "I will."

56:39.520 --> 56:40.640
I said, "No, Dad."

56:42.200 --> 56:43.680
He goes, "Are you at the police station?"

56:45.120 --> 56:47.360
"Listen. I'm sending
you Lawyer Uncle's number. Don't panic."

56:47.440 --> 56:49.920
"Don't tell the police anything.
Do exactly what I tell you."

56:50.000 --> 56:51.960
I said, "Dad, nothing has happened."
He yelled, "Then what happened?"

56:53.080 --> 56:54.800
The senior writer again, "Say it. Say it."

56:55.480 --> 56:57.040
I said I am saying it.

56:57.760 --> 56:59.920
Come on, tell me.
Does it feel like a "thank you" moment?

57:01.000 --> 57:02.440
Is it really a "thank you" moment?

57:03.800 --> 57:05.040
I finally said, "Dad,

57:05.640 --> 57:07.320
I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you, Dad."

57:07.840 --> 57:09.200
"Thank you, Dad. Thank you."

57:10.440 --> 57:12.080
She goes, "What did he say?"

57:12.160 --> 57:13.360
"He didn't say anything."

57:14.240 --> 57:15.400
She whispered, "Ask him."

57:15.480 --> 57:16.640
I said, "Hello?"

57:21.800 --> 57:22.960
Dad goes, "So, what?"

57:23.880 --> 57:26.560
What "So what?" There's nothing left!

57:33.280 --> 57:35.600
Does this man look like
the "thank you" type?

57:38.560 --> 57:39.840
I ignored him.

57:39.920 --> 57:41.640
By then,
Kuntal's four voice notes popped up.

57:41.720 --> 57:44.200
I figured, he must be telling me
what time he's getting there.

57:44.280 --> 57:46.320
So I played one on speaker,
without the earphones.

57:47.160 --> 57:48.560
It started with, "You bitch,

57:50.280 --> 57:52.600
I'll get you Bourbon biscuits."

57:53.240 --> 57:55.480
"Stay with me at the party, you bitch."

57:57.280 --> 57:58.680
Now everyone in the class is judging me.

57:58.760 --> 58:01.240
I don't have a single decent friend
whose voice notes can be played publicly.

58:02.520 --> 58:04.280
I panicked and turned my phone off.

58:08.040 --> 58:10.080
We spent another five or six hours
in the workshop.

58:10.160 --> 58:11.840
Then I came out, got into the car.

58:11.920 --> 58:13.200
I switched my phone back on.

58:13.280 --> 58:14.760
Something had definitely happened.

58:14.840 --> 58:16.600
Nothing happens in my life for years.

58:16.680 --> 58:17.960
Then everything happens in one day.

58:20.800 --> 58:22.000
Nine missed calls from Dad.

58:22.640 --> 58:24.160
Three from Mom.

58:24.240 --> 58:26.440
Six from my girlfriend.
Eleven from my building's security guard.

58:26.520 --> 58:27.680
Three from Vishwas.

58:27.760 --> 58:29.360
Two from Kuntal.
Something was definitely wrong.

58:29.960 --> 58:31.520
The missed-call alerts just kept coming.

58:33.040 --> 58:35.360
First thing, I called Dad.
Of course his phone was out of reach.

58:36.040 --> 58:37.760
I called Mom. She was at her kitty party.

58:38.320 --> 58:40.880
She goes, "Hello, son. Had lunch?
Make sure you eat."

58:42.520 --> 58:43.720
I said, "Where are you?"

58:43.800 --> 58:45.600
She goes, "I'm at kitty. And I'm winning!"

58:47.000 --> 58:47.960
I asked, "Where's Dad?"

58:48.040 --> 58:49.640
She said, "Oh, he's probably at home.
Grumpy as ever."

58:51.360 --> 58:53.520
"Good thing you got out."

58:53.600 --> 58:54.640
"Finally got some peace."

58:55.320 --> 58:57.280
"It's not easy living with that man."

58:57.360 --> 58:59.560
"My parents married me off,
so I'm making it work."

59:00.480 --> 59:03.120
"Anyone else would've left by now."

59:09.280 --> 59:10.480
I said, "Yeah, great."

59:10.560 --> 59:11.720
She goes, "Had lunch?
Don't forget to eat."

59:11.800 --> 59:13.840
I said, "I will, Mom. Okay, okay, okay."

59:14.560 --> 59:17.160
She hung up.
Then the building security guard called.

59:18.080 --> 59:20.160
He says, "Sir, there's a man downstairs."

59:22.520 --> 59:23.760
"He says

59:25.240 --> 59:26.080
he's your father."

59:28.520 --> 59:30.240
"I tried calling you,
but your phone was off."

59:30.320 --> 59:31.720
"Vishwas didn't answer either,

59:31.800 --> 59:33.120
so I called your girlfriend."

59:34.600 --> 59:36.480
I said, "Chandraprakash, you idiot!"

59:37.760 --> 59:39.720
"If a man says he's my father,

59:40.640 --> 59:42.800
how dare you call my girlfriend
in front of him?"

59:43.800 --> 59:44.760
He went…

59:46.440 --> 59:48.720
"Sir, I'm not that dumb."

59:48.800 --> 59:50.720
"I stepped aside before I called."

59:50.800 --> 59:52.120
"Of course I stepped aside
before I called her."

59:52.200 --> 59:54.040
"Didn't send him upstairs,
though I have the apartment keys."

59:54.880 --> 59:57.120
"I wanted to make sure
her things were not there."

59:59.640 --> 01:00:01.480
I said, "Thank you, Mr. Chandraprakash."

01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:05.080
He goes, "Sir, you didn't give me anything
for Holi."

01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:09.560
I said, "I'll be right there.
I'll take care of it."

01:00:09.640 --> 01:00:11.000
"Put Dad on."

01:00:11.080 --> 01:00:13.160
Dad goes, "Dear, where are you?
Are you okay? Are you okay?"

01:00:13.240 --> 01:00:15.680
I said, "I'm fine, Dad. Where are you?"
He goes, "You're at the police station?"

01:00:16.600 --> 01:00:17.880
I said,
"Dad, I'm not at the police station."

01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:21.480
"I'm just heading home. I am on the way."

01:00:21.560 --> 01:00:23.120
"Are you okay?
Are you coming in the ambulance?"

01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:26.600
I said, "I'm fine.
Why is your phone switched off?"

01:00:26.680 --> 01:00:28.040
He said, "My phone died, dear."

01:00:28.640 --> 01:00:30.720
I said, "Okay. I'm on my way.
Stay right there."

01:00:30.800 --> 01:00:31.920
He said, "You okay?" I said, "I'm fine."

01:00:32.560 --> 01:00:33.880
Then my girlfriend called.

01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:36.240
"Your dad's downstairs."

01:00:37.640 --> 01:00:39.160
"I'm having palpitations."

01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:41.600
"I'm freaking out. I'm getting anxious.
I'm getting rashes."

01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:44.840
I said, "Listen,

01:00:44.920 --> 01:00:46.040
my dad's here."

01:00:46.640 --> 01:00:47.920
"I'm already stressed."

01:00:48.720 --> 01:00:50.680
"As a partner, if you can help me,
that'll be great."

01:00:52.280 --> 01:00:53.840
"Just don't add to my problems."

01:00:55.040 --> 01:00:56.560
"Let this be about me this time."

01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:00.400
"Don't make this about you."

01:01:06.200 --> 01:01:08.360
She goes, "Okay, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry."

01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:10.000
She hung up.
Two seconds later, she called again.

01:01:10.080 --> 01:01:12.560
She goes, "Listen, I have a plan."

01:01:13.440 --> 01:01:14.520
I said, "Yeah, tell me."

01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:18.320
She goes, "Bring your dad to the party."

01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:24.200
"I'll meet him like a doll
and I'll impress him."

01:01:24.280 --> 01:01:26.160
"Then later, we'll tell him
I'm your girlfriend."

01:01:26.240 --> 01:01:27.680
"What do you think?"

01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:29.680
I said, "He's my dad,
not a deck of cards."

01:01:32.080 --> 01:01:33.600
"I'm not showing him off at parties."

01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:36.720
I said, "I'll handle it. Bye."

01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:42.680
I hung up. Dad was covered in dust.
He had come in slippers.

01:01:42.760 --> 01:01:44.120
He was wearing an Abibas pajama.

01:01:46.400 --> 01:01:48.360
A random shirt on top. Nothing matched.

01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:52.240
He'd boarded a flight to Delhi
wearing his home clothes.

01:01:53.160 --> 01:01:54.880
I said, "Dad, you flew all the way here?"

01:01:54.960 --> 01:01:57.600
He said, "I got worried. You were saying
all kinds of strange things."

01:01:58.680 --> 01:02:00.680
"I didn't even tell your mom
where I was going."

01:02:01.680 --> 01:02:02.840
I said, "Mom answered your call?"

01:02:02.920 --> 01:02:04.000
"That's beside the point."

01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:10.720
I said, "All I said was 'Thank you.'"

01:02:11.760 --> 01:02:13.320
Dad says, "And then you turned
your phone off!"

01:02:14.040 --> 01:02:15.120
I said, "So?"

01:02:15.200 --> 01:02:16.800
He said, "I thought
that 'thank you' was your goodbye."

01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:26.160
"Your generation always keeps
talking about depression."

01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:29.080
"I thought
my 26-year investment was gone."

01:02:31.920 --> 01:02:33.120
What am I, an insurance policy?

01:02:34.600 --> 01:02:36.200
He yelled, "So, why were you calling me?"

01:02:36.280 --> 01:02:39.080
I was like I can't say I only called
because someone asked me to.

01:02:39.160 --> 01:02:41.960
I said, "Dad, I just started
this new job at an ad agency."

01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:45.480
"They're doing something
for Father's Day."

01:02:45.560 --> 01:02:47.720
He taunts, "Oh, yeah,
you celebrate that a lot."

01:02:48.880 --> 01:02:50.440
What kind of tone was that?

01:02:51.360 --> 01:02:54.200
I said, "No, I mean, Dad,
I was writing something about it."

01:02:54.280 --> 01:02:55.680
"My job involves writing."

01:02:55.760 --> 01:03:00.240
"And while I was writing,
I suddenly felt like calling you

01:03:00.320 --> 01:03:01.600
and saying thank you."

01:03:01.680 --> 01:03:02.800
He just went, "Oh."

01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:05.840
"Then say it."

01:03:07.720 --> 01:03:09.200
I said, "I already did on the phone."

01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:10.800
"So now are you shy to say it to my face?"

01:03:11.400 --> 01:03:14.080
"If this were about your mom,
you'd have written nine poems by now."

01:03:14.960 --> 01:03:16.480
"That 'Mom's a flower.'"

01:03:17.160 --> 01:03:19.280
"'Mom's a rose garden.'"

01:03:19.360 --> 01:03:20.640
"And what's Dad? The thorn?"

01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:23.520
I said, "Come on, Dad."

01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:25.320
I said, "Dad…"

01:03:27.320 --> 01:03:29.200
But now, all I can think of is money.

01:03:30.640 --> 01:03:32.680
It made our relationship seem
so transactional.

01:03:34.520 --> 01:03:35.960
I said, "Dad,

01:03:37.040 --> 01:03:40.440
you tried to give me a good education."

01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:45.880
"You tried to make me a…"

01:03:45.960 --> 01:03:47.000
<i>Good person.</i>

01:03:47.520 --> 01:03:48.840
"And I did my…"

01:03:48.920 --> 01:03:50.240
<i>Best too.</i>

01:03:51.640 --> 01:03:53.760
"When I was a kid,

01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:56.280
you bought me toys."

01:03:56.880 --> 01:03:59.680
"Bought me new clothes every festival."

01:04:00.200 --> 01:04:01.800
He cut in, "Those skates cost 23,000."

01:04:05.240 --> 01:04:07.400
I was like, okay, okay. Whatever.

01:04:08.240 --> 01:04:09.960
I said, "That too, Dad."

01:04:10.040 --> 01:04:11.960
Nothing sounded right anymore.

01:04:12.840 --> 01:04:16.280
So I borrowed something
I'd heard earlier at the workshop.

01:04:16.360 --> 01:04:18.680
I said, "The thing is Mom…

01:04:18.760 --> 01:04:19.680
Mom…

01:04:20.520 --> 01:04:23.000
Mom carries you for nine months."

01:04:24.400 --> 01:04:27.040
"You know her before you know the world."

01:04:28.640 --> 01:04:29.520
"But…

01:04:30.520 --> 01:04:33.600
understanding your father takes
a lifetime, Dad."

01:04:34.760 --> 01:04:35.600
"Now that…

01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:38.120
I've grown up,

01:04:38.200 --> 01:04:39.360
lived on my own,

01:04:39.960 --> 01:04:41.640
stood on my own feet…"

01:04:41.720 --> 01:04:42.880
He interrupted, "Are you really?"

01:04:44.640 --> 01:04:47.600
Come on. Seriously?
I can't do this anymore.

01:04:48.200 --> 01:04:52.000
How do you talk to a man
whose tone is always like this?

01:04:52.080 --> 01:04:53.600
How do I communicate with this man?

01:04:54.400 --> 01:04:55.960
I said, "As much as I have."

01:04:56.040 --> 01:04:57.240
He said, "Okay, okay."

01:05:00.200 --> 01:05:01.760
I continued, "Now I finally understand

01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:06.200
how hard you struggled
and faced so many hardships to raise us."

01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:16.360
He nodded. "That's true."

01:05:19.240 --> 01:05:21.520
You know, while bearing life's heat,

01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:23.520
running after responsibilities,

01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:26.080
our fathers become so dry from the inside

01:05:26.160 --> 01:05:29.240
that even a few drops of fake love are
enough to melt them.

01:05:30.880 --> 01:05:31.960
He says to me…

01:05:35.560 --> 01:05:36.680
He says to me,

01:05:37.360 --> 01:05:39.240
"Everyone in the family used to say

01:05:39.320 --> 01:05:41.720
you've spoiled your kids."

01:05:44.200 --> 01:05:46.720
"But I always said I wanted…"

01:05:47.680 --> 01:05:48.880
And it is true in our case.

01:05:50.840 --> 01:05:54.520
"It was my dream
to be friends with my children."

01:05:58.600 --> 01:06:00.000
"I wanted them to be open with me."

01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:07.240
Huh?

01:06:09.200 --> 01:06:11.480
"People said to me Zakir talks back
so much at home."

01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:14.480
"I said, 'If he can't talk back at home,
how will he ever face the world?'"

01:06:19.280 --> 01:06:21.560
The truth is my dad wasn't lying.

01:06:23.040 --> 01:06:26.440
He came from a generation where he never
even looked his own father in the eye.

01:06:27.160 --> 01:06:29.600
It was always, "Yes, Abba. No, Abba."
Nothing more.

01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:32.600
You can't compare your father
to someone else's.

01:06:32.680 --> 01:06:34.280
Not everyone starts from the same place.

01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:37.840
The only real truth is context.
Everything else is a false narrative.

01:06:38.640 --> 01:06:41.280
Your orthodox father has been
the rebel of his generation.

01:06:48.920 --> 01:06:50.720
The life of a mother
and a father is different.

01:06:51.360 --> 01:06:53.080
The way they raise you, take care of you.

01:06:53.640 --> 01:06:54.840
A mother's purpose is simple,

01:06:54.920 --> 01:06:57.240
as long as she's alive
nothing will touch you.

01:06:58.200 --> 01:07:01.200
Under her care, you're safe.
Even God cannot touch you.

01:07:02.440 --> 01:07:04.280
A father lives for the exact opposite.

01:07:05.040 --> 01:07:08.280
Every single day of a father's life is
about preparing you

01:07:08.360 --> 01:07:11.560
to not depend on anyone else
when he is gone.

01:07:19.480 --> 01:07:21.280
That's why living with fathers

01:07:22.520 --> 01:07:24.200
can feel so boring.

01:07:26.440 --> 01:07:30.120
Because when he's alive, he'll tell you
about meter gauge and broad gauge.

01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:32.480
He'll tell about steam engines
and coal engines.

01:07:32.560 --> 01:07:35.040
And also tell you all the lessons
life never taught them.

01:07:37.200 --> 01:07:38.040
Small things.

01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:40.040
A father will give you
every strength he has

01:07:40.120 --> 01:07:41.680
and spend his whole life making sure

01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:43.760
none of his weaknesses are
passed on to you.

01:07:43.840 --> 01:07:47.080
How many of you have fathers
who studied in Hindi-medium schools?

01:07:47.160 --> 01:07:48.320
Right?

01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:52.760
He couldn't afford it, but he still
sent you to an English-medium school.

01:07:53.520 --> 01:07:56.680
Why? Because he thought,
maybe I couldn't speak, but my child will.

01:07:57.840 --> 01:07:59.960
What are you as a human being?

01:08:00.040 --> 01:08:01.120
You're just

01:08:02.440 --> 01:08:05.600
an advanced version
of all your father's regrets.

01:08:05.680 --> 01:08:06.800
Right?

01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:11.680
The finished version.

01:08:13.320 --> 01:08:14.600
A small detail.

01:08:14.680 --> 01:08:16.880
My dad is shy about speaking in a crowd.

01:08:17.600 --> 01:08:20.200
Public speaking is not his forte
and it makes him uncomfortable.

01:08:20.280 --> 01:08:21.399
Okay?

01:08:22.240 --> 01:08:23.720
And yet everything I am today

01:08:23.800 --> 01:08:26.080
is because my dad regrets
not having that confidence.

01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:29.880
So when I was six,
he made me learn languages.

01:08:29.960 --> 01:08:31.840
Made me speak up in front of people.

01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:33.080
Sent me to debates.

01:08:33.160 --> 01:08:37.040
Anything that involved getting on a stage.
Anchoring. Hosting. "No, Zakir can do it."

01:08:37.120 --> 01:08:39.560
"Go. You should do it. Learn. Speak."

01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:42.760
The man who was shy
of speaking in a crowd,

01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:44.560
raised a son

01:08:44.640 --> 01:08:47.040
who, when he speaks,
can cause a jam in Times Square.

01:08:59.160 --> 01:09:01.359
How can I say I did this, it was all me?

01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:05.960
It is not my achievement. It's his.

01:09:06.040 --> 01:09:07.279
He made it possible.

01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:09.399
People love to say, "I'm self-made."

01:09:09.479 --> 01:09:10.840
Self-made? Really?

01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:12.800
Who paid for your education?

01:09:12.880 --> 01:09:13.880
Who paid your school fees?

01:09:13.960 --> 01:09:16.080
Who paid for your graduation?
How did you complete college?

01:09:16.160 --> 01:09:17.520
What guides your moral compass?

01:09:17.600 --> 01:09:18.720
What guides your judgment?

01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:20.240
It all comes from your upbringing.

01:09:20.920 --> 01:09:21.840
No one is self-made.

01:09:21.920 --> 01:09:24.000
Your parents put in a lot of effort
in your upbringing.

01:09:27.680 --> 01:09:30.080
They put everything they had.
Their money, their courage, their wisdom.

01:09:30.160 --> 01:09:31.560
They spent everything on you.

01:09:31.640 --> 01:09:33.520
And if they still fell short, it's okay.

01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:35.840
Your parents did a lot for you.

01:09:35.920 --> 01:09:39.399
These days it's fashionable
to blame parents for everything.

01:09:39.479 --> 01:09:41.560
They didn't do this. They didn't do that.

01:09:42.279 --> 01:09:44.560
I actually think distance helps.

01:09:45.160 --> 01:09:47.920
When you step back,
you start seeing them as people.

01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.760
You realize they can make mistakes too.

01:09:50.840 --> 01:09:52.439
They can be wrong too.

01:09:52.520 --> 01:09:54.520
But you don't need to keep punishing them.

01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:57.200
You can forgive them.
You can let these things go.

01:09:57.279 --> 01:09:59.520
Sometimes setting your parents free
sets you free.

01:10:07.040 --> 01:10:08.920
That day, for the first time,
my father hugged me.

01:10:09.000 --> 01:10:10.640
For the first time he said,

01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:12.800
"It felt so good talking to you, Zakir."

01:10:14.080 --> 01:10:15.160
"Come here."

01:10:16.920 --> 01:10:18.480
If you can hug your father,

01:10:18.560 --> 01:10:20.840
you're more fortunate than most people.

01:10:20.920 --> 01:10:24.160
You are privileged to have
such a relationship with your father.

01:10:24.240 --> 01:10:27.960
So many children long to see love
in their father's eyes.

01:10:28.520 --> 01:10:32.520
Fathers spend so long out
in the world's heat, they dry out inside.

01:10:32.600 --> 01:10:34.800
They become so dry,
they forget they can still be gentle.

01:10:36.200 --> 01:10:37.520
When I hugged my father
for the first time,

01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:40.120
I realized he smelled like me.

01:10:41.280 --> 01:10:43.480
I'd never noticed.

01:10:43.560 --> 01:10:46.080
My mother's scent was part
of my memory, my father's wasn't.

01:10:46.680 --> 01:10:48.720
I could hear his heartbeat.
He put his hand on my head

01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.640
and said, "Whatever you do,
I'm always with you."

01:10:51.840 --> 01:10:53.440
The first time you hug someone you love,

01:10:53.520 --> 01:10:55.120
you just want to disappear into them.

01:10:57.560 --> 01:10:59.120
Then I thought
how long can I hug this stranger?

01:11:07.720 --> 01:11:09.400
So I said, "Dad, want to come to a party?"

01:11:12.040 --> 01:11:13.600
He said, "I don't have any clothes."

01:11:14.960 --> 01:11:18.160
I gave him my jeans, my hoodie, my shoes.
He looked like a giant kid.

01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:24.520
We got in the car. Then he said,
"I didn't tell your mom I'm in Delhi."

01:11:25.480 --> 01:11:27.600
I said, "Dad, that's a disaster."

01:11:28.400 --> 01:11:31.040
We called Mom.
And she absolutely tore into him.

01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:34.200
Have you ever watched
your villain getting thrashed? I have.

01:11:36.480 --> 01:11:38.720
He said, "Put me on the 10 p.m. train."

01:11:39.320 --> 01:11:43.280
I said, "Dad, if you take the night train,
you will get home tomorrow afternoon."

01:11:43.360 --> 01:11:46.040
"Just take the morning flight.
You'll be home by 9:00."

01:11:46.120 --> 01:11:48.200
He said, "Son, you're not married yet.
You wouldn't understand."

01:11:48.960 --> 01:11:51.200
"It's not about getting home.
It's about leaving."

01:12:02.320 --> 01:12:05.560
I said, "Let's try for a <i>Tatkal</i> ticket,
otherwise take the morning flight.

01:12:05.640 --> 01:12:07.040
He said, "Who's going
to talk to your mom?"

01:12:07.120 --> 01:12:08.440
I said, "Who will talk to her?"

01:12:08.520 --> 01:12:10.040
He said, "I think it's going to be you."

01:12:12.960 --> 01:12:16.080
I said, "I'll handle it. Don't worry."

01:12:16.160 --> 01:12:18.040
We got in the car and headed to the party.

01:12:18.120 --> 01:12:19.280
He asked, "You'll get me a ticket, right?"

01:12:19.360 --> 01:12:20.760
I said, "We'll check for a <i>Tatkal</i> ticket."

01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:23.880
"If we get one, leave tonight.
Otherwise, stay over and fly tomorrow."

01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:26.360
He said, "Can I tell you something?"

01:12:26.440 --> 01:12:28.120
I said, "Yeah, sure."

01:12:29.600 --> 01:12:31.840
He said, "It's been 28 years
since your mom came into my life."

01:12:32.560 --> 01:12:34.680
"Our relatives think I'm busy
with work and your mom."

01:12:35.320 --> 01:12:37.880
"People at work think
I'm always busy with family and friends."

01:12:38.440 --> 01:12:40.400
"It's been 28 years.
I've never had any free time."

01:12:41.160 --> 01:12:42.520
"No one's satisfied with me."

01:12:43.680 --> 01:12:44.920
"So where exactly was I?"

01:12:46.520 --> 01:12:48.280
I thought, I made a mistake
opening up to him.

01:12:49.560 --> 01:12:51.760
He sounds like a depressed man.

01:12:54.680 --> 01:12:57.440
We pulled up. As we climbed the stairs,
he turned around and said,

01:12:57.520 --> 01:12:59.600
"I've decided.
I'm taking the morning flight."

01:13:00.680 --> 01:13:01.680
I said, "Why?"

01:13:01.760 --> 01:13:03.640
"I've been friends
with your mom for 28 years."

01:13:03.720 --> 01:13:05.360
"But this friendship is brand new."

01:13:11.480 --> 01:13:13.280
We walked in.

01:13:13.360 --> 01:13:14.960
Kuntal knew Dad was coming.

01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:16.600
My girlfriend knew Dad was coming.

01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:18.880
The only person who had no idea
was Vishwas Sharma.

01:13:20.440 --> 01:13:22.680
We rang the bell.
He was hosting the party.

01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:26.480
He was sitting there
with his girlfriend's parents.

01:13:26.560 --> 01:13:28.240
The doorbell rang. He opened it.

01:13:28.320 --> 01:13:30.360
Saw my dad
and he nearly pooped in his pants.

01:13:32.360 --> 01:13:34.360
Poor guy had no clue Dad was showing up.

01:13:34.440 --> 01:13:36.400
He couldn't decide
whether to say hello, fold his hands,

01:13:36.480 --> 01:13:39.520
touch his feet, or hug him.
So, he did all four and went, "Uncle!"

01:13:40.760 --> 01:13:42.240
Dad was so relaxed by then,

01:13:42.320 --> 01:13:44.320
he blessed him and said,
"Has he lost his mind?"

01:13:46.120 --> 01:13:47.840
Then Kuntal rushed over
and immediately touched Dad's feet,

01:13:47.920 --> 01:13:49.520
and said, "Uncle, my respects."

01:13:49.600 --> 01:13:51.840
Dad goes, "What are you doing here?
Don't you work in Bangalore?"

01:13:51.920 --> 01:13:53.320
"No, Uncle.
I was in Delhi for just one day."

01:13:53.400 --> 01:13:55.360
"When I heard you were here,
I had to come see you."

01:13:55.440 --> 01:13:56.760
Dad goes, "Oh, I see."

01:13:56.840 --> 01:13:58.200
"I met your dad the other day."

01:13:58.280 --> 01:14:01.160
"He told me something about you two
that cracked me up."

01:14:01.240 --> 01:14:02.280
I asked, "What did he say?"

01:14:02.360 --> 01:14:05.320
Dad said, "His father said these two are
the reason for each other's downfall."

01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:13.160
Right then Mom called.

01:14:13.240 --> 01:14:16.320
I answered. She goes, "Hello?
Did you put your father on the train?"

01:14:16.400 --> 01:14:18.080
I said, "Hang on. Talk to Dad."

01:14:18.680 --> 01:14:20.400
Dad looked at me and goes…

01:14:20.480 --> 01:14:21.920
I said, "No." He said,
"You promised you'd cover for me."

01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:23.360
I said, "You're not worth it.
Here, talk to her."

01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:25.680
He took the phone, "Hello, hello."

01:14:25.760 --> 01:14:29.360
"No, no, I was on my way to the station."

01:14:31.920 --> 01:14:33.800
"But a bridge collapsed."

01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:37.280
"And a bus fell into a gorge."

01:14:39.120 --> 01:14:41.000
That's it from my side.
Thank you very much.

01:14:42.280 --> 01:14:43.920
You've been a great audience.

01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:45.040
Good night.

01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:23.160
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:26.040
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

01:15:26.120 --> 01:15:28.920
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:31.280
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

01:15:34.080 --> 01:15:35.640
This show is very close to my heart.

01:15:35.720 --> 01:15:37.960
If it touched yours too,
I'd love to hear from you.

01:15:39.440 --> 01:15:41.960
To everyone who came here
with their fathers or their parents,

01:15:42.040 --> 01:15:43.520
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

01:15:43.600 --> 01:15:48.560
You chose to spend that precious time
reserved for your parents, with me.

01:15:48.640 --> 01:15:50.760
I'll always be grateful.

01:15:50.840 --> 01:15:54.600
If your parents are at home,
go home and hug them.

01:15:54.680 --> 01:15:57.320
If they live in another city, tell them,

01:15:57.400 --> 01:15:59.160
"Thank you."

01:15:59.240 --> 01:16:02.080
If they ask why, tell them
their other son asked you to.

01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:08.640
And if life has been cruel
and you've already lost a parent,

01:16:08.720 --> 01:16:11.520
remember this, once you lose a parent,
you gain a God.

01:16:11.600 --> 01:16:13.600
So, whatever you do with your life,

01:16:13.680 --> 01:16:16.520
remember, they're still watching over you.

01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:19.000
Make sure every step you take,
you make them proud.

01:16:19.080 --> 01:16:20.400
Before we close this show,

01:16:20.480 --> 01:16:22.000
I'd like to introduce

01:16:22.840 --> 01:16:24.840
the man whose dreams I'm living,

01:16:25.440 --> 01:16:29.560
the man whose hard work made
this moment possible.

01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:31.880
With a huge round of applause…

01:16:35.080 --> 01:16:36.200
please welcome

01:16:37.600 --> 01:16:38.600
Khan Sahab.

01:17:36.440 --> 01:17:37.560
Hello.

01:17:38.080 --> 01:17:43.040
Thank you for the love and blessings
you've given my son and my family,

01:17:43.120 --> 01:17:47.160
my family and I are deeply grateful.

01:17:47.240 --> 01:17:49.680
Thank you. Thank you so much.