WEBVTT 00:35.432 --> 00:37.100 This is Willowbrook, 00:37.101 --> 00:39.394 the littlest town with the biggest heart 00:39.395 --> 00:41.479 right here in the center of Kansas. 00:41.480 --> 00:43.606 You know, I know everybody in this town, 00:43.607 --> 00:45.275 and I know all their stories. 00:45.276 --> 00:47.610 But no story is crazier 00:47.611 --> 00:52.240 than the story of Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. 01:52.384 --> 01:53.468 Hey, Ollie. 01:53.469 --> 01:54.886 And that's Gail right there. 01:54.887 --> 01:57.306 She's a shining light around these parts. 01:57.932 --> 02:00.350 You know, I don't like playing favorites with people in the town 02:00.351 --> 02:01.809 but fuck it, I don't give a shit. 02:01.810 --> 02:02.894 Gail's my favorite. 02:02.895 --> 02:04.145 And in just a couple of weeks, 02:04.146 --> 02:06.940 we're all gonna be gathering to go to her wedding to Tom, 02:06.941 --> 02:08.358 her high school sweetheart. 02:08.359 --> 02:10.110 - Hi, Frank. - Morning! 02:11.028 --> 02:13.905 - And as for me, well, my name is Frank. -Hey, Frank! 02:13.906 --> 02:16.866 If you haven't figured it out from context, what I do for a living, 02:16.867 --> 02:19.036 maybe this big bag of mail will help clue you in. 02:19.662 --> 02:21.079 Still stumped? 02:21.080 --> 02:23.623 Well, let me give you another little hint. 02:23.624 --> 02:24.875 I'm a mailman. 02:25.751 --> 02:28.211 Think you got it now? But enough about me. 02:28.212 --> 02:30.046 This story's really about Gail. 02:30.047 --> 02:32.465 There's a tornado brewing on the horizon, 02:32.466 --> 02:34.842 and it all starts with an innocent conversation 02:34.843 --> 02:36.511 at the hair salon where she works 02:36.512 --> 02:38.221 - with her best friend, Otto. -Hi. 02:38.222 --> 02:40.181 - Good morning! - Hello! Hi, honey! 02:40.182 --> 02:42.266 Hi, Ronald! Sorry I'm late! 02:42.267 --> 02:44.185 Gail, sweetie, we're just talking about 02:44.186 --> 02:46.479 the celebrity free pass. Who's yours? 02:46.480 --> 02:47.689 - Celebrity free pass? - Yeah. 02:47.690 --> 02:48.815 - What's that? - Oh, you know, 02:48.816 --> 02:51.859 it's like, uh, each member of a couple gets one celebrity that, 02:51.860 --> 02:53.945 given the chance, they could have sex with. 02:53.946 --> 02:54.862 Ah! 02:54.863 --> 02:56.406 Right? And the other one gives them a free pass to do so. 02:56.407 --> 02:57.949 Mine is Liam Neeson. 02:57.950 --> 03:00.201 - Oh. - Because I suspect in the bedroom, 03:00.202 --> 03:02.370 he has a particular set of skills. 03:02.371 --> 03:04.789 Oh, you're bad! 03:04.790 --> 03:07.500 Tom is obviously my celebrity pass. 03:07.501 --> 03:10.503 After all, he was the starting quarterback on the Wildcats. 03:10.504 --> 03:13.715 Okay, but if you had to pick someone who was not your boyfriend? 03:13.716 --> 03:16.092 - He's my fiancé, Otto. - Oh. 03:16.093 --> 03:19.262 I finally got him to buy the cow after giving him all my milk for free. 03:19.263 --> 03:21.472 - Take that, Mom! - Honey, don't I know it? 03:21.473 --> 03:23.558 I mean, I am gonna be standing right by your side, 03:23.559 --> 03:27.228 absolutely sobbing like I'm watching Schindler's List for the 12th time. 03:27.229 --> 03:28.855 I thought you only watched it 11 times. 03:28.856 --> 03:30.106 I watched it again last night. 03:30.107 --> 03:32.316 Anyway, I gotta get myself a fancy suit for the big day 03:32.317 --> 03:34.402 when I'm in LA this weekend. 03:34.403 --> 03:35.319 - That's right! - Mm-hmm. 03:35.320 --> 03:38.031 You're going to the West Coast Hairstyling Expo. 03:38.032 --> 03:39.198 I'm really jealous of you. 03:39.199 --> 03:41.451 Oh, well, get ready to be mucho jealous. 03:41.452 --> 03:44.412 "Mucho jealous"? Look at you. 03:44.413 --> 03:46.831 - Sprinkling a little Spanish in there? - Mm. 03:46.832 --> 03:49.083 Who knew that you were bilingual? 03:49.084 --> 03:50.668 Uh, honey, I'm bi-everything. 03:50.669 --> 03:51.753 Biweekly? 03:51.754 --> 03:53.212 - Okay, you got me. - Got you. 03:53.213 --> 03:56.466 Anyway, my point is, guess who's gonna be at the expo? 03:56.467 --> 03:58.384 - Who? - Hairstyling guru... 03:58.385 --> 03:59.720 Wait for it. 04:00.637 --> 04:02.263 Remy Fontaine. 04:02.264 --> 04:03.806 Remy Fontaine is gonna be there? 04:03.807 --> 04:05.433 - That's right! - Remy Fontaine! 04:05.434 --> 04:07.810 King of the whip curl Remy Fontaine? 04:07.811 --> 04:09.604 His Royal Highness himself. 04:09.605 --> 04:12.815 - I'm even more jealous. - Mm-hmm. 04:12.816 --> 04:15.610 I've never been to California. I've never even been out of the state. 04:15.611 --> 04:17.904 Honey, why don't you come with me? 04:17.905 --> 04:19.238 Quick three-day trip. 04:19.239 --> 04:21.991 We'll hobnob with all the Hollywood stars 04:21.992 --> 04:23.618 at the Universal CityWalk. 04:23.619 --> 04:25.620 Ugh. I can't, there's so much going on here. 04:25.621 --> 04:28.456 I'm forcing Tom to drive me into the city to go to a book signing later 04:28.457 --> 04:30.875 and the wedding's in two weeks, so... 04:30.876 --> 04:32.335 Los Angeles sounds amazing. 04:32.336 --> 04:33.836 Doesn't it, Ronald? 04:33.837 --> 04:35.546 Los Angeles? Ugh. 04:35.547 --> 04:38.091 - Too many people there. -Yeah, that's what Ronald said. 04:38.092 --> 04:39.801 And as for the free pass thing, 04:39.802 --> 04:41.928 the only celebrity I've ever had a crush on 04:41.929 --> 04:44.013 is a certain Wildcats head cheerleader. 04:44.014 --> 04:45.098 Oh, that's sweet. 04:45.099 --> 04:48.434 You've always been the bagel under and on top of my cream cheese. 04:48.435 --> 04:50.770 Aw. But if you did have to pick a celebrity... 04:50.771 --> 04:52.647 Tilda Swinton. She'd be my pass. 04:52.648 --> 04:53.689 Oh. 04:53.690 --> 04:55.149 - What about you? - I don't know. 04:55.150 --> 04:56.818 Honestly, I never thought about it. 04:56.819 --> 04:58.361 Well, what about Jon Hamm? 04:58.362 --> 04:59.487 Didn't you think about him 04:59.488 --> 05:01.572 when you used to use the handheld shower head? 05:01.573 --> 05:03.407 When I was like 16... 05:03.408 --> 05:04.617 through 19. 05:04.618 --> 05:07.203 Now I really regret telling you that. 05:07.204 --> 05:08.538 We're never getting stoned again. 05:08.539 --> 05:10.582 Oof. Fine by me. It's too expensive. 05:11.125 --> 05:12.291 Anyway, that's perfect. 05:12.292 --> 05:13.960 Jon Hamm's your celebrity pass. 05:13.961 --> 05:15.795 Okay. Can we move on now? 05:15.796 --> 05:18.215 - Anything for my bagel. - Thank you, my cream cheese! 05:18.924 --> 05:21.342 "Chop one medium-sized onion. 05:21.343 --> 05:22.468 "Fine. 05:22.469 --> 05:24.054 "Chop one stalk of celery. 05:24.638 --> 05:27.431 "Fine. Chop two cloves of garlic. 05:27.432 --> 05:29.267 "Add one pound of ground beef..." 05:29.268 --> 05:30.893 She's incredible. 05:30.894 --> 05:33.938 No, you're not wrong. Color me impressed. 05:33.939 --> 05:36.440 "Salt and pepper to taste. 05:36.441 --> 05:40.529 "Enjoy with one to two glasses of tap water." 05:41.280 --> 05:43.156 Wow. 05:43.157 --> 05:46.242 - Aw, thank you. - Whoo-hoo! 05:46.243 --> 05:47.577 Yeah. Just... 05:47.578 --> 05:49.162 - Thank you so much. -Hi. 05:49.163 --> 05:51.831 Thank you so much for coming. 05:51.832 --> 05:53.124 Appreciate it so much. 05:53.125 --> 05:55.585 Oh, hi. I'm Gail. I'm such a big fan of yours. 05:55.586 --> 05:57.837 And not just of the cookbook. I've seen your acting on TV, 05:57.838 --> 05:58.963 - and the movies... - Thank you. 05:58.964 --> 06:01.174 - ...even before The Morning Show. - That's so sweet. 06:01.175 --> 06:03.926 Sorry, where are my manners? This is my fiancé, Tom. 06:03.927 --> 06:05.386 I've never seen any of your stuff. 06:05.387 --> 06:06.929 We're getting married on the 27th. 06:06.930 --> 06:09.724 Oh, you're so cute. I'm gonna do something special for you. 06:09.725 --> 06:11.976 - You are? - Yes. Yes, I am. 06:14.062 --> 06:15.689 Oh, I won't cheat. 06:17.107 --> 06:18.233 Mm-hmm. 06:18.901 --> 06:19.902 Yep. 06:20.360 --> 06:21.694 She smells so good. 06:21.695 --> 06:22.696 Okay. 06:25.324 --> 06:27.366 - Enjoy that. - Thank you so much. 06:27.367 --> 06:28.577 You're so welcome. 06:29.411 --> 06:30.953 Oh, my gosh! 06:30.954 --> 06:33.956 She's even nicer in person than she is in the cookbook. 06:33.957 --> 06:37.168 I have to admit, I never felt one way or the other about her. 06:37.169 --> 06:39.086 But you were right. She's fantastic. 06:39.087 --> 06:40.963 - She's got a new fan. - Yeah? 06:40.964 --> 06:43.507 Oh, you gonna change your celebrity pass to Jennifer Aniston? 06:43.508 --> 06:44.508 You know what? 06:44.509 --> 06:46.052 Yeah, sure. Why not? 06:46.053 --> 06:47.470 Okay, Jennifer Aniston, it is. 06:47.471 --> 06:50.181 But that means if you meet Tilda Swinton somewhere, 06:50.182 --> 06:52.516 you have to keep your hands to yourself. 06:52.517 --> 06:54.644 Got it. If Tilda Swinton knocks on the door 06:54.645 --> 06:57.146 and wants to hop in the sack, I'm gonna tell her, "Not today, Tilda." 06:57.147 --> 06:58.357 Not today! 06:59.441 --> 07:01.609 - Do you remember where we parked the car? - Yeah, it's that way. 07:01.610 --> 07:03.486 Your fiancé remembers everything. 07:03.487 --> 07:05.155 - Ah! Except my keys. - Oh. 07:05.656 --> 07:07.698 Which are in my jacket, which I left inside. 07:07.699 --> 07:08.950 - Okay. - I'm sorry. 07:08.951 --> 07:10.619 - That's fine! Okay. - Give me two minutes. 07:12.996 --> 07:15.581 Okay. Scrambled eggs, butter toast, pancakes. 07:15.582 --> 07:17.416 Just add water. That sounds so good. 07:17.417 --> 07:18.918 Instant oatmeal with honey. 07:18.919 --> 07:21.587 Bagel with cream cheese. "Bagel with cream cheese." 07:21.588 --> 07:22.672 Where is he? 07:22.673 --> 07:24.508 Sir! Sir? 07:24.633 --> 07:26.092 Hi. Excuse me, sir. 07:26.093 --> 07:28.345 My fiancé came back here over an hour ago. 07:29.054 --> 07:32.015 Tom? Hello? 07:32.140 --> 07:33.475 - Try here. - Thank you so much. 07:34.226 --> 07:35.393 Hello? 07:35.394 --> 07:36.519 Oh, yeah. Yeah, right there. 07:36.520 --> 07:38.646 So, what do you think? We start with season one, or... 07:38.647 --> 07:40.731 Yeah, sure. I'll have my assistant get you the DVDs. 07:40.732 --> 07:41.775 Tom? 07:42.651 --> 07:45.404 Gail! I was just about to text you. 07:46.488 --> 07:48.740 I thought you were looking for your coat. But you're... 07:49.366 --> 07:50.449 You're... 07:50.450 --> 07:53.119 Gail, this was my one free pass. Remember earlier? 07:53.120 --> 07:54.454 You took it literally? 07:55.580 --> 07:57.540 Hold on. I'm getting a little worried here. 07:57.541 --> 07:59.042 Just a second. Uh, you know, um... 07:59.626 --> 08:01.252 Tom said that you were okay with this. 08:01.253 --> 08:03.963 I mean, otherwise, I would have never done it, you know? 08:03.964 --> 08:05.549 I mean, I respect your commitment way too much. 08:06.049 --> 08:07.591 Tom, you said she was okay with this. 08:07.592 --> 08:09.093 Yes, we talked about this before. 08:09.094 --> 08:10.636 So, what's happening? I don't understand. 08:10.637 --> 08:12.722 Gail, please tell Jennifer Aniston about the free pass. 08:12.723 --> 08:14.390 - Please call me Jen. - This is not happening. 08:14.391 --> 08:16.851 I just came in to get my jacket and I couldn't find it. 08:16.852 --> 08:18.602 Yeah. And then I saw him really distraught, 08:18.603 --> 08:20.271 so I thought, "Okay, let me help him." 08:20.272 --> 08:22.064 And then I thought, "This is a really special guy." 08:22.065 --> 08:23.566 - Aw. - And, well, you would know. 08:23.567 --> 08:25.067 I mean, you're marrying him. 08:25.068 --> 08:27.278 And then he told me about the celebrity pass, 08:27.279 --> 08:29.030 and I thought, "Well, what the hell?" 08:29.031 --> 08:30.865 We're right here. Why not? 08:30.866 --> 08:33.034 Be a great story for you guys to tell at your wedding. 08:33.035 --> 08:34.702 Fun half hour for me. 08:34.703 --> 08:37.872 But you know what? I'm a very instinctual person, 08:37.873 --> 08:41.626 and I'm kind of really getting the idea that you're super not into this. 08:46.006 --> 08:47.715 I am so glad you changed your mind. 08:47.716 --> 08:50.676 I thought it was like a silly little exercise. 08:50.677 --> 08:54.513 Not literal license to have sex with Rachel from Friends. 08:54.514 --> 08:55.890 Forget about him, Gail. 08:55.891 --> 08:58.059 We're gonna have so much fun in LA this weekend. 08:58.060 --> 08:59.143 Yeah. 08:59.144 --> 09:01.562 -What's in here? - Those are all just hairbrushes. 09:01.563 --> 09:04.190 I'm a... I'm a hairstylist. 09:05.650 --> 09:07.151 Don't worry. I'm... I'm cool. 09:07.152 --> 09:08.987 I have a steel plate in my head, 09:09.571 --> 09:12.865 and I have the paperwork from my doctor right here. 09:12.866 --> 09:14.950 Yeah, I had an accident with a piñata. 09:14.951 --> 09:17.328 You think I look bad? You should see the piñata. 09:17.329 --> 09:20.206 All right, Universal CityWalk. Bubba Gump Shrimp. Whoo! 09:36.348 --> 09:38.724 Welcome to Los Angeles. 09:38.725 --> 09:41.852 For your safety, please be aware of mudslides... 09:41.853 --> 09:43.354 Hi. My name is Gail. 09:43.355 --> 09:45.022 ...and earthquakes. 09:45.023 --> 09:47.108 Uh, listen, there's no flowery way to say this. 09:47.109 --> 09:50.069 I have to take a mondo shit, so I'll be back in a sec. 09:50.070 --> 09:51.737 Mm. 09:57.494 --> 10:00.037 Come on, there's no chance that's him. 10:00.038 --> 10:01.372 - Oh, my God. - It is him. 10:02.332 --> 10:03.499 Oh, my God. 10:03.500 --> 10:05.376 Mr. Henry Winkler. We are huge fans. 10:05.377 --> 10:07.378 - Thank you so much. - Oh, my... Otto! 10:07.379 --> 10:08.838 Mr. Winkler, hey, look, look, look. 10:08.839 --> 10:11.173 - I have a tattoo of your face! -Looks just like me. 10:11.174 --> 10:13.634 Yeah, I got this when I was stupid drunk in Key West. 10:13.635 --> 10:14.593 No regrets, Mr. Winkler. 10:14.594 --> 10:15.636 - No regrets. - Otto! 10:15.637 --> 10:17.555 -Can we get a photo? - It would be my pleasure. 10:17.556 --> 10:18.889 - Really? - Come on, come on. 10:18.890 --> 10:20.433 Yeah? Let's do it quickly. 10:20.434 --> 10:21.517 I got a plane to catch. 10:21.518 --> 10:23.060 Do you want me to take the picture? 10:23.061 --> 10:25.104 Oh, yeah. Just step over here. 10:25.105 --> 10:27.148 Lighting is everything. Here we go. 10:27.149 --> 10:29.316 Happy Days. Night Shift. Arrested Development. 10:29.317 --> 10:31.318 - Barry. - Hey, those are my credits. 10:31.319 --> 10:32.778 Henry frickin' Winkler! 10:32.779 --> 10:34.029 I have a plane. 10:34.030 --> 10:35.239 - Thank you, thank you. - Okay. 10:35.240 --> 10:36.365 - Thank you, young lady. - Thank you so much. 10:36.366 --> 10:37.451 -I'm a big fan. - Thank you. 10:37.951 --> 10:39.702 - Hey! - Hey! 10:39.703 --> 10:41.662 Yeah, I used to say that. 10:41.663 --> 10:43.831 Thank you. Take care, guys. 10:43.832 --> 10:45.708 Wow! And they say never meet your heroes. 10:45.709 --> 10:48.210 - What a mensch. - Oh! Unbelievable. 10:48.211 --> 10:50.588 Hey, what are you... Don't put the case down. 10:50.589 --> 10:52.423 We lose this, we're dead men. 10:52.424 --> 10:53.716 Well, sometimes we make exceptions 10:53.717 --> 10:55.050 to even the most important rules... 10:55.051 --> 10:56.636 ...when celebrities are involved. 10:57.596 --> 11:00.014 Sorry. I spaced for a second. Can you repeat that, please? 11:00.015 --> 11:02.433 I said, sometimes we make exceptions 11:02.434 --> 11:05.353 to even the most important rules when celebrities are involved. 11:05.979 --> 11:07.104 Hey. 11:07.105 --> 11:09.190 I just saw my first Hollywood celebrity. 11:09.191 --> 11:11.150 No way. Who? Give me a hint. 11:11.151 --> 11:12.526 - Jewish. - Henry Winkler. 11:12.527 --> 11:13.903 - Yes! - Yes! 11:13.904 --> 11:15.738 Oh, my God! Wow! 11:15.739 --> 11:18.867 Okay. We are definitely in Hollywood now, huh? Wow. 11:20.660 --> 11:22.369 Welcome to LAX... 11:24.915 --> 11:26.124 Get in. 11:30.128 --> 11:32.672 Has the briefcase left your person at any time? 11:33.840 --> 11:36.218 Um... Pardon me. 11:36.760 --> 11:38.135 We don't speak Italian. 11:38.136 --> 11:41.013 Okay, so I ask again. 11:41.014 --> 11:44.517 Has the briefcase left your person at any time? 11:44.518 --> 11:47.937 Sorry, you said, "I ask again," but to be fair, 11:47.938 --> 11:50.272 this is the first time we're hearing the question 11:50.273 --> 11:51.690 in a language we understand. 11:51.691 --> 11:53.359 And, no, I assure you, 11:53.360 --> 11:56.529 I've had the case by my side the entire trip. 11:56.530 --> 11:57.988 Mm. 11:57.989 --> 12:00.075 You know, as a teenager, 12:00.867 --> 12:02.577 I dreamed of only two things. 12:03.119 --> 12:06.997 The first was to rid myself of what was, at that time, 12:06.998 --> 12:09.583 a truly horrible case of acne. 12:09.584 --> 12:10.751 Oh. 12:10.752 --> 12:16.799 The second dream was to dismantle the corrupt global financial system, 12:16.800 --> 12:22.388 leaving in its place a storm of chaos and anarchy. 12:22.389 --> 12:24.515 I mean, go big or go home, right? 12:24.516 --> 12:26.850 Dream number one was realized 12:26.851 --> 12:29.187 by the time I was 19. 12:30.438 --> 12:32.856 - See? See? Look. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 12:32.857 --> 12:33.941 -Beautiful. - All clear. 12:33.942 --> 12:36.068 - Like a porcelain doll. - Like a freshly peeled egg. 12:36.069 --> 12:37.820 But dream number two... 12:37.821 --> 12:40.906 Well, technically, it might be dream number three 12:40.907 --> 12:44.451 because there was a short time when dream number two 12:44.452 --> 12:48.289 was to sing an aria from La Bohème at La Scala. 12:48.290 --> 12:49.456 - Wow. - Oh, holy shmoly. 12:49.457 --> 12:51.293 But that was a lot of, you know... 12:51.960 --> 12:54.670 When push came to shove, I wanted a social life. 12:54.671 --> 12:56.630 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm. Yeah. 12:56.631 --> 12:58.132 So dream... 12:58.133 --> 13:02.970 Let's call it dream number three had remained just that, a dream. 13:02.971 --> 13:04.722 The one about dismantling the financial system. 13:04.723 --> 13:06.474 That's the one. 13:06.600 --> 13:10.019 A lifetime of sacrifice, 13:10.020 --> 13:11.354 pain and sorrow 13:12.147 --> 13:15.233 has led me to what's inside this case. 13:16.026 --> 13:19.278 My dream, number three. 13:19.279 --> 13:20.904 - What a journey. - Amazing. 13:32.167 --> 13:33.542 - That's you. - You want me to... 13:33.543 --> 13:34.918 Yep. 13:34.919 --> 13:36.671 Are you quite sure 13:37.505 --> 13:40.467 you never let go of my case? 13:41.092 --> 13:42.093 Quite sure. 13:43.011 --> 13:44.763 I would bet my life on it. 13:46.014 --> 13:49.308 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 13:49.309 --> 13:51.268 Oh, my Lord! 13:51.269 --> 13:53.020 Sergio, can you explain this? 13:53.021 --> 13:55.606 Thinking... Thinking more carefully... 13:55.607 --> 14:00.861 Yes, there was a moment at the airport where he put down the case. 14:00.862 --> 14:02.237 I was very mad. 14:02.238 --> 14:05.658 But, yes, he put it down. I was very mad at you. Uh... 14:05.659 --> 14:08.787 - "Gail Daughtry, hairdresser." -God. 14:10.163 --> 14:12.164 Find this little bug 14:12.165 --> 14:13.666 and bring my briefcase back to me! 14:13.667 --> 14:15.084 Again, I... 14:15.085 --> 14:16.293 You know what? 14:16.294 --> 14:19.171 I think... I think I get the sentiment. 14:19.172 --> 14:21.131 You want... You want me to find the... 14:21.132 --> 14:23.342 You want me to find the girl and then get... 14:23.343 --> 14:24.885 - Then get the case back? - Now! 14:24.886 --> 14:26.178 Yes! Yes! Yes! 14:32.519 --> 14:34.395 We're not in Kansas anymore. 14:34.396 --> 14:36.188 Yeah. Right? 14:36.189 --> 14:38.065 Welcome to the City of Angels, folks... 14:38.066 --> 14:40.275 - Whoo! - ...where the streets are paved with gold. 14:40.276 --> 14:42.319 Oh, thank you. My name is Gail. 14:42.320 --> 14:43.445 - This is... - No, no. 14:43.446 --> 14:44.863 Names are not necessary. 14:44.864 --> 14:46.824 All I need is a destination. 14:46.825 --> 14:50.160 Yeah. The Sunset Grandeur Hotel. 14:50.161 --> 14:52.663 - 3225... - 3225 Hollywood Boulevard. I know it well. 14:52.664 --> 14:54.748 Hmm. 14:54.749 --> 14:56.500 Now, I'll give you a little piece of advice 14:56.501 --> 14:58.043 I give everyone when they arrive. 14:58.044 --> 15:00.087 A lot of people come into town thinking overnight 15:00.088 --> 15:01.964 they're gonna be the next Elizabeth Perkins. 15:01.965 --> 15:03.549 But let me tell you something. 15:03.550 --> 15:06.969 Liz Perkins did not become Tom Hanks' love interest in Big 15:06.970 --> 15:08.679 - right off the bat. -Hmm. 15:08.680 --> 15:11.432 And you can't do what Liz Perkins does. 15:11.433 --> 15:13.016 You gotta be you! 15:13.017 --> 15:14.184 There's only one Liz Perkins, 15:14.185 --> 15:17.439 and her name happens to be Elizabeth Perkins. 15:18.064 --> 15:19.606 You know what? I'm very tired. 15:19.607 --> 15:22.359 Do you mind if I pull over, take a quick power nap? 15:22.360 --> 15:24.528 Can you not make it? 15:24.529 --> 15:25.946 You know what? I can power through. 15:25.947 --> 15:27.948 I'll power... I can do it. I can power through. 15:27.949 --> 15:29.658 Everyone is such a character 15:29.659 --> 15:30.660 - in this town, huh? - Yeah. 15:31.119 --> 15:34.538 Did you deliver the case? There was a problem. 15:34.539 --> 15:37.125 The boss was not happy, so she, uh... 15:37.709 --> 15:40.377 She killed Marco right in front of my face. 15:40.378 --> 15:43.131 Oh. God. I'm so sorry, Sergio. 15:43.923 --> 15:46.467 I need to find this Gail Daughtry, 15:46.468 --> 15:48.136 or Ludovica's gonna kill me, too. 15:49.012 --> 15:51.431 Yeah, we'll find this "Gail." 15:53.141 --> 15:55.560 And as much as we mourn the loss of Marco... 15:56.227 --> 15:58.020 we'll celebrate the life he led, huh? 15:58.021 --> 15:59.354 Yeah, his life was cut short 15:59.355 --> 16:01.982 but he was lucky to be one of the very few 16:01.983 --> 16:03.818 to count Mr. Henry Winkler as one of his good friends. 16:04.235 --> 16:05.403 - Huh? - Oh! 16:06.154 --> 16:07.279 I buried the lede. 16:07.280 --> 16:09.406 We met Henry friggin' Winkler at LAX! 16:09.407 --> 16:10.699 - No shit? - Yeah. 16:10.700 --> 16:12.409 - Vinnie Barbarino. - One and the same. 16:13.661 --> 16:16.079 Here we go. Gail Daughtry. 16:16.080 --> 16:17.790 Arrived at LAX this morning. 16:17.791 --> 16:19.166 Leaving Sunday. 16:19.167 --> 16:21.418 No hotel reservations. 16:21.419 --> 16:24.254 - We have to find that case. - Let me tell you something. 16:24.255 --> 16:26.465 We are gonna find the case, 16:26.466 --> 16:31.220 and Gail Daughtry is gonna get a bullet in the back of the brain. 16:40.230 --> 16:41.355 Here we are. 16:41.356 --> 16:43.690 Right by the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 16:43.691 --> 16:44.858 Now keep your eyes peeled, 16:44.859 --> 16:47.487 - because Liz Perkins could be anywhere. - Oh. 16:48.655 --> 16:50.948 This place is incredible. 16:50.949 --> 16:52.282 It really is. 16:53.243 --> 16:54.409 There's Remy Fontaine! 16:54.410 --> 16:56.453 Okay, you do know he created the whip curl, right? 16:56.454 --> 16:57.621 Yes. What? Of course. 16:57.622 --> 16:59.998 I'm as much of a Fontaine junkie as you are. 16:59.999 --> 17:01.000 I'm just making sure. 17:01.584 --> 17:03.252 Okay, we have you for two nights. 17:03.253 --> 17:05.087 I can put you in a room on the top floor. 17:05.088 --> 17:07.756 Hey, hey, hey. Top floor. Fancy. 17:07.757 --> 17:09.299 Just tell me that you have an elevator? 17:09.300 --> 17:10.634 Honey, this is Hollywood. 17:10.635 --> 17:13.220 Almost every hotel has an elevator. 17:13.221 --> 17:14.638 - Unbelievable. - Wow. 17:14.639 --> 17:16.473 Now, your room won't be ready for an hour. 17:16.474 --> 17:17.724 We can hold your bags, 17:17.725 --> 17:21.436 and you can take a walk down the one and only Hollywood Boulevard. 17:21.437 --> 17:23.105 Oh, my goodness. 17:23.106 --> 17:25.399 I can't wait. Where do we even start? 17:25.400 --> 17:28.610 Oh! I'll show you my list of must-see destinations. 17:28.611 --> 17:31.530 -Okay. - Here is a killer burger joint. 17:31.531 --> 17:33.657 -Mm! - And the best coffee shop 17:33.658 --> 17:35.409 this side of the Mason-Dixon Line... 17:35.410 --> 17:36.619 right here. 17:36.995 --> 17:40.831 Now, if you wanna do some shopping, cosmetics, stuff for around the house, 17:40.832 --> 17:44.793 head here and ask them to show you all their different gums. 17:44.794 --> 17:48.006 -Ah. - Or if... getting your dick sucked 17:48.590 --> 17:51.425 is more your speed, head here, 17:51.426 --> 17:53.760 go around back behind the dumpster. 17:53.761 --> 17:56.555 Ask for Glenn Stein. He's the best. 17:56.556 --> 17:59.141 Okay! Well, what the heck are we waiting for? 17:59.142 --> 18:00.143 Yeah! 18:08.318 --> 18:09.193 -Mm. - Mm! 18:11.029 --> 18:12.363 Can you show us your gums? 18:12.906 --> 18:14.616 Wow. 18:15.909 --> 18:16.910 -Good luck. - Okay. 18:21.915 --> 18:22.831 Ah! 18:24.000 --> 18:26.084 It's Tom. Should I pick up? 18:26.085 --> 18:27.544 - Ew. Don't. - I'll just say... 18:27.545 --> 18:29.129 No, take your space. There's really nothing to say. 18:29.130 --> 18:30.339 Hey, what do you want? 18:30.340 --> 18:33.008 Hey, we need to tell the caterers by Monday if we're canceling. 18:33.009 --> 18:35.260 Otherwise, we lose our entire deposit. 18:35.261 --> 18:36.762 It's a lot of money, Gail. 18:36.763 --> 18:39.389 Well, maybe you should ask your good friend Jennifer Aniston. 18:39.390 --> 18:41.516 She could afford to cover the cost, I would think. 18:41.517 --> 18:43.435 Yeah. Maybe she can cater it with her pussy, Tom. 18:43.436 --> 18:45.020 - You could just eat that. - Yeah, eat that! 18:45.021 --> 18:46.313 - Okay? Goodbye. - No, don't... 18:46.314 --> 18:47.522 I hung up on him. 18:47.523 --> 18:48.982 Okay. That's my Gail. 18:48.983 --> 18:51.276 Gal. Girl. Good for you, doll. 18:51.277 --> 18:52.611 Yeah, good for me. 18:52.612 --> 18:55.155 Oh. This could be fun. 18:55.156 --> 18:57.616 - Do you wanna get a psychic reading? - Mm... 18:57.617 --> 18:59.076 - Why? - I mean, I'm all for fun, 18:59.077 --> 19:01.286 but it looks a little nasty, doesn't it? 19:01.287 --> 19:03.997 Coming from a guy who just got a blow job, 19:03.998 --> 19:06.124 behind a dumpster in a puddle of I don't know what. 19:06.125 --> 19:08.919 For the record, Glenn said that the puddle was actually filtered water. 19:08.920 --> 19:10.253 - Okay. - But you know, 19:10.254 --> 19:12.798 this psychic stuff, it's all BS, right? 19:12.799 --> 19:14.800 Yeah, if BS stands for "Best Psychic." Come on. 19:14.801 --> 19:16.259 That would actually be "BP." 19:16.260 --> 19:18.553 Okay, Mr. Harvard Law School. 19:18.554 --> 19:20.056 Hey, I wasn't gonna play that card. 19:24.435 --> 19:28.397 - Bingo-bango. There she is. - Yeah, now we just gotta study this photo 19:28.398 --> 19:30.148 for clues as to where it was taken. 19:30.149 --> 19:32.192 Okay, all right, it's outside. 19:32.193 --> 19:33.944 Yeah, it looks like Asia. 19:33.945 --> 19:35.445 -Maybe Japan? - Like the Far East. 19:35.446 --> 19:37.364 Colorful. Spider-Man's there. 19:37.365 --> 19:38.783 - Is that Superman? - Yeah. 19:40.868 --> 19:43.078 Okay, let's be real. This is gonna take a while. 19:43.079 --> 19:44.830 I better put on a pot of coffee. 19:44.831 --> 19:45.914 Hi, I'm Gail... 19:45.915 --> 19:47.958 - It's $20 in advance. - Okay. 19:48.960 --> 19:52.087 Uh, all I have is a ten and two fives. Is that okay? 19:52.088 --> 19:54.589 Yeah. That's a perfectly legitimate way to make $20. 19:54.590 --> 19:56.509 - Okay. - Hmm. 19:58.886 --> 20:02.180 Now, I am looking at you... 20:03.099 --> 20:04.474 ...and I am listening to your spirit. 20:04.475 --> 20:08.437 And I am sensing that something is on your mind. 20:08.438 --> 20:09.521 Am I correct? 20:10.440 --> 20:12.107 Oh, my God. How did you know that? 20:12.108 --> 20:15.485 It is my business to know. Hence the ten and two fives. 20:15.486 --> 20:17.195 But I'd really appreciate it if we could 20:17.196 --> 20:18.530 put the money part of it aside. 20:18.531 --> 20:20.866 Okay, well, I've been trying to forget about this, 20:20.867 --> 20:23.452 but you obviously keyed into something. 20:23.453 --> 20:24.870 I'm engaged to be married, 20:24.871 --> 20:27.247 and I really, really love my fiancé, Tom. 20:27.248 --> 20:30.500 But... something happened, and I don't know what to do. 20:30.501 --> 20:32.211 Let me connect with this. 20:34.756 --> 20:35.590 Hmm. 20:36.924 --> 20:39.260 I am sensing you really do love this Tom. 20:39.844 --> 20:41.720 Mm. And he loves you. 20:41.721 --> 20:43.513 - How'd she figure that out? - Shh. 20:43.514 --> 20:44.598 - Otto! - Sorry. 20:44.599 --> 20:47.602 But... you each had an agreement, yes? 20:48.144 --> 20:50.979 To be able to have sex with a certain celebrity, 20:50.980 --> 20:52.647 given the opportunity. 20:52.648 --> 20:54.066 Yes, exactly! 20:54.067 --> 20:58.528 And Tom went too far with Jennifer Aniston in the back of a bookstore. 20:58.529 --> 21:00.489 Yes. Wow. So what do I do? 21:00.490 --> 21:02.032 You need to even the score. 21:02.033 --> 21:03.575 Level the playing field. 21:03.576 --> 21:06.661 If you are going to continue your relationship with Tom, 21:06.662 --> 21:10.291 you must have sex with your celebrity crush. 21:10.750 --> 21:12.210 Oh. 21:12.335 --> 21:14.753 Well, that's not gonna happen. 21:14.754 --> 21:16.713 You don't think Jon Hamm would find you attractive? 21:16.714 --> 21:17.673 I don't... 21:17.840 --> 21:20.383 Damn! I mean, 20 bucks is a bargain, right? 21:20.384 --> 21:21.802 No, I don't... I don't... I don't know. 21:21.803 --> 21:24.221 It's just that sounds like a pretty strange way to... 21:24.222 --> 21:26.681 No. Even if I wanted to, how would I find him? 21:26.682 --> 21:30.060 You're in Hollywood. Jon Hamm lives in Hollywood. 21:30.061 --> 21:31.311 This sounds crazy. 21:31.312 --> 21:34.731 Well, sometimes the craziest problems require the craziest solutions. 21:34.732 --> 21:37.819 And sometimes, sister, the craziest solutions... 21:38.861 --> 21:40.154 are the most sane. 21:41.447 --> 21:44.366 So, if I wanna repair my relationship with Tom... 21:44.367 --> 21:47.786 You must have sex with Jon Hamm. 21:51.040 --> 21:54.126 I don't know, Otto. Do you really think that we should do this? 21:54.127 --> 21:55.210 Why not? 21:55.211 --> 21:57.129 Remember, Tom gave you a free pass, too. 21:57.130 --> 21:58.131 That's true. 21:58.840 --> 22:00.423 But what about the hair convention? 22:00.424 --> 22:01.967 Oh, honestly, I'm fine. I'm fine. 22:01.968 --> 22:04.928 As long as we get back in time for Remy Fontaine's Blow out Blow out. 22:04.929 --> 22:06.263 I mean, conventions come and go. 22:06.264 --> 22:07.973 How many times do you get to fuck Jon Hamm? 22:07.974 --> 22:09.641 That's a good point. 22:09.642 --> 22:11.184 But where would we even start? 22:11.185 --> 22:14.646 Twenty dollars, you will get a map with the home addresses 22:14.647 --> 22:17.941 - of all the biggest stars in HollyWeird. -Yeah. 22:17.942 --> 22:21.069 The only town in America where if you want a cup of coffee, 22:21.070 --> 22:24.990 you've got to make an appointment at the Creative Artists Agency. 22:24.991 --> 22:27.909 - Hi. Excuse me, sir. I'm Gail. - Hi, Gail. 22:27.910 --> 22:29.953 We would like a map with Jon Hamm's home address. 22:29.954 --> 22:33.039 Are you kidding me, lady? I got stars up the wazoo. 22:33.040 --> 22:35.000 - Perfect. - I got Johnny Carson. 22:35.001 --> 22:37.502 I got Ed McMahon. I got Doc Severinsen. 22:37.503 --> 22:39.212 - You name it. - Okay, how about Jon Hamm? 22:39.213 --> 22:40.505 Ooh. 22:40.506 --> 22:42.632 No. No, I don't have Jon Hamm. 22:42.633 --> 22:45.177 In any other town, I'd say check the phone book. 22:45.178 --> 22:48.138 But in this town, I'd say get yourself an appointment 22:48.139 --> 22:50.182 at the Creative Artists Agency. 22:50.183 --> 22:51.058 Hmm. 22:52.852 --> 22:55.730 C-A-A 22:57.857 --> 22:59.357 Hello, I'm Gail. 22:59.358 --> 23:00.483 - Hi. - Hi. 23:00.484 --> 23:02.777 We're here to see Jon Hamm. Is he here? 23:02.778 --> 23:04.070 Oh. Well, no. 23:04.071 --> 23:07.073 But Jon Hamm's agent is Mr. Leo Martin. 23:07.074 --> 23:08.533 He's actually a good bud of mine. 23:08.534 --> 23:09.535 No, he's not. 23:10.244 --> 23:11.995 You recharged his car once, dipshit. 23:11.996 --> 23:13.997 Ignore him. I can take a message for Leo Martin. 23:13.998 --> 23:15.957 - Who are you guys with? - I'm with my friend Otto. 23:15.958 --> 23:17.834 Aw. And I'm with my friend Gail. 23:17.835 --> 23:19.419 Okay, great. 23:19.420 --> 23:21.839 I should be able to get this to Leo's desk by Monday. 23:22.965 --> 23:25.091 Oh. No, no, no. That's... That's way too late. 23:25.092 --> 23:27.345 - We'll be gone by then. - Sorry. 23:28.262 --> 23:30.013 That's... Thank you. Appreciate it. 23:31.724 --> 23:33.099 Hey, we tried. 23:33.100 --> 23:34.684 - But we were so close. - I know. 23:34.685 --> 23:36.978 What are we supposed to do? I don't wanna see you cry. 23:36.979 --> 23:38.481 Hey, guys. 23:39.065 --> 23:42.651 As an agent-in-training, I'm really good at assessing situations. 23:42.652 --> 23:45.904 And I can tell that you guys really need to see Jon Hamm before Monday. 23:45.905 --> 23:47.906 - Yes. - Yes. Yes, we have to. 23:47.907 --> 23:49.407 We're only here for the weekend. 23:49.408 --> 23:51.701 I had a celebrity free pass thing with my fiancé, 23:51.702 --> 23:52.786 but he took it literally. 23:52.787 --> 23:54.537 So now I need to have sex with Jon Hamm 23:54.538 --> 23:56.414 to even out the score and save my relationship. 23:56.415 --> 23:58.959 Gotcha. He did the deed. Now you gotta do the do. 23:58.960 --> 24:00.126 - Yes. - Exactly. 24:00.127 --> 24:01.462 Can you please help us? 24:01.837 --> 24:03.673 I'll tell you what. You guys, come with me. 24:04.632 --> 24:05.715 Excuse me. 24:05.716 --> 24:07.801 - Let me ask you something. - Can I ask you something? 24:07.802 --> 24:09.636 - Have you seen this person? -Not today. 24:09.637 --> 24:11.429 Have you seen these two people? Have you seen this person? 24:11.430 --> 24:13.098 - Either of these two? - No, I haven't. 24:13.099 --> 24:15.183 - Sorry. No, I didn't see them. - Charles Boyle. 24:15.184 --> 24:17.060 I get that a lot. Haven't seen them? 24:17.061 --> 24:18.645 - Either one? - Nope. I'm positive. 24:18.646 --> 24:20.480 -Oh, yeah, I've seen those two. - You have? 24:20.481 --> 24:21.482 - Yeah. - Where are they? 24:21.941 --> 24:23.066 Hell if I know. 24:23.067 --> 24:24.651 I got a lot of people coming through here all day long. 24:24.652 --> 24:27.279 I can't keep a record of where everybody's heading next, you know? 24:27.280 --> 24:29.948 It's all I can do to keep track of how many maps I got in my pile here. 24:29.949 --> 24:32.826 I mean, how... how many is it? Two? Four? Ten? 24:32.827 --> 24:36.747 I mean, it could even be nine. But that's Hollywood for you. 24:37.623 --> 24:40.083 That's what the, uh, studio bean counters 24:40.084 --> 24:43.211 over at Paramount Pictures call "creative accounting." 24:43.212 --> 24:45.463 Well, this is a waste of time. Why don't we get some coffee? 24:45.464 --> 24:47.799 Coffee? You wanna get coffee in this town, 24:47.800 --> 24:50.719 you're gonna need an appointment at the Creative Artists Agency. 24:50.720 --> 24:52.595 -Okay. - Which, now that I think of it, 24:52.596 --> 24:55.140 is exactly where I told your friends to go. 24:55.141 --> 24:57.184 C-A-A 24:57.601 --> 25:01.021 Feast your eyes. Welcome to the backrooms of the entertainment industry, friends, 25:01.022 --> 25:02.272 where the real decisions are made, 25:02.273 --> 25:04.316 where entire careers are hatched and destroyed 25:04.317 --> 25:06.526 with a control-shift-delete from this room. 25:06.527 --> 25:07.861 - Wow. - Hey, check this out. 25:07.862 --> 25:09.988 Robert from Shark Tank. There's blood in the water. 25:09.989 --> 25:11.823 How the hell are you? When are we gonna play golf, huh? 25:11.824 --> 25:13.992 - Uh, please don't speak to me. - You got it, Bobby Business. 25:13.993 --> 25:15.118 Hey, check this out. 25:15.119 --> 25:17.413 My mommy made them up for me. I think they're pretty cool. 25:17.997 --> 25:19.831 - Gotta dream big in a place like this. - I like that. 25:19.832 --> 25:22.208 And someday, maybe it's not gonna be CAA anymore. 25:22.209 --> 25:26.129 It's gonna be CA and CA: Creative Artists and Caleb Agency. 25:26.130 --> 25:27.964 I love that! But I'm just checking. 25:27.965 --> 25:29.591 It's okay for us to be back here? 25:29.592 --> 25:32.635 Technically, no, but in this business, it's all about exuding confidence. 25:32.636 --> 25:33.970 You just fake it till you make it. Watch this. 25:33.971 --> 25:36.139 Hey, Megan. Whazzup? What are you working on here? 25:36.140 --> 25:37.349 - You got a lot of deals? - No. Stop. 25:37.350 --> 25:38.892 - Don't touch anything on my desk. - Big old deals? 25:38.893 --> 25:40.602 Look, we need the 411 25:40.603 --> 25:42.437 on one Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm. 25:42.438 --> 25:45.899 Oh! Leo Martin! There's my guy. 25:45.900 --> 25:48.651 Fellas, this is Mr. Leo Martin, agent to the stars. 25:48.652 --> 25:51.529 You want guaranteed backend points, you talk to this guy. 25:51.530 --> 25:53.449 Hi. Caleb. I charged your car on the 29th. 25:54.533 --> 25:55.617 Nothing? No? 25:55.618 --> 25:57.786 Well, this beautiful bag of bones is Gail, 25:57.787 --> 25:59.496 and this knucklehead is Otto. 25:59.497 --> 26:04.250 Now, Gail over here needs to do the nasty with Mr. Jon Hamm ASAP. 26:04.251 --> 26:07.003 Believe me, it is all on the up and up, Mr. Martin, sir. 26:07.004 --> 26:10.590 Yeah, don't worry. We're not like crazy-stalker fans or anything like that. 26:13.803 --> 26:15.512 So, what do you say? 26:15.513 --> 26:18.431 I am so, so sorry that we got you fired. 26:18.432 --> 26:19.891 I am literally so stupid. 26:19.892 --> 26:22.644 I'm literally so stupid for thinking that I could be an agent. 26:22.645 --> 26:24.437 I just don't have the mentality for it! 26:24.438 --> 26:27.316 And what am I gonna tell my mommy? 26:27.817 --> 26:29.275 - Um... - Ask him. 26:29.276 --> 26:30.902 Caleb, is there any way 26:30.903 --> 26:33.154 that you could just drop us off at the hotel? 26:33.155 --> 26:35.698 - Yeah. - Thank you. 26:35.699 --> 26:36.866 - Thanks. -I could do that. 26:36.867 --> 26:41.746 Or I could give you a lift straight to Mr. Jon Hamm's house 26:41.747 --> 26:46.042 because I swiped the address from Megan's desk. 26:46.043 --> 26:48.461 Caleb, you beautiful son of a bitch. 26:48.462 --> 26:50.296 -What? - Yeah! 26:50.297 --> 26:51.923 Are you kidding me? 26:52.967 --> 26:54.259 You tired? 26:54.260 --> 26:55.802 Yeah. I'm always tired. 26:55.803 --> 26:57.012 Always tired, yeah. 26:57.930 --> 27:00.808 This is it, Creative Artists Agency. 27:01.434 --> 27:03.184 I thought it would be a little, uh... 27:03.185 --> 27:04.269 ...fancier or something. 27:04.270 --> 27:05.478 It's the parking garage. 27:05.479 --> 27:06.771 Yay! Wait a minute. 27:06.772 --> 27:09.065 That's her. That's her! 27:09.066 --> 27:10.734 That's her? Hey! Hey! 27:12.486 --> 27:14.112 - Wait... - I'm not gonna run after a car. 27:14.113 --> 27:16.906 What the... You nuts? There's a stop sign up there. 27:16.907 --> 27:18.617 - Then you run after the car. - Fine! 27:19.410 --> 27:21.119 Okay. No. Screw it. I'm not gonna run after the car. 27:21.120 --> 27:22.412 No, you're not gonna run after the car. 27:22.413 --> 27:23.872 - We're parked this way. - Okay. 27:30.129 --> 27:32.381 Oh, wow! Okay. 27:34.675 --> 27:36.135 We should be quiet. 27:39.805 --> 27:41.598 Well, what are you waiting for, Gail? Buzz him. 27:41.599 --> 27:43.267 Buzz him? I hardly know him. 27:49.648 --> 27:51.399 "Buzz him. I hardly know him." 27:51.400 --> 27:52.401 We're too funny. 27:52.985 --> 27:54.945 Hilarious jokes aside, 27:55.779 --> 27:59.407 do you think celebrities normally let in strangers with sex requests? 27:59.408 --> 28:00.533 Mm. 28:00.534 --> 28:01.701 That's a good point. 28:01.702 --> 28:04.078 I think we need to get you on the other side of that gate 28:04.079 --> 28:05.914 so that Hamm Dog can see you face-to-face. 28:05.915 --> 28:08.042 Mm-hmm. Then he'll have to fuck you. 28:14.715 --> 28:15.799 I have an idea. 28:16.842 --> 28:18.052 Take your clothes off. 28:19.011 --> 28:20.845 I got your butt! 28:20.846 --> 28:22.597 Oh, shoot. Whoa! 28:22.598 --> 28:23.681 Nice and slow. 28:23.682 --> 28:24.891 -I got a foothold. - Okay. 28:24.892 --> 28:26.559 Just climb over and we'll slowly 28:26.560 --> 28:27.644 - lower you down. -We got you. 28:27.645 --> 28:28.728 Wait, wait, wait! 28:31.524 --> 28:32.566 Whoops. 28:33.817 --> 28:35.235 - You good? - Ow! 28:35.236 --> 28:37.530 - But yes, I am good. -Okay! 28:38.822 --> 28:41.199 See? Nothing a little clothes rope won't fix. 28:41.200 --> 28:42.534 Turns out it was unlocked. 28:42.535 --> 28:44.702 Look at this place. Wow. 28:44.703 --> 28:46.329 Jon Hamm's done well for himself. 28:46.330 --> 28:49.499 - Wait. How do I look? - Oh, fabulous. 28:49.500 --> 28:51.751 And that is my professional opinion. 28:53.337 --> 28:54.838 Excuse me! 29:01.262 --> 29:03.471 -Excuse me. Who are you? - You're "Weird Al" Yankovic. 29:03.472 --> 29:05.557 Maybe. 29:05.558 --> 29:07.100 Uh, you live with Jon Hamm? 29:07.101 --> 29:10.144 No. I bought this house from him, like, a year ago. 29:10.145 --> 29:12.355 - You guys know Jon? - Not exactly. 29:12.356 --> 29:14.482 Well, how exactly did you get in here? 29:14.483 --> 29:16.192 We made a clothes rope. 29:16.193 --> 29:18.736 - Of course! - Out of our clothes. 29:19.989 --> 29:21.323 Told you guys it was a good idea. 29:22.449 --> 29:23.576 You know... 29:24.118 --> 29:25.369 funny thing about Hollywood. 29:26.453 --> 29:27.997 - What's he doing? - What is he gonna... 29:29.039 --> 29:30.540 People think it's a parody. 29:30.541 --> 29:32.876 Like we're all just playing pretend. 29:33.460 --> 29:36.462 Except when it comes to defending our property. 29:36.463 --> 29:37.965 What are we gonna do? 29:41.552 --> 29:42.636 Well, well, well. 29:43.220 --> 29:45.680 Gail and her friends are in a real pickle now. 29:45.681 --> 29:47.057 How are they gonna get out of this one? 29:47.600 --> 29:50.060 They need a clever solution, and they need it fast. 29:50.769 --> 29:53.062 Well, sometimes the best idea 29:53.063 --> 29:55.816 is the same idea you had a few minutes ago. 29:56.859 --> 29:58.234 I have an idea. 29:58.235 --> 30:00.528 - Quick, take off your clothes. - Okay! 30:00.529 --> 30:01.779 You people think 30:01.780 --> 30:04.699 just because you bought a ticket to one of my concerts, 30:04.700 --> 30:07.620 you have the right to invade my sanctuary? 30:09.079 --> 30:11.080 Now! Suck it! 30:11.081 --> 30:13.207 My pants! Sweater! 30:13.208 --> 30:14.543 Shirt! More pants! 30:16.712 --> 30:17.963 Run! 30:24.136 --> 30:26.763 I'm coming for you! 30:35.272 --> 30:36.439 You okay? 30:36.440 --> 30:38.191 Hey! 30:38.192 --> 30:40.401 This is my goddamn tree! Find your own goddamn tree! 30:40.402 --> 30:41.694 Who are you? 30:41.695 --> 30:43.488 Who am I? Eat me out. That's who I am. 30:43.489 --> 30:44.989 I've been camped out here for two days 30:44.990 --> 30:47.033 trying to get a picture of "Weird Al" Yankovic, 30:47.034 --> 30:48.159 and you guys are blowing my cover! 30:48.160 --> 30:50.078 So sorry. We really didn't mean... 30:50.079 --> 30:51.788 Aha! There you are! 30:51.789 --> 30:52.997 Run! Run! 30:52.998 --> 30:53.998 -Eat it! - Run! Run! 30:53.999 --> 30:55.500 Eat it! 30:55.501 --> 30:57.418 Get yourself an egg and beat it! 31:03.801 --> 31:05.718 - Goddamn it! - Hey! Hey! 31:05.719 --> 31:08.012 Sorry! We did not mean to horn in on your project. 31:08.013 --> 31:09.389 Really, really sorry. 31:09.390 --> 31:12.226 Oh, no, no, no. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, I... 31:13.435 --> 31:16.354 I didn't mean to be so hostile. I... I... I'm not mad at you. 31:16.355 --> 31:17.814 -Huh? - I'm mad at me. 31:17.815 --> 31:19.607 - I'm mad at this guy right here. -Oh. 31:19.608 --> 31:22.276 Well, you know what? We played a part in creating that situation, 31:22.277 --> 31:24.404 - and for that we apologize, right, guys? -We do. We were all 31:24.405 --> 31:26.572 - very, very stressed out back there. - Yeah. 31:26.573 --> 31:29.325 Please don't patronize me. I know what people think of paparazzi. 31:29.326 --> 31:30.743 You know, that they're these heartless, 31:30.744 --> 31:34.038 bottom-feeding scumbags who don't take a shower. And, um... 31:34.039 --> 31:35.373 that's why I try so hard 31:35.374 --> 31:37.041 to be a nice guy, you know? 31:37.042 --> 31:39.419 And then I just blow my gasket one time, 31:39.420 --> 31:42.171 and all that hard work is shot to shit. 31:42.172 --> 31:43.548 Goddamn it! 31:43.549 --> 31:45.508 Please don't beat yourself up. 31:45.509 --> 31:47.176 Ah. Oh. 31:47.177 --> 31:49.470 My car! No! 31:49.471 --> 31:50.889 I'm so stupid! 31:51.765 --> 31:53.891 This is just great. This is just great. 31:53.892 --> 31:55.727 It's like, you know, "Oh. Oh, hi, Mommy. 31:55.728 --> 31:57.979 "I'm just calling to let you know that my car got towed, 31:57.980 --> 31:59.105 "and I got fired today. 31:59.106 --> 32:00.356 "How was your day? Was it good? 32:00.357 --> 32:01.733 "Did you go to the hip-hop class? Was it fun? 32:01.734 --> 32:03.401 "Or did you feel too old and leave halfway through?" 32:03.402 --> 32:04.403 Come here. 32:04.987 --> 32:06.071 Come here. It's okay. 32:06.822 --> 32:08.656 But hey, look on the bright side. 32:08.657 --> 32:10.366 We got to meet "Weird Al" Yankovic. 32:10.367 --> 32:13.161 - Yeah! That's pretty cool, huh? - Right? 32:13.162 --> 32:14.662 And who was that other man? 32:14.663 --> 32:16.330 I... I think that was Penn Jillette. 32:16.331 --> 32:18.124 No shit. Not sure why, but yeah. 32:18.125 --> 32:20.877 -See? - But hey, Gail, I mean, with no car, 32:20.878 --> 32:22.545 how are we supposed to find Jon Hamm? 32:22.546 --> 32:23.672 Wait. 32:24.131 --> 32:25.339 Did you say Jon Hamm? 32:25.340 --> 32:27.633 Yes. I need to find him and sleep with him by Sunday. 32:27.634 --> 32:29.386 - Why? - Hamm... 32:30.637 --> 32:31.930 is my Holy Grail. 32:33.724 --> 32:37.226 2007, I was a wet-behind-the-ears beat photographer 32:37.227 --> 32:38.644 at People magazine. 32:38.645 --> 32:40.188 I was the new kid on the block. 32:40.189 --> 32:42.648 But I was good. Real good. 32:42.649 --> 32:43.816 Any celeb you name, 32:43.817 --> 32:46.903 I tracked them down and I got the perfect candid shot. 32:46.904 --> 32:49.572 -What do you got for me? - I got Banks beaching in Baja. 32:49.573 --> 32:50.656 Banks in Baja? 32:50.657 --> 32:52.325 I got Paris pounding a pastrami. 32:52.326 --> 32:53.659 Spears spelunking in Spain. 32:53.660 --> 32:55.912 Lohan lounging in Lisbon. Cruise caroling at Christmas. 32:55.913 --> 32:57.538 Tara tanning topless in Tulum. Beyoncé basking in Barbados. 32:57.539 --> 32:58.748 Mary-Kate meditating in Marrakesh. 32:58.749 --> 33:00.875 I got Schreiber walking his dog. 33:00.876 --> 33:02.251 Yes! 33:02.252 --> 33:04.712 I was on fire. I never once failed. 33:04.713 --> 33:06.130 Around the office they called me 33:06.131 --> 33:09.468 "Mr. Always Gets His Shot, Even When It's a Hard Shot to Get." 33:09.593 --> 33:12.221 It was a mouthful, but it was an accurate description. 33:12.638 --> 33:13.721 Take a look at this. 33:13.722 --> 33:16.641 And then one day, my editor gave me a no-brainer assignment. 33:16.642 --> 33:20.102 Get a candid shot of the star of the new hot show Mad Men. 33:20.103 --> 33:23.314 An actor I hadn't heard of by the name of Jon Hamm. 33:23.315 --> 33:27.027 Little did I know he would become my white whale. 33:27.778 --> 33:29.403 - He eluded me. -Hey, hey. No paparazzi. 33:29.404 --> 33:30.363 - Move. - Hey, come on! 33:30.364 --> 33:31.697 Time after time... 33:31.698 --> 33:32.782 Fuck! 33:32.783 --> 33:34.450 ...day after day, 33:34.451 --> 33:35.786 night after night. 33:36.954 --> 33:40.039 The deadline had come, and I had no clue what I was gonna do. 33:40.040 --> 33:41.249 But then... 33:41.250 --> 33:43.251 Hmm? 33:43.252 --> 33:44.460 Talk to me. 33:44.461 --> 33:45.462 He's there right now? 33:45.963 --> 33:47.296 ...a hot tip. 33:47.297 --> 33:50.592 And this time, I wasn't gonna let him get away. 33:52.427 --> 33:53.803 And there he was, 33:53.804 --> 33:56.055 my white male whale. 33:56.056 --> 33:57.515 I got you, you son of a bitch! 33:57.516 --> 33:59.976 This was my moment to lock in my identity 33:59.977 --> 34:03.813 as Mr. Always Gets His Shot, Even Though it's... It was a Hard... 34:03.814 --> 34:04.939 Or something like that. 34:04.940 --> 34:06.232 I hit the button. 34:06.233 --> 34:08.068 But then... nothing. 34:09.653 --> 34:10.945 No film! 34:15.075 --> 34:16.326 And he was gone. 34:17.828 --> 34:20.830 Things spiraled after that. Drugs, alcohol, gambling. 34:20.831 --> 34:23.333 Lost my job. Started living out of my car. 34:24.084 --> 34:25.626 Sold my hair for wigs. 34:25.627 --> 34:27.462 It wasn't long after that I started... 34:28.422 --> 34:30.007 selling my wigs for hair. 34:31.091 --> 34:33.801 But the truth is, I lost more than my job that day. 34:33.802 --> 34:35.803 I lost something in here. 34:35.804 --> 34:38.139 Yeah, I still freelance for a few bucks these days, 34:38.140 --> 34:39.515 but it's been a long time 34:39.516 --> 34:42.727 since the days of Mr. Always Gets His Shot Even When He... 34:44.605 --> 34:45.688 Uh, fuck. What was it again? 34:45.689 --> 34:47.481 Even When It Was a Hard Shot to Get. 34:47.482 --> 34:49.860 Yeah. Something like that. 34:51.028 --> 34:52.070 But now, these days... 34:52.946 --> 34:54.280 I always carry a spare roll 34:54.281 --> 34:55.990 - of film with me. -Mm. 34:55.991 --> 34:57.366 But everything's digital now. 34:57.367 --> 34:58.911 It's a reminder, Jacko! 35:00.203 --> 35:02.038 To never leave what's important behind. 35:02.039 --> 35:03.206 -Mm-hmm. - Ah. 35:04.124 --> 35:05.750 Anyway, that's my long story short. 35:07.044 --> 35:10.504 - Wasn't that short of a story. - I thought it was a great story, uh... 35:10.505 --> 35:12.214 - Vincent. - Nice to meet you, Vincent. 35:12.215 --> 35:13.799 My name is Gail. This is Otto and Caleb. 35:15.427 --> 35:17.053 Hey, this might sound crazy, 35:17.054 --> 35:19.597 but we could really, really use your know-how 35:19.598 --> 35:22.184 in terms of tracking down celebrities. Would you... 35:23.268 --> 35:25.603 wanna come with us to find Jon Hamm? 35:28.649 --> 35:30.067 Well, well, well. 35:31.318 --> 35:34.154 The white whale "weturns." 35:35.238 --> 35:36.906 - What? - "Wet's woll." 35:36.907 --> 35:39.784 Hey. Yes! 35:39.785 --> 35:41.035 - Let's go. -This is exciting. 35:41.036 --> 35:42.620 Hey, we're skipping. Look at us. We're skipping. 35:52.798 --> 35:54.882 - My case? - Oh, um... 35:54.883 --> 35:55.925 - Not much luck. - Yet. 35:55.926 --> 35:59.512 But we have some very good leads. 36:00.931 --> 36:04.517 So, you came here to tell me that you don't have my case? 36:04.518 --> 36:06.602 Uh, yeah... Yes, that we did. 36:06.603 --> 36:09.438 And also that we're a little bit hungry, 36:09.439 --> 36:11.941 so we thought when in Rome... 36:11.942 --> 36:13.777 - themed restaurant. -Oh. 36:15.028 --> 36:16.029 Sit. 36:17.030 --> 36:19.116 I'm good. I had a snack earlier. 36:23.495 --> 36:24.746 Sergio. 36:25.288 --> 36:29.083 - Sergio, Sergio, Sergio. - Thank you. 36:29.084 --> 36:30.209 That's silly. 36:30.210 --> 36:31.752 Oh! Look at this. 36:31.753 --> 36:32.920 - Thank you. -You're hungry. 36:32.921 --> 36:34.755 So maybe you just need to eat! 36:43.390 --> 36:44.682 Come on, everybody. 36:59.239 --> 37:01.615 No, I love Baja. Don't you remember? 37:01.616 --> 37:04.910 People magazine had those photos of me in 2007. 37:04.911 --> 37:08.622 I'm not really feeling Italian all of a sudden. 37:08.623 --> 37:10.333 Let's go to that Thai place near you. 37:11.084 --> 37:12.418 Okay. 37:16.465 --> 37:17.631 Anyone else is hungry? 37:17.632 --> 37:19.341 - No! - We gotta go get the case. 37:19.342 --> 37:20.926 - We'll get the case. - Bravi. 37:20.927 --> 37:23.763 Bravi, little monkeys, bravi. 37:23.764 --> 37:26.015 Find that fucking case! 37:32.230 --> 37:33.315 Our luggage. Come in! 37:33.899 --> 37:38.152 Bobby Snaps. Hey, man, it's Vincent. 37:38.153 --> 37:39.487 I'm gonna cut to the CliffsNotes. 37:39.488 --> 37:41.822 I'm in the market for a Mr. Jonathan Hamm. 37:41.823 --> 37:42.990 Uh, excuse me, sir, 37:42.991 --> 37:44.658 we were actually supposed to have two beds. 37:44.659 --> 37:46.285 I can bring a rollaway, if that would work. 37:46.286 --> 37:48.497 Thank you! Wait. 37:49.081 --> 37:50.873 Let me give you a tip. 37:50.874 --> 37:52.917 I don't wanna be on the wrong side of history. 37:52.918 --> 37:55.252 Oh, no. I used all my cash earlier. 37:55.253 --> 37:56.337 Can I use my credit card? 37:56.338 --> 37:57.964 You can use a credit card for anything these days. 37:58.965 --> 38:00.175 Only in LA. 38:01.218 --> 38:02.468 - Otto? -Yeah? 38:02.469 --> 38:04.970 How much should I tip him? Like 75 cents? 38:04.971 --> 38:06.765 - These guys live on their tips. - Okay. 38:12.020 --> 38:13.480 - Thanks. -Anytime. 38:14.606 --> 38:16.482 Anything? 38:16.483 --> 38:17.691 Nothing. 38:17.692 --> 38:19.360 She's a goddamn ghost. 38:20.821 --> 38:21.987 Oh, wait. 38:21.988 --> 38:24.240 Sometimes even a ghost 38:24.241 --> 38:25.533 has to come up for air. 38:25.534 --> 38:28.410 Bingo-bango! We got you, Gail Daughtry! 38:28.411 --> 38:29.537 Got you! 38:39.256 --> 38:41.048 Got you! We got you! 38:41.049 --> 38:42.550 Are you sure he's there? You sure? 38:42.551 --> 38:44.093 - All right, he's there right now? - What? 38:44.094 --> 38:45.469 Okay. Thanks, man! 38:45.470 --> 38:47.639 Thank you, man! 38:48.223 --> 38:52.017 Uh, who's ready to meet a Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm? 38:52.018 --> 38:53.310 No way! No way! 38:53.311 --> 38:56.605 I'm ready to do a lot more than meet him! 38:58.608 --> 39:00.359 Oh! Ew! 39:00.360 --> 39:02.319 - Wait, wait, do you get it? - Yeah. 39:02.320 --> 39:04.238 Okay, I gotta get dressed. I gotta do my hair. 39:04.239 --> 39:05.240 Right. Okay. 39:05.782 --> 39:07.116 Hey, what are we doing here? 39:07.117 --> 39:09.201 We have to hit the road now. We don't wanna miss him. 39:09.202 --> 39:10.369 Okay, bring your hair stuff with you. 39:10.370 --> 39:12.289 - We'll get you all dolled up on the way. - Okay. 39:12.914 --> 39:14.166 Yep. I think this is it. 39:16.459 --> 39:17.585 Yeah. Over here. 39:17.586 --> 39:18.752 Oh, I forgot to do my hair! 39:18.753 --> 39:20.379 Oh, don't worry about it. You look great. 39:20.380 --> 39:22.089 That's my professional opinion. 39:22.090 --> 39:24.258 Oh, Otto, what would I do without you? 39:24.259 --> 39:26.136 My guess is you'd be dead. 39:28.847 --> 39:29.930 Huh. 39:29.931 --> 39:31.015 Fuck you! 39:31.016 --> 39:34.518 This is not where I thought a big-time movie star would live. 39:34.519 --> 39:36.896 I think he should fire his business manager. 39:42.068 --> 39:43.986 Wait, that's Jon Hamm? 39:43.987 --> 39:45.738 No, that's John Slattery. 39:45.739 --> 39:48.032 He co-starred with Jon Hamm on Mad Men, remember? 39:48.033 --> 39:50.451 Right! He played Roger Sterling. Cool! 39:50.452 --> 39:52.287 But I thought we were going to Jon Hamm's house. 39:53.872 --> 39:58.709 Hey, this guy is a hell of a lot closer to Jon Hamm than any of us are, okay? 39:58.710 --> 40:00.044 I don't see anybody here 40:00.045 --> 40:02.796 with Hamm's number on their phone computers, do you? 40:02.797 --> 40:04.423 - No one's saying that... - Who says "phone computer"? 40:04.424 --> 40:07.259 Otto, are you good friends with Jon Hamm? No, you're not. 40:07.260 --> 40:09.845 Caleb, are you Jon Hamm's personal fuck buddy? 40:09.846 --> 40:11.805 - What? No. - No, I don't think so, okay? 40:11.806 --> 40:13.015 This is a lead! 40:13.016 --> 40:15.309 What I do every day is to find celebrities, 40:15.310 --> 40:16.977 and this is how I do it! 40:16.978 --> 40:18.979 Okay, fine. You're right. We're sorry. Just calm down. 40:18.980 --> 40:21.440 If it's a dead end, it's a dead end, okay? 40:21.441 --> 40:24.151 Sure, John Slattery hasn't had an acting job in over a decade, 40:24.152 --> 40:26.445 but he worked with Jon Hamm for years, okay? 40:26.446 --> 40:28.239 So what are we gonna do? Not try? 40:28.240 --> 40:30.032 I'm just saying, like, maybe we could take it down a notch. 40:30.033 --> 40:31.659 How about you take it down a notch? 40:31.660 --> 40:33.118 - Vincent. Vincent, look at me! Look at me! - How about you stop? 40:33.119 --> 40:34.787 - You think... - We're all on the same team! 40:34.788 --> 40:36.288 Now, I need you to keep it together. 40:36.289 --> 40:37.790 Okay. I'm sorry, it's just that 40:37.791 --> 40:39.333 these two do-do-do's are pushing my buttons. 40:39.334 --> 40:40.961 - What did you just call me? - It's okay. 40:41.711 --> 40:45.422 I'm sorry. I've just been through so much. 40:45.423 --> 40:46.840 I totally get it. 40:46.841 --> 40:48.968 But we gotta keep our eyes on the prize. 40:48.969 --> 40:51.845 Which is slippin' Hamm's D into Gail's V. 40:51.846 --> 40:53.055 Right. 40:55.058 --> 40:57.519 Uh, hello? Hi. 40:57.978 --> 40:59.061 - Stop! - Whoa. 40:59.062 --> 41:01.689 I have the legal right to defend myself against trespassers. 41:01.690 --> 41:03.565 No, no, no, we're not trespassers. We just want... 41:03.566 --> 41:05.567 California Penal Code section 602 would disagree. 41:05.568 --> 41:08.445 Entry onto the property of another without permission is trespassing. 41:08.446 --> 41:10.823 I therefore have the legal right to kick your ass 41:10.824 --> 41:12.074 and take names never. 41:14.160 --> 41:15.160 Oh! 41:15.161 --> 41:17.454 Ow, ow, ow. 41:17.455 --> 41:19.039 -Oops. - Just take it. Take everything. 41:19.040 --> 41:21.792 The key to the safe is in the pantry in a fake soup can. 41:21.793 --> 41:22.876 Ow! 41:22.877 --> 41:25.421 I... I think it's the beef barley. 41:25.422 --> 41:27.214 Please, just please don't hurt me. 41:27.215 --> 41:28.757 No, no, we're... we're not here to hurt you. 41:28.758 --> 41:30.676 What are you talking about? You just did! 41:30.677 --> 41:32.761 What'd you do that for? I wasn't doing anything to you. 41:32.762 --> 41:34.388 I was just trying to scare you. 41:34.389 --> 41:37.141 I'm so sorry. It was just self-defense. 41:37.142 --> 41:39.852 Well, what are you doing sneaking up on me when I'm in a meeting? 41:39.853 --> 41:40.936 With who? 41:40.937 --> 41:43.772 A commitment to one's self is as important a meeting as any. 41:43.773 --> 41:44.898 Okay, the truth is, 41:44.899 --> 41:47.067 we're here because my fiancé's celebrity free pass 41:47.068 --> 41:48.610 was Jennifer Aniston, and he did it. 41:48.611 --> 41:51.405 So now I need to find my celebrity pass, Jon Hamm. 41:52.991 --> 41:55.242 - Should have guessed. - Can you help us find him? 41:55.243 --> 41:56.994 Yeah, I could. But I won't. 41:56.995 --> 41:59.371 Okay. I understand. 41:59.372 --> 42:02.249 You're not the first person to come to me with this kind of a request. 42:02.250 --> 42:04.626 Everybody wants a dicking from J.D.H. 42:04.627 --> 42:07.087 Back in the day, we used to split up the spoils. 42:07.088 --> 42:09.840 Sure. Golden Globes after-party, 2007? 42:09.841 --> 42:11.842 - Forget it. - Uh-huh. 42:11.843 --> 42:14.054 These days... 42:15.889 --> 42:17.473 Tell you what I will do. 42:17.474 --> 42:19.558 Have your friends walk around the block and I'll doink you. 42:19.559 --> 42:21.268 That's got to still be worth something, right? 42:21.269 --> 42:24.313 For God's sake, I was in the seventh greatest show of all time, 42:24.314 --> 42:26.148 according to Rolling Stone magazine. 42:26.149 --> 42:29.360 And it would have been number one if it weren't for Seinfeld, Fleabag, 42:29.361 --> 42:31.945 Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Simpsons, and The Sopranos. 42:31.946 --> 42:34.365 But I don't see Homer Simpson standing here ready to whip it out, 42:34.366 --> 42:35.949 so, uh, what do you say? 42:35.950 --> 42:37.284 You wanna finalize this freak-fest? 42:37.285 --> 42:38.911 That's a very sweet offer, Mr. Slattery. 42:38.912 --> 42:40.454 You're goddamn right it is. 42:40.455 --> 42:42.624 - But it's not what I'm looking for. - Okay. 42:43.500 --> 42:45.042 If your friends wanna stay and watch, that's fine, 42:45.043 --> 42:46.126 but they have to hide in the closet, 42:46.127 --> 42:47.628 and they can't make a lot of noise. It throws me off. 42:47.629 --> 42:49.254 Uh, this is a dead end. Let's get out of here. 42:49.255 --> 42:51.131 - Thank you. - Okay, I'm sorry to bother you. 42:51.132 --> 42:52.549 Yeah, fine. I wasn't into you either. 42:52.550 --> 42:53.926 I'll tell you something, sweet cheeks, 42:53.927 --> 42:57.305 I like my women like I like my men, chunky as fuck. 42:57.806 --> 43:00.016 -What? - I said good day! 43:02.060 --> 43:04.603 Knock your face right off. See? There it is on the floor. 43:04.604 --> 43:06.480 What are you gonna do now? You got your face on the floor. 43:06.481 --> 43:07.816 Wait, guys. 43:08.983 --> 43:10.485 Let me take a swing at this one. 43:17.617 --> 43:19.034 Mr. Slattery. 43:19.035 --> 43:21.662 California Penal Code section 602. Go away. 43:21.663 --> 43:22.955 Orville and Wilbur. 43:22.956 --> 43:24.456 - What? - The Wright brothers. 43:24.457 --> 43:25.791 They invented the airplane. 43:25.792 --> 43:27.167 Yeah. No duh. What about it? 43:27.168 --> 43:28.962 What about it? They were brothers, John. 43:29.587 --> 43:32.464 They were partners. They were equals. 43:32.465 --> 43:35.592 They made something great together, and it was a massive hit. 43:35.593 --> 43:36.928 The airplane was a blockbuster. 43:38.096 --> 43:39.347 But what happened to the brothers? 43:40.098 --> 43:42.474 Orville, well, he's a hero, isn't he? 43:42.475 --> 43:43.810 He's in the history books. 43:44.644 --> 43:46.354 But as for Wilbur... 43:47.480 --> 43:49.773 he just couldn't handle the heat, could he? 43:49.774 --> 43:51.025 He didn't have the courage. 43:51.860 --> 43:53.111 So, what did he do? 43:54.362 --> 43:56.613 He resigned himself to being a footnote, 43:56.614 --> 43:58.157 a trivia question, 43:58.158 --> 44:00.951 wasting away the final precious years of his life 44:00.952 --> 44:02.036 punching a bag in a garage. 44:03.329 --> 44:04.455 You see the connection that I'm making, John? 44:04.456 --> 44:05.956 - I'm Orville? - You're Wilbur. 44:05.957 --> 44:08.751 Okay, then yes, I see the connection clearly. 44:10.003 --> 44:11.087 John... 44:12.255 --> 44:14.173 watching you give that there bag a "what for," 44:14.174 --> 44:16.926 I can see that the fire still burns in your belly. 44:18.094 --> 44:19.887 So, I just have one question for you. 44:19.888 --> 44:22.431 Are you gonna spend the rest of your life 44:22.432 --> 44:24.767 believing that you're the wrong Wright brother? 44:27.103 --> 44:28.980 Or are you gonna start to believe 44:29.814 --> 44:32.025 that deep down inside, 44:33.067 --> 44:35.820 there can be two right Wright brothers? 44:38.406 --> 44:39.990 Am I right, brother? 45:00.845 --> 45:03.263 So, long story short, I keep the roll of film as a reminder. 45:03.264 --> 45:04.681 Wasn't that short a story. 45:04.682 --> 45:06.308 Now, how do we find Hamm? 45:06.309 --> 45:08.519 First thing we should do is call his agent at CAA. 45:08.520 --> 45:11.063 Uh, we tried that. Yeah, that ship has sailed. 45:11.064 --> 45:12.731 Oh! Uh, I... I know he's got a house in Bel-Air. 45:12.732 --> 45:13.815 Sold it a year ago. 45:13.816 --> 45:15.108 I thought you were still friends. 45:15.109 --> 45:16.527 Yeah, we're still friends. 45:16.528 --> 45:17.903 We're just both busy. 45:17.904 --> 45:19.906 So, we text mostly nowadays. Wait, let me see. 45:42.053 --> 45:44.012 What is it? 45:44.013 --> 45:45.306 It doesn't... You won't get it. 46:14.043 --> 46:15.878 Okay, you know, go up here to Sunset. 46:16.379 --> 46:19.172 Are you sure he still lives here? How long ago was that text? 46:19.173 --> 46:20.841 - Six months ago. - Okay. 46:20.842 --> 46:21.926 Super helpful. 46:22.677 --> 46:25.512 Hey, perhaps, Otto, you can come up with a better idea 46:25.513 --> 46:27.222 before you choke the life out of this one, 46:27.223 --> 46:29.474 like your dick on a lonely Saturday night! 46:29.475 --> 46:31.143 -Hey, hey! - You wanna go? Let's go! 46:31.144 --> 46:32.978 - I'm not afraid of you! - Come on! Come on, come on! 46:32.979 --> 46:34.730 Hey, look. Look, look, look. 46:34.731 --> 46:37.024 There it is. The Chateau Marmont. 46:37.025 --> 46:40.110 Wow. It's more beautiful than I even imagined 46:40.111 --> 46:42.863 when I first heard about this place 30 minutes ago. 46:42.864 --> 46:43.865 Come on! 46:46.784 --> 46:48.201 Hello, I'm Gail. 46:48.202 --> 46:49.995 -Hi. - Is Jon Hamm here? 46:49.996 --> 46:51.788 We don't give out that kind of information. 46:51.789 --> 46:54.750 Okay, I think it's time to drop the neutron bomb. 46:54.751 --> 46:56.209 - Here we go. Hello. - Hello. 46:56.210 --> 46:58.295 - I'm John Slattery. - I know who you are. 46:58.296 --> 47:00.547 Oh, well, okay. 47:00.548 --> 47:01.882 Now we're cooking. 47:01.883 --> 47:03.383 So, give us the 411. 47:03.384 --> 47:05.594 What's the deal with my boy Jonny Hammer Sticks? 47:05.595 --> 47:07.263 Can't help you. Hotel policy. 47:08.222 --> 47:09.890 Wow. She's tough. I'm out of moves. 47:09.891 --> 47:11.266 -Yeah, she's good. - It's all right. 47:11.267 --> 47:13.268 You did literally everything that you could. 47:13.269 --> 47:15.395 Front desk. How may I help you? 47:15.396 --> 47:17.939 One order of pineapple coconut pancakes to Room 203. 47:17.940 --> 47:19.317 - Right away, sir. - Stop. 47:20.401 --> 47:21.402 Hammer time. 47:22.111 --> 47:24.279 Well, that's 203, okay. 47:24.280 --> 47:25.197 Do you wanna knock? 47:25.198 --> 47:26.407 No, you knock. Okay. 47:28.951 --> 47:31.329 - Can I help you? - Hi. We're here to see Jon Hamm. 47:31.913 --> 47:33.121 Do you have an appointment? 47:33.122 --> 47:36.458 - No, but I'm, uh, John... - Slattery! Yeah, I know. 47:39.337 --> 47:41.088 - Hey. What's up, man? -Hey, hi. 47:41.089 --> 47:42.964 Respect to the work, bro. I really appreciate it. 47:42.965 --> 47:44.675 - Oh, thank you, man. Thank you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah. 47:44.676 --> 47:45.884 All right, y'all have a good day. 47:45.885 --> 47:47.302 -Wait, no. No, no, no, come back. - Wait. Wait. 47:47.303 --> 47:48.345 Wait. Ow! 47:48.346 --> 47:50.598 - Ow! Ow! Ow! -Oh! Ow! 47:51.182 --> 47:53.183 - Move. Move out the way. - Ow! Ow! 47:53.184 --> 47:55.060 Ow! Ow! 47:55.061 --> 47:56.436 Slat-man! 47:56.437 --> 47:58.522 - Ow! Ow! Ow! - Move. 47:58.523 --> 47:59.606 -Stop! Stop it! - Ow! Ow! 48:00.692 --> 48:01.818 - What are you doing? - Ow! 48:02.235 --> 48:03.568 - Stop doing that! No! - Ow! Ow! 48:03.569 --> 48:04.861 Stop it! 48:04.862 --> 48:07.490 Ow! Ow! 48:08.658 --> 48:10.992 Please stop. Just stop. 48:10.993 --> 48:13.454 Ow! Ow! Hey, Jon Hamm! 48:15.498 --> 48:18.125 What the heck? Why did you have to hit him like that, mister? 48:18.126 --> 48:19.793 I'm gonna do a hell of a lot worse than that 48:19.794 --> 48:21.461 if you don't march y'all asses out of here. 48:21.462 --> 48:23.588 Worse than hitting him in the face? What are you gonna do to him? 48:23.589 --> 48:25.591 I'm gonna make him very sick. 48:26.592 --> 48:28.468 - What? How? - Enough questions. 48:28.469 --> 48:32.180 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 48:32.181 --> 48:34.808 Just hear us out, okay? I can explain very quickly. 48:34.809 --> 48:36.810 The bullet points are celebrity free pass. 48:36.811 --> 48:38.562 My fiancé's was Aniston. Mine is Hamm. 48:38.563 --> 48:40.732 He did it. I didn't, and I need to. 48:42.984 --> 48:46.153 I understand completely. And I sympathize with your situation. 48:46.154 --> 48:48.072 So, I'm not gonna make you all sick. 48:49.115 --> 48:50.533 But I can't let you in. 48:51.409 --> 48:52.826 Now get out of here before I change my mind 48:52.827 --> 48:54.494 and make you all real sick. 48:55.621 --> 48:58.123 Well, nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 48:58.124 --> 49:00.500 - No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. - I just got over something. 49:00.501 --> 49:02.712 - Okay. Let's get out of here. -Jesus. 49:06.632 --> 49:09.301 I don't know, maybe this whole idea, 49:09.302 --> 49:11.595 me thinking that having sex with Jon Hamm 49:11.596 --> 49:14.848 would solve my relationship, is just ridiculous. It's stupid. 49:14.849 --> 49:18.393 Just an utterly pointless premise. It's like, why? 49:18.394 --> 49:19.644 No, Gail, no. 49:19.645 --> 49:21.271 We're too far into this thing to give up now. 49:21.272 --> 49:23.315 Yeah, Gail. John Slattery is right. 49:23.316 --> 49:26.568 If we work together as a team, we can accomplish literally anything. 49:26.569 --> 49:29.738 Don't worry, Gail, somehow we'll get you in there. 49:29.739 --> 49:30.906 He's right. 49:30.907 --> 49:32.992 And then we're gonna get him in there. 49:33.326 --> 49:36.745 Aw! Guys. I know we all just met today, 49:36.746 --> 49:39.664 but it really feels like we've known each other for over a week. 49:41.417 --> 49:42.501 - Hey. - Oh! 49:42.502 --> 49:44.294 I wanted to catch you before you left. 49:44.295 --> 49:47.964 When I said I sympathized with you, I didn't tell you the exact truth. 49:47.965 --> 49:51.259 The truth is, I more than sympathize with you. 49:51.260 --> 49:52.636 I empathize with you. 49:52.637 --> 49:54.179 Which is very different. Look it up. 49:54.180 --> 49:55.639 Okay. 49:55.640 --> 49:57.058 On your phone. Look it up. Uh... 50:02.688 --> 50:03.939 Oh! 50:03.940 --> 50:05.607 - So you're saying that... - That's right. 50:06.984 --> 50:08.319 Her name was Rebecca. 50:08.986 --> 50:10.404 We were in Mexico. 50:11.030 --> 50:13.908 Rebecca loved bullfights. I hated them, but I loved her. 50:15.326 --> 50:17.452 Then, chaos. 50:17.453 --> 50:20.455 Bull jumps the fence, heads right for Rebecca. 50:20.456 --> 50:22.374 I pull her away, but she's wearing red. 50:22.375 --> 50:24.292 It's over in seconds. I slip on something. 50:24.293 --> 50:25.502 It's Rebecca's liver. 50:25.503 --> 50:27.087 Jesus Christ! 50:27.088 --> 50:29.757 Yeah. So, yeah, I empathize with what you're going through. 50:31.592 --> 50:34.928 That's actually quite different from Gail's situation. 50:34.929 --> 50:37.889 Okay, maybe it is that I sympathize more than empathize. 50:37.890 --> 50:41.476 Bottom line, whether it's a free celebrity pass taken too far 50:41.477 --> 50:43.854 or an out-of-control bull disemboweling my Rebecca, 50:43.855 --> 50:47.315 I know what it's like when someone comes between you and the one you love. 50:47.316 --> 50:49.025 So, I went ahead 50:49.026 --> 50:50.861 - and I talked to Mr. Hamm on your behalf. -What? 50:50.862 --> 50:52.988 You did? What did he say? 50:52.989 --> 50:55.115 He's on the lookout for his next film project. 50:55.116 --> 50:58.368 He said if you guys could bring him a great movie idea for him to star in, 50:58.369 --> 51:01.788 one that electrifies audiences but also speaks to Jon personally, 51:01.789 --> 51:05.251 then he promises he'll help you with whatever you need. 51:06.002 --> 51:07.544 Whatever we need? 51:07.545 --> 51:10.672 Wait, so we have to pitch him a film idea? 51:10.673 --> 51:13.842 No, more than just an idea. He needs a fully fleshed-out story. 51:13.843 --> 51:16.094 And of course, I come on board as a producer. 51:16.095 --> 51:18.221 I gotta get enough money to help Rebecca with a proper burial. 51:18.222 --> 51:20.181 - Wait, she's not buried yet? -Not yet. 51:20.182 --> 51:22.184 - Where is she now? - Listen, stay in your lane. 51:22.768 --> 51:24.895 Guys, I think we could come up with something 51:24.896 --> 51:27.147 really great if we put our heads together. 51:27.148 --> 51:30.483 I don't know how we're gonna come up with a whole movie idea before we go home. 51:30.484 --> 51:32.111 I didn't say it was gonna be easy. 51:34.864 --> 51:36.239 Any ideas? 51:36.240 --> 51:38.867 - No. I'm still thinking about the liver. - Yeah. 51:38.868 --> 51:42.871 How about something about, um, like a dog or something? 51:42.872 --> 51:44.998 No, that's already been done. Marley & Me? 51:44.999 --> 51:46.542 Oh, yeah. Right. 51:47.335 --> 51:49.419 Damn it. God, it is such a good idea. 51:49.420 --> 51:52.172 If it wasn't for fucking Marley & Me! 51:52.173 --> 51:53.633 Okay, okay. How about, uh... 51:54.967 --> 51:57.344 Ugh, I can't get Otto's dog idea out of my head. 51:57.345 --> 51:58.929 - I know. - I know we can't 'cause of Marley & Me, 51:58.930 --> 52:01.056 - but it was, like, the exact perfect idea. - It was. 52:01.057 --> 52:03.516 Also, I can't think of anything original because I'm starving. 52:03.517 --> 52:05.560 I have a protein bar in my case in the back seat. 52:05.561 --> 52:07.395 - Do you want it? - Yes, please. I'm dying. 52:07.396 --> 52:08.730 Yeah. I'll take a protein bar. 52:08.731 --> 52:09.940 Want one too? I want two. 52:09.941 --> 52:10.983 Oh! 52:11.400 --> 52:12.692 What about a cat? 52:12.693 --> 52:14.527 - Is the cat's name Marley? -Yes, of course. 52:14.528 --> 52:16.112 - Then technically, it's still Marley & Me. -How? 52:16.113 --> 52:17.614 Is it supposed to be locked? 52:17.615 --> 52:18.990 No, it's probably just jammed. 52:18.991 --> 52:20.617 Okay. Hi-ya! 52:20.618 --> 52:22.327 -Garfield. - Still got it. 52:22.328 --> 52:23.870 Ugh, I hate Mondays! 52:23.871 --> 52:25.997 This is tough. Uh... 52:25.998 --> 52:27.916 I don't see any protein bars in here. 52:27.917 --> 52:29.752 - What? - Just a bunch of papers. 52:32.505 --> 52:34.965 - This isn't my case. -What? 52:34.966 --> 52:36.717 "Top secret." What the heck is this? 52:37.593 --> 52:39.803 - United States Patent Office. - What the hell is that? 52:39.804 --> 52:40.972 Whoa! 52:42.223 --> 52:43.306 I don't know. I feel weird about this. 52:43.307 --> 52:45.183 Are you sure that we should be looking at this stuff? 52:45.184 --> 52:46.434 It's somebody else's property. It feels weird. 52:46.435 --> 52:50.231 Guys, I have read a lot of screenplays over my many months at CAA. 52:51.107 --> 52:52.565 This beats them all. 52:52.566 --> 52:56.987 It's got violence and intrigue and espionage and double identities. 52:56.988 --> 52:58.655 I mean, the fate of the whole damn world's at stake. 52:58.656 --> 53:00.615 - So, what are you saying? - I'm saying, 53:00.616 --> 53:03.535 you plop Jon Hamm into this story, it writes itself. 53:03.536 --> 53:05.078 This is our movie pitch. 53:05.079 --> 53:06.162 Wait, wait, wait. You're saying we're gonna 53:06.163 --> 53:08.123 turn these files into a movie pitch? 53:08.124 --> 53:11.292 Caleb's right. These are real-life details that you just couldn't make up. 53:11.293 --> 53:14.713 I mean, all we have to do is just shape them just a tiny bit. 53:14.714 --> 53:16.339 Hey, Vincent, you sound like a professional screenwriter. 53:16.340 --> 53:17.257 Doesn't he? 53:17.258 --> 53:18.508 - You do. - He does. 53:18.509 --> 53:19.926 Well, funny you say that, you know, 53:19.927 --> 53:23.013 because I originally came to Hollywood to become a screenwriter. 53:23.014 --> 53:25.473 - What? - Yeah. But then I had five mouths to feed, 53:25.474 --> 53:27.642 so I had to give that up tout suite. 53:27.643 --> 53:29.686 - Wait, you have five kids? -Yeah. 53:29.687 --> 53:31.187 They're all starting college this year. 53:31.188 --> 53:34.650 Wait, Vincent, you should be the one to write our Jon Hamm vehicle. 53:35.276 --> 53:36.359 You should. 53:36.360 --> 53:38.153 And Caleb, if you sell it to him 53:38.154 --> 53:41.364 with the same chutzpah that you are showing us right now, 53:41.365 --> 53:44.284 I know that he is going to love it. 53:44.285 --> 53:46.578 I mean, yeah, and... and John Slattery, 53:46.579 --> 53:48.621 I feel like you'd be perfect to play one of the parts. 53:48.622 --> 53:50.290 - Oh, my gosh. Yes. - Really? 53:50.291 --> 53:51.416 - Can you do an Italian accent? - Yes! 53:51.417 --> 53:52.418 Well, no, but... 53:53.335 --> 53:56.713 I've got an English accent that's not too bad. 53:56.714 --> 53:58.423 Care for a spot of tea? 53:58.424 --> 54:00.967 No, thanks. I've got a tummy ache, haven't I? 54:02.511 --> 54:03.970 Me Japanese accent's 54:03.971 --> 54:05.723 not too bad either, don't you know? 54:09.018 --> 54:11.394 Okay, well, I say we go pitch Jon Hamm right now, huh? 54:11.395 --> 54:14.814 Hold on a second. We still need to tighten and mold and put a spit shine 54:14.815 --> 54:17.275 on this pitch before it is ready for prime time. 54:18.444 --> 54:19.652 You guys gonna eat the rest of this? 54:25.868 --> 54:27.535 - Are you kidding me? -Right? 54:27.536 --> 54:29.621 - Oh, my God. -Whoa. 54:29.622 --> 54:31.122 - What happened? - What the heck? 54:31.123 --> 54:32.123 You guys didn't leave it like this? 54:32.124 --> 54:33.124 No. 54:33.125 --> 54:35.085 - Hello, Gail... - Daughtry. 54:35.086 --> 54:36.586 Oh, my God. 54:36.587 --> 54:40.173 Do you have any idea how much turmoil you've caused in our life? 54:40.174 --> 54:41.424 They have no idea. 54:41.425 --> 54:44.511 Okay. Give us the case and we'll be out of your hair. 54:44.512 --> 54:47.097 Okay. Be cool. Give him the case. 54:47.098 --> 54:48.723 Wait, then we have no movie pitch. 54:48.724 --> 54:50.809 Wait, hold on. Slattery... 54:50.810 --> 54:52.769 I'm gonna distract them, and you attack them. 54:52.770 --> 54:55.355 No, no, no. I've never actually fought a real person. 54:55.356 --> 54:57.065 - I will throw up. - Hey! 54:57.066 --> 54:59.401 I'm gonna start to shoot soon. And you don't want that. 55:00.027 --> 55:02.320 Sorry. 55:02.321 --> 55:04.447 Okay. You got one roller bed coming right... 55:04.448 --> 55:06.366 - Oh, my God. -Who's this guy? 55:06.367 --> 55:07.992 Hey, smile. 55:13.749 --> 55:16.459 Run. Run! 55:19.505 --> 55:21.005 I can't see! 55:21.006 --> 55:22.423 Come on! All right! 55:23.676 --> 55:24.677 Run! 55:25.970 --> 55:26.971 Down the stairs! 55:33.269 --> 55:34.352 Give me that case. 55:35.354 --> 55:37.355 Welcome to the Blow out Blow out. 55:37.356 --> 55:41.526 Here is your whip curl king, Remy Fontaine! 55:41.527 --> 55:42.610 Do you miss me? 55:43.988 --> 55:45.614 Make some noise for Remy! 55:47.408 --> 55:49.076 Who wants a whip curl? You? You? 55:50.452 --> 55:51.995 I see 'em! I think I see 'em. 55:58.752 --> 56:02.214 Grip it, flip it and whip it. 56:03.382 --> 56:04.925 You just got fingered. 56:05.843 --> 56:07.428 Remy! 56:08.012 --> 56:11.891 I took a little bit of ketamine. So this is a bit frightening. 56:12.391 --> 56:14.268 I love you, I love you, give me a kiss. 56:15.561 --> 56:17.353 It's Remy. Not right now, honey. 56:17.354 --> 56:19.439 Oh! There. The exit. Let's go. 56:19.440 --> 56:20.940 - Okay. - Go, go, go, go! 56:20.941 --> 56:21.942 Wait, hold on. 56:22.776 --> 56:24.360 -Otto, what are you doing? - Trust me. 56:24.361 --> 56:25.862 Remy loves you. 56:25.863 --> 56:28.990 Be sure to show your love for Remy at the merchandise table. 56:28.991 --> 56:30.992 Did everyone sign up for the meet and greet? 56:30.993 --> 56:33.161 I don't know what the fuck this is. Go that way. 56:34.872 --> 56:37.874 Whip it good. Whip it real good. 56:37.875 --> 56:41.085 No, no, no. Gail. Otto! Otto. Gail. 56:41.086 --> 56:43.338 -It's whip curl madness. - Vincent! 56:43.339 --> 56:44.422 Caleb! 56:44.423 --> 56:45.632 - Gail! - Otto! 56:45.633 --> 56:47.050 John Slattery! 56:47.051 --> 56:49.470 -I want to whip my curls in it. - Gail, we gotta go. 56:50.846 --> 56:53.973 Give it up for Remy... Oh, my God. He's got a gun. 56:55.601 --> 56:57.770 - Found you. - Go, go. Go, go, go. 57:02.233 --> 57:04.109 Uh... Okay. 57:05.319 --> 57:06.403 Enough! 57:07.404 --> 57:08.781 Stop running. 57:09.281 --> 57:11.616 - I'm tired. Hand it over. -Wait, wait, wait. 57:11.617 --> 57:13.743 Okay, don't shoot. We can work this out. 57:13.744 --> 57:15.955 No, no, no. There's nothing to work out. 57:16.914 --> 57:19.457 - Goodbye, Gail Daughtry. - No, no, no. 57:29.260 --> 57:31.095 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 57:31.929 --> 57:33.096 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. 57:33.097 --> 57:36.517 The metal plate in my head saved my life. 57:37.101 --> 57:38.936 - Who are these people? -Get back here. 57:41.188 --> 57:42.438 Oh! 57:42.439 --> 57:43.565 Niccolo. 57:44.024 --> 57:48.152 Niccolo. Oh, no. Niccolo. 57:48.153 --> 57:49.862 It was an accident, I swear. 57:49.863 --> 57:50.947 I don't know how it happened. 57:50.948 --> 57:53.284 - I'm so, so, so sorry. - You. 57:54.034 --> 57:56.620 You know what? I can cause accidents, too. 57:57.413 --> 57:59.580 Get ready to burn in... 57:59.581 --> 58:00.748 Oh! 58:00.749 --> 58:03.126 You mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 58:03.127 --> 58:04.837 Literally. 58:08.882 --> 58:11.217 That's the Fontaine 3XL, isn't it? 58:11.218 --> 58:13.052 Yes. They are. 58:13.053 --> 58:16.055 You know, they say that dog is a man's best friend? Yeah? 58:16.056 --> 58:17.223 -Yeah. - I say this too, 58:17.224 --> 58:20.518 but this curling iron is also a very good friend of... 58:20.519 --> 58:22.353 Oh! 58:22.354 --> 58:24.273 Oh! 58:25.482 --> 58:27.191 Give me that. 58:30.070 --> 58:31.989 Go, go, go! Let's go! 58:33.490 --> 58:35.033 Hey, sorry, we got held up a little bit... 58:35.034 --> 58:36.076 Whoa. Oh. 58:37.661 --> 58:39.997 This is a classic case of two guys on the ground. 58:53.010 --> 58:55.553 Where are we? Who are you? What do you want from us? 58:55.554 --> 58:57.805 - Wait. No, no, no. Please, come back. - No, no, no, come back. Come back! 58:57.806 --> 58:59.516 Come back! 59:00.434 --> 59:03.019 - What, are they gonna kill us? - I don't know. I don't want to die. 59:03.020 --> 59:04.313 Me neither. 59:05.314 --> 59:07.023 Wait. Otto. 59:07.024 --> 59:08.025 Yeah? 59:08.525 --> 59:09.610 I just remembered... 59:10.361 --> 59:13.071 - I can pop my ankle out. - Huh? 59:13.072 --> 59:15.073 - Okay, do it. Do it. - Okay. 59:17.326 --> 59:19.161 - Did you do it? - Yeah. 59:20.996 --> 59:23.706 But it didn't achieve anything, so I'm gonna pop it back in, okay? 59:23.707 --> 59:25.500 - Okay. Yeah. Pop it back in. Do it. - It hurts. 59:25.501 --> 59:26.751 Ow. 59:27.920 --> 59:29.504 Oh, Gail. 59:29.505 --> 59:31.881 I'm so sorry I talked you into coming to Los Angeles with me. 59:31.882 --> 59:33.549 Otto, don't do that. 59:33.550 --> 59:38.262 You've been my most consistent, my most loving, loyal friend 59:38.263 --> 59:40.599 ever since my parents' double suicide. 59:41.558 --> 59:43.393 And as I've said to you before, you know, 59:43.394 --> 59:46.813 I could never presume to understand what it is you've gone through. 59:46.814 --> 59:49.441 I mean, to find your mother and father in your bed like that. 59:50.192 --> 59:52.485 - And on your birthday, no less. - Yeah. 59:52.486 --> 59:56.365 But all I can do is be your friend. 59:57.449 --> 59:58.450 No matter what. 59:59.243 --> 01:00:00.244 Until the end. 01:00:03.038 --> 01:00:04.872 Gail Daughtry. 01:00:04.873 --> 01:00:06.791 Hairdresser. 01:00:06.792 --> 01:00:08.043 Finally, we meet. 01:00:08.544 --> 01:00:13.173 Flawless face to flawless face. 01:00:14.383 --> 01:00:15.384 Who are you? 01:00:16.093 --> 01:00:17.718 Where are we? 01:00:17.719 --> 01:00:23.057 Perhaps you recognize this saloon from the movie Blood on the Wagon. 01:00:23.058 --> 01:00:26.727 I'm sorry, I don't. I'm more into, like, black-and-white Holocaust shit. 01:00:26.728 --> 01:00:28.062 Abandoned years ago. 01:00:28.063 --> 01:00:30.481 A ghost town movie set. 01:00:30.482 --> 01:00:34.694 The irony of building the New World financial order 01:00:34.695 --> 01:00:39.073 from the ruins of fake American mythology... 01:00:39.074 --> 01:00:40.826 makes me so hard. 01:00:41.452 --> 01:00:45.788 At first, I thought you were a hired operative. But no. 01:00:45.789 --> 01:00:46.706 Mm-mmm. 01:00:46.707 --> 01:00:50.877 You are just a girl from Kansas that showed up in my city 01:00:50.878 --> 01:00:52.879 trying to do I don't know what. 01:00:52.880 --> 01:00:54.338 Have sex with Jon Hamm. 01:00:54.339 --> 01:00:56.174 Oh, like a celebrity pass thing? 01:00:56.175 --> 01:00:57.967 -Exactly. - Good luck with that. 01:00:57.968 --> 01:00:59.970 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 01:01:00.804 --> 01:01:01.804 - Kill her. - Mm-hmm. 01:01:01.805 --> 01:01:02.722 Wait, what? 01:01:02.723 --> 01:01:04.183 What did she just say? 01:01:04.933 --> 01:01:08.352 - And her little friend, too. - No, no, no, no, no, please. 01:01:08.353 --> 01:01:10.063 Let's do this. Please, not Otto! 01:01:16.862 --> 01:01:18.322 Stop! 01:01:19.281 --> 01:01:21.450 Who the fuck is Remy Fontaine? 01:01:25.537 --> 01:01:28.956 He's king of the whip curl. 01:01:28.957 --> 01:01:30.249 And then I said to him, 01:01:30.250 --> 01:01:32.961 "Uh, if you mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 01:01:33.545 --> 01:01:36.548 "Uh, literally." It just... It just seemed like something to say. 01:01:37.549 --> 01:01:38.591 A catchphrase. 01:01:40.135 --> 01:01:41.302 Hello? 01:01:41.303 --> 01:01:44.430 Your friends tell me you have something that is mine. 01:01:44.431 --> 01:01:46.140 Who is this? What friends? 01:01:46.141 --> 01:01:49.477 Is this like camp friends? Is this Lieberman? 01:01:49.478 --> 01:01:51.354 Caleb, do whatever she says. She's gonna kill us. 01:01:51.355 --> 01:01:53.606 Lieberman, I swear to God, if this is one of your bits 01:01:53.607 --> 01:01:56.150 it's not even that funny because I actually have some friends 01:01:56.151 --> 01:01:59.278 - who are in legitimate danger right now. - Caleb, it's Gail! 01:01:59.279 --> 01:02:03.115 Bring my reports to 25933 01:02:03.116 --> 01:02:09.081 Sand Canyon Way, Santa Clarita, California, 91387. 01:02:09.706 --> 01:02:11.832 And bring them within the hour. 01:02:11.833 --> 01:02:14.753 If not, your friends will die! 01:02:16.588 --> 01:02:20.091 Well, either Lieberman's upped his game dramatically, 01:02:20.092 --> 01:02:22.843 or Gail and Otto are in really significant danger. 01:02:22.844 --> 01:02:25.221 - We have to go to that address. - Hey, wait. 01:02:25.222 --> 01:02:26.305 Who are we kidding? 01:02:26.306 --> 01:02:28.641 They're not gonna let us just stroll in there, 01:02:28.642 --> 01:02:30.977 save our friends, and then stroll right back out. 01:02:30.978 --> 01:02:33.438 Come on, let's face it. They're... 01:02:33.897 --> 01:02:35.190 They're dead already. 01:02:37.150 --> 01:02:38.652 Vincent. Hey, hey, hey. 01:02:39.778 --> 01:02:40.779 Why is this here? 01:02:41.196 --> 01:02:43.573 It's just a roll of film, man. 01:02:43.574 --> 01:02:46.200 - Why is this in here? - It's just a roll of film. 01:02:46.201 --> 01:02:47.994 - Why is this in here? - It's a roll of film! 01:02:47.995 --> 01:02:49.745 - Why is it in here? - It is a roll of film! 01:02:49.746 --> 01:02:51.622 - Vincent! - Okay, it's there to remind me 01:02:51.623 --> 01:02:54.126 to never leave what's important behind! 01:02:58.213 --> 01:03:00.424 - Let's go save our friends. - Wet's woll. 01:03:01.133 --> 01:03:02.550 Hey, can I go? 01:03:02.551 --> 01:03:05.052 'Cause if I don't finish my show, I'm out $600. 01:03:05.053 --> 01:03:06.680 -Sir, you need to calm down. - No, no... 01:03:14.563 --> 01:03:15.896 I know this place. 01:03:15.897 --> 01:03:17.690 We shot an episode of Love Boat here. 01:03:17.691 --> 01:03:18.941 Really? Here? 01:03:18.942 --> 01:03:20.610 It was a bottle episode. 01:03:20.611 --> 01:03:21.819 Wait, how old are you? 01:03:22.904 --> 01:03:24.030 You guys hear that? What the heck? 01:03:24.031 --> 01:03:27.033 - Otto! -Gail! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 01:03:27.034 --> 01:03:28.159 Thank God you're okay. 01:03:28.160 --> 01:03:29.828 I got it. 01:03:30.412 --> 01:03:31.622 Thank you. 01:03:32.289 --> 01:03:33.456 Oh, thank God. 01:03:33.457 --> 01:03:35.250 - Hi. Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. 01:03:37.961 --> 01:03:39.838 -Hey. - Hi. 01:03:46.678 --> 01:03:48.304 My reports, please. 01:03:48.305 --> 01:03:49.388 The reports are... 01:03:49.389 --> 01:03:54.435 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses, Slattery. Everybody hold your horses. 01:03:54.436 --> 01:03:56.187 We got the reports. They're close by. 01:03:56.188 --> 01:03:59.357 But first, we're gonna need some assurance that we're getting out of here alive. 01:03:59.358 --> 01:04:01.692 What? You don't trust me? 01:04:01.693 --> 01:04:03.486 Lady, I trust in three things only. 01:04:03.487 --> 01:04:05.529 My mommy, death, and taxes. 01:04:05.530 --> 01:04:07.365 And last I checked, I'm still alive. 01:04:07.366 --> 01:04:09.450 I use TurboTax, and nobody here's breastfeeding me. 01:04:09.451 --> 01:04:13.329 So, yeah, we got a couple of requests on our end. 01:04:13.330 --> 01:04:15.623 You are in no position to bargain. 01:04:15.624 --> 01:04:17.124 We see things a little bit differently, 01:04:17.125 --> 01:04:19.418 because it seems to us that without those documents, 01:04:19.419 --> 01:04:21.003 you don't have what you want. 01:04:21.004 --> 01:04:24.840 And it seems to me that the only people who know where the documents are is us. 01:04:24.841 --> 01:04:28.762 So it seems like right now you need us alive. 01:04:30.972 --> 01:04:32.056 What do you want? 01:04:32.057 --> 01:04:34.850 You tell your goon boys to drop their guns and leave us alone. 01:04:34.851 --> 01:04:38.105 We walk out of here unscathed. You get your documents. It's a win-win. 01:04:41.817 --> 01:04:42.818 Okay. 01:04:44.152 --> 01:04:46.988 Everybody, put your guns in the trash and take a break. 01:04:48.657 --> 01:04:49.908 Happy now? 01:04:53.745 --> 01:04:56.122 Well, I feel like they did everything that we asked for. 01:04:56.123 --> 01:04:58.249 They put the guns in the trash... They gave something, 01:04:58.250 --> 01:04:59.458 - we need to give something. - You guys wanna take a vote? 01:04:59.459 --> 01:05:00.543 Yeah. We all in? 01:05:00.544 --> 01:05:01.836 - Vincent? - Okay. 01:05:01.837 --> 01:05:02.921 Give her the reports. Yeah. 01:05:05.048 --> 01:05:07.718 Here we go. 01:05:09.344 --> 01:05:10.512 Right there. One more. 01:05:12.431 --> 01:05:14.807 These are... Yeah, right there. There you are. 01:05:14.808 --> 01:05:16.434 - And we have one more. One more. -Do you need help? 01:05:16.435 --> 01:05:18.019 - Gail, give me a hand? - Yeah, sure. 01:05:18.979 --> 01:05:21.940 -Okay. - Right there. And one more. 01:05:22.691 --> 01:05:24.608 One more. Come on. 01:05:24.609 --> 01:05:27.070 There it is. And one more, one more. 01:05:34.578 --> 01:05:36.579 Well, that's that. 01:05:36.580 --> 01:05:38.914 - So much for our movie pitch. - At least we're alive. 01:05:38.915 --> 01:05:40.791 Hey, Caleb, you are quite a negotiator. 01:05:40.792 --> 01:05:42.084 - Yeah. - Wow. 01:05:42.085 --> 01:05:43.961 It's all here. 01:05:43.962 --> 01:05:45.171 Hey. 01:05:45.172 --> 01:05:47.631 - Kill them. -Wait, what? 01:05:47.632 --> 01:05:49.383 Wait, wait, wait... No, no, no, no, no. 01:05:49.384 --> 01:05:50.801 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 01:05:50.802 --> 01:05:52.595 We should have anticipated that they'd come back 01:05:52.596 --> 01:05:53.679 and get their guns again. 01:05:53.680 --> 01:05:55.890 Yeah. Don't blame yourself. I missed it, too. 01:05:55.891 --> 01:05:58.184 These guys are professional killers, right? 01:05:58.185 --> 01:05:59.560 - We both missed it. -We all missed it. 01:05:59.561 --> 01:06:01.353 -Yeah. - I'm kicking myself now. 01:06:01.354 --> 01:06:02.772 It was right in my face. 01:06:02.773 --> 01:06:04.565 Hey, Slattery, now would be a good time to pull off 01:06:04.566 --> 01:06:05.649 some of those moves. 01:06:05.650 --> 01:06:07.067 I told you, I can't... I can't do it. 01:06:07.068 --> 01:06:08.652 Real violence makes me throw up. 01:06:08.653 --> 01:06:13.574 John, no flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris. 01:06:13.575 --> 01:06:15.994 - What? - Orville Wright said that. 01:06:16.828 --> 01:06:18.455 Now, do you understand what I'm saying? 01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:20.539 Yeah. 01:06:20.540 --> 01:06:21.833 Yeah, I understand. 01:06:22.918 --> 01:06:24.293 Stand back, everybody. 01:06:24.294 --> 01:06:25.836 - I got this. -Okay. 01:06:25.837 --> 01:06:27.880 Fellas, fellas. 01:06:27.881 --> 01:06:29.965 Nobody wants to get hurt, right? 01:06:29.966 --> 01:06:31.675 So why don't we just handle it like this? 01:06:35.555 --> 01:06:36.889 Whoa! 01:06:38.433 --> 01:06:39.810 Hi-yah! 01:06:41.937 --> 01:06:43.897 - Hey, hey, hey. - Not bad, right? 01:06:45.690 --> 01:06:47.818 Hey, boys. Come on! 01:06:50.237 --> 01:06:51.321 Take that. 01:06:52.280 --> 01:06:54.281 Too slow. 01:06:54.282 --> 01:06:55.950 - Good job. -Nope. 01:06:59.246 --> 01:07:01.665 What the fuck? 01:07:02.249 --> 01:07:03.499 Consider that a divorce. 01:07:03.500 --> 01:07:05.794 - Hey, you're mine! -You want some, too, baldy? 01:07:06.419 --> 01:07:07.878 Take that. 01:07:07.879 --> 01:07:09.589 This is fun. I can do this all day. 01:07:10.882 --> 01:07:12.174 Got your eye, motherfucker. 01:07:13.176 --> 01:07:14.052 Ooh! 01:07:14.636 --> 01:07:16.136 Going up, motherfucker. 01:07:16.137 --> 01:07:17.304 I got you, asshole! 01:07:21.268 --> 01:07:23.143 Down goes Frazier. 01:07:23.144 --> 01:07:24.478 Slattery, you old son of a bitch. 01:07:26.648 --> 01:07:27.565 Oh! 01:07:27.566 --> 01:07:29.276 Still got it. 01:07:30.151 --> 01:07:32.444 This is for Nico and Marco 01:07:32.445 --> 01:07:34.196 and all the unnecessary agita you caused me 01:07:34.197 --> 01:07:35.698 over the last 11 and a half hours. 01:07:35.699 --> 01:07:37.157 - No, no, no, no. - You kill my friends, 01:07:37.158 --> 01:07:39.326 I kill your friends. Bye-bye. 01:07:39.327 --> 01:07:41.328 No, no, no, no. Please, please. 01:07:41.329 --> 01:07:42.329 Huh? 01:07:46.167 --> 01:07:48.086 Stings. 01:07:55.302 --> 01:07:57.052 - Whoops. - Let's face it. 01:07:57.053 --> 01:07:59.138 You can pack quite a punch. "Let's face it." 01:08:00.682 --> 01:08:01.599 Wow. 01:08:01.600 --> 01:08:02.850 Where did you learn that, man? 01:08:02.851 --> 01:08:05.520 I'm self-taught. Totally self-taught. 01:08:06.104 --> 01:08:08.856 - I have a practice head in my garage. -Did you see that? He saved my life. 01:08:08.857 --> 01:08:10.649 - I gotta tell you... -Unreal. 01:08:10.650 --> 01:08:11.984 Oh, shit. 01:08:17.657 --> 01:08:18.533 Ding-ding. 01:08:19.367 --> 01:08:21.201 Round two, motherfuckers. 01:08:21.202 --> 01:08:22.662 I'll take 'em one by one. 01:08:32.380 --> 01:08:34.798 Wow, I thought that was gonna take much more time and energy. 01:08:34.799 --> 01:08:36.717 Yeah, you know, we just picked up those dead guys' guns. 01:08:36.718 --> 01:08:38.344 - We just went for it. - Improvised a little. 01:08:38.345 --> 01:08:39.428 The guns make it easier. 01:08:39.429 --> 01:08:40.721 I've never shot a gun before in my life. 01:08:40.722 --> 01:08:42.432 -Thank you. - I would have never guessed. 01:08:43.725 --> 01:08:45.477 - Damn it. - Get her! 01:08:53.318 --> 01:08:54.777 - Tom? I have to call you back. -Gail. 01:08:54.778 --> 01:08:56.070 I was able to extend the deposit. 01:08:56.071 --> 01:08:58.322 We'll talk about this later. I'm literally in the middle of a thing. 01:08:58.323 --> 01:08:59.406 I have to call you back. 01:08:59.407 --> 01:09:01.033 Are you on a treadmill right now? 01:09:08.875 --> 01:09:10.043 Get back here! 01:09:15.590 --> 01:09:20.177 Hey, give us one good reason why we shouldn't kill you... right now. 01:09:20.178 --> 01:09:22.846 - I have very powerful friends. - Uh-huh. 01:09:22.847 --> 01:09:24.431 - We can make a deal. -Like what? 01:09:24.432 --> 01:09:25.892 Let me explain. 01:09:26.768 --> 01:09:28.227 - What do you guys think? -Yeah, yeah. 01:09:28.228 --> 01:09:29.520 - Yeah, give her a shot. - You sure? 01:09:29.521 --> 01:09:30.814 -Yeah. - Yeah, let her explain. Let her explain. 01:09:32.482 --> 01:09:35.317 - We're listening. - Okay. What if... 01:09:35.318 --> 01:09:36.735 Caleb! 01:09:36.736 --> 01:09:39.113 We just said that we would listen to what she has to say. 01:09:39.114 --> 01:09:41.407 I'm sorry. It's the adrenaline. I just had to do it. 01:09:41.408 --> 01:09:43.784 Okay. Continue, uh... 01:09:43.785 --> 01:09:46.286 - Ludovica. - That is so pretty. 01:09:46.287 --> 01:09:47.663 - Thank you. -I've never heard that... 01:09:47.664 --> 01:09:48.706 Vincent. What did I just say? 01:09:48.707 --> 01:09:51.083 I know, but you saw what they tried to do to us back there. 01:09:51.084 --> 01:09:53.627 - She tried to kill us all. - We said that we would at least listen 01:09:53.628 --> 01:09:55.337 to what she has to propose... 01:09:55.338 --> 01:09:58.173 - Guys, what is going on? - Why don't they listen to you? 01:09:58.174 --> 01:09:59.633 Ludovica, just let me... 01:09:59.634 --> 01:10:02.219 You're already on thin ice, so just shut up for a second, okay? 01:10:02.220 --> 01:10:04.013 - Otto, don't hit her. - Yeah? Sorry. Yeah. 01:10:04.014 --> 01:10:05.097 - Slattery. - What? 01:10:05.098 --> 01:10:06.849 Do you need to get one in before we can listen to what she has to say? 01:10:06.850 --> 01:10:08.600 No. I'm good. I got all mine out back there. 01:10:08.601 --> 01:10:10.144 Okay. Everybody chill? 01:10:10.145 --> 01:10:12.062 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm super chill. Super chill. 01:10:12.063 --> 01:10:13.480 - Ludovica. - Yes? 01:10:13.481 --> 01:10:16.568 - The floor is yours. - Really? Now? 01:10:17.360 --> 01:10:21.280 - Okay? So, if you let me go... - Oh! 01:10:21.281 --> 01:10:23.658 Guys, what in the actual fuck? 01:10:31.166 --> 01:10:32.333 You're all out. 01:10:34.419 --> 01:10:36.170 Wait. Wait. 01:10:44.137 --> 01:10:46.431 Huh? You like that? 01:10:56.608 --> 01:11:00.360 All right, all right. All right, you did it. You're good. 01:11:04.074 --> 01:11:05.992 - Oh, my God. -Gail. 01:11:06.951 --> 01:11:08.327 She said, "Wait." Why did you... 01:11:08.328 --> 01:11:10.287 I got swept up in it, too. What can I say? 01:11:10.288 --> 01:11:13.290 I'm human. I'm not perfect. 01:11:13.291 --> 01:11:15.793 Of course. Of course. No, we're not judging. 01:11:15.794 --> 01:11:17.003 Jeez. 01:11:18.838 --> 01:11:20.548 Let's finish what we started, huh? 01:11:23.635 --> 01:11:25.219 - You guys ready? -Yes! 01:11:25.220 --> 01:11:26.512 You got all the paperwork? 01:11:26.513 --> 01:11:28.597 Wow, that instant stain remover pen really works. 01:11:28.598 --> 01:11:29.599 -Doesn't it? - Yeah. 01:11:31.684 --> 01:11:34.061 You're back. I like you guys, 01:11:34.062 --> 01:11:35.813 but if you keep coming here with nothing to offer, 01:11:35.814 --> 01:11:37.773 I'm professionally obligated to make you sick. 01:11:37.774 --> 01:11:39.150 We have a movie pitch for Jon Hamm. 01:11:39.692 --> 01:11:41.777 What's it about? Lay it down in two minutes or less. 01:11:41.778 --> 01:11:43.862 Well, Terrence, I could give you the old verbal pitch. 01:11:43.863 --> 01:11:45.739 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 01:11:45.740 --> 01:11:48.742 because sometimes, a giant stack of loose paperwork 01:11:48.743 --> 01:11:50.411 is worth a thousand pitches. 01:11:52.330 --> 01:11:54.415 - Is this blood on here? - Yeah. 01:11:55.250 --> 01:11:56.542 Do you want to explain where it came from? 01:11:56.543 --> 01:11:57.544 No. 01:11:58.169 --> 01:11:59.170 Okay. 01:12:06.469 --> 01:12:07.595 Wow. 01:12:08.346 --> 01:12:11.431 This is the kind of part Jon Hamm would destroy. 01:12:11.432 --> 01:12:13.767 Yes! 01:12:13.768 --> 01:12:16.854 I think it's finally time for you to meet Mr. Hamm. 01:12:34.372 --> 01:12:36.498 Hey. I'm Jon. What's up? 01:12:36.499 --> 01:12:39.418 Wow. It is such an honor to meet you. 01:12:39.419 --> 01:12:41.504 My name is Gail, and these are my friends. 01:12:42.505 --> 01:12:46.550 - Otto, Caleb, Vincent and... - Slat-man! I owe you a text. 01:12:46.551 --> 01:12:48.218 Dude, no worries at all. 01:12:48.219 --> 01:12:49.428 It's all good. 01:12:49.429 --> 01:12:51.972 So, my friend Terrence tells me you guys have a movie to pitch me? 01:12:51.973 --> 01:12:54.224 Yes, we do, and it is a home run. 01:12:54.225 --> 01:12:56.226 Well, it better be, 'cause if it is, 01:12:56.227 --> 01:12:58.312 I will literally do anything for you. 01:12:58.313 --> 01:13:00.272 - I'm gonna hold you to that. -Okay, and, Slattery, 01:13:00.273 --> 01:13:02.316 - you're gonna be co-starring in this? - What? 01:13:02.317 --> 01:13:04.568 Don Draper, Roger Sterling, back together again? 01:13:04.569 --> 01:13:06.069 Yeah! 01:13:06.070 --> 01:13:07.946 I'm gonna have to check my schedule, but yeah. 01:13:07.947 --> 01:13:10.324 Oh, and, Vince here is an excellent writer. 01:13:10.325 --> 01:13:11.700 He's gonna do the screenplay. 01:13:11.701 --> 01:13:14.912 Oh, the all-important scribe. Yes, sir. 01:13:14.913 --> 01:13:18.123 And I assume you are the negotiator? 01:13:18.124 --> 01:13:21.335 Oh, yeah. Well, I worked at CAA but I'm between agencies at the moment. 01:13:21.336 --> 01:13:24.421 Well, not for long, if this thing does what I think it's gonna do, am I right? 01:13:24.422 --> 01:13:26.925 Yeah, he's right about that. 01:13:27.425 --> 01:13:28.592 Now, what about my hair? 01:13:28.593 --> 01:13:30.761 Who's gonna take care of that? Any ideas there? 01:13:30.762 --> 01:13:33.514 Um, you're looking at it. Three years combined experience. 01:13:34.140 --> 01:13:35.850 Perfect. I am psyched. 01:13:36.434 --> 01:13:38.060 Let's hear this pitch. 01:13:38.061 --> 01:13:40.812 Well, listen, Jonny, I'd give the old verbal pitch. 01:13:40.813 --> 01:13:42.439 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 01:13:42.440 --> 01:13:45.192 because sometimes, a binder full of loose paperwork 01:13:45.193 --> 01:13:48.029 - is worth a thousand pitches. - Okay, but I don't want to read it. 01:13:48.655 --> 01:13:50.822 - You... - Just tell me the story. 01:13:50.823 --> 01:13:52.324 Tell you... He wants to hear the story. 01:13:52.325 --> 01:13:53.784 - You want me to go? -Oh, yes, yes, yes. 01:13:53.785 --> 01:13:56.329 What do I say? Guys? Guys... It's a story about espionage. 01:13:56.913 --> 01:13:58.956 Of double identities. 01:13:58.957 --> 01:14:01.583 - A secret global network... - Okay, let me stop you right there 01:14:01.584 --> 01:14:04.712 'cause I think I get the world of this. But where's the heart? 01:14:05.213 --> 01:14:07.547 - The heart? - The heart, the heart. 01:14:07.548 --> 01:14:09.008 That's where your character comes in. 01:14:09.592 --> 01:14:12.135 He's a guy who's been put to the test... 01:14:12.136 --> 01:14:14.721 - Yeah. - Okay? Until he finally realizes 01:14:14.722 --> 01:14:16.723 what it's all about. The people you love. 01:14:16.724 --> 01:14:19.643 Okay, I like that, but I don't want it to be too dumbed down. 01:14:19.644 --> 01:14:21.937 Don't you worry about that. It is the opposite of dumb. 01:14:21.938 --> 01:14:23.563 It blows the lid off the entire genre, 01:14:23.564 --> 01:14:25.565 and it's all centered around a loose pile of paperwork 01:14:25.566 --> 01:14:27.693 that can't fall into the wrong hands or else... 01:14:27.694 --> 01:14:28.819 Get this, Jon. 01:14:28.820 --> 01:14:31.154 - Major clusterfuck. - Clusterfuck. That's smart. 01:14:31.155 --> 01:14:33.407 Okay, so it's smart and it has heart. 01:14:33.408 --> 01:14:34.992 -Yes. - But does it have cojones? 01:14:34.993 --> 01:14:36.868 Oh, buddy, big ones. 01:14:36.869 --> 01:14:42.332 Try this on for size. One man, two fists, killing maybe 20, maybe 30 henchmen. 01:14:42.333 --> 01:14:44.209 I don't know, it felt like the same eight guys 01:14:44.210 --> 01:14:45.460 recycled over and over again. 01:14:45.461 --> 01:14:47.921 But real life. Raw. Uncensored. 01:14:47.922 --> 01:14:50.632 - Physical. Visceral. - I'm getting goosebumps. 01:14:51.759 --> 01:14:54.345 - This is crazy. This has got balls! -Yes! 01:14:56.139 --> 01:14:57.140 Yeah. 01:14:57.932 --> 01:14:58.933 Pass. 01:15:00.685 --> 01:15:01.977 - What? - What? 01:15:01.978 --> 01:15:04.313 Yeah. Respectfully, I'm gonna pass on this. 01:15:04.314 --> 01:15:08.066 But thank you guys for coming by. What fun. I gotta jump on a Zoom, so... 01:15:08.067 --> 01:15:09.735 Wait, wait, wait. That's it? 01:15:09.736 --> 01:15:11.737 What don't you like? Because we're not married to anything. 01:15:11.738 --> 01:15:14.323 - Yeah, we can change anything. - Literally everything. 01:15:14.324 --> 01:15:16.783 No. Yeah, no, no, I'm just not feeling it at all. 01:15:16.784 --> 01:15:18.828 So, Terrence is gonna show you out. Thanks again. 01:15:19.787 --> 01:15:21.121 - Fun. - Buddy... 01:15:21.122 --> 01:15:24.207 Oh, hey. Y'all heard him. Everybody out. Everybody out. Let's get out. 01:15:24.208 --> 01:15:27.502 You lost. It happens sometimes. That's... That's the way it is. 01:15:27.503 --> 01:15:28.796 Where's the girl? 01:15:31.007 --> 01:15:32.175 What? 01:15:33.092 --> 01:15:34.177 This isn't a Zoom. 01:15:34.594 --> 01:15:37.054 Oh, shame on you, Jon Hamm. 01:15:37.055 --> 01:15:40.349 We came all this way. We risked our lives to find you. 01:15:40.350 --> 01:15:41.433 And for what? 01:15:41.434 --> 01:15:44.979 You making promises to each of us that you had no intention of keeping. 01:15:45.897 --> 01:15:47.939 You're not the person that I thought you were. 01:15:50.485 --> 01:15:51.736 You're absolutely right. 01:15:54.655 --> 01:15:55.740 The honest truth is... 01:15:56.449 --> 01:15:57.825 I'm just scared. 01:15:59.452 --> 01:16:03.038 - Sorry, Mr. Hamm. She snuck by me... - Terrence, it's okay. Please, please. 01:16:03.039 --> 01:16:04.165 Don't make her sick. 01:16:04.749 --> 01:16:08.211 - He's gonna make you sick, Gail. - Guys, guys, look. 01:16:08.795 --> 01:16:10.921 I made it seem like I could set up your project 01:16:10.922 --> 01:16:13.799 because that's what I thought you wanted to hear. 01:16:13.800 --> 01:16:16.344 But the truth is, you can't do anything for any of us. 01:16:16.928 --> 01:16:18.971 You're just an actor. 01:16:19.931 --> 01:16:21.390 You don't know any more about how to set up 01:16:21.391 --> 01:16:23.810 the nuts and bolts of a movie than any of us do. 01:16:25.436 --> 01:16:27.522 - Isn't that right? - Honestly, yes. 01:16:28.398 --> 01:16:30.775 I'm a grown man, but inside I'm still just a... 01:16:31.484 --> 01:16:32.567 little kid. 01:16:32.568 --> 01:16:36.405 That same awkward wanderer who finally found his place 01:16:36.406 --> 01:16:39.408 when he got cast as Winnie-the-Pooh in first grade. 01:16:39.409 --> 01:16:40.367 Oh. 01:16:40.368 --> 01:16:43.161 My teacher said I was one of the best Poohs of the year. 01:16:43.162 --> 01:16:44.663 I bet you were a great Pooh. 01:16:44.664 --> 01:16:46.957 - That's when I got bit by the acting bug. - Huh. 01:16:46.958 --> 01:16:48.041 And I never got cured. 01:16:48.042 --> 01:16:49.835 In high school, I did a wonderful production of Godspell. 01:16:49.836 --> 01:16:51.963 Let's get to the part about Mad Men. 01:16:53.798 --> 01:16:56.758 Well, Mad Men was a juggernaut beyond my wildest dreams. 01:16:56.759 --> 01:17:01.138 Of all the jobs I did in 2007, it was arguably the most high profile. 01:17:01.139 --> 01:17:03.515 Those were the days. Wall-to-wall trim. 01:17:03.516 --> 01:17:05.976 But then I looked around. People started seeing me differently. 01:17:05.977 --> 01:17:08.186 They started seeing "Jon Hamm," 01:17:08.187 --> 01:17:10.981 the larger-than-life guy with the great jaw 01:17:10.982 --> 01:17:13.025 and the perfect hairline. You know? 01:17:13.526 --> 01:17:15.485 So I guess I just started reflecting back to the public 01:17:15.486 --> 01:17:17.112 what I thought they wanted to see. 01:17:17.113 --> 01:17:20.324 The Jon Hamm they see on the billboards, it's not me. 01:17:20.950 --> 01:17:22.702 I'm just the guy behind the curtain, 01:17:23.703 --> 01:17:25.036 pulling the levers. 01:17:25.037 --> 01:17:27.415 I guess we all came a long way for nothing. 01:17:29.041 --> 01:17:30.877 Sorry to waste your time. 01:17:32.712 --> 01:17:34.088 -Let's go. - Wait, wait. 01:17:35.256 --> 01:17:37.549 I may not be able to help you set up this project, 01:17:37.550 --> 01:17:39.844 but I can do something for you guys. 01:17:41.429 --> 01:17:44.681 Caleb, what if I was to call CAA 01:17:44.682 --> 01:17:48.393 and strongly suggest that they give you your job back? 01:17:48.394 --> 01:17:50.312 - That'd be amazing... - Yes. 01:17:50.313 --> 01:17:53.648 And, Slattery, I got roped into doing my lawyer's kid's student film, 01:17:53.649 --> 01:17:56.276 but I bet I could convince them to give you the job instead. 01:17:56.277 --> 01:17:57.402 Wow. Thanks, man. 01:17:57.403 --> 01:18:00.155 They say that student films are the gateway to bigger stuff sometimes. 01:18:00.156 --> 01:18:01.364 - Vincent? - Yes? 01:18:01.365 --> 01:18:02.867 You wanted to be a screenwriter? 01:18:03.576 --> 01:18:04.577 Well... 01:18:05.828 --> 01:18:07.830 I'm more of a photographer these days. 01:18:08.789 --> 01:18:10.290 Would you mind if I get a shot of you? 01:18:10.291 --> 01:18:11.500 - I'd be honored. - Yeah! 01:18:11.501 --> 01:18:12.752 Something candid? Like this? 01:18:15.463 --> 01:18:18.132 Perfect. 01:18:21.219 --> 01:18:22.220 Just perfect. 01:18:25.223 --> 01:18:27.432 Oh, and, Otto, I have something for you. 01:18:27.433 --> 01:18:30.435 My swag bag from the Movie and Television awards. 01:18:30.436 --> 01:18:32.562 It's got a whole bunch of stuff I will never use, 01:18:32.563 --> 01:18:35.774 including some VIP passes to Magic Mountain. 01:18:36.734 --> 01:18:38.568 Oh, Magic Mountain. I want to go. 01:18:38.569 --> 01:18:40.737 - Thank you. - It's the least I could do. 01:18:40.738 --> 01:18:43.532 - You guys... - Thank you for everything, Jon. I mean... 01:18:43.533 --> 01:18:45.409 Wait, wait. What about Gail? 01:18:46.285 --> 01:18:49.037 She's kind of the whole reason we came here in the first place. 01:18:49.038 --> 01:18:51.706 That's right. What about Gail? 01:18:51.707 --> 01:18:53.501 Yeah. Jon. Do Gail next. 01:18:54.043 --> 01:18:55.336 - Guys. -Oh. 01:18:56.003 --> 01:18:58.672 Gail, what's your dream? 01:18:58.673 --> 01:19:01.801 You wanted to be a hairdresser for the movies, am I right? 01:19:02.552 --> 01:19:03.678 Uh... 01:19:06.639 --> 01:19:08.266 No. 01:19:08.933 --> 01:19:10.268 I actually, um... 01:19:11.978 --> 01:19:13.688 have a different kind of request. 01:19:40.298 --> 01:19:42.424 Hey, we'll let... We'll let you two take it from here. 01:19:42.425 --> 01:19:43.509 Come on. Let's go. Yeah. 01:20:16.417 --> 01:20:17.751 There you go, Mommy. 01:20:17.752 --> 01:20:18.794 I'm back in the game. 01:20:19.295 --> 01:20:20.296 Junior assistant. 01:20:22.715 --> 01:20:25.216 Roll sound. Rolling sound. Speed. 01:20:25.217 --> 01:20:26.635 Boardroom scene. Take seven. 01:20:26.636 --> 01:20:28.261 Marker. Action. 01:20:28.262 --> 01:20:31.806 How many times do I have to tell you guys what's going on around here? 01:20:31.807 --> 01:20:33.433 Yeah. What are you doing? You can't smile... 01:20:33.434 --> 01:20:36.145 Nobody seems to know... Nobody's on the same page. 01:20:40.941 --> 01:20:42.359 Sorry this is 15 years late. 01:20:42.360 --> 01:20:43.401 Wait, what? 01:20:43.402 --> 01:20:45.488 Oh. And by the way... 01:20:47.365 --> 01:20:48.448 I quit. 01:20:48.449 --> 01:20:50.575 I'm sorry, who are you? What is this? 01:20:50.576 --> 01:20:52.662 Debbie, who the fuck did you just let in my office? 01:20:53.287 --> 01:20:56.414 Wait a minute. Ha! That son of a bitch. 01:20:56.415 --> 01:20:58.249 He got his white whale. 01:20:58.250 --> 01:21:00.460 I'll be damned. 01:21:00.461 --> 01:21:02.379 Vincent, you old son of a bitch. 01:21:02.380 --> 01:21:04.631 He's gone. Do you want me to go get him? 01:21:04.632 --> 01:21:07.342 Oh, no. That's okay. I can text him. Just remind me. Put it on the list. 01:21:07.343 --> 01:21:08.885 And this would be regarding... 01:21:08.886 --> 01:21:12.639 Just put "son of a bitch." I'll know what it means. 01:21:15.726 --> 01:21:16.851 I'll know what it means. 01:21:34.161 --> 01:21:35.246 I feel like... 01:21:36.497 --> 01:21:38.541 "I'm floating above the clouds." 01:21:40.835 --> 01:21:44.004 "Chains of yesterday dissolve like morning mist." 01:21:45.506 --> 01:21:47.967 "As I rise on newfound wings, 01:21:48.592 --> 01:21:50.469 "Towards endless blue..." 01:21:51.470 --> 01:21:54.139 - "In cloudscapes pure and bright." - "In cloudscapes pure and bright." 01:21:54.140 --> 01:21:55.557 - "I am made new." - "I am made new." 01:21:55.558 --> 01:21:56.642 What? 01:21:57.351 --> 01:21:59.185 I've never met anyone that knows that poem. 01:21:59.186 --> 01:22:01.438 Who doesn't love J.M. Stansel? 01:22:01.439 --> 01:22:03.441 Are you kidding me? I'm a Stansel junkie. 01:22:05.943 --> 01:22:08.403 I know this sounds crazy, but I could imagine you and me 01:22:08.404 --> 01:22:11.197 - rising on wings toward endless blue. - Mm. 01:22:11.198 --> 01:22:12.783 Wouldn't that be something? 01:22:13.617 --> 01:22:15.369 Some other lifetime, maybe. 01:22:16.078 --> 01:22:17.079 Sure. 01:22:17.830 --> 01:22:19.123 Some other lifetime. 01:22:23.461 --> 01:22:25.504 Jon Hamm. 01:22:26.756 --> 01:22:27.840 Who knew? 01:22:28.799 --> 01:22:30.550 It's too bad you're getting married. 01:22:30.551 --> 01:22:34.263 Because I would love to take you to this magical spot I know in St. Blarts. 01:22:35.556 --> 01:22:38.225 Soomer in St. Blarts sounds incredible. 01:22:39.560 --> 01:22:41.227 I'm so flattered. 01:22:41.228 --> 01:22:44.773 But, yes, I am getting married 01:22:44.774 --> 01:22:47.651 and so I can't go to St. Blarts with you. 01:22:48.486 --> 01:22:49.487 But... 01:22:50.404 --> 01:22:53.573 sincerely, it was so great to fuck you. 01:22:53.574 --> 01:22:55.826 And thanks for everything. 01:22:58.329 --> 01:22:59.830 - Be well. - You too. 01:23:07.880 --> 01:23:09.006 What a day. 01:23:09.924 --> 01:23:12.926 LAX, please. You got it. 01:23:12.927 --> 01:23:14.427 Probably good you're getting out of the city. 01:23:14.428 --> 01:23:16.554 I'm sure you heard about the mess that happened 01:23:16.555 --> 01:23:19.015 at the abandoned movie lot the other night. 01:23:20.142 --> 01:23:21.644 - Go ahead. Go around me. - Uh... 01:23:22.603 --> 01:23:23.853 No, no. I'm... I haven't heard. 01:23:23.854 --> 01:23:25.647 - What happened? - You haven't heard? Oh... 01:23:25.648 --> 01:23:28.358 They found dozens of dead bodies out there. 01:23:28.359 --> 01:23:30.985 It's just impossible to process. 01:23:30.986 --> 01:23:34.030 I mean, nothing like that has ever happened before. 01:23:34.031 --> 01:23:36.533 Hey, sorry, I think I recognize you. 01:23:36.534 --> 01:23:39.035 Are you Elizabeth Perkins, by any chance? 01:23:39.036 --> 01:23:40.328 Yes. 01:23:40.329 --> 01:23:41.664 Hey, there. 01:23:44.959 --> 01:23:46.417 Get over here, Solly. 01:23:46.418 --> 01:23:48.711 The ceremony's gonna start in a few minutes. 01:23:48.712 --> 01:23:50.797 - Do you know what works with bridesmaids? - What? 01:23:50.798 --> 01:23:53.842 A little Slattery flattery. 01:23:53.843 --> 01:23:56.387 How about some... How about some Caleb... 01:24:00.474 --> 01:24:01.558 Okay. 01:24:01.559 --> 01:24:03.810 So, when I tell you you may kiss the bride, 01:24:03.811 --> 01:24:05.353 that's your cue to, uh... 01:24:05.354 --> 01:24:07.522 Well, I'm gonna keep this PG. 01:24:07.523 --> 01:24:09.024 I'm not sure I understand. 01:24:10.067 --> 01:24:12.569 Mm. Nobody rocks a whip curl like my girl. 01:24:14.697 --> 01:24:17.532 Hey, you're still feeling okay about all this, right? 01:24:17.533 --> 01:24:20.535 No. Yeah. Yes, no. No, I am feeling good. 01:24:20.536 --> 01:24:21.703 - You sure? - Yeah. 01:24:21.704 --> 01:24:23.706 I mean, Tom is far from perfect. 01:24:24.957 --> 01:24:26.666 Like, he works too much. 01:24:26.667 --> 01:24:28.626 He drinks a little bit more than I'd like him to. 01:24:28.627 --> 01:24:30.753 He snores so loud. 01:24:30.754 --> 01:24:33.840 He'll never say things like, "Thank you" or "I'm sorry." 01:24:33.841 --> 01:24:36.342 And when I had that full hysterectomy, 01:24:36.343 --> 01:24:39.471 and I really, really needed him to be there for me, 01:24:40.639 --> 01:24:42.056 - he essentially checked out. - Yeah. 01:24:42.057 --> 01:24:44.684 I think it's just about picking your poison. 01:24:44.685 --> 01:24:47.605 And I guess Tom is my poison. 01:24:48.314 --> 01:24:50.189 Make sure you say all that in your vows. 01:24:51.275 --> 01:24:55.946 And now, time for the $64,000 question. 01:24:57.781 --> 01:25:01.659 Gail Elizabeth Daughtry, do you take Tom Soursap McNoodleman 01:25:01.660 --> 01:25:04.746 to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, 01:25:04.747 --> 01:25:06.122 for better or for worse, 01:25:06.123 --> 01:25:09.376 in sickness and in health, till death do you part? 01:25:17.009 --> 01:25:18.093 I... 01:25:19.178 --> 01:25:20.220 Gail? 01:25:27.311 --> 01:25:29.395 No, I... I'm... 01:25:29.396 --> 01:25:31.898 Wow. I'm sorry. I don't want to marry you. 01:25:31.899 --> 01:25:34.068 Oh! Thank God. 01:25:35.319 --> 01:25:38.697 Tom, you have been my whole world. 01:25:39.698 --> 01:25:44.661 But there's a whole universe out there waiting for me to explore. 01:25:44.662 --> 01:25:48.958 There's celebrities, there's fancy hotels and unexpected friendships. 01:25:49.458 --> 01:25:50.459 - Hello. - Hi. 01:25:53.712 --> 01:25:55.089 I don't want to hurt you. 01:25:56.423 --> 01:25:59.009 But I guess I have to, Tom. 01:26:00.052 --> 01:26:01.804 Is this because of the Aniston thing? 01:26:02.388 --> 01:26:05.265 Does it change anything if I told you I only half finished? 01:26:06.558 --> 01:26:09.143 Gail! 01:26:12.773 --> 01:26:15.609 Gail! 01:26:16.443 --> 01:26:17.444 Gail! 01:26:20.239 --> 01:26:21.864 - Gail! - Jon. 01:26:21.865 --> 01:26:23.575 Ooh! 01:26:24.827 --> 01:26:25.828 Jon. 01:26:28.497 --> 01:26:29.956 What are you doing here? 01:26:29.957 --> 01:26:33.084 Gail, you are the only woman I have ever met 01:26:33.085 --> 01:26:36.213 who has made me feel good about being the real me. 01:26:36.797 --> 01:26:39.925 And so I flew 1,400 miles in this balloon to tell you 01:26:40.592 --> 01:26:42.552 I want to be with you. Forever. 01:26:42.553 --> 01:26:44.638 Wow. Jon Hamm... 01:26:45.764 --> 01:26:48.349 I never dreamed that I would see you again. 01:26:48.350 --> 01:26:51.310 But as you can see, I'm just getting out of something. 01:26:51.311 --> 01:26:52.562 Hey, Jon. 01:26:52.563 --> 01:26:56.024 I'm definitely down to hang. Maybe we can keep it casual? 01:26:56.025 --> 01:26:58.484 Oh, totally. Why don't we just keep it loose and freaky? 01:26:58.485 --> 01:26:59.820 Loose and freaky sounds great. 01:27:00.404 --> 01:27:01.405 Get in here. 01:27:08.245 --> 01:27:10.121 Go, Gail, go. 01:27:12.499 --> 01:27:13.500 Yes. 01:27:18.088 --> 01:27:20.214 What the fuck is happening? 01:27:35.314 --> 01:27:39.275 And if you're wondering what happened to Gail and Mr. Hamm... 01:27:39.276 --> 01:27:40.401 I don't know. 01:27:40.402 --> 01:27:43.697 He just picked her up on that balloon, and it's happening right now as we speak. 01:27:44.448 --> 01:27:46.283 I mean, I'm not a fortune teller. 01:27:47.159 --> 01:27:49.786 And if I'm being honest, when did it become my job 01:27:49.787 --> 01:27:52.872 to spoon-feed you every little nuanced point in this story? 01:27:52.873 --> 01:27:54.832 I mean, you're 35 years old, right? 01:27:54.833 --> 01:27:56.835 You can figure out some stuff on your own. 01:27:57.920 --> 01:28:00.213 I mean, to tell you the truth, I got a lot of problems of my own. 01:28:00.214 --> 01:28:01.297 You know, not that you care, 01:28:01.298 --> 01:28:03.508 because for you, it's all just, "Whatever happened to Gail?" 01:28:03.509 --> 01:28:05.134 You know, "Gail, Gail, Gail." 01:28:05.135 --> 01:28:06.260 Because not for nothing, 01:28:06.261 --> 01:28:08.679 I've really been going through a lot of shit, you know? 01:28:08.680 --> 01:28:11.517 Do you have any idea what it's like to have a blood clot in your leg? 01:28:12.101 --> 01:28:14.519 It's a fucking nightmare, that's what it is. 01:28:14.520 --> 01:28:16.938 And then my daughter, I don't want to even get into that shit. 01:28:16.939 --> 01:28:20.191 She hasn't returned my phone calls in eight months. Eight months! 01:28:20.192 --> 01:28:23.486 And then on top of that, there's this whole mishegoss with my roof. 01:28:23.487 --> 01:28:26.697 The roofer, he said $600. Not a fucking penny more. 01:28:26.698 --> 01:28:28.407 And he gave me a bill for double that. 01:28:28.408 --> 01:28:30.952 This guy's a fucking criminal. He should be in jail. 01:28:30.953 --> 01:28:34.705 Do not ever, ever hire Scott Lindhome to do anything in your house. 01:32:00.120 --> 01:32:02.289 Gonna make you all sick. 01:32:04.333 --> 01:32:07.711 I'mma make you all very sick. 01:32:10.213 --> 01:32:13.425 Now get outta here before I change my mind and make you all real sick. 01:32:15.635 --> 01:32:16.719 Enough questions. 01:32:16.720 --> 01:32:20.390 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 01:32:21.350 --> 01:32:22.975 Nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 01:32:22.976 --> 01:32:24.101 No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. 01:32:24.102 --> 01:32:25.228 I just got over something. 01:32:26.438 --> 01:32:28.814 Hey, I'm Scott Lindhome, Scott Lindhome Roofing. 01:32:28.815 --> 01:32:32.318 Look, let me tell you, there are two sides to every story. 01:32:32.319 --> 01:32:35.029 What our friendly neighborhood "mailman" forgets to mention 01:32:35.030 --> 01:32:38.240 is the raccoon infestation living under his shingles. 01:32:38.241 --> 01:32:40.076 God! What? Am I supposed to pay for that? 01:32:40.077 --> 01:32:41.369 Are you out of your mind? 01:32:41.370 --> 01:32:44.747 It's $600 for basic shingle replacement. 01:32:44.748 --> 01:32:47.875 Look. See? "Surprises not included." 01:32:47.876 --> 01:32:52.046 And by the way, $600 barely pays for the fucking nails. 01:32:52.047 --> 01:32:54.840 You don't believe me? You head on down to Home Depot and check for yourself. 01:32:54.841 --> 01:32:56.384 And don't tell me you don't got enough time. 01:32:56.385 --> 01:32:58.969 'Cause I know for a fact you have not had a job since April. 01:32:58.970 --> 01:33:00.971 Maybe I did charge him double, but you know what? 01:33:00.972 --> 01:33:04.518 His fucking roof is gonna be watertight for the next 20 years, okay? 01:33:05.018 --> 01:33:06.019 End of story. 01:33:09.106 --> 01:33:11.565 Jeez. What the shit? 01:33:15.070 --> 01:33:17.405 Hey, Scott, it's Gail Daughtry. 01:33:17.406 --> 01:33:19.698 I probably haven't seen you since my mom and dad's funeral. 01:33:19.699 --> 01:33:20.866 Anyway, crazy story. 01:33:20.867 --> 01:33:22.660 I'm actually up in a hot-air balloon right now, 01:33:22.661 --> 01:33:24.286 and I can see the roof of my house. 01:33:24.287 --> 01:33:26.330 It is looking like it might need some maintenance. 01:33:26.331 --> 01:33:28.249 What do you think? Anyway, no rush. 01:33:28.250 --> 01:33:29.875 Just call me when you can. 01:33:29.876 --> 01:33:32.045 This is Gail Daughtry... and the Celebrity Sex Pass.