WEBVTT

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Aunty Rajni.

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- She just left.
- Yeah.

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Obviously. She's not going
to just believe us, guys.

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You're right.
Until she sees Micky with her own eyes

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fooling and flirting around
with some random girl,

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she's not going to believe us.

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- Exactly.
- So, let's show her.

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How?

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You know what?

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We had seen an amazing web-series once.

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- Listen.
- Yeah.

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What was it called? Do you remember?

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The one where the cusses
were more than the dialogues?

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No, no.

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The web series with the songs,

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where a beautiful girl walks with a swag.

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The way you were walking that day
with a swagger.

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Show us how it's done.

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Yeah! Yeah!

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Yeah.

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Exactly like that!

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Do you all remember now? Do you remember?

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In that show, there were 18 actresses,
in a market.

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While selling cucumbers,
they perform Kathak dance.

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And they even sing along with it.

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What do you call it?
What's that show called?

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<i>- Courtesan's Cucumber.</i>
- Yes!

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<i>Courtesan's Cucumber.</i>

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In that show, one woman,

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to test the loyalty and integrity
of her husband,

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asks a very beautiful actress
to go meet her husband.

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- Why?
- Why?

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So that she can seduce the husband.

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Brilliant, Aunty Rajni! Brilliant!

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Hmm. Actually, it was a brilliant series.

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And in the middle of 319 dance songs,

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occasionally,
there are six-seven dialogues as well.

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- And they're written so well.
- Hmm.

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In the cucumber market,

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wholesale shop owners are useless.

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Instead the street vendors are the bosses.

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Hmm.

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And in that show,
a girl walks barefoot on the ground.

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And the other people are singing.

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<i>Slippers are a fad</i>

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Wow!

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<i>She is roaming bare foot!</i>

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<i>Slippers are a fad</i>
<i>She is roaming bare foot</i>

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Idea!

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This is a brilliant idea, Aunty Rajni.

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Follow me. Honey trap means,
a plan to catch Micky red-handed.

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Listen, Satpute, will the medicine
that you gave me work or not?

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Yes, yes, yes.

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- Yes.
- There! There you go again.

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With your yes, yes, yes and all.

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It's been two hours now,
why hasn't the parasite come out?

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Come, come. Come on, come on.

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The medicine has done its job.
Everything he says will be the truth, sir.

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Now you have to answer

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some of the questions
I ask very truthfully, okay?

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Have you ever secretly
stolen anything from me?

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- Yes, I have.
- Hmm.

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I've stolen this one thing from you.

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But I don't remember what it was.

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Hmm. Okay, so you don't remember
what it was.

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Maybe you stole my sunglasses from me?

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Yuck, yuck, yuck.

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Who would steal
such pathetic duplicate items?

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When you wear those sunglasses
that you bought at the fair,

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you look like a cheap unemployed goon

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who's nothing more than a street thug.

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You see that? He's telling the truth.

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Hmm.

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Then what did you steal from me?

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Hmm? My watch?

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My clothes?

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You think I want to look like
a C-grade movie villain, is it?

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Hmm.

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So you think I look like
a C-grade movie villain, do you?

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- No, no, no, no!
- Hmm.

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You look like
a C-grade villain's furthest henchman.

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He still isn't lying.

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Okay. It's fine.

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All right, then.

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Now try to remember
and tell me what did you steal.

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Hmm, yeah! Now I remember this.
What's this?

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- What are you drinking right now?
- Port wine. What about it?

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This, this is what I stole.

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- I took two sips of it.
- Really?

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I had it straight from the bottle.

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But I didn't like it.

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So I just spat the thing
back into the bottle.

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Don't ever waste food.

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You see this crap
settled down at the bottom?

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It's the betel nut I was chewing.

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He's the lowest scum
of some ghastly decayed bacteria.

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But then,

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he's telling the truth.

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Ah. My dear, Micky.

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Now you'll have to tell me the truth.

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- Sir.
- Hmm? Hmm!

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Baby girl, trust me, I'm telling you,

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this shameless husband
of yours cannot be--

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Daddy, you've started again,
like Hutoxi, Kiran and Priyanka.

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My Mikity-Chikity can never be like that.

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But what if he admits
to all of it himself? Will you believe it?

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Sure, then I'll believe him.

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But for now, focus on my birthday, please.

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25th, isn't it, dear?

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No, this year, it's on the 16th.

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Yes, darling, but it's the 25th, right?

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It's on the 16th this year.
She just told you.

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You shut up.
It's her 25th birthday, isn't it?

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No, but my birthday's on the 16th.

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Correct.

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Leave all the preparations
for your birthday on me.

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Yeah, but, Daddy,
don't spend too much, huh?

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Please don't spend a lot.
Just keep it under 50 lakhs.

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- Fifty lakh rupees?
- All right, fine. One crore.

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- Hi, my peach and plums.
- Oh, hi, Mikity-Chikity.

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- Hi, boys!
- Hi, Twinkle!

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- Hello, Uncle!
- Hello, Uncle. Hey, Vishnusharman!

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- I'm just putting the bag here.
- Cheese Shashlik?

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- Hey, buzz off.
- Cheese corn balls!

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- Yeah! Come on, give it to me.
- Oh! Thank you, Bindu. No, no. Not now.

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- Just keep it over there.
- Just keep it over there.

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- Okay! Okay, now.
- We'll have it later.

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- Listen carefully! Baby girl!
- Yes, uncle.

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Now, listen to what I've planned
for your birthday.

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- Yeah.
- Adi will be making the invitations.

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- Yeah.
- And, Freddy, catering's all you?

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Yeah, absolutely, Uncle.

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And, Dharam?

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All of your comedy show artistes will--

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They'll perform
at the birthday party, right?

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For you, I mean, why are you even asking?
It'll be our pleasure, Uncle.

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Yeah? There's so much
he has done for all of us.

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My God! Don't even ask.

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That day, Uncle Wadia
was bitten by that black dog.

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"Uncle Ravjiani, please come now.
We need to catch a dog."

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- He came immediately to do it.
- It's too much. It's all nothing.

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- And one day someone lost a vest.
- Yeah.

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"Uncle Ravjiani, please find my vest,"
and he immediately started looking for it.

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He tries his best,
although he can't do anything.

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- But then, you are a don unlike another.
- That's right.

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- Look at the man's style.
- That's true, right?

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- And, then--
- I'm just trying to--

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Daddy, tell us all that later.

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Do you guys know something?

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Daddy once gave an injured guy on the road
25 lakh rupees just like that.

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And took him to the hospital.
He was a complete stranger.

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Who was that stranger?

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That same stranger,

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who was the unfortunate victim
of his drunk and driving incident.

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That was nothing.

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Oh, Uncle has paid
many such complete strangers

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ten lakhs each just like that.

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- Yeah, that's true.
- Who were those strangers now?

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Those guys, who had uncle's illegal liquor
and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Yeah, they were about to die.
Uncle does so much for people.

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I was just trying to be
a responsible citizen

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and doing my civic duty.
That's what good people do.

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Don't mention, don't mention it.

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- Ah, birthday party!
- Yes, yes!

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I'll immediately sign the cheques

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for your signing amount and pay you
guys an advance right now. Come on.

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- Get me my cheque book.
- Yeah, I'll get it, I'll get it.

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Hurry up.

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The chequebook
is in the new briefcase, sir.

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Okay, so tell me. What's the combination?

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Uh, brown and black.

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Sir, can't you see that?

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Daddy.

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I'm not asking for the color combination.

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I'm asking, what the combination
for the lock is?

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I don't remember
what the combination number is.

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But, sir, I had written that
combination number in your digital diary.

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Very good. So, where's the digital diary?

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It's inside the briefcase, sir.
Locked away safely.

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- You can open the briefcase and take it.
- But how will you take it out?

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The digital diary
is inside the bag, right?

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I knew this would happen.

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That's why I had written
the combination number

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on a piece of paper as well.

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Ah, very good, very good.
Where's the paper?

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It's locked safely in the briefcase.
We'll have to open it to get it.

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Should I open you up right now?

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Hey!

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Hey! What's wrong with you?
Don't laugh! Okay?

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Huh? Uncle's fairly legal.

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- What do you mean fairly?
- Oh, yeah, sorry. I mean, uncle's serious.

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Listen, relax, relax, Dad.
Pay them the signing amount later.

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They're like family,
aren't you, Dharmendra?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And I've brought something
for you as well.

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- For me?
- Hmm.

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Hmm.

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Just for my dear baby girl.
No fighting or arguing from now. Hmm?

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Total peace. Okay?

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- Really, Dad?
- Hmm.

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Dad, are you feeling all right? Huh?

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We should celebrate this with some sweets!

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Sir, he's asking for it himself.
Should I give him those sweets?

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All right, then.
Get Micky sir some sweets. Yeah?

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- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, come on. Come on.

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You all come with me. Come.
Come, baby girl. Come, come, come. Come.

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No, no, let's go.

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Hi!

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- Hi, Uncle Kuku.
- Has my y-wife come over here?

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Uncle, not a y-wife, an x-wife.

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Yeah, yeah, has she come here?

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All the women are playing cricket
at your place.

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- Oh, cricket?
- Yeah.

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Hey, listen, Uncle Kuku!

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Vishnusharman, it's such
a special occasion.

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- Give Uncle Kuku some sweets as well.
- Huh?

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Yes, Dr. Udwadia? Yes, yes, yes.

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No, no, no, that patient, uh…

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Kuku sir, these aren't for you.
They're made for Micky sir only.

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All these sweets can't just be for Chikki!
Give it!

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But you better not eat them. Okay?

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The sweets are not
what you think they are.

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And now here comes the Yorker!

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- Priyanka!
- Hi!

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Look, look, who's finally back home.

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Jharni, open this for me.
It's not opening.

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Jharni will open it.

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- Guys, hold on. Priyanka.
- Yeah.

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Why don't you first tell us who Alicia is?

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Actually, the thing is--

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Oh, Alicia, that fair looking,
soft and mushy, lissome,

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fish velouté kinda girl?

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Her body is so good, you could keep a pan
on the curvature of her waist

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and fry chicken on it.
That's how hot she is.

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- Exactly like me.
- Huh?

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You know, she's a pageant winner.
Miss Blue Ram from Punjab.

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She has even worked in the movies,
with that social worker type actor.

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To run his kitchen,
he does all those tobacco, alcohol,

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and those online gambling advertisements.

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What's his name? The superstar.

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There are many like that.
Which one amongst them?

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Holdon, hold on.
I'll explain it to Hutoxi. Yeah?

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Okay, Kiran, you tell me.

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What's the exact plan
you have with Alicia?

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- Yeah, I'll tell you.
- Hey, please open the box of sweets.

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Uncle Kuku, we will all eat
these sweets together later.

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But first you all listen
to me carefully, okay?

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- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

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On Sundays, at Micky and Twinkle's house,
they give all their help a day off.

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From morning to evening,
they're busy doing an activity

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that you're all aware
of what it is, right?

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- Yeah.
- What is it?

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Bhangra.

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They send their house helps away
and all day…

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But why do they send the house helps away?

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They should all join in
and do the Bhangra together.

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Uncle Kuku, you come here.

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After getting married,

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what do young married couples
do behind closed doors?

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They pee.

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Not the bathroom door.

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What do they do
behind the closed bedroom door?

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Hmm! They watch TV.

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You hear that? Hmm?
I didn't divorce him for no reason.

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"Can't I live a little for myself?"

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Okay, okay.

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Are you all done with your giggling
and all of that now? Huh?

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Okay, now carefully listen to my plan.

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- Hmm.
- Tell us.

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So we'll send Alicia to--

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- Micky, my son.
- Dad.

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It's so nice to see that you're finally
calling me your son today.

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Now that I'm seeing you up close,

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I realize that everything
that's beautiful about Twinkle,

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she's got it from her mother.

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But her eyes,

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they are the same,

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as Aunty Varsha's eyes.

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Okay, okay, fine.

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Now you tell me this, whatever I ask you,

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you promise you will answer it truthfully?

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Please, go ahead.

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So tell me this,
do you genuinely respect me?

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Oh, I respect you a lot.

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Your style, your swagger
and your dressing sense.

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You should have been
a movie star, you know?

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Sir, but he's lying.

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No, I'm telling the truth.

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You should actually play a kingpin
in a gangster movie.

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Oh, my God!
He's started lying a lot these days.

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And you know what?

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Uh, one second.

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Yes, Dr. Udwadia? Yeah, yeah.

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I'll be with you
on a video call in a minute.

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I'll explain the procedure
on the video call.

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Listen, that patient-- Excuse me.

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That patient requires
our special attention.

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Hey! Come here!

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Why aren't the sweets working on him?

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Yes, sir. I was thinking the same thing.

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Did you mix those medicines properly
in the sweets?

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Yes, sir, I crushed three medicines
into a powder

14:39.225 --> 14:40.705
and mixed it into the sweets.

14:40.785 --> 14:42.425
And I made him swear
that he would eat them for you, sir.

14:42.505 --> 14:43.785
Then?

14:43.865 --> 14:46.705
But then, Micky sir said
it is his no-sugar day. He won't eat it.

14:47.545 --> 14:51.105
Then that Freddy had one and Dharmendra
had one. They both loved it.

14:51.185 --> 14:53.025
One should never waste food.

14:53.105 --> 14:55.265
What? And you're telling me now?

14:55.345 --> 14:58.145
Sir, I had messaged you a long time ago.

14:58.225 --> 15:00.265
But your phone, phone was with me here.

15:00.345 --> 15:01.505
Look at this.

15:01.585 --> 15:03.665
I've even replied to myself. Look here.

15:03.745 --> 15:08.185
See. Okay, my talented
and handsome Vishnusharman.

15:08.265 --> 15:10.545
May you live long, son. Thank you.

15:10.625 --> 15:12.785
Come on, sir. You always forget.

15:12.865 --> 15:14.385
But you don't need to worry.

15:14.465 --> 15:17.465
Freddy must have had those sweets
and he must be telling the truth.

15:17.545 --> 15:21.505
<i>My papa has a little motor car</i>

15:21.585 --> 15:25.465
<i>And my Mamma has a small little garden</i>

15:25.545 --> 15:27.025
Mamma!

15:27.105 --> 15:30.465
<i>My Mamma is going to murder someone</i>

15:31.585 --> 15:35.185
<i>My Hutoxi maybe the unfortunate one</i>

15:35.905 --> 15:37.745
My Hutoxi.

15:37.825 --> 15:42.745
Hutoxi, my Mamma
will murder you very soon.

15:42.825 --> 15:43.825
Murder!

16:01.585 --> 16:04.265
Dharmendra. Dharmendra?

16:04.345 --> 16:06.785
Hey, what are you doing? What's wrong?

16:06.865 --> 16:11.625
Nothing is wrong. I just feel
like singing and dancing a lot today.

16:14.145 --> 16:15.745
- And…
- And?

16:15.825 --> 16:21.425
And I want to reveal
a very big truth to you.

16:21.505 --> 16:22.825
Mmm, mmm…

16:23.865 --> 16:27.185
<i>My dear Mamma</i>
<i>Has a garden full of flowers</i>

16:27.265 --> 16:31.825
<i>My Hutoxi is breathing her final hours</i>

16:31.905 --> 16:33.625
Hutoxi, you're going to be killed.

16:34.945 --> 16:38.865
I have seen it clearly
with my own two ears.

16:38.945 --> 16:43.105
And I've heard it with my eyes. Hutoxi!

16:43.185 --> 16:45.665
Hutoxi!

16:52.785 --> 16:55.225
Will someone tell me
what has happened to him?

16:56.385 --> 16:58.105
Acute encephalitis.

16:59.425 --> 17:02.865
- What is that?
- You know my Uncle Sukhi, he had it.

17:02.945 --> 17:06.305
A deadly parasite had laid eggs
in his brains. A lot of them.

17:06.385 --> 17:09.545
And then from those eggs came out
300 hundred cute little worms.

17:11.545 --> 17:13.385
That's why it's called acute encephalitis.

17:14.505 --> 17:18.065
Then those baby worms started chewing
on his brain like it was corn.

17:19.505 --> 17:21.625
Oh, my God! Did he… did he survive?

17:21.705 --> 17:24.545
Yeah, yeah.
Uncle Sukhi lived for 29 years.

17:24.625 --> 17:26.305
- Oh, thank God!
- In a coma.

17:26.385 --> 17:27.345
Huh?

17:27.425 --> 17:29.745
Just like a vegetable.
You know how a broccoli lives, right?

17:29.825 --> 17:30.905
Priyanka?

17:30.985 --> 17:33.105
He even smiled twice
when parts of the ceiling

17:33.185 --> 17:34.745
fell on his head,
he was smiling like this.

17:34.825 --> 17:37.505
Exactly like that.

17:37.585 --> 17:40.505
Stop talking nonsense, Adi. Dharmendra.

17:40.585 --> 17:42.865
- Dharmendra. Are you okay?
- Are you okay?

17:42.945 --> 17:45.145
- Dharmendra! Are you okay?
- Hey!

17:45.225 --> 17:46.985
Oh! What are you doing?

17:47.065 --> 17:49.345
Hey, Dharmendra, let go. You'll hurt her.

17:49.425 --> 17:52.025
Let her go! What are you doing?
Let her go.

17:52.105 --> 17:54.465
- Dharmendra!
- Huh?

17:56.625 --> 17:58.105
What happened to him?

17:58.185 --> 17:59.785
- The parasite's asleep.
- Huh?

18:00.785 --> 18:02.625
Now wait 29 years.

18:02.705 --> 18:03.945
Twenty--

18:04.025 --> 18:07.145
Dharmendra! Wake up! Dharmendra?

18:07.225 --> 18:08.985
- Dharmendra.
- Dharmendra.

18:09.945 --> 18:11.625
- Hutoxi, my dear. Hutoxi.
- Huh?

18:12.825 --> 18:15.825
- Is Freddy okay?
- Why don't you see for yourself, Uncle?

18:15.905 --> 18:19.305
<i>My Mamma is going to murder someone</i>

18:19.385 --> 18:22.625
<i>My Hutoxi may be the unfortunate one</i>

18:24.305 --> 18:26.905
Freddy sir is really telling the truth.

18:26.985 --> 18:29.225
Your mother-in-law
is surely going to murder you.

18:29.305 --> 18:30.505
Goodbye now.

18:30.585 --> 18:32.385
What "goodbye"? Shut up!

18:32.465 --> 18:34.825
What nonsense, Vishnusharman?
Freddy, look at me!

18:34.905 --> 18:36.705
Sit down!

18:38.145 --> 18:40.425
Sit down, sit down,
sit down, sit down, sit down.

18:42.185 --> 18:43.665
- Freddy?
- Hutoxi…

18:43.745 --> 18:46.065
- Yeah?
- …is about to be killed.

18:46.145 --> 18:48.025
Listen, okay, look at me.
Look at me. Okay.

18:48.105 --> 18:51.505
I know your Mamma gives all the witches
a run for their money.

18:51.585 --> 18:54.625
And the witches coven often goes out
to protest against a woman

18:54.705 --> 18:57.105
being a bigger witch
than all of them. Yeah.

18:57.185 --> 18:59.505
And people put up signs
outside their houses saying,

18:59.585 --> 19:02.425
"Oh, God, save us from Gulshan"
in big, bold letters.

19:02.505 --> 19:04.545
- Mamma!
- I know, I know.

19:04.625 --> 19:08.545
But this doesn't really mean
that Mamma is actually going to kill me.

19:08.625 --> 19:09.505
- Right, my love?
- Yes.

19:09.585 --> 19:10.705
Yeah?

19:10.785 --> 19:12.225
So stop singing this song, okay?

19:12.305 --> 19:16.705
Listen, Hutoxi, it's all
because of this idiot, Vishnusharman.

19:16.785 --> 19:18.185
He messed it up.

19:18.265 --> 19:19.425
I requested Freddy sir,

19:19.505 --> 19:22.345
and I requested Dharmendra sir
not to eat them.

19:22.425 --> 19:24.825
And that those sweets are for Micky sir.

19:24.905 --> 19:25.745
So?

19:25.825 --> 19:28.985
But this Aunty Rajni,
I explained everything to her and still…

19:29.065 --> 19:30.705
What?

19:30.785 --> 19:32.745
Did you feed those sweets
to Rajni as well?

19:32.825 --> 19:34.225
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.

19:34.305 --> 19:36.065
What sweets? What are you talking about?

19:36.145 --> 19:38.425
Hutoxi, my dear, these sweets
that these people have had…

19:38.505 --> 19:40.145
- Yeah?
- They had that truth serum.

19:40.225 --> 19:42.505
That drug that makes people
spill the entire truth.

19:42.585 --> 19:45.225
Yeah, that's why
Freddy sir is telling the truth. Yeah.

19:47.625 --> 19:48.985
Murder.

19:49.065 --> 19:53.305
<i>My Mamma is going to murder someone</i>

19:54.705 --> 19:58.425
Which means whatever he is saying
is actually the truth?

19:58.505 --> 20:00.985
- Yeah, that's why I bid you goodbye.
- You scoundrel.

20:01.065 --> 20:02.585
That is correct.

20:02.665 --> 20:04.625
Mamma will get me married to someone else.

20:04.705 --> 20:06.905
- I'm going to become a widower.
- You scoundrel.

20:06.985 --> 20:08.425
You filthy bacteria's twin brother!

20:08.505 --> 20:11.665
God knows what truth Rajni and Dharmendra
may be spilling over there.

20:17.025 --> 20:19.585
We actually know everything, Dharmendra.

20:19.665 --> 20:21.345
But why did you have
to hide this from Kiran?

20:22.665 --> 20:23.825
Hey?
