WEBVTT 00:00:48.945 --> 00:00:53.265 align:center Why are you so close to me? Move away from me. This feels very congested. 00:00:53.865 --> 00:00:55.945 align:center - Hey, hey, hey! Hey! - Oh, oh, oh, oh! Brother! 00:00:56.025 --> 00:00:57.145 align:center Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Oh, my God! 00:00:57.225 --> 00:01:00.545 align:center - Parking in the middle of the road! - Uncle, uncle. Relax. 00:01:00.625 --> 00:01:01.465 align:center You should look before you cross the road, Uncle. 00:01:01.545 --> 00:01:04.505 align:center I was looking at my phone while crossing the road. 00:01:04.585 --> 00:01:07.265 align:center No, no, not the phone. You should have looked right and left 00:01:07.345 --> 00:01:09.985 align:center while crossing the road. This trucker would have hit you and sent you off 00:01:10.065 --> 00:01:10.945 align:center to the heavens. 00:01:11.025 --> 00:01:14.865 align:center Truck can't. Maybe with a plane you could take me to the heavens. 00:01:15.825 --> 00:01:17.825 align:center - I'm a pilot, right? So I know all the - Okay. 00:01:17.905 --> 00:01:18.825 align:center Inside stories. 00:01:19.505 --> 00:01:21.625 align:center Yeah, although instead of Bangalore airport, 00:01:21.705 --> 00:01:22.825 align:center Mangalore. 00:01:22.905 --> 00:01:24.025 align:center Mangalore, yeah. 00:01:24.105 --> 00:01:26.825 align:center I landed my flight at Mangalore airport once. They fired me. 00:01:26.905 --> 00:01:28.905 align:center Landed it. See now, anybody in the world can make 00:01:28.985 --> 00:01:31.985 align:center - such a minor mistake, right? - Yeah, minor mistake. 00:01:32.065 --> 00:01:33.225 align:center Uncle this is still nothing. You know what I did? 00:01:33.305 --> 00:01:36.505 align:center Once a pure non-vegetarian family came, instead of a mutton sandwich, I 00:01:36.585 --> 00:01:38.905 align:center - served them a mushroom sandwich. - Yeah. 00:01:38.985 --> 00:01:41.185 align:center - Did they fire you from your job? - Yeah… 00:01:41.265 --> 00:01:43.145 align:center No. They felt really violated after having a vegetarian sandwich. 00:01:43.225 --> 00:01:44.225 align:center Poor things. Yeah. You know the same thing happened with me the other day. 00:01:44.305 --> 00:01:45.105 align:center No. 00:01:46.545 --> 00:01:47.705 align:center This movie star walks in, right? 00:01:47.785 --> 00:01:50.825 align:center He understand, man. One example is enough. Why is everyone adlibbing 00:01:50.905 --> 00:01:51.905 align:center more dialogue? 00:01:52.665 --> 00:01:56.305 align:center Yes, it's the same. Aunty Rajni must be worried sick for him. We should take him 00:01:56.385 --> 00:01:57.185 align:center home. 00:01:57.265 --> 00:01:58.465 align:center "Bangalore" and "Mangalore", everything's the same! 00:01:58.545 --> 00:02:00.065 align:center Let's just go drop him home. I'll deal with him. 00:02:00.145 --> 00:02:02.545 align:center Aunty Rajni's decision to get a divorce got all the other couples 00:02:02.625 --> 00:02:03.985 align:center thinking about their own marriages again. 00:02:04.065 --> 00:02:08.265 align:center Poor Aunty Rajni. Dharmendra, you should have seen the state she was in. 00:02:08.345 --> 00:02:10.265 align:center Maharashtra? 00:02:10.345 --> 00:02:13.905 align:center By state, I mean condition. Her condition, Newton Oberoi! 00:02:13.985 --> 00:02:18.705 align:center So you should speak clearly, Hutoxi. "Condition." 00:02:19.185 --> 00:02:22.825 align:center Guys! If we don't do anything about this right now, in 15, 20 years, we could 00:02:22.905 --> 00:02:24.585 align:center all be in Aunty Rajni's shoes. 00:02:24.665 --> 00:02:28.745 align:center All? In the same shoes? You mean size five? How? 00:02:28.825 --> 00:02:33.465 align:center Uh, figuratively speaking, Twinkle. I think your brain also needs some 00:02:33.545 --> 00:02:35.465 align:center breakfast. She's talking about our 00:02:35.545 --> 00:02:36.345 align:center Oh! 00:02:36.425 --> 00:02:37.985 align:center - Marriages here. - Yeah, but Kiran, 00:02:38.065 --> 00:02:40.705 align:center there is no problem in our marriage, right? Is this okay? 00:02:40.785 --> 00:02:44.065 align:center See that? The problem in my marriage. More wife than a husband. 00:02:44.145 --> 00:02:48.625 align:center Hmm. You see that? That's my double problem. More witch, less mother-in-law. 00:02:49.345 --> 00:02:52.625 align:center Okay. Aunty Gulshan, I'll need your eyeshadow and your lipstick, as well. 00:02:52.705 --> 00:02:53.505 align:center Yeah. Yeah. 00:02:53.585 --> 00:02:57.665 align:center Yeah, sure. Don't worry. I'll get you the eyeshadow and lipstick. Come. 00:02:57.745 --> 00:02:59.665 align:center Hey! Oh my God, Freddy! What are you doing? 00:02:59.745 --> 00:03:00.545 align:center Mamma! 00:03:00.625 --> 00:03:02.865 align:center Mamma, careful. What if the flame was on right now? 00:03:02.945 --> 00:03:06.465 align:center Why are you doing this? Leave it now. The house keeper is supposed to do this, 00:03:06.545 --> 00:03:07.345 align:center Hey, Hutoxi! 00:03:07.425 --> 00:03:10.225 align:center - Mamma, my sweet Huttu looks like a house - No no, not at all. A real house keeper 00:03:10.305 --> 00:03:12.785 align:center - keeper to you? - actually works very hard. 00:03:14.705 --> 00:03:18.305 align:center She's an aristocrat's sister. She doesn't do any hard physical work. 00:03:18.385 --> 00:03:21.905 align:center - Isn't it, you privileged doll? - But I'm okay doing house work. 00:03:21.985 --> 00:03:24.825 align:center Hey. Leave all this. I will do all of this later. 00:03:24.905 --> 00:03:28.585 align:center You are ranked among the top 50 chefs from around the world. 00:03:28.665 --> 00:03:30.785 align:center Top 50 chefs in Chembur, Mamma! 00:03:30.865 --> 00:03:33.945 align:center Yeah, top 50 chefs. I just got it a little here and there. 00:03:34.025 --> 00:03:35.105 align:center Aunty Gulshan, 00:03:35.905 --> 00:03:39.465 align:center I'm getting late for my shoot. Today is a special episode of Comedy Nights with 00:03:39.545 --> 00:03:40.345 align:center Kunal. 00:03:40.425 --> 00:03:43.425 align:center Yeah, yeah. I'll just get you some of my jewelry and I will touch up your nail 00:03:43.505 --> 00:03:46.465 align:center - paint as well. - Hey, what were we all discussing? 00:03:47.265 --> 00:03:49.225 align:center The problems in our respected married lives. 00:03:49.305 --> 00:03:50.345 align:center What's the problem? 00:03:50.425 --> 00:03:53.145 align:center Micky and I have the most loving married life. 00:03:53.745 --> 00:03:54.545 align:center Guys! 00:03:56.305 --> 00:03:59.865 align:center I just realized that my Micky always only calls me. 00:04:00.545 --> 00:04:04.425 align:center Honeybunch, darling, pumpkin, apple pie, cheesecake. Those are all my 00:04:04.505 --> 00:04:06.065 align:center cutesie names. 00:04:06.825 --> 00:04:08.945 align:center He never addresses me by my own name. 00:04:09.025 --> 00:04:12.745 align:center That's probably because he doesn't remember your name, Twinkle. 00:04:20.625 --> 00:04:22.705 align:center Mickery-Trickery, Handosme Saucery! 00:04:24.785 --> 00:04:26.465 align:center Yes, my two pies, one peach? 00:04:27.665 --> 00:04:28.585 align:center What's my name? 00:04:29.625 --> 00:04:30.865 align:center - Name? - Yes, say it. 00:04:31.505 --> 00:04:32.945 align:center The one that's on your passport? 00:04:33.025 --> 00:04:34.225 align:center Yes, but what is it? 00:04:35.025 --> 00:04:38.745 align:center The same name as on your government ID and marriage certificate. 00:04:38.825 --> 00:04:42.825 align:center I'll show you, one second. What's her name? 00:04:43.545 --> 00:04:44.985 align:center Wait. Stop, right there! 00:04:46.025 --> 00:04:52.185 align:center - Tell me without looking at them. - You know, you can't just suddenly ask 00:04:52.265 --> 00:04:53.945 align:center me. At least give me a hint. 00:04:55.305 --> 00:04:56.145 align:center Just a minute. 00:04:57.145 --> 00:05:01.985 align:center Was it Simple? Simple? Simple is, It was Simple, but what? 00:05:03.465 --> 00:05:05.945 align:center It starts with a "T" and ends with an "E". 00:05:06.465 --> 00:05:07.465 align:center Starts with a "T" 00:05:08.225 --> 00:05:09.465 align:center and ends with an "E"? 00:05:11.665 --> 00:05:12.465 align:center Tom Cruise? 00:05:13.825 --> 00:05:14.625 align:center Twinkle! 00:05:16.185 --> 00:05:18.185 align:center - It's Twinkle. - What happened? 00:05:18.865 --> 00:05:19.985 align:center You were right, Kiran. 00:05:20.065 --> 00:05:23.625 align:center Micky did not remember my name. Hutoxi, I just imagined that. 00:05:23.705 --> 00:05:26.025 align:center She can imagine as well? 00:05:26.105 --> 00:05:26.905 align:center Oh, you rich little braggart! He's not 00:05:26.985 --> 00:05:27.785 align:center We can find out right away. Come with me. 00:05:27.865 --> 00:05:30.505 align:center Going to forget your name so easily. 00:05:31.305 --> 00:05:32.265 align:center Mickety-Tickety! 00:05:33.585 --> 00:05:35.665 align:center Yes, my butterscotch, double scoop? 00:05:36.425 --> 00:05:37.345 align:center What's my name? 00:05:39.105 --> 00:05:40.065 align:center Name as in? 00:05:40.145 --> 00:05:43.625 align:center - The one that's on your passport? - Yeah, and the one that's on the tattoo 00:05:43.705 --> 00:05:45.665 align:center - Tattoo? - Hmm. I've made a tattoo for him. 00:05:45.745 --> 00:05:46.625 align:center Where is it? 00:05:46.705 --> 00:05:48.265 align:center No! I can't tell you that. 00:05:50.185 --> 00:05:51.025 align:center Just a minute. 00:05:51.945 --> 00:05:54.305 align:center Hey, come on, Freddy. It's gonna be fun. 00:05:56.785 --> 00:06:00.465 align:center I have written your name on this little box here, cream puffs. 00:06:02.225 --> 00:06:04.145 align:center Happy first meeting anniversary! 00:06:05.345 --> 00:06:06.145 align:center Do you remember? 00:06:06.225 --> 00:06:08.785 align:center We met for the first time in the hospital. 00:06:09.505 --> 00:06:10.305 align:center Us too. 00:06:10.905 --> 00:06:12.585 align:center - You and I? - Mamma and I. 00:06:14.065 --> 00:06:15.465 align:center The day I was born. 00:06:15.545 --> 00:06:19.905 align:center You walked into my radiology department. And do you remember what you said? 00:06:19.985 --> 00:06:23.905 align:center Excuse me, does this radiology repair only radios or TV's as well? 00:06:24.425 --> 00:06:26.385 align:center Oh my, Miku-Chiku Bathroom Leaku. 00:06:28.465 --> 00:06:30.425 align:center - Bathroom Leaku? - Bathroom Leaku? 00:06:30.505 --> 00:06:32.305 align:center What is in the box? New shoes? 00:06:35.745 --> 00:06:37.025 align:center - Hey, genius! - How? 00:06:37.505 --> 00:06:39.265 align:center No, not you, she. Hey! 00:06:40.185 --> 00:06:42.545 align:center Oh, yeah, of course. He's just a doctor. 00:06:45.185 --> 00:06:46.225 align:center What is it Freddy? 00:06:46.305 --> 00:06:48.745 align:center How can there be shoes in such a small box, Twinkle? 00:06:48.825 --> 00:06:51.505 align:center I know Freddy. How did you fit them in, Miku? 00:06:55.185 --> 00:06:58.545 align:center Oh, come on. There are no shoes in that, Einstein Oberoi! 00:06:59.465 --> 00:07:02.265 align:center - Why don't you open the box and show her? - Yeah. 00:07:02.345 --> 00:07:04.625 align:center Come on. We need to go to Aunty Rajni's place, guys. We need to 00:07:04.705 --> 00:07:07.625 align:center - convince Uncle Kuku, Twinkle! - Convince him for? 00:07:12.545 --> 00:07:15.145 align:center You want to bring up the topic of divorce with Uncle Kuku? 00:07:15.225 --> 00:07:18.905 align:center He loves solving crosswords. So you say, uh, I can't think of a word from 'D'. 00:07:18.985 --> 00:07:22.625 align:center And the moment he says the word 'Divorce' do a Kiran on him and say, 'uh, divorce 00:07:22.705 --> 00:07:23.505 align:center reminds me', 00:07:23.585 --> 00:07:26.585 align:center say it like that and start talking about the divorce. 00:07:26.665 --> 00:07:27.545 align:center Alright. 00:07:29.465 --> 00:07:33.545 align:center I've been using the toilet paper from this side for so many years. 00:07:34.065 --> 00:07:37.345 align:center And now I've figured out that this is the correct side. 00:07:37.425 --> 00:07:40.225 align:center So, do I have to do everything all over again? 00:07:40.305 --> 00:07:42.665 align:center Come on, my dear reptile, say something. 00:07:43.985 --> 00:07:45.585 align:center - Listen. - Isn't it? 00:07:45.665 --> 00:07:47.425 align:center I was solving this crossword, 00:07:48.105 --> 00:07:50.865 align:center so, there's a word from 'D' that I can't figure out. 00:07:50.945 --> 00:07:53.025 align:center Dominating. Dangerous. Dracula. Disrespectful. 00:07:53.105 --> 00:07:54.865 align:center Listen to the clue first. 00:07:54.945 --> 00:07:56.745 align:center At least listen to the clue. 00:07:58.025 --> 00:08:01.585 align:center Uh, you know what is that, uh, you know like, separating. 00:08:03.905 --> 00:08:05.265 align:center To part ways, come on! 00:08:05.345 --> 00:08:06.825 align:center Divide. Disperse. 00:08:07.465 --> 00:08:08.665 align:center Defect. Divorce. 00:08:09.545 --> 00:08:10.385 align:center Divorce? 00:08:10.465 --> 00:08:11.345 align:center Divorce. 00:08:12.025 --> 00:08:14.745 align:center - So, divorce reminds me, - Divorce reminds me-- 00:08:16.785 --> 00:08:19.585 align:center A wife asked her husband for a divorce at the age of seventy. 00:08:19.665 --> 00:08:22.665 align:center The husband had a heart attack and he passed away. 00:08:31.985 --> 00:08:34.585 align:center What? Aunty Rajni didn't even bring up the divorce? 00:08:34.665 --> 00:08:37.945 align:center She can't even hand him a notice, how is she going to actually give him a 00:08:38.025 --> 00:08:38.825 align:center divorce? 00:08:38.905 --> 00:08:39.745 align:center - Hey, Kiran! - God knows. 00:08:39.825 --> 00:08:44.265 align:center You know, due to frustration Rajni's head started getting a splitting headache. 00:08:44.345 --> 00:08:46.585 align:center The poor woman had to go hang herself. 00:08:47.065 --> 00:08:50.505 align:center - Hanged herself? - She took a pill for the headache, Mamma. 00:08:51.505 --> 00:08:53.745 align:center Yeah, I mean, taking a pill or hanging herself-- 00:08:53.825 --> 00:08:57.025 align:center It is not a bit here and there. It's completely different. 00:08:57.105 --> 00:09:00.585 align:center Yesterday she said, an orangutan is drying his hair in the garden. 00:09:00.665 --> 00:09:02.265 align:center Turned out to be Hutoxi. 00:09:02.345 --> 00:09:03.145 align:center Oh! 00:09:05.225 --> 00:09:07.145 align:center Hey, hey, hey! Dharmendra! 00:09:07.225 --> 00:09:08.025 align:center What's wrong? 00:09:08.105 --> 00:09:10.185 align:center Put my lipstick down right now. Put it down! 00:09:10.265 --> 00:09:13.225 align:center You can't you even share your lipstick with your own husband, what 00:09:13.305 --> 00:09:14.265 align:center is your problem? 00:09:14.345 --> 00:09:16.905 align:center He doesn't close them properly. He's ruined all my lipsticks. 00:09:16.985 --> 00:09:19.945 align:center This is not your lipstick, okay? Twinkle gave this to me. 00:09:20.025 --> 00:09:20.825 align:center Oh! 00:09:20.905 --> 00:09:23.985 align:center My dear Twinkle shares all her make up and clothes with me. 00:09:24.065 --> 00:09:27.025 align:center Once I asked her for her skirt because I had this dance piece to shoot for, 00:09:27.105 --> 00:09:28.985 align:center she was so dramatic, "You can't have it." 00:09:29.065 --> 00:09:32.225 align:center Because you ripped it completely. Aunty, you know he even wore my sari 00:09:32.305 --> 00:09:33.105 align:center petticoat. 00:09:33.865 --> 00:09:37.265 align:center Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! The two of you are so awesome together. This is amazing. 00:09:37.345 --> 00:09:40.625 align:center You see, Hutoxi, these are called husband wife problems. 00:09:40.705 --> 00:09:41.625 align:center The two of you should get a divorce. Hey, Kiran. Come, sit here. 00:09:41.705 --> 00:09:42.745 align:center You're so blessed. 00:09:42.825 --> 00:09:45.265 align:center Kiran, my darling, just tell me something. 00:09:45.345 --> 00:09:48.585 align:center When you had gone to see him for the first time, tell me, did he walk in 00:09:48.665 --> 00:09:52.225 align:center like this "chum-chum- chum", holding tea and snacks for you? 00:09:53.265 --> 00:09:54.105 align:center Yeah yeah. 00:09:54.185 --> 00:09:55.705 align:center In fact on our first night, 00:09:55.785 --> 00:09:58.905 align:center we both lifted each other's veils together, like this. 00:09:58.985 --> 00:09:59.945 align:center Both the brides. 00:10:00.025 --> 00:10:04.505 align:center By the way, on our wedding anniversary, he actually came dressed as a woman. 00:10:04.585 --> 00:10:05.385 align:center What? 00:10:05.465 --> 00:10:07.385 align:center Because I had to go back for my shoot, Kiran. 00:10:07.465 --> 00:10:10.225 align:center Yeah, but what kind of husband comes for a candlelight dinner 00:10:10.305 --> 00:10:12.505 align:center - dressed as a courtesan, tell me? - Courtesan? 00:10:12.585 --> 00:10:17.305 align:center - Yeah. Which character was it? Remind me? - Nancy--um, my English negligee Nancy. 00:10:17.385 --> 00:10:18.985 align:center - Uh! - Waiter. 00:10:19.905 --> 00:10:22.345 align:center Would you be kind enough to bring us the menu, please. 00:10:22.425 --> 00:10:25.745 align:center This! Because of this very style that waiter started flirting with him. 00:10:25.825 --> 00:10:28.425 align:center - Obviously! - No, no, no, no. Free champagne. 00:10:28.505 --> 00:10:31.065 align:center Cake and discount coupons, how'd we get them? And why'd we get them? Look 00:10:31.145 --> 00:10:32.105 align:center at the benefits. 00:10:32.185 --> 00:10:35.465 align:center You know, the 20 lakh rupees I get for a shop's opening, is not paid to 00:10:35.545 --> 00:10:37.145 align:center - Dharmendra. - Oh, lord! 00:10:37.225 --> 00:10:38.025 align:center 20 lakhs? 00:10:38.105 --> 00:10:40.585 align:center Yeah, yeah. My comedy characters get paid. 00:10:40.665 --> 00:10:42.385 align:center Aaila Bhatt! Or, 00:10:46.425 --> 00:10:48.785 align:center - Adhoori Dixit. And that Rashmika - Oh! 00:10:48.865 --> 00:10:51.705 align:center Anardana, they get paid. So what do I do? Should I quit "Comedy 00:10:51.785 --> 00:10:54.985 align:center Okay, I agree. But no matter what, you're always dressed up as a woman. 00:10:55.065 --> 00:10:58.225 align:center Nights with Kunal?" Listen, it's an occupational hazard. 00:10:58.305 --> 00:11:00.265 align:center Okay, enough! Enough, guys! 00:11:00.345 --> 00:11:02.745 align:center Okay? Can we focus on Aunty Rajni's problem? 00:11:02.825 --> 00:11:04.025 align:center Yeah, let's do that. 00:11:04.105 --> 00:11:07.305 align:center - Yeah. When I return from my flight - Oh, yeah, yeah, right. 00:11:07.385 --> 00:11:09.745 align:center Tonight, we'll all sit together and talk to Aunty Rajini about this, okay? 00:11:09.825 --> 00:11:11.745 align:center - Thank you. - And we'll also talk to Uncle Kuku. 00:11:11.825 --> 00:11:13.905 align:center - What are you doing? - Sorry, sorry. 00:11:14.905 --> 00:11:16.345 align:center Oh, isn't that my purse? 00:11:17.305 --> 00:11:20.585 align:center Dharmendra. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? How many times have I told you, 00:11:20.665 --> 00:11:24.825 align:center Dharmendra, don't touch my stuff or I'll smash your head into the wall. 00:11:24.905 --> 00:11:25.705 align:center Hey listen. 00:11:25.785 --> 00:11:26.585 align:center Hey, hopeless. 00:11:26.665 --> 00:11:27.465 align:center Yeah, shameless. 00:11:27.545 --> 00:11:30.505 align:center I can't say anything about Rajni and Kuku. But if the two of them 00:11:30.585 --> 00:11:34.385 align:center keep going on like this, they will be getting divorced, for sure. 00:11:34.465 --> 00:11:38.105 align:center But Uncle Kuku, why do you keep making such a mess? 00:11:38.185 --> 00:11:40.945 align:center I accidentally dropped the puffed rice, my dear. 00:11:41.025 --> 00:11:43.625 align:center But Manjari just doesn't want to understand. 00:11:43.705 --> 00:11:44.545 align:center Rajni. 00:11:45.505 --> 00:11:49.105 align:center Manjari, I'm talking about my wife, Quintal. You're so silly. 00:11:49.785 --> 00:11:53.465 align:center Yesterday, I saw a mosquito sitting on her head, so I went to kill that 00:11:53.545 --> 00:11:54.345 align:center mosquito. 00:11:54.425 --> 00:11:57.545 align:center And still "Who kills a mosquito with a mobile phone?" 00:11:58.945 --> 00:12:01.185 align:center "Do you have any common sense at all?" 00:12:02.025 --> 00:12:04.705 align:center That's what she said, loudly In the hospital. 00:12:04.785 --> 00:12:05.785 align:center Uncle Kuku. 00:12:06.905 --> 00:12:10.105 align:center Do you kill mosquitoes with a mobile phone? No, right? 00:12:10.185 --> 00:12:13.505 align:center Didn't I get you that battery operated device the other day? To kill flies and 00:12:13.585 --> 00:12:17.745 align:center - mosquitos. Why didn't you use that? - I looked for it, but I couldn't find it. 00:12:17.825 --> 00:12:20.945 align:center I used the mobile phone. How much can one man adjust? 00:12:22.785 --> 00:12:24.145 align:center One has to, Uncle Kuku. 00:12:25.465 --> 00:12:26.385 align:center Don't I adjust? 00:12:27.905 --> 00:12:32.105 align:center I used to think that there is no problem in my married life whatsoever. 00:12:33.305 --> 00:12:34.865 align:center But today I realized that, 00:12:36.785 --> 00:12:37.625 align:center Look at me. 00:12:40.145 --> 00:12:42.185 align:center - Over here, look at me. - Okay. 00:12:46.305 --> 00:12:47.265 align:center There. I looked. 00:12:47.865 --> 00:12:51.025 align:center - Now tell me what happened? - Listen to me carefully, Uncle. 00:12:51.105 --> 00:12:55.385 align:center A housekeeper stole money from my place. Around a lakh and a half rupees. 00:12:55.465 --> 00:12:56.945 align:center So Micky fired him from the job. 00:12:57.025 --> 00:13:00.625 align:center Now there are only four. With just four housekeepers I'm managing the whole 00:13:00.705 --> 00:13:02.465 align:center - house. - Four? 00:13:02.545 --> 00:13:06.225 align:center Yeah. Uh, for example, this morning, some of my new dresses were delivered at 00:13:06.305 --> 00:13:10.345 align:center home, you know I had to unpack them myself and hang them in my closet. 00:13:10.425 --> 00:13:12.545 align:center Didn't your doctor husband help you at all? 00:13:12.625 --> 00:13:15.945 align:center He just said it's an emergency and ran to the hospital. 00:13:16.465 --> 00:13:19.305 align:center And I, Uncle Kuku I didn't even say a word. 00:13:21.105 --> 00:13:22.465 align:center You didn't say a word? 00:13:22.545 --> 00:13:23.345 align:center No. 00:13:23.425 --> 00:13:27.185 align:center And over there my wife, that Rohini, I accidentally dropped a bottle of 00:13:27.265 --> 00:13:28.105 align:center oil once, 00:13:28.625 --> 00:13:29.945 align:center Oof, oof! 00:13:31.025 --> 00:13:33.505 align:center - She starts doing that. - Please relax, Uncle Kuku. 00:13:33.585 --> 00:13:36.265 align:center We'll have to take her to a doctor I think. 00:13:36.345 --> 00:13:37.665 align:center Oh! Thank you. 00:13:37.745 --> 00:13:39.905 align:center Juice, sandwich and chips. 00:13:41.225 --> 00:13:44.505 align:center When my Mikety-Chikety tasty spaghetti comes, he will get rid of all your 00:13:44.585 --> 00:13:45.425 align:center worries. 00:13:45.505 --> 00:13:46.985 align:center This Mickey, he's a good boy. 00:13:47.065 --> 00:13:49.625 align:center Hi, my chocolate tiramisu. Hi, Uncle Kuku. What are you-- 00:13:49.705 --> 00:13:50.505 align:center Hi! 00:13:53.025 --> 00:13:54.185 align:center What are you doing here? 00:13:54.265 --> 00:13:56.905 align:center Forget about me. What are you doing here? 00:13:56.985 --> 00:13:59.665 align:center I'm performing an angiography on my patient. 00:13:59.745 --> 00:14:00.705 align:center Really? 00:14:01.665 --> 00:14:04.785 align:center Then why on earth did the nurse say that you're busy? 00:14:06.185 --> 00:14:07.505 align:center Angiography, baby? 00:14:07.585 --> 00:14:11.185 align:center Yeah, I know. They used to be my favorite subjects in school. 00:14:12.025 --> 00:14:14.825 align:center - In school? - Yeah. History and Geography. 00:14:19.385 --> 00:14:22.505 align:center Listen, just do Uncle Kuku's check-up. He's feeling a little heavy in 00:14:22.585 --> 00:14:25.945 align:center the heart. You do something related to the heart, right? 00:14:28.425 --> 00:14:29.225 align:center Cute. 00:14:30.305 --> 00:14:34.345 align:center My oranges and melons, what did I tell you? At 3 o' clock I'll be coming 00:14:34.425 --> 00:14:36.505 align:center home for you. 00:14:37.305 --> 00:14:41.185 align:center First I'll do Uncle Kuku's check-up and then I'll check you out. 00:14:42.305 --> 00:14:45.465 align:center You're sure right? Because Aunty Rajni is about to drop a huge bomb on 00:14:45.545 --> 00:14:47.745 align:center Uncle Kuku's head. A divorce notice. 00:14:47.825 --> 00:14:48.705 align:center Divorce? 00:14:48.785 --> 00:14:50.465 align:center Imagine, after so many years. 00:14:50.545 --> 00:14:53.145 align:center But, Priyanka, do you even know how much these divorces cost? 00:14:53.225 --> 00:14:55.985 align:center I know. When couples see red, divorce lawyers see green. 00:14:56.065 --> 00:14:59.065 align:center Ruhaan, finish your porridge fast. Come on. Hurry up! 00:14:59.145 --> 00:15:02.665 align:center You know, divorces are pretty much like Chinese cabbages and asparagus. 00:15:02.745 --> 00:15:05.065 align:center - What? - You don't get them easily. 00:15:06.105 --> 00:15:10.305 align:center And poor old Uncle Kuku, he's got early dementia and you guys are just-- 00:15:10.385 --> 00:15:12.825 align:center Don't. Don't, Adi. Please don't use Uncle Kuku's victim card. 00:15:12.905 --> 00:15:14.265 align:center But what "victim card"? 00:15:14.345 --> 00:15:18.825 align:center Now If something happens to you for example, paralysis, diabetes. 00:15:20.625 --> 00:15:22.105 align:center Schizophrenia, arthritis, 00:15:22.185 --> 00:15:25.785 align:center Then do you think I'll just leave you and say," You go your own way and 00:15:25.865 --> 00:15:26.705 align:center I'll go mine." 00:15:27.985 --> 00:15:31.985 align:center Nothing is wrong with me. But do you think you're still with me? Huh? 00:15:32.065 --> 00:15:34.385 align:center There's absolutely no romance in our lives. 00:15:34.465 --> 00:15:37.105 align:center - We still have a lot of romance left. - Papa! 00:15:37.745 --> 00:15:38.785 align:center B-but the boys. 00:15:42.265 --> 00:15:46.505 align:center We now have children, Priyanka. So, look, here comes the little monster. 00:15:47.225 --> 00:15:48.265 align:center Yes dear, tell me. 00:15:48.345 --> 00:15:51.225 align:center Papa, can you give me a one rupee or a two rupee coin? 00:15:51.305 --> 00:15:52.105 align:center Why? 00:15:52.185 --> 00:15:54.305 align:center I want to eat it. I'm really hungry. 00:15:55.025 --> 00:15:55.825 align:center This is new. 00:15:57.065 --> 00:15:59.465 align:center You're now going to eat coins when you're hungry? 00:15:59.545 --> 00:16:03.545 align:center Yeah. You keep saying everyone is just gobbling up money these days. 00:16:03.625 --> 00:16:05.905 align:center - What's wrong with you, Mummy. - That's a bribe! 00:16:05.985 --> 00:16:08.905 align:center What? People are eating brides as well nowadays? 00:16:08.985 --> 00:16:10.665 align:center Vedant, I said bribe! 00:16:10.745 --> 00:16:13.745 align:center Hey, hey, hey. You'll- you'll blow out the candles, dear. Why don't 00:16:13.825 --> 00:16:16.145 align:center you let me deal with him. You go and yell at Ruhaan. 00:16:16.225 --> 00:16:17.025 align:center Yeah. 00:16:17.105 --> 00:16:19.065 align:center - Ruhaan. - No, no! Not from here. Do it from 00:16:19.145 --> 00:16:21.345 align:center the kitchen. You'll be closer to him. 00:16:23.145 --> 00:16:25.345 align:center Ruhaan! Ruhaan! 00:16:26.865 --> 00:16:31.185 align:center - Why haven't you had your porridge as yet? - There's a fly in my porridge! 00:16:32.505 --> 00:16:34.705 align:center - Now tell me. - A fly is stuck in my porridge. 00:16:34.785 --> 00:16:39.105 align:center What? This porridge is really thick. How could a fly get stuck in this? 00:16:40.625 --> 00:16:43.865 align:center Because when I smacked it, it was sitting on the porridge. 00:16:43.945 --> 00:16:45.945 align:center Now please go and make me some pancakes. 00:16:46.025 --> 00:16:49.425 align:center What do you mean, make me some pancakes? Do you know it will take me an hour 00:16:49.505 --> 00:16:50.985 align:center to do that, and you will end up missing your school bus. 00:16:51.065 --> 00:16:53.745 align:center Okay, you better get started then. I'll go take off my uniform. 00:16:53.825 --> 00:16:57.665 align:center It was not a suggestion. Keep your uniform on. Don't take it off. 00:16:57.745 --> 00:16:58.545 align:center Priyanka 00:16:58.625 --> 00:16:59.505 align:center - My dear wife - Tell me, darling. 00:16:59.585 --> 00:17:02.745 align:center Is it possible for a father to get a divorce from his own child? 00:17:02.825 --> 00:17:04.785 align:center It is worth considering, my dear. 00:17:04.865 --> 00:17:05.945 align:center But, what's wrong? 00:17:07.745 --> 00:17:08.585 align:center Open the door. 00:17:08.665 --> 00:17:12.265 align:center I'm coming, I'm coming. I'm definitely divorcing this man now. Hold on! Hold on! 00:17:12.345 --> 00:17:14.385 align:center Open the door! 00:17:16.265 --> 00:17:17.865 align:center Oh, just turn the handle like this. 00:17:17.945 --> 00:17:21.025 align:center - But it's not turning. - Why did you have to lock it? 00:17:21.105 --> 00:17:23.025 align:center One has to lock the bathroom, right? 00:17:23.105 --> 00:17:27.225 align:center Oh, my God! Listen, you're not in the bathroom, you're in the bedroom. 00:17:28.625 --> 00:17:29.425 align:center Oh, really? 00:17:31.465 --> 00:17:34.545 align:center No wonder, I was thinking where did the commode go? 00:17:36.385 --> 00:17:37.585 align:center Okay. Just sit down. 00:17:38.385 --> 00:17:41.505 align:center Yeah, but, how do I sit down? There's no commode here. 00:17:41.585 --> 00:17:44.225 align:center Just sit down anywhere. I'm trying to look for the key. 00:17:44.305 --> 00:17:45.345 align:center Listen! 00:17:45.425 --> 00:17:47.465 align:center I can hear you. I'm not hard of hearing! 00:17:47.545 --> 00:17:49.745 align:center But I badly need to pee, Jharni! 00:17:51.105 --> 00:17:55.105 align:center Rajni! Not Jharni! Rajni, Rajni, Rajni! 00:17:55.185 --> 00:17:57.105 align:center Who drinks a jug full of juice? 00:17:58.865 --> 00:18:02.785 align:center Oh, yeah. Listen, do one thing. You see, uh, that money plant over 00:18:02.865 --> 00:18:04.665 align:center there?. Do it in that. Go on. 00:18:04.745 --> 00:18:07.185 align:center Oh, what's the point? This plant is fake. 00:18:08.225 --> 00:18:12.265 align:center So, I am not asking you to water that fake plant. 00:18:13.985 --> 00:18:14.785 align:center Listen! 00:18:16.345 --> 00:18:17.145 align:center Listen! 00:18:18.385 --> 00:18:22.745 align:center Here. You remember that candle stand that your mother gave us, that antique one? I 00:18:22.825 --> 00:18:25.185 align:center - found it! - Oh, I thought I had lost it. 00:18:25.785 --> 00:18:27.225 align:center Can I pee in this thing? 00:18:28.305 --> 00:18:30.185 align:center Yeah! Please do. Do it! 00:18:31.225 --> 00:18:32.665 align:center How can I say no to him? 00:18:37.065 --> 00:18:39.625 align:center - Listen! - I'm not listening anymore. 00:18:40.105 --> 00:18:42.105 align:center Do whatever the hell you want. 00:18:46.385 --> 00:18:49.905 align:center Hey. The keys to this room were right here on the side table. 00:18:49.985 --> 00:18:51.345 align:center Oh, my God! 00:18:52.705 --> 00:18:56.545 align:center Alright, you just finish doing your business and bring those keys 00:18:56.625 --> 00:18:59.305 align:center with you to the balcony. Okay? 00:19:00.105 --> 00:19:00.905 align:center What? 00:19:01.585 --> 00:19:03.265 align:center Are you still alive in there? 00:19:03.345 --> 00:19:04.945 align:center - Yeah, yeah. - Don't die then. 00:19:05.025 --> 00:19:06.545 align:center How can I say no to him? 00:19:08.585 --> 00:19:12.145 align:center Priyanka, I have to leave for office soon and he has soaked all my underwear 00:19:12.225 --> 00:19:14.625 align:center in water. Why did you have to do this? 00:19:14.705 --> 00:19:18.105 align:center You're the one who taught me, that it's good to help with the house chores. 00:19:18.185 --> 00:19:21.225 align:center I thought one of your under wears is dirty. So I just soaked it. 00:19:21.305 --> 00:19:23.025 align:center Then why did you put all of them? 00:19:23.105 --> 00:19:25.825 align:center Now how would I know which underwear was dirty? 00:19:25.905 --> 00:19:29.465 align:center I'm being scolded for trying to help you. I don't want to live in this house 00:19:29.545 --> 00:19:31.385 align:center - anymore! - Vedant! 00:19:32.745 --> 00:19:35.545 align:center Hurry up! We're about to miss our school bus! 00:19:35.625 --> 00:19:37.425 align:center Heard that? Influencer? 00:19:38.425 --> 00:19:39.625 align:center Now what do I do? 00:19:39.705 --> 00:19:41.025 align:center Wear cycling shorts for now. 00:19:41.105 --> 00:19:42.945 align:center They're already in the laundry. 00:19:43.785 --> 00:19:45.025 align:center Just go commando. 00:19:45.105 --> 00:19:47.345 align:center Priyanka, you know my problem. 00:19:47.425 --> 00:19:48.425 align:center Okay, one second. 00:19:54.705 --> 00:19:55.665 align:center Today wear mine. 00:19:56.385 --> 00:19:57.185 align:center You're joking? 00:19:57.265 --> 00:20:00.945 align:center Do I look like I'm joking? Just wear it. Nobody will see it. 00:20:01.025 --> 00:20:03.145 align:center And what about my feelings getting hurt? 00:20:03.225 --> 00:20:06.225 align:center Your men's underwear will be sent to you with the driver along with 00:20:06.305 --> 00:20:09.665 align:center your lunch. Now go. I have to get to Aunty Rajni's house. 00:20:11.545 --> 00:20:12.345 align:center Cheers! 00:20:12.945 --> 00:20:13.745 align:center Are you done? 00:20:13.825 --> 00:20:18.065 align:center Yeah. I managed pretty well with this candle stand your mother had gifted. 00:20:18.145 --> 00:20:21.465 align:center It was a little small for me, but I managed it, Manjari. 00:20:23.185 --> 00:20:24.905 align:center - Now throw the keys. - Okay. 00:20:26.825 --> 00:20:27.625 align:center What do I do? 00:20:29.185 --> 00:20:31.905 align:center Tell me, Rajnikant. What do you want me to do? 00:20:39.225 --> 00:20:40.345 align:center You want a divorce? 00:20:40.905 --> 00:20:42.105 align:center No. She doesn't want it. 00:20:42.185 --> 00:20:45.905 align:center Yeah. No. I got these papers prepared for my PHD thesis, right? 00:20:47.545 --> 00:20:48.945 align:center I will get the divorce 00:20:49.025 --> 00:20:50.465 align:center Why? Why do you want it? 00:20:51.305 --> 00:20:52.265 align:center Because you… 00:20:52.745 --> 00:20:55.145 align:center Why the hell did you put the keys in this? 00:20:55.225 --> 00:20:56.345 align:center You told me to do that. 00:20:56.425 --> 00:20:59.265 align:center Do you have any kind of common sense or not? 00:20:59.345 --> 00:21:01.105 align:center Aunty. Aunty. Relax, relax. 00:21:01.185 --> 00:21:04.825 align:center This happens everyday. Yesterday he said the apple's too hard. 00:21:04.905 --> 00:21:06.345 align:center Yeah, so It's possible that the apple was raw, Aunty. 00:21:06.425 --> 00:21:08.265 align:center He was biting on a tennis ball. 00:21:08.945 --> 00:21:09.745 align:center Oh! 00:21:10.665 --> 00:21:13.225 align:center He must have thought it's a green apple. 00:21:13.305 --> 00:21:16.385 align:center So, is divorce the solution to this, Aunty Rajni? Tell me. Tell me. 00:21:16.465 --> 00:21:19.625 align:center - You know what I think? - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 00:21:19.705 --> 00:21:23.065 align:center I do want a divorce. Can't I live a little for myself? 00:21:24.225 --> 00:21:25.025 align:center Come here. 00:21:25.105 --> 00:21:26.225 align:center Why? Why? What is it? 00:21:26.305 --> 00:21:27.585 align:center Uncle, uncle. 00:21:28.105 --> 00:21:30.105 align:center Have a look at all the conditions. 00:21:31.105 --> 00:21:35.505 align:center Once we're divorced, you will live in that room and I'll live in this one. 00:21:36.585 --> 00:21:37.385 align:center Excuse me. 00:21:38.185 --> 00:21:41.985 align:center The two of you are going to stay together even after the divorce? 00:21:42.065 --> 00:21:44.905 align:center Do you expect me to send him to an old age home? 00:21:45.745 --> 00:21:47.825 align:center Who does he have apart from me now? 00:21:48.465 --> 00:21:50.065 align:center Nice. Nice. 00:21:51.945 --> 00:21:53.545 align:center - Yeah. - Come, sit down. 00:21:53.625 --> 00:21:54.945 align:center - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 00:21:55.025 --> 00:21:55.825 align:center Yeah. 00:21:55.905 --> 00:21:58.425 align:center Keep saying such sweet things, Aunty Rajni. See the pulse has become normal. 00:21:58.505 --> 00:21:59.945 align:center Let me make it abnormal. 00:22:00.865 --> 00:22:01.945 align:center Read the next one. 00:22:03.665 --> 00:22:05.505 align:center Three meals in a day, medicine, 00:22:06.625 --> 00:22:09.705 align:center [hysiotherapy, an evening walk and the diaper change. 00:22:09.785 --> 00:22:12.825 align:center Other than these things I will have no other responsibilities. 00:22:12.905 --> 00:22:14.905 align:center So you'll be doing all this as well? 00:22:14.985 --> 00:22:19.065 align:center Do you want me to leave him to a care taker? And that too at his age? 00:22:21.425 --> 00:22:23.385 align:center Then why on earth are you getting a divorce? 00:22:23.465 --> 00:22:24.265 align:center - Hmm. - Yeah. 00:22:24.345 --> 00:22:26.105 align:center - I'll get a divorce for sure. Can't I - Hmm. 00:22:26.185 --> 00:22:29.785 align:center - Live a little for myself? - Can't I live a little for myself? 00:22:31.265 --> 00:22:32.625 align:center I have to go to the bathroom. 00:22:32.705 --> 00:22:33.665 align:center Kimi! Bathroom. 00:22:35.225 --> 00:22:37.825 align:center - Kimi? - And I'll use this to wipe it off. 00:22:38.305 --> 00:22:41.385 align:center Hey, should I use this side of the paper or this one? 00:22:41.465 --> 00:22:43.585 align:center They'll both be equally rough. 00:22:43.665 --> 00:22:46.025 align:center Yes, Uncle, the terms and conditions are very strong. 00:22:46.105 --> 00:22:47.625 align:center You will not use any of the sides. 00:22:47.705 --> 00:22:50.625 align:center Oh, I will. I will be using this, and I won't give you a divorce. 00:22:50.705 --> 00:22:53.385 align:center - Uncle! - And I will definitely get a divorce. 00:22:53.465 --> 00:22:55.425 align:center Can't I live a little for myself? 00:22:56.345 --> 00:22:57.145 align:center Aunty. 00:22:57.225 --> 00:22:59.705 align:center I have to go to the bathroom. Let go, Mini. 00:22:59.785 --> 00:23:00.585 align:center "Mini"? 00:23:01.825 --> 00:23:02.905 align:center Should I go alone? 00:23:03.785 --> 00:23:07.265 align:center - I'll take him there. - What? Why is she taking him? 00:23:08.105 --> 00:23:11.305 align:center He sat on the washing machine the other day. Let's go. 00:23:12.025 --> 00:23:13.545 align:center Sat on the washing machine? 00:23:13.625 --> 00:23:15.625 align:center Yeah, they have a top loading machine. 00:23:15.705 --> 00:23:16.505 align:center Ah. 00:23:17.145 --> 00:23:19.145 align:center - Priyanka, let's go to the lawyer after - Hmm? 00:23:19.225 --> 00:23:20.065 align:center This, okay? 00:23:20.665 --> 00:23:21.545 align:center What lawyer? 00:23:22.385 --> 00:23:25.945 align:center What's his name again? Who's your cousin who looks like the thing that you 00:23:26.025 --> 00:23:27.705 align:center ring out and hang to dry? 00:23:27.785 --> 00:23:30.185 align:center - What's his name? - Aunty, I have never squeezed or 00:23:30.265 --> 00:23:32.945 align:center - rung out or hung out any of my - What the hell is his name. I can't 00:23:33.025 --> 00:23:34.585 align:center - cousins to dry. - remember. 00:23:34.665 --> 00:23:35.625 align:center Advocate Mandar. 00:23:36.425 --> 00:23:38.465 align:center Charushila Gaitonde's younger son, Ragini. 00:23:38.545 --> 00:23:41.585 align:center Yeah. "Charushila's younger son", he remembers all that, but my name 00:23:41.665 --> 00:23:43.985 align:center is "Ragini" now. 00:23:45.665 --> 00:23:48.665 align:center What do I do? Who will help me with this crazy man? 00:23:48.745 --> 00:23:49.585 align:center Listen, Rajat! 00:23:50.665 --> 00:23:51.945 align:center Yes. I'm coming. 00:23:54.145 --> 00:23:55.065 align:center Oh, my God! 00:23:55.145 --> 00:23:55.985 align:center Hey, what happened? 00:23:56.065 --> 00:24:00.345 align:center I forgot to send Adi an underwear along with his lunchbox. Chandu! 00:24:00.425 --> 00:24:01.985 align:center - Underwear? - Underwear? 00:24:02.065 --> 00:24:05.305 align:center Don't we generally send napkins along with a lunch box? 00:24:05.385 --> 00:24:07.865 align:center I don't have any idea what the hell is going on here. 00:24:07.945 --> 00:24:08.865 align:center EVEN MY BREATH USED TO SMELL 00:24:08.945 --> 00:24:11.665 align:center Okay, guys. So, for the Neem Honey toothpaste, 00:24:11.745 --> 00:24:15.185 align:center we have an audience in tier-2, tier-3 cities, okay? 00:24:15.265 --> 00:24:17.385 align:center Or I can say villages. 00:24:17.985 --> 00:24:21.785 align:center And to crack it we'll need a small, a two to three word catchphrase 00:24:21.865 --> 00:24:23.065 align:center for this, okay? 00:24:26.465 --> 00:24:28.145 align:center Adi? What are you doing? 00:24:28.905 --> 00:24:31.745 align:center Are you okay? Why are you so uncomfortable? 00:24:31.825 --> 00:24:33.985 align:center Do you want to change your chair? 00:24:34.065 --> 00:24:36.745 align:center No, no. Changing the chair isn't going to help. 00:24:36.825 --> 00:24:39.945 align:center Then let's quickly get done with it. We all have a full body check-up 00:24:40.025 --> 00:24:41.865 align:center in a bit. I hope you know that? 00:24:44.345 --> 00:24:47.425 align:center Listen. Did you get the underwear? Tell me, tell me. Did you get the 00:24:47.505 --> 00:24:48.305 align:center lunch box? 00:24:48.385 --> 00:24:51.225 align:center Hey, thank you, Priyanka. You sent it at the right time. 00:24:51.305 --> 00:24:54.825 align:center The company's health checkup is about to begin. And they do a full strip search 00:24:54.905 --> 00:24:55.705 align:center here. 00:24:55.785 --> 00:24:58.105 align:center Now quickly go and change. Just hurry up, go. 00:24:58.185 --> 00:24:59.065 align:center Ruhaan! 00:24:59.785 --> 00:25:01.225 align:center And the candle went out. 00:25:10.425 --> 00:25:11.465 align:center Can we come in, sir? 00:25:11.545 --> 00:25:14.065 align:center Yes, come in. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't come in. No! 00:25:14.145 --> 00:25:15.185 align:center Adi, sir, the health-- 00:25:15.265 --> 00:25:17.185 align:center - Checkup has got canceled. - Sir! 00:25:18.385 --> 00:25:19.705 align:center Sir! Sir! 00:25:20.345 --> 00:25:21.345 align:center Oh, no.