[Welcome theme playing]
[Welcome theme ends]
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Triple welcome.
Basically, Welcome Three.
Dubey, what's with all the drama?
I was welcoming the Minister, sir.
Ramprasad, what's up? All okay?
- How's your party doing? - All smooth.
- Let's go get some tea. - No, no tea.
Hang on.
You guys wait here.
- I'll call you. - Okay, Sir.
Sinha, you're my only friend here.
Since we were kids.
- That's why I'm here to warn you. - Yes.
The opposition has its eyes on businessmen like you
who "forget" to pay taxes.
- So? - So what?
Elections are in three months.
If we come back to power, you can chill.
I'm on your side.
But if they win, even I can't save you.
You're serious, right?
Figure out a fix for all your tax evasions.
Otherwise... you are definitely "coming out."
Coming out of where?
He'll first go in--
For a very long time.
Only then will he "come out."
Take care.
Think about it.
Let's go.
Dubey, this is serious.
Call an emergency meeting.
And get my daughter Jenny on board too.
She's taken your jet to Paris.
[suspenseful music]
Ma'am.
Oh Dad.
Hi.
Who is this?
It's Jenny here.
It's not the phone, it's my hair.
I got it dyed blonde in London.
I've called an emergency meeting.
I've called my CA, my lawyer,
my accountant, everyone.
So get here fast.
Are you making your will in my name, Dad?
Shut up and just get here.
- Come on, baby. Let's go. - [cat meows]
So guys, here's the situation.
I've got a tip from a very special contact in the ministry.
Who's this "special" contact, Dad?
No, Jenny,
I can't reveal his identity.
You can't reveal his identity,
but you can reveal his name.
I just told you.
You didn't say his name.
I just said I cannot say his name.
His name is Mr. Secret.
Jenny, please.
Where were we?
I was in Kanpur yesterday...
for a hernia surgery. That's why I missed my flight.
I'm very sorry.
Where was I?
On "You can't reveal his identity."
Yes, I can't reveal Ramprasad's...
[grits teeth angrily]
- What did I do? - Jenny!
[sips tea]
So, guys, to get out of this tax mess,
we have to start a new business where we officially show losses.
Then we'll use those losses to wipe out our old profits.
Ideas. Come on, give me ideas.
Let's start a heater factory
for a super-hot place like Chennai.
No one will buy it.
Loss, loss, loss.
Shut up! Shut up!
Dad, we'll build a 10-storey buildings all over India,
and put petrol pumps on the 10th floor.
No one will come.
This is a stupid idea.
All this will take years.
We need something we can start right now.
[sips tea]
Dubey... are you going to keep slurping tea,
or say something useful?
In my view, sir, you should make a film.
What rubbish.
Films are making crores these days.
Like Dhurandhar.
They do...
but only the good ones.
Made with real hard work.
You have so many factories.
You own the biggest jewellery store in Dubai, Kanz.
All that was built with hard work and effort.
In the same way, we'll make a terrible film
that definitely flops.
The income tax guys will be stunned into silence.
[silence]
Dad, why does Dubey keep losing his voice?
When he was born, he was so dark,
his father couldn't tell if it was a baby or a lump of coal.
He tried to strangle him.
That's so sad.
We'll show massive losses.
Then we don't have to fear the tax guys.
Dubey... imagine we make a film to flop,
and somehow it becomes a hit?
- No way that's happening. - Why not?
Because we won't cast mega-stars,
we'll only cast background extras.
How?
Flop hero. Flop villain. Flop script.
Flop technicians. Flop directors.
And we'll blow up the budget.
If they ask for a lakh, we'll pay them in crores.
If they ask for a crore, we'll give them a hundred crore.
That's it.
- Dubey... - Yes?
Don't waste time.
Find me a director who can sink my ship.
- Just like... - Titanic?
Yes.
I do know such directors.
They are too big even for Hollywood.
Not one... but two directors.
Ready. Roll cameras.
Action!
And Rolling…
This will be our first reel that actually hits golden jubilee.
[phone rings]
Sorry, sorry... sorry.
Who is it?
Some Dubey is calling.
Hello?
Yes, okay.
All right, done!
What happened, Das?
We just landed a brand-new feature film to direct.
My friend...
Let him in too.
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Meet our directors
Dev and Das.
Hi.
And this is our cameraman, Nainsukh.
Hello. Hello.
Why does he have a thick lens in just one eye?
Because he can't see properly with that eye.
Then why not in the other one?
No point. He can't see at all with that eye.
And his name is Nainsukh?
Why do you even hire a cameraman like this?
- What can we do? - We'll fire him if you want.
You two want to fire me?
I'll make your video go viral.
He's really focused. His eyesight is fine.
What are you doing, Mr. Sinha?
We need people like him.
All right, fine. Thank you.
Who is it?
Who's calling?
Romeo bhai.
Cut it. Hang up.
How many films have you two made?
Fourteen, sir.
Out of their fourteen films, fourteen were flops.
And yet they are busy.
I don't understand.
I'll explain.
There are two kinds of men in this world.
Those who can grow a beard
and those who can't.
- And...? - And what?
You said, those who can grow a beard
and those who can't.
- Exactly. - What is that about?
Those who can grow a beard has two choices.
They can either grow it or shave it off.
But those who can't grow a beard has no such choice.
They can neither grow it nor shave it.
Brilliant.
The whole industry knows he's the real deal.
This is ridiculous.
Thank you.
Fine, I have a question.
How much does it take to make a good film?
At least twenty thousand.
But our budget... is not twenty thousand.
It's two thousand.
Two thousand?
You live like royalty, and your budget is just two grand?
Take it, take it, take it.
Okay, Okay…
But with only two thousand rupees, the movie will be a--
Excuse me!
It's not two thousand rupees.
It's two thousand crore.
Two thousand crore rupees!
Two thousand crore?
Are you two serious about this?
Look... people couldn't see what I saw in your films.
The second half of our film?
No, I mean your hidden talents.
With two thousand crore we can hire Tom Cruise.
The real one, not Tom D'Souza from Santacruz.
Since we're on the topic of Tom Cruise...
which is Tom Cruise's biggest hit film?
Mission Impossible!
And the director's name?
Puzzled? You don't know the director's name.
That's what I saw in you two.
You can make stars out of complete nobodies and...
[silence]
What happened to his voice? I can't hear anything.
It happens with him. When he gets too excited, his voice just...
The audience will cheer only one name: Dev-Das.
- [applause] - Very nice. Very nice.
There's just one more thing I need to ask.
Do you guys have a script?
I've got this sure-shot blockbuster plot.
About a village deep in the jungle.
Brave Indian soldiers go there
and rescue the villagers from deadly terrorists.
What's the title?
The title is... "Welcome to the Jungle."
[hums the Welcome theme]
Sign a flop hero fast and lock him in.
I know just the guy...
He was a top star once, but now he's a complete flop.
Really?
These days, he's doing Bhojpuri films
as an item boy...
from slogging it out to scrubbing it out.
- One... Two ...Three... Four. - Scrub. Scrub.
Scrub. Scrub.
Hello.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm Benny.
- Broker? - No, Rajeev sir's manager.
♪ Scrub, scrub… ♪
♪ With a soap, my love ♪
♪ My love... ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub… ♪
♪ You grind my heart like ♪ ♪ A millstone in your arms ♪
♪ Sting on the lips like a bee ♪
♪ Come closer, naughty girl ♪
♪ I grind your heart like ♪ ♪ A millstone in my arms ♪
♪ Sting on the lips like a bee ♪
♪ After luring me ♪ ♪ With your sweet temptations ♪
♪ Don't walk away now, my love ♪
♪ My heart's fallen- ♪
♪ It has fallen, sweetheart ♪
♪ My heart's fallen for a playboy ♪
♪ I'll scrub him clean with soap ♪
♪ To a playboy you've lost your heart ♪
♪ You'll scrub him clean with soap ♪
♪ To a playboy you've lost your heart ♪
♪ You'll scrub him clean with soap ♪
♪ Will you make me shine? ♪
Bhojpuri beats Hollywood any day!
But which one is Rajeev?
The one with the beard.
♪ She kneads my back with her feet ♪
♪ Kneads my back with her feet ♪
♪ She lathers my hair with her hands ♪
♪ And scrubs me with all her charms ♪
♪ Scrub, scrub… ♪
♪ Keep scrubbing, my love ♪
♪ She kneads my back with her feet ♪
♪ Kneads my back with her feet ♪
♪ It's pure bliss ♪ ♪ When she nudges me with her elbow ♪
♪ Her youthful charm is overflowing ♪
♪ After luring me ♪ ♪ With your sweet temptations ♪
♪ Don't walk away now, my love ♪
♪ My heart's fallen- ♪
♪ It has fallen, sweetheart ♪
[phone rings]
Hello.
Go on, Dubey. Did you see our hero?
I saw the hero and I saw his dance.
Like you said, Mr. Sinha...
if we cast Rajeev, we'll lose 500 crore.
But you were wrong.
What nonsense!
We'll lose more than 1000 crore.
[laughs]
He's a total playboy.
He's scrubbing so hard,
he'll scrub us clean too.
♪ My heart's fallen for a playboy ♪
♪ I'll scrub him clean with soap ♪
♪ To a playboy you've lost your heart ♪
♪ You'll scrub him clean with soap ♪
♪ Will you make me shine? ♪
- Cut! - Very nice.
It was really nice working with you.
Same here. Can I keep the towel?
Of course.
Don't smell it. It's drenched in sweat.
Here you go.
Such a thin bundle?
Do you want the whole bank?
Brother, Dev-Das are waiting outside.
Alcoholics?
No... Dev and Das are two directors.
- Like Abbas-Mastan. - Right.
They're waiting by the pool.
Whatever story they pitch, just nod yes.
Absolutely. Let's go.
Hold on, brother.
Take off this wig and beard first.
Our luck is about to shine.
[mystical music playing]
That's brilliant.
What happens next?
Now enters...
Major Baljeet Chaudhary.
A brave soldier of the Indian Army.
He's a legend.
He sets out with his squad to
- save the villagers from the terrorists. - [snoring]
He reaches the village with his entire team...
the action kicks in, and he saves the villagers!
He fell asleep.
- [snoring] - Sleeping?
[comic music]
What happened?
Brother...
[thud]
- As usual... - [snoring]
Deep thinking.
Who thinks like this?
Whenever brother hears a good story,
he goes into deep thinking.
Let him think.
We'll wait for him over there.
All right, let's go.
- Hey, not that way. - There's water on that side.
Okay.
So, while my brother is deep thinking,
what other highlights does your film have, Dev-Das.
I'll explain-
Leave it.
You explain.
We've got a sweet romantic track for Rajeev in this film.
A romantic track for brother?
Fully entertaining.
Brother won't do your film if there's romance.
What's the problem? What's the issue?
Five years ago, brother fell in love.
And then they broke up.
Nadia.
Her name was Nadia Daruwala.
Guys, she's one of the top actresses now.
Five years ago, even my brother was at the top.
And whenever these two came on screen together,
they just set it on fire.
♪ Bring the base back! ♪
♪ Say you wanna wanna… ♪ ♪ Say you wanna love ♪
♪ Say you wanna wanna ♪ ♪ Love me, baby ♪
♪ Say you wanna wanna ♪ ♪ Say you wanna love ♪
♪ Say you gotta gotta ♪ ♪ Say you gotta know me ♪
♪ Woman, if you're looking at me ♪
♪ I too will come discover ♪
♪ I am not about any other player ♪
♪ Tell her, tell her ♪
♪ Gimme just a one minute ♪
♪ Girl, don't you make a difference ♪
♪ And you will see that I a truth sayer ♪
♪ Pick up, pick up ♪
♪ That tall... ♪
♪ And then your stunning... ♪
♪ Sweetheart ♪
♪ That tall, towering frame ♪
♪ And then you're stunning ♪ ♪ Beyond compare ♪
♪ That tall, towering frame ♪
♪ And then you're ♪ ♪ Stunning beyond compare ♪
♪ Your body dazzles and shines ♪
♪ You're the one I'm crazy for ♪
♪ Eyes always on you ♪
♪ Can't look away from this view ♪
♪ Eyes always on you ♪
♪ Can't look away from this view ♪
♪ Every glance steals a sigh ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ You're the one I'm crazy about ♪
♪ You're the one I'm crazy for ♪
♪ Enough with the praise ♪
♪ I'm always afraid you'll fall in love ♪
♪ Don't keep staring at me ♪
♪ My heart skips a beat ♪
♪ I could be falling for you too ♪
♪ Your hair is where the night falls ♪
♪ Even your eyes speak in whispers ♪
♪ My love... shower your love on me ♪
♪ You're one of a kind... ♪
♪ My heart's fallen for you ♪
♪ You're one of a kind... ♪
♪ My heart's fallen for you ♪
♪ You're one of a kind... ♪
♪ My heart's fallen for you ♪
♪ Can't live a moment without you ♪
♪ You're the one I'm crazy for ♪
♪ Bring it back now! ♪
♪ You glow like the moon ♪
♪ Twinkling with every move ♪
♪ You glow like the moon ♪
♪ You're my king and I'm your queen ♪
♪ That's why I'm the one ♪ ♪ You're crazy for ♪
♪ I'm the one you're crazy for ♪
♪ Bring it back now! ♪
♪ That's right ♪ ♪ That's right ♪
♪ I'm the one you're crazy for ♪
With each hit film, their love kept growing.
But then came a problem.
Nadia was already in my brother's life.
But another heroine, Dia, walked into it.
Hi, Rajeev.
Finally, we're alone.
Close the door.
Close the door,
after you leave.
Please.
Dia couldn't take that insult lying down.
That night, Hindustan Times was hosting a party.
- Rajeev... - Hmm.
I have to go.
The song was slow, but Nadia had to rush.
Nadia left.
Here, she took off the mask and exited,
and over there, Dia walked in.
Dia put on Nadia's mask
and crept up to my brother, using the darkness to her advantage.
My brother thought Nadia was back...
and he kissed Dia.
[kissing]
Nadia came back...
and saw exactly what Dia wanted her to see.
Brother walked straight into Dia's trap.
I've closed all your doors, darling.
[kissing]
Brother was lucky, Nadia's aim was off.
Otherwise, that champagne bottle that hit the glass
could have shattered my brother's skull.
[glass shatters]
Then my brother and Nadia broke up.
Later, my brother used all his money to produce a romantic film.
What was the film called?
"Dil Dia Na Dia!"
That was a total flop.
Which film was a total flop?
It was...
Brother has woken up from deep thinking.
Just a minute. Brother...
It was his film.
What are you doing?
You haven't landed a single film in five years,
and I haven't earned a single rupee in commission.
Your luck finally wakes up,
and you fall asleep during the narration.
What else did you expect me to do?
It was a pathetic story.
And I don't want to play an army man.
Just look at me.
I don't think they have any money either.
- I'll talk to them. - Go ahead.
Yes
Guys, come here.
In my brother's opinion, the story is still weak,
not solid at all.
Yes
But the good news is, he's ready to do your film.
Oh wow!
Thank you, thank you, sir.
[laughter]
So, who's going to talk money?
You do it.
So... what's the rate?
Is he buying groceries?
That's not what I meant.
What would be your remuneration?
Money.
[heartbeat]
Fifty...
Fifty crores?
Done.
[exciting music]
You were going to say fifty lakhs?
- Thousand. - Congratulations.
Dad will be so happy.
Very happy.
[laughter]
Yes... but that's just the signing amount.
Fifty before the film starts.
Another fifty crores?
- Done. Done. - Done.
[laughter]
Done. Done.
Let me finish.
Another fifty before we finish shooting.
You mean fifty plus fifty plus fifty...
that's one hundred and fifty.
- Are you okay with that? - Absolutely. Sit down.
[whooshing]
Oh, this is...
- Brother? - Yes.
Can you hear anything?
No.
How did he lose his voice?
Who cares.
Let him lose his voice, but we can't lose this deal.
Hold on, hold on. Let me speak.
I'm the producer's daughter.
Fifty, fifty, fifty-two hundred, done.
- Two hundred. - Two hundred. Two hundred.
Get up now, you dog.
- Congratulations! - Congratulations!
- Thank you, thank you. - Yes. It's done. Come here, Chotu.
[Welcome theme playing]
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
[Welcome theme ends]
[yawns]
[phone rings]
Who's calling?
Romeo Bhai's.
- Cut it. - Damn.
Calling during my chill time...
[text notification]
[eerie music]
Whose text is it?
Romeo bhai's.
What does it say?
"You're dead."
[text notification]
Whose text is it?
Romeo bhai's.
What does it say?
"You're also dead."
[phone ringing]
[Romeo] Hey, Smallpox, you hung up on me.
Give the phone to Das.
Hey, loser, getting too cocky, huh?
Romeo bhai...
How can we hear you without picking up your call?
Put it to your ear.
Where are you?
Behind you.
- Romeo bhai? - Put the phone to your ear.
You guys weren't lifting my calls.
Now these boys will lift you.
Give them a lift.
[action music]
There is no GPS, so how will we go?
Can't see anything.
- [suspenseful music] - [helicopter whirring]
[suspenseful music continues]
Meet Yeda Anna.
He's permanently out of control.
Do you know what his brother used to say?
"Control."
"Control, Uday."
And that's Romeo.
Shortest fuse in the business...
but he learnt how to add colour to life from his brother.
Majnu bhai.
Their whole business is running their brothers' business in India.
Ransom, land-grabbing, extortion.
[donkey screeching]
That's Majnu bhai's painting.
Brings back memories.
You call that a painting?
A donkey sitting on a horse.
Let me show you my painting.
Bring it.
This is what you call a painting.
Masterpiece.
A horse sitting on a donkey.
Different concept.
Never seen a sequel in painting before.
- Yes... - And look at the detailing.
Brilliant... look at the cuts, Anna.
Wise guy, that reminds me.
You were cutting his calls, weren't you?
No, no...
No...
You two didn't cut the call.
Fine, let's talk about that.
About what?
That black thing you always carry.
Him?
No... the thing you put on your ear.
- Earrings. - Not earrings.
We'll lose our memory trying to jog his.
Hey...
Last night you ordered food.
How did you do it?
One slap across the face and food was delivered.
No, no...
We always do this. We do this and then this.
- Phone, Anna. - Exactly.
No one understands me.
You cut his phone, wise guy. Now pick up your phone.
- Whose phone is ringing? - Your phone's ringing.
- Pick it up. - Come on.
Anna... isn't it weird?
Talking on the phone when we're right here.
Not weird at all. Carry on.
Hey, Smallpox,
why's your phone down? Put it to your ear.
Can you hear me?
I can hear you right here, bhai.
Soon you'll hear me even louder.
Only one bar.
My phone's battery is low.
Is it?
Mine's got four. Now talk.
Why is your phone down again?
Where's our money?
Hello?
Network issue, bhai.
- Come here, come here. - Yes, bhai.
You'll get full network here.
You'll hear everything.
Where's our money?
Technically, you should be paying us, bhai.
Not the other way round.
Why are you crying?
Trying to con Yeda Anna?
Who calls so many times for 2.5 lakh rupees?
It's not about 2.5 lakhs.
We burn that much just on helicopter fuel.
It's about reputation, got it?
Uday bhai and Majnu bhai's reputation.
Their reputation is worth only 2.5 lakhs?
You're lucky we're talking on the phone.
If we were face-to-face, I'd have rearranged your face.
You're right. I got lucky because of the phone.
You're right.
We're going to make millions, bhai.
We're making a big film. Try to understand.
We're giving a chance to new artists.
- Bhai... - Anna, can we talk in private?
Anna, they're making a film.
And giving a chance to newcomers.
We should be the heroes of this film.
- Me too. - Hundred percent.
Why are you two smiling?
Put your phones away. We don't want your money.
Then what do you want?
The same thing you want.
What do we want?
The same thing your film wants.
What does the film want?
Fresh, talented artists.
New artists?
- Where are they? - Right in front of you.
All I see is a horse and a donkey.
[donkey brays]
- Why, you... - Take aim, boys.
By artists, I mean... us. I mean us.
Oh, Dev, what a face!
What a personality!
- Wonderful. - Yeah.
But I've got one request.
No one should find out you two are dons.
Otherwise the rest of the cast will get scared.
Don't worry at all.
We'll act so well, no one will even know we're acting.
Even if we scream at you, don't mind it.
Take your phones out. Take your phones out.
But everything's sorted now.
Take a selfie with the future stars.
- Yeah, right. - Selfie.
Don't be scared.
[camera shutter clicking]
Fifty crores signing amount!
Now that's what I call destiny.
Why are you doing this flop producer's film in a fake wig?
Let it be.
If my luck's finally shining, why should I eclipse his?
Maybe his luck will shine too if I finish his film.
It's all written in destiny.
Destiny is what snatched me from my father years ago.
Major Vishwajeet Raj Kohli.
[emotional music]
One day, my father went on a mission for India and vanished.
He's been missing in action for fifteen years.
No one knows what happened to him.
Let's bury the past. What's the latest?
I forgot to tell you something, brother.
Dev-Das have signed two more heroes.
Anna and Romeo.
And you're telling me this now?
I just found out.
Call him!
[phone rings]
Yes, Rajeev.
You said I was the solo hero.
Who are the other two?
They're just fillers, Rajeev.
Just dogs.
You're the elephant.
Say that again.
All right.
You're the elephant,
they're the dogs barking behind you.
They're just dogs.
[phone rings]
Romeo bhai.
Hello.
Hey, Miniature.
Heard you signed some actor called Rajeev as hero.
He's your dog. You're the elephant.
[laughter]
All right, all right.
Just a dog.
[inspirational music]
Welcome, Minister sir.
Since you came, everything's been a mess
Blessing.
Sorry, I meant a blessing.
Thakur has assembled an army of idiots.
[laughing]
[intriguing music]
Hi.
Hello.
Why don't you sign my daughter as the heroine?
If she's in the film, it'll surely flop.
Jenny as the heroine. Great idea.
Super Hit.
Oh Dubey!
Me? A heroine?
I am that talented.
Das, she's our heroine.
Go, narrate her the scene.
Please, please, please.
- Go narrate it to her. - You see...
Let's go over there. The other artists are waiting.
- Okay, let's go. - Come.
[upbeat music]
They have come.
- Rajeev? - [camera shutters clicking]
Did you send money to the paparazzi?
Yes, to every single one.
[Welcome theme playing]
♪ Welcome ♪
Our hero Rajeev.
You guys... how do you always know where to pop up?
Sir, you called us.
Yeah...
These fools take my money and expose me.
I won't spare them.
Why did you invite so many paparazzi?
Meet our producer, Mr. Sinha.
Pleasure.
- Meet my friend, the Minister. - Okay.
Ramprasad.
And look... our other heroes are here too.
Other heroes?
[suspenseful music]
You said I was the solo hero.
They're dogs. I told you.
Dogs.
[suspenseful music continues]
Isn't that him?
Yes, man's best friend.
- Dog. - Rascal.
[suspenseful music continues]
- Hi, how are you? - Hello.
Who is it?
Hello. Hello.
[lion roars]
So you two are the ones we heard about.
So you two are the ones we never heard about.
We're that in this film?
What is "that"?
That... you know, that...
The one always with the heroine.
- Yes. - The heroine's mother?
No, the one always around the heroine.
The guy who holds the umbrella?
Shut up.
Without him, there is no film.
Brother, he's talking about you.
Hero.
Oh... hero. That's me.
Listen, you worthless piece of trash.
We're the heroes.
- We're the heroes. - Get lost.
- Cool down, cool down. - His career's already cooled down.
Don't cross the line.
Look, guys, the artists are here.
Top-class artists.
Bhojpuri artists.
Life's ruined...
Still, we're legends.
How many dogs are there in this film?
See... amazing.
TV stars.
There's more.
We're are talented people.
Whenever we appear on TV, we fill the whole screen.
And his talent is that he fits into the TV screen.
[laughter]
Good joke.
[comic music]
Man, these just won't end.
- The pride of Punjab. - [applause]
♪ Time to celebrate, Time to have fun ♪
And look... our heroine has arrived.
[charming music]
These legs look familiar.
Nice.
Brother... your ex, in this film?
Why?
There's bad blood between Rajeev and her. Crossing.
If they come together, it'll be fights,
drama, over budget.
- And the film will be... - Screwed.
[laughs]
We heard Nadia was shooting an ad.
She was in the pool, taking a dip...
and we dove in too, and offered her the film.
So tell us, will you do our film,
"Welcome to the Jungle"?
But Rajeev won't be my love interest.
- Then who? - It will be with the…
other two actors in your film.
Big fan.
- [laughing] - [soft instrumental music]
Brother, they're hugging.
Listen... you just scare her.
- Understood? - Yes.
Thank you.
- Nadia! - [gasps]
[awkward music]
[soft music]
Photo!
Photos, everyone.
Over here, you blind man.
Yes, I know.
Okay Smile.
Nice, one more.
[whistles]
[military bugle]
Welcome.
You must be wondering
what everyone's doing on an army training ground.
As you all know, our film is based on the army.
And all of you need basic military training.
Like... firing a gun, throwing a grenade.
All that's okay, but who's coming?
One and only trainer...
Ustad Teja!
And her strict orders are that we train along with the rest of you.
[inspiring music]
Woman?
Not just any woman...
you're looking at the Beta Dogs Regiment's tactical instructor Tejaswini.
I will turn insects like you into tigers.
And to begin with
You... give me a slogan.
Hip-hip hurray.
Shut up!
[dogs barking]
You...
[in Punjabi] Once more give it all you've got!
Good. Everyone, at the top of your voice…
Once more...
[All together] Give it all you've got!
[inspiring music]
Yoga makes you fit.
[All] Makes you fit.
Running makes you agile.
[All] Agile.
Chyavanprash gives you stamina...
Sta--
[awkward music]
Start. Move, let's go, let's go, let's go faster.
Run, you idiots.
- Time's up. - [teasing laughter]
Faster.
- [thud] Move it. - What the...
- Let go of my hand. - Don't move.
You'll fall down.
[indistinct shouting]
[laughter]
- Between the tyres! - Between the tyres!
Go, go...
Somebody stop him.
You insects are going to crawl under these wires.
- Move. - [gunfire]
[screaming]
Come on, move.
What did we get ourselves into?
- Leave me. - What did we get ourselves into?
Move faster, faster
Anna! Anna! Save me!
- You're scared of bullets. - What else am I supposed to be scared of?
Where should we go?
Where did you get him from?
He's farting from below, and you're burping from above!
Save me! Save me!
[in Punjabi] Go for it!
[gunfire]
- Rajeev,! - Yes ma, am.
[whip cracks] Climb.
- Fast. - See. Now that's a real hero.
Hey...
- We did it. - [cheering]
[applause]
He's fit.
But still a cheater.
This is called the stab and pull-out drill.
Hey! Put in Pull out!
[whip thud] Shut up.
- Speak up. - Look ahead.
- There. - Blondie, throw this.
[comedic frustrated music]
Blondie, pick it up.
Pull the pin and throw it.
Pin.
[indistinct chatter]
[explosion]
[coughing]
Who exploded?
- [muffled music] - [coughing]
Blondie, I will kill you.
[rapid gunfire]
[teasing laughter]
Brilliant, Anna.
Did any of your forefathers ever hold a gun?
Nonsense.
Three targets, and you couldn't hit a single one.
- [laughs sarcastically] - [horse neighs]
- You... - Anna. Anna.
What did he just say?
- Mangalorians can't shoot? - Don't listen to him, he's crazy.
- I'll show him. Jump. - Huh.
Jump.
Now look behind you.
[gasps excitedly]
Rajeev. Rajeev.
- Fire! - Can you help me? Please.
Good.
- Reload. - Place it on your shoulder.
- Aim. Fire. - Fire
Good job.
Oh my God, thank you so much!
Thank you.
[rapid gunfire]
[upbeat music]
Come on. Jump.
Madam, I've got vertigo.
I said Jump.
[upbeat music continues]
Madam, please.
Jump.
- [upbeat music continues] - Oh God!
Romeo!
And he thinks he can be the hero.
[everyone laughs]
[crow cawing]
[intense music]
- [crow cawing] - [instrumental music playing]
- Where did everybody go? - Aunty.
Your mother's the auntie.
Shut up!
[slap]
[intense music]
- [lullaby playing] - [snoring]
- [lullaby continues] - [snoring continues]
[gun cocks]
[gunfire]
Run. I said run.
Run. Run. I said run.
Here comes the devil.
For the first time,
The pumpkin's going to fall on the knife and get sliced.
What?
Who did you call a pumpkin?
[makes gibberish sounds]
Look... Circuit's already blown a fuse.
Have you seen a knife?
This is not called a knife.
- [Both] Then? - This is called a "knife".
- Whoa! - [awkward music]
Fire!
[gunfire]
Nainsukh.
Sorry ma'am.
Ma'am.
- Go for it. - No, no no...
[tense music]
[explosion]
- Sorry! - Blondie!
Go.
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music continues]
- [shouting] - [upbeat music continues]
Amazing.
- [cheering] - [upbeat music continues]
[upbeat music continues]
Jai Bhawani (Glory to Goddess Bhawani)!
[gunfire]
[upbeat music]
[Welcome theme playing]
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone come welcome ♪
Welcome
♪ To the party come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome, welcome, welcome ♪
[instrumental music playing]
Go on, Dubey.
What's the news?
- Sir, I've got good news. - What is it?
I'm telling you, the shoot has started.
[joyful music playing]
- Yeah! - Taking…
Yeah, okay!
Start sound.
Cameras. Action!
[upbeat music]
[shouting]
- Brother! - He's dead.
[gasps]
Sir, the jeep's flipped.
Which jeep?
[tense music]
He's dead.
Wasn't your brother an action star?
[intriguing music]
He won't die easily.
Yes, my brother is still an action star.
[suspenseful music]
[suspenseful music continues]
[explosion]
Two seconds later and he would've been dead.
Rascal.
It's really hot.
Hot? You're feeling hot?
Dubey!
Yeah! Yes.
Our heroine is feeling hot.
Are you serious?
Get the fan going. Turn it on.
[helicopter blades whirring]
I wanted a fan, not a tornado.
Big heroine, big fan.
Let's go!
[comic music]
So, Dubey, What's the update on the shoot?
Sir, shooting's in full swing.
Brilliant, Dubey.
Sir, I'm spending without holding back.
Good. Spend as much as needed.
There shouldn't be any shortage of money. Understood, Dubey?
- Here. Take it. Happy now. - Thank you, sir.
[singing] Kashi rocks, Patna rocks,
Shut up, you idiots! Let me rest.
Give me a massage. [group singing] the whole city rocks...
[gunfire]
Shut up!
[soft music]
Hey, idiot! Here's 3200.
Keep the camera on me. I'm going to do a stunt.
That's…
All right. But who are you, mister?
Start sound. Cameras.
- Rolling... maybe. - Action!
[upbeat music] [gunfire]
[helicopter whirring]
Mind-blowing. Fantabulous.
- Hey, Director! - Yes, Anna.
What's mind-blowing?
I want to do what that loser did.
You mean the stunt.
Stunt or whatever, I want to do it.
Ready?
Action!
[upbeat music]
Director. Director. I don't want to do action.
Get me down, I have vertigo.
Say cut, director.
Why is he screaming?
You know?
You wouldn't be screaming at all.
Why?
The chopper would never have taken off with you.
[laughter]
- Get me down. I have vertigo. - What is this?
He's ruined the whole shot.
Why do you hire people like him?
- [laughter] - I have vertigo. I have vertigo.
That's his job, Anna.
It's not your job to hang like this.
You've left me hanging, Ramprasad Udyavar.
I started such an expensive film on your advice.
Look, Sinha.
I told you before.
If the opposition comes to power, I can't help you.
Bye.
- [phone beeping] - Hello. Hello. Hello.
- Hello. - [intense music]
Hello?
Mr. Sinha, it's an IT raid.
[dramatic music]
Calm down, Mr. Sinha. Calm down.
No calm, sir! I'm bringing a revolution.
Boom. Boom. Boom.
I've planted explosives everywhere.
Just give me the signal on that tower.
What's he saying?
He's saying there's a detonator up there.
As soon as it's pressed, there'll be a small 100-gram blast.
After that, he's loaded it with 750 kilos of explosives.
- he'll blow everyone up. Right? - Yes.
[laughing loudly]
[silence]
Hey?
He's saying budget is not an issue. Blow it up.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah.
Come on, clear the ground.
Let me set the shot. Full lights.
It's daylight!
[comic music]
We'll shoot the climax here.
Rajeev, this is your death scene.
You get shot, and your chapter ends.
Good riddance.
The moment you're shot,
you close your eyes and die.
As soon as you close your eyes,
Nadia and Anna will embrace each other in a tight hug in happiness.
Too much happily.
Nice. Nice.
[laugh]
[emotional music]
I guess Dev-Das won't stop till they turn you…
into Amitabh Bachchan of action films.
Yes.
[soft music playing]
But this Amitabh Bachchan just won't die.
- What? - Ready?
- Start sound. Cameras. - Rolling.
[playful music]
Action!
- [gunfire] - [groans in pain]
[intense music]
Fire.
[groaning]
[gasps]
[groaning]
Baljeet!
- No! - Oh, God.
[emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
[screams]
[comic music]
Why isn't he dying?
What is this?
Hey, Shoot him again. Twice.
Okay.
- [gunfire] - [groans in pain]
[intense music]
[gasps]
- [emotional music] - He's dead.
[screams]
Just die.
Die.
Are they shooting him with bullets or vitamins?
He keeps getting up.
He just won't die.
He's not going to die.
He knows what happens if he dies.
I'll kill him.
- [gunfire] - [groans in pain]
[intense music]
[rapid gunfire]
Just die already!
Dev-Das!
Coming, Romeo, coming.
- [rapid gunfire] - [groaning]
Why won't you die?
I'm putting some soul into dying.
Who puts soul into dying?
Oh God, these actors are at it again.
Dev-Das, what did you say he was?
A dog! But he's a damn cat!
We knock him down nine times, he still won't die.
Turn off the camera, come on.
Just use real bullets and die!
What?
Bloody goldfish, you want to shoot me!
Let me go.
I'll shoot you.
Have you lost your mind?
Have you lost it?
[explosion]
Okay, done blast.
Hallelujah.
Das! Das!
Tell Dominic not to trigger the blast.
Dominic... blast...
[silence]
Signal received. Okay.
[suspenseful music]
Stop it!
[electrical buzzing]
♪ Welcome ♪
- ♪ To the jungle welcome ♪ - [explosions]
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
- Give me the phone... - At least...
[Welcome theme playing]
Diwali!
[explosion continues]
Why am I panicking?
We were supposed to blow it up.
But that's...
- Excuse me! - Yes?
- That carpet too. - Yes.
Du... Du... Dubey.
My secret phone.
Dubey.
[phone ringing]
Who is this?
It's me. Sinha.
Sir. Good news.
[laughing loudly]
That 142 crores set we were supposed to blow up...
you didn't blow it up?
Why wouldn't I?
That's exactly why I'm here.
It's gone, sir. In pieces.
And do you know what's bonus?
What?
The camera wasn't on.
You weren't supposed to blow it up.
Why?
The income tax raided me, Dubey.
From the carpet to my pants, they took everything.
What do we do now?
Finish this film in one day.
We've only got one way to make money.
Make me a hit film.
Or I'll shoot everyone.
[gunshot]
Beg them to complete the film.
[gibberish sound]
[gibberish sound continues]
Now what can I do?
Isn't Dubey sounding absurd?
How will we finish shooting in one day?
It's all his fault.
Yes. I kept telling him not to blow it up.
But he didn't listen.
You didn't say anything.
I was signalling you... don't blow it up.
- What did you do? - Think about what we do next?
And how will we do it?
We don't have a set or a location or money.
How do we do it?
I know about a location.
It's 20 kilometres from the border.
Azadganj
That village matches exactly with your set.
It can be of use to you.
But... let me warn you.
There is a problem.
- Will the location cost money? - Free. It's free.
Will we need permission?
Why need permission when it's free?
Then what is the problem?
Some villagers live in the village.
Villagers in the village?
No...
We'll use the villagers as background.
Yes, we won't tell the actors they are villagers,
Otherwise, they won't cooperate.
No, no.
And don't worry about the shoot.
I will put up cameras all over the village.
We'll finish shooting in a single day.
- There is another problem. - What?
There is no road to this village?
Do the villagers fly to their village?
What are you talking about?
I have three helicopters on standby.
They have been paid in full for both ways.
They will have to bring us back.
There is a problem.
What are you talking about?
Location is not a problem. We don't need permission.
There are villagers in the village.
We have helicopters!
What problem do you have?
[silence]
What is the problem? Why did you blow it up?
You guys didn't hear the main problem.
The main problem... Hallelujah.
Hey... brother.
How is this even possible?
Do you have a brain or bullshit?
How can we finish shooting in a single day?
Hey, Pen drive.
Yes, bro.
Are you making a film or instant noodles?
Finish shooting in a day?
He's not ready to die in the film,
and you are screwing with the film.
You said you'll give me that.
What?
That thing that heroes get in the film.
Heroine?
Did you promise him that?
What are you saying, Anna?
This is a family film.
Not at all... I never said that.
Hold on.
Brother will do no such thing.
I am ready to do it.
One day, brother?
Let's end this chapter in one day.
I cannot tolerate this anymore.
[awkward music]
I cannot see them hugging each other.
[awkward music]
I am ready.
I don't want to see their faces.
But your face was priceless
when she was with me.
[naughty sound]
I really wanna mop the floor with you two.
Listen, Mrs. Doubtfire.
If you like mopping so much, mop the floor.
The floor is pretty dirty.
Even your face is pretty dirty.
Do you want me to mop that?
- Hey... - Calm down.
Calm down, guys.
- Wait a minute. - Why do you keep fighting over everything?
Shut up! Hopping like a frog.
Don't call a rhinoceros a frog.
Just stop it.
You go fish.
Go to hell all of you.
We have no interest in going to your home.
Stop it.
Why you...
- What are you doing? - What did you do, idiot?
What is this?
[screams]
- It's not acid. It's water. - Stop overacting! It's water
Why you...
Beat him. Beat him.
What are you guys doing?
Stop them, Anna.
Today is my rest day.
Calm Down.
If you guys keep fighting this way,
the film will never get completed nor will anyone get paid.
- No lying down, sit down. - Yes.
Stop blabbering!
The set blew up because of you guys.
Sinha sir has clearly said,
if the film doesn't get completed in two days,
no one gets the final payment.
We'll leave for the shoot tomorrow
and go to a real location.
That location is very similar to our set.
Yes. And the cameras will be all over.
Like in Bigg Boss house.
We'll finish shooting in a single day.
There you will meet some talented actors with a theatre background.
And you all have to improvise with them.
We'll be there with you in uniform.
Since he'll be holding the camera,
he can pan on anyone at any time.
And according to production,
no assistant, no vanity van, no makeup.
And most importantly...
[silence]
- Did he say something? - I didn't understand.
- Correct. - Understood?
He's saying everyone should be ready at 7 am.
The helicopter will be there.
- Correct? - That's what I said.
♪ Welcome welcome welcome ♪
[birds chirping]
Dominic... why the long face?
Everything is set now.
You guys didn't listen to me.
If we didn't listen to you, then how are we here with the works?
I mean... you didn't hear me out completely.
Fine, we didn't listen. Tell us now.
What I'm going to say now is bad.
Whether it's bad or not, just tell us.
It's both. It's bad and it's the whole truth.
The village I told you about
is often raided by mujahideen.
[ominous music]
Mujahideen? Alauddin's brother?
No, man.
Mujahideen terrorists.
[horses galloping]
Dacoits.
Yes terrorists!
His name is Zatara!
[suspenseful music]
[horses galloping]
Hey man,
I've decided not to go with you.
The helicopter's going to drop you
and pick you up at 5:30 pm.
Bye. Hallelujah.
It's okay. They don't come often.
Right. They must be those small-time radicals.
[suspenseful music]
We are not that unlucky
that they will show up when we arrive.
- They show up rarely. - Exactly.
[tense music]
Run!
- [horses neighing] - [people screaming]
Run! They're here!
[horses neighing]
And that cross-eyed Dominic made it sound like it's an entire army.
To hell with them!
[mysterious music]
[mysterious music continues]
Villagers!
Remember, Zatara personally told
you not to touch that well.
And he tried to drink from that well.
[groaning]
[door opens]
[ominous music]
[ominous music continues]
Rascals!
You two belong to our village.
You joined hands with them.
[spits]
This attitude of yours... makes Zatara
- [kisses] - crazy about you.
[mysterious music]
Zatara! Set Azadganj free!
- [everyone shouting] - Father!
Dad. Dad...
Neither Azadganj, nor Zoya...
Zatara share them with anyone.
Anyone who interferes will be reduced to dust.
[mysterious music]
The day will come when you'll be reduced to dust.
The day will come when you will accept Zatara's love.
Your obsession will never come true.
[ominous music]
All of you pray that the Indian government
gives in to our demands by 5:30 pm.
If I see any activity in this village before that,
then no one will be spared.
[gibberish]
[gibberish continues]
What is the old woman saying?
One minute.
Old woman...
either you speak, or you cry.
[awkward music]
Auntie is absolutely right.
[comic music]
How did he understand him?
Old man...
you think you understand her?
[arabic language]
What?
Better face the reality.
They both are crazy?
You're right, brother.
- Let's go. - [horse neighs]
Lord... is there anyone who can free us from this captivity?
[suspenseful music]
Send someone to free us from Zatara's wrath.
[suspenseful music continues]
Ready.
Camera.
- Rolling. - Yes.
Show us their faces.
- [playful music] - [kisses]
[gibberish]
[helicopter whirring]
Those who will be our armour... and our arsenal.
Bend over, fatso. Bend down.
Climb up.
[groans]
- Bye, guys. - See you soon.
[helicopter whirring]
Shower your grace from the skies.
- [helicopter whirring] - [cheering]
Let's go.
[helicopter whirring]
[helicopter whirring continues]
[comic music]
Why did you push me?
I didn't push you, I kicked you.
Yes!
Help me.
What are you doing?
Come on, baby.
Help me.
Hey... she won't go with you.
Get lost.
Rajeev.
Help me also.
Let's go, horsey. Come on.
[bird cawing]
Listen carefully, guys.
We have installed cameras everywhere.
We'll say action now
and cut directly at 5:30 pm.
- Right. - This is called guerrilla shooting.
What is it called?
Guerilla shooting!
What is it called?
[All] Guerilla shooting!
- [woman gasps] - [gorilla growls]
Gorilla sound?
Gorilla!
Indian army!
- What? - Show me.
[suspenseful music]
The Indian Army in Azadganj for the first time.
And we're feasting on fruits.
Here you go.
Go on, Abdullah.
We're guarding the Sector 14 mines.
And the update is that the Indian army is here.
If you can, please check from your binoculars.
[gasp]
- Indian army? - Yes.
I think my binoculars are busted.
The Indian army is not in range.
But I can see you two.
And we can see them, sir.
How many?
Sir... I have only 50 rupees.
50 rupees?
Idiot.
- How many army personnel? - Check, check.
[military march]
Twelve men.
Two women.
And a child as well.
The Indian army is vacationing with family and kids.
It's a good thing we gave guns and grenades to Abdullah.
Abdullah, what's in your hand?
Radio phone, sir.
In your other hand.
- In my other hand... - It's power. Pure power.
Custard apple?
Use it.
Throw it at them.
Throw a custard apple?
If he says, then throw it.
[kissing sound]
[tense music]
[mechanical whirring]
[explosion]
Custard apple exploded!
And exploded how?
[cheering]
Hey... what was that?
Nothing. Just like mic testing, this was blast testing.
Dominic must have sat on it again by mistake.
Oh, wow!
Let's go.
[ominous music]
General Vikram Singh
Sir. Zatara.
[intense music]
Yup.
I'm sure you heard the blast.
What blast?
You caught four of our men from the Burhan border.
And now you sent the army.
Army?
- Balbeer. - Sir.
Did you send any units from here?
No, sir.
Then, which unit is he talking about?
Zatara, you run anti-national operations from no-man's land?
and hold villagers hostage?
If the UN hadn't tied our hands,
I'd have crushed that misconception.
You guys are delusional.
If my demands are not met by 5:30 pm today...
If my men are not released,
then the people of Azadganj will die just like your soldiers did.
Which soldiers did he kill?
[intense music]
Who are these people?
Are they actors as well?
The Indian army survived.
According to the script, these people are terrorists.
Take charge.
Let's go, everyone.
[mysterious music]
- Look ahead. - I know that.
Aren't you a terrorist?
- You came here to kill us, didn't you? - Yes.
Don't just stand there like a loser.
He looks like Abdullah Whose gate crashed a wedding.
He knows my name.
- Hey... what are you hiding? - Show me.
What are you hiding?
- You're a terrorist, aren't you? - Yes.
- Then shoot me here. - No, no.
- Alright, shoot me here. - No, no.
Shoot me.
Don't shoot him. Shoot me.
I have 35 years of experience.
Action! Cut!
Forgive us.
We are villagers. We were led astray.
From now on, we'll fight together.
- Long live the Indian Army! - He's a good actor.
Down with Zatara!
Long live the Indian Army.
- Down with Zatara! - I think the villain's name is Zatara.
Zatara. Sounds better than Mogambo and Gabbar.
Hands off.
Together with you, we'll set Azadganj free.
But first, you've got to stand up and show us Azadganj.
- Yes, let's go. - Come on.
Come here this way.
[eagle screeches]
[running footsteps]
This way.
[intense music]
Run!
Run, they are here again.
Run run fast
Go inside. Go inside. Close the door.
- [door slams] - [goat bleats]
[ominous music]
[mysterious music]
- [honking sound] - Hey.
Why did you stop? Did you run into a signal?
[laughter]
I don't want to do this film.
Brother. We're getting millions.
Money always changes my mind.
[mysterious music]
The location is very authentic.
Where are all the actors?
Villagers. You are all mistaken.
They are not Zatara's men.
The Indian army is here to help us.
Come out.
Don't be scared.
Come on. They are here for us.
Come on.
Everyone, come out.
[intense music]
[hopeful music]
[hopeful music continues]
[camera beeps]
Brother, look at the crowd.
It's really good casting. The characters look authentic.
Authentic.
Auntie... The Indian army.
I don't believe it.
He even cast old folks.
Hats off to Dev-Das.
Villagers...
God has answered our prayers.
We both were fools
to side with Zatara.
But now we have realised our mistake.
Yes.
The Indian army made us realise our mistake.
They have come to free Azadganj.
You guys come now...
[solemn music]
Finally, you remembered us...
[beeping]
After so much bloodshed,
dead bodies and violence?
And you guys show up now.
We've been waiting for ages.
And you think of us now.
We've been living a life of humiliation.
[awkward music]
We've been suffering
and starving to death every minute.
[burping sound]
Sorry.
What did he eat?
If she says all the dialogues,
what am I doing in the film?
Glamour!
Have you come to bury our bodies?
You gave her such a nice role.
She will overshadow all of us.
She's a legend.
Look, you are mis--
See what? See what?
- My hair. - See what?
What an actor.
Where were you?
20 years have passed.
And you show up now.
[instrumental music]
Where were you these past 20 years?
You're overdoing it now.
Down. Down.
Overdoing...
Overdoing what?
This is not our frustration.
It is our bane that cries out through this plea.
Overdoing?
[spits]
Why that...
Method acting.
She's spitting on my shoe.
Method acting.
Stop it, Zoya. Stop it.
[gibberish]
[gibberish continues]
What is she saying?
[gibberish continues]
Either she's a really good actor
or she doesn't remember her dialogues.
[gibberish continues]
Auntie is absolutely right.
[awkward music]
Absolutely right.
How did he understand?
[groaning]
Where is the sound coming from?
Over there.
[labored breathing]
Why is he tied up?
It's because of Zatara.
Zatara gave strict instructions,
that this well of Azadganj is off limits for us.
And yet this innocent child tried to drink water from that well
and Zatara tied him up
and gave orders to let him starve.
[arabic language]
[awkward music]
What are you looking up for?
Everything he's saying is going over my head.
Hey, specy. Keep this 4500.
Keep the camera on me.
I'm going to say my dialogue.
[clears throat]
But who are you, mister?
I've got your money from earlier.
[comic music]
Give me blessings, please.
[indistinct speech]
I have understood everything.
Don't worry.
No harm will come to this village.
Zoya...
I will return those 20 years that you lost.
And not a single person
from this village will be Zatara's pawn anymore.
Uncle Murad,
No one will face any consequences.
[awkward music]
And the one to offer water to this helpless...
Will be me.
[tense music]
He's eating up my scene.
He's not eating anything. He's offering water.
Stay on the mark.
[groaning]
We're not allowed to take water from that well.
That is Zatara's well.
Villagers...
Do you want to fill the bucket from the well
or with your tears?
[lock breaks]
- Where is that? - What, mister?
Who am I asking?
Listen... what's that thing that's near the well?
Thirsty guy?
The thirsty guy is right here.
The thing that stays bent over the well like this.
Horse.
Not a horse, you idiot.
I'll hit you guys with this bucket.
It's that thing in your hand.
Anna, Bucket.
Bucket it was.
Sir, give me some water.
Of course. Of course.
[camera beeps]
Now this soldier's going to give this thirsty man some water.
Me too. I'll give him some water.
Me too. Me too.
Who else wants to give him water?
Give me the water. Drink it.
Come on, drink.
Drink it.
[water pouring]
Stop. Stop.
Earlier, he was dying of thirst,
now he'll die from everyone making him drink.
People of my nation...
remember those sacrifices.
The one who was about to be martyred,
fill him with water.
They are my sycophants!
[awkward music]
[indistinct chatter]
Did he call us sycophants?
Come. Come.
Please, come.
What are you looking at, Zoya?
Welcome them.
Auntie is right, Zoya.
Welcome them.
[gentle music]
[knife slicing]
[gentle music]
You have to do the same.
This is our tradition.
[emotional music]
O wailing mother, can you hold this?
[gentle music]
- [knife slicing] - [emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
Nainsukh.
Nainsukh...
Hey, idiot.
- What is it? - Keep the camera on me.
Villagers, you don't have to fear Zatara anymore.
Because officer Baljeet Chaudhary has arrived,
to close Zatara's chapter.
The water in that well...
doesn't belong to Zatara.
It belongs to us.
What does the world call this place?
POK?
Do you know what POK means?
POK.
He keeps on talking.
Come on, children. Take your clothes off.
We're going to bath.
Come on.
He's calling me a bloody sycophant.
- Should I shoot him? - Shoot him. Shoot him.
Bhai, only one day of shooting left.
Then you can shoot him.
One day of shooting.
Then we'll both shoot him.
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music continues]
[pashto song]
[upbeat music continues]
The Indian soldiers are alive, Zatara.
[dramtic music]
And they are in Azadganj.
[dramtic music]
Just a moment.
I know you are a going out for the interval,
but I want to stop you.
Sorry for that.
What for?
Because we shot a song
which we couldn? include in the film.
So we thought we?l show you during the interval.
Please don't ask why.
Watch my song with Disha Kyun by Talwinder.
♪
♪ Why do I keep running around (like a fool) ♪
♪ Just for you? ♪
♪ Why do I keep running around (like a fool)? ♪
Why do I keep running around (like a fool)?
♪ Come stand before me for a while, Let me speak my heart out with a smile. ♪
♪ Come, let me worship you, ♪
♪ Why do I keep running around (like a fool) ♪
♪ Just for you?♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls,♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
♪ Even the moon is scared to rise at night, ♪
♪ How can I describe your beauty's light? ♪
♪ Whenever I drive by your street, ♪
♪ Your door is always closed ♪
♪ What am I supposed to say to your front door? ♪
♪ The key to your heart, ♪
♪ Where could it be? ♪
♪ I keep searching for it endlessly ♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls, ♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
♪ My life and my soul, ♪
♪ rest in your hands alone ♪
♪ My life and my soul, ♪
♪ rest in your hands alone ♪
♪ My life and my soul, ♪
♪ rest in your hands alone ♪
♪ My life and my soul, ♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls, ♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls, ♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls, ♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
♪ Why do I keep crashing into walls, ♪
♪ Why do I keep taking all these falls? ♪
[acoustic music]
- Nainsukh. - Yes.
Now go and shoot happy montages.
Okay, done.
- Happy... yeah. - Full lights.
- Where did he go? - Happy.
Home-cooked food made by Mom.
[acoustic music]
What was the meaning of cutting the fingers?
[gibberish]
Auntie is right.
But what is Auntie saying?
[acoustic music]
[acoustic music continues]
Benny.
I don't understand why you
or Rajeev won't tell Nadia the truth?
Nadia was mistaken that night, right?
So, tell her. I'm sure she will understand.
Brother says...
what's the point of love that needs clarification?
Uff.
Welcome To The Jungle of Love.
[upbeat music]
Jenny...
My that beats for you.
What?
- No, I mean... - What's happening, Anna?
Did he have to show up now?
- What was Anna talking about? - His heart.
Whose heart?
My heart.
[dramatic music]
Get lost.
[dramatic music]
Take it.
Thank you, uncle.
Take.
Thank you, uncle.
And you take all of it.
What?
No, thank you.
[music fades out]
She's Zoya's daughter. Urvi.
Zoya who?
Zoya... who spat...
Years later, I'm seeing a smile on her face.
[emotional music]
Because of Zatara,
Zoya lost her husband and the innocent child lost her voice.
She lost her husband.
I won't spare you, Zatara.
You killed the poor guy.
[crying music]
Son...
[arabic language]
she lost her voice.
Amen. Amen.
[funny music]
Which Urdu does he speak?
Who's going to understand when the film releases?
Get rid of this character. End it.
Go and rest in the room.
Lunch will be announced soon.
Go to your room and relax.
Don't take tension, darling.
We're there.
How long before the chopper arrives?
At least four hours.
Should we shoot the climax until then?
How are we going to do that?
We need a villain, we need goons.
Where are we going to get those?
So what?
You arrange for a few and I'll arrange for a few.
And let's start shooting.
You find four people, and I'll find four.
- Yes. - Understood? Four.
And go.
Nainsukh.
Nainsukh, where are you?
Fixed it.
I am over here.
[horses neigh sound]
They are here!
[dramatic music]
Dev found four men.
Dev!
Brilliant. Four men.
Das. You found four men.
What's the matter?
Why did all the rats come out today instead of hiding
in their burrow.
Because these rats have become lions.
Brave Indian soldiers of
the are here to face you.
We've been waiting... for this day for ages.
[gibberish]
Auntie is absolutely right.
I can never understand what this old hag says.
[arabic language]
And even God cannot understand his Urdu.
If it wasn't for my brother, I would have shot them dead!
[dramatic music]
So the news was right.
Indian soldiers are alive.
Abdullah, Krishan, bloody traitors.
You joined hands with them.
Dev Das, what kind of climax is this?
Only four men.
That's your big climax?
Let me explain.
Leave it, Das.
Look, they are four now...
but you'll see four hundred on screen.
Four hundred?
With the help of special effects and AI.
They are four now.
We'll add another hundred behind them,
then another hundred, then a few hundred more.
We'll fill the screen with as many as you want.
Please.
Did you hear?
I did.
Four hundred.
[playful music]
- Nice. - Nice.
But this is my scene.
I don't want Anna and Romeo...
Let's go before the chopper shows up.
Why...
He...
- Okay. - Oh yes.
I don't want to do this film.
Brother, We're getting millions.
Money always changes my mind.
We swear on the soil you are standing on,
we'll bury all of you in this soil.
- Teach you all a lesson. - Very good.
Good dialogues.
Wipe the floor with you!
Do you think you're a tough guy?
Raise hell here!
Wipe the floor with you!
If you raise your head, I will chop it off.
Raise hell here!
Wipe the floor with you!
What are you looking at?
You raise an eyebrow, I'll raise hell.
Who are they talking to?
if you have guts, then come.
I will kill everyone.
Raise hell here!
Who are they talking to?
- Romeo, you are covering me. - What are you saying, Anna?
Come on.
Forget raising hell, get your eyes checked first.
[funny music]
- He hit me for real. - Yes.
He hit the don.
You're taking it too far now.
And you take this.
you...
[groaning]
Brother, the climax has started.
Leave that. Time for some action.
Go.
Punch him in the guts.
[action music]
[intense action music]
- Come on. - Let's go.
- You hit me. - Take that.
Stop it.
Kick him in the back!
[intense action music]
Attack!
[intense action music]
[action music]
♪
♪ No, no, no, no ♪
♪ Stay with me and live in bliss, ♪
♪ cash in on every happines ♪
♪ Stay with me and live in bliss, cash in on every happiness ♪
[clothes tearning sound]
[crying sound]
Stop it.
Who hits like this?
Even we have a reputation.
I am going. I am going.
[emotional music]
[wood break sound]
[acoustic music]
I will show you.
I'll show all of you.
Move aside,
[romantic music]
Alright. Action's done.
Tell Rajeev to start the song then we can leave.
Rajeev.
♪
♪ Radiant, comfort of the soul, ♪
♪ Flower-veiled, extraordinary one ♪
♪ In an embrace of whispered secrets, ♪
♪ A graceful surrender to beauty ♪
♪ We're crazy, we're lovers ♪
♪ Ready always ♪
♪ We're crazy, we're lovers ♪
♪ Ready always ♪
♪ We make friends from the heart ♪
♪ our hearts overflow with lov ♪
♪ My love, wherever you go, I'll follow ♪
♪ Radiant, comfort of the soul ♪
♪ Flower-veiled, extraordinary one ♪
♪ In an embrace of whispered secrets ♪
♪ A graceful surrender to beauty ♪
♪ We're crazy, we're lovers ♪
♪ Ready always ♪
♪ We make friends from the heart ♪
♪ our hearts overflow with love ♪
♪ My love, wherever you go I'll follow ♪
♪ You spoke those words with your hand on your heart ♪
♪ You struck such a melody, every heart began to sway ♪
♪ You're swaying with the beat, yet lost in your graceful pride ♪
♪ I swear, my love, what irresistible charm you have ♪
♪ My love... the magic lies in your youth ♪
Brother. They all hit me.
The kids hit me.
Here, there, they hit me everywhere.
Come on, brother. Let's go take revenge.
♪ I've seen a thousand shades of you, my love ♪
♪ My heart longs for you... just glance at me once ♪
♪ These kohl-lined eyes of mine can turn day into night ♪
♪ These golden tresses of mine can summon the rain ♪
♪ My love... crazy, crazy... crazy for you ♪
♪ We're crazy, we're lovers ♪
♪ We're ready always ♪
♪ We make friends from the heart ♪/i
♪ our hearts overflow with love ♪
♪ My love ♪
♪ I'll be wherever you go ♪
♪ Radiant, comfort of the soul ♪
♪ Flower-veiled, extraordinary one ♪
♪ In an embrace of whispered secrets ♪
♪ A graceful surrender to beauty ♪
[galloping music]
Hey Dev, Song is over.
Tell everyone to come in military costume.
- Everyone back in military costume. - ♪ Radiant, comfort of the soul ♪
♪ Flower-veiled, extraordinary one ♪
♪ In an embrace of whispered secrets ♪
♪ A graceful surrender to beauty ♪
[blast music]
Was it a blast?
- So many people. - Where?
[dramtic music]
[intense music]
[dramatic music]
Nainsukh, climax again?
Mind blasting.
Now this is a climax! Dev-Das.
Very good.
I'm so happy with y'all.
This next scene is mine.
No one's going to hijack it.
[intense music]
Zatara!
Before getting your hands on Azadganj,
you will have to go through me.
You will have to face this rock.
This one!
Listen carefully.
You will have to face this rock.
This one.
Stop.
Courage dared the impossible.
Few heads have dared to rise
among a thousand blades.
Dev-Das, where did you get all these characters?
We have a limited budget.
Two minutes. Hold on.
Look, I understand where you got the four guys.
But how did you arrange these many people?
- I hired those four people? - Exactly. You got those four people.
But where did I get those four guys?
Over here.
Das... I didn't hire those guys. I thought you got them.
- I got them? - Great.
Why ask me if you got them?
I am asking a question. There's a question mark.
I got them?
I didn't get them. There's a full stop.
If you didn't get them,
he didn't get them, then who are they?
How dare you stand in front of Zatara?
[shocking music]
Zatara!
You are looking at a man!
And I am challenging you.
Come fight me.
Did you guys see?
That's Zatara.
Poor guy never saw anything his entire life.
And the first thing he sees... is Zatara.
Zatara, I will crush you...
These two drama queens ruined several scenes.
It's my turn now.
I will hijack this scene.
- For this country... - This soldier will die.
And I...will eradicate you evildoers.
Your tiny bullet...
[funny music]
Ouch...
He shot me!
It's a good thing you shot him.
Now, I will take revenge.
What happened? What happened? What is this?
Have you lost your mind?
- Are you alright? - Do you want me to shoot you?
Do you know how painful it is?
- What happened? - He...
Stop looking at those kids.
Look at me.
I am challenging you.
- Hey... - Yes.
- Who uses real bullets? - This is not fair.
Should I use my real thing?
I think we'll have to tell them the truth.
Tell us what?
What is this about?
Hurry up and tell them. Stop wasting time.
Yes. Yes.
Come here.
will you speak in my ears or what?
This is a real village and real villagers.
What do you mean?
You have challenged a real force today.
You'll die a dog's death, Zatara.
Zatara is real, and so are his men.
No... no.
Their guns are real and so are the bullets.
Are you serious?
Yes, they are all real.
And the horses?
Forget the horse, we're doomed.
We are all going to die.
This is Zatara's territory.
Zatara, you have invited your own death coming here.
Because you're facing the biggest khiladi,
International Khiladi, global khiladi,
khiladiyon ka khiladi!
- Brother. - Yes.
He's barking a lot. Let me kill him.
Let him bark.
Stop it, Rajeev, or our game will be up.
[Hindi rhyme]
He will not agree.
We'll have to bring him back.
- Confidence. - Their soldiers are here.
We'll nail those horse shoes on his forehead.
What happened?
What are you doing?
Why did you bring me here?
I was doing that scene so well...
Daddy...
And why is everyone crying?
[funny music]
My performance made you all cry, right?
No,
Your silliness.
we're crying, thinking about what's going to happen to us because of you nonsense.
What's going to happen?
Zatara's bullets are real.
This is blood, not ketchup.
Lick it.
Krishan and Abdullah are real.
The one who is pouring the water.
Zatara is also real.
And the horses?
[intense music]
You should have told me earlier.
I talked so much trash about him.
You should have told me that this Zatara...
[suspenseful music]
[suspenseful music continues]
Shut up, guys.
Who are you telling to shut up?
They aren't talking.
Only dons can save us from Zatara.
Where will we get these dons?
What?
But there are no dons here.
They are right here.
He's Uday's brother Anna Shetty
and Majnu's brother Romeo.
Don?
The things these eyes have to see.
These guys are dons.
What are you guys doing?
Go and fight Zatara.
I won't interfere in this scene, nor the fight.
You can even keep these two heroines if you want.
You decide everything.
And don't touch my hair.
Are you guys crazy?
There's a difference between dons and terrorists.
We use bombs, but these guys blow themselves up.
We shoot first and then talk.
- But they shoot first... - And then talk?
No... they shoot first and then shoot some more.
But when do they talk?
Will you shut up?
We are dons.
He's a terrorist.
Mister, you were over there.
How did you get here so quickly?
Not fair.
Alright, fine, we'll go over there. Let's go.
[funny music]
[suspensful music]
Dev-Das... it's your responsibility to take us back alive.
One of you go talk to him.
Das, you're the eldest. You go talk to him.
Yes, Das. You go.
You go. Confidence. Confidence.
- All the best. - Come on.
Zatara. Let me explain.
Go ahead.
I think you are confused.
Let me clear your confusion.
There are two kinds of clouds in the sky.
The ones that rain... and the ones that thunder.
The clouds that bring rain never thunder.
They just rain.
[confusing music]
- And... - And what?
You said there are two kinds of clouds.
The ones that rain don't thunder.
What about the ones that thunder?
They just thunder.
One rains...
Why did you send him?
How's he supposed to explain anything?
Why?
He still hasn't managed to explain his own film.
- The cloud that rains. - Correct.
The cloud which thunders, only thunders.
Zatara sir. Zatara sir. Zatara sir.
Please don't listen to him.
I will explain the entire situation in two minutes.
[wind sound]
Can you hear anything?
It's as simple as that.
That's all.
I explained everything. Come on.
Everything will be alright.
What's wrong with you?
How can everything be fine?
Explained to him what?
You should have given him in writing instead.
You didn't say a word to him.
Who will go explain to him next?
Who will go? who will become the scapegoat?
Someone please.
[suspenseful music]
Paa ji, you go explain to him.
Even your name is Diler.
What Daler?
Calling oneself Diler doesn't make anyone brave.
Names don't mean a thing.
My wife's name is Shanti, but she keeps chattering all the time.
Her sister's name is Sharmili,
but I've never come across anyone as shameless as she.
I have a friend called Aakash but he lives on the ground floor.
You're absolutely right.
And this bloody blind guy.
He can't see a thing but his name is Nainsukh.
Names don't mean a thing.
You like to be Daler, don't you?
Then you go be Daler.
Go and fight.
His name is Daler and mine is Mehendi.
Go and fight.
Congratulations!
Wow.
Everyone's clapping, but who will go there?
You go!
You are sending everyone else to die.
You are International Khiladi (international player).
So go talk to them.
You can do it.
Go.
Alright.
I'll go.
- Go on. - I am going.
No, brother.
[crying]
[suspenseful music]
Either we survive, or he dies.
Sire... I am not a soldier.
I'm not a soldier.
We are flop actors, sir.
Flop actors?
We were told everything would be fake.
But when you shot him, we realised it was all real.
Forgive us.
And do you know who brought us here?
These two. These two.
These two brought us here.
They don't know anything.
Let me tell you one more thing.
Four of your men showed up in the morning.
You sent them.
Do you know who beat them up?
Them... these two beat them up.
These two.
- These two beat him up. - What are you doing?
- Rajeev, please... - They call themselves dons, sir.
Sir... what do you mean what's it called?
I'll tell Zatara everything.
- I am on your team. Leave me. - How will you save us?
They beat him up, sir.
And sir...
we've got nothing to do with patriotism, country, or soil.
You want to spread terror, right?
Let me show you.
Kill all the villagers. Kill all of them!
- Kill us. - Kill them all.
And sir, kill this man first.
Kill this old man, sir.
No one understands what this man says in Urdu.
What is the point of having language?
To understand each other.
But we can't understand a thing he says.
Even God would need subtitles for his Urdu.
He is right, bhai.
We can't understand a thing.
"Auntie is right."
What she's right!
And next...
Where is that old woman?
Kill this old woman.
She is crazy.
What she says, why she says or what for, no one understands.
[gibberish]
No one can understand what she is saying.
She has bloody faucets fitted in her eyes.
I want to punch her in the gut.
Exactly, bhai.
Then finally we'll hear her voice.
And then...
kill her next.
She cuts everyone's dialogue,
their fingers, and then she spits, sir!
She has no civic sense, sir.
She spreads germs, sir.
Full of germs.
Kill...
Sir... don't be angry.
Don't be angry, sir.
Let us go, sir.
We're clowns.
We act for a living, sire.
We perform stunts for money.
- We sing, dance... - Dance?
Do you like dancing?
Show me.
Manicure, pedicure. Come on.
- Come here. Quickly. - Is he calling us?
Go on, he's calling.
We'll show you our dance right away.
Don't mind.
♪ That tall, towering frame ♪
♪ and then you're stunning beyond compare ♪
♪ Your body dazzles and shines ♪
♪ you're the one I'm crazy for ♪
♪ You're the one I'm crazy for ♪
Wait. Stop.
Stop... He's getting angry.
Sir, should we show you something else?
Song... would you like to hear a song?
- Okay. - Daler ji. Daler ji.
Daler ji. Daler ji.
- Come over here. - Daler ji.
You must have heard about him... he's popular.
Daler Mehendi.
Sing now!
♪
Not a sad song.
[singing]
♪ Listen, Zatara chief, we don't know what says this Sardar ♪
♪ We're just petty artists ♪
♪ forgive us, sir ♪
♪ We have one wife, four kids ♪
♪ There's darkness before our eyes ♪
♪ we're TV artists and Bhojpuri artists ♪
♪ Let us go ♪
Rabbits!
He took out a bomb. Bomb!
[dramtaic music]
[dramtaic music continues]
[laughing]
He's happy. He's happy.
Your face looks familiar.
We just met a while ago.
Zatara sir. Do you watch flop films too?
Shut up.
I am laughing at you guys, not them.
You were trying to act brave by trusting these people.
They are clowns! Bloody clowns!
No, no...
Stop, Zatara.
Don't kill them!
They are innocent.
I'm ready to go with you.
No, no, Zoya.
Why are you surprised, Zatara?
Why am I doing this for their sake,
who neither came for us nor the humanity.
What is important is
Because one thing matters
And if saving their lives means sacrificing my honour...
Then I accept this deal.
Zatara, she is ready to sacrifice her honour.
Let us go.
Signal. Let's go. Come on.
Thank you.
[emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
I'm leaving now, but I'll be back at 5:30.
Handle the villagers until then.
Zoya.
Be ready.
[helicopter's sound]
Come on, guys. Come on.
We don't have time.
Helicopter is here.
Remember what I told you?
It's exactly like I told you.
Our destiny is our destiny,
and their destiny is their destiny...
Stop blaming destiny.
Zoya sacrificing herself for us was her decision.
And us running away like cowards was our decision.
Everyone knows that our decision is wrong!
In our hearts, we all know what we're doing is wrong.
I know. I know, but what next?
What do we do next?
We'll have to leave.
Yes, Rajeev is right.
We'll die if we stay here.
- We won't go. - Won't go?
Are you going to stay here?
What will we do even if we stay here?
We'll try to save the villagers.
For that, we have to fight Zatara.
He is a real terrorist!
With real weapons.
Courage is the biggest weapon.
Have you lost your mind, Sardar ji?
Do you want to go on a suicide mission?
They are three hundred and they are only three.
Not three, but four.
Four!
Including Dev, it's five.
Our father's dreams were we become a good director.
Whether we become good directors or not,
but we'll definitely be good human beings.
- We're not leaving. - He's right.
Rather than dying every day
we would die once doing a good deed.
We're not going. We're also staying.
What is wrong with all of you?
Only one... you guys stayed in that village for only one day,
and you're ready to give your life.
Go tell that to Zoya.
Even she spent one day with us.
What changed that she was willing to give her life for us?
Rajeev... even I am going with them.
I admit I'm not too bright,
but at least I know what's right and wrong.
Let him go, Jenny.
Even I am staying.
Nadia, don't be a fool.
You were a cheater.
But I realised what a coward you are.
Fine. Die. All of you die.
- Nainsukh, are you coming? - I'm staying.
I admit I'm blind, but I am not stupid.
Spare me the lecture.
Die. All of you die.
I am going.
You can either come with me or stay here and die!
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music continues]
Let's go. Hurry up. Come on.
[emotional music]
They went to save her, but she's come here herself.
Do you want to come too? Let's go.
Not me, take her.
I will survive one way or another,
but she will get a chance to live her life.
In the name of God.
Urvi. Just go.
I will come to you.
Go on. Go. Go...
[emotional music]
Urvi.
[emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
[dramatic music]
[neck breaking sound]
[dramatic music]
[fight breaks out]
[gun firing]
[intense action music]
Get out of here quickly!
[action music]
[emotional music]
[blast sound]
[rapid gunfire]
[gun trigger sound]
[dramatic music]
Hey.
Let's go.
Mother! Mother!
She is Zoya's daughter.
She lost her voice.
[emotional music]
Mother!
Don't kill them. They are innocent.
They are clowns! Bloody clowns!
We're running away like cowards.
We'll at least be good human beings!
Mother!
I won't let any harm come to this village.
I realised today what a coward you are.
Pilot... turn the helicopter around!
Let's go back!
Copy that.
[dramatic music]
[helicopter's sound]
- Once more... - Give it all you got!
Come on.
[helicopter's sound]
[rapid gunshots]
[thud]
[upbeat music]
[rapid gunfire]
Everyone go there.
- [rapid gunfire continue] - [upbeat music continues]
Hey, what are you doing?
- [head struck] - [head struck]
- [gunshot] - [thud]
[wall crashes]
[dramatic music]
[rapid gunfire]
Run.
Mother!
[emotional music]
Urvi.
- Urvi. - Mother!
What did you say?
Mother!
Say it again.
Mother!
Urvi! Thank God!
[thud]
Come on. Come on, Urvi!
- [rapid gunfire] - [scream]
I want to tell you something.
Rajeev wasn't wrong.
That night, you two fell for Diya's ruse.
You wouldn't have believed Rajeev if he had given clarification.
You misunderstood him.
He's a good guy.
Go on.
Rajeev...
[heartwarming music]
[thud]
[heartwarming music continues]
You are not a cheater.
I am not a coward either.
Another thing...
you've put on weight.
[laughter]
Bro, get back up if you're done.
Or we're dead.
We've reunited after five years,
give me some time for romance.
Let's get out of here, or we'll get killed.
- Let's go tell Zatara. - Come on.
What about the villagers you abandoned?
[emotional music]
Forgive me.
[gibberish]
[funny music]
Aunt...
Aunt is right.
How did he understand?
God knows what she's saying.
He didn't understand, by God.
O weeping mother...
Days of weeping have just begun...
For us?
For Zatara.
Don't worry, mother.
Zatara's that has started.
What's that?
That...
There he goes again.
We'll be done for if he starts that again.
That's not the issue.
We have to free the people of Azadganj.
- That's all. - Right.
And we have to get these villagers across the border.
Right.
We'll shoot anyone who gets in the way?
We might not have weapons, but we have courage.
Romeo's right.
Guys, guys, don't be crazy.
None of us will get out alive.
I have an idea.
We want weapons, not ideas.
I can take you to a place where you can get weapons.
Zatara keeps all his weapons in the warehouse nearby.
Then let's go there. Come on.
Let's go.
- Son. - Come on, grandma. Let's go.
[door creaks]
This is it. Zatara's weapon.
- Take this. - [music intensifies]
This is Zatara's warehouse.
- Are these real? - These are not props!
Remington 700.
M-19.
Anna, what's that?
Leave that. Look at this.
I've used guns and bazookas in my life, but nothing like this.
If this is beyond you,
then how will you fight Zatara?
Only the army can handle weapons like this.
- Where will we get these army personnel? - [thud]
- huh? - [funny music]
Only the army can handle weapons like this.
- Where will we get these army men-- - [thud]
Hey!
Are we doing comedy here?
Who made that sound?
- Was it you?- - No! ummm.
Uncle... why are you making that sound.
I haven't done anything.
Where is this sound coming from?
Down there.
But that's where pee comes from.
What behaviour is this?
Then where is the sound coming from?
The sound is coming from somewhere here.
Move it.
Get a tool.
Let me handle it. It's not your cup of tea.
- What are you doing? - [thud]
Idiot, aim the other way.
Alright, fine.
[thud]
- It's done. - Stop. Stop.
[chain rattles]
Lift it. Lift it. Come on.
What is happening?
Tunnel?
[thud]
[music intensifies]
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music continues]
Indian Army?
You...
are also from army?
[funny music]
I'll join if you want me to, sir.
Who are all of you?
And why are you here?
- To shoot. - Who?
Anyone who messes with us. We'll kill him.
We're actors. We came here to shoot a film.
We got stuck here because of Zatara.
But who are you guys?
We're the Indian Army.
I am Brigadier Karan.
I am Lieutenant Colonel Arjun.
Then you must be Duryodhan?
Arjun, Karan, Duryodhan.
Mahabharat?
♪ Mahabharat TV show theme song plays ♪
♪ Mahabharat TV show theme song continues ♪
- ♪ Mahabha-- ♪ - [funny sound]
Zatara held us captive here for 15 years.
Us and the general.
General?
- Where is the General? - [thud]
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music continues]
And he's our General sir.
Vishwajeet Kohli.
Major Vishwajeet Raj Kohli.
He went on a mission for India one day.
He's been missing in action for 15 years.
[dramatic music continues]
They both look that...
Sweet dish.
No... like those in films like Ram and Shyam.
- He's talking about double role. - Yes.
Father.
Father?
He's his father.
[speaks indistinctly] Rajeev.
My son.
[funny music]
I am so happy to see you.
The apple of my eye.
My darling son.
son?
My darling son.
What language is he speaking?
Father, you're lisping?
[funny music continues]
Yeth, son.
I raised my voice in front of enemies,
and they cut off my tongue.
[speaks in urdu]
[gibberish]
Zatara didn't cut her tongue which he should have,
but he cut off the poor general's tongue.
And his too.
Since then, I've been lisping.
[speaks indistinctly] All day I call a gun a bun.
Gun powder... bun powder
More so, I call the nations soil nations toil.
Enough, father. I cannot tolerate this anymore.
The less you speak, the better.
Enough.
Son... things will only be better
when we can set Azadganj free.
My brave warriors.
[speaks indistinctly]
But now
We'll have fun in jungle now.
it'th time for a showdown.
Excuse me, uncle.
What do you want to say?
We didn't understand a word you said.
Explain the meaning of any one. Enough.
jungle was all fun and games...
But general sir is trying to say,
now it's time for a showdown.
Got it.
Welcome...
Welcome to the Jungle.
[speak indistinctly] Welcome to the Jungle.
You're making fun of me.
No...
Welcome To The Jungle.
[clear voice] Those soldiers attacked us.
And also seized our weapons.
[dramatic music]
[speaks indistinctly] Hello. Indian Army calling.
Indian Army calling.
[clear voice] Hello. Major Vikrant Bakshi here.
This is General Vishwajeet Kohli speaking.
Which child got hold of this radio frequency?
[laughter]
Let me speak. He's my father.
The person you were talking to was our General Vishwajeet Kohli.
Vishwajeet Kohli.
He's the guy who has been missing for several years.
- Give me the phone, please. - Yes, sir.
This is General Avinash Singh here.
It's an honour. You are a living legend, sir.
We've heard about your feats.
We've escaped Zatara's captivity.
And we want to help the people of Azadganj cross the border.
It's great news that you guys are free.
[speaks indistinctly] Do you want to say something?
[clear voice] I am proud of you.
Azadganj?
Isn't this the same village whose people Zatara took hostage?
We'll pass through the jungle from Azadganj to reach the border.
But sir, the border is three kilometres from Azadganj.
- There's dense jungle in the way. - You're crazy. Give him the walkie.
Only after that will you reach the border.
Don't worry.
We'll get there.
And we'll be there in... two minutes.
Zero. Zero.
Twenty minutes.
As soon as we leave,
you call an air strike on Zatara and the jungle.
Turn the entire place into a grave with target bombing.
But, sir, if there's even a slight delay,
then your lives could be in danger.
There won't be any delay.
You have Vishwajeet Kohli's word!
And once Kohli gives his word, there's no taking it back.
The man's got no tongue. How's he supposed to give his word?
Hey...
General sir. General sir.
He's saying that even if our heads are chopped off,
even if it costs us our lives,
we'll say Welcome.
To the Jungle!
[explosions]
Tell me.
Zatara... they blew up our weapons
and released the soldiers we held captive for 15 years.
Now they are helping them.
Which way are they headed?
They are headed towards the border.
Kill them. Kill them all.
- [horses galloping] - [horses neighing]
[cars racing]
[intense music]
- [rapid gunfire] - [horses galloping]
[rapid gunfire continues]
[explosion]
No, no.
- Anna. - Rajeev.
Father!
- [dramatic music] - [glass breaks]
[explosion]
Come on.
May you have the years meant for me?
This is no time for coddling.
Come on. Everyone go.
Come on, let's go.
[intense music]
Sir, air base.
[warship approaches]
I want all aircraft to be lined up immediately.
Copy that, sir. Move the aircraft.
We have only 18 minutes.
That's an order!
- [gunshot] - [scream]
[emotional music]
Karan.
[intense music]
- [gunshot] - [rapid gunfire]
[explosion]
[engines roar] - [horses galloping]
- [indistinct crowd chatter] - Hey, hey, hey!
We're caught between a well and a ravine.
Where's the well?
Hang on. Where is the ravine?
Over here.
- [horses galloping] - [horses neighing]
Look... we have to do what every brave person does.
What?
We... have to hide.
- Hide. Hide. - [crowd noise]
- [horses galloping] - [horses neighing]
[gunshots]
[rapid gunfire]
[rapid gunfire continues]
[upbeat music]
- [upbeat music continues] - [gunshot]
[breathing heavily]
[cheering]
We'll become easy targets if we stay together.
We'll all die.
Yes, let's separate and meet at the border.
He's right. We'll meet at the border.
Alright. Let's go.
Chief, a lot of our men are dead.
It's getting difficult to stop them.
[intense music]
[intense music continues]
Who's over there, idiot?
Fall in line.
Follow me, everyone.
[tense music]
- Hey, terrorist? - Yes, sir.
- [gunshots] - [screams]
You would have been dead if you had gone any further.
Come on.
[rapid gunfire]
- [screams] - [engines roar]
- [rapid gunfire] - [engines roar]
- [action music] - [gunshots]
[engines roar]
Let's go.
[rapid gunfire]
[upbeat music]
[screams]
- [rapid gunfire] - [horses neighing]
[screams]
[playful music]
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- [thud] - [scream]
[action music]
[rapid gunfire]
- [fight] - [upbeat music]
Who are you guys?
Where do you come from?
Why do you come?
[rapid gunfire]
[upbeat music]
- [gunshot] - [explosion]
[dramatic music]
[whooping]
Hurry up, boys.
We have only 15 minutes.
[rapid gunfire]
Nainsukh, give me bullets.
Take it. Take it.
What am I supposed to do, hang them one by one?
Give me bullets.
I gave you a gun. Shoot them.
Why will you hang them?
[fight]
Give me something.
Here. Empty the whole magazine.
What is this? A lunch date?
- Look at me. - [thud]
Romeo. Someone's hitting me.
Romeo's hitting you.
Come on, or we'll all die.
[rapid gunfire] - [thud]
- [sad music] - Oh Lord...
You have to shoot them, not get shot.
Get the stretcher.
Look where you are shooting.
Are you blind?
The stretcher's here, brother. Lie down.
[action music]
[action music continues]
Don't lift that thing,
or you'll get crushed under it.
Don is here. Don is here.
[rapid gunfire]
I love it.
[explosion]
[rapid gunfire]
- Take this. - [funny music]
[fire blazing]
[screams]
What is this item, Anna?
It's flower. Flower.
- Yeah... it won't bloody douse. - It's Anna's firepower.
Jai Bhawani (Glory to Goddess Bhawani).
- Did you throw the grenade? - Yes, I did.
Then why didn't it explode?
I don't know.
- Fake stuff. - Guess it's a dud.
Sir... we cannot get
the villagers across the border in such a short time.
We have to buy some time, sir.
[speaks indistinctly] Give me the walkie-talkie.
Walkie-talkie?
But we don't have it.
General Kohli?
General Kohli, come in, please.
Why aren't they answering?
[intense music]
Girls!
[funny music]
I said girls.
So... even I'm a girl.
Alright... fine.
My mistake. [gibberish]
Okay. Okay.
Let's go.
[scream]
[romantic music playing]
- ♪ Stung by love ♪ - [scream]
It's girls. Pricked by a thorn.
♪ My love ♪
♪ Under the tree, in your backyard ♪
- ♪ My love ♪ - [screams]
Come on! Come on!
♪ Got stung by love ♪
♪ Under the tree, in your backyard ♪
♪ My love ♪
Old hag.
I should shoot this old hag first.
She foiled the entire plan.
♪ Come my love ♪
♪ Under the tree, in your backyard ♪
♪ My love ♪
Come on. Come on.
- ♪ Got stung by love ♪ - [rapid gunfire]
[rapid gunfire continues]
- [rapid gunfire continues] - [screams]
- [thud] - [whooping]
[animal growls]
[funny music]
[gorilla growls]
[funny music continues]
[screams]
Hey, Gorilla.
I'm just taking one banana. What's wrong with you?
I'm not the guy from Hera-Pheri.
Run, run...
- [horse neighing] - [thud]
- [rapid gunfire] - [explosion]
[screams]
[intense music]
[intense music continues]
What is this place?
Rajeev and Anna both found their dad.
Dad.
[heavy footsteps]
Anna... your father.
What father?
It's me, you fool.
Anna. Anna.
Anna?
[funny music]
[buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
[screams]
Zatara!
- Come out. - [rapid gunfire]
- Come out. - [rapid gunfire continues]
If you're a terrorist,
then you don't know who I am.
No one can stop him now. He's gone.
That's fine.
But he's high and charging toward the village.
[rapid gunfire continues]
You don't know who I am!
- Oh Lord! - [Gorrila growls]
Isn't that Dubey?
But why is he running in front of the Gorilla?
The Gorilla is running after him.
Meaning?
Do you know who I am?
I am that.
There he goes again.
Shut him down.
Why are you after me?
Run away.
Anna. We all know you're the don.
But he is not listening.
- Him. - [gorilla chest-beating and grunting]
[thud]
One take, okay.
[crowd noise]
Come on, come on, move forward.
Abdullah, look. We've reached the border.
Once these people reach the border.
[soft music]
[soft music continues]
Thank you.
We'll do the action asap, sir. Over and out, sir.
- Come on, boys. - Yes, sir.
let's move, let's move, let's move.
Move. Move.
Come on. Come here!
Let's go, come on.
Very thankful to you.
I can never understand what the people of this village say.
- She was wishing good for you. - I know, I know.
[soft music]
BSF...open the doors.
Let's take them in.
[door opens]
[emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
[dramatic music continues]
[funny music]
My great India.
You mean great India.
Yes, Auntie is right. India is great.
[emotional music]
[emotional music continues]
Urvi! Urvi!
Urvi!
Hey, general.
Come out.
For fifteen years, you were in a hole.
Father!
Father!P
- What happened? - Father.
Father.
[action music]
[action music continues]
[fighter jet taking off]
Maybe father is still in the jungle.
Zoya's daughter is also in there.
Father.
- Stay back. Back... - My father's still there.
Father...
My daughter!
[intense music]P
[action music]
[action music continues]
My daughter got left behind.
Father!
[action music]
[laughter]
- [speaking indistinctly] Run, dear. - What?
- Run. Run. -What?
Run, you...
- Stop. - [intense music]
[action music]
- [action music continues] - [fighter jets flying]
[action music continues]
[fighter jets flying]
[dramatic music playing]
Father!
[action music playing]
[intense music playing]
- [intense music continues] - [thud]
[fighter jets flying]
[explosions]
[soft music]
[soft music continues]
[emotional music]
Mother!
Urvi.
[emotional music continues]
[sobs]
[speaks in urdu]
Uncle, he's already sad.
Don't make him any sadder.
- [funny music] - hmm.
[emotional music continues]
- [speaks indistinctly] What happened? - It's terrible.
What happened, mister?
I don't have any change. Go on.
[sobs]
You cannot leave us like this.
You cannot die like this.
Once a man gone, he gone, son.
But who died?
My father.
We met after 15 years and died in 15 minutes.
If your father'th dead, who am I?
He's lost it!
Father. Father is alive.
My father is alive.
Father is alive...
Father will die like this, son.
Enough, son.
Father is alive. Father is alive.
- What are you having? Give me. - Betel nut.
[soft music]
Thank you very much.
You saved my daughter's life.
May God...
May God, keep you happy always.
Dear Zoya... May God...
always protects your daughter...
[funny music]
If you want to thank anyone, then thank them.
They risked their lives to save the villagers.
And...
- What happened? - Nothing?
You lisp? How did you speak clearly?
[spits]
[speaks indistinctly] Bloody idiots.
You have no sense at all.
Oh... betel nut.
Did you understand?
No, you didn't understand. Let me explain.
When you chew betel nut,
whoever speaks properly, starts lisping.
But he was lisping.
When he chewed betel nut,
he started speaking properly.
Understood?
[dramatic music playing]
[footsteps]
Put the betel nut back, father.
Otherwise, you'll lose the honour you're about to get from the general.
He's right.
[dramatic music continues]
Better late than never. We missed you.
Welcome back.
I always knew, sir, the country is in safe hands.
Yup.
[chewing]
Bad manners.
Spit it out.
Sorry.
- [spits] - [funny music]
[speaks indistinctly] I had some betel nut...
- Oh God. - Oh God.
And just like that, years of fake hard work finally paid off.
We were heroes on screen,
but suddenly we also became national heroes too.
And the movie we made became a blockbuster.
It became the biggest money spinner of the year.
And then... money-money and more money.
Here we go.
Money...
♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
♪ Welcome To The Jungle ♪
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Her money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
♪ Everyone's money is my money ♪
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Her money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
♪ Everyone's money is my money ♪
♪ Lay an eye on my money ♪
♪ and I'll make you regret ♪
♪ You can cast a spell on me ♪
♪ but you can't get this money out of my clutches ♪
I am feeling dizzy.
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Their money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
♪ Everyone's money is my money ♪
♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
- Get lost. Come on. - ♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
♪ Head or tails, they all belong to me ♪
♪ I own all the IPL teams ♪
♪ I can give millions and wipe out poverty ♪
♪ Look how rich I am, with gold, I play holi ♪
♪ If I want, I can live off money every day. ♪
♪ I'm getting hungrier ♪
Hey Rajiv, open it!
♪ Money draws me closer ♪
♪ like I am after money ♪
♪ Give us your money, like you'd give your family ♪
Easy there.
♪ I'd snatch your money ♪
♪ Money gives me peace ♪
♪ The only hobby I keep ♪
Money and only money.
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Their money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
♪ Everyone's money is my money ♪
♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
♪ I am crazy about money, my love is diamond-ruby ♪
♪ I pounce on money ♪
♪ like money is my duty ♪
Deduct 50 rupees for overacting.
♪ Life and death is money ♪
♪ Money steals my sleep ♪
♪ I have only one hobby ♪
Money and only money.
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Their money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
♪ Everyone's money is my money ♪
♪ Your money is my money ♪
♪ Their money is my money ♪
♪ His money is my money ♪
Everyone's money is my money.
♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
Remove from your pocket thief.
Move.
♪ Money-Money-Money ♪
Song over.
Money devoured.
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
Potatoes... on sale.
♪ Welcome ♪
Onions... on sale.
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
What is it?
Do it properly. What are you doing?
You do yours.
♪ The intoxication of love ♪
♪ Come taste it, sweetheart ♪
♪ Don't worry about tomorrow ♪
♪ come and dance with me... dance slow ♪
♪ My buddies on my side ♪
♪ nothing to worry about ♪
♪ Enjoy this life ♪
♪ come and dance with me... dance slow ♪
♪ It's time to have fun, why stop yourself ♪
♪ rock your body and some ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everybody, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everybody, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ A I O, go with the flow ♪
♪ Welcome to the party ♪
♪ Yo, my bro, gonna steal the show ♪
♪ We're gonna rock the body ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
Sister is right.
♪ If you enter my party ♪
♪ Darling, you won't want to leave ♪
♪ I'll cast a spell on you, my love ♪
♪ You'll lose yourself in my vibe ♪
♪ You're a bit crazy, I'm a bit crazy ♪
♪ crazy is this ambience ♪
♪ It's time to have fun, why stop yourself ♪
♪ rock your body and some ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
- Forget her, look at your father. - ♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
- Amazing. Fantastic. - ♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
Father.
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everybody, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
Miracle-Miracle!
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ Welcome to the jungle welcome ♪
♪ Welcome, everyone, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome, to the party, come welcome ♪
♪ Welcome-welcome-welcome ♪