WEBVTT
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I did it!
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Holy shit!
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It…
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was…
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awesome.
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Start from the top!
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I walked into school this morning.
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And then I see Colin Corwin.
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- Yeah!
- Somebody said you got a new friend
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Does she love you better than I can?
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Jill tastes like beef jerky.
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I see you told everyone
how you begged me to suck face.
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- Classy!
- Ooh!
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Sorry, Jill, but I'm not
gonna be your boyfriend.
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- Oh!
- Don't flatter yourself, Colin Corwin.
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I regretted you the second
your sweaty slug lips touched mine.
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Hey, Jill, does your sister taste
like beef jerky too,
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or just… cancer?
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Cold.
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I'm just gonna dance all night…
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Fight! Fight! Fight!
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You're gonna be in so much trouble.
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Mr. Corwin!
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You cry like a little bitch.
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He asked if I tasted like cancer?
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That's it?
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I'd rather have cancer
than cystic fibrosis.
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Boys are just so embarrassing.
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Well, congratulations. You're suspended.
02:30.938 --> 02:31.896
Again.
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Welcome to
the culinary motherland, San Francisco.
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I just gotta see it for myself
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I'm in the corner
Watching you kiss her
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Oh
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Turmeric.
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Pistachio, fruit of the gods!
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Oh!
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I'm giving it my all--
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Back away, girls! Out of the way!
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We shoulda had boys.
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You see, the antibiotics aren't working
as well as we'd hoped.
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Hi.
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Izzy, listen. It's Robyn.
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On my own…
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- Ready?
- Ready!
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On my own
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So far away, but still so near…
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Do you really need to go out?
It's your last New Year's with us.
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I know.
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It's also my last New Year's
with my friends.
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- I know.
- Bye, love you!
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- Be safe.
- Mwah! Bye!
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- Love you.
- To say goodbye
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You ready?
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15 minutes to midnight, bitches!
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I'm sorry. I have gotta go. I can't…
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- I'm so sorry.
- No.
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That was so fun.
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- Sorry. Pardon me. Excuse me.
- I'm giving it my all
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But I'm not the girl
You're taking home…
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Three, two, one!
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Happy New Year!
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I have my knife skills test tomorrow,
and there's just no way for me
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to make it in time and I am so, so sorry.
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Holy sh…
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Don't worry, my lad.
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Pretty soon, you'll be headed
to the culinary motherland!
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Dancing on my own…
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He thought it was gonna happen
in 2029, 30 years ago,
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so if we can just…
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Oh, you're looking at my eye.
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- Your eye? What?
- Yeah. I look like Sloth from The Goonies.
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- No, you don't.
- I know.
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- No, you don't.
- Don't worry. It's…
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It's just pink eye.
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Well, I'm pretty sure
pink eye is, like, super contagious.
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No, that's just a common misconception.
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No, really, I think it is.
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Fake news made up by Big Pharma.
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Trust me.
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Your eyes, on the other hand,
are super beautiful.
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Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
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And then he smears butt particles
all over my face.
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My face is a butthole.
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Call me tomorrow, please.
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I'm up.
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I'm just young enough
To be a little numb and dumb
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Not sure how I feel
But I'm sure I've seen enough
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Enough that the world
Would miss me a little
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Would they say I--
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Here we are, here we are
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Here we are, here we are
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Hey
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Hey
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Here we are, here we are
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It's like I'm almost happy
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It's like I'm almost happy
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Bonjour!
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Chef Bastien, who is your favorite chef?
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Who is my favorite chef? That is easy.
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It is ma mère.
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She is so beautiful, she is dead.
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Your performance on Top Chef
changed my life.
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Ow.
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Geoffrey! Eyes on your cake!
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Get!
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Look at me. Don't look at me.
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Look at me.
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Never look at me!
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Did you just look at me?
Did you just make eye contact with me?
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No, Chef.
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Oh!
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Maybe try saying "corner" next time.
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- You okay?
- Yeah.
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Eight hours deseeding
and slicing kumquats?!
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Culinary waterboarding.
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I can't even remember
the last time I actually made anything,
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other than my brekkie burrito.
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All I do is measure, deseed, slice,
and pray for the sweet release of death.
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An AI robot could
do my job better than me.
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You were built for this, my dude.
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Let a mofo know.
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I will let a mofo know I am homesick,
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I'm almost out of savings,
and there's nowhere for me to go
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unless a baker quits or retires or dies.
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All right, fine, you crazy son of a bitch.
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I will fly to San Fran
and murder one of the bakers with you.
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How would we do it?
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Well, obviously, we'd wrap
my oxygen cord around his neck.
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Wow, you answered that so quickly.
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Wait, speaking of lack
of oxygen to the brain,
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I'm getting drinks
with Equinox Ethan tomorrow.
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Isn't that the guy who thinks
that babies can breathe underwater?
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He's neurospicy.
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Have a little healthy self-love, my guy.
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Eh…
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You've gotta get on Hinge.
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It's amazing.
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Except for the part where you feel
like a hideous, unlovable troll
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that might match with Ted Bundy.
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I've never been drier.
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I think I'd rather
just live vicariously through you.
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Perfect.
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- Hello?
- Yeah. I'm here.
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- Hi.
- No…
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I have to tell you something.
Don't freak out.
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What?
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Test results came back.
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- Why didn't you call me?
- I literally just did.
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They're, uh…
listing me for a lung transplant.
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It's lookin' pretty dire.
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They don't know
what they're talking about.
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I mean, they've been wrong
every single step of the way.
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You're fine, because…
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Because you're a superhero.
Have they still not figured that out yet?
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Yeah, I guess not.
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- Tsk. I'm gonna come home.
- No.
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- I'll look up flights now.
- No.
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It's not because of the results.
I miss you. I need to see you.
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You're gonna be home
in three weeks for turkey.
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- For the weekend.
- If you do, I will kick you in the tit.
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You'll never make baker if you fly home
every time they give us shit news.
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- No, I'm--
- You are being so dramatic.
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- I'm not being dramatic!
- This is not A Walk to Remember.
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But is it A Fault in Our Stars?
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Shailene would def play me in my biopic.
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- But no.
- Okay, fine.
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But I'll see you in three weeks. Turkey!
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Jill?
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Yes, my lad?
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You're the most lovable person
I've ever known.
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If you're a bird, I'm a bird, brother.
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Call me tomorrow?
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Night.
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Good night.
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Jill, look, I want
to be absolutely translucent.
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- "Transparent"?
- That too.
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Uh, listen,
I am down to, like, hang,
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but not for anything, like, intense.
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- Oh…
- But I am 100% committed to--
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Penetration?
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Yes!
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Oh, my God, yes. Yeah.
We are, like, on the same wavelength.
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We are just over here,
finishing each other's--
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Minds!
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I'm gonna take this.
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Jill, honey,
you need to come home right now.
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Call me when you get this.
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Mom, I'm here.
What's going on? How is she?
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Talk to me. What's going on?
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- What are they saying?
- She crashed suddenly.
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Okay.
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Her oxygen levels dropped.
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She didn't make it.
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Izzy didn't make it.
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Okay. What are they saying?
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Jill, honey…
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Mom, where is she?
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She didn't make it, honey.
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I'm here. Where is she?
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Where is she?
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- Jill, honey…
- Where is she?
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- Jill.
- Izzy?
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Izzy was dealt…
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a bullshit hand.
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But she never ever complained.
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She was beyond that.
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And she believed in angels and fate.
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In an "order" of things.
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I think she would
have really loved Burning Man.
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So, um… today,
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rather than eviscerating this…
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order of things that I don't understand,
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um, I'm gonna try my best.
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I'm gonna try my best
to make lemonade, like Izzy.
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And Beyoncé.
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Isabelle could have been alive
a thousand years ago,
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or a thousand years from now,
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but what are the chances
that in all of time, space, humanity,
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she was alive with us, right?
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With me.
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How lucky are we?
And not only did she and I meet.
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But…
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But we got to eat pancakes.
15:36.938 --> 15:40.313
We got to… wiggle out
our little baby teeth together.
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We got to paint each other's toenails.
15:47.896 --> 15:49.605
We got to be sisters.
15:52.021 --> 15:53.855
We got to be sisters.
15:54.521 --> 15:59.855
Built a home
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For you
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For me
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Until it disappeared
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From me
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From you
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My brother in Christ.
We miss you on Whore Island.
16:36.021 --> 16:39.188
My brother in Christ.
We miss you on Whore Island.
16:39.271 --> 16:42.480
Don't forget.
You're more beautiful than Cinderella.
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You smell like pine needles,
and you have a face like sunshine.
16:47.063 --> 16:50.688
When I look at you, my heart is filled
with purple and pink fireworks.
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Be ungovernable.
16:51.771 --> 16:53.396
You gotta flop to fly.
16:53.480 --> 16:57.188
We could open a chowder spot
and call it "Bisquey Business."
16:57.271 --> 17:00.730
I just drank all of Mom's rosé
and DMed Jacob Elordi.
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Maybe he'll think I'm a Make-a-Wish kid.
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Good night, lad. I love you.
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Call me.
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Who is that?
17:56.771 --> 17:59.355
I don't know. I just got a new work cell.
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Yo, Isabella!
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It is I, your brother.
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I'm sitting here at my bench.
18:10.771 --> 18:14.188
I'm looking out at the Golden Gate Bridge.
It's a beautiful night.
18:14.271 --> 18:16.438
I'm drinking champagne…
18:17.521 --> 18:18.896
out of a brown paper bag,
18:18.980 --> 18:21.521
and I am missing you.
18:22.105 --> 18:24.563
Oh, my God, I hate this place.
18:24.646 --> 18:26.605
Where are our weirdos, man?
18:26.688 --> 18:33.605
You know, I thought SF was gonna be
full of rock-and-roll hippies in drag
18:33.688 --> 18:37.438
who love pot and Journey and burritos.
18:37.521 --> 18:40.980
But where the hell is the José's here?
Where are the…?
18:41.063 --> 18:45.480
And whose dick do I have to suck
18:45.563 --> 18:49.188
to get a breakfast taco around here?!
18:50.646 --> 18:54.271
I love you, brother.
18:54.355 --> 18:58.855
You are such a bitch for leaving
before I could tell you that.
19:04.813 --> 19:06.730
We need to talk about boundaries.
19:17.688 --> 19:20.813
- Good night, Arthur. See you tomorrow.
- Good night, see ya.
19:20.896 --> 19:22.396
- Hey, Jill?
- Yeah?
19:24.313 --> 19:25.396
You wanna grab a drink?
19:26.980 --> 19:30.355
So, that was a sorta long-ass vacation
you took, Jill.
19:30.438 --> 19:32.480
Oh, my sister sorta…
19:33.313 --> 19:34.396
died.
19:34.480 --> 19:35.938
- Dang.
- Yeah.
19:36.021 --> 19:38.021
Jill, that is hella sad.
19:38.105 --> 19:40.355
Thanks, yeah. So how have you been?
19:40.980 --> 19:44.188
Amazing. Life is just… perfect.
19:44.271 --> 19:48.313
Everything is working for me, Jill.
Everything is exactly where it should be.
19:49.021 --> 19:49.896
How are you?
19:49.980 --> 19:51.688
I'm done, Wes.
19:51.771 --> 19:54.021
- With your cider, or…?
- With us.
19:54.105 --> 19:56.480
What? We're just getting
to know each other.
19:57.105 --> 19:58.980
You've been inside of me for six months.
19:59.063 --> 20:03.855
Pastries, baking,
it's a chick thing, traditionally.
20:03.938 --> 20:05.438
But that's so sexist, right?
20:05.521 --> 20:07.980
Because I can do anything my mom can do.
20:09.146 --> 20:13.646
I am trying to hold space
for your brokenness.
20:14.313 --> 20:16.688
But I deserve secure attachment,
20:17.271 --> 20:20.813
not someone who love bombs me
like I'm on The Bachelor,
20:20.896 --> 20:26.021
and then the moment that I catch feels
brings me to Buffalo Wild Wings.
20:26.105 --> 20:27.855
- You said you liked wings.
- I lied!
20:29.355 --> 20:31.646
Excuse me, can I get one of those?
Thank you so much.
20:31.730 --> 20:32.855
Cheers!
20:34.896 --> 20:37.271
God, you're so beautiful.
20:37.355 --> 20:39.855
You're like easily a 6.5.
20:40.563 --> 20:43.063
Like, an SF 6.5, a Kansas ten.
20:43.146 --> 20:45.688
- Do you want another shot?
- Can we get… one more of those?
20:45.771 --> 20:47.480
I just wanna hear you say it, Wes.
20:47.563 --> 20:49.230
You don't know how to love.
20:49.813 --> 20:53.188
That's… No. I don't think that-- Britt.
20:54.021 --> 20:56.313
- Britt, listen. Hey, stop.
- Stop.
20:56.396 --> 20:59.521
I'm sorry. I can't claim to understand
20:59.605 --> 21:02.771
all the ways that my trauma
has affected me,
21:02.855 --> 21:05.855
but I know that…
21:06.480 --> 21:08.188
I'm genuinely sorry.
21:10.438 --> 21:13.730
Are you a man? 'Cause I'm a bitch
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You're strong.
21:15.063 --> 21:16.938
You've been a bad boy.
21:20.480 --> 21:22.063
- Don't touch my hair.
- Okay. Sorry.
21:22.146 --> 21:23.521
Joyride
21:23.605 --> 21:24.938
Joyride
21:25.021 --> 21:27.188
I'm just looking for a good time
21:27.771 --> 21:30.646
Tell me everything's gonna be okay.
21:33.105 --> 21:35.146
Everything's gonna be okay.
21:35.230 --> 21:36.521
Hm?
21:36.605 --> 21:37.688
Say it again.
21:37.771 --> 21:39.855
No, I can't. I…
21:39.938 --> 21:41.396
To be honest, I don't…
21:42.396 --> 21:45.730
Between climate change
and the unraveling of democracy,
21:45.813 --> 21:47.938
I don't really think that everything is…
21:52.813 --> 21:54.980
- Tell me.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
21:59.396 --> 22:01.730
Oh!
22:10.021 --> 22:11.438
Sorry.
22:11.521 --> 22:12.980
Joyride
22:17.188 --> 22:18.355
What's up, babe?
22:18.438 --> 22:19.271
Hey.
22:19.355 --> 22:23.355
So, I cannot stop thinking
about last night.
22:23.438 --> 22:24.396
Oh!
22:24.480 --> 22:27.771
Yeah. I got several noise complaints.
22:28.563 --> 22:29.396
Did you?
22:29.480 --> 22:31.271
What do you say tonight…
22:32.480 --> 22:35.896
my bear claw goes in your croissant?
22:36.688 --> 22:40.021
No.
22:40.105 --> 22:41.938
No. No, you can't handle this.
22:48.730 --> 22:50.771
No? Isn't…?
22:52.646 --> 22:53.605
- Hey.
- I feel sick.
22:53.688 --> 22:55.605
No, I'm sorry.
22:55.688 --> 22:59.521
No, it's good. I'm good. We're good, 'kay?
22:59.605 --> 23:01.105
- Okay.
- Jill.
23:01.188 --> 23:02.813
I'm cool.
23:02.896 --> 23:05.271
Cool as a kumquat.
23:10.521 --> 23:13.938
You used me like a human dildo.
23:14.021 --> 23:15.813
And you kicked me to the curb.
23:15.896 --> 23:18.688
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about what you did.
23:18.771 --> 23:21.896
- What I did? I--
- You're… You gaslit me.
23:21.980 --> 23:23.271
And you're gonna regret it.
23:26.396 --> 23:27.480
Um…
23:27.563 --> 23:31.730
I've found a reason to exist
23:31.813 --> 23:36.063
Begging not to go extinct
23:36.146 --> 23:38.813
Do what you saw
23:47.021 --> 23:49.730
Fefe, I got you a triple-shot latte
to thank you.
23:49.813 --> 23:53.355
Shh! That was the last time, Wes.
23:53.438 --> 23:54.896
It's a felony.
23:54.980 --> 23:55.980
Reading texts?
23:56.063 --> 23:59.396
Hacking someone's texts for insider info
to sell commercial real estate?
24:00.021 --> 24:01.771
- Yes, a felony.
- I don't--
24:01.855 --> 24:03.105
In all 50 states.
24:03.188 --> 24:06.063
Including Idaho,
where cannibalism is legal.
24:06.146 --> 24:07.521
I'm out, Wes.
24:07.605 --> 24:10.730
You're gonna have to stalk people
the same way as everyone else.
24:10.813 --> 24:11.646
Instagram.
24:11.730 --> 24:13.396
All right, no, I see the play.
24:13.480 --> 24:15.021
I will pay you double
24:15.105 --> 24:19.355
and then you can buy yourself
more sweater vests or Pokémon cards or--
24:19.438 --> 24:20.355
Pokémon?
24:20.438 --> 24:23.021
You know what?
I'm done being your little hacker boy.
24:23.105 --> 24:29.480
So you can take your lattes
and your shiny teeth back upstairs.
24:30.105 --> 24:32.480
Okay. All right. Understood.
24:34.313 --> 24:35.480
I appreciate you, Fefe.
24:35.563 --> 24:38.938
Uh, he's in a meeting right now.
Can I take a message?
24:39.021 --> 24:40.855
Okay, sure. Just call back.
24:40.938 --> 24:42.771
It's Felix!
24:47.188 --> 24:51.021
Oh, my God. You went on that date
with the guy with the pink eye.
24:51.105 --> 24:53.480
Yeah, that's me.
24:54.063 --> 24:55.605
It's been weeks, I bet his eye's healed.
24:55.688 --> 24:57.438
Maybe I should hit him up
for a second date?
24:57.521 --> 25:01.605
No, that was a joke.
I'm actually on a… dick cleanse.
25:02.521 --> 25:07.105
A D-tox, if you will.
Patiently awaiting my gay awakening.
25:07.188 --> 25:10.480
- Did you know what you wanted?
- I'll have a mocha to go. Please. Thanks.
25:13.230 --> 25:14.480
Ever been stood up?
25:16.355 --> 25:19.355
- Oh, are you talking to me?
- I overheard your conversation.
25:19.438 --> 25:20.355
Oh, great.
25:20.438 --> 25:21.896
Have I been stood up?
25:22.521 --> 25:23.730
Actually, no.
25:23.813 --> 25:26.813
So… I still have that to look forward to.
25:26.896 --> 25:28.313
Well, I have you beat, then.
25:28.396 --> 25:30.438
I am currently being stood up.
25:30.521 --> 25:32.063
- On a day date?
- Yeah.
25:32.146 --> 25:32.980
Yikes.
25:33.063 --> 25:33.980
Yikes is right.
25:34.563 --> 25:35.563
Sorry.
25:39.688 --> 25:41.813
Would you maybe want to join me?
25:43.105 --> 25:47.313
Please. I don't think my fragile male ego
could handle another rejection today.
25:49.271 --> 25:50.188
Um, what's your name?
25:50.271 --> 25:51.146
Tyler Riordan.
25:51.230 --> 25:52.438
Jill Shaw.
25:52.521 --> 25:53.688
- Lady Shaw.
- Thanks.
25:53.771 --> 25:57.313
Tyler Riordan sounds so familiar.
Are you a tech founder?
25:58.313 --> 25:59.271
Not smart enough.
25:59.355 --> 26:00.230
Actor?
26:00.313 --> 26:02.271
Hmph! Not pretty enough.
26:02.355 --> 26:04.271
Oh, you're not pretty enough?
26:04.355 --> 26:06.021
Okay. So you're an influencer.
26:07.605 --> 26:09.730
The irony is palpable.
26:09.813 --> 26:10.855
Wait.
26:10.938 --> 26:14.355
You have the, um, dating podcast.
26:14.438 --> 26:16.105
You're the dating guy.
26:16.188 --> 26:18.980
Hi! Nice to meet you, Tyler Riordan.
26:19.063 --> 26:20.146
Oh, my God.
26:20.230 --> 26:24.605
Tyler, my phone died, and I had
to find my way back from the East Bay.
26:24.688 --> 26:27.646
I completely raw-dogged it with my mind.
26:27.730 --> 26:29.730
No worries. I ran into a friend.
26:31.730 --> 26:33.313
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
26:34.021 --> 26:36.313
Well, nice to see you, friend.
Have a seat.
26:36.396 --> 26:37.938
No, no, no. We can get another table.
26:38.021 --> 26:40.063
No, no, no, please. Please sit.
26:40.146 --> 26:43.438
Um, I'm just gonna grab my stuff.
26:43.980 --> 26:45.480
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
26:45.563 --> 26:48.230
Take your seat. I've warmed it up for you.
26:48.313 --> 26:50.230
- I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna… Yeah.
- Yeah.
26:50.313 --> 26:52.021
Cool. Bye.
26:52.105 --> 26:53.063
Jill!
26:54.521 --> 26:55.480
Hi.
26:56.105 --> 26:58.813
I figured I could let you leave.
Then I'd have to go home,
26:58.896 --> 27:02.563
get on Craigslist, and write a post
on Missed Connections. Very early 2000s.
27:03.813 --> 27:05.646
Or I could just run out on my date,
27:05.730 --> 27:08.188
chase you down the street,
and ask you for your number,
27:08.271 --> 27:10.313
which now that I say it out loud…
27:10.396 --> 27:12.688
uh, maybe Craigslist was the move.
27:14.855 --> 27:16.938
I'm swearing off men, remember?
27:17.021 --> 27:20.271
- The whole D-tox thing, so…
- Yes. D-toxing. Right.
27:20.355 --> 27:21.396
I can't.
27:22.605 --> 27:26.313
- Nice to meet you.
- Well, how about I give you my number?
27:28.646 --> 27:29.646
Okay.
27:57.688 --> 27:59.855
Izzy?
28:03.646 --> 28:07.563
It was some Notting Hill,
frickin' Bridget Jones shit.
28:07.646 --> 28:09.313
Please get ready.
28:09.396 --> 28:10.396
You know what he was?
28:10.480 --> 28:13.688
He was Bri-hi-ti-hish
28:13.771 --> 28:16.146
from foggy London town.
28:16.230 --> 28:19.146
Actually, I don't know if he was
from London, but I'm gonna pause
28:19.230 --> 28:21.021
so that you can finish masturbating.
28:32.938 --> 28:34.063
Good work, Wes.
28:34.146 --> 28:35.480
Thank you, sir.
28:35.563 --> 28:37.480
- Close her up.
- You got it.
28:37.563 --> 28:38.730
All right.
28:44.563 --> 28:45.396
Jill.
28:45.480 --> 28:46.521
Hey, psst!
28:47.980 --> 28:49.771
Fuck you.
28:50.521 --> 28:51.355
Line up!
28:53.146 --> 28:54.896
I have a little bit of a puzzle.
28:54.980 --> 28:57.938
Zella, Bastien à la crème.
28:58.021 --> 28:59.563
What are the ingredients?
28:59.646 --> 29:03.146
All-purpose flour, almond flour,
powdered and granulated sugar, whole egg,
29:03.230 --> 29:06.438
cream, unsalted butter,
vanilla bean, and salt, Chef.
29:07.646 --> 29:09.271
Did you say "human hair"?
29:09.355 --> 29:10.563
No, I did not, Chef.
29:10.646 --> 29:13.688
That puts me in a real snickerdoodle.
29:27.730 --> 29:29.480
Oh, now, wait a second.
29:29.980 --> 29:32.021
Kirby, why do I see
29:32.105 --> 29:36.730
one of your radioactive
Chucky-doll pubes in my tart?
29:37.355 --> 29:39.396
That is not mine.
29:40.313 --> 29:41.563
That's not yours?
29:41.646 --> 29:44.605
Right there, on the little titty… part.
29:45.146 --> 29:46.230
- No.
- No?
29:46.313 --> 29:49.438
Oh, did Little Orphan Annie
come into my kitchen last night
29:49.521 --> 29:51.813
and shed her ginger ass on this tart?
29:52.688 --> 29:53.688
I don't know.
29:53.771 --> 29:55.313
- You don't know?
- Mm-mm.
29:59.480 --> 30:02.021
It was so unhinged, my dude.
30:02.105 --> 30:03.146
But…
30:04.146 --> 30:05.646
there is a silver lining.
30:06.438 --> 30:08.813
Or shall I say a ginger lining?
30:08.896 --> 30:11.688
Damn, Jilleth. I know. Too soon.
30:11.771 --> 30:14.021
Look, I take no pleasure in saying this,
30:14.688 --> 30:18.480
but the baker position is now open!
30:20.646 --> 30:21.896
Finally!
30:23.063 --> 30:26.396
But what are the qualifications
to host a podcast?
30:26.480 --> 30:27.855
- Qualifications?
- Yes.
30:27.938 --> 30:29.063
- There are none.
- Really?
30:29.146 --> 30:31.105
- Thought so.
- I'm virtually skill-less.
30:31.646 --> 30:34.188
I just think that the dating game
has gotten somewhat toxic.
30:34.271 --> 30:36.105
I don't know, it's going great for me.
30:36.188 --> 30:37.980
Haven't been murdered yet.
30:38.813 --> 30:40.021
Well, the night is young.
30:43.105 --> 30:45.105
Tell me about your work, Chef.
30:46.063 --> 30:49.688
Well, I don't want
to flex on you too hard, but, uh…
30:50.396 --> 30:52.521
I am the kumquat girl of Flâner.
30:53.438 --> 30:55.605
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
30:55.688 --> 30:56.605
- I'm impressed.
- Mm-hm.
30:56.688 --> 30:58.813
Though I'm not entirely sure
what a kumquat is.
30:58.896 --> 31:03.646
They're like very tiny,
very annoying oranges.
31:03.730 --> 31:05.105
- Ah.
- And I am their leader.
31:07.438 --> 31:09.063
Yes. Wait.
31:09.146 --> 31:11.146
Flâner? Isn't that the fellow
from Top Chef?
31:11.230 --> 31:15.021
Chef Bastien. I'm currently in a battle
to the death to become his new baker,
31:15.105 --> 31:18.271
in the hopes that, one day,
I do actually get to bake.
31:18.355 --> 31:20.396
Well, take no prisoners, kumquat girl.
31:21.480 --> 31:22.980
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
31:23.063 --> 31:24.021
Of course.
31:24.521 --> 31:26.521
So how are the fish and chips
compared to back home?
31:26.605 --> 31:28.063
Not bad, actually.
31:28.146 --> 31:30.396
Yeah? I've never been to England.
31:30.480 --> 31:31.521
It's amazing.
31:32.188 --> 31:33.313
I'll have to take you.
31:34.813 --> 31:37.271
Daddy's home
31:37.355 --> 31:39.771
Home for me
31:39.855 --> 31:43.896
And I know you've been
Waiting for this loving all day
31:43.980 --> 31:46.438
You know your daddy's home
31:46.521 --> 31:48.855
- Daddy's home
- And it's time to play
31:48.938 --> 31:50.730
- It's time to play
- Yeah
31:50.813 --> 31:54.438
So you ain't got to
Give my loving away
31:54.521 --> 31:55.355
Mm!
31:55.438 --> 31:59.438
So all my ladies say hey, hey
Hey, daddy--
32:06.813 --> 32:08.105
Okay, you gotta go.
32:08.188 --> 32:09.646
- You have to go. Get up.
- What?
32:09.730 --> 32:10.938
- Now?
- Yep, right now.
32:11.021 --> 32:14.021
- Okay.
- That's all your stuff. Yep. Come on!
32:14.105 --> 32:15.813
- Was it something that I did?
- Hurry!
32:15.896 --> 32:17.313
- No. Go!
- No problem.
32:17.396 --> 32:18.771
Well, I had a great time.
32:18.855 --> 32:20.438
- Bye.
- Bye.
32:22.480 --> 32:23.605
Come on.
32:33.230 --> 32:36.480
I didn't think I could do it,
but I did it!
32:37.980 --> 32:40.230
Come on. Call.
32:40.313 --> 32:42.063
Please record your message.
32:42.146 --> 32:43.688
Hello, Izzy.
32:43.771 --> 32:46.063
I would like to tell you something,
32:46.146 --> 32:49.438
that it was very, very, very,
very, very, very close,
32:49.521 --> 32:51.396
but I kept it in my pants,
32:51.480 --> 32:55.313
because my body is a sacred temple,
32:55.396 --> 32:58.105
and my vagina is a secret garden.
32:58.188 --> 33:01.230
I… I am Jillothene Shaw!
33:01.313 --> 33:06.896
Resistor of desires of the flesh,
almighty tamer of sexual demons!
33:06.980 --> 33:09.605
I am Jill!
33:11.105 --> 33:13.063
I left my wallet.
33:15.438 --> 33:16.396
Help.
33:18.730 --> 33:22.188
I promise I barely heard anything.
33:22.271 --> 33:23.313
Oh, my God.
33:24.146 --> 33:26.105
I do have one question though.
33:28.813 --> 33:31.480
What was that about a secret garden?
33:33.521 --> 33:34.771
God damn it.
33:36.313 --> 33:38.396
I left my wallet.
33:38.480 --> 33:40.813
- No! No, Jill, no!
- Oh, my God.
33:40.896 --> 33:43.771
God, lock your door, Jill.
33:43.855 --> 33:45.438
You don't lock your door?
33:45.521 --> 33:48.771
- Promise I barely heard anything.
- Oh, God.
33:55.355 --> 33:59.855
They're probably hooking up right now.
They're definitely hooking up.
34:00.771 --> 34:02.105
Well, whatever.
34:06.396 --> 34:07.938
He probably has terrible teeth.
34:14.146 --> 34:15.730
No text. Hm.
34:17.105 --> 34:18.105
Okay.
34:18.771 --> 34:22.355
Don't be crazy. You're being crazy.
34:22.438 --> 34:25.063
Ladies, save yourself the heartache.
34:25.146 --> 34:30.021
If he's not texting you,
he doesn't want to talk to you.
34:30.105 --> 34:33.063
Truth is so important. We all need to get…
34:33.146 --> 34:33.980
What?
34:39.980 --> 34:41.563
Check.
35:15.730 --> 35:16.771
Good night, Izzy.
35:18.271 --> 35:19.521
Good night, lad.
35:19.605 --> 35:20.688
I love you.
35:22.146 --> 35:23.605
I love you too.
35:25.646 --> 35:29.396
Okay, you know as best man
that you have to give a speech, right?
35:29.480 --> 35:31.730
He didn't.
35:31.813 --> 35:33.688
- Oh, come on. I knew that.
- No idea.
35:33.771 --> 35:35.563
I knew that.
You guys think so little of me.
35:35.646 --> 35:39.063
We do not. We think very highly of you,
but I should write it.
35:39.146 --> 35:41.605
And after much deliberation…
35:41.688 --> 35:43.605
- Yeah?
- …we're giving you a plus-one.
35:43.688 --> 35:44.938
- Yes!
- But…
35:45.021 --> 35:49.605
You do not get to bring an influencer
whose actual name you do not know.
35:49.688 --> 35:50.813
I knew her name.
35:50.896 --> 35:52.813
- You didn't know her name.
- Not at all.
35:52.896 --> 35:54.688
You're talking about Lu, right?
35:54.771 --> 35:56.063
Lonestar Lu?
35:56.146 --> 35:59.480
- Lonestar Lu was her handle.
- Mm-hm.
35:59.563 --> 36:02.855
Her name was Keilani.
36:02.938 --> 36:05.271
I mean, that's just confusing branding.
36:05.355 --> 36:06.605
- Bye.
- Go.
36:06.688 --> 36:07.688
- Beat it.
- Really?
36:07.771 --> 36:09.105
- Yes.
- You can't sit with us.
36:09.188 --> 36:10.605
- You cannot.
- Are you serious?
36:10.688 --> 36:13.230
Oh, look, open table. Just for you.
36:13.313 --> 36:14.396
Okay, fine.
36:15.688 --> 36:17.646
- Fine. I'm walking over here.
- Fine.
36:17.730 --> 36:19.230
- Bye.
- I'll enjoy my tacos alone.
36:19.313 --> 36:20.521
Yeah, enjoy.
36:24.313 --> 36:25.938
- You know what your problem is?
- Huh?
36:26.021 --> 36:27.230
You're sad-boy deadly.
36:27.313 --> 36:28.396
- Yeah.
- It's your eyes.
36:28.980 --> 36:33.563
Every girl thinks you're a wounded puppy,
and you have no idea how gorgeous you are.
36:33.646 --> 36:36.480
- But you're not sad. He's not sad.
- Mm-mm. No, he's not.
36:36.563 --> 36:39.521
- And he knows exactly how gorgeous he is.
- What?
36:39.605 --> 36:40.813
You think I'm gorgeous, Breeds?
36:40.896 --> 36:42.480
You think he's gorgeous?
36:42.563 --> 36:43.688
- Wait.
- I mean…
36:43.771 --> 36:46.438
Now he has two phones to use for evil.
36:46.521 --> 36:47.896
Oh, great.
36:47.980 --> 36:53.021
No. Okay, so this random girl has been
leaving voicemails on my new work cell,
36:53.105 --> 36:54.730
and they're for her sister.
36:54.813 --> 36:57.230
- And they're, like, kinda hilarious.
- Wait.
36:57.313 --> 37:00.021
How does she not know
that her sister changed her number?
37:00.105 --> 37:01.396
- Text her.
- I thought I did.
37:01.480 --> 37:05.355
I'm gonna just see what's happening
with the douchecaster real quick.
37:06.646 --> 37:08.396
- Douchecaster?
- Douchecaster?
37:08.480 --> 37:13.938
Guess who's officially being ghosted
by a Hitch wannabe.
37:14.021 --> 37:16.271
I am.
37:16.355 --> 37:19.938
And I am never gonna make baker
37:20.021 --> 37:23.438
because, um, I boned the competition
37:23.521 --> 37:27.105
and now he's out to destroy my life,
which rocks.
37:27.188 --> 37:29.105
Um, so, yeah.
37:30.271 --> 37:31.855
I'm, uh…
37:31.938 --> 37:35.980
I'm just calling you to ask…
37:37.813 --> 37:39.021
how…
37:42.355 --> 37:44.771
am I supposed to do this without you?
37:49.396 --> 37:51.521
We were supposed to die together.
37:52.563 --> 37:53.938
We made a deal.
37:54.521 --> 37:57.396
Like Noah and Allie in The Notebook.
37:58.271 --> 38:00.605
"You're a bird, I'm a bird," you whore.
38:03.646 --> 38:05.605
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
38:06.355 --> 38:07.563
Okay, I'll stop.
38:08.855 --> 38:10.688
You're in a better place.
38:12.480 --> 38:15.855
Probably slurping face with Heath Ledger
as we speak, huh?
38:20.688 --> 38:22.230
But I miss you.
38:22.980 --> 38:24.188
My lad.
38:26.605 --> 38:27.813
Every minute…
38:29.646 --> 38:31.938
of every single day.
38:36.730 --> 38:38.813
This party sucks without you.
38:42.188 --> 38:43.230
Call me?
38:49.563 --> 38:51.313
Isabelle's dead. They're…
38:52.230 --> 38:54.480
They're voicemails for her dead sister.
38:54.563 --> 38:56.313
- What?
- What?
38:56.396 --> 38:58.188
- Oh, my God, that's heartbreaking.
- Uh…
38:58.271 --> 39:00.396
You gotta tell her.
39:00.480 --> 39:03.188
- Now you're a sicko.
- No, no, no, do not tell her.
39:03.271 --> 39:05.230
She's healing. This is her way of healing.
39:05.313 --> 39:07.855
Just stop listening to her
like a creeper, then.
39:07.938 --> 39:10.855
Yeah, maybe stop
listening to her like a creeper, then.
39:13.105 --> 39:17.813
You tell him you no longer want to invest
in something that isn't going anywhere.
39:17.896 --> 39:19.771
You shut your whore mouth when you talk!
39:19.855 --> 39:21.438
- Wes.
- Hey! Hey, Jim.
39:21.521 --> 39:22.563
Red River closed?
39:22.646 --> 39:24.688
- Yes, sir.
- Very nice.
39:24.771 --> 39:25.771
What's next?
39:27.646 --> 39:31.813
Hey, is Donovan still slipping
on that San Fran spot?
39:38.438 --> 39:42.313
I shit you not,
those were his final words to me.
39:42.396 --> 39:45.105
He has no… soul!
39:45.188 --> 39:48.063
I must protect womankind!
39:48.146 --> 39:49.480
Well, guess what?
39:51.146 --> 39:56.605
Love, Not Actually has
a live podcast taping… tomorrow!
39:58.271 --> 40:02.605
And I know, if you were here,
I know what you would say.
40:03.105 --> 40:04.021
You would say,
40:04.105 --> 40:08.021
in the immortal words of our queen,
40:08.605 --> 40:10.646
Michelle Obama, esquire,
40:10.730 --> 40:12.188
"When they go low…"
40:12.771 --> 40:15.355
- "We go high."
- "…we go lower!"
40:15.438 --> 40:16.855
Okay.
40:21.230 --> 40:23.355
Candy
40:23.438 --> 40:28.396
She's sweet like candy in my veins
40:29.105 --> 40:36.105
Baby, I'm dying for another taste
40:37.230 --> 40:40.980
And every night
My mind is running around her…
40:42.313 --> 40:44.271
Excited for the… show.
40:44.355 --> 40:45.271
Thank you.
40:45.355 --> 40:49.355
Oh! I'm so-- Did I step on your foot?
I'm so sorry about that. I'm sorry.
40:49.438 --> 40:50.521
I'm sorry.
40:50.605 --> 40:52.188
- So sorry.
- No, it's okay.
40:52.271 --> 40:55.021
I can't let you go now that I got it
40:55.105 --> 41:00.021
And all I need is to be struck
41:00.105 --> 41:05.605
By your electric love…
41:05.688 --> 41:06.896
Is that okay?
41:06.980 --> 41:08.063
Perfect.
41:08.855 --> 41:10.688
Baby, your electric--
41:25.188 --> 41:26.438
Thank you all for coming.
41:26.521 --> 41:28.813
Looking gorgeous as ever, I see.
41:28.896 --> 41:30.271
And we're going live.
41:32.271 --> 41:33.563
Hi there.
41:35.730 --> 41:36.938
Well…
41:37.021 --> 41:39.813
What should we talk about, ladies?
41:39.896 --> 41:41.855
I am at your disposal.
41:42.355 --> 41:45.021
- Now, who wants to kick us off?
- Oh, my God.
41:45.646 --> 41:47.230
Me!
41:47.980 --> 41:49.646
Yes, in the Giants hat.
41:50.855 --> 41:52.021
Thank you.
41:52.855 --> 41:55.521
Hey, Tyler. I'm a huge fan.
41:55.605 --> 41:59.188
My favorite episode is the one
about dating with accountability.
42:00.188 --> 42:03.230
It's a good one, right?
But I had a quick question about that.
42:03.313 --> 42:05.938
Accountability, that's only expected
42:06.021 --> 42:10.355
of us lovelorn, pathetic,
desperate ladies, correct?
42:11.063 --> 42:14.188
Fellas get a free pass
to, say, I don't know,
42:14.271 --> 42:16.021
like, hypothetically speaking,
42:16.105 --> 42:19.813
talk about bringing you home to England,
get you naked, vanish out of thin air
42:19.896 --> 42:22.813
without even a text saying,
"I'm alive, but no thank you"?
42:24.980 --> 42:29.730
Um, well, uh,
this pod is designed for, uh, women
42:29.813 --> 42:33.021
to navigate the perils
of the dating world.
42:33.105 --> 42:34.480
Oh!
42:34.563 --> 42:37.813
Okay, well, thanks to you, Tyler,
42:37.896 --> 42:41.146
I've come face-to-face
with the perils of the dating world!
42:42.188 --> 42:45.938
Here's my little bit
of "proactive dating advice"
42:46.021 --> 42:46.938
to you ladies.
42:48.021 --> 42:49.813
If it looks like a duck
42:49.896 --> 42:51.896
and it swims like a duck,
42:52.438 --> 42:57.355
it's probably just a bargain-bin,
Hugh Grant fuckboy with a podcast.
43:02.563 --> 43:04.188
So…
43:04.271 --> 43:07.980
I'm gonna just, um… see myself out.
43:09.105 --> 43:11.813
I'll give this to you.
Thank you, excuse me. I'm sorry.
43:14.688 --> 43:16.563
Boys wanna be her
43:16.646 --> 43:18.146
Girls wanna be her
43:18.230 --> 43:19.813
Boys wanna be her
43:19.896 --> 43:21.896
I wanna be her…
43:23.063 --> 43:24.438
Well, um…
43:25.188 --> 43:27.646
What is testimony without a test?
43:28.563 --> 43:31.480
What is accountability without an account?
43:31.563 --> 43:33.813
I'm sorry. I'm… Excuse me.
43:39.188 --> 43:42.480
Uh, communication is key.
43:43.480 --> 43:46.605
Proactive dating isn't about perfection.
43:46.688 --> 43:48.521
It's about progress.
43:50.313 --> 43:51.396
What?
43:51.480 --> 43:53.605
"If it looks like a duck
and swims like a duck,
43:53.688 --> 43:56.688
it's probably just a Hugh Can't
with a podcast."
43:56.771 --> 44:00.396
At first it got very, very quiet,
and then they were like…
44:04.355 --> 44:05.271
Wow.
44:06.063 --> 44:08.063
Another one bites the dust.
44:09.688 --> 44:14.896
Oh, there's this, um,
cute deli at the bus stop
44:14.980 --> 44:17.396
at my bench at Battery Spencer.
44:17.480 --> 44:23.021
I got my salami on sourdough
with spicy mustard.
44:25.271 --> 44:26.355
Mmm-mmm.
44:40.605 --> 44:43.855
You're gonna tell me
that this is dumb, but whatever.
44:43.938 --> 44:45.313
I have this…
44:46.646 --> 44:49.105
stupid fantasy that…
44:50.563 --> 44:54.230
someone's gonna come and sit down
next to me like I'm Meg Ryan.
44:54.313 --> 44:58.105
And we start talking
about our days and the weather,
44:58.188 --> 45:01.771
which makes no sense,
'cause it's always foggy.
45:03.938 --> 45:06.980
Maybe I offer him half my sandwich…
45:09.230 --> 45:12.230
and we lock eyes and it happens.
We just know.
45:13.688 --> 45:18.438
In our bones, like how birds know
when a storm is coming.
45:20.188 --> 45:21.563
How do they do that?
45:23.438 --> 45:24.688
And we can't even play it cool,
45:24.771 --> 45:26.605
because there's nothing cool
about what we feel.
45:26.688 --> 45:29.105
It's desperate and all-consuming
and really scary,
45:29.188 --> 45:30.771
but we're in it together.
45:32.938 --> 45:34.563
That could happen, right?
45:37.938 --> 45:40.605
Says the girl
who can't even get a text back.
45:49.730 --> 45:51.813
I'm sharing this with you, my lad.
45:54.605 --> 45:57.688
And if I didn't know better
45:57.771 --> 46:02.230
I'd think you were listening to me now
46:04.646 --> 46:07.730
If I didn't know better
46:09.646 --> 46:12.813
I'd think you were still around
46:14.563 --> 46:17.188
What died didn't stay dead
46:17.271 --> 46:19.438
What died didn't stay dead
46:19.521 --> 46:22.521
You're alive, so alive
46:33.855 --> 46:36.063
Sorry, is this… Is this seat taken?
46:50.105 --> 46:51.188
It's beautiful.
46:53.730 --> 46:54.855
Mm-hm.
46:59.105 --> 47:01.021
- I'm Wes.
- Hm!
47:11.813 --> 47:12.813
I'm Jill.
47:14.063 --> 47:15.021
Jill.
47:15.521 --> 47:16.813
Nice to meet you, Jill.
47:21.188 --> 47:23.230
Well, enjoy the view.
47:26.480 --> 47:28.396
Uh… wait.
47:30.063 --> 47:31.438
Um…
47:31.521 --> 47:33.855
I have to tell you something.
47:33.938 --> 47:36.188
You have to tell me something?
47:36.855 --> 47:43.396
Um, I… I am here… uh, in San Francisco…
47:45.605 --> 47:46.646
for, um…
47:49.813 --> 47:51.938
for, uh… for work,
47:52.021 --> 47:54.521
and I…
47:55.730 --> 47:57.105
I just…
47:57.646 --> 47:58.771
just get…
47:58.855 --> 48:01.980
- I wanted to get a few recs from a local.
- Oh!
48:02.063 --> 48:03.605
Did you just have a stroke?
48:03.688 --> 48:05.271
Do you smell burnt toast?
48:06.980 --> 48:10.105
Gosh. I don't know.
I'm not a local, by the way.
48:10.188 --> 48:12.313
I've been here a year,
so I guess, technically,
48:12.396 --> 48:15.313
but I have not cracked the code
of this city.
48:15.813 --> 48:19.730
God damn it,
she's a tough nut to crack. Sorry.
48:19.813 --> 48:22.063
Well, what's your favorite thing
to do here?
48:22.146 --> 48:23.688
You're looking at it.
48:23.771 --> 48:26.438
Wow. Then I'm off to a good start, huh?
48:28.563 --> 48:30.521
Jeez.
48:30.605 --> 48:33.230
What?
48:33.313 --> 48:35.480
You're rolling in here with all this like…
48:36.105 --> 48:37.563
What is that?
48:37.646 --> 48:42.313
That is why I have to bid you
good night and good luck.
48:42.396 --> 48:44.063
I'm closed for business.
48:44.146 --> 48:46.396
Not that I even had any business,
or that men…
48:46.480 --> 48:48.646
Men are not my business. Zero judgment.
48:48.730 --> 48:51.105
Love and light to the girlies
selling feet pics online.
48:51.188 --> 48:53.771
I tried, but someone said
my toes look like ugly fingers,
48:53.855 --> 48:56.771
so I chop… fruit now.
48:59.438 --> 49:01.688
- Should we start over?
- Yes, please.
49:02.188 --> 49:03.730
Okay, I'm Wes.
49:04.230 --> 49:05.480
And, uh…
49:07.313 --> 49:08.230
I'm visiting.
49:08.313 --> 49:09.396
I'm Jill.
49:10.938 --> 49:11.855
And I'm boy sober.
49:11.938 --> 49:13.730
Oh, okay.
49:13.813 --> 49:15.146
Nice to meet you.
49:15.730 --> 49:17.105
Nice to meet you.
49:18.021 --> 49:19.271
Oh, uh…
49:19.355 --> 49:20.688
Do you think…
49:20.771 --> 49:23.730
you could just point me
in the direction of some breakfast tacos?
49:30.146 --> 49:32.605
- It ain't José's, but it ain't half-bad.
- What?
49:32.688 --> 49:34.105
- You know José's?
- Oh, yeah.
49:34.188 --> 49:36.271
- José's is my favorite.
- José's is my favorite.
49:36.355 --> 49:37.896
So you really are from Tejas, huh?
49:37.980 --> 49:40.563
Yes, ma'am.
49:40.646 --> 49:44.563
So, could you just give me
like an opening line
49:44.646 --> 49:46.813
or a thesis statement?
49:46.896 --> 49:49.730
You don't need help from a stranger.
These are your best friends.
49:50.980 --> 49:56.230
I'm not sure that I believe
in the whole, uh, marriage thing.
49:56.313 --> 49:58.605
Ah, so let me guess.
50:01.230 --> 50:03.146
Your parents are divorced.
50:03.230 --> 50:05.271
- Very, very astute.
- Am I right?
50:05.355 --> 50:08.146
Yeah, they probably would be
if my mom were still alive.
50:10.105 --> 50:11.646
I am so sorry.
50:11.730 --> 50:13.480
No, it's… I was little.
50:13.563 --> 50:16.230
- Sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
- No, it's okay. It's really okay.
50:19.896 --> 50:21.355
You don't want a first line from me.
50:22.396 --> 50:26.688
I've been told that
I suffer from a severe case of TMI.
50:26.771 --> 50:28.896
No great speech started with a filter.
50:31.563 --> 50:32.730
Um…
50:32.813 --> 50:34.230
What are their names?
50:34.313 --> 50:35.813
Breeda and Andy.
50:35.896 --> 50:37.688
- Breeda and Andy.
- Mm-hm.
50:42.605 --> 50:44.605
"You have made a believer out of me."
50:46.271 --> 50:47.355
Holy shit.
50:47.438 --> 50:49.771
- See? I knew it.
- Well, don't say it if it's not true.
50:49.855 --> 50:53.938
You don't wanna kick off their union
in a bed of lies.
50:54.021 --> 50:57.105
- Cross my heart and hope to die.
- Don't hope that.
50:58.063 --> 50:59.188
I won't. I--
50:59.688 --> 51:01.146
I won't hope that.
51:01.230 --> 51:04.063
- Thank you.
- So, uh, real estate, huh?
51:04.146 --> 51:06.730
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you have a fancy metal nameplate?
51:06.813 --> 51:09.980
- Why else would I be doing this?
- Living the corporate daddy dream.
51:10.063 --> 51:13.855
Yeah, that's right.
I mean, it has its perks.
51:14.688 --> 51:19.521
But, uh, I got my eye on something.
I'm playing the long game.
51:19.605 --> 51:21.021
What kind of something?
51:21.105 --> 51:23.521
Let's just say, I keep my cards close.
51:24.021 --> 51:25.230
What about you?
51:25.313 --> 51:26.396
What's the dream?
51:26.480 --> 51:32.021
I'm living the "it's a good day if I'm not
being publicly humiliated…" dream.
51:33.271 --> 51:38.646
- That can't be the dream!
- Well, dreams are so short-sighted.
51:38.730 --> 51:42.355
When you're a little kid,
you only know three jobs, right?
51:42.438 --> 51:46.438
There's, like, police officer,
school teacher, and chef.
51:46.521 --> 51:49.271
- Mission accomplished.
- Except no.
51:49.355 --> 51:51.063
I'm what they call a "prep cook."
51:51.605 --> 51:52.938
And as Chef says,
51:53.021 --> 51:59.313
we are barely one step
above the janitorial staff and pedophiles.
51:59.396 --> 52:02.063
Sounds like you gotta take
your prep cook skills elsewhere.
52:02.146 --> 52:05.188
- Mm.
- Come on. If you build it, they will come.
52:05.271 --> 52:08.063
- Trust me, I'd love to start my own thing.
- What's stopping you?
52:08.146 --> 52:11.188
I don't know, just any money at all,
or brand reputation,
52:11.271 --> 52:12.938
business plan, house specialty.
52:13.021 --> 52:15.605
Oh, come on, you got a specialty.
52:15.688 --> 52:17.730
Even my mom had a specialty.
52:17.813 --> 52:20.730
- It was cornbread chicken pot pie.
- Oh!
52:20.813 --> 52:24.438
A woman after my own heart.
Do you know the recipe?
52:24.521 --> 52:25.688
No, I wish.
52:26.896 --> 52:28.438
It was legendary.
52:28.521 --> 52:30.563
I mean, people still talk about it.
52:33.021 --> 52:35.813
I wish I, uh… I wish I could remember.
52:37.480 --> 52:39.355
I'll bet your taste buds do.
52:43.063 --> 52:47.063
All right, the suspense is killing me.
If you could put one thing on your menu,
52:48.230 --> 52:49.063
what would it be?
52:49.146 --> 52:53.271
You think I'm gonna share
my culinary secrets with a stranger?
52:54.605 --> 52:57.063
I'll tell you what,
I'm here for two weeks.
52:57.146 --> 52:59.396
Why don't we try
to crack this SF nut together?
52:59.480 --> 53:00.980
As fellow Texas expats,
53:01.063 --> 53:04.980
I feel obligated to tell you
that I am girl sober,
53:05.063 --> 53:06.980
so I will not make out with you.
53:07.063 --> 53:09.938
Even if you beg me, I won't do it.
Scout's honor.
53:18.688 --> 53:22.771
Something about the day make me
Wanna put it on the line, on the wire
53:22.855 --> 53:27.605
All you need to bring is yourself
Company's all that I require
53:27.688 --> 53:31.521
I'm not naive for needing my baby
53:31.605 --> 53:35.605
So, today, come on over
And play 'cause
53:35.688 --> 53:39.563
I've been patient
53:39.646 --> 53:44.855
I've been waiting
For something like this
53:44.938 --> 53:46.896
Ooh-wee
53:47.688 --> 53:49.063
Like this
53:49.146 --> 53:53.188
- Ooh-wee
- Waiting for something like this
53:53.271 --> 53:56.605
- Ooh-wee
- Waiting for something like
53:56.688 --> 53:58.896
Baby, If you want me
You know where to find me
53:58.980 --> 54:00.980
I'll be ready for you, babe
54:01.063 --> 54:04.605
Taste so sweet, it's like honey
Dripping down my body, babe
54:04.688 --> 54:09.063
I know that this bitch love
Drive you crazy
54:09.146 --> 54:13.313
So, today
Won't you come out and play, 'cause
54:13.396 --> 54:17.146
I've been patient
54:17.230 --> 54:22.563
I've been waiting
For something like this
54:22.646 --> 54:25.313
- Ooh-wee
- Mmm
54:25.396 --> 54:26.605
Like this
54:26.688 --> 54:30.480
- Ooh-wee
- Waiting for something like
54:30.563 --> 54:32.563
Ooh-wee
54:33.730 --> 54:35.230
Like this
54:40.105 --> 54:42.855
I don't know what happened, Chef.
I rolled it out last night,
54:42.938 --> 54:44.146
and I put it in the fridge.
54:44.230 --> 54:45.355
Apparently not.
54:45.438 --> 54:47.605
- You've set us all back!
- We could grate it.
54:48.438 --> 54:49.480
Whoa.
54:50.313 --> 54:51.230
Or…
54:52.813 --> 54:55.396
It's… I accidentally froze
my butter in culinary school,
54:55.480 --> 54:58.896
and grating it
made the dough even flakier.
54:58.980 --> 55:00.396
You're still talking?
55:00.480 --> 55:02.938
What is this? The Alpha Gamma prep girls?
55:04.896 --> 55:07.188
- Right?
- Michelin-star joke, Chef.
55:07.271 --> 55:09.271
"It makes it extra flaky."
55:17.438 --> 55:18.480
Hey.
55:19.646 --> 55:21.313
I never asked for your help.
55:26.563 --> 55:27.563
I sold the spot.
55:27.646 --> 55:28.980
- You did?
- Yeah.
55:29.063 --> 55:31.146
What a star! We have to celebrate.
55:31.230 --> 55:33.688
After you. How was your day?
55:33.771 --> 55:35.730
Uh…
55:35.813 --> 55:39.688
Chef Bastien
was feeling particularly evil.
55:39.771 --> 55:41.188
He didn't use a single 'quat.
55:41.271 --> 55:43.980
He literally poured them out
into the trash can
55:44.063 --> 55:46.230
while maintaining eye contact with me.
55:46.813 --> 55:49.855
It was kumquat carnage.
55:49.938 --> 55:51.105
He's hazing you, Jill.
55:54.063 --> 55:55.730
I don't know if I'm built for this.
55:56.313 --> 55:57.480
What, this Flâner gig?
55:57.563 --> 55:58.563
This…
55:59.771 --> 56:00.980
This dream.
56:02.730 --> 56:06.938
Ignore me and my existential dread.
56:08.563 --> 56:12.646
It's your last day,
and I am ready to giggle.
56:14.396 --> 56:16.063
Welcome to Golden Gate Giggles.
56:17.063 --> 56:18.271
I'm your tour guide, Walter,
56:18.355 --> 56:23.105
and we're so glad you chose us,
Golden Gate Giggles.
56:23.188 --> 56:24.980
How about a joke?
56:25.063 --> 56:26.146
Sure.
56:26.980 --> 56:28.396
Why did the hipster refuse…
56:32.063 --> 56:34.896
"Why did the hipster refuse
to cross the Golden Gate Bridge?"
56:35.605 --> 56:36.605
Why?
56:36.688 --> 56:38.771
Because it was too mainstream.
56:38.855 --> 56:40.105
Pause for laughs.
56:42.230 --> 56:45.480
It's my first day today.
56:45.563 --> 56:49.271
- Crushing it, Walter.
- Let's start out with some funny facts.
56:50.021 --> 56:51.063
Sure.
56:51.855 --> 56:52.813
Ha!
56:52.896 --> 56:57.063
San Francisco is where
they invented blue jeans,
56:57.146 --> 56:58.313
and the electric…
56:58.938 --> 57:00.480
- I can't do this.
- You're doing fine.
57:00.563 --> 57:02.188
- Just take a deep breath.
- I quit.
57:02.271 --> 57:04.688
- You can't. We got 2 hours left.
- Let me off!
57:04.771 --> 57:07.396
- Nope. Sit down and take a breath.
- Open the door!
57:07.480 --> 57:09.230
- I need this job!
- Open the door!
57:09.313 --> 57:11.855
- Let me off!
- This is why I don't have kids.
57:11.938 --> 57:13.521
Let me off!
57:21.938 --> 57:24.896
Hey, boss. We paid for giggles.
57:24.980 --> 57:28.021
Not my department.
57:28.105 --> 57:29.605
We gonna get a refund?
57:34.896 --> 57:36.021
What are you doing?
57:36.521 --> 57:37.355
Uh…
57:38.938 --> 57:40.188
Uh, what's up, guys?
57:40.938 --> 57:42.146
I'm Wes.
57:42.230 --> 57:44.021
So, where's everybody from?
57:44.105 --> 57:46.730
Uh, other than New Jersey.
57:46.813 --> 57:48.563
Look, kid, you gotta sit down. Now.
57:48.646 --> 57:51.105
Uh, I know. I'm sorry. I just…
We came for giggles, right?
57:51.188 --> 57:53.438
- Yeah.
- Let's get some giggles in here.
57:53.521 --> 57:59.021
Uh, up ahead, we've got
the world-famous…
57:59.646 --> 58:00.938
squiggle street.
58:04.563 --> 58:07.605
On your right, we have, uh, the house
58:07.688 --> 58:12.396
where Robin Williams brought a donkey
into the party in Mrs. Doubtfire.
58:14.063 --> 58:16.771
Go to Fisherman's Wharf
58:16.855 --> 58:18.688
Top of the Mark
58:19.271 --> 58:20.646
Telegraph Hill
58:20.730 --> 58:22.313
Golden Gate Park
58:22.396 --> 58:27.105
Baby, baby, baby
There's so much in this town…
58:27.188 --> 58:30.271
Out in the bay, you see it?
That is Alcatraz,
58:30.355 --> 58:34.188
the famous prison that is known
for hosting legendary criminals
58:34.271 --> 58:37.771
like Al Capone and, um, Sean Connery.
58:38.771 --> 58:42.230
Okay, look, child, you're gonna have
to sit down now or I will kick you off.
58:42.313 --> 58:44.105
- Last thing. On your left…
- Seriously?
58:44.188 --> 58:47.480
…is the delectable Flâner.
I don't want to embarrass her,
58:47.563 --> 58:49.396
but we are actually in the presence
58:49.480 --> 58:53.188
of one of San Francisco's
most talented up-and-coming chefs.
58:53.271 --> 58:57.646
She taught Chef Bastien
everything he knows because she--
58:58.146 --> 59:03.021
she is most definitely built for this.
59:03.771 --> 59:06.063
Okay, Romeo, show's over.
59:06.146 --> 59:08.938
- I'm going. I just have one more thing.
- I know you are. No, you don't.
59:09.021 --> 59:12.438
- Let's go. And you're done.
- I left my heart
59:12.521 --> 59:15.438
- Off! Uh-huh. All right.
- In San Francisco
59:15.521 --> 59:16.521
I just need to finish!
59:16.605 --> 59:18.646
- High on a hill
- Dude!
59:18.730 --> 59:22.396
She calls to me
59:22.480 --> 59:25.855
- Let go!
- When I come home to you
59:25.938 --> 59:30.105
- All right. Fine.
- San Francisco!
59:30.188 --> 59:34.146
Your golden sun
59:34.230 --> 59:36.688
Will shine
59:36.771 --> 59:40.980
For me
01:00:03.813 --> 01:00:06.688
I guess the scouts have no honor, huh?
01:00:06.771 --> 01:00:08.563
It's a good thing I wasn't a Boy Scout.
01:00:10.896 --> 01:00:12.396
Yeah, all right!
01:00:15.021 --> 01:00:16.313
Ah, ta-da!
01:00:16.396 --> 01:00:19.438
Blue crab and corn fritters
with smoked jalapeño aioli.
01:00:19.521 --> 01:00:21.271
- Wow.
- Voilà!
01:00:21.355 --> 01:00:23.146
- This is insane.
- Yay.
01:00:27.063 --> 01:00:28.355
- What?
- Is it good?
01:00:28.438 --> 01:00:30.855
Are you kidding me?
Chef Bastien is an idiot.
01:00:30.938 --> 01:00:32.396
He is sitting on a gold mine.
01:00:32.480 --> 01:00:34.230
How did you even learn how to do this?
01:00:35.771 --> 01:00:37.105
Um…
01:00:40.813 --> 01:00:42.896
My sister was stuck at home
a lot as a kid.
01:00:44.896 --> 01:00:46.730
She was really sick.
01:00:46.813 --> 01:00:50.646
And the kitchen was our happy place.
01:00:51.146 --> 01:00:53.313
We were like two little mad scientists.
01:00:54.980 --> 01:00:57.896
We always thought we were
on the verge of discovering something
01:00:57.980 --> 01:00:59.605
the world had never seen.
01:01:03.021 --> 01:01:05.730
Either way I lose
01:01:09.855 --> 01:01:11.855
Though I know…
01:01:13.563 --> 01:01:14.730
My sister…
01:01:15.688 --> 01:01:17.021
Isabelle, she died.
01:01:17.896 --> 01:01:20.980
In November. She had cystic fibrosis.
01:01:22.563 --> 01:01:23.771
I'm so sorry, Jill.
01:01:23.855 --> 01:01:26.230
She was just the love of my life. No big.
01:01:27.646 --> 01:01:29.980
- I bet she's proud of you.
- Uh…
01:01:32.230 --> 01:01:36.271
I was much cooler as a kid.
I peaked at like 12.
01:01:38.021 --> 01:01:41.771
I would do the craziest shit
just to come home with a story for her.
01:01:41.855 --> 01:01:43.563
I would've tried crack
if it made her laugh.
01:01:44.146 --> 01:01:48.271
And now, I think I might be
a little bit dead inside.
01:01:48.355 --> 01:01:49.188
Jill…
01:01:52.938 --> 01:01:55.063
you couldn't be less dead inside.
01:01:56.771 --> 01:01:57.938
What you need to do
01:01:58.021 --> 01:01:59.813
is you need to get out there
01:02:00.396 --> 01:02:01.313
and try crack.
01:02:04.396 --> 01:02:05.396
Come with me…
01:02:07.271 --> 01:02:08.813
to Breeda and Andy's wedding.
01:02:10.105 --> 01:02:11.021
Hm.
01:02:12.646 --> 01:02:14.313
Okay.
01:02:14.938 --> 01:02:16.771
I'll ask my overlord.
01:02:19.521 --> 01:02:20.521
All right.
01:02:21.896 --> 01:02:23.105
Ready for the main course?
01:02:23.188 --> 01:02:24.271
There's more?
01:02:25.646 --> 01:02:28.438
- I… This was already so impressive.
- Come on!
01:02:28.521 --> 01:02:30.396
How could you make more? I don't even…
01:02:30.480 --> 01:02:31.980
- Shut up.
- You can't top this.
01:02:35.188 --> 01:02:36.188
Okay.
01:02:39.730 --> 01:02:42.938
Either way I lose…
01:02:44.396 --> 01:02:45.938
Is that chicken pot pie?
01:02:46.021 --> 01:02:47.813
With cornbread crust.
01:02:49.855 --> 01:02:51.105
You made this for me?
01:02:51.188 --> 01:02:53.855
Yeah. I mean, I have no idea
if it's anything like your mom's.
01:02:53.938 --> 01:02:57.021
It was a full-blown experiment,
but we will see.
01:02:57.688 --> 01:02:58.688
All right.
01:03:25.396 --> 01:03:26.688
Uh…
01:03:28.355 --> 01:03:32.396
I'm gonna go… Just…
I'm gonna prep dessert, okay?
01:03:58.646 --> 01:04:00.896
Believe it
01:04:00.980 --> 01:04:05.146
I need you by my side
01:04:05.646 --> 01:04:07.980
Yes, I know you know
01:04:08.063 --> 01:04:12.355
Know you know
Know I've been a sinner, baby
01:04:12.438 --> 01:04:14.730
I've seen it
01:04:14.813 --> 01:04:18.896
I've seen you high and dry
01:04:19.813 --> 01:04:21.896
Yes, I know you don't
01:04:21.980 --> 01:04:27.855
Know you don't
Know you don't need me to say it
01:04:27.938 --> 01:04:31.063
But if anything happens between us
Does everything change?
01:04:32.438 --> 01:04:37.313
I know you feel it too
I can see it in your face
01:04:37.396 --> 01:04:41.563
So tell me now not to get too close
01:04:42.855 --> 01:04:44.063
'Cause it always happens
01:04:44.146 --> 01:04:46.646
One, two, three, four
01:04:46.730 --> 01:04:49.396
How much longer can this go?
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:51.230
Oh, babe, don't break
01:04:51.313 --> 01:04:53.896
Every single breath you take
01:04:53.980 --> 01:04:58.063
Kills me softly, chills my body
01:04:58.146 --> 01:04:59.938
But when we reach the limit
01:05:01.563 --> 01:05:02.521
- Sorry.
- No. Sorry.
01:05:02.605 --> 01:05:04.438
- Yeah… I just have to go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
01:05:05.438 --> 01:05:06.355
All right. You okay?
01:05:06.438 --> 01:05:07.271
- Yep.
- Okay.
01:05:07.355 --> 01:05:08.813
- Sorry. Uh…
- Oh, no. Okay.
01:05:10.855 --> 01:05:11.813
Okay.
01:05:14.021 --> 01:05:15.938
Just say it. Just say the words.
01:05:16.021 --> 01:05:17.396
Just say it.
01:05:17.480 --> 01:05:19.646
Jill. Hey, Jill. I've been…
01:05:20.521 --> 01:05:23.105
I've been getting your voicemails.
I've been getting…
01:05:25.313 --> 01:05:26.355
Oh, shit.
01:05:26.438 --> 01:05:27.855
Oh, shit.
01:05:46.438 --> 01:05:47.438
Jill.
01:05:48.855 --> 01:05:49.896
Uh…
01:05:53.021 --> 01:05:54.230
I, um…
01:05:59.063 --> 01:06:00.105
No, it's okay.
01:06:01.146 --> 01:06:02.355
It's totally okay.
01:06:03.605 --> 01:06:04.605
Um…
01:06:06.438 --> 01:06:08.146
Want to just watch Top Chef?
01:06:08.938 --> 01:06:12.813
I took a date-based ganache.
I shaped it into a small sphere,
01:06:12.896 --> 01:06:15.938
and I coated it
in a cocoa-infused beignet dough before…
01:06:16.021 --> 01:06:18.188
Jill, I've been getting your voicemails.
01:06:18.730 --> 01:06:20.980
I like the surprise
in the middle. It's nice.
01:06:21.063 --> 01:06:23.605
I went with a bombolone-style donut.
01:06:23.688 --> 01:06:26.771
I worked in fresh orange and lemon zest,
fried it off,
01:06:26.855 --> 01:06:29.605
and finished it
with a passionfruit cream filling.
01:06:29.688 --> 01:06:31.271
The texture's great.
01:06:31.355 --> 01:06:32.855
Heaven help me
01:06:32.938 --> 01:06:38.105
My mind changes like the wind
01:06:40.146 --> 01:06:42.355
Please excuse me
01:06:42.438 --> 01:06:47.855
I don't know where to begin
01:06:47.938 --> 01:06:51.771
But I didn't think I cared
01:06:51.855 --> 01:06:54.146
I could be your friend
01:06:54.230 --> 01:06:58.855
But I'm unprepared
Oh, I've never felt like this
01:06:58.938 --> 01:07:01.146
I was unaware
01:07:01.230 --> 01:07:03.605
That you were lighting flares
01:07:03.688 --> 01:07:08.480
Now I'm running scared
Oh, how did it come to this?
01:07:08.563 --> 01:07:15.563
You know I've never
Been so lonely on my own
01:07:16.146 --> 01:07:18.021
And it shows
01:07:18.105 --> 01:07:22.896
'Cause I don't see you like I used to
01:07:24.063 --> 01:07:26.605
Now I'm going back
On the things that I know
01:07:26.688 --> 01:07:32.855
Oh, all my nights taste like gold
01:07:32.938 --> 01:07:37.105
Yeah, when I'm with you
It's like everything glows
01:07:37.188 --> 01:07:42.188
And all my days, we can lay low
01:07:42.271 --> 01:07:46.730
Yeah, when we're waking up
We're waking up slow
01:07:51.188 --> 01:07:52.896
Dessert tacos.
01:07:53.730 --> 01:07:54.980
Dessert tacos?
01:07:55.480 --> 01:07:58.271
When Izzy was super sick,
they tried to get her to eat,
01:07:58.355 --> 01:08:00.771
and she'd throw everything up
except her favorite.
01:08:01.688 --> 01:08:06.605
Dessert tacos. And that is my specialty.
01:08:12.771 --> 01:08:14.063
Magic: The Gathering.
01:08:14.771 --> 01:08:15.938
The card game?
01:08:17.771 --> 01:08:20.230
Actually, they're not just cards.
They're actually collectible.
01:08:20.313 --> 01:08:21.688
They're really valuable.
01:08:21.771 --> 01:08:24.355
But, um, my mom, uh…
01:08:25.021 --> 01:08:26.980
she would buy them for me,
01:08:27.063 --> 01:08:29.813
and she bought me my first pack, and…
01:08:30.896 --> 01:08:34.688
I just need the Alpha Black Lotus
to complete the Power Nine.
01:08:34.771 --> 01:08:37.313
It's one of the rarest cards in the world.
01:08:37.396 --> 01:08:40.105
That's what I've been… working towards.
01:08:40.188 --> 01:08:41.105
Wow.
01:08:41.188 --> 01:08:44.605
And I think I may have found one on eBay.
01:08:44.688 --> 01:08:45.938
- Really?
- Yeah.
01:08:46.021 --> 01:08:47.021
So…
01:08:47.605 --> 01:08:50.980
I gotta confess,
I was actually gonna ghost you
01:08:51.063 --> 01:08:54.355
for not having the full… Power Nine.
01:08:54.438 --> 01:08:55.813
So now I don't have to.
01:08:55.896 --> 01:08:57.313
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
01:08:57.396 --> 01:08:59.896
Okay, wow. Still in the game.
01:09:01.105 --> 01:09:02.355
Still in the game.
01:09:03.980 --> 01:09:05.105
I'll see you at home.
01:09:05.188 --> 01:09:06.063
Yeah.
01:09:06.605 --> 01:09:07.646
Safe flight.
01:09:08.563 --> 01:09:09.396
Thanks.
01:09:30.480 --> 01:09:32.771
Last breath of freedom
till you're chained for life.
01:09:32.855 --> 01:09:34.771
- Hey!
- Yay!
01:09:36.688 --> 01:09:38.646
Oh! We are excited to meet Jill.
01:09:38.730 --> 01:09:40.355
Yeah, we are.
01:09:41.855 --> 01:09:43.188
Oh, no.
01:09:43.271 --> 01:09:44.188
I knew it.
01:09:44.271 --> 01:09:45.355
What happened, Wes?
01:09:45.438 --> 01:09:47.188
Nothing. Nothing.
01:09:47.896 --> 01:09:49.896
We're just hanging out.
01:09:49.980 --> 01:09:54.438
All right, I admit that things
have gotten a little intense.
01:09:54.521 --> 01:09:58.563
Intense? You're the one
that flew to another city for this girl.
01:09:58.646 --> 01:10:00.813
No, I flew to another city for work.
01:10:00.896 --> 01:10:03.146
- Oh, for work.
- Oh, yes, of course.
01:10:03.230 --> 01:10:04.688
- It was a work trip.
- Work trip, and--
01:10:04.771 --> 01:10:07.188
All I'm saying is once in a while, Wes,
01:10:07.271 --> 01:10:10.688
someone comes along
that changes the whole game.
01:10:10.771 --> 01:10:14.021
Yeah, don't be so busy scoring
that you miss it.
01:10:15.188 --> 01:10:16.896
Wow.
01:10:16.980 --> 01:10:19.355
- That was good. So good.
- That was nice.
01:10:19.438 --> 01:10:21.605
- Copyright that.
- Every single time.
01:10:21.688 --> 01:10:25.563
Wait a minute. Wait. You didn't tell us
what happened with the voicemails.
01:10:27.980 --> 01:10:29.771
- You didn't tell her?
- O.M. God.
01:10:29.855 --> 01:10:30.688
I'm going to.
01:10:30.771 --> 01:10:32.063
- Liar, liar!
- Guys, look.
01:10:32.146 --> 01:10:35.563
Oh, my God, this is like a sick reboot
of You've Got Mail.
01:10:35.646 --> 01:10:37.480
Tom Hanks is America's sweetheart!
01:10:37.563 --> 01:10:39.646
You are not Tom Hanks!
01:10:40.146 --> 01:10:41.271
I might slap him.
01:10:41.355 --> 01:10:42.938
- Violence is never--
- Slap him.
01:10:43.021 --> 01:10:45.605
- Hey! Hey!
- Wes, tell her the truth.
01:10:45.688 --> 01:10:47.563
- I'm going to.
- Okay? Yes.
01:10:47.646 --> 01:10:51.563
- Tell her the truth, Wes.
- I will! In person.
01:10:51.646 --> 01:10:53.063
I swear on my mom.
01:10:56.813 --> 01:10:59.105
- Well, now we can't say anything.
- Yeah.
01:11:18.105 --> 01:11:21.230
I don't wanna see you smile
01:11:21.313 --> 01:11:24.146
I want you in the morning
01:11:24.230 --> 01:11:27.480
Before you go performing
01:11:29.605 --> 01:11:32.896
Tell me something I don't know
01:11:32.980 --> 01:11:38.688
And lead me to the place
Where no one ever goes
01:11:40.896 --> 01:11:43.813
You know you're beautiful
01:11:43.896 --> 01:11:46.480
But that ain't half the gold treasure
In your soul
01:11:46.563 --> 01:11:49.396
What you got? 'Cause I want it all
01:11:49.480 --> 01:11:51.980
With your fingers in my mouth
I fail to see your faults
01:11:52.063 --> 01:11:54.938
So please don't let me fall
01:11:55.021 --> 01:11:59.688
So please don't let me fall
01:11:59.771 --> 01:12:03.063
Don't let me fall
01:12:03.146 --> 01:12:05.771
Don't let me fall
01:12:05.855 --> 01:12:08.563
Don't let me fall
01:12:08.646 --> 01:12:11.688
Don't let me fall
01:12:13.396 --> 01:12:15.396
Good evening, everyone. I'm Wes.
01:12:19.063 --> 01:12:21.688
Andy's younger, dreamier cousin.
01:12:21.771 --> 01:12:23.230
- Lies.
- If not by blood.
01:12:23.313 --> 01:12:24.980
Our mothers were best friends.
01:12:25.813 --> 01:12:28.813
And Breeda is the older sister
that I never had.
01:12:28.896 --> 01:12:30.063
Aww.
01:12:30.146 --> 01:12:35.146
So I tried to warn 'em both
that marriage is Russian roulette, okay?
01:12:35.230 --> 01:12:38.146
- Should we go over the divorce rate?
- No.
01:12:38.896 --> 01:12:43.771
Okay, suffice it to say,
I wouldn't consider myself a romantic.
01:12:43.855 --> 01:12:44.896
Aw.
01:12:50.438 --> 01:12:51.813
But, um…
01:12:53.313 --> 01:12:57.896
did you know that these two
weren't even supposed to meet?
01:12:57.980 --> 01:13:00.230
Andy's alarm randomly didn't go off.
01:13:00.313 --> 01:13:04.188
This man has never been late
to anything in his entire life.
01:13:04.271 --> 01:13:07.521
And he missed his dentist appointment.
And he loves the dentist.
01:13:09.271 --> 01:13:10.105
- It's true.
- I do.
01:13:10.188 --> 01:13:13.938
They made him wait for an hour,
and he was about to walk out,
01:13:14.688 --> 01:13:15.980
when Breeda walked in.
01:13:16.063 --> 01:13:17.188
Aww.
01:13:17.271 --> 01:13:19.938
If that alarm had gone off
when it was supposed to,
01:13:20.896 --> 01:13:24.146
these two would never have met,
and we would not be here tonight.
01:13:26.271 --> 01:13:28.646
I don't know about gambling on forever,
01:13:30.313 --> 01:13:31.688
but I do know this.
01:13:32.188 --> 01:13:33.896
You're proof
01:13:34.688 --> 01:13:36.355
that sometimes
01:13:38.021 --> 01:13:39.980
life rigs things in our favor.
01:13:47.771 --> 01:13:48.813
To Breeda and Andy.
01:13:48.896 --> 01:13:50.521
Yeah!
01:13:53.146 --> 01:13:54.521
You made a believer out of me.
01:13:59.271 --> 01:14:03.021
- I am so proud of you.
- Couldn't have done it without you, coach.
01:14:03.105 --> 01:14:04.313
That was beautiful.
01:14:04.396 --> 01:14:06.480
- Your hands are so cold.
- I know.
01:14:06.563 --> 01:14:08.688
What?
01:14:08.771 --> 01:14:10.146
Wait, let's warm you up.
01:14:10.230 --> 01:14:11.188
Jeez.
01:14:14.105 --> 01:14:15.021
Thanks.
01:14:15.563 --> 01:14:17.688
- Can I top you off?
- Yes, please.
01:14:19.271 --> 01:14:20.105
Thanks.
01:14:22.063 --> 01:14:23.688
- There she is.
- Oh, my God! Jill!
01:14:23.771 --> 01:14:25.563
Oh, wow. I am so starstruck.
01:14:25.646 --> 01:14:27.230
Oh, my God!
01:14:27.313 --> 01:14:29.938
We can ride the storm…
01:14:30.021 --> 01:14:32.730
Can I get one more
and a whiskey on the rocks?
01:14:32.813 --> 01:14:35.188
- Yes.
- Thank you for being here. You're so cute.
01:14:35.271 --> 01:14:37.521
- Congrats!
- Enjoy. Thank you!
01:14:39.146 --> 01:14:41.480
- Oh, my God.
- Look who decided to show up!
01:14:46.980 --> 01:14:52.480
We can make it through it all
01:14:53.646 --> 01:14:57.480
Go and show us what we really are
01:15:13.355 --> 01:15:15.563
- Oh, my God, are you okay?
- I'm so sorry.
01:15:15.646 --> 01:15:17.063
- Are you all right?
- Sorry.
01:15:17.896 --> 01:15:20.105
Jill! Hey, Jill! Jill, wait!
01:15:20.188 --> 01:15:23.146
Why is my sister's number
connected to your phone, Wes?
01:15:24.271 --> 01:15:26.438
Okay, it's-- It's a crazy story.
01:15:26.521 --> 01:15:28.396
I… I got a work phone,
01:15:28.480 --> 01:15:30.980
and then I inherited
your sister's phone number.
01:15:31.063 --> 01:15:33.396
- What are you talking about? How?
- After she died.
01:15:34.313 --> 01:15:36.105
But my sister died in November.
01:15:41.813 --> 01:15:43.896
So, you've been getting my…
01:15:45.646 --> 01:15:47.688
voicemails this entire time?
01:15:48.188 --> 01:15:52.480
I was going to tell you. I just…
Things kept happening.
01:15:52.563 --> 01:15:53.896
- And I--
- What did you hear?
01:15:56.813 --> 01:15:58.230
Wes, what did you hear?
01:16:04.813 --> 01:16:06.021
My bench?
01:16:06.563 --> 01:16:08.855
You knew that I was gonna be at my bench.
01:16:08.938 --> 01:16:11.105
You knew about José's, about my fantasy.
01:16:11.188 --> 01:16:13.480
You knew about my sister.
You knew everything?
01:16:14.021 --> 01:16:15.230
You knew everything.
01:16:16.521 --> 01:16:19.063
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna die.
- Just… Jill.
01:16:19.146 --> 01:16:20.605
- No. I knew it.
- Jill.
01:16:20.688 --> 01:16:23.563
- Hold on.
- I knew that this was too good to be true.
01:16:23.646 --> 01:16:25.938
- No, Jill.
- It was too perfect, I was too happy.
01:16:26.021 --> 01:16:29.021
And I'm not-- I'm not that lucky.
01:16:29.105 --> 01:16:31.063
- I was gonna tell you.
- Take this.
01:16:31.146 --> 01:16:32.896
I promise. I…
01:16:33.730 --> 01:16:35.938
I know how much you loved Isabelle, and--
01:16:36.021 --> 01:16:38.146
No, you do not!
01:16:40.313 --> 01:16:42.605
You wouldn't know anything about that.
01:16:48.688 --> 01:16:49.896
You're right.
01:16:53.521 --> 01:16:54.521
I don't.
01:16:55.855 --> 01:16:58.896
You deserve someone
that can love you like that, and…
01:17:00.271 --> 01:17:01.396
I don't know how.
01:17:06.396 --> 01:17:07.730
That's crazy.
01:17:09.521 --> 01:17:12.230
So you heard all my voicemails,
01:17:12.980 --> 01:17:14.855
and you still don't get it.
01:17:16.896 --> 01:17:21.188
Those voicemails
are not a plea to the universe,
01:17:21.271 --> 01:17:24.438
"God, send me somebody to love me!"
01:17:28.980 --> 01:17:30.730
I don't need a man.
01:17:37.105 --> 01:17:39.521
What I need is my little sister back.
01:18:12.896 --> 01:18:13.855
Wait.
01:18:15.105 --> 01:18:16.771
No, no, no, no.
01:18:18.896 --> 01:18:19.980
No, that's…
01:18:29.980 --> 01:18:31.605
Please, no!
01:19:00.396 --> 01:19:02.105
Mettez-vous en rang!
01:19:02.188 --> 01:19:03.521
Line up!
01:19:08.938 --> 01:19:09.980
Prep piggies.
01:19:10.771 --> 01:19:11.938
Yes, Chef!
01:19:12.021 --> 01:19:14.730
The time has come to see which of you,
01:19:14.813 --> 01:19:15.855
if any,
01:19:16.688 --> 01:19:19.688
has what it takes to bake.
01:19:25.521 --> 01:19:26.896
Le soufflé.
01:19:26.980 --> 01:19:29.646
- I just have a quick question--
- Begin!
01:19:41.396 --> 01:19:44.271
Vingt et une minutes.
"Twenty-one minutes."
01:19:47.480 --> 01:19:48.521
Fuck you.
01:19:56.063 --> 01:19:57.438
Quatorze minutes.
01:19:58.021 --> 01:19:59.271
"Fourteen minutes."
01:20:15.605 --> 01:20:16.480
No.
01:20:16.563 --> 01:20:19.480
Help me, brother. Pears, plums.
Dragon fruit with chocolate?
01:20:19.563 --> 01:20:22.021
Chocolate crème? That's boring.
What would you do?
01:20:23.146 --> 01:20:24.730
What would you do?
01:20:42.521 --> 01:20:43.563
Fruit…
01:20:44.563 --> 01:20:45.688
of the gods.
01:20:48.230 --> 01:20:51.063
Pistache. Pistache and…
01:20:53.063 --> 01:20:53.980
Raspberry coulis.
01:20:57.646 --> 01:20:58.688
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
01:21:00.563 --> 01:21:01.438
Oh!
01:21:02.021 --> 01:21:04.646
Oh, so sorry.
I didn't hear you say "corner,"
01:21:05.146 --> 01:21:06.563
Kumquat.
01:21:16.188 --> 01:21:17.105
Okay.
01:21:17.855 --> 01:21:18.855
Oh!
01:21:21.896 --> 01:21:23.855
To you they crawl, body sprawl…
01:21:23.938 --> 01:21:25.021
One minute.
01:21:25.105 --> 01:21:27.938
Close call, stand tall
Doll, you make them feel so small
01:21:28.021 --> 01:21:29.813
What in the world are you doing?
01:21:32.063 --> 01:21:36.355
And three, two, one.
01:21:36.438 --> 01:21:37.938
Time!
01:21:38.021 --> 01:21:40.355
Very good. Très bien.
01:21:43.146 --> 01:21:45.146
Le moment de vérité.
01:21:45.230 --> 01:21:46.480
"The moment of truth."
01:21:52.646 --> 01:21:53.646
Hm.
01:21:55.396 --> 01:21:58.105
It's everything
you've ever taught me, Chef.
01:22:00.355 --> 01:22:01.771
Enjoy.
01:22:01.855 --> 01:22:04.605
- You do me great honor.
- Thank you, Chef.
01:22:12.438 --> 01:22:13.688
Yes.
01:22:13.771 --> 01:22:17.313
Soufflé pancakes with flambé kumquats,
01:22:17.396 --> 01:22:22.021
cream chantilly,
and ground pistachios, Chef.
01:22:46.813 --> 01:22:50.771
Being a baker is about precision.
01:22:50.855 --> 01:22:52.271
Consistency.
01:22:52.355 --> 01:22:58.688
Being a baker is not
about desperate, frantic experimentation.
01:23:02.563 --> 01:23:04.730
Congratulations, young man.
01:23:04.813 --> 01:23:07.396
Me?
01:23:07.480 --> 01:23:09.355
Me? What?
01:23:12.896 --> 01:23:14.188
Yes!
01:23:15.105 --> 01:23:16.146
Yeah!
01:23:20.396 --> 01:23:22.688
This is a joke, right?
01:23:22.771 --> 01:23:25.646
This is a funny little ha-ha,
little hee-hee joke, no?
01:23:25.730 --> 01:23:27.563
- No.
- You barely tasted that.
01:23:27.646 --> 01:23:31.063
And why might that be?
01:23:31.146 --> 01:23:33.313
Maybe because…
01:23:33.396 --> 01:23:35.271
Uh… no.
01:23:36.063 --> 01:23:37.980
It's raw?
01:23:39.105 --> 01:23:42.105
But you knew that, didn't you?
01:23:42.188 --> 01:23:46.271
Did you also know
that while you're busy out there,
01:23:46.355 --> 01:23:49.521
pretending to be Timothée Chalamet,
01:23:49.605 --> 01:23:54.230
he's been sticking pubes in tarts
and butter in freezers?
01:23:54.313 --> 01:23:56.896
And you know what? Did you ever consider
01:23:56.980 --> 01:24:01.938
that the girl with the dead sister might
be the one who wants to cry during sex?!
01:24:02.521 --> 01:24:05.063
So, sugar tits, look at me.
01:24:05.146 --> 01:24:10.188
I did not leave my home
and my beautiful family
01:24:10.271 --> 01:24:14.896
to waste this one wild and precious life
01:24:14.980 --> 01:24:19.355
working for the goddamn
Temu Gordon Ramsay.
01:24:19.438 --> 01:24:20.521
You finished…
01:24:23.646 --> 01:24:25.771
fourth on Top Chef!
01:24:25.855 --> 01:24:27.021
It was third!
01:24:27.105 --> 01:24:29.438
And you can drop
the bad Lumière impression
01:24:29.521 --> 01:24:34.021
because we all know
that you're from Wisconsin.
01:24:34.105 --> 01:24:35.521
And that your name…
01:24:35.605 --> 01:24:36.480
No!
01:24:36.563 --> 01:24:38.438
…is Gilbert!
01:24:38.521 --> 01:24:40.146
It's actually Gilbert.
01:24:40.230 --> 01:24:41.813
Who's coming with me?
01:24:41.896 --> 01:24:43.771
Who's coming with me?
01:25:03.563 --> 01:25:07.021
Happy birthday to me
01:25:23.063 --> 01:25:25.146
Surprise!
01:25:25.230 --> 01:25:26.146
Oh, my God.
01:25:26.230 --> 01:25:28.605
I went full Jilly Maguire.
01:25:28.688 --> 01:25:30.605
You told 'em to come with you, didn't you?
01:25:30.688 --> 01:25:32.438
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
01:25:32.521 --> 01:25:34.105
No one came with you, did they?
01:25:34.188 --> 01:25:36.896
No. No, they did not.
01:25:36.980 --> 01:25:38.230
Cowards.
01:25:38.313 --> 01:25:41.938
Not really. Where are they
supposed to come to?
01:25:42.521 --> 01:25:44.355
I have nothing built.
01:25:44.980 --> 01:25:47.021
I have nothing to offer anyone.
01:25:47.105 --> 01:25:49.355
Maybe this isn't who I am anymore.
01:25:49.438 --> 01:25:52.646
And I just need to accept it.
I need to grow up.
01:25:53.563 --> 01:25:56.188
It's time to grow up.
It's time to get a job in accounting.
01:25:56.271 --> 01:25:58.563
- Honey, you're not good at math.
- So bad.
01:25:58.646 --> 01:26:00.230
Maybe I'm good now.
01:26:00.813 --> 01:26:03.230
I haven't counted in a long time.
01:26:03.313 --> 01:26:04.605
Okay. Um…
01:26:05.105 --> 01:26:08.521
We, uh, got something for you.
01:26:10.396 --> 01:26:12.355
We found it in the garage.
01:26:25.688 --> 01:26:27.980
I feel like I'm letting her down.
01:26:28.063 --> 01:26:29.230
Honey.
01:26:30.271 --> 01:26:32.396
You are her hero.
01:26:34.105 --> 01:26:36.146
Maybe her hero just wants to go back home.
01:26:36.230 --> 01:26:38.813
Well, then your home
will be waiting for you.
01:26:39.313 --> 01:26:40.396
Always.
01:26:40.480 --> 01:26:43.980
Sweetheart, there's, uh,
something else in there.
01:26:59.021 --> 01:27:00.146
What?
01:27:00.230 --> 01:27:01.896
What is-- What is this?
01:27:01.980 --> 01:27:04.105
Izzy's college fund.
01:27:04.188 --> 01:27:05.896
No, I'm not… I can't take that.
01:27:05.980 --> 01:27:08.480
It's not much, but we know
she'd want you to have it.
01:27:10.438 --> 01:27:13.855
You could use it to come back home,
get a new apartment,
01:27:14.396 --> 01:27:16.188
maybe a job in accounting.
01:27:16.771 --> 01:27:21.480
Or you could use it to give 'em hell.
01:27:21.563 --> 01:27:22.980
What would Izzy say?
01:27:26.855 --> 01:27:31.396
Yeah, yeah, yeah
01:27:41.146 --> 01:27:45.688
Always been
Told that I've got too much pride
01:27:45.771 --> 01:27:50.480
Too independent to have you by my side
01:27:50.563 --> 01:27:53.271
But my heart said
01:27:53.355 --> 01:27:56.605
- No.
- All of you will see
01:27:56.688 --> 01:27:58.605
Just won't live for someone
01:27:58.688 --> 01:28:00.855
- Until he lives for me
- I suck.
01:28:01.938 --> 01:28:03.480
Well, now I've found you
01:28:03.563 --> 01:28:07.063
And I'll tell you no lie
01:28:07.146 --> 01:28:10.063
This love I've got for you…
01:28:10.146 --> 01:28:11.146
Oh, my God.
01:28:11.230 --> 01:28:14.146
- Now show me love
- Show me love
01:28:15.063 --> 01:28:16.896
Show me life
01:28:17.646 --> 01:28:22.105
Baby, show me what it's all about
01:28:23.146 --> 01:28:27.896
You're the one that I ever needed
01:28:27.980 --> 01:28:32.188
Show me love and what it's all about
01:28:32.271 --> 01:28:33.438
All right
01:28:33.521 --> 01:28:37.730
Show me love, show me life
01:28:37.813 --> 01:28:38.730
All right
01:28:38.813 --> 01:28:42.896
Show me love and what it's all about
01:28:42.980 --> 01:28:44.396
All right
01:28:49.438 --> 01:28:52.188
Hi, sir. Are you interested
in trying one of…
01:28:52.896 --> 01:28:54.271
Hi.
01:29:06.771 --> 01:29:08.355
- Wow.
- Hi.
01:29:08.438 --> 01:29:09.271
Hey.
01:29:09.855 --> 01:29:12.063
Uh, can we get the Ube All Day nachos?
01:29:12.146 --> 01:29:13.230
Yes.
01:29:13.313 --> 01:29:14.730
Thank you.
01:29:17.021 --> 01:29:18.313
Oh, my God!
01:29:18.396 --> 01:29:19.855
Shit, it's on fire!
01:29:29.855 --> 01:29:30.771
So sorry.
01:29:30.855 --> 01:29:34.605
I can't make your dessert nachos…
01:29:35.355 --> 01:29:36.230
anymore.
01:29:36.313 --> 01:29:37.896
I hate you.
01:29:37.980 --> 01:29:39.105
I'm so sorry.
01:29:39.188 --> 01:29:40.771
You've taught her to hate.
01:29:55.230 --> 01:29:56.063
Stupid.
01:29:59.105 --> 01:30:00.813
We're closed!
01:30:03.563 --> 01:30:05.355
I said we're closed!
01:30:08.855 --> 01:30:11.105
- Zella, what are you doing here?
- Shit.
01:30:11.188 --> 01:30:12.230
Short circuit?
01:30:13.063 --> 01:30:15.771
I guess.
01:30:15.855 --> 01:30:17.521
Probably overloaded the battery.
01:30:17.605 --> 01:30:19.813
Need to beef up the power system.
01:30:22.021 --> 01:30:24.896
Why are you pre-making chips?
Everything needs to be served hot.
01:30:24.980 --> 01:30:29.896
Well, I don't have time
to make fresh chips every single order.
01:30:29.980 --> 01:30:31.396
Seems like you do.
01:30:31.480 --> 01:30:33.688
Which brings me to why,
in all that's holy,
01:30:33.771 --> 01:30:35.230
are you parked in the Marina?
01:30:35.313 --> 01:30:38.646
The Marina's pretty,
and there's lots of joggers and--
01:30:38.730 --> 01:30:42.396
Preppy tech bros and Karens
and vegan Alo clones?
01:30:42.896 --> 01:30:44.813
Everyone hates the Marina.
01:30:45.313 --> 01:30:47.063
The Marina hates itself.
01:30:47.146 --> 01:30:48.646
It's basically LA.
01:30:48.730 --> 01:30:51.271
Let's pretend this little soft opening…
01:30:51.355 --> 01:30:53.396
extra soft, flaccid opening
never happened.
01:30:53.480 --> 01:30:59.355
We move the truck
to our grand reopening at Hippie Hill.
01:30:59.438 --> 01:31:00.605
"We"?
01:31:00.688 --> 01:31:02.271
You asked who was with you, right?
01:31:02.355 --> 01:31:03.313
Yeah.
01:31:05.271 --> 01:31:06.938
I'm with you, okay?
01:31:10.355 --> 01:31:11.396
I'm with you.
01:31:11.980 --> 01:31:12.855
Why?
01:31:13.355 --> 01:31:14.563
You're good.
01:31:15.105 --> 01:31:16.563
And so am I.
01:31:16.646 --> 01:31:19.730
And if you can't join 'em, beat 'em.
01:31:40.855 --> 01:31:46.896
When the lights go down in the city
01:31:48.063 --> 01:31:54.271
And the sun shines on the bay
01:31:55.146 --> 01:32:01.021
Ooh, I wanna be there in my city
01:32:01.105 --> 01:32:02.313
Oh
01:32:02.396 --> 01:32:09.230
Oh, oh, oh!
01:32:09.313 --> 01:32:12.605
Yeah, yeah!
01:32:16.813 --> 01:32:21.855
Oh, oh, ah
01:32:22.896 --> 01:32:29.605
When the lights go down in the city
01:32:29.688 --> 01:32:35.813
And the sun shines on the bay
01:32:36.480 --> 01:32:42.271
Ooh, I wanna be there in my city
01:32:42.355 --> 01:32:44.105
Oh
01:32:44.188 --> 01:32:49.521
Oh, oh, oh
01:32:50.813 --> 01:32:56.938
Oh, oh, oh
01:33:01.813 --> 01:33:03.313
- Hi.
- Jill.
01:33:03.396 --> 01:33:05.563
You're home.
01:33:05.646 --> 01:33:06.521
Hi, honey.
01:33:08.938 --> 01:33:11.730
Yeah. Okay, perfect.
01:33:12.230 --> 01:33:13.313
Okay.
01:33:19.855 --> 01:33:21.271
Mm.
01:33:28.813 --> 01:33:30.730
I ate. I just wanted
to come say hi to you.
01:33:31.980 --> 01:33:33.396
- Hi.
- Hi.
01:33:35.855 --> 01:33:36.730
How are you?
01:33:37.980 --> 01:33:39.480
Will you talk to me?
01:33:40.271 --> 01:33:42.146
We never see you anymore.
01:33:44.230 --> 01:33:47.146
Wes, you spend every night at José's.
01:33:48.105 --> 01:33:50.063
- She's not at José's.
- I know that.
01:33:50.146 --> 01:33:53.688
- Do you know that?
- I… know that.
01:33:57.063 --> 01:33:58.396
I just love José's.
01:33:59.605 --> 01:34:02.105
No one loves José's that much.
01:34:02.980 --> 01:34:05.605
José doesn't love José's that much.
01:34:05.688 --> 01:34:07.313
I love José's that much.
01:34:09.771 --> 01:34:13.105
Jill's doing really well. If it helps.
01:34:13.688 --> 01:34:15.938
- She got a food truck.
- How do you know?
01:34:16.855 --> 01:34:19.021
Obviously, I follow her on Instagram.
She's adorable.
01:34:22.438 --> 01:34:23.730
You don't ever peek?
01:34:25.271 --> 01:34:28.105
I think she's had enough
of me peeking into her life.
01:34:31.605 --> 01:34:32.771
Yeah.
01:34:35.063 --> 01:34:36.063
Yeah.
01:34:48.688 --> 01:34:50.730
I hope she got her voicemails back.
01:34:50.813 --> 01:34:51.855
What?
01:34:53.938 --> 01:34:57.438
She posted about losing
all of her voicemails from Isabelle.
01:34:59.480 --> 01:35:00.480
It was a while ago.
01:35:00.563 --> 01:35:05.188
She was asking if anyone
knew how to recover them.
01:35:10.355 --> 01:35:11.980
Voicemails?
01:35:12.063 --> 01:35:14.396
They're encrypted.
01:35:14.480 --> 01:35:15.896
Probably already wiped.
01:35:16.563 --> 01:35:19.646
Even if they're not,
you'd have to hack into a telecom server,
01:35:19.730 --> 01:35:21.980
which is how you end up on a watch list.
01:35:22.563 --> 01:35:26.730
Why don't you try getting your sales
the old-fashioned way, Wes? By selling.
01:35:28.813 --> 01:35:31.605
No, Felix, it's not for a sale, man.
01:35:31.688 --> 01:35:32.938
It's for a girl.
01:35:38.521 --> 01:35:40.146
And I did everything wrong.
01:35:42.771 --> 01:35:44.730
But this feels like one thing…
01:35:47.105 --> 01:35:49.855
I don't know, maybe the only thing
that I can do right.
01:35:59.313 --> 01:36:00.896
Magic: The Gathering?
01:36:00.980 --> 01:36:03.230
What do you think I am? A loser?
01:36:03.313 --> 01:36:07.938
That, Felix, is an Alpha Edition
Black Lotus card.
01:36:08.813 --> 01:36:11.105
That's the most valuable thing I own.
01:36:11.938 --> 01:36:15.313
If anyone can do this, it's you.
01:36:25.271 --> 01:36:26.188
Wes!
01:36:28.521 --> 01:36:31.605
Maybe you should just… call her?
01:36:33.688 --> 01:36:35.396
No. She wouldn't answer.
01:36:37.230 --> 01:36:38.230
Then…
01:36:39.438 --> 01:36:40.938
leave her a voicemail.
01:36:43.855 --> 01:36:47.230
There's glitter on the floor
After the party…
01:36:54.313 --> 01:36:56.646
Candle wax and Polaroids
On the hardwood floor…
01:36:56.730 --> 01:36:59.021
You've reached Jill,
and you know the drill.
01:36:59.730 --> 01:37:02.563
Hey, Jill. Uh, it's Wes.
01:37:03.938 --> 01:37:04.896
Been a minute.
01:37:05.980 --> 01:37:06.980
Um…
01:37:08.771 --> 01:37:11.813
I saw your food truck is popping off.
01:37:13.396 --> 01:37:14.855
I'm so proud of you.
01:37:15.688 --> 01:37:18.355
I… If I can say that. Um…
01:37:23.438 --> 01:37:24.480
I just…
01:37:24.563 --> 01:37:29.563
I wanted to let you know that,
uh, I got a new work number,
01:37:29.646 --> 01:37:34.313
so you can continue to leave voicemails.
01:37:35.980 --> 01:37:40.396
Um, I paid for the line
to the end of next year.
01:37:40.480 --> 01:37:43.605
And I can extend it longer too.
01:37:43.688 --> 01:37:45.855
Um, as long as you want.
01:37:45.938 --> 01:37:48.896
And no one will be listening.
01:37:50.521 --> 01:37:51.605
Just Izzy.
01:37:52.313 --> 01:37:57.230
I want your midnights…
01:37:57.313 --> 01:37:59.980
You probably have plans tonight, um,
01:38:00.938 --> 01:38:06.021
but I was thinking
of ringing in the New Year at José's.
01:38:08.021 --> 01:38:12.730
You know, who needs a midnight kiss
when you can smash a taco? Am I right?
01:38:13.938 --> 01:38:15.230
That, um…
01:38:16.938 --> 01:38:19.521
Sorry, that sounded better in my head. Uh…
01:38:24.188 --> 01:38:26.563
I don't even know if you're in town.
01:38:27.980 --> 01:38:29.563
So, um…
01:38:33.813 --> 01:38:35.730
Happy New Year, Jill.
01:38:40.563 --> 01:38:42.021
- Intervention.
- What?
01:38:42.105 --> 01:38:43.605
- Intervention!
- What are you--
01:38:43.688 --> 01:38:46.188
- You stood us up! Again.
- Mm-hm!
01:38:46.271 --> 01:38:49.605
No cousin of mine is spending
New Year's alone, crying to Taylor Swift.
01:38:49.688 --> 01:38:51.146
I don't cry to Taylor Swift.
01:38:51.230 --> 01:38:53.980
- The whole block can hear!
- They're complaining again.
01:38:54.063 --> 01:38:57.188
- Okay, well, I have plans tonight, so…
- No more tacos!
01:38:57.271 --> 01:38:58.146
Yes, tacos!
01:38:58.230 --> 01:38:59.230
I miss the old Wes!
01:38:59.313 --> 01:39:02.063
I'm sorry. The old Wes can't come
to the phone right now.
01:39:02.146 --> 01:39:04.063
- Why? Oh…
- Oh, no. Don't you dare.
01:39:04.146 --> 01:39:06.521
- Because he's dead.
- Get your ass in the shower!
01:39:06.605 --> 01:39:10.063
My God, you need a shower.
We are going to the party.
01:39:10.146 --> 01:39:10.980
- No!
- Yes!
01:39:11.063 --> 01:39:12.646
- No!
- Yes!
01:39:15.771 --> 01:39:17.521
Okay. Very mature.
01:39:17.605 --> 01:39:18.521
No!
01:39:25.688 --> 01:39:27.313
I'm Postmating champagne.
01:39:27.396 --> 01:39:28.605
- Very nice.
- Wait.
01:39:28.688 --> 01:39:29.980
Look what you made me do!
01:39:30.063 --> 01:39:34.980
I was thinking
of ringing in the New Year at José's.
01:39:35.063 --> 01:39:40.105
You know, who needs a midnight kiss
when you can smash a taco? Am I right?
01:39:48.563 --> 01:39:49.438
What?
01:39:56.813 --> 01:39:58.563
Thirty minutes.
01:39:58.646 --> 01:39:59.646
Whoo!
01:40:00.855 --> 01:40:02.271
Whoo.
01:40:58.146 --> 01:41:00.438
What was it about her, Wes?
01:41:07.771 --> 01:41:09.605
She had no filter to speak of.
01:41:09.688 --> 01:41:11.438
Hm.
01:41:12.688 --> 01:41:15.771
Her cheeks were always full of food,
01:41:15.855 --> 01:41:16.813
like a…
01:41:17.688 --> 01:41:18.938
sexy chipmunk.
01:41:21.438 --> 01:41:22.396
And…
01:41:24.646 --> 01:41:27.188
- Do you guys know what a kumquat is?
- Nope.
01:41:27.271 --> 01:41:30.063
A small citrus fruit
native to Southeast Asia.
01:41:30.813 --> 01:41:31.813
Yeah.
01:41:33.188 --> 01:41:34.063
That was weird.
01:41:38.563 --> 01:41:39.480
And her laugh.
01:41:40.896 --> 01:41:42.188
It was, um…
01:41:48.021 --> 01:41:49.021
Yeah.
01:41:50.813 --> 01:41:52.105
I am broken.
01:41:55.438 --> 01:41:57.146
And she was the dream.
01:41:57.980 --> 01:41:59.980
Have you told her that?
01:42:00.771 --> 01:42:03.063
She is home for the holidays.
01:42:03.146 --> 01:42:04.771
No, it's too late.
01:42:05.605 --> 01:42:10.063
You said it, Breeds,
like, she's not there.
01:42:10.146 --> 01:42:11.896
Why would she be? She…
01:42:14.646 --> 01:42:15.730
I don't deserve that.
01:42:21.771 --> 01:42:26.146
Maybe sometimes life rigs things
in our favor.
01:42:36.813 --> 01:42:37.771
What?
01:42:46.355 --> 01:42:47.355
Oh, my God.
01:42:55.813 --> 01:42:57.438
Hello?
01:42:57.521 --> 01:43:00.313
Hello? I think I have the wrong number.
01:43:00.396 --> 01:43:02.355
I'm trying to reach my big brother, Jill,
01:43:02.438 --> 01:43:04.896
who has an interview today.
Maybe you've heard of her?
01:43:04.980 --> 01:43:08.896
My brother, Jill, who macked
on Colin Corwin then whupped his ass.
01:43:08.980 --> 01:43:13.730
My brother that is the hottest,
bravest, baddest bitch on the block.
01:43:13.813 --> 01:43:16.146
Condoms wear her for protection.
01:43:17.188 --> 01:43:21.771
"Simba, remember who you are."
01:43:23.896 --> 01:43:27.646
That was not my best.
01:43:29.855 --> 01:43:31.896
I've got a good feeling
about this one, Jilly.
01:43:32.896 --> 01:43:35.646
It's okay if you're scared.
I'm right there with you.
01:43:35.730 --> 01:43:36.771
You feel that?
01:43:37.438 --> 01:43:38.896
That's me, brother.
01:43:39.896 --> 01:43:40.938
Get out there.
01:43:52.063 --> 01:43:54.230
This is the part where you run, Wes.
01:43:57.480 --> 01:43:58.771
- Run!
- You have 15 minutes.
01:43:58.855 --> 01:44:00.146
- Okay. Run?
- Now. Go.
01:44:00.230 --> 01:44:01.605
- I should go?
- Yes, go.
01:44:02.855 --> 01:44:05.355
Don't take
01:44:05.438 --> 01:44:07.021
- Love you.
- Oh, there he goes.
01:44:07.105 --> 01:44:09.521
These beautiful things that I've got
01:44:09.605 --> 01:44:12.771
Please stay
01:44:13.938 --> 01:44:16.646
I want you, I need you, oh, God
01:44:16.730 --> 01:44:19.688
Don't take
01:44:20.688 --> 01:44:23.355
These beautiful things that I've got…
01:44:24.396 --> 01:44:26.063
Oh, shit! Whoa!
01:44:26.146 --> 01:44:27.271
Get out of the street!
01:44:27.355 --> 01:44:30.230
These beautiful things that I've got
01:44:30.313 --> 01:44:34.521
Oh, oh, oh
01:44:34.605 --> 01:44:37.146
Ooh
01:44:37.230 --> 01:44:41.396
Whoa, oh, oh
01:44:41.480 --> 01:44:43.980
Ooh
01:44:44.063 --> 01:44:47.146
Please stay
01:44:50.438 --> 01:44:51.480
Sorry!
01:44:51.563 --> 01:44:55.021
Just-- Just looking for somebody.
I'll just be one second.
01:44:55.105 --> 01:44:57.980
These beautiful things that I've got
01:45:14.563 --> 01:45:16.646
- Hi.
- Wait. Jill. Um…
01:45:18.688 --> 01:45:20.230
I gotta tell you something.
01:45:22.730 --> 01:45:23.730
I love you.
01:45:25.188 --> 01:45:30.230
In a very uncool, desperate,
all-consuming kind of way.
01:45:30.313 --> 01:45:32.938
But it wasn't from the moment
that I saw you.
01:45:33.021 --> 01:45:35.438
It was… before then.
01:45:35.521 --> 01:45:36.396
And…
01:45:38.396 --> 01:45:39.521
I'm scared.
01:45:39.605 --> 01:45:41.730
And I…
01:45:42.355 --> 01:45:44.605
I don't really have
the tools for this. But…
01:45:45.646 --> 01:45:48.813
you make me feel brave.
01:45:53.313 --> 01:45:54.980
You make me feel everything.
01:45:59.896 --> 01:46:02.146
I know that you don't need a man, Jill.
01:46:05.063 --> 01:46:06.855
But I sure as hell need you.
01:46:20.938 --> 01:46:22.855
That was good. Really good.
01:46:22.938 --> 01:46:24.480
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
01:46:26.605 --> 01:46:29.063
- I feel like Meg Ryan.
- Mm.
01:46:29.146 --> 01:46:31.646
Well, then that would make me Tom--
01:46:33.813 --> 01:46:35.605
I told you, I said I was leaving. Okay.
01:46:38.271 --> 01:46:39.188
- Lo siento.
- Thank you.
01:46:44.646 --> 01:46:45.896
Hello.
01:46:45.980 --> 01:46:48.021
Oh, sorry. Just give me one sec.
01:46:48.646 --> 01:46:50.063
I'm gonna go take my break, okay?
01:46:50.146 --> 01:46:51.355
- Do it up.
- Okay.
01:46:52.063 --> 01:46:53.063
Next.
01:46:55.855 --> 01:46:58.730
Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
01:46:59.480 --> 01:47:00.938
Hey, Isabelle.
01:47:02.396 --> 01:47:03.521
This is Wes.
01:47:06.438 --> 01:47:08.396
I wanted to ask for your blessing.
01:47:09.771 --> 01:47:11.771
I'm gonna ask Jill to move in with me.
01:47:13.521 --> 01:47:14.896
Or here, so…
01:47:15.646 --> 01:47:20.396
I mean, I guess I'm actually
gonna ask if I can move to her.
01:47:21.855 --> 01:47:22.855
Um…
01:47:26.021 --> 01:47:30.646
I know that I can never replace you, but…
01:47:32.021 --> 01:47:34.480
I promise to watch
every episode of Top Chef.
01:47:35.271 --> 01:47:36.813
Even after I've seen 'em all.
01:47:37.521 --> 01:47:43.438
And, yes, I promise to partake
in all the Robyn dance parties.
01:47:46.605 --> 01:47:47.730
I am…
01:47:49.355 --> 01:47:51.105
sorry I never got to meet you.
01:47:52.438 --> 01:47:54.271
I always wanted a little sister.
01:47:55.438 --> 01:48:00.855
So if there's any way
that you could just, like, give me a sign.
01:48:00.938 --> 01:48:02.271
Hey, Izz.
01:48:03.855 --> 01:48:04.688
I'll be really quick.
01:48:04.771 --> 01:48:08.063
I'll let you get back to margaritas
with Grandpa and Elvis, but I…
01:48:11.230 --> 01:48:14.188
I just wanted to let you know
that this is my last voicemail.
01:48:15.855 --> 01:48:18.646
And I wanted to tell you
not to worry about me, okay?
01:48:20.146 --> 01:48:21.438
I'm gonna be all right.
01:48:24.771 --> 01:48:26.063
This Wes kid…
01:48:28.230 --> 01:48:29.980
I think he's a bird like us.
01:48:31.688 --> 01:48:33.480
I mean, he can't fry an egg,
01:48:33.563 --> 01:48:35.980
and he acts all cool,
01:48:36.063 --> 01:48:38.063
but he's actually
a Magic: The Gathering nerd.
01:48:40.230 --> 01:48:43.438
And he says that he can't dance.
I… I'm working on it.
01:48:46.021 --> 01:48:48.855
But yeah, I just wanted to call
and say that…
01:48:50.646 --> 01:48:51.480
Oh, my God.
01:48:53.855 --> 01:48:56.938
Oh, my God, Izz, it's our song.
It's Robyn! It's Robyn!
01:48:57.021 --> 01:48:59.855
Like a dove with a sign
that says, "Yes, Wes."
01:48:59.938 --> 01:49:02.063
- It's Robyn!
- Ooh-- I gotta go.
01:49:02.146 --> 01:49:04.813
It's Robyn!
01:49:04.896 --> 01:49:06.813
Bitch really loves Robyn.
01:49:07.396 --> 01:49:09.438
Oh
01:49:10.980 --> 01:49:15.355
I'm right over here
Why can't you see me?
01:49:15.438 --> 01:49:17.605
Oh
01:49:18.396 --> 01:49:19.355
Well played.
01:49:19.438 --> 01:49:21.396
I'm giving it my all
01:49:21.480 --> 01:49:25.688
But I'm not the girl
You're takin' home
01:49:25.771 --> 01:49:27.605
Ooh
01:49:27.688 --> 01:49:32.771
I keep dancing on my own
01:49:32.855 --> 01:49:33.938
You ready?
01:49:34.021 --> 01:49:36.438
Dancing on my own
01:49:52.063 --> 01:49:56.605
So far away, but still so near
01:49:56.688 --> 01:50:00.396
The lights go on, the music dies
01:50:00.480 --> 01:50:03.438
But you don't see me standing here
01:50:03.521 --> 01:50:05.188
I love you, Isabelle.
01:50:05.271 --> 01:50:08.813
I just came to say goodbye
01:50:08.896 --> 01:50:12.938
I'm in the corner
Watchin' you kiss her
01:50:13.021 --> 01:50:15.938
Oh
01:50:16.605 --> 01:50:19.063
I'm giving it my all
01:50:19.146 --> 01:50:23.313
But I'm not the girl
You're takin' home
01:50:23.396 --> 01:50:25.313
Ooh
01:50:25.396 --> 01:50:29.355
I keep dancing on my own
01:50:29.438 --> 01:50:32.980
I keep dancing on my own
01:50:33.563 --> 01:50:37.480
I'm in the corner
Watchin' you kiss her
01:50:37.563 --> 01:50:40.146
Oh
01:50:41.521 --> 01:50:45.355
I'm right over here
Why can't you see me?
01:50:45.438 --> 01:50:48.355
Oh
01:50:49.563 --> 01:50:55.896
I'm giving it my all
But I'm not the girl you're takin' home
01:50:55.980 --> 01:50:57.730
Ooh
01:50:57.813 --> 01:51:02.146
I keep dancing on my own
01:51:02.230 --> 01:51:06.730
I keep dancing on my own
01:51:18.646 --> 01:51:22.771
I keep dancing on my own