Hey, you look nice.
Thanks, so do you.
I'm excited for tomorrow night.
We're finally going to meet.
Yeah, I know. Well, I'm all packed up.
Gonna leave in the mornin', fly down there
and meet you in that cool-looking little absinthe bar
that you suggested.
There you go, sweetheart.
Thank you, ma'am.
Are you okay, lonely stranger?
You look a little down.
Tell you ladies, the truth...
I was supposed to meet a girl named Elizabeth in here,
but looks like she stood me up.
In my opinion, if she's gonna be that flaky,
you're better off finding out before you even meet her.
To Elizabeth.
What are you drinkin'?
It's absinthe.
I just like to mix it with other stuff.
Keeps things interesting.
This one's on me.
Since you're here, you might as well drink absinthe
until you see the Green Fairy.
What Green Fairy?
In the past, absinthe was outlawed
and blamed for the immoral behavior of society.
It's said that vivid hallucinations of a Green Fairy
would appear to the man drinking it,
and she would seduce him into ungodly mischief.
To ungodly mischief,
and here's to Green Fairies.
To fairies.
Woohoo! To fairies!
You're not real.
Can you see me?
Yeah.
But I drank too much absinthe.
And now I'm hallucinating.
A Green Fairy.
The fairy just looks like you
'cause I've been thinking about you all fucking night.
How I flew all the way across the country just to meet you,
and you stood me up.
- No. - Yeah.
No, I didn't stand you up.
Ya did.
I said I would meet you here,
and here I am, here I am, here I am.
This is a fucking weird hallucination.
I think this night's gonna get good, baby doll.
You're inside my brain. You're not real.
Well, if you want me to prove you're not crazy,
come outside the bar
and meet me across the street in the alley.
And you can do whatever you want to me, just like I promised.
At this point...
it seems like I should get back to my hotel.
Perfectly genius.
Well, I guess this Green Fairy myth is real.
Most myths are real.
Otherwise, why would people keep talking about them?
No, ladies, myths are allegories.
They're not physical.
This should cover it.
I should, uh, go home while I still can.
Night, ladies.
This allegory isn't real... isn't real... isn't real.
Jesus.
Eric. Eric.
What the fuck.
- Eric? - Yeah.
What the fuck?!
See? I told you I'd be here.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
There ain't no grave
Can hold my body down
There ain't no grave
Can hold my body down
Ooh-ooh, ooh
When I hear That trumpet sound
Gonna rise right out Of the ground
I see a band of angels
They're coming after me
There ain't no grave
Can hold my body down
There ain't no grave
Can hold my body down
The light falls Through the air
Love falls through the air
The light falls
Through the air
Light falls
Through the air
Light falls through the air
I see a band of angels
They're coming after me
Well, look down Yonder Gabriel
And put your feet in the sea
I wanna see you.
I'm a soldier.
I'm a former killer,
a former mercenary.
Everyone I knew was left in the blood
in the five recent and forgotten wars.
I left the best parts of myself in the ashes.
I'd been recruited by an organization
that fit my skillset.
Now I only hunt the damned, where I forget the faces
of the countless lives I've taken.
Good God.
How does Joan drink this absinthe and blood mix?
Ugh!
Why are you even trying to drink it?
You know she gets drunk like a human.
You like to bathe in blood,
and Joan is down in the catacombs,
buried in earth, drunk, sleeping with the spiders
and the snails and the slugs.
I don't do any of that shit.
I drink clean blood,
and I sleep in a clean velvet coffin.
We've been here a 100 years.
So nice.
Are you tracking my location?
Yes. You're close to the target.
Think of puppy dogs and ice cream,
whatever makes you happy, childhood memories.
We don't want them getting inside your mind.
Got it.
No more talking till you get back.
Okay, bye for now.
Bye.
It's time we stop in-person hunting.
The remote online hunting has been going so well.
We can give the locals a break.
Won't only hunting online and dating apps
be even more trackable?
Everything is being tracked in this day and age.
But AI doesn't appear to be able to calculate our existence
as a realistic possibility.
The odds of us actually being here
go against the algorithms.
Chuck, what are you waiting for?
Make me feel good!
You're just sitting there like you're waiting for a train.
Train? No, I never travel by trains.
They're dangerous. They derail--
Get on with it!
Temptation is like the devil.
I like it.
It's okay.
Do it to me.
Hmm.
Bye-bye.
Don't forget about me.
For you, Elizabeth. For you.
I need a cup of that.
Jesus.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
God, what was love like before the war?
Not helping.
I wanna kiss you.
Elizabeth Bathory, she was a countess
that didn't need to fight at all.
She never went into battle.
She was just draining hundreds of young maidens of their blood
in her castle.
Now, other historical figures have been held up
as the inspiration for fictional vampires and witches,
and what have you, but not Elizabeth.
She is thought to have the highest death count
of any serial killer in history.
And that defines her as a serial killer because...?
Well, she wasn't going into battle defending her lands
or even going after other royalty.
I mean, her ambition was just to kill
as many young women as possible
and bathe in their blood for no explicable reason.
And if that's not a serial killer,
I don't know what is.
So she was always a vampire?
She is thought to be one of the oldest
and most cunning of her breed.
Most people think she died back in 1614,
but Cora, you found her.
I'm supposed to chat with her tomorrow night,
and I'm a little nervous, to be honest.
I'm a soldier, not a spy.
What more information do we need?
I bullseyed her location, recorded her bathing in blood.
We don't know how many we're dealing with
or the full layout of their lair.
There could be an army of these beasts stretching down
to a palace beneath the earth.
You're gonna have to continue as planned
and make your call with her tomorrow night.
That'll buy us time to figure out
how to destroy these beasts.
This is stupid.
I found Elizabeth, and we're not gonna do anything.
We're making a lot of progress.
Fine.
I'll keep flirting with the devil.
Going to bed.
Luke, you've got to stop
bothering Jennifer and the staff
about your damn divorce.
It's been going on for like six months.
I'm not bothering her.
She's my friend.
Yeah, well, you're bothering me, and you're my friend.
It's true, buddy.
Nobody wants to hear about your divorce every day at work.
Maybe it's time for a therapist,
because I'm running out of options here.
You don't know what it's like.
Aretha turned on me.
She took my house, my kids.
She's trying to take everything from me,
including my fucking sanity.
I'm aware of all that.
I get it, and I agree with you.
But as your lawyer,
I've got to advise you to just shut up now.
All right.
What about the girls you've been chatting with, huh?
- Yes. - Huh?
And don't you have a video call with one today?
Do I look like I'm ready for a video call?
Well, get ready, 'cause you're doin' it.
Otherwise, the way I see it, my friend's a dead man.
Now let's see what we got.
Jesus.
The way these girls set up their profiles
on these dating apps is incredible.
These three women are trying to convince us to meet them
at the same absinthe lounge in Savannah this weekend.
They're all with the same modeling agency.
I mean, the disinternet advertising is off the charts.
Mm-hmm.
Look at this. It's legitimate.
And it's one of the oldest absinthe bars in the country.
I don't know.
It sounds like they're a bunch of rich girls.
And that Joan chick is really landed on strong.
She wants me to come out there.
That's great. You start listening to Joan.
It's a good thing.
Stop listening to your ex-wife.
Thank you.
I just got an idea.
- Uh-oh. - You ready?
What if I agreed to meet Elizabeth on Saturday,
and you both agreed to meet the other two?
I mean, we deserve a break, right?
Oh, shit.
I'm supposed to video chat with Joan in two minutes.
Great, don't be late.
- I don't think I can do it. - You got this.
You're a handsome man, be charming.
Let's hope she's a no-show.
Well, hey there, stranger.
You look nice.
Thanks, Joan. You look... amazin'.
So you really want me to fly all the way out there
for a date?
What? You don't think I'm worth it?
No, I didn't mean like that. I was just...
just hoping that you would be willing to fly to me.
That's all.
Well, if we're gonna meet in person,
one of us is gonna have to travel.
Yeah.
You need a vacation.
You know we've been chatting for days,
and you keep going on and on about all of your new investors,
then even if it's good, sounds stressful.
Maybe I do need a vacation.
How about this weekend?
Oh, this weekend would be perfect.
It's a masquerade this Saturday,
and we could see each other for the first time in costume.
Costumes and masquerades.
Be fun and romantic.
I'll be there.
Perfect.
Call when you're here.
Okay, babe.
Toodle-oo.
I'm proud of you.
I am proud of you.
Salud.
Have some wine, and relax.
Happy thoughts.
You look perfectly innocent.
I'm an assassin.
I'm sitting here in this pink, whatever this is.
I'm not right for this part of the job.
I don't want a fuckin' stuffed animal and a bowl of popcorn.
I want an AK and a wooden stake.
Happy thoughts, relax.
What are happy thoughts?
You can't be serious when you say puppy dogs and ice cream.
Is it a code?
Yeah, sure, it's code for whatever makes you happy.
The geo spoofing appears to be working on her perfectly.
I changed your IP address
so she thinks you're two states away
instead of two miles.
Great.
I have a chat with her in approximately one minute.
And you're gonna be great.
Just go to your little inside utopia.
Go fuck yourself.
Hey.
Hey, you look nice.
Are you on the beach in your underwear?
It's a really nice night, and it's hot.
There's a private stretch of beach here
where no one ever goes at night,
so I just come down here and hang out.
That sounds great.
I wish I lived near a private beach
where I could hang out,
drink wine at night in my underwear,
and still have internet service.
You look cute.
What are you up to?
I don't feel cute.
Well, come next weekend, then.
A trip next weekend sounds amazing.
We can hang out, I can show you around town.
Would you like me to fly you here
and get you your own hotel room?
That sounds amazing.
I'll book your trip right now
and email you all the information.
Thank you so much.
I can't wait to get you here in person so I can kiss you.
Me too.
I'll book your trip right now and call you back.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Tell me you want me.
Tell me you love me.
I love-- I love--
Tell me you want me.
No!
Tell me you want me!
Are you afraid?
Tell me you love me.
I-- I--
- Chuck! - Well...
You got blood all over my fancy new beach background!
I'm excited for our date.
You did great.
- What? - I said you did great!
You know, happy thoughts.
Only helpful if you have any.
Why is it so important?
Hmm.
So that demons don't get inside your head
and make you axe murder us both in the night?
Did you feel dizzy or lose your sense of time and space?
No, I'm fine.
Anyway, we should focus.
Yes, back to destroying Elizabeth.
You have combat experience, but these things are not human.
They'll shred your brain in your sleep
and make you slit your own throat.
Albert wants us to get more information,
and you're going to go back and gather it.
Okay, Miss Intelligence.
Send me back into the vampire lair alone
and to their bar during a masquerade party
so I can get myself killed
and my soul sucked out of my ears
while I gather intel we already have.
That's what you guys want.
I was dating the devil as a soldier following orders.
But why did I like it?
Was it the anticipation of a warm redemption
that I presumed I would feel
when I drove a stake through her heart?
Take a selfie. Jocelyn, take a selfie.
It's true. I can see the Green Fairy.
White on white translucent Black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left The bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines The black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
What may I get for you, darling?
A glass of absinthe.
Undead, undead, undead
The virginal brides File past his...
Your absinthe is ready.
Strewn with time's Dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room, The count
- Hi. - Hi.
- You look good. - So do you.
You clearly see the girl at the end of the bar
with the skull mask in all red?
- Yummy. - No.
She's heavily armed.
She's a hunter or something.
She is a hunter.
And I'm scheduled to kill her this weekend.
I think you should kill her now.
I'll kill her when she's invited me to.
We don't want to attract attention
and bring more of them.
Okay, but what about the guys?
Our lover boys from out of town
will be arriving in about an hour.
Just text them to meet us at Club Silver Paradise.
You stay here and keep the party going.
The hunter won't notice anything.
She'll just leave when the party's over,
and I'll bring the guys back here after hours.
What are you doing?
It feels so good in the earth.
I'm tired. I don't want to move.
Well, you're going to stay tired forever
if you just lay half-buried in the dirt, eating bugs.
You need to get back on your diet.
Look at me.
Our guys are coming into town tonight.
Already?
Oh, I'm...
Okay. Help me get ready.
My superior officer Alexis
was emotionally scattered,
not ready for the nightmare that was to come.
What in God's name are you doing?
I thought you were the intelligence.
I am adding a new skill to my arsenal
for my dating profile.
So you send me back to the lair
and then just start doing your crazy online courtship rituals
and leisurely working out.
Staying fit is my job.
That's supposed to be my job, too.
But I keep getting sent back
into the demon lair to get drunk,
told to have happy thoughts
and to have romantic video chats with the devil.
I liked her, but people close to me get hurt.
I was good at violence,
and there was a violent job to be done.
Focus on your upper body and breathe.
Punching like you're angry at something.
What has gotten into you?
I got dumped by the Frenchman.
I don't know, maybe you're right.
There was just so much pressure.
You left on one of my dating apps,
and I made six dates all for tonight,
thinking they would cancel, but then none of them canceled,
and I freaked out, and I canceled all of them.
And I feel like my head is swollen.
I'm putting my life on the line
and you're in here having emotional breakdowns
about dating?
Well, it's all because of the lunar eclipse.
The eclipse is tomorrow.
I just want to touch up your lips and your eyeliner
without messing up your rhinestones.
I've done your makeup so many times,
I thought you were me.
I forgot what I looked like.
How come we can see ourselves
with their modern digital technology?
There were no reflections in mirrors and water
in what felt like forever.
Then, with modern digital cameras,
it captures our image like we're humans.
Why is that?
Because AI and digital cameras are in league with the devil.
And so are we.
Hmm. Well, if we're in league with the devil,
then where is he?
I never met him.
Listen, there's a hunter upstairs.
Ugh. Why do you two care?
Well, in theory, hunters know how to destroy us.
Well, at this point, would that even matter?
Aren't we gonna be destroyed when humans turn the planet
into a seared bowl of ash anyway?
Well, they might just crash their own population,
and then we wouldn't be destroyed.
Things would just start to get normal again.
Oh, so what's your plan?
You're just gonna keep hiding in the dark
and killing humans indefinitely?
Yes, that's our only option.
Being destroyed would be even worse.
We could be trapped as ash forever
and then blow away in the wind
and get caught in the sunlight and create rainbows.
Mm.
Some of us have been turned to statues or beach foam.
I even heard of this one girl who was turned into a painting.
Still doesn't sound worse than this.
Well, we wouldn't be together.
We wouldn't be able to do each other's makeup.
I love you.
You'd make a pretty painting. Let me paint you.
Let's just go get these guys first, okay?
Okay.
Yeah!
Damn it! God!
Would you just drive fast but smoothly, Elizabeth?
This is good, fresh blood and absinthe.
Would you stop with the swerving?
I'm driving the same way that I always drive.
Get these guys, gonna get their hearts racing,
and thin their blood with absinthe, and then, boom!
It's gonna be great.
Oh, I feel tingly all over just thinking about it.
Oh, I'm gonna kill somebody so good for you.
It's gonna be a show.
Do you wanna have sex?
Joan, I don't get you. Not even about sex.
Well, no, we're about living forever and drinking people's blood.
I just don't understand some of your human-like urges.
Run these motherfuckers over.
- Yeah, you just told me about him. - I know...
Smash into these lovey-dovey cutie pies.
Ah. It's beautiful.
It's like a drive-thru.
Bye-bye.
That was refreshing.
It wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
I thought they were just gonna go underneath the car.
Didn't realize they were gonna splatter all over us
like a typhoon.
We gotta go back home and get dressed up all over again.
No, we can go to the club like this.
People are stupid, they're never gonna think
that we're actually covered in human blood.
Now we look worse than a Jackson Pollock painting.
Yeah!
Good shit, man.
You're only going to get a little fucked up.
It's a little bit of a hallucinogenic kind of trip.
Hey, is it possible that we flew all the way
down here just to get stood up?
These girls are an hour late, man, after switching venues.
They'll be here, man.
- It's all good. - All right.
We're gonna get ready again
and go pick up these three guys, remember?
Okay. Well, after we kill these three guys,
would you sleep with me in my coffin today?
I'll do it if you just focus on our date first.
Come on in, ladies.
Hey, you want me to buy you a drink or something?
No.
I want you to go home and hang yourself
with a thick extension cord.
Come on, now.
Do as I say, as I say.
Okay. That's a good idea.
I'm not in a club.
What are you talking about?
Who the hell you talking to?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're not getting your phone back or your ex-wife.
Get your shit together, man.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
She's fuckin' killin' me.
You never have to apologize to me.
- You know that. - All right.
I love you. Just take a sip and focus.
Okay. Cheers. Cheers.
- Cheers. - Okay, got it.
Bingo.
All three of them sitting together.
Modern and oily.
Just how you like them.
Well, don't just stand there staring at me.
Let's go dance next to their table.
They'll invite us to sit down.
The sad one, Luke, I think I want to make him happy
before we kill him and drink his blood.
What for?
I just want to be close to him and accelerate his pulse.
Makes the blood gush out quicker anyway.
You can't turn back into a human.
You know, you're drinking liquor and wanting sex.
It's totally fucked up.
Don't worry about me.
Let's just go dance near them, like you said.
I've never known a girl Like you before
Now just like in a song From days of yore
Here you come knocking, Knocking on my...
- What? - I-- is that them?
Well, I've never met a girl Like you before
- Oh. - Game time.
I told you.
We're in business, boys.
Wait, wait. Come on, man.
Go easy, man. Go easy.
Oh.
Hello, ladies. How are you?
Do you want to hear my crazy fetish?
Yeah, well, I don't know. How crazy is it?
I just love when guys invite me places.
Sit at tables, have a drink, go outside and hug, anything.
Right.
That sounds more like a joke than a fetish,
but I'll be happy for you guys to come to the table with us.
Come on.
- Look alive, boys! - Hey!
Wow, that is Joan.
Oh, wow.
- Wow. - Oh, wow.
Well, are you guys going to invite us to sit down?
Yes. By all means, please.
Sit down. Have a drink.
Oh, oh. Yeah.
Party.
Yeah.
You guys are so beautiful.
So much more beautiful in person.
Look at you.
There you go.
Come on, get off.
So classy.
You're so perceptive.
You can tell we're classy already?
Absolutely.
What-- what about Helena?
Is Helena around here, somewhere?
- We'll meet her later. - Let's go.
Yes, of course, but she's not in this club.
- Let's go, let's go. - What's happenin' here?
- She said, let's go, let's go. - Yes, buddy.
- What does that mean? - It's your night.
- Oh, God. - Go get 'em, tiger.
Take me somewhere.
Where?
Your heaven, your hell.
Either would be paradise to me.
Joan.
- Got a lot on my mind. - Sshh. I already know.
Put your hands on me, Luke.
Do you want me?
I want you.
Cora, what did you see when you went back to the bar?
Well, they're still there.
The bar is their lair,
and I don't know how to find out any more information on my own
without getting myself killed.
I highly recommend a strike team,
and we hit 'em in broad daylight.
Historically, we have a better chance of vanquishing them
if we strike during the lunar eclipse.
The eclipse would just make the night darker.
We should do it in the middle of the day.
I can be there myself with two of the guards
that I have here on site,
but not until the day after tomorrow,
which would actually get me there the morning
after the eclipse.
It's gonna have to be the five of us.
We're gonna have to vanquish them ourselves.
Great.
We do it in the middle of the day.
Yes.
Perfect. We'll just burst in there at high noon
and light the place on fire.
- Great. - Okay, Cora, yeah.
But you just remember we're up against vampires.
It's nothing like a firefight with human beings.
You have to think happy thoughts to keep them out of your head.
If they seize control of our brains,
we could burst in there and start shooting each other.
Are you having dizzy spells or seeing anything weird?
Am I seeing anything weird?
The weirdest thing I've ever seen
is Elizabeth having people decapitated
and then bathing in their blood.
Other than that, nothing unusual.
No dizzy spells, depression, or suicidal thoughts.
Okay, well, I'll be there as fast as possible,
but, um, caution, ladies.
Sorry about my dating freakout.
I don't know what came over me.
This lifestyle is hard.
Tell me about it.
Oh, my God. You smell good.
Oh.
Joan and Luke have been gone too long.
This place is about to get rowdy and then close.
Let's take this bottle of absinthe for the car ride,
and then we can cruise to the other side of town.
You wanna all the way, huh?
Let's go see the others.
Okay.
Hey!
No suicidal thoughts or depression?
No.
Dizziness?
Are you sure I'm not getting inside your head, killer?
No.
- What? - What?
I don't know.
I'm drunk and messing with a nest of vampires,
and you're just working out and dating
like you're at some kind of retreat or something.
I'm going to bed.
Helena wants us to meet her at the absinthe bar.
Excellent.
That's perfect. Yes.
Hey. How are you?
Oh man, couldn't be better.
Listen, there was a mirror.
A mirror? Why?
You need to see the mirror, or what?
No. I-- it was-- I seen...
They kept telling me to have happy thoughts.
It was better to let the cold sink in
and find the balance in the nausea
and the night sweats.
All the smiley, happy people I knew were in heaven,
where there was no pain or consequences.
This shit's incredible.
Hey, hey. Right there. Right there.
- Drink some of this shit. - Cheer up, bro.
Come on, man.
- Oh, be careful. - What are you doing?
Oh, you worry too much.
Tell me, Luke.
I got you.
Whoa, whoa. Go easy, man.
Oh, guys, guys, absinthe burns,
you guys should light each other on fire.
It'll go viral.
Absinthe's very flammable, that could hurt us.
I've been on fire before, haven't you?
Faster, faster!
Well, no, it won't.
Guys, light me on fire.
It's not a good idea.
- Come on-- - Let me have some fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
Come on, man.
- Accelerate. - That's some white people shit.
Why would you light a drunk girl on fire?
What the fuck are you doing?
What's going on?
- Jesus. - What?
What the fuck just happened?
I told you not to light her on fire, man.
Look, who do you think's legally responsible, Luke?
'Cause she was begging me to do this, all right?
She was begging me, right?
Joan, are you okay?
What's wrong?
Did you want me to be hurt?
What?
What the fuck.
Did you get it on camera?
Yeah, I got the whole thing on camera.
I used to be a circus acrobat.
A circus act, man.
I thought you were toast.
That's crazy, man.
Come on, bro, drink up.
You only live once, right?
Come on, man.
- Yeah, Luke! - Come on, baby. Woo.
You know what? Watch this.
Yeah, you got it, Luke.
I'm-- I'm gonna show you.
Yeah, buddy.
I'm gonna show you what this is.
You got it.
I'm gonna take you to another level.
Who's scared?
Fuck ya!
- Roll your cameras. - You got it, Luke.
You wanna go on social media?
Ride it, baby!
You wanna go in the ground?
Watch this.
Alright, Luke.
Watch this.
Oh.
Fuck!
See what you've all done.
That's not smart. He's tangled up under the car.
Smackin' Luke.
Holy fuck.
We drove right over him.
He is clearly a psychological mess.
Let's just forget about him.
What do you mean forget about him?
He's right here, he's alive,
- he's not dead. - Help.
I don't think that we can help him.
Let's just get out of here.
- What are you-- ? - I need a-- I need a doctor!
He's not dead.
We can save him. Maybe.
- I'm-- I'm calling for help! - Yes.
Forget. Sleep.
Elizabeth! Stop!
I think we can help him.
Crazy bitches.
What the fuck is going on?
Why isn't he dead?
What do you mean?
I'm not dead?
He's tangled up under the tire and an axle,
so the whole lower half of his body
is like one big tourniquet.
He's gonna burst no matter what when he gets loose.
Can I turn him?
What's gotten into you?
You absolutely cannot turn anyone.
We need to make him pop, rip him apart,
and tear him out of there.
What?
You're so fucking messy, Joan.
Getting the guys to literally light your ass on fire,
that's what triggered this whole mess.
I was trying to be dreamy.
Now go do what you do and let's get out of here.
Ma'am, freeze. Freeze, ma 'am.
Help.
As you can see, there's been a little accident.
Hey, sir, I need... he-- help.
Are you ladies prostitutes?
I'm not a prostitute.
How does a mortally injured man...
I need a doctor.
...screaming under the front tire of my car
even relate to prostitution.
Well, you're going to be charged with a crime.
Oh.
I'm just not sure which one yet.
I'm not dead. I need help.
Point your gun at your partner.
- Okay. - Yeah, right.
Put two bullets in his chest and one in his head.
Now place the gun up against your own head.
Okay.
Pull the trigger.
Okay.
Please, please. Where is my phone?
I need to call my wife, my ex-wife.
I don't think you need to worry about calling anyone anymore.
I want to talk to him about his death experience.
What? I'm not dead?
Hey, Luke. You're okay.
No, no.
You know you're really so much better off than us.
Oh.
You're going to another place and...
we're stuck here indefinitely.
Well, Luke, do you believe in God?
Yes.
What about hell or the devil?
I don't... I don't know.
Do you think you'll go to heaven?
Yes. I just came here looking for love.
Joan, what's going on with you tonight?
I just want to see my kids.
Drinking straight liquor,
having sex with him, and now this?
Let's get on with it.
I'm not hungry.
Kill him.
Angel, angel.
I see green, green angels.
Kill him.
Do you like having such a short, meaningless life?
What do you even think you can accomplish?
You're damned.
Your soul is trapped here.
You're gonna go blank soon.
And I'm just gonna go on hanging out with my friends.
You can't do this to me, Elizabeth.
I won't let you.
Where the hell is Luke?
He started whining about his ex-wife, Aretha,
and then he ran back to your hotel.
I know what it was. I guarantee you,
he'll will be here tomorrow night.
Mm... Doubt it.
You should have seen the look in his eyes when he left.
Yeah, it was kind of intense.
I will tell you--
Whoa. You all right?
- Hey. - Oh.
You okay there?
Why don't I remember Luke leaving?
'Cause I have a very high alcohol tolerance.
So it just doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe it's the jet lag and the absinthe mixed.
Hey, aggressive.
Elizabeth, can I take Randall in the bathroom?
Sure.
You two need to share. I haven't eaten all night.
Yeah.
Here you go. Real tiger.
Ooh, baby.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
What's this?
Ah, it's just Luke's phone.
No, the picture.
Oh, it's his ex-wife and kids.
God, why does he still have that as his lock screen?
He's torturing himself, this guy.
Jesus. You all right?
Ah! Ah! Fuck.
What are you doing?
What do you mean, what am I doing?
You just did something to me.
You triggered me to have a heart attack, didn't you?
That's superstitious for a lawyer with a psychology degree.
I don't believe that could happen.
Call 911.
You did something to me, dammit.
What, are you scared?
Do you think you're going to heaven or hell?
I said, call 911, you psycho bitch!
Don't fucking talk to me like that.
I'm sorry, princess, baby.
Please just call 911, okay?
Do you think they have laws in heaven?
I mean, they only have good people in heaven,
so they don't really need a lawyer there.
You're murdering me.
You're fucking murdering me.
How does it feel?
I mean you've defended murderers.
Have you ever gotten a serial killer off?
What are you talking about?
I'm a lawyer for a marketing firm.
I studied consumer psychology, woman.
Oh, yeah?
Consume this.
- Wait, no! No! - Drink.
Drink.
Yeah!
The sentries have been very costly.
And I still have to pay the devil.
Oh.
How are you feeling, Malcolm?
Malcolm?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Let me-- let me get a video of you.
You look so cool right now.
Ra-- Randall, do you s-- ?
Where-- where's Randall?
I'm here.
You're just drunk, buddy.
Oh, come on, man.
Did you see what she did to my phone?
And I think something happened to Luke, bro.
We got to get out of here.
Ah, you worry too much.
Chill out, man. It's all good.
Stop bouncing around like a little pony.
Joan, did you turn Randall?
Well, I mean, he was really endearing in the bathroom,
and it just happened.
I know.
What were you thinking?
We haven't turned anyone in hundreds of years.
I was lonely and depressed,
and you wouldn't let me turn Luke.
He's not Randall anymore.
He's a Ramsey the Devil.
No!
You can't just get drunk and turn some dude
and say that you made the devil.
Only God can make the devil.
Now, he's Ramsey the Devil either way.
And we just let that guy go.
This is getting chaotic.
He won't go far.
Fucking hurts.
You stay here and watch over him
as he finishes turning into Ramsey the Devil.
Okay, I can do that.
Help! Help me!
Help! Somebody!
Slow down.
Don't you want to have sex with us?
It's starting to hurt my feelings.
Wait!
We want to help you!
Help me?
You're changing color, and you set my phone on fire!
Oh, you're just drunk.
What? What?
Help! Somebody!
What's going on?
What are you doin'?
You're killing me?
You're burying me alive?
Don't worry, you're already not alive.
I'm not?
What am I then?
If a thing loves, it is infinite.
Huh?
You're heavy and costly, and you have a lot of time.
What? That doesn't make any sense.
No!
Hey, help!
Help! Somebody!
Please! Open the door.
Help me! Help me!
Do you still want to have sex with us?
Or do you want us to end your weird life
before sex instead of after?
No!
Were you baptized?
Or circumcised?
Someone! Help me!
Oh, he's going to be a tasty treat.
Why do you want to have sex all the time?
You can't fall in love.
You're not somebody.
What, I'm nobody?
We're nothing?
That's it?
Yeah.
Elizabeth, can you sleep in the coffin with me today?
Oh!
I'm feeling sick and empty.
What? Joan, look.
We're letting him crawl away.
You're not listening to me.
Help! Please!
I won't stay!
This just isn't doing anything for me anymore.
What do you mean?
It's not getting me off or turning me on at all.
Well, do you want to torture him or something?
Don't! Please, help me!
Are we supposed to just keep doing this forever ?
I don't know. Yeah.
Let's just get this over with. It's gonna be dawn.
Hurry. Hurry.
What?
We haven't almost gotten caught in the dawn in over a century.
Joan, what are you doing? Get in here.
Joan.
I don't feel anything anymore.
What?
I want to see the sunrise.
Come with me.
You said we could sleep in the same coffin together.
You're being crazy.
- Get in here now. - I'm not crazy.
- Elizabeth-- - Get in here.
- Come with me, please. - Joan.
- Please. It'll be so beautiful. - No--
Come on.
Don't do this, Joan. Don't leave me.
- Please. - Joan.
- I'm sorry. I have to. - No. No.
Joan! Joan! Joan!
Oh, my God.
I'll go somewhere.
It's so beautiful.
We put the devil to sleep.
Where is Joan?
The sky is red as fire by now.
Joan went crazy and destroyed herself.
What?
We made it back to the bar just as the sun was coming up,
and Joan just turned around and ran off into the daylight.
I'm not feeling well.
I'm hungry.
Let's make a steak and drink some ice water.
It's going to be a long night.
Albert's not getting here until tomorrow morning.
Are you scared of me?
I feel fucked up.
I need to get a bottle of vodka to get through this,
then we can have steak.
We're not supposed to go out tonight.
It's the eclipse.
I'll be back in five minutes.
The mischief.
Oh, I do feel it.
I'm a devil tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Ramsey the Devil, it's a perfect night
every night with Ramsey the Devil.
Let's do this.
I'm Ramsey the Devil tonight and every night.
Whooh! Yeah!
Weow!
Stupid glitching smart technology.
My phone really wants me to talk to this guy Ramsey.
This is a weird glitch.
Hey there.
You didn't cause it, did you?
No, I didn't.
Aren't these apps just designed to connect people anyway?
Yeah. I suppose they are.
Maybe it's a sign.
Or maybe the smart technology wanted us to meet up.
Okay, I'm bored enough to meet you.
I've been in my apartment for days.
What about that restaurant Annabelle's downtown?
They're open late.
Oh, of course. I love that place.
You want to meet me there in a half hour?
Perfect. Can you order for me?
I think I might be a couple minutes late.
Of course I can. I'll see you soon.
- Hey. - Hi, Ramsey.
- Yes. How are you? - Hey.
Please, please.
Well, this is...
nice and unexpected.
I know, right?
Yeah, I wasn't even gonna come out tonight either,
but I'm glad I did.
You look even nicer in person.
Thank you.
So pizza and absinthe, those are brave choices.
It's a brave new world.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
You have such a pretty smile.
Oh. Thank you. So do you.
I didn't know they had absinthe here.
I know, odd, right? Yeah.
They-- they do.
It's funny.
Come on right up.
- Whoa. - Goddamnit!
- Come on, you wanna go? Come on. - You wanna...
Shit!
- Whoa. - Fuck you.
Everyone's going berserk.
Let's get out of here.
Alexis?
Fuck.
I've never seen anything like that before.
No, that was pretty extreme.
Yeah, that wasn't just a bar fight.
It erupted too quickly and with too much energy,
and people were stabbing each other in the throats
with forks.
Yeah, it wasn't just a bar fight.
Nah, you're right.
Doesn't make any sense.
I mean, I walked out holding my drink.
Well, you were probably just in shock.
Sure.
Hey, come check this out.
It's pretty cool in here.
What a night, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Hm.
Sure is a beautiful night.
Look at that moon.
Ramsey, where are we going?
I just thought we needed to calm down a bit
after all that.
This place is beautiful here.
What could be mellower than here, right?
Why don't we call it a night? Talk later.
I don't think so.
I'm Ramsay the Devil, baby.
Let's just get this awkward first kiss over with, shall we?
Come on!
You can't hurt me!
This is your lucky night with Ramsey the Devil, baby.
Every night's a lucky night with me!
You suspicious weirdo.
I suspected you might be a blood-sucking fiend,
and that was half the reason I came out.
Oh, yeah?
What's the other half?
That doesn't matter now.
And I know they don't serve absinthe
at that Italian restaurant.
Shut up.
I'm Ramsey the Devil.
I'm gonna eat you up, little girl.
- Really? - Yeah!
It's your lucky night, baby.
Oh yeah.
I'm Ramsey the Devil.
Oh, this shit is solid silver.
See, I know what I'm doing.
I'm gonna send you back to hell.
I was never in hell.
Right were you belong?
Oh.
Well, I hope you like inviting innocent girls out
to dinner in hell.
Because that's where you'll be eating the rest
of your hot meals.
I guess that's it for you.
Dating is really dangerous nowadays.
You never know what you can get out there...
Ramsey the Devil.
I'm Ramsey the Devil.
Elizabeth! That's you, isn't it?
Yes, it's me.
Why don't you come out and fight?
Oh, it won't be a fight.
You destroyed my new friend,
and I'm getting tired of losing friends.
That was your friend?
That guy sucked!
Stupid intelligence officer.
What are you doing?
You're not even supposed to be out tonight.
Bye-bye, sugar pie.
Oh, come on.
I've wasted a lot of time.
Now you're going to die.
Get this thing off me.
Come on.
No. No, no, no.
You know you're lucky.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm.
You're about to go to the Kingdom of Paradise, right?
I don't want to.
While me... I'll just linger here forever.
You could pray for redemption.
I could give you peace.
See the stairway to heaven.
There you are.
You can't resist me.
Embrace me.
I'm gonna mutilate you.
Alexis was dead, and the long nights were back.
The old nights.
The broken nights,
the all-or-nothing nights,
the nights of blood and tears.
Don't think about me, happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts.
What are we gonna do now?
Just open the bar without Joan like normal?
Calm down.
Things can't just stop.
Maybe they should stop.
Just gonna go on like nothing happened?
Snap out of it.
You can't just leave me here completely alone
for eternity with Chuck.
I know.
I'm just having a moment.
There's only two of us left. And Chuck.
What are we supposed to do?
We can just turn one or two more girls.
We're not gonna be able to replace Joan.
I have my date tonight with the other hunter,
and she already shot me with a silver bullet.
Shot you? I thought you killed the hunter.
That was a different hunter.
Are you sure?
How many female hunters can there be in this town?
Well, there was at least two because I just killed one,
and then the one I've been dating
just showed up out of nowhere and shot me.
All the chips were on the table.
It was time to roll the dice under one last full moon.
I only needed one victory to redeem myself
from a lifetime of defeats.
Focus on subduing her and turning her.
Just finish my makeup, and then I'll call her.
I know you've been right here in town all along.
Invite me out to Club Silver Paradise
for our date, like we planned.
Meet me at the club.
It's as close to paradise as you're ever gonna get.
Thanks for reminding me.
I'll see you there.
What's wrong?
Don't you want to live forever,
forever, forever, forever?
The devil was ready for the violent goodbye.
No more hide and seek. No more happy thoughts.
I had to get close and make her bleed.
I've never known a girl Like you before
Now, just like in a song From days of yore
Here you come a-knocking, Knocking on my door
And I've never met a girl Like you before
You killed everybody.
I know.
This place is dead and soon you will be too.
Did I mention how hot you look with those pistols?
You know, I just lost a friend, too.
We'd been together for hundreds of years.
Go to hell.
I'm already in it.
Gotta shoot me.
You're a pretty good shot, but not good enough.
Now, it's my turn.
Eternity doesn't mean much
if you don't have someone to share it with.
Well, what are you waiting for?
You remind me of Joan.
I'm not Joan!
This can go one of two ways, Cora.
I could just kill you, and when you die,
it will be an endless sleep where there's nothing.
Or I could turn you, and we could be friends forever.
Burn in hell!
What do you really have to live for anyway.
Puppy dogs and ice cream.
I don't know.
Do you want to have a drink and talk about it?
Guess I'm out of options.
You're not.
It's supposed to be a date anyway.
You're gonna go blank soon.
I'm okay, you know?
That bitch in front of you is damned.
I'm fine.
What does it feel like?
Well, it definitely feels really good at first.
Feels good at first?
How about after this?
How's this feel at first?
Now you're as close to paradise as you'll ever be.
Jesus, I thought you'd be either dead or damned
by the time we got here.
War is a game best played with a grin.
And you've done a noble job.
I don't know what noble means.
You're late.
Let's sweep the bar.
There are no survivors.
Wasn't I so passionate
about wanting to kill Elizabeth Bathory
that I fell in love with her?
Maybe killing her was the only happy thing I could think of.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Did I drink the blood?
You drank the blood. You drank the blood.
You're right.
I drank the blood.
I drank the blood, drank the blood, the blood.
The memories would remain shuffled
like an old deck of cards.
And the story untold like a dream that was too sweet.
The cold, forever night was finally grinning
and touching my neck with its salty breath.
I became the devil's concubine.
A servant...
of the Countess...
Elizabeth Bathory.
Hello.
You look nice.
I'm hungry and cold.
I want you to hug me and take me out to dinner.