♪
[romantic music]
My darling, I love you more than you can imagine.
You deserve endless happiness and infinite love.
And that's why you deserve
the fastest 5G network in America,
with no hidden fees, and a free NorvaCom XP4 phone.
It's time you got engaged to Lumezza Wireless.
[Crew] And cut!
[Crew] Cutting!
[Crew] Reset.
I said cut.
Good job, Frank, Rene, that was beautiful work.
Let's go to the fifteens. Yes?
[softly] It was a little low.
I'm sorry, what?
The phone.
They were just wanting to get one where the phone's
- a little higher in the frame. - Higher?
It's gonna be a cutaway, so just tell them it'll be fine.
I'm... Just really quick.
So if we could just do one more where it's a little higher.
Going again!
[Crew] Going again! [bell rings]
[chattering]
Oh, thanks.
See ya, Anna.
Hey, decent day, right?
Yeah.
We're going up to the cabin this weekend.
Did I tell you that?
No, uh...
Lisa. Lisa and I.
We're going, going up to the cabin.
Oh, oh yeah, oh.
Yeah.
How, how are things with you and Lisa?
Lisa's planning a big hike for Sundurday-- Saturday.
- Oh. - Or Sunday.
Uh-huh.
She's going by herself, up into the mountains,
all alone, which I keep telling her,
I'm like, "Lisa, Lisa, it just sounds dangerous."
Okay.
It's also supposed to snow up there,
which feels even more dangerous.
Oh, oh.
Well, I should get going,
but you did a great job today.
And I really value our friendship.
Okay, well, see you, Dan.
[mysterious music]
[phone ringing]
[Man] Hello?
Have a good weekend!
[Man] Yeah, it's going to be fine.
No, not you. It's me.
Are we still good for tomorrow?
[Man] Oh yeah, I'll be there.
You've got the, uh,
you know, whatever you need for...
[Man] I got it.
Okay, alright, great. I'll see you at--
[Man] Hey, afterwards,
do you think we can take the boat out?
What?
[Man] 'Cause we're gonna be up there,
maybe we could take the boat out for fun?
No, no! Obviously not!
[Man] Okay, yeah.
Tomorrow! Noon! Don't be late!
[Man] No, I, I--
[Dan] Lisa and I are going up to the cabin this weekend.
Oh, fuck.
You see how many fucking blueberries are in this yogurt?
Yeah.
You know, everything is so damn sweet these days.
This whole country's going to hell.
I'm sorry about that, Dad.
Jesus.
[News Anchor] ... from areas surrounding the prison.
So Lisa is planning this big hike for Saturday.
Yeah, she's going up into the mountains all by herself.
I keep telling her it's very, very dangerous, but...
Lisa? Is she's still with you? I thought you fucked that up.
No, we're... fine.
I just thought it'd be nice to relax.
Relax? From what? From playing make believe
with your Hollywood pedophiles?
Or maybe relax from asking me for money?
Okay.
Relax from that, maybe.
I mean, you and your whole generation,
you've gotta have everything handed to you.
You cry when you don't get a trophy,
but you're not ready to bleed for it.
What you all need is a good war.
Yeah, I hear that about war, that it's good.
Well, it made a man out of me.
Men are not born, Daniel. They're made.
They're forged in a furnace of pain and suffering,
hardened by glorious battle.
Okay, Mister Burton--
Oh, fuck off, Kevin!
I'm sorry, Kevin.
Christ.
He's trying to poison me.
[sighs]
I should have died over there, in combat.
Not here.
Not like this, this.
Well, I should get going.
Dan, I wish a war upon you.
I know you do, Dad.
[mysterious music]
I said fuck off, Kevin!
♪ [car stereo playing faintly] ♪
[Rachel] Hey, Dan.
Hey, hey, Rachel.
Happy hunting.
Hey!
Hi.
Ready for some hiking?
What the hell are you talking about? I'm not hiking.
You always park so close to the bushes.
[car door closes]
[♪ Dehd "Bad Love"]
♪
♪ I was a bad love ♪
♪ Now I can get some ♪
♪ I got a heart full of, I got a heart full of ♪
♪ re-re-redemption ♪
♪ I was a bad love ♪
♪ Now I can get some ♪
♪ I got a heart full of, I got a heart full of ♪
♪ re-re-redemption ♪
♪
♪ Yeah, now run, baby, run ♪
♪ run from the bad love ♪
♪ new love, baby, come on, honey, give me some ♪
♪ run, baby, run ♪
♪ run from the bad love ♪
Why?!
♪ new love, baby, come on, honey, give me some ♪
♪ run, baby, run ♪
♪ run from the bad love ♪
♪ new love, baby, come on, honey, give me some ♪
♪ run, baby, run ♪
Oh, I liked that-- okay.
[♪ Norah Jones: "Nightingale"]
Okay. Okay.
♪
Can you not eat another protein bar on the way up
because I want to make you dinner,
and I don't want you to be full.
Oh.
I like it when you tell me what to do.
How's your dad?
He's fine.
The same. Loves you.
[laughs]
Utterly embarrassed by my existence.
What's that, the new play?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
How is it?
- It's good. - Horse.
Sorry, what were you saying?
It's fine.
Yeah, well, I'm certain you will get the part.
Thank you.
I don't know, though, 'cause the director's
kind of a pretentious asshole, you know.
Sort of part of our job description. [chuckles]
Yeah.
He's a theatre director though.
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Because I direct films, I'm not as good as...
You're saying films aren't art?
No, obviously films can be art.
You're saying my films aren't.
No, I'm saying you don't direct films.
I have.
Yeah, you directed one eight years ago,
but now you direct pop-up ads.
Oh-kay!
What?
Those pop-up ads, which is not exactly what they are,
by the way, paid off our VISA bill.
That you ran up!
- Supporting you! - Okay, wow.
And your noble work in the theatre.
Okay.
- Not Broadway, mind you. - Alright.
- Off-season... - Alright.
- Catskills... - Easy.
- Jukebox musicals. - Can we not?
Which gives you the artistic high ground of a--
Can we not?
- Something low. - Can we not?
A submarine!
Can we, please, Jesus, just pretend to be happy
- for one weekend?! - Yes!
So we can just fucking pretend?!
- Yes, yes. Yes. - Please!
Yes, yes.
Yes.
I wasn't even trying to insult you. I was trying to insult
this fucking guy.
But if it makes you feel any better,
I think you're an amazing director.
Well, we both know that's bullshit.
[laughing]
Horse!
[mysterious music]
Can you get the groceries, please?
Yeah.
Where's the key?
It's right where you're reaching, on top of the door.
No, it's not.
It is. You want me to help you?
No, I got it.
Hey, I found it!
Alright.
Oh, it's wine o'clock, motherfucker!
[laughs]
Oh.
I have fun, alright.
[♪ Betty Harris: "Trouble With My Lover"]
♪
♪ Sometimes I get lonesome ♪
♪ sometime I get a little blue ♪
♪ he got my walking around in circles ♪
♪ and after that I don't know what to do ♪
♪
♪ what good is a love if ♪
♪ you can't have it when you want it ♪
♪ what good is a love, hey, yeah ♪
♪ if you can't own it ♪
♪
♪ Love can be so good ♪
♪ and love can be so cruel ♪
This works.
♪ make you blow your cool ♪
♪ but when he put his arms around me ♪
♪ way in the little old dark ♪
♪ you know he fill me up with a kind of delight ♪
♪ ooh, the man's alright ♪
Fucking mice.
♪ I'm in a world of trouble (trouble) ♪
♪ (trouble with my lover) ♪
♪ I'm in a world of trouble (trouble) ♪
♪
Dammit.
♪ I feel so helpless ♪
[engine struggling]
♪ I wish I believed, ooh yeah ♪
♪ this man I love... ♪
[Dan whispering] Seems like a tablespoon.
Okay, I think we're good.
Oh, hey, have you seen my sweater?
Uh, which one?
Which one? The one that I always wear here.
The winter one. It's blue, has the decorative snowflakes on it.
Have you checked the closet?
The cl--
The closet where we keep the clothes?
Yes, I checked the closet.
Well, I haven't seen it.
Oh, can you not crush the garlic?
It needs to be sliced.
[snorts]
Yes, chef!
Okay.
I'm just trying to follow the recipe,
- and it says, "Thinly sliced garlic." - Oh, does it?
Okay, my God. Jesus.
Do you know what? I'm trying to make it nice for you.
Well, then be nice.
I'm being nice to you.
Are you?
Screaming at me about garlic.
Garlic's garlic, mate.
Okay.
Just shut it down, get back to...
What were you doing? Something.
[music playing faintly]
[Dan] It's so bendy.
It's so fibrous. Fuck me.
- For crying out loud! - No, no, no, no!
- Just fucking grab it! - Wait, it's not ready!
- There you go. Okay. - Gosh darn it to heck!
- Thank you, Lisa. - Sorry, sorry.
Yeah, you're good.
Why don't you go take a bath?
Why don't you go take a five hour bath?
[boat engine rumbling faintly]
Hey.
How is it?
Oh yeah, it's good. It's really good.
Great.
I picked these cuts out specifically.
And those peppercorns, you can't get them on the east coast.
I had to order them two weeks in advance.
From Ohio.
You ordered rare peppercorns from Ohio?
I did.
I just, I wanted this meal to be really special.
Why?
There's no why. I just wanted to cook you
your favorite food, give you a really nice experience.
Steak's not my favorite food.
It isn't?
Nope.
But you eat steak all the time.
I like steak, absolutely.
But it's not my favorite.
Okay, and what is your favorite food?
Ceviche.
Ceviche? Ceviche.
Ceviche.
The fish in citrus?
Yeah.
That's funny, I've never even seen you once order ceviche.
Never have we been in a restaurant and you've said,
"Do you have ceviche?
Excuse me, do you have ceviche?
I'll start with that."
That's because I only order it, darling,
if the restaurant does it well.
I see. What restaurants do it well?
Peruvian ones usually.
But any South American place--
That guy from your acting class, what's his name again?
Help me.
Who?
The swarthy one.
Oh, Dario?
- Dario! - Uh-huh.
That's it. Yeah.
Isn't that guy from Peru?
I don't know.
What's that got to do with anything?
Nothing, I was just changing the subject.
Oh, okay.
How's that thing you guys were writing together?
Uh, it's good, yeah, I think it's good.
- That's great. - Yeah.
Smart to write your own material, I think.
That's really smart.
Thank you.
[Dan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's a triple word score.
Zek?
What the fuck is a zek?
Zek is an approved word in the Scrabble dictionary.
Yeah, I'm going to challenge that.
Oh are you? Okay.
Fucking zek.
Dammit.
What?
You know what.
What happened? You can say it, it's okay.
[sarcastic laugh]
So that is...
Wow! That's twenty-eight points.
This is bullshit. This is bullshit.
You just memorized short, stupid Scrabble words.
I mean, what, what is this? Qin?
Qin.
You don't know what qin means.
I don't have to know what it means.
That's not the rules.
Yeah, but it's not fun.
Is it?
You qin some, you lose some.
Oh.
I was joking around.
Oh, come on. We used to joke like this a lot.
I'm going to bed.
Lisa, um--
Don't do this. Please don't do this.
[soft music]
[thunder rumbles]
[ominous music]
[Podcaster] I thought Bronwyn was insane in that scene.
[Co-host] Well, no, I'm glad that she didn't kiss the ring
I'm saying. I'm glad that Heather was like, "Fuck you."
[Audiobook Narrator] It's risky doing this thing,
and when you take chances, you can fall.
And then you have to decide to get up,
or stay down.
[Podcaster] And it's like, sweetie,
you're on a reality show.
This is who these people are.
[Audiobook Narrator] This is the wire you walk on up there.
[Podcaster] Someone's sad sack of a husband.
[Audiobook Narrator] So simple. You're here, then you're not.
The real benefit is if you don't have to suffer. It's just--
[Podcaster] Do not not bring Heather--
[Audiobook Narrator] ...without you knowing it.
[ominous music]
What gives you the right?
Why, the future of our little town, of course.
The house is not for sale, Mayor.
[ominous music]
My future, or yours, James?
[Lisa talking faintly]
[floorboard creaks]
[Lisa] Oh, Mayor Thompson.
I wasn't aware we had an appointment.
[ominous music]
[Lisa talking faintly]
[Lisa] I cared for him!
[floorboard creaks]
Oh, how does he know?
And what gives him the right to pry into our affairs?
What gives, what gives him...
What gives you the right?
What, what, what gives you the right?
What, what gives you the right?
[ominous music]
What gives you the right?
What gives you the right, Dan?
[grunting] [taser crackles]
[growling]
[grunting]
Eww.
[thud]
Mm-kay.
[ominous music]
Wakey wakey.
[breathing heavily]
Did you pee on me?
What? No, Dan, you peed on yourself.
Ugh, what the fuck is going on?
Not much.
Just having a cup of tea,
and wondering what this was for?
That's cleaning fluid.
Oh. [sniffs]
It smells pretty strong.
Mm-hmm. It is strong.
It's very strong.
Because that window is filthy,
and so I thought that I would--
Knock it unconscious?
Yeah.
Wait, no, what?
What? Unconsc-- What are you fucking talking about?
I was also curious about these.
Those are supplies.
Those are, those are my supplies.
For stuff.
This place is falling apart.
And what about the rocks in the boat?
What are they for?
My boat rocks?
I was collecting them for--
I saw you, you dumbass!
Okay, what is going on?! What are you doing?
Why do you have a taser, Lisa?
Lisa, let me go!
[grunting]
Ugh.
[groans] Fuck you.
[Dan grunting]
[chair thudding]
[suspenseful music]
Ah-ha-ha!
God dammit!
[handle clatters]
Oh, okay, alright.
Really, really cute.
Hey, hey, let's take, let's act like adults,
and have a conversation, okay?
You don't even know how to use that thing. Okay.
Okay, okay, hey! Hey!
Enough! Lisa, enough!
Lisa, stop it!
I think you were going to knock me unconscious,
strangle me with that,
take me out to the boat,
tie me to the bag of rocks you hid in there,
sink me to the bottom of the lake.
Am I close?
The only thing I don't know is what this guy's for.
What's the saw for, Dan?
I don't know what the hell you're talking about, and I--
Okay, okay, hey, hey, okay!
Bodies can float.
They can resurface if you don't
cut them up.
You were going to cut me up?
As if.
You can't even touch raw meat.
Then what? You were just going to tell people
that I just wandered off into the woods
and never came back?
Fuck, you're really dumb.
You're the dumbest person on Earth.
Why do you want to kill me anyway?
What sick reason do you have?
Why do you fucking think, Miss Ceviche?
[ominous music]
When did you find out?
I saw you.
Want a little tip?
If you don't want to get caught cheating,
maybe don't fuck a Peruvian at a party
that your husband is also at.
[exhales shakily]
You were going to kill and dismember me
because I slept with someone else?
Dan.
You haven't touched me in two years.
The last time we had sex we didn't even have sex,
we just jerked off next to each other.
Because all you do is fucking criticize me!
You make me feel so small!
Like I'm nothing!
Do you think that I need help with that?
You think that every day I don't wake up
feeling like a piece of shit?
And everything sounds so mean
in your stupid fucking accent.
It's like British crossed with the Devil.
I wanted a wife, not to be married to my mother!
And I wanted a man,
not some forty year old toddler!
I wanted someone responsible,
who had their shit together!
I thought marrying someone ten years older,
they'd be fucking mature, but no!
I'm stuck with a giant, shitting baby!
How'd you like that in my accent?!
- Fuck, you are so pathetic. - I'm going to fucking--
You are pathetic, and your plan sucks.
My plan, on the other hand...
[kisses] Magnifico.
And what was your plan?
Not was, bloody is.
[ominous music]
[chuckles maniacally]
[ominous music]
[Rachel] Hunting?
Yes, I know.
I'm begging him not to, but he's so excited about it.
He insists on us doing it to help us, like...
bond?
My god, that is so Dan.
Why would he think you'd be into that?
I don't know. You know how much I hate guns.
So dangerous. Anything could happen.
- [Henry] Hey! - Ah! Fucking Christ!
Just a few more leaves, then I'm done.
Okay, thanks, Henry. I'll Paypal you.
Thank you.
'Kay, see ya.
Oh. 'Kay.
Bye.
Henry. He went to Dan's high school,
and prison.
Yeah. Dan helps him out.
We pay him to do chores and stuff.
[laughs]
Oh my God, this is such an amazing house.
I have no idea why you'd want to move.
Yeah, you know, just time for a change.
[car approaches]
[music playing faintly]
Hey, Dan!
Hey, hey, Rachel.
Happy hunting!
I didn't want to go.
I kept telling you hunting was a crazy idea.
Everyone knows how much I hate guns.
Everything was fine until it started getting dark.
We went for a walk.
And I guess the safety must not have been on.
Because suddenly I tripped,
and your head splattered all over the place.
What the fuck?
Your big plan is to just shoot me?
That is honestly so fucked up.
You just tried to kill me!
Yes, but I was being nice about it.
By strangling me?!
After cooking you a lovely meal.
Okay.
And you wouldn't have felt anything.
You would have been unconscious.
The only thing you'd have felt is the rush of euphoria
that accompanies cerebral hypoxia,
which I know about because I did research
because I am considerate!
Yeah, you're real considerate.
I'm feeling really turned on right now.
Should we renew our vows, fucking do it on the table?
Okay, you know, whatever, it doesn't matter.
Your plan's never going to work.
And why's that?
Because, Lisa, you...
are a terrible fucking actress.
[ominous music]
Fuck you.
You're rigid, you lack presence,
and you're too fucking big.
Fuck you!
You know it's true.
And the cops are never going to buy your bullshit
because they're gonna see exactly what I've seen
for the past seven years,
somebody just pretending to care.
[chuckles] Like you could do any better.
What's happening?
[sniffles] I don't know what happened.
She should've been back by now.
I told her it was too dangerous.
Can you please do something?
Can you please, can you please help?
You have to call somebody! Please, quick!
He's still breathing!
She's not just gone!
I refuse to accept that!
Oh my God, there's so much blood!
Oh, Lisa!
Oh, my sweet and beautiful Lisa!
Stay with me, Dan! Don't walk into the light!
Oh, Heaven has another angel.
You have so much life to live!
Oh God!
Don't go!
Oh God!
Come down from Heaven and save her!
Heaven isn't ready for you!
[Dan sobbing]
Oh God, she was so beautiful in life!
Oh!
I can only hope in death, her beauty survived.
[mischievous music]
Come on, come on.
[Dan] Oh no!
[laughing]
Oh yeah, baby!
Dammit!
Like Benedict fucking Cumb--
Fuck! Ow!
- You know what? - Ow!
Maybe the gun went off inside the house.
Let's, let's just talk about this!
No, I'm done talking.
It's time to say goodbye.
No, Lisa.
It's hammer time.
What?
I'm saying...
It's hammer time.
What are you talking about?
I'm just saying, it's hammer time. Now.
Now! Now!
Now is hammer time! Now!
For fuck's sake, Henry, hit her with the hammer!
Oh!
[bang]
[thud]
Sorry, that was so unclear.
Where the fuck have you been?!
[ominous music]
[Henry] It's hammer time!
Yeah! [bell rings]
Why did you want to meet here?
It's a theme park, it's fun.
It's loud.
Exactly, it's less suspicious.
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
Also, I think there's a dance show later.
I don't give a shit, Henry.
Hey, don't be rude.
You're the one who needs me. Don't forget that.
Yeah, I know. Just for the later part.
That's the bit I can't--
Man, that's the easy part.
You know, I'm more than happy to take care of the--
No, no, I have to do that.
Alright.
Now, about my compensation.
She's insured for a hundred thousand.
You get half.
Yeah, yeah, but like, in addition,
I would also like for us to hang out more.
Okay, okay. Okay, man, sure.
And I'd like to have it in writing.
You'd like to have it in writing?
Yeah.
You'd like to have a written document
on how we're going to murder my wife?
I... Would...
I'm not having this fucking conversation, Henry.
Be there on time!
You're lucky I'll be there at all.
I got shit to do, man.
[ominous music]
[children's music playing]
[Dancer] Everybody dance!
[mysterious music]
Wakey wakey.
Oh, fuck.
My turn to ask some questions.
[groans]
Don't waste your strength. I think you'll find
that tape is quite-- God dammit!
Hey, stop. Henry, grab her! Grab her!
- Stop. Seriously, stop. - What the fuck is he doing here?
- [Dan] Wrap her up. - What the fuck! Get off me!
Fucking gronk!
Oh, I knew you didn't have the balls to do this yourself.
You have to get Henry to do it? Fucking Henry?!
Hey! Don't not be nice!
And for your information, he does have the balls.
He's the one doing the killing.
[Dan] That's enough.
I'm only doing the second part because blood
makes Dan uncomfortable.
Henry.
What reason could you possibly have
for wanting to kill me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I knew it. You can't even think of a single--
You're controlling,
you're weak,
you're insecure.
You pushed me to quit my job where I was making real money
so I could focus on acting
and you didn't even fucking help me do that.
You didn't even give me a tiny role in your movie!
Did you? No. You could've.
You lost all our money, Dan!
[ominous music]
You lost the car, you lost the house,
you lost fucking everything!
All I wanted was to be loved and supported,
but instead you fucked both of our futures up!
Now, even if I divorce you, I'll never get away
from the debt.
There it is.
The insurance money.
Yeah, Dan, that's the only reason. The money.
Right. You kill me and--
I'm finally free.
Well, that's weird.
- What is weird? - Nothing.
The insurance money is a coincidence.
Shut up, Henry!
I mean, that's why we're killing you.
Henry, stop talking.
Huh.
Dario, huh?
Yeah, well, two birds.
I'm getting half.
Fifty thou.
I'm gonna buy an RV.
Wait, what?
Shut up, Henry!
Hey, enough!
- Wait! - Enough!
You shut up, and you shut your mouth!
You shut up, you shut your mouth!
Henry, Henry, Henry, the policy is for--
[ominous music]
Okay.
Okay, okay, I did it, and yeah, it's happening now.
And it's different than how I thought--
Oh, boy. It'll be over soon.
[Henry] Dan?
Yes.
Take the bag off.
What the fuck are you doing, Henry?
Take it off. Let her talk.
Henry, I'm in the middle of something right now.
Do it!
Okay. Fine, is that what you want?
Are you happy?
[gasping]
[coughing]
Henry, listen to me.
The policy is for a million dollars.
You lied to me?
No, absolutely not. You misheard me.
[Lisa] He lied to you, but I will give you half.
Oh, fuck you.
Mm-hmm, yup. Five hundred grand.
Shoot him in the fucking face!
Alright.
Seven-fifty. Henry, just shoot her. Shoot her!
- All of it! - All?
I will give you one million dollars.
Well, now you know she's lying.
Henry, shoot her in the head,
and then we'll take the boat out!
With fishing?
With fishing.
The boat. The boat.
I, I will set you up with one of my friends.
Rachel?
Rachel! Yes, Rachel. She really likes you.
[Henry] Really?
[Lisa grunts]
[intense music]
[groans]
You're not my buddy! You lied!
Give me the gun, you fucking psycho!
You never wanted to be my friend!
[gun shot]
[jukebox starts playing]
[struggling]
[jukebox playing]
[grunting]
[spits]
Grow up!
[spits] Ah!
[grunting]
Okay, guys, I think we all just--
[gun shot]
[high pitched ringing]
[muffled echoing]
[wheezing]
Oh my god!
- Oh my god! Oh my god! - Jesus Christ!
- Oh my god! - What did you do?!
- What did I do? - You pulled the trigger!
You were holding the fucking barrel!
Can you just for once admit when you're wrong?!
I am not wrong!
I was holding the gun like this.
Yeah.
[jukebox playing]
[grunting]
[Dan grunting]
God dammit!
[clanging]
[Dan growling]
[ominous music]
[laughing]
[grunt]
[Dan] Oh, jeez.
[groaning] [scream]
Ah, fuck! My fucking foot!
You stabbed my fucking foot!
Ha-ha!
[growling]
[glass crashing]
[struggling]
[gun shot]
[intense music]
[groaning] Fuck! Fuck!
[groaning] Fuck you!
[clattering]
Oh, fuck!
Ah!
[screams]
[struggling]
[gun shot]
[muffled screaming]
[cracking]
[screaming]
[coughing]
[Woman groaning]
[coughing]
That's your favorite movie?
[ominous music]
[dog barks]
[gasping]
Rock.
Oh.
Cornflakes. [mumbles]
[television playing faintly]
[Reporter] As the manhunt has expanded
further to the north,
police, again, are seeking any information
as to the whereabouts of correctional officer,
Allegra Danvers,
and two convicted killers,
Peter Jacob Hughes,
and Todd James Templeton.
What a dork. Stupid fucking hat.
[Allegra moaning]
Oh God!
[moaning]
You dirty pig! You dirty pig!
Who's my filthy little piggy?
[Pete] Me.
Say you love me!
[Pete] Sure.
[moaning]
Hmm, penguins.
So we stay here for a couple days
till things mellow out, then we'll try to find a car.
Dressed like this?
[mysterious music]
This guy's clothes suck.
I don't know, I like a big woolly sweater.
It's kinda cozy.
[car approaching]
[Pete] Shit.
[Lisa] Can you get the groceries?
I say we jump 'em.
What if more people show up?
Uh, boys?
[ominous music]
Shit! Fuck me!
Pete!
[ominous music]
[Lisa] Where's the key?
[Dan] Right where you're looking. It's above the door.
[Lisa] It's wine o'clock, motherfucker!
Ha-ha-ha!
[whispering] Baby, can't we just kill them?
[whispering] We lay low, we ride it out.
Just be patient.
[whispering] Where are you going?
[whispering] I have to pee.
[whispering] Here you go.
[whispering] Thanks, Toddy.
[whispering] You're welcome.
[whispering] You can't just hold it?
[whispering] I'm not going to piss in my pants.
I have dignity.
[urine tinkling]
[whispering] "I have dignity."
[whistling]
[soft string music]
[whispering] I'm bored.
[whispering] I said, I'm bored.
Correct. This is boring. Be bored, honey.
[whispering] Let's, like, do something.
What do you wanna do? You wanna play charades?
[Todd] I'll play charades.
Okay.
I wasn't being--
[Allegra] I'll go first.
Movie.
Nose.
Scissors.
[Pete] Two words, Todd.
Nose.
Heart.
Heart, your heart?
Heart, heart you?
Your sweater, your heart, me.
Me, me. Heart.
Me heart.
Me, me heart!
Shut the fuck up.
It's her favorite movie.
Nose.
Shh, hey. There's another one coming.
[ominous music]
[Pete] This one's fucking weird.
[Todd] Babe, Pig in the City!
[Allegra] No.
[ominous music]
[Todd] Throw Momma From the Train!
[Allegra] No!
[Todd] Mommy, Dearest!
Harry Potter?
No!
Just shut up.
He's almost got it, Pete!
You're being so discouraging.
Why are you so discouraging?
Shut the fuck up!
You shut the fuck up!
[faint gun shot]
[footsteps running]
[Dan and Lisa screaming]
Oh, shit.
Mamma Mia?
Yes! [gun shot]
[screaming]
[floor cracking] [crash]
[Allegra groaning]
[Pete] That's your favorite movie?
[ominous music]
[Pete] Wakey wakey.
What the fuck?
What is on this steak?
Some kind of special pepper?
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
I told you it was the pepper.
[Allegra] You guessed it.
[Todd] It's delicious. Hmm.
It's very good, this pepper.
It's from, from Ohio.
Oh, go Buckeyes.
I'm sorry, um, who are you?
I'm Pete.
That's Allegra.
It's Italian.
Good afternoon.
[Pete] And the big guy is Todd.
You shot me in the ass.
[Pete] Well, normally in a conversation
this is where I'd ask you your names,
but in my experience, it's better to keep you dehumanized,
so for now, let's call you...
[Todd] Ron and Hermione.
Say again?
Ron and Hermione.
[Pete] Ron, Hermione.
[chuckles]
I hate to overstep, but it seems like you guys
have some marital issues.
[Allegra chuckles]
And who'd this guy piss off?
[Lisa] Him, he did that.
Excuse me, we did that!
You pulled the trigger!
We discussed this. I may have been holding the barrel,
but you came up and--
Ronald Weasley.
He was try--
It was an accident.
[ominous music]
How'd it feel?
It was pretty good, right?
When the lights go out, there's just nothing else there.
It's just, there's just nothing.
That's it.
It's cool, right?
What do you want?
Fine, enough small talk.
For the past seven years my colleague Todd and I
were wards of the state, until we were granted
an early and unofficial parole. Now--
[Allegra] 'Cause we're in love.
What?
Well, if you're going to tell the story,
don't skip out on the best part.
I was a corrections officer.
I helped him escape because we're in love.
Isn't that right?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, yeah, we're in love.
Anyhow, our plan has bumped up against
a liquidity problem,
and what we require now is cash.
My wallet is right upstairs. You can--
Believe it or not, it did occur to us to check your wallet
and your purse, and we're very appreciative
of the fifty-three whole dollars we found.
[Lisa] Okay, but there's another two hundred,
two hundred in the ceramic pot in the office upstairs.
Just take it, take it and go. We're not going to say--
Aren't you hospitable?
And if we were looking to purchase a high end blender,
why, we'd be well on our way.
But we require more than that.
Thoughts?
We don't have anything else. [Lisa whimpers]
I swear to God, we don't have anything.
Ron, do you really expect me to believe
you used your last dimes on special pepper?
[Lisa] He did. He does that.
- He's bullshit with money. - No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. - No, I'm not.
We're broke because you needed to pretend you were rich!
In our industry, in our industry,
it's important to keep up appearances, and so--
[Lisa] It's not a thing.
Can you not do this right now?
Hey!
Your purse had the Louis Vuitton--
Alright, look, large knife! Large knife!
I did that with yours!
[Allegra] Honey.
Can I?
Can I take a stab at this?
I'll trade you.
Thank you.
Todd, circle up.
Cool.
[ominous music]
Please don't. No, no, no, no.
Please, please, please, please, please.
Oh my God, please don't. Please don't.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Whatever I did, I'm so sorry.
Oh, fucking relax!
You know what the worst part about working in a prison is?
It's the night shift. It's so boring.
Everybody's asleep, there's no action,
there's no contraband searches.
And it's just quiet.
And so me and a couple of the guards,
we got together, and we got it in our minds
to play this really fun game.
[Pete] Honey?
What?
Hmm?
Why are you always micromanaging me?
It's fun. I want to have fun.
I'm having fun, too.
Anyway, it's super easy to learn.
We'd just go and grab a couple of guys,
and we would drag them out of their cell.
[grunts]
Down to the laundry room, where it was nice and quiet.
And then we'd draw this big circle around them.
Then we would see who could fuck who first.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And the winner would get a pack of cigarettes.
And the loser, well, the loser would just get fucked.
No, no, I don't wanna. I don't wanna.
Of course you don't want to.
That's the whole point is you don't wanna!
If you don't want to play the game, you don't have to play.
Thank God.
You can just tell us where your money's at.
Listen, please.
Okay, right, I understand, sir.
I understand.
I'm not lying to you. Please. I respect you.
I respect you, I wouldn't lie to you.
We don't have any money.
Please, please don't do this to me.
My God, you know you have a fighting chance
because you've got a couple inches on him,
and the good news is Todd now has a handicap.
'Cause you shot me in the ass.
[Allegra] But the bad news is, he's gotten really good
at playing this game.
[Dan] We don't have to do this!
Listen to me! We don't have to do this.
We can think of another solution.
Let's think of another way. We'll all sit down--
Todd, honey, are you ready?
- Hold on. - Fuck.
Alright, let's go.
Ron?
I'm not ready. I don't want to do it.
Fucking hold on, please just wait.
Let's just stop doing this.
- On your marks-- - No, come on!
I said I'm not ready!
Get set.
Stop! Don't fucking do this!
Play ball! [laughing]
Oh my God!
[laughing]
I don't have any money!
I overdrew my account months ago!
[screams]
[Allegra laughs]
Ron, you're out of the circle.
They never stay in the circle.
[sobbing]
No, stop, please! I'll do anything!
I'll do anything at all.
It's gonna get messy. [laughs]
[grunting]
Help me! Please, please, please, please, please, please.
Shh, shh.
I want to watch your eyes when it first goes in.
We've got a wiggler! We've got a wiggler! [laughs]
Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up!
Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!
Why do you have that?
What?
That, that, the movie poster.
Are you just a big fan or something?
[weeping] That's my film. I directed it. I directed it.
You directed that?
[weeping] Yes.
Dude, are you fucking with me?
No, I swear to god I'm not.
You fucking directed that?
Yes.
- I love that movie! - He loves that movie.
You saw it?
Oh my god, I've seen it multiple times!
In the theatre?
No, in prison. We talked about that.
- At the movie night. - [Allegra] Movie night.
We saw it together!
Movie night.
Oh, but honey, that's a good movie.
You love that movie.
That's a very fucking good movie.
It's solid.
You know, one thing I did think,
at the end, the main guy,
he's kind of a pussy, but you're rooting for him,
he should've sacrificed himself.
The producers wanted a happy ending,
so I had to give them what they wanted.
Oh no!
You wanted to do the...? And they...?
[groaning]
It's your movie, not theirs!
You have to fight for that shit!
[Dan] I know.
But seriously, you've got a real voice.
It's good stuff.
Thank you.
You know what I'm saying?
Thank you. It means a lot coming from you.
Okay!
Alright, as you were.
What, no! Stop! No, stop! Oh god, no, no, no!
Lisa, do something!
Please don't do this to me! No!
[groaning]
What's the issue?
Hold on.
Oh yeah, here we go!
Oh god, no, no, no! No, fuck!
[Dan screaming]
[Todd] Gimme a second.
Here we go.
[ominous music]
Nah.
Sorry, guys.
What the fuck, Todd?
Can we just get this over with?
[groaning]
[Lisa screams]
[Dan sobbing]
Open your eyes.
Open your eyes!
Don't be rude. Say goodbye to your wife.
Please don't.
Say goodbye to your fucking wife!
[Allegra] Say goodbye.
Goodbye.
[suspenseful music]
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stop, okay! I have money.
I have money. I have fifty grand.
I've been setting it aside. There's a bank,
there's a bank in town, when it opens,
you can have it, you can have all of it.
Fucking don't touch us!
Either of us.
Okay, deal.
Well, that wasn't so hard, now was it?
[snickers]
Again, big fan.
[News anchor] This marks the second year--
[grunting]
I, I have to dig in it.
[Todd] Ah.
[News anchor] In other news, a raccoon by the name of Felix
has been seen all over Southfield
on top of people's cars.
Dan?
Dan.
How did we get here?
I was so in love with you.
When we found each other, I thought...
I thought that...
we'd always be a team,
that we would take on the world together,
that, that we'd have a good life.
I don't know what happened.
It got so ugly.
And then...
Dario.
I don't even know why I did it.
I think maybe I wanted to get caught.
I think I wanted you to fight for us.
I'm so sorry.
Whatever. They're going to kill us anyway.
Okay, tomorrow,
we take her to the bank, get the money,
kill them both, drive south,
find a spot to ditch the car, cross the border.
You're just gonna ditch the car?
Well, yeah. A stolen car stuffed with dead bodies...
It's a really nice car. I mean, it could be helpful.
You don't care about that?
Uh...
You don't care that that car has been nothing
but helpful to us in our escape?
Like, where's the respect for that?
Where's the basic level of human decency?
It's a Volvo.
[ominous music]
[clattering]
What I'm saying is we can get rid of it
because we won't have any use for it.
I'm just saying, Pete, that if you get rid of that automobile
like it's a piece of fucking trash,
you'd better be careful that it doesn't come back
and just burn your fucking dick off!
How?
I don't know.
[Dan] Hello! Hey!
What are you doing?
Hey! Hey!
Can you go see what the fuck's going on?
I gotta deal with her.
[Dan] Hello!
Hey! Hello! Can somebody come down?
[ominous music]
[Dan yelling faintly]
What do you want, Ron Weasley?
I have to go to the bathroom.
Ah, you can piss in your fucking pants.
It's number two.
[ominous music]
Hey, are they allowed to take dumps?
[Pete] Yeah, fine.
Alright.
[groaning]
Fuck, oh god! God, okay!
You're not gonna try anything dumb now, are you?
No!
I just have to take a shit, okay, I swear to god!
Please, please!
Alright.
Get up.
No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ah!
Hmm? Hmm?
Go on.
Go potty.
You're not allowed to touch me.
But I'm not touching you.
I'm not touching you.
Boop! Boop!
I'm not touching you.
[toilet flushes]
Ronald Weasley.
Hey, hey, what the fuck?
[intense music]
Oh!
[ominous music]
[clattering]
Okay, okay.
Oh my god, I think I-- [gasping]
Shh.
Okay. Wait a minute.
What, Dan? What the fuck?
Shh.
Okay.
[ominous music]
[Pete] I'm sorry, baby.
[breathing heavily]
Baby. Aren't you my baby?
Hmm?
Where's my baby girl?
[ominous music]
[knife clatters]
[grunt]
[gasping]
Is that my baby girl?
Hmm?
[ominous music]
There's my baby girl.
Oh, you're such an asshole.
[ominous music]
[moans]
[moaning]
Fuck me. Fuck me.
Oh, you fucking pig, do it now.
Oh!
Todd? Are we good?
- [Pete] Todd? - [Allegra] Oh god, he's fine.
[Pete] Are we good?
- [Pete] Todd? - [Allegra] I'm sure he's fine.
[Pete] God dammit!
- [Pete] Todd! - [Allegra] He's fine.
Todd?
[ominous music]
What the fuck?
Oh my god!
[softly] Todd.
[grunts]
[Pete] Hey, look at me.
What happened?
Weasley hit me with a sock.
With what?
A sock?
Yeah.
Fuck!
[footsteps above]
Fuck!
[ominous music]
[gasping]
[suspenseful music]
[Pete] Shh.
[Pete] She can't be far.
[Todd] Weasley!
Todd, you take the road. We'll take the forest.
[gasping]
Shit!
Shit! Okay.
Shit!
Okay, okay, um...
Um, um... Okay.
Dang it.
[suspenseful music]
[Todd] Peek-a-boo.
I see you.
Drop it.
[knife clatters]
What you got in your other hand there?
Nothing.
[Todd] Give it over.
- Uh... - Shut up.
Okay.
Boop.
Remember, the money.
No, no, no, no, no.
You see, that deal's over. You guys hit me in the head,
so now you've got to fucking die.
Those are the rules.
Rules? What, what, what, what rules?
Okay, okay, please! You don't have to do this.
[Todd] That's what everybody says.
[Lisa] We can figure something out.
We can figure something out.
[Todd] And they say that too.
[Lisa] Listen, listen. Listen, okay,
there's something you don't know.
There's something you don't know.
[ominous music]
I'm pregnant.
[ominous music]
I'm twelve and a half weeks. It's a little girl.
[Lisa sobbing]
Bullshit.
I swear I'm not lying! I swear!
No, you woulda said something before.
I couldn't say anything before because...
I had an affair, okay?
And it's not my husband's.
Oh. Poor Ron Weasley.
I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him.
Please, just let me go. Please.
She didn't do anything to anyone. Please!
Please don't kill my baby! [sobs]
[Todd] Fine.
I just won't shoot you in the stomach.
No!
- [Todd screaming] - [Dan screaming]
[gun shot]
Oh shit.
- Ah! - [grunt]
[grunt]
Fuck off!
Ah!
[grunting]
[struggling]
[Todd howls]
[grunt]
[crashing]
[grunt]
[groaning]
[growling]
You go there!
[screaming]
Ah!
[screaming] Eyes!
[intense music]
Ah!
[glass shattering]
[Lisa grunting]
[grunting]
Fucking hell! Oh shit!
[screaming]
[crashing]
[intense music]
[choking]
Ooh!
[intense music]
[gasping]
[intense music]
[grunt]
[gasping]
[groan]
[intense music]
[struggling]
[intense music]
[Lisa] Oh my god.
Oh my god. Okay. Okay.
[screaming]
[grunt]
[grunting]
[Lisa] Oh!
Oh fuck!
Okay, okay, okay, okay!
Oh! Whole thing! Okay.
[screaming]
[grunt]
[Lisa & Todd growling]
Oh, die you cooked cunt!
[Lisa screams]
[whimpering]
[ominous music]
[Todd grunts]
[breathing heavily]
Oh god, okay.
- [grunt] - Oh, fucking hell!
[groaning]
[Todd growling]
[grunt]
[gasping]
[clattering]
[ominous music]
[gun cocks]
[gun clicks]
Dumbledore.
I caught the snitch.
[thud]
[Pete] Todd?!
Boat keys, boat keys!
Come on! Oh fuck!
Go, go, go, go!
Okay, okay, okay! Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
Todd?
Oh my god!
Oh no!
Oh my god, Toddy?
Toddy! Oh no!
Why would anybody do this?
He was such a great person!
I'm going to kill you, you motherfuckers!
Dan, come!
Sure.
[ominous music]
Fuck.
This is all my fault.
You're right.
I didn't fight for you.
I didn't fight for us.
[whispering] Outside.
When things started falling apart with us,
I got so scared.
I just felt like such a failure.
And I didn't know how to stop it,
or how to fix it, so I just gave up.
I'm so sorry.
[weeping]
[floor creaking]
Babe, they're coming.
I want you to get to the boat,
and I want you to run.
What about you?
That's not important.
I know that you're pregnant. And I know it's not mine.
Wait.
I don't care. I really don't care.
No, Dan, Dan--
[Dan] I mean, after all this fucking shit,
when I heard you, my first thought,
I wasn't mad. I was really excited.
Dan, I was lying.
What?
I had to stall him.
You're not pregnant?
No.
At all?
Not even a little bit.
Lisa.
That was the best fucking acting I've ever seen.
Yeah?
Gotcha.
Ah!
[grunt]
[gun shot]
[intense music]
Ah!
Fucking bitch!
Sorry, sweetheart.
Ah!
[scream]
Ow!
[groaning]
[grunt]
[Allegra] Oh god, you broke it.
- Thank you. - Let's go.
[crashing]
Woo!
[grunting]
[laughing maniacally]
[growling]
[grunting]
Fucking nail him! He hurt my back!
Fucking asshole!
[grunting]
[growls]
Oh!
[gasping]
I'm sorry.
[ominous music]
Remember me?
This is what happens when you fuck with...
Todd.
Todd! Yes!
My name is Todd.
[Pete screams]
[growls]
Fucking hold her!
[groaning]
Let me tell you something, Ron Weasley.
You kill enough people,
it honestly starts to get a bit boring.
Like in a relationship, the key is finding ways
to keep things fresh.
Isn't that right, honey?
[ominous music]
[screaming]
[Lisa screams]
Stay.
I've stabbed, choked, smothered.
Smelted my old Scout master with acid,
which was more trouble than it was worth.
Very hard to get, acid.
But one thing I've never done is shove someone's face
into a lawnmower.
[engine rumbles]
So thank you for this.
[engine rumbling]
No!
Shut up and watch.
Go ahead, honey.
No, no, no, no, please! No! Please, please, please!
[screaming]
Fuck you! Please, please!
Isn't this fun, us trying something new together?
Stop it, please! Please!
Shut the fuck up!
[screaming]
[Allegra laughing]
He's not going to have a face!
[Allegra laughing]
[Lisa screaming]
[electronic dance music playing faintly]
[car engine roaring]
Shit!
[electronic dance music playing]
[music stops]
[Pete groaning]
[western music]
Who fucked up my window?
[ominous music]
[♪ Barenaked Ladies: "One Week" playing faintly]
♪ the Chinese chicken ♪
♪ You have a drumstick and then your brain stops tickin' ♪
[Man] Hmm.
Well, that don't look right.
[ominous music]
[phone vibrating]
Oh, what the fuck?
[phone vibrating]
Michael Burton speaking.
[Carl] Mike, can you hear me?
It's Carl Marshall, down by the lake.
- Carl? - [Carl] Yeah.
I'm just phoning to say, Mike,
that I was driving past your place,
and I had to go to the 24-hour convenience store, you know,
so Mike, I took the back way, you know?
I prefer the back way to the front.
[ominous music]
Potato starch, and some tomatoes.
Carl, what is this about?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was driving past your place, and--
[coughing]
One second, Mike.
Oh.
[Carl coughing]
Excuse me.
Okay, so anyways, one of your pots
was out on the front lawn.
What?!
Also, one of your windows was smashed.
Look, Carl, goodbye, Carl.
Mike? Mike?
[groans]
[ominous music]
That fucking kid.
[ominous music]
Whoa, whoa, Mister Burton,
I need you to go back to your room.
I'm sorry, Kevin, I gotta go.
There's a problem up at my cabin.
Mister Burton, please.
[grunt]
[thud]
Give me your fucking car keys, now.
[heavy guitar music]
Don't wait up.
[Kevin coughing]
[car alarm beeps]
Fuck yeah!
[electronic dance music blasts]
Oh, fuck me! What is this shit?
What the fuck?
Yes! No, no, no, no.
Jesus Christ!
[♪ Sam F. featuring Juliette Lewis: "Welcome to Ibiza"]
[tires screech]
♪
♪ Welcome to Ibiza! ♪
♪
[♪ Sam F. featuring Karen Gillan: "(Fuck) Like This"]
Turn! Music! Off!
♪
You motherfucker!
Oh, what?!
You've got to be shitting me!
Kevin, you asshole!
♪
Hey, cupcake, fill it up!
[bell dings]
[paper rips]
No, thanks.
[engine revs]
[electronic dance music blaring]
♪ When I party, I fuck like this ♪
♪
When I party, I fuck like this!
Yeah, yeah!
♪ When I party, I party like this ♪
♪
Dan?
Ah!
Shit!
[electronic dance music blaring]
[music stops]
Who fucked up my window?
Baby!
[Pete groans]
Dad?
Dan?
[Allegra] Are you broken?
So who are these dusty cunts?
Who the fuck are you?
Can you hear me?
[Todd] Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.
[gun cocks]
Stay the fuck back, old man. I'll slit her fucking throat!
[gun shot]
[ominous music]
You good, Lis?
Mm-hmm.
Toddy!
Alright.
[gun cocks]
[Michael] Who's next?
[groans]
Is it you?
[Dan] Dad, look out!
- [Dan] No! No! Die!
You fucking ape!
[gun shot]
[Allegra screaming]
Oh.
- [grunting] - [Allegra] Fucking piece of fucking--
Oh.
Look, you're going to die, old man.
No.
I'm gonna eat your nose.
[screaming]
I'm gonna get you!
- [screaming] - [Mike laughing]
[intense music]
[groan]
[Allegra moans]
[growling]
Dad!
Run, Danny.
Your nose tastes like shit.
[growls]
Dan! Get in the car!
[growling]
[Allegra screaming]
[electronic dance music blaring]
[screaming] Fucking come on!
[engine struggling]
What the fuck is happening?
[intense music]
[Dan] Dad! Dad!
[blood splattering]
Come on! Come on!
[grunt]
[engine revs]
[gun shot]
Go!
[gun shot]
[screaming]
[crash]
[Allegra weeping]
[sigh]
Lisa?
Lisa.
Lisa, wake up. Lisa, wake up.
- Ah! - Lisa.
Ah, ooh.
Oh, okay. That's okay.
That's okay. Hey, it goes right there.
He shot off my, my hair.
What does, does it look,
does it look okay? How does it look?
[onimous music]
It looks fine.
You know what? I actually think it looks good.
Okay.
No, no. Hey, hey, right here.
I need you to get to the boat, okay?
Okay.
Where are you going?
I have to go take care of something.
I don't want to, I don't want to lie to you.
I don't want to lie to you ever again, okay?
I want to start communicating honestly.
The whole side of your head looks like shit.
It looks like a total nightmare.
I don't want to repress things anymore, and--
Dan, Dan, I appreciate what you're trying to do,
I really do, but now is not the fucking time!
Right, right.
- Okay, let's fucking go. - Okay.
I am in so much pain! Oh!
Ow!
[howling]
We just gotta wrap this up, okay?
Hey, help me up.
Nah, I'm good.
Wait, what?
I think we should break up.
What?!
Yeah.
It's just not working out for me.
What are you talking about?
This is just a setback!
Oh, you motherfucker!
Oh, you're a fucking coward!
[Allegra] You fucking piece of shit!
I will cut your fucking dick off, shit head!
Ow!
[Allegra] Motherfucker!
[intense music]
[gasping]
Fucking piece of shit asshole!
[ominous music]
Oh my god! I knew I shouldn't have left my fucking job!
Oh!
[groaning]
[scream]
Come on.
Oh, that goes there.
Okay, okay.
[sobbing] Oh god, oh god, oh god.
[screaming]
[moaning]
[sobbing]
Okay, okay.
Oh god, ow!
[screaming]
[breathing heavily]
Oh, that's better. That's better.
[panting]
Oh, that's better.
[crack]
[screaming]
[gasping]
[intense music]
[engine struggling]
Come on!
Shit!
Fuck you!
God dammit! Work!
We got ourselves a wiggler.
[screams]
Wait, don't shoot.
I'd like my sweater back.
Wait! I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I wasn't in my right mind, I was being manipulated.
I was totally brainwashed.
I didn't see you as human, but we are. I'm human,
you're human.
I see you now.
Please, let me go. I'll just run away into the woods
and we'll never know this happened.
[gun cocks]
Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit!
Oh my god, you were gonna kill a cop?
Go ahead, make my day, asshole!
Kill a federal officer! That's what I am!
They'll all come after you, you motherfucking,
titty sucking, two ball bitch!
I fucking dare you!
[gun shot]
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Jesus Christ!
Okay, come on, you fucking thing!
[engine starts]
Yes!
[intense music]
Where are we going?
[Lisa] Dan!
Oh!
[groaning]
Where is this fucking bank?
Aren't you going to go back for your girlfriend?
Or you're just going to ditch her?
Technically, we broke up.
She was a lot.
You met her.
[Lisa] Yeah.
Here's the plan, Hermione.
You're going to clean yourself up,
go into the bank, get my fifty grand,
or I kill you and leave you in the trunk of a car
like my sister!
- Ah! - [Lisa screams]
[Dan] I'm going to kill you, you fucking piece of shit!
[groaning]
Fuck!
[screaming]
[growling]
[Pete] Motherfucker!
[intense music]
[thud]
Ah!
[groan]
Oh!
[boat engine revs]
[struggling]
Hey, asshole!
Eat shit!
[flare buzzing]
Wow.
You two deserve each other.
[grunt]
[ominous music]
New plan. Now you can watch me do
what you were too big of a pussy to do,
which is kill your fucking wife.
Get
the fuck away
from my wife!
Come on!
Oh!
[grunt]
[struggling]
[grunt]
[intense music]
[laughing]
I really did like your movie.
It's a shame there's not gonna be a sequel.
[screaming]
[groaning]
[screaming]
Ah!
[growling]
[screaming]
[gasping]
[coughing]
[gasping]
[sputtering]
Fuck you guys!
[intense music]
Oh!
Dan!
Dan! Dan!
[gasping]
[ominous music]
It's okay.
[soft piano music]
[Dan] It's okay.
[screaming]
[intense music]
[grunting]
[gasping]
[birds chirping]
[soft music]
The police will be here soon.
I found your fingers.
Thanks.
Hey.
I'm sorry I tried to kill you.
I'm sorry I tried to kill you too.
So what now? We're just right back to where we started?
Still broke?
Still gonna lose everything?
We've still got all our shit to deal with.
So let's deal with it.
Okay.
But specifically, how?
You know, like, do you have an idea?
Yeah.
I got an idea.
[♪ Chromatics: "Kill For Love"]
♪
[Reporter] Can you tell us what happened in there?
I don't even really know. It's just such a blur.
Well, we were just here for a vacation.
Next thing we knew, we were attacked by,
by this group of very, very angry people.
[Reporter] Were there any other survivors?
Just my beautiful husband.
You know, at some point you realize you don't care
about yourself, and I just wanted to make sure
that my wife was okay.
[muffled chatter]
♪
[Reporters shouting]
[Andy] You must have been terrified!
How did you survive?
I guess, in a word...
Love. [giggles]
[Background speaker] Drink, bitch!
Love.
[Andy] Aww, I love that.
And I hear Hollywood is making this story into a movie?
Is that right?
Yes. We're finally going to get to make a film together.
[giggles]
And this is going to be streaming?
It is. It's for streaming.
Which is fine.
Yeah.
Everything's on streaming these days.
It's just as good.
Better!
Well, congratulations, you guys.
Give it up for Dan and Lisa!
It really happened to them!
[thunder rumbles]
[sinister laugh]
[ominous music]
[laughing]
What the hell do you want from us?
Just a little cash, baby.
I'm going to make you beg, bitch.
And I'm gonna have some fun with you, boy.
[sinister laugh]
Hold him down.
You ready, Ron?
[intense music]
No.
Ow, my balls!
[grunt]
[grunting]
[Ron] Rack 'em up.
My balls!
Let's get the hell out of here.
[Dan] And cut!
[bell rings]
Was that okay?
Kamil, it was great.
Are you sure?
[Dan] I'm sure, yeah.
- Mm-hmm. - You were great.
Oh, no, you--
Dan, Dan, Dan. Can we just try one more?
No.
We're good.
[♪ Asa and the Electric Guest: "Back For Me"]
♪
♪ Are you coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Hope you're coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Hope you're coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ I always want you here ♪
♪
♪ and I'm trying to find a reason ♪
♪ but I only want to hear ♪
♪ Coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Hope you're coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ Hope you're coming back for me ♪
♪
♪ For now, I know I'm on my own ♪
♪
♪ until the day you call me home ♪
♪
♪ For now, I know I'm on my own ♪
♪
♪ until the day you call me home ♪
♪
[♪ Sam F featuring Karen Gillian: "(Fuck) Like This"]
♪ When I party, I fuck like this (like this) ♪
♪
♪ When I party, I party like this (like this) ♪
♪ When I party, I fuck like this (like this) ♪
♪ When I party, I party like this (like this) ♪
♪ When I party, I party, I party ♪
♪ I party, I party, I party like this ♪
♪
♪ When I party, I fuck like this ♪
♪
♪ When I party, I fuck like this ♪
♪
♪ When I party, I fuck like this ♪
♪
♪ Like this ♪
♪ Fuck like ♪
♪
♪ Fuck like this ♪
♪ Fuck like ♪
♪
♪ Fuck like this ♪
♪ Fuck like, fuck like, fuck like, fuck like ♪
♪ Fuck like this ♪
♪
[♪ Yiva Haru: "Mut Luotiin Kulkemaan"]
♪