WEBVTT

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(Music)

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(Heavy Wind)

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(Door opens)

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(Door closes)

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(Hammering sound)

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Why are you running?

00:03:04.376 --> 00:03:06.208 align:center
We will miss the bus.

00:03:06.208 --> 00:03:09.040 align:center
So let it go!

00:03:09.416 --> 00:03:11.668 align:center
Don't you want to go?

00:03:11.668 --> 00:03:15.708 align:center
If we miss this one,
we will just take the next one!

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Hm.

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(British crowd chatter)

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(Traffic sound)

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- Hello!

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Isn't this beautiful?

00:03:52.668 --> 00:03:56.084 align:center
You have never taken
me for the Thames ferry ride.

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Thames...

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Please be a little fast there.

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The last bus is at 10:30.

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Where's the bus?

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(Bus arriving sound)

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Parkin!

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Have you forgotten we're expecting guests?

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My, my...

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And what shall I call you?
Lady Chatterly?

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Enough!

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Go get ready now!

00:04:51.292 --> 00:04:53.540 align:center
You haven't even cooked, have you?

00:04:53.876 --> 00:04:54.876 align:center
What will we feed them?

00:04:54.916 --> 00:04:57.416 align:center
No, I have not cooked, my Lady,

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but I've cleaned the house.
And disposed off the trash!

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Anything else, my Lady needs?

00:05:07.624 --> 00:05:10.832 align:center
How does your Lady look?

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As always, my Lady; irresistible!

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And...

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Is my servant going to present himself
in working class attire to the guests?

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Oh! Your guests are commoners!
Why even does my Lady care?

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- I do!
- Why?

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Because I'm the Lady!

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And... What if I rob my Lady
of her finery by the time they arrive?

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My servant must be
mindful of the time.

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The guests will be arriving any moment!

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Guests can wait!

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So can my servant!

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No... No he cannot, my Lady!

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Why?

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Because my Lady looks irresistible!

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(Rohit & Sanya Kiss)

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(Bus drives off)

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Where are we?

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No network!

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What place is this?

00:06:30.124 --> 00:06:33.124 align:center
I told you there
will be no network here.

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What kind of friends are these?

00:06:35.500 --> 00:06:38.708 align:center
They couldn't even bother to pick us up.
How are we going to go?

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We will just walk! Look
at the weather, it's so beautiful.

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It will take only ten minutes.

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She had told me the route.

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Look at the pretty map
drawing she made for us.

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It's this way!

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There is a shortcut through the jungle.
I had asked her.

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It's so quiet here...

00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.084 align:center
It's not quiet,
this is dead silence!

00:07:13.252 --> 00:07:16.752 align:center
Only two kinds of people
need this kind of quiet...

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Artists and...

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So you already know that she is an actress.

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If she's an actress, doesn't she need
to go for her shoots?

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How does she travel?

00:07:36.416 --> 00:07:39.000 align:center
Don't go there with such a
rotten face Basu.

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We are going to someone's
house for the first time - together.

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A little smile won't
cost you any money.

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(Heavy wind)

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(Bell ringing sound)

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(Bell continues ringing)

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(Knocking sound)

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Rohit!

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What?

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They are here!

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They can wait!

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We are on time.

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We aren't early.

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No! Stop!

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And fix your hair!

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Look, I can hear footsteps.

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Hi!

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Hello... Is Sanya there?

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I'm Rohit!

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Hi...

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Doctor Basukinath!

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Welcome, welcome Doctor Nag!

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Not Nag, Nath. Basukinath.

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I'm so sorry, Dr. Nath!

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You may call me Basuki, mate!

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Basuki!

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Hmm... Basuki...

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-Ira.
-Hi.

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- Shall we come in?
- Of course!

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Please, please.

00:09:12.084 --> 00:09:15.040 align:center
Sanya is right here.

00:09:15.540 --> 00:09:18.584 align:center
Shut the door please.

00:09:20.040 --> 00:09:21.252 align:center
Come in, come in.
Please.

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Sanya is right here.

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Ira and Basukinath!

00:09:24.876 --> 00:09:26.376 align:center
- Hi.
- Hello.

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How are you?

00:09:28.124 --> 00:09:31.084 align:center
- Wow.
- Thank you.

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Hi.

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Such a sweet house.

00:09:34.168 --> 00:09:35.332 align:center
Good evening.

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You guys are quite rich, man!

00:09:37.500 --> 00:09:39.708 align:center
- Very nice.
- Oh, I'll get that.

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Thank you.

00:09:43.376 --> 00:09:44.292 align:center
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Sir.

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Please.

00:09:47.832 --> 00:09:50.624 align:center
Okay, first of all,
what will you drink?

00:09:50.708 --> 00:09:51.668 align:center
Do you want to try something new?

00:09:51.752 --> 00:09:54.000 align:center
Of course, do you even have to ask?

00:09:54.040 --> 00:09:56.540 align:center
And what shall I offer you, doctor?

00:09:56.584 --> 00:09:59.376 align:center
I'm good. Thank you!

00:09:59.832 --> 00:10:02.376 align:center
Come on. Don't be formal!

00:10:03.208 --> 00:10:06.252 align:center
We don't drink!

00:10:07.668 --> 00:10:09.416 align:center
Actually,
I will also have orange juice.

00:10:09.500 --> 00:10:11.752 align:center
Man, what is this?

00:10:11.876 --> 00:10:15.208 align:center
Come on Basuki,
don't be a spoilsport!

00:10:15.252 --> 00:10:17.376 align:center
How can there be
a party without drinks?

00:10:17.460 --> 00:10:20.460 align:center
Actually, we don't drink.

00:10:21.168 --> 00:10:24.332 align:center
Really? I didn't know that.

00:10:26.624 --> 00:10:28.832 align:center
If you are going to have juice,
why have orange juice?

00:10:28.916 --> 00:10:30.960 align:center
I will get you something interesting!

00:10:31.040 --> 00:10:32.000 align:center
Interesting like?

00:10:32.040 --> 00:10:37.332 align:center
Like, I don't know, kiwi,
or gooseberry or maybe red currant!

00:10:37.752 --> 00:10:39.168 align:center
Wow!

00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:41.500 align:center
Rohit is such a wonderful host!

00:10:41.584 --> 00:10:42.752 align:center
Red currant for me!

00:10:42.832 --> 00:10:43.500 align:center
Okay.

00:10:43.540 --> 00:10:45.168 align:center
Umm...

00:10:45.500 --> 00:10:48.540 align:center
Red currant for you also, sir?

00:10:49.584 --> 00:10:52.460 align:center
No, plain orange juice please.

00:10:53.208 --> 00:10:55.124 align:center
You don't want to try?

00:10:55.792 --> 00:10:57.792 align:center
No. Thank you.

00:10:58.584 --> 00:11:00.708 align:center
You sure?

00:11:00.792 --> 00:11:05.500 align:center
Just plain and simple orange
juice would be wonderful.

00:11:05.624 --> 00:11:08.500 align:center
It will be ideal.

00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:12.332 align:center
Okay, I'll take that.

00:11:12.376 --> 00:11:14.292 align:center
Thank you.

00:11:14.332 --> 00:11:15.792 align:center
I'll light the fire.

00:11:24.832 --> 00:11:26.832 align:center
Sanya.

00:11:27.624 --> 00:11:29.708 align:center
Sanya!

00:11:32.832 --> 00:11:35.208 align:center
What happened?

00:11:35.252 --> 00:11:36.416 align:center
What?

00:11:36.624 --> 00:11:39.332 align:center
There is no red currant here.

00:11:39.584 --> 00:11:40.624 align:center
What do we do now?

00:11:40.752 --> 00:11:41.876 align:center
Thank god, there is orange juice.

00:11:41.916 --> 00:11:44.124 align:center
Otherwise,
this man would have killed you.

00:11:44.332 --> 00:11:48.916 align:center
No thanks, just plain and simple
orange juice please.

00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:50.376 align:center
Why is he so serious?

00:11:50.460 --> 00:11:51.624 align:center
He is a doctor, you see.

00:11:51.708 --> 00:11:52.960 align:center
Seems like a headmaster.

00:11:58.708 --> 00:12:03.000 align:center
Should we serve plain orange juice
to that poor girl Ira as well?

00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:06.000 align:center
(Pours Gin)

00:12:06.668 --> 00:12:09.668 align:center
That should be good.

00:12:17.832 --> 00:12:19.792 align:center
Your orange juice, sir!

00:12:19.876 --> 00:12:23.876 align:center
Sorry, Ira. red currant
turned out to be a little sour.

00:12:26.832 --> 00:12:30.752 align:center
Don't worry Basuki,
orange juice is absolutely fine.

00:12:31.040 --> 00:12:33.040 align:center
(Basuki sniffs)

00:12:35.500 --> 00:12:37.500 align:center
- Mm
- Hm.

00:12:37.584 --> 00:12:39.332 align:center
No, I want Red Currant.

00:12:39.376 --> 00:12:40.792 align:center
Taste it, at least.

00:12:40.876 --> 00:12:44.124 align:center
Why should I? You offered
me red currant, now get it for me.

00:12:44.292 --> 00:12:46.668 align:center
Ira... Behave.

00:12:47.460 --> 00:12:49.668 align:center
Give it a try love!

00:12:52.624 --> 00:12:54.960 align:center
(Everyone takes a sip)

00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:56.376 align:center
Hmm...

00:12:56.500 --> 00:12:57.752 align:center
How is it?

00:12:58.252 --> 00:13:00.252 align:center
Orange juice...

00:13:01.624 --> 00:13:04.624 align:center
Best orange juice ever!

00:13:08.876 --> 00:13:12.584 align:center
(Grandfather clock chimes)

00:13:29.332 --> 00:13:32.332 align:center
Isn't this trunk too big?

00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:35.916 align:center
You store warm clothes in it?

00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:39.124 align:center
No, no. No warm clothes,

00:13:39.168 --> 00:13:41.168 align:center
just a dead body!

00:13:41.460 --> 00:13:43.876 align:center
He is kidding!

00:13:45.624 --> 00:13:48.000 align:center
- Whose body?
- Lord Curzon's.

00:13:48.292 --> 00:13:50.876 align:center
Lord Curzon!

00:13:51.416 --> 00:13:53.960 align:center
(Uncontrollable laughter)

00:13:54.040 --> 00:13:56.208 align:center
Poor Lord Curzon!

00:13:56.252 --> 00:13:59.040 align:center
He is inside that!

00:14:01.500 --> 00:14:02.500 align:center
Who is Lord Curzon?

00:14:02.584 --> 00:14:04.500 align:center
Ask him. He is inside that.

00:14:04.668 --> 00:14:06.208 align:center
Enough Rohit!

00:14:06.252 --> 00:14:08.832 align:center
- He is kidding.
- Sorry.

00:14:09.208 --> 00:14:10.876 align:center
Of course.

00:14:13.752 --> 00:14:15.916 align:center
If he has kept someone
inside this even for fun,

00:14:15.960 --> 00:14:18.168 align:center
then he will
die of asphyxiation!

00:14:18.500 --> 00:14:21.460 align:center
Ass...fuck...what?

00:14:22.332 --> 00:14:23.916 align:center
Asphyxiation!

00:14:24.292 --> 00:14:25.876 align:center
Lack of oxygen!

00:14:26.040 --> 00:14:30.168 align:center
No human being can survive without
that for more than three minutes!

00:14:30.584 --> 00:14:35.584 align:center
Wow, doc,
you really know your shit, huh?

00:14:36.084 --> 00:14:37.752 align:center
This is going to be fun!

00:14:37.832 --> 00:14:39.460 align:center
Stop it Rohit!

00:14:39.540 --> 00:14:41.668 align:center
His sense of humour is really crooked.

00:14:41.752 --> 00:14:43.708 align:center
Just a bit.

00:14:43.876 --> 00:14:46.668 align:center
Ira, let's get you some more orange juice...

00:14:46.792 --> 00:14:49.752 align:center
And I'll show you the house..

00:14:51.668 --> 00:14:54.668 align:center
Can you open that trunk?

00:14:59.460 --> 00:15:00.460 align:center
What?

00:15:01.460 --> 00:15:02.752 align:center
Can't I crack a joke?

00:15:07.376 --> 00:15:09.040 align:center
Even his sense of humour is wicked!

00:15:09.084 --> 00:15:13.084 align:center
Oh my... Good-
Good joke doc!

00:15:13.168 --> 00:15:16.168 align:center
"Can I open the trunk?"

00:15:17.832 --> 00:15:19.876 align:center
Oh man...

00:15:21.332 --> 00:15:22.332 align:center
Wow.

00:15:22.708 --> 00:15:25.708 align:center
You've made a maze under the house?

00:15:26.208 --> 00:15:28.208 align:center
Wine cellar.

00:15:28.668 --> 00:15:31.792 align:center
Okay, you guys are seriously rich!

00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.376 align:center
You know what, when I met Rohit,
I didn't feel like I was

00:15:35.416 --> 00:15:37.252 align:center
meeting him for the first time.

00:15:37.292 --> 00:15:38.960 align:center
He is funny.

00:15:39.208 --> 00:15:42.376 align:center
Even I don't feel like
I've known him for so long..

00:15:42.540 --> 00:15:45.084 align:center
He's pretty (mischievous) right?

00:15:45.124 --> 00:15:46.252 align:center
(Khura)...what?

00:15:46.376 --> 00:15:47.540 align:center
"Khurafati"

00:15:48.084 --> 00:15:49.416 align:center
"Khurafati"?

00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:51.332 align:center
It means naughty.

00:15:51.376 --> 00:15:52.332 align:center
Oh.

00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:55.252 align:center
Or he could be wicked!

00:15:57.960 --> 00:15:59.332 align:center
Yeah?

00:15:59.500 --> 00:16:02.332 align:center
I mean seriously, who jokes this way!

00:16:03.124 --> 00:16:05.960 align:center
Lord Curzon!

00:16:06.624 --> 00:16:09.500 align:center
Inside the trunk.

00:16:10.624 --> 00:16:12.332 align:center
Does Basuki know?

00:16:12.416 --> 00:16:14.416 align:center
(Piano key)

00:16:18.460 --> 00:16:23.500 align:center
So... Sir, what kind of doctor are you?

00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.584 align:center
What do you know
about medical science?

00:16:28.624 --> 00:16:31.624 align:center
Not much, I have been to the
hospital a couple of times.

00:16:31.668 --> 00:16:36.668 align:center
Once for suspected dengue,
another time for typhoid...

00:16:37.332 --> 00:16:39.752 align:center
And I don't remember clearly but...

00:16:39.832 --> 00:16:44.084 align:center
My grandmother told me that
I was even born in a hospital!

00:16:44.584 --> 00:16:48.584 align:center
Under a doctor's supervision! Imagine!

00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:55.624 align:center
So medical science means... hospitals?
Very nice!

00:16:55.916 --> 00:16:59.040 align:center
No, no. Doctors. And nurses as well.

00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:10.460 align:center
Medical science isn't about doctors,
hospitals, or nurses, Mr. Rohit.

00:17:11.040 --> 00:17:12.332 align:center
Oh?

00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:17.832 align:center
It's about human life!

00:17:18.168 --> 00:17:19.876 align:center
Ah...

00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:23.332 align:center
The sanctity of human life!

00:17:26.376 --> 00:17:31.292 align:center
Had you known this,
you wouldn't joke about death!

00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:37.832 align:center
You think it was a joke?

00:17:52.876 --> 00:17:55.832 align:center
Come on doctor!

00:17:57.168 --> 00:18:00.168 align:center
Got you again, right? Right?

00:18:01.252 --> 00:18:02.540 align:center
Sorry, sorry.

00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:04.960 align:center
Excuse me.

00:18:09.376 --> 00:18:12.376 align:center
(Piano key)

00:18:24.584 --> 00:18:27.668 align:center
Are these yours?

00:18:29.124 --> 00:18:30.752 align:center
Wow.

00:18:31.416 --> 00:18:35.000 align:center
When do you wear these?
I have never seen you in these.

00:18:35.376 --> 00:18:37.916 align:center
On special occasions.

00:18:39.876 --> 00:18:41.916 align:center
Seriously?

00:18:42.792 --> 00:18:44.960 align:center
Do you want to try?

00:18:50.540 --> 00:18:53.292 align:center
No, no. I will look like a cartoon.

00:18:53.832 --> 00:18:56.540 align:center
Not a cartoon - Queen!

00:18:57.416 --> 00:19:00.000 align:center
That oldie!

00:19:01.832 --> 00:19:04.500 align:center
Your doctor will go crazy!

00:19:04.584 --> 00:19:07.084 align:center
Try it once.

00:19:07.460 --> 00:19:10.460 align:center
Really?

00:19:27.752 --> 00:19:30.460 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:19:36.916 --> 00:19:39.668 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:19:40.752 --> 00:19:43.460 align:center
(Music)

00:19:46.292 --> 00:19:49.000 align:center
(Knocking continues)

00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:11.960 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:20:38.252 --> 00:20:40.416 align:center
Basuki!

00:20:45.792 --> 00:20:47.752 align:center
Basuki!

00:20:58.332 --> 00:21:00.876 align:center
How do I look?

00:21:06.792 --> 00:21:09.124 align:center
How do I look?

00:21:15.208 --> 00:21:18.208 align:center
Do you not like it?

00:21:18.376 --> 00:21:19.376 align:center
Should I change?

00:21:19.416 --> 00:21:22.416 align:center
Someone is inside.

00:21:23.208 --> 00:21:25.252 align:center
Inside here?

00:21:25.292 --> 00:21:27.416 align:center
I just heard a knock.

00:21:27.876 --> 00:21:29.416 align:center
Rohit was joking.

00:21:29.752 --> 00:21:32.460 align:center
I heard it with my own ears.

00:21:43.540 --> 00:21:45.252 align:center
I don't hear anything.

00:21:45.584 --> 00:21:46.960 align:center
Listen, now.

00:21:50.376 --> 00:21:51.668 align:center
Now.

00:22:03.124 --> 00:22:05.416 align:center
I can't hear anything.

00:22:05.460 --> 00:22:09.252 align:center
How can you possibly listen
if you are constantly blabbering?

00:22:12.292 --> 00:22:15.292 align:center
Focus.

00:22:17.416 --> 00:22:20.040 align:center
Your ears have become too sharp
but your eyes weaker.

00:22:20.124 --> 00:22:25.124 align:center
Can't you remain shut up
even for a second, Ira?

00:22:39.292 --> 00:22:41.792 align:center
Keep waiting. Keep listening. Maybe
there is a rat jumping inside the trunk.

00:22:41.876 --> 00:22:45.876 align:center
but the human standing in front of you
is invisible to you.

00:23:01.292 --> 00:23:04.708 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:23:13.792 --> 00:23:16.960 align:center
She is pretty, isn't she?

00:23:19.668 --> 00:23:21.876 align:center
Rohit, are you blushing?

00:23:22.124 --> 00:23:23.960 align:center
What? No!

00:23:24.460 --> 00:23:26.668 align:center
You like her, don't you?

00:23:26.876 --> 00:23:30.292 align:center
Forget all of that,
what are we going to feed them for dinner?

00:23:30.332 --> 00:23:31.376 align:center
We need to think.

00:23:53.584 --> 00:23:56.916 align:center
You don't care about me one bit,
do you?

00:23:59.376 --> 00:24:02.500 align:center
It's the first time we have
stepped out of home together.

00:24:03.708 --> 00:24:06.708 align:center
If you are not liking it,
let's go back.

00:24:07.252 --> 00:24:08.460 align:center
Hm?

00:24:10.876 --> 00:24:13.752 align:center
There's still time before the
next bus arrives.

00:24:18.208 --> 00:24:19.624 align:center
We might as well go and
wait at the bus stop.

00:24:19.668 --> 00:24:22.752 align:center
It's better than sitting
here with a rotten face.

00:24:22.832 --> 00:24:24.668 align:center
Let's go.

00:24:32.376 --> 00:24:35.168 align:center
Whose dress is this?

00:24:41.624 --> 00:24:44.624 align:center
Did you just notice it?

00:24:46.752 --> 00:24:51.792 align:center
Ok, tell me now.
Am I looking nice in it?

00:24:54.168 --> 00:24:58.040 align:center
Will you go home wearing that?

00:24:58.708 --> 00:25:01.960 align:center
Just go and return it.

00:25:07.916 --> 00:25:10.960 align:center
Only concerned about going back.

00:25:14.832 --> 00:25:18.252 align:center
(Sanya moaning)

00:25:33.208 --> 00:25:35.208 align:center
What do you think?

00:25:35.708 --> 00:25:38.124 align:center
What's going on downstairs?

00:25:38.292 --> 00:25:41.292 align:center
Saint Basukinath won't make a move.

00:25:41.500 --> 00:25:44.500 align:center
- Really?
- Let's bet.

00:25:45.708 --> 00:25:46.876 align:center
Not even a kiss?

00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:49.708 align:center
You can see it for yourself.

00:26:08.124 --> 00:26:10.668 align:center
What did I tell you?

00:26:10.876 --> 00:26:13.832 align:center
You're such an arsewipe!

00:26:16.124 --> 00:26:17.668 align:center
Poor girl!

00:26:28.668 --> 00:26:31.668 align:center
What's happened here?

00:26:32.832 --> 00:26:35.832 align:center
What's going on?

00:26:36.832 --> 00:26:40.416 align:center
Even Queen Victoria
wasn't effective, huh?

00:26:40.540 --> 00:26:43.460 align:center
Rohit, get her an orange juice please.

00:26:45.752 --> 00:26:49.208 align:center
Let's order some pizza first!
Then we'll talk about it!

00:26:49.624 --> 00:26:51.584 align:center
What's there in the trunk?

00:26:52.124 --> 00:26:56.208 align:center
Okay Basuki,
that was a joke and it's over now.

00:26:56.832 --> 00:27:01.916 align:center
Let's talk about food.
We can order either pizza or Chinese!

00:27:02.292 --> 00:27:05.584 align:center
Trunk.
Can you open the trunk?

00:27:05.832 --> 00:27:08.624 align:center
Haha! Good joke Basuki!

00:27:09.668 --> 00:27:10.668 align:center
I'm serious.

00:27:10.708 --> 00:27:12.124 align:center
So am I!

00:27:12.668 --> 00:27:15.084 align:center
Pizza or Chinese?

00:27:15.624 --> 00:27:16.916 align:center
He hates Chinese.

00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:20.000 align:center
So, pizza then?

00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:23.500 align:center
Okay, so, what does he like?

00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:30.084 align:center
We never go out!

00:27:30.624 --> 00:27:32.752 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:27:33.584 --> 00:27:35.668 align:center
Did you hear that?

00:27:36.792 --> 00:27:39.168 align:center
Okay, I'm ordering
pizza for everyone!

00:27:39.708 --> 00:27:44.500 align:center
A vegetariana for Basuki with
no onion, no garlic and no ginger!

00:27:44.540 --> 00:27:45.584 align:center
No ginger!

00:27:45.624 --> 00:27:46.916 align:center
And no yellow bell pepper.

00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:48.668 align:center
Okay, okay.

00:27:48.708 --> 00:27:50.084 align:center
What about you?

00:27:50.168 --> 00:27:53.168 align:center
I want a chicken-tikka-masala!

00:27:53.332 --> 00:27:54.584 align:center
A meat-feast!

00:27:54.792 --> 00:27:56.832 align:center
Okay, so one chicken-tikka masala,

00:27:57.292 --> 00:28:02.916 align:center
one vegetarian, no garlic,
no onions, no ginger.

00:28:03.292 --> 00:28:05.000 align:center
What about you?

00:28:05.168 --> 00:28:08.252 align:center
I'll share Rohit's meat...feast.

00:28:11.168 --> 00:28:13.252 align:center
Rohit! You're good at ordering.

00:28:13.292 --> 00:28:14.832 align:center
Yeah.

00:28:16.792 --> 00:28:19.792 align:center
Come on, you help me!

00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:21.124 align:center
Come.

00:28:33.292 --> 00:28:35.292 align:center
Basuki...

00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:39.000 align:center
Sorry.

00:28:41.376 --> 00:28:44.416 align:center
Rohit shouldn't have started it.

00:28:44.752 --> 00:28:45.876 align:center
(Piano key)

00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:48.876 align:center
It was a bad joke to begin with.

00:29:01.084 --> 00:29:04.168 align:center
Thank you for meeting us.

00:29:05.376 --> 00:29:08.416 align:center
We really wanted to meet you!

00:29:13.876 --> 00:29:16.876 align:center
Rohit was planning to cook for you, but...

00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:20.460 align:center
things happened.

00:29:27.292 --> 00:29:30.292 align:center
Ira always talks about you.

00:29:32.208 --> 00:29:35.084 align:center
She really cares about you.

00:29:35.124 --> 00:29:38.084 align:center
You're a lucky guy.

00:29:43.168 --> 00:29:46.168 align:center
She talks about you too.

00:29:47.752 --> 00:29:50.040 align:center
- Hm.
- Mhm.

00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:56.252 align:center
So, you are a big shot, an actress?

00:29:57.540 --> 00:29:59.000 align:center
Have you seen my films?

00:29:59.040 --> 00:30:02.332 align:center
No. I don't get time for any of that.

00:30:03.332 --> 00:30:06.124 align:center
But I have seen the poster.

00:30:06.624 --> 00:30:10.040 align:center
And of course Ira has told me about it.

00:30:13.668 --> 00:30:15.792 align:center
You indeed are a good actor!

00:30:17.752 --> 00:30:19.752 align:center
Thank you.

00:30:21.792 --> 00:30:24.792 align:center
What's in the trunk?

00:30:25.624 --> 00:30:28.624 align:center
Come on now! Don't kill our joke.

00:30:29.708 --> 00:30:31.876 align:center
Where's the key?

00:30:32.292 --> 00:30:35.252 align:center
(Dialing sound)

00:30:40.084 --> 00:30:41.832 align:center
Good evening! Her Majesty's Pizza!

00:30:41.876 --> 00:30:45.376 align:center
Yeah, hi, okay,
we would like to order two number 23s,

00:30:45.416 --> 00:30:49.960 align:center
one number seven and one
number 31 with customization.

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.000 align:center
So, one number 23 with customization.

00:30:52.040 --> 00:30:54.040 align:center
No, number 31 with customization.

00:30:54.084 --> 00:30:56.376 align:center
And the customization is as follows -

00:30:56.416 --> 00:31:00.124 align:center
No bell pepper,
no onion and garlic, and no...

00:31:00.168 --> 00:31:02.584 align:center
- Ginger.
- Ginger. No ginger!

00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:06.000 align:center
I just want to check it out once.

00:31:07.168 --> 00:31:11.792 align:center
Come on.
I thought you had a sense of humour!

00:31:12.416 --> 00:31:16.876 align:center
Well, I don't know if it even
has ginger in it so, how can I remove it?

00:31:16.916 --> 00:31:17.832 align:center
He can't remove ginger.

00:31:17.876 --> 00:31:21.752 align:center
No I'm saying, I don't even know if
it even has ginger in it.

00:31:21.832 --> 00:31:22.916 align:center
So how can I remove it?

00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:26.000 align:center
He can't remove the ginger.

00:31:26.540 --> 00:31:29.540 align:center
You eat ginger at home, don't you?

00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:35.500 align:center
She takes such good care of you.

00:31:35.792 --> 00:31:39.040 align:center
Alright, no, no, no, I'm going to
repeat everything one last time, okay?

00:31:39.124 --> 00:31:41.500 align:center
Two number 23s,
one number 7 and one number

00:31:41.540 --> 00:31:43.916 align:center
31 with customization.

00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:45.500 align:center
No ginger.

00:31:45.540 --> 00:31:46.376 align:center
Ginger is okay!

00:31:46.416 --> 00:31:47.876 align:center
Oh god, okay, sorry!

00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.500 align:center
Number 31 with
customization-let the ginger be!

00:31:50.540 --> 00:31:54.916 align:center
So, 23 is with
customization and number 7 you want...

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:57.416 align:center
No, no, no, you've got it all wrong!
What's wrong with you?

00:31:57.460 --> 00:31:59.168 align:center
Let me repeat everything.

00:31:59.332 --> 00:32:01.540 align:center
One chicken tikka no onion,
no garlic!

00:32:01.584 --> 00:32:05.084 align:center
No no no! Vegetariana with no onion,
no garlic and no ginger!

00:32:05.168 --> 00:32:06.376 align:center
But he said he can't remove ginger.

00:32:06.416 --> 00:32:09.040 align:center
No, I didn't say I can't remove ginger.

00:32:09.252 --> 00:32:13.040 align:center
I said I don't know if it even
has ginger in the first place!

00:32:13.416 --> 00:32:16.252 align:center
Okay, listen to me very carefully mate.

00:32:16.332 --> 00:32:18.376 align:center
I'm going to repeat myself again.

00:32:18.416 --> 00:32:19.416 align:center
Alright!

00:32:19.460 --> 00:32:23.584 align:center
One chicken tikka with everything,
one meat-feast with everything,

00:32:23.624 --> 00:32:25.916 align:center
No, sorry,
two meat feasts with everything.

00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.376 align:center
and one vegetariana with no onion,
no garlic, but with ginger.

00:32:30.416 --> 00:32:32.460 align:center
Now you repeat it.

00:32:33.084 --> 00:32:35.708 align:center
Alright - one meat feast,
no onion, no garlic.

00:32:35.752 --> 00:32:37.000 align:center
One chicken tikka masala.

00:32:37.084 --> 00:32:39.252 align:center
And one vegetariana with extra ginger,
extra garlic...

00:32:39.332 --> 00:32:42.376 align:center
What the fuck is wrong with you!
You've got all the numbers wrong!

00:32:42.792 --> 00:32:44.500 align:center
Isn't Vegetariana number 31?

00:32:44.584 --> 00:32:48.332 align:center
No, it says 31 in the menu here!

00:32:48.584 --> 00:32:50.292 align:center
I think you have got the old menu.

00:32:50.792 --> 00:32:53.832 align:center
That is not my problem! You deal with it!
Get my order right!

00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:55.668 align:center
Thank you very much!
Long live the Queen!

00:32:55.792 --> 00:32:58.124 align:center
(Ira Chuckles)
"Long live the queen!"

00:33:01.208 --> 00:33:03.208 align:center
Fuckin' dicks...

00:33:04.460 --> 00:33:07.376 align:center
It's okay, take a deep breath!

00:33:13.752 --> 00:33:16.792 align:center
You did a good job!

00:33:27.916 --> 00:33:30.916 align:center
Careful!

00:33:32.208 --> 00:33:35.252 align:center
It seems a little bland right?

00:33:38.460 --> 00:33:41.668 align:center
We should have some song and dance.

00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:45.124 align:center
- Sure.
- Party!

00:33:51.040 --> 00:33:53.624 align:center
What kind of a CD is this?

00:33:53.752 --> 00:33:55.624 align:center
So big...

00:33:56.668 --> 00:33:58.876 align:center
Here in this place
everything is bigger in size.

00:33:59.124 --> 00:34:01.084 align:center
Only the size of the country is small!

00:34:04.124 --> 00:34:06.124 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:10.376 align:center
(Music begins)

00:34:14.584 --> 00:34:17.584 align:center
Who listens to such ghostly music?

00:34:26.708 --> 00:34:27.584 align:center
Shall we dance?

00:34:27.624 --> 00:34:29.084 align:center
Yes!

00:34:40.040 --> 00:34:44.040 align:center
Lord Curzon must also
be dancing like this.

00:34:50.124 --> 00:34:53.124 align:center
(Excited laughter)

00:34:55.668 --> 00:34:57.040 align:center
Enough!

00:34:59.500 --> 00:35:02.500 align:center
God! You're drunk!

00:35:03.416 --> 00:35:05.752 align:center
What have you been drinking?

00:35:07.084 --> 00:35:09.040 align:center
What have you been drinking?

00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:13.792 align:center
Orange juice!

00:35:13.876 --> 00:35:14.752 align:center
Orange juice!

00:35:16.540 --> 00:35:18.500 align:center
Orange juice!

00:35:18.916 --> 00:35:21.376 align:center
What's going on here?
Why are you corrupting my wife?

00:35:21.416 --> 00:35:23.168 align:center
Corrupting?

00:35:24.252 --> 00:35:25.916 align:center
Corrupted as in, tarnished!

00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:29.792 align:center
I have been tarnished
- courtesy the orange juice!

00:35:35.168 --> 00:35:37.916 align:center
Who's Lord Curzon, Ira?

00:35:38.376 --> 00:35:40.416 align:center
How do you know him?
Where did you meet?

00:35:40.460 --> 00:35:42.332 align:center
Basuki, not again please!

00:35:42.376 --> 00:35:44.000 align:center
Shhhhh!

00:35:44.624 --> 00:35:48.500 align:center
I'm talking to my wife,
please don't interfere!

00:35:49.460 --> 00:35:51.000 align:center
Where did you meet him?

00:35:51.084 --> 00:35:51.876 align:center
It was a joke..

00:35:51.916 --> 00:35:53.752 align:center
Fucking shut up!

00:35:55.208 --> 00:35:57.208 align:center
You and your wife have
spiked my wife's drink

00:35:57.292 --> 00:35:59.292 align:center
and now you're telling
me it's a fucking joke!

00:35:59.376 --> 00:36:00.332 align:center
She is not my wife!

00:36:00.376 --> 00:36:02.252 align:center
Whatever!
You tell me...

00:36:02.500 --> 00:36:04.916 align:center
Who is Lord Curzon?
Tell me!

00:36:05.332 --> 00:36:07.376 align:center
Where did you meet and
how do you know him?

00:36:07.540 --> 00:36:08.208 align:center
At the pub...

00:36:08.292 --> 00:36:09.416 align:center
Pub?!

00:36:11.252 --> 00:36:12.000 align:center
Huh?

00:36:12.208 --> 00:36:14.624 align:center
I go there sometimes,
during the day to eat..

00:36:14.708 --> 00:36:16.376 align:center
At the pub?

00:36:17.668 --> 00:36:19.208 align:center
Sorry Basu...

00:36:20.376 --> 00:36:23.376 align:center
I should have told you.

00:36:24.208 --> 00:36:26.416 align:center
It was a mistake,
I will not do it again.

00:36:26.460 --> 00:36:27.876 align:center
I promise, I won't.

00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.832 align:center
How many times have you met him?

00:36:30.040 --> 00:36:32.208 align:center
- Met who?
- Lord Curzon! Who else?

00:36:34.376 --> 00:36:36.168 align:center
I have never met him, never met him.

00:36:36.252 --> 00:36:38.084 align:center
How many times Ira?

00:36:39.376 --> 00:36:42.376 align:center
Just once or twice...

00:36:42.792 --> 00:36:44.124 align:center
Once or twice?

00:36:44.208 --> 00:36:46.668 align:center
Basu, you're misunderstanding,
I've only seen him...

00:36:46.708 --> 00:36:47.916 align:center
Only seen him?

00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:50.040 align:center
And what do you do when
you're 'just looking'?

00:36:50.124 --> 00:36:52.876 align:center
What do you do when
you meet him Ira?

00:36:53.416 --> 00:36:56.332 align:center
Basu... you're getting it all wrong.

00:36:57.208 --> 00:36:58.208 align:center
There's nothing of the sort...

00:36:58.292 --> 00:36:59.752 align:center
When we go back home,
I'll explain -

00:36:59.792 --> 00:37:03.416 align:center
Tell me what do you
do when you meet him, Ira?

00:37:07.084 --> 00:37:09.252 align:center
What do you do when
you meet him, Ira...

00:37:09.332 --> 00:37:13.460 align:center
What will I do with that old geezer?
With one of his legs in the coffin.

00:37:14.376 --> 00:37:18.460 align:center
What do you do when you meet him?
Answer that!

00:37:21.540 --> 00:37:23.376 align:center
I dated him, okay!

00:37:24.332 --> 00:37:25.876 align:center
I knew it!

00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:27.752 align:center
I knew it!

00:37:28.668 --> 00:37:30.084 align:center
(Music)

00:37:30.708 --> 00:37:33.000 align:center
(Ira sighs)

00:37:33.292 --> 00:37:34.624 align:center
I knew it!

00:37:36.792 --> 00:37:40.668 align:center
Actually, it wasn't dating.
I was just having fun.

00:37:42.500 --> 00:37:44.668 align:center
He used to just look old.

00:38:14.332 --> 00:38:17.208 align:center
Good afternoon, Mr. Curzon!

00:38:17.708 --> 00:38:20.040 align:center
Would you like to try
something new for lunch today?

00:38:20.208 --> 00:38:23.292 align:center
We've Ploughman's lunch,
bangers and mash...

00:38:23.916 --> 00:38:25.040 align:center
No!

00:38:26.208 --> 00:38:28.460 align:center
Just fish and chips, please.

00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.000 align:center
He's so sad, the damn old man!

00:38:49.500 --> 00:38:52.792 align:center
Do you think he's ever eaten anything
apart from fish and chips?

00:38:53.084 --> 00:38:56.960 align:center
Sanya, let him eat his
fish and chips and die, who cares?

00:39:01.168 --> 00:39:04.084 align:center
Actually it wasn't dating, it was a fling.

00:39:04.500 --> 00:39:06.208 align:center
Do you want to know the details?

00:39:06.416 --> 00:39:10.752 align:center
When we did it? Where we did it?
How we did it?

00:39:11.208 --> 00:39:13.540 align:center
Lord Curzon...

00:39:13.832 --> 00:39:15.208 align:center
Ahh...

00:39:17.292 --> 00:39:20.084 align:center
He had such luscious lips.

00:39:20.500 --> 00:39:24.708 align:center
Mmm... The way he would swirl it around.

00:39:25.500 --> 00:39:28.168 align:center
I am wet already!

00:39:29.084 --> 00:39:33.500 align:center
What a man! A real man!

00:39:42.292 --> 00:39:44.292 align:center
(Music)

00:39:47.624 --> 00:39:50.624 align:center
Where is that bastard?

00:39:51.332 --> 00:39:53.416 align:center
- I'll kill him!
- (Rohit chuckles)

00:39:54.084 --> 00:39:55.792 align:center
What are friends for?

00:39:57.540 --> 00:39:59.960 align:center
He is already dead, doctor!

00:40:01.124 --> 00:40:04.124 align:center
You want a drink to celebrate?

00:40:09.624 --> 00:40:11.876 align:center
I've had enough of this.

00:40:15.584 --> 00:40:17.624 align:center
Wait, wait, wait.

00:40:21.832 --> 00:40:22.792 align:center
Is he in the trunk?

00:40:22.832 --> 00:40:24.292 align:center
Dead?

00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:30.040 align:center
Open the trunk.

00:40:31.584 --> 00:40:32.960 align:center
Are you sure?

00:40:33.376 --> 00:40:36.040 align:center
No, I don't trust any of you!

00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:38.540 align:center
Open the trunk!
I need to see him dead!

00:40:38.708 --> 00:40:39.876 align:center
Have you completely lost it?

00:40:39.916 --> 00:40:41.000 align:center
Shut up!

00:40:41.624 --> 00:40:45.584 align:center
- Stay out of it, okay!
- (Music)

00:40:47.168 --> 00:40:49.124 align:center
Get the key. Open the trunk!

00:40:49.292 --> 00:40:52.708 align:center
Ah, the key...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure...

00:40:52.752 --> 00:40:55.168 align:center
Oh-
I don't have the key.

00:40:55.252 --> 00:40:57.500 align:center
Break it open then, I don't care!

00:40:57.960 --> 00:41:03.000 align:center
Okay... why don't you ask Sanya?
I'll open it if she asks me to.

00:41:05.292 --> 00:41:06.960 align:center
I said, open it!

00:41:07.584 --> 00:41:10.668 align:center
I told you, ask for Sanya's permission.
It belongs to her.

00:41:10.708 --> 00:41:13.416 align:center
Ha ha ha...

00:41:13.624 --> 00:41:15.624 align:center
Funny man!

00:41:16.584 --> 00:41:18.752 align:center
No more jokes, please.

00:41:19.124 --> 00:41:22.124 align:center
Who the hell is joking, doctor?

00:41:35.500 --> 00:41:36.460 align:center
(Glass shattering sound)

00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:39.292 align:center
(Sanya peeing)

00:41:55.792 --> 00:41:58.792 align:center
(Basuki grunts)

00:42:05.540 --> 00:42:07.376 align:center
Oh my God!

00:42:24.624 --> 00:42:25.832 align:center
(Basuki knocking)

00:42:26.708 --> 00:42:27.792 align:center
Give me the key!

00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:29.500 align:center
Are you out of your mind?!

00:42:29.876 --> 00:42:31.584 align:center
I just want to check it once.

00:42:31.624 --> 00:42:34.124 align:center
It's a joke, why don't you get that?

00:42:34.168 --> 00:42:37.708 align:center
I said. Give. Me. The. Key!

00:42:37.752 --> 00:42:39.752 align:center
Ask Rohit.

00:42:40.792 --> 00:42:42.668 align:center
Don't try to act smart!

00:42:43.040 --> 00:42:46.084 align:center
I'm telling you, Rohit has them.

00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:48.124 align:center
Okay...

00:42:48.668 --> 00:42:50.668 align:center
If this is how you want to play it...

00:42:50.708 --> 00:42:51.832 align:center
I'm coming in!

00:42:51.876 --> 00:42:53.084 align:center
Stop it!

00:42:53.208 --> 00:42:55.332 align:center
I'm coming in!

00:43:11.084 --> 00:43:13.000 align:center
(Basuki charging)

00:43:13.084 --> 00:43:16.084 align:center
(Thud sound)

00:43:17.292 --> 00:43:20.292 align:center
(Music)

00:43:23.540 --> 00:43:24.752 align:center
Bitch!

00:43:27.416 --> 00:43:30.416 align:center
(Piano key)

00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:46.124 align:center
Now tell me,
who the fuck is Lord Curzon?

00:43:47.500 --> 00:43:49.832 align:center
What kind of an Englishman are you?

00:43:49.876 --> 00:43:52.252 align:center
Don't even know your own history?

00:43:52.332 --> 00:43:54.752 align:center
No more jokes please.

00:43:54.792 --> 00:43:57.792 align:center
Who is Lord Curzon? Where is he?

00:43:58.208 --> 00:44:01.208 align:center
Who gave you the British
citizenship? Hmmm?

00:44:01.876 --> 00:44:04.876 align:center
Did they not test your history?

00:44:05.708 --> 00:44:09.584 align:center
Thousands of Indians
died of hunger under his rule.

00:44:09.668 --> 00:44:12.792 align:center
Because of hunger and famine!

00:44:14.168 --> 00:44:16.584 align:center
Do you want to die?

00:44:16.624 --> 00:44:22.168 align:center
Don't fucking waste my time.
Tell me where is Lord Curzon, who is he?

00:44:24.208 --> 00:44:27.208 align:center
You fake Englishman...

00:44:28.040 --> 00:44:32.708 align:center
You couldn't be like them
even if you wanted to.

00:44:32.752 --> 00:44:35.752 align:center
Kill me if you have it in you.

00:44:38.168 --> 00:44:41.168 align:center
Fuckin...

00:44:43.708 --> 00:44:45.416 align:center
(Knocking sound)

00:44:45.460 --> 00:44:46.376 align:center
(Music)

00:44:46.376 --> 00:44:48.584 align:center
Hey, did you hear that...

00:44:48.624 --> 00:44:52.584 align:center
Did you hear that? He's there,
he is still alive, He's in this...

00:44:52.624 --> 00:44:55.668 align:center
- I'll kill him.
- (Bell ringing sound)

00:44:55.668 --> 00:44:57.208 align:center
It's the door!

00:44:57.292 --> 00:44:59.500 align:center
Shhh... Don't-don't-don't
try to divert me, okay?

00:44:59.540 --> 00:45:02.084 align:center
Just get the keys-
just open this!

00:45:02.168 --> 00:45:03.416 align:center
(Knocking continues)

00:45:03.460 --> 00:45:07.252 align:center
Forgotten your own theory
of Asphyxiation, doctor?

00:45:07.332 --> 00:45:09.584 align:center
How can he be alive in a trunk?

00:45:09.624 --> 00:45:11.332 align:center
Huh?

00:45:11.832 --> 00:45:14.832 align:center
(Bell ringing sound)

00:45:17.416 --> 00:45:20.416 align:center
Open the door Basuki,
it's the pizza!

00:45:22.832 --> 00:45:25.832 align:center
(Piano key)

00:45:38.584 --> 00:45:41.584 align:center
Her Majesty's Pizza!

00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:45.000 align:center
That would be 24 pounds and 62p, ma'am!

00:45:45.584 --> 00:45:47.376 align:center
Hang on! I'll get the money!

00:45:47.416 --> 00:45:49.416 align:center
Sure.

00:45:57.124 --> 00:45:59.208 align:center
- It's the pizza man.
- Pizza!

00:45:59.292 --> 00:46:02.292 align:center
We need to pay him. 25 pounds!

00:46:03.208 --> 00:46:04.252 align:center
Did you not hear it? 25 pounds.

00:46:04.292 --> 00:46:06.000 align:center
What? Am I the host?

00:46:06.208 --> 00:46:07.832 align:center
Just open me up, I will pay him.

00:46:07.916 --> 00:46:08.876 align:center
No!

00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:10.168 align:center
It's in his pocket.

00:46:10.252 --> 00:46:12.832 align:center
Again! Don't act smart.

00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:20.624 align:center
Hello?

00:46:26.792 --> 00:46:28.500 align:center
Coming! Have patience!

00:46:28.708 --> 00:46:32.084 align:center
Can you make it quick, please?
I've got other deliveries to make.

00:46:32.168 --> 00:46:33.540 align:center
Showing off his fake accent.

00:46:33.584 --> 00:46:34.540 align:center
Should I return the pizza?

00:46:34.584 --> 00:46:36.040 align:center
No, no, I am very hungry.

00:46:36.124 --> 00:46:38.376 align:center
So somebody pay up, I don't have it,
else I would have paid for it.

00:46:38.416 --> 00:46:40.832 align:center
Can you ever keep quiet, Ira?

00:47:01.040 --> 00:47:01.960 align:center
Oh!

00:47:02.040 --> 00:47:04.376 align:center
What the fuck!

00:47:06.416 --> 00:47:09.792 align:center
Don't be alarmed! It's just a game!

00:47:14.040 --> 00:47:15.000 align:center
You alright mate?

00:47:15.084 --> 00:47:17.460 align:center
Yeah, yeah man! It's just a game.

00:47:17.668 --> 00:47:20.668 align:center
Very much like our
prime time entertainment!

00:47:20.708 --> 00:47:23.416 align:center
Oh, how cool!

00:47:23.460 --> 00:47:24.752 align:center
You wanna try it?

00:47:24.792 --> 00:47:25.752 align:center
Nah...

00:47:26.040 --> 00:47:26.876 align:center
Not tonight!

00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:27.832 align:center
Come on, try it!

00:47:27.876 --> 00:47:29.708 align:center
Nah, I've got pizzas to deliver.

00:47:29.832 --> 00:47:31.040 align:center
It's fun!

00:47:31.124 --> 00:47:34.124 align:center
Yeah, looks like a lot of fun.

00:47:34.332 --> 00:47:38.792 align:center
Okay, go ahead and take the wallet
from his pocket and get going.

00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:39.876 align:center
From his pocket?

00:47:39.960 --> 00:47:40.960 align:center
Yeah!

00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:48.252 align:center
I am sorry, that just seems wrong.
I'm not going to do that.

00:47:48.624 --> 00:47:51.624 align:center
You fucking will!

00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:54.624 align:center
- Go ahead
- It's okay.

00:47:54.708 --> 00:47:57.416 align:center
- (Pizza man coughs)
- It's alright.

00:47:57.460 --> 00:48:00.460 align:center
(Music)

00:48:06.124 --> 00:48:08.124 align:center
(Pizza man clears throat)

00:48:14.708 --> 00:48:17.752 align:center
- Easy...
- (Ira chuckles)

00:48:18.084 --> 00:48:20.000 align:center
There's nothing in here.

00:48:20.084 --> 00:48:26.708 align:center
Did you check the pizzas? Made
sure there's no garlic, onion, ginger?

00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:31.040 align:center
Yeah, the meat feast
doesn't have onion or garlic.

00:48:31.124 --> 00:48:32.124 align:center
What?

00:48:32.208 --> 00:48:33.000 align:center
There's nothing in here.

00:48:33.084 --> 00:48:35.500 align:center
The other pocket.
The meat-feast is without onion?

00:48:35.540 --> 00:48:37.084 align:center
And the Vegetariana?

00:48:37.168 --> 00:48:39.752 align:center
Well, I suppose that has onions.

00:48:41.124 --> 00:48:43.376 align:center
Well, there's no wallet.

00:48:43.416 --> 00:48:44.960 align:center
Vegetaraiana with onions...

00:48:45.040 --> 00:48:46.752 align:center
but it feels like a key.

00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:48.792 align:center
(Basuki Mumbles)
Onions - Hey!

00:48:48.832 --> 00:48:50.292 align:center
Leave him.

00:48:51.252 --> 00:48:54.832 align:center
We don't want your pizzas, take them back.

00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:56.876 align:center
I'm sorry sir.

00:48:56.960 --> 00:48:58.208 align:center
We don't accept returns.

00:48:58.292 --> 00:49:00.084 align:center
Take them back, I said!

00:49:00.168 --> 00:49:04.168 align:center
Listen, you keep it or you throw it,
you still got to pay.

00:49:04.332 --> 00:49:05.376 align:center
I want to speak to your manager!

00:49:05.624 --> 00:49:06.332 align:center
No!

00:49:06.376 --> 00:49:08.124 align:center
- Excuse me?
- I am the manager.

00:49:08.208 --> 00:49:10.168 align:center
Mr. Manager, take them away!

00:49:10.252 --> 00:49:12.168 align:center
- Baba, I'm hungry.
- But you still got to pay sir.

00:49:13.208 --> 00:49:14.460 align:center
Bullshit!

00:49:14.668 --> 00:49:19.208 align:center
Listen, mate. We don't want your
fucking pizzas! Get the hell out of here!

00:49:19.376 --> 00:49:21.460 align:center
Or I'll tie you up as well.

00:49:21.752 --> 00:49:22.916 align:center
Let's play!

00:49:25.876 --> 00:49:27.376 align:center
Alright then...

00:49:28.084 --> 00:49:30.084 align:center
(Pizza man clears his throat)

00:49:31.000 --> 00:49:32.752 align:center
Wait, wait, wait!

00:49:33.084 --> 00:49:36.000 align:center
What did you say you found in my pocket?

00:49:37.084 --> 00:49:38.292 align:center
There's no money in it!

00:49:38.376 --> 00:49:41.000 align:center
Yeah, but what did you find?

00:49:41.292 --> 00:49:42.584 align:center
A fucking key, bruv!

00:49:42.792 --> 00:49:43.960 align:center
Thank you very much.

00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:47.292 align:center
What are you waiting for?
Fucking leave now!

00:49:48.168 --> 00:49:49.916 align:center
- Bye.
- Yeah, enough!

00:49:50.208 --> 00:49:52.460 align:center
Fuck's sake, fucking weirdos.

00:49:52.624 --> 00:49:55.624 align:center
Fucking brownies.

00:49:56.960 --> 00:49:59.332 align:center
Shut the door!

00:50:02.460 --> 00:50:03.832 align:center
Onions...

00:50:08.124 --> 00:50:13.124 align:center
Do you not want to look inside
the trunk now, doctor?

00:50:15.540 --> 00:50:16.916 align:center
Hello?

00:50:18.040 --> 00:50:19.960 align:center
You heard him, right?

00:50:20.416 --> 00:50:22.084 align:center
I have the key.

00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:24.376 align:center
The key...

00:50:26.460 --> 00:50:29.460 align:center
(Music)

00:51:17.876 --> 00:51:20.460 align:center
Happy now?

00:51:20.752 --> 00:51:23.752 align:center
I told you it was a joke.

00:51:24.752 --> 00:51:27.752 align:center
I am untying them.

00:51:45.752 --> 00:51:48.708 align:center
Thank you.

00:51:49.916 --> 00:51:51.876 align:center
I -

00:51:52.040 --> 00:51:54.124 align:center
And the knock I heard...

00:51:54.332 --> 00:51:59.460 align:center
I told you that your ears were ringing,
now you get it?

00:52:03.332 --> 00:52:07.124 align:center
I feel terrible
for what I did to you.

00:52:09.168 --> 00:52:13.960 align:center
If you want to apologise to someone,
apologise to your wife!

00:52:14.540 --> 00:52:16.416 align:center
You really hurt her.

00:52:16.624 --> 00:52:18.960 align:center
He won't understand.

00:52:19.332 --> 00:52:22.084 align:center
It was all a joke.

00:52:22.168 --> 00:52:24.500 align:center
I hope you understand now.

00:52:24.540 --> 00:52:29.540 align:center
Even what Ira said about
Lord Curzon, all of it.

00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:43.916 align:center
Does Lord Curzon even exist?

00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:45.876 align:center
(Rohit scoffs)

00:52:46.084 --> 00:52:50.916 align:center
I told you guys, he doesn't understand
what a joke is.

00:52:51.624 --> 00:52:54.540 align:center
Basuki, you're really lucky.

00:52:57.460 --> 00:53:00.460 align:center
Thank your stars; If I you were married to
someone like me instead of Ira...

00:53:00.500 --> 00:53:03.832 align:center
you'd be in the trunk right now.

00:53:04.624 --> 00:53:06.668 align:center
All is under control doctor.

00:53:06.708 --> 00:53:08.292 align:center
Will you have a drink now?

00:53:08.376 --> 00:53:10.624 align:center
I will drink.
No matter who says what!

00:53:10.668 --> 00:53:11.460 align:center
Good!

00:53:11.500 --> 00:53:12.752 align:center
I like to drink.

00:53:12.792 --> 00:53:13.876 align:center
I used to drink
before I got married,

00:53:13.916 --> 00:53:15.292 align:center
and after without telling you.

00:53:15.376 --> 00:53:18.376 align:center
Now I am drinking in your face.
Cheers!

00:53:20.540 --> 00:53:23.460 align:center
Have a drink doctor.
You will feel better.

00:53:24.416 --> 00:53:28.040 align:center
Just a plain and
simple orange juice, please.

00:53:28.208 --> 00:53:29.876 align:center
Listen don't act,
you drink and I know it.

00:53:29.916 --> 00:53:32.124 align:center
There are days when
I can smell it off you.

00:53:32.168 --> 00:53:36.584 align:center
Oh, wow. You are the
joker in the pack, doctor!

00:53:36.960 --> 00:53:40.792 align:center
Have a drink, else Lord
Curzon will really turn up.

00:53:40.832 --> 00:53:43.376 align:center
Not again Rohit.
No more Curzon jokes.

00:53:43.460 --> 00:53:44.832 align:center
Okay, okay.

00:53:45.500 --> 00:53:47.124 align:center
(Basuki clears throat)

00:53:53.124 --> 00:53:54.584 align:center
Okay...

00:53:55.376 --> 00:53:57.752 align:center
Get me a small one.

00:53:59.540 --> 00:54:01.124 align:center
Irish Whiskey!

00:54:01.376 --> 00:54:03.000 align:center
Now we're talking.

00:54:03.208 --> 00:54:06.208 align:center
- "We don't drink"
- (Rohit chuckles)

00:54:06.292 --> 00:54:11.752 align:center
By the way, now you're starting to
seem a half-English to me.

00:54:28.292 --> 00:54:31.292 align:center
(Piano key)

00:54:33.832 --> 00:54:36.832 align:center
(Rohit winces)

00:54:44.252 --> 00:54:48.252 align:center
- Are you okay?
- Yes, just check it once.

00:54:50.668 --> 00:54:53.668 align:center
Yes, now it's fine.

00:55:05.252 --> 00:55:09.460 align:center
(Grandfather clock chimes)

00:55:11.416 --> 00:55:15.708 align:center
Here is your classical
English breakfast.

00:55:15.752 --> 00:55:18.040 align:center
Thank you so much!

00:55:18.252 --> 00:55:21.252 align:center
And I am very sorry
about my behaviour.

00:55:33.540 --> 00:55:36.416 align:center
Ah, this is actually comfortable.

00:55:36.460 --> 00:55:39.252 align:center
Thank you.

00:55:40.252 --> 00:55:42.084 align:center
I have hypertension!

00:55:42.168 --> 00:55:45.668 align:center
And that's why I, sometimes, find it
difficult to keep my anger in check.

00:55:45.708 --> 00:55:46.916 align:center
Hmm.

00:55:47.000 --> 00:55:49.960 align:center
Wow doctor, you just diagnosed yourself!

00:55:50.584 --> 00:55:52.876 align:center
Very good.

00:55:53.540 --> 00:55:55.460 align:center
It started in my childhood.

00:55:55.584 --> 00:55:59.460 align:center
Oh, why didn't you tell us before?

00:56:04.040 --> 00:56:07.292 align:center
I was trapped inside
a container for weeks!

00:56:07.416 --> 00:56:08.752 align:center
A container?

00:56:08.832 --> 00:56:14.252 align:center
- No kidding.
- No, no, he is not kidding.

00:56:17.668 --> 00:56:20.668 align:center
I couldn't breathe!

00:56:21.624 --> 00:56:23.960 align:center
I don't know how I survived...

00:56:24.084 --> 00:56:29.540 align:center
Hmm, but how did you
get inside a container?

00:56:36.792 --> 00:56:38.708 align:center
I travelled in a container...

00:56:38.752 --> 00:56:40.292 align:center
To reach here.

00:56:46.292 --> 00:56:51.332 align:center
This country saved my parents,
gave them a new life, a new opportunity.

00:56:54.040 --> 00:56:57.376 align:center
What did independent
India have to offer them?

00:56:57.460 --> 00:57:01.252 align:center
Hunger, poverty,
maybe corruption, oppression!

00:57:01.332 --> 00:57:03.624 align:center
Oh Basuki, don't start harping
about your England

00:57:03.668 --> 00:57:05.792 align:center
and how great a country it is.

00:57:06.584 --> 00:57:11.000 align:center
I am whatever I am today -
it's because of this country.

00:57:11.040 --> 00:57:12.792 align:center
I would have had no future in India!

00:57:12.832 --> 00:57:17.084 align:center
And that's why I try my best
to be of any service to my country.

00:57:17.292 --> 00:57:19.792 align:center
My country, my foot!
He calls England his country.

00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:22.292 align:center
Yes, it's my country and
these are my people.

00:57:22.376 --> 00:57:23.752 align:center
My people?

00:57:24.040 --> 00:57:26.916 align:center
(Piano key)

00:57:26.960 --> 00:57:30.460 align:center
Do they think of you as one of them?

00:57:35.916 --> 00:57:37.916 align:center
Of course!

00:57:38.168 --> 00:57:41.208 align:center
I'm as much British as everybody else.

00:57:41.376 --> 00:57:43.124 align:center
Oh really?

00:57:48.540 --> 00:57:51.540 align:center
Have you heard his accent?

00:57:59.084 --> 00:58:00.708 align:center
How silly of me,

00:58:00.752 --> 00:58:02.916 align:center
I'm just going on and on about myself.

00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:03.876 align:center
Of course.

00:58:03.960 --> 00:58:05.832 align:center
I hardly know you guys!

00:58:05.916 --> 00:58:09.584 align:center
What's your story?
How did you come to the UK?

00:58:09.624 --> 00:58:11.708 align:center
(Telephone rings)

00:58:12.292 --> 00:58:15.292 align:center
I will take that.

00:58:17.584 --> 00:58:20.000 align:center
(Piano key)

00:58:20.752 --> 00:58:23.752 align:center
Coming, coming.

00:58:23.916 --> 00:58:24.500 align:center
Hello.

00:58:24.584 --> 00:58:26.832 align:center
Hello Henry? Who is this?

00:58:27.124 --> 00:58:28.000 align:center
Hello!

00:58:28.084 --> 00:58:32.000 align:center
I want to talk to my husband Henry.
Can you please put him on the line?

00:58:32.084 --> 00:58:33.624 align:center
Sorry, wrong number!

00:58:33.668 --> 00:58:35.916 align:center
Wrong number? What do you mean?

00:58:36.084 --> 00:58:39.376 align:center
Listen, that's my summer home
and I want to talk to my husband Henry.

00:58:39.460 --> 00:58:41.960 align:center
Get Henry on the phone now!

00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:43.416 align:center
One minute...

00:58:43.460 --> 00:58:46.460 align:center
Does anyone know a Henry?

00:58:54.960 --> 00:58:58.084 align:center
Sorry, Henry is not here at the moment!

00:58:58.416 --> 00:59:00.084 align:center
What do you mean he's not there?

00:59:00.168 --> 00:59:03.376 align:center
He went there this morning this morning to
get things fixed for tomorrow. And then-

00:59:03.460 --> 00:59:05.084 align:center
- Who are you?
- I...

00:59:05.168 --> 00:59:06.792 align:center
And what are you doing
in my summer home?

00:59:06.832 --> 00:59:08.332 align:center
Making a drink!

00:59:08.584 --> 00:59:11.208 align:center
Making a drink in my house?
What do you mean?

00:59:11.460 --> 00:59:13.624 align:center
Listen, where is Henry,
I need to talk to him -

00:59:13.792 --> 00:59:15.876 align:center
Sorry, wrong number. Long live the Queen.

00:59:15.916 --> 00:59:17.832 align:center
(Hangs up)

00:59:18.416 --> 00:59:19.832 align:center
Old hag!

00:59:20.500 --> 00:59:23.416 align:center
(Piano key)

00:59:25.916 --> 00:59:29.500 align:center
Some mad lady, lost her husband it seems.

00:59:29.540 --> 00:59:31.208 align:center
She must have not
kept him carefully.

00:59:31.252 --> 00:59:34.208 align:center
(Piano key)

00:59:38.040 --> 00:59:39.252 align:center
What was the husband's name?

00:59:39.332 --> 00:59:40.708 align:center
(Piano key)

00:59:40.792 --> 00:59:42.460 align:center
Lord Curzon!

00:59:42.624 --> 00:59:44.084 align:center
Come on Rohit!

00:59:45.084 --> 00:59:47.584 align:center
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:59:48.500 --> 00:59:51.500 align:center
You were asking, doctor?

00:59:54.460 --> 00:59:57.124 align:center
How did you come here?

00:59:57.292 --> 01:00:00.168 align:center
I had a job.

01:00:00.376 --> 01:00:01.084 align:center
Oh really?

01:00:01.252 --> 01:00:02.960 align:center
Yes, doctor.

01:00:03.832 --> 01:00:06.168 align:center
Do you know about the
National Health System (NHS)?

01:00:06.252 --> 01:00:08.252 align:center
Of course! I'm a doctor.

01:00:08.376 --> 01:00:10.332 align:center
I made it.

01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:13.584 align:center
The whole software, right from the sketch.

01:00:13.624 --> 01:00:17.752 align:center
I was in the core architecture
design team of the system.

01:00:17.792 --> 01:00:19.876 align:center
It's quite good.

01:00:19.916 --> 01:00:21.040 align:center
I use it everyday.

01:00:23.460 --> 01:00:25.292 align:center
What happened then?

01:00:26.208 --> 01:00:27.668 align:center
I left my job.

01:00:27.708 --> 01:00:29.000 align:center
Why?

01:00:30.252 --> 01:00:33.208 align:center
I thought I'd start my own company...

01:00:33.292 --> 01:00:36.084 align:center
Do something big in life.

01:00:36.292 --> 01:00:37.208 align:center
That's ambitious.

01:00:37.292 --> 01:00:38.124 align:center
Hmm, I know.

01:00:40.084 --> 01:00:41.584 align:center
Then?

01:00:42.124 --> 01:00:45.040 align:center
I applied for a visa extension.

01:00:45.540 --> 01:00:48.540 align:center
Nothing happened for two years.

01:00:49.040 --> 01:00:53.960 align:center
I kept working,
hoping I would get it one day.

01:00:55.168 --> 01:00:58.040 align:center
I got the letter one day...

01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:01.376 align:center
Visa rejected.

01:01:02.040 --> 01:01:02.708 align:center
Rejected?

01:01:02.792 --> 01:01:04.792 align:center
Yes, rejected!

01:01:05.540 --> 01:01:08.540 align:center
Section 322-5.

01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:12.500 align:center
Wait, that's for...

01:01:12.584 --> 01:01:17.500 align:center
Don't get scared doctor,
I am not a terrorist.

01:01:21.208 --> 01:01:24.668 align:center
I worked for these Englishmen
for so many years.

01:01:25.124 --> 01:01:28.332 align:center
This one time,
I could not do my tax returns on time.

01:01:28.416 --> 01:01:31.416 align:center
I was charged with 322-5.

01:01:33.376 --> 01:01:36.460 align:center
Does that make me a terrorist?

01:01:37.668 --> 01:01:39.916 align:center
It's not like India here.

01:01:39.960 --> 01:01:42.960 align:center
Everyone needs to do things on time here.

01:01:43.168 --> 01:01:46.332 align:center
If you don't reach
office on time tomorrow,

01:01:46.500 --> 01:01:48.416 align:center
would you be called a terrorist then?

01:01:48.916 --> 01:01:50.208 align:center
I'm never late!

01:01:50.460 --> 01:01:53.460 align:center
(Rohit sighs)

01:01:55.708 --> 01:01:58.500 align:center
(Music)

01:02:05.332 --> 01:02:08.332 align:center
So, how do you live here?

01:02:09.292 --> 01:02:11.460 align:center
I don't.

01:02:13.376 --> 01:02:15.584 align:center
What do you mean?

01:02:21.540 --> 01:02:25.584 align:center
Are you an illegal immigrant?

01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:32.000 align:center
- (Rohit chuckles)
- (Music)

01:02:42.960 --> 01:02:45.960 align:center
Did you know about this?

01:02:49.252 --> 01:02:52.252 align:center
Your friends are illegal immigrants.

01:02:52.960 --> 01:02:55.460 align:center
Weren't your parents also...

01:02:55.500 --> 01:02:57.916 align:center
illegal immigrants?

01:02:57.960 --> 01:02:58.792 align:center
So what?

01:02:58.832 --> 01:03:00.752 align:center
I might lose my job!
This is not a joke.

01:03:00.792 --> 01:03:02.500 align:center
Do you even know the meaning of a joke?

01:03:02.540 --> 01:03:03.668 align:center
"Not a joke."

01:03:03.876 --> 01:03:06.332 align:center
Okay, don't start fighting again.

01:03:06.416 --> 01:03:10.416 align:center
This is my house,
you are my guests...

01:03:10.668 --> 01:03:11.832 align:center
And you never met Rohit.

01:03:11.876 --> 01:03:14.208 align:center
Yes! You never met me.

01:03:19.416 --> 01:03:22.416 align:center
Doctor, one more drink?

01:03:26.708 --> 01:03:29.708 align:center
Listen, if you have any more surprises,
please tell me now.

01:03:29.752 --> 01:03:32.208 align:center
I don't want to get into
any trouble later on.

01:03:32.460 --> 01:03:35.960 align:center
I don't get you, Basuki...

01:03:36.040 --> 01:03:39.124 align:center
You love this country very much...

01:03:40.084 --> 01:03:45.168 align:center
So why did you have to
go to India to get a wife?

01:03:46.376 --> 01:03:48.460 align:center
He wasn't able to charm a
white woman.

01:03:48.500 --> 01:03:50.252 align:center
Must have tried for sure.

01:03:50.332 --> 01:03:51.708 align:center
Did you not?

01:03:52.416 --> 01:03:53.500 align:center
Aw.

01:03:56.500 --> 01:03:59.540 align:center
I choose not to discuss my private life.

01:03:59.584 --> 01:04:02.292 align:center
You never want to discuss anything.

01:04:02.376 --> 01:04:05.084 align:center
I don't know if he had a story or not.

01:04:05.168 --> 01:04:06.208 align:center
I surely had one!

01:04:06.292 --> 01:04:07.668 align:center
Really?

01:04:08.208 --> 01:04:09.584 align:center
Here in the UK?

01:04:09.624 --> 01:04:12.040 align:center
In Bhatinda (India). In my college.

01:04:12.124 --> 01:04:15.960 align:center
Full on 'Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam'.
(Trajic Bollywood Romantic film)

01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:19.252 align:center
But my romance was like DDLJ.
(A happy Bollywood Love story)

01:04:19.332 --> 01:04:20.376 align:center
Wow.

01:04:20.584 --> 01:04:21.752 align:center
Only my father didn't say - Go Simran,

01:04:21.792 --> 01:04:24.752 align:center
live the life of your dreams!
(Iconic Bollywood dialogue)

01:04:24.792 --> 01:04:28.168 align:center
And the guy didn't come to the Railway
station to run away with me either.

01:04:30.708 --> 01:04:31.624 align:center
Liar.

01:04:37.960 --> 01:04:42.960 align:center
He had asked me about my
past before we got married.

01:04:43.292 --> 01:04:46.252 align:center
What was I supposed to say?

01:04:46.752 --> 01:04:49.832 align:center
Had I told you the truth, would
you or your family agree to the marriage?

01:04:49.876 --> 01:04:53.332 align:center
Remember that ad you
gave in the newspaper?

01:04:53.416 --> 01:04:57.252 align:center
A famous doctor, who lives in London, is
looking for a Punjabi (North Indian) wife.

01:04:57.332 --> 01:04:59.416 align:center
A Punjabi wife. Wow!

01:04:59.460 --> 01:05:01.960 align:center
Don't applaud just yet,
listen to the entire ad first...

01:05:02.040 --> 01:05:03.292 align:center
You still remember?

01:05:03.376 --> 01:05:05.332 align:center
Every bit of it, line by line.

01:05:05.416 --> 01:05:08.124 align:center
That ad completely changed my life.

01:05:08.416 --> 01:05:12.332 align:center
Fair, Convent-educated, English speaking,

01:05:12.416 --> 01:05:15.292 align:center
Punjabi girl with beautiful hair.

01:05:15.376 --> 01:05:18.876 align:center
Who doesn't smoke, drink,
or consume any kind of drug.

01:05:18.960 --> 01:05:22.584 align:center
And someone who has had
no relationship with any man.

01:05:22.624 --> 01:05:24.332 align:center
Meaning virgin?

01:05:24.416 --> 01:05:25.460 align:center
Pure!

01:05:25.752 --> 01:05:27.000 align:center
(Sanya scoffs)

01:05:27.540 --> 01:05:29.168 align:center
Poor Basuki!

01:05:29.332 --> 01:05:30.960 align:center
There was a mad rush in Bhatinda
when he came bride hunting!

01:05:31.040 --> 01:05:33.332 align:center
He had booked the whole hotel.

01:05:33.416 --> 01:05:36.208 align:center
As if, Indian idol's
auditions were going on.

01:05:36.292 --> 01:05:40.084 align:center
Of course, it isn't some ordinary title,
Mrs. Basuki Nath.

01:05:40.168 --> 01:05:41.000 align:center
Not at all!

01:05:41.084 --> 01:05:46.168 align:center
Ask my parents, they think it's
the biggest achievement of my life.

01:05:51.500 --> 01:05:54.500 align:center
Mrs. Basuki Nath!

01:05:56.752 --> 01:05:58.792 align:center
Do you love him?

01:06:04.252 --> 01:06:06.332 align:center
Does it even matter?

01:06:08.460 --> 01:06:10.292 align:center
Do you?

01:06:14.752 --> 01:06:19.752 align:center
I love him as much as
he loves the great Britain!

01:06:27.376 --> 01:06:30.376 align:center
That calls for another peg, Doctor!

01:06:33.084 --> 01:06:34.460 align:center
Yes, please.

01:06:34.540 --> 01:06:36.208 align:center
- Make me large one.
- (Music)

01:06:36.416 --> 01:06:37.792 align:center
Sure.

01:06:42.624 --> 01:06:45.540 align:center
So, how do you know my virgin wife?

01:06:46.668 --> 01:06:48.208 align:center
Well...

01:06:49.460 --> 01:06:52.084 align:center
We've had a few drinks together.

01:06:52.252 --> 01:06:54.876 align:center
- Cheers.
- Thanks mate!

01:07:07.252 --> 01:07:12.252 align:center
Here comes the cocktail
of the day "Relationship goals"!

01:07:13.876 --> 01:07:15.584 align:center
Wow.

01:07:20.084 --> 01:07:21.292 align:center
Nice.

01:07:21.708 --> 01:07:23.832 align:center
What will you eat?

01:07:24.584 --> 01:07:27.708 align:center
Not fish and chips for sure!

01:07:28.960 --> 01:07:31.040 align:center
Something new.

01:07:31.624 --> 01:07:35.876 align:center
There's nothing left on the menu.
You have tried everything.

01:07:37.460 --> 01:07:40.252 align:center
Would you like something special?

01:07:44.540 --> 01:07:46.752 align:center
Come with me.

01:07:57.752 --> 01:08:00.752 align:center
Doesn't he take you out?

01:08:01.332 --> 01:08:02.668 align:center
He is mostly busy.

01:08:02.708 --> 01:08:06.376 align:center
If he misses work even for a day,
lots of lives can be lost.

01:08:06.540 --> 01:08:07.960 align:center
And what about your life?

01:08:08.252 --> 01:08:11.084 align:center
He has saved my life already,
by marrying me.

01:08:11.416 --> 01:08:13.792 align:center
Now he is saving others.

01:08:14.416 --> 01:08:16.584 align:center
I really want to meet him.

01:08:17.084 --> 01:08:19.916 align:center
- I've told Rohit about him.
- Hmm.

01:08:20.084 --> 01:08:22.960 align:center
Rohit will have fun meeting him.

01:08:24.040 --> 01:08:25.416 align:center
He will never come.

01:08:25.460 --> 01:08:28.168 align:center
I really want to meet Rohit.

01:08:28.708 --> 01:08:31.540 align:center
Come on, we all will have fun!

01:08:32.124 --> 01:08:34.332 align:center
Told you, he is busy.

01:08:34.624 --> 01:08:39.460 align:center
If he misses work for a day, a bunch
of Brits will find their way to heaven.

01:08:40.376 --> 01:08:42.752 align:center
Why not saturday?

01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:46.832 align:center
God might agree to this, but he won't.

01:08:47.208 --> 01:08:49.916 align:center
Should I cut some more coriander?

01:08:51.416 --> 01:08:53.960 align:center
Tell him your friend's a famous actress.

01:08:54.208 --> 01:08:55.668 align:center
Tell him about my films.

01:08:57.376 --> 01:09:02.292 align:center
Tell him I've invited
you to my summer house.

01:09:11.624 --> 01:09:13.752 align:center
- You lied.
- (Music)

01:09:14.332 --> 01:09:17.252 align:center
One more lie.

01:09:18.916 --> 01:09:21.916 align:center
You said, your friend is an actress?

01:09:22.084 --> 01:09:24.540 align:center
Yes, I am an actor!

01:09:25.460 --> 01:09:27.540 align:center
An actress-waitress or waitress-actress?

01:09:27.584 --> 01:09:29.960 align:center
Basu, come on!
She works as a waitress part time.

01:09:30.040 --> 01:09:31.168 align:center
Really?

01:09:31.252 --> 01:09:33.916 align:center
Will Kate Winslet ever
work as a 'part time' waitress?

01:09:34.332 --> 01:09:36.960 align:center
I'm no Kate Winslet!

01:09:37.708 --> 01:09:39.416 align:center
Why don't you just accept that you
aren't an actress in the first place?

01:09:39.460 --> 01:09:41.252 align:center
No, I am an actor.

01:09:41.332 --> 01:09:42.124 align:center
Oh!

01:09:42.416 --> 01:09:43.916 align:center
I'm a failed actor.

01:09:44.208 --> 01:09:45.040 align:center
How humble!

01:09:45.124 --> 01:09:46.416 align:center
No, it's true.

01:09:47.040 --> 01:09:49.292 align:center
I'm a failed actor.

01:09:49.876 --> 01:09:51.752 align:center
I should have cross-checked better.

01:09:52.124 --> 01:09:53.168 align:center
Stop Basuki.

01:09:53.292 --> 01:09:56.416 align:center
No, let him speak.

01:09:57.500 --> 01:10:01.960 align:center
The problem is; you bloody Indians think,
you can come here and do anything!

01:10:02.752 --> 01:10:03.584 align:center
You know?

01:10:03.624 --> 01:10:05.832 align:center
It will be a cake walk.

01:10:06.332 --> 01:10:08.792 align:center
But you need talent to succeed here.

01:10:08.832 --> 01:10:12.500 align:center
- I agree.
- You can't ever compete with the British.

01:10:12.540 --> 01:10:14.124 align:center
Their standards are very very high.

01:10:14.208 --> 01:10:16.208 align:center
Very, very high.

01:10:16.668 --> 01:10:20.168 align:center
How silly - you thought you could
compete with the English actresses.

01:10:20.460 --> 01:10:25.500 align:center
How did you compete
with the English Doctors?

01:10:26.792 --> 01:10:28.624 align:center
I worked hard.

01:10:28.668 --> 01:10:29.876 align:center
I've educated myself.

01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:32.916 align:center
I got the best medical education
in the whole world.

01:10:33.168 --> 01:10:35.084 align:center
So did I!

01:10:35.708 --> 01:10:38.960 align:center
I went to the best drama school,
in the world.

01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:42.708 align:center
I was the crème da la crème at RADA.

01:10:43.500 --> 01:10:44.668 align:center
RADA?

01:10:44.708 --> 01:10:48.500 align:center
Royal academy of dramatic art!

01:10:53.584 --> 01:10:55.708 align:center
Hm. Probably you don't have it in you.

01:10:55.916 --> 01:10:57.960 align:center
Maybe I don't.

01:10:58.332 --> 01:11:00.292 align:center
- You see!
- I know

01:11:00.916 --> 01:11:03.624 align:center
Yeah... You don't have their talent!

01:11:04.708 --> 01:11:06.084 align:center
Or their fair skin?

01:11:06.168 --> 01:11:07.792 align:center
Huh. Bollocks!

01:11:07.832 --> 01:11:10.416 align:center
How many brown characters do
you see in English films?

01:11:10.460 --> 01:11:12.168 align:center
I told you, I don't watch films.

01:11:12.252 --> 01:11:13.168 align:center
Enough Basu!

01:11:13.252 --> 01:11:16.916 align:center
No, Ira, you tell me - have I ever been
discriminated against

01:11:16.960 --> 01:11:18.960 align:center
because of my skin colour?

01:11:20.540 --> 01:11:23.584 align:center
England is a fair country!

01:11:23.960 --> 01:11:25.624 align:center
How true!

01:11:26.252 --> 01:11:29.876 align:center
England is a very-very "fair" country!

01:11:30.376 --> 01:11:31.708 align:center
Correct.

01:11:32.416 --> 01:11:33.624 align:center
Hmm...

01:11:34.252 --> 01:11:37.916 align:center
If you love this fair country so much,

01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:42.540 align:center
why did you go to India to find a wife?

01:11:43.332 --> 01:11:46.584 align:center
Convent-educated, English speaking

01:11:46.624 --> 01:11:47.708 align:center
FAIR!

01:11:48.168 --> 01:11:51.376 align:center
Who hasn't had any previous
relationships with any man!

01:11:51.460 --> 01:11:53.252 align:center
(Ira laughs)

01:11:55.584 --> 01:11:57.208 align:center
(Knocking sound)

01:11:57.460 --> 01:11:59.500 align:center
- (Bell ringing sound)
- Ah, Lord Curzon!

01:11:59.540 --> 01:12:00.624 align:center
(Music)

01:12:00.752 --> 01:12:02.332 align:center
Stop joking.

01:12:02.668 --> 01:12:05.832 align:center
Go and check who's there.

01:12:08.752 --> 01:12:09.916 align:center
Her Majesty's Pizza!

01:12:09.960 --> 01:12:11.084 align:center
Hey...

01:12:11.540 --> 01:12:13.792 align:center
I didn't think you're going to come back.

01:12:14.040 --> 01:12:15.460 align:center
I had to!

01:12:15.832 --> 01:12:17.916 align:center
Okay... how much is it?

01:12:17.960 --> 01:12:20.040 align:center
Well, actually, it's complementary.

01:12:20.124 --> 01:12:22.252 align:center
I checked, and we messed
up your order.

01:12:22.416 --> 01:12:24.708 align:center
Oh, how sweet. Come on in!

01:12:25.040 --> 01:12:26.832 align:center
Come in, come in. Get in here.

01:12:26.876 --> 01:12:28.540 align:center
Come, come, come.

01:12:28.832 --> 01:12:31.460 align:center
Shut the door behind you please.

01:12:34.084 --> 01:12:38.208 align:center
Ladies and gentlemen,
guess what - Free pizza is here!

01:12:38.416 --> 01:12:39.708 align:center
Free?

01:12:40.832 --> 01:12:42.960 align:center
I'll take that.

01:12:44.000 --> 01:12:46.292 align:center
Free.

01:12:46.752 --> 01:12:51.208 align:center
- Free pizza is a different kind of satisfaction!
- (Rohit clears throat)

01:13:02.168 --> 01:13:05.000 align:center
Rohit, why is he still here?

01:13:07.376 --> 01:13:08.876 align:center
You want a drink mate?

01:13:08.916 --> 01:13:10.916 align:center
No, no, I just need Henry's signature.

01:13:10.960 --> 01:13:13.668 align:center
Oh, okay, sure!

01:13:15.292 --> 01:13:16.876 align:center
Thank you.

01:13:18.832 --> 01:13:20.500 align:center
(Pizza man clears throat)

01:13:21.332 --> 01:13:24.752 align:center
I apologize on behalf of
Her Majesty's Pizza.

01:13:24.792 --> 01:13:26.416 align:center
We messed up your order.

01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:29.460 align:center
Mr. Henry is our gold card member.

01:13:29.624 --> 01:13:31.876 align:center
I just need him to sign this slip.

01:13:32.292 --> 01:13:34.000 align:center
Henry?

01:13:34.916 --> 01:13:35.916 align:center
Henry!

01:13:36.460 --> 01:13:41.084 align:center
Could you please sign his slip
so he can leave?

01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:45.624 align:center
He isn't Henry!

01:13:45.668 --> 01:13:46.668 align:center
He is!

01:13:47.252 --> 01:13:49.040 align:center
No, he isn't!

01:13:49.668 --> 01:13:51.460 align:center
How do you know?

01:13:51.500 --> 01:13:53.708 align:center
Have you met him before?

01:13:53.832 --> 01:13:57.332 align:center
Well no, I haven't, but I have a
fair idea what he looks like.

01:13:57.460 --> 01:14:00.416 align:center
And, why doesn't he look like Henry?

01:14:02.252 --> 01:14:04.084 align:center
Because... Henry doesn't look like him!

01:14:04.168 --> 01:14:05.916 align:center
That's poetic!

01:14:06.252 --> 01:14:08.000 align:center
Listen, I just need the signature.

01:14:08.168 --> 01:14:11.084 align:center
Or else, I'll need the pizzas back.

01:14:12.376 --> 01:14:14.168 align:center
Well, take them back!

01:14:14.876 --> 01:14:16.460 align:center
Now I can't, can I?

01:14:16.500 --> 01:14:17.876 align:center
Then, get Henry's signature.

01:14:17.916 --> 01:14:18.960 align:center
But he isn't Henry!

01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:19.960 align:center
Why?

01:14:20.124 --> 01:14:24.000 align:center
Because by any stretch of the imagination,
he doesn't look like him!

01:14:24.084 --> 01:14:25.168 align:center
Why?

01:14:25.332 --> 01:14:27.084 align:center
Because Henry is a bloody Brit!

01:14:27.168 --> 01:14:28.208 align:center
And this man isn't?

01:14:28.292 --> 01:14:29.540 align:center
No!

01:14:30.376 --> 01:14:30.960 align:center
Why?

01:14:31.040 --> 01:14:33.208 align:center
Because he's Asian.

01:14:38.040 --> 01:14:39.832 align:center
You see Basuki!

01:14:40.416 --> 01:14:42.792 align:center
This man doesn't think you're British.

01:14:43.460 --> 01:14:45.960 align:center
He thinks you're Asian.

01:14:49.416 --> 01:14:51.208 align:center
(Music)

01:14:52.292 --> 01:14:54.292 align:center
Give me the bloody slip!

01:14:54.540 --> 01:14:56.832 align:center
I am British!

01:14:57.252 --> 01:14:58.500 align:center
You racist pig!

01:14:58.540 --> 01:15:01.252 align:center
This gentleman is a true Brit!

01:15:10.208 --> 01:15:12.292 align:center
(Music)

01:15:18.292 --> 01:15:21.876 align:center
So Henry is Curzon!

01:15:29.916 --> 01:15:32.916 align:center
Henry is Lord Curzon?

01:15:34.168 --> 01:15:37.040 align:center
See... He isn't Henry!

01:15:37.416 --> 01:15:39.416 align:center
I knew that!

01:15:42.292 --> 01:15:44.168 align:center
Where is he?

01:15:45.252 --> 01:15:48.252 align:center
What did you do to him?

01:15:49.832 --> 01:15:51.168 align:center
Wait, hold on!

01:15:51.332 --> 01:15:53.332 align:center
You don't even know who Henry is?

01:15:53.668 --> 01:15:55.960 align:center
Who are you people?

01:16:03.876 --> 01:16:06.208 align:center
Didn't his wife just call, Ira?

01:16:07.292 --> 01:16:09.500 align:center
The old hag with the memory loss?

01:16:10.292 --> 01:16:11.752 align:center
Listen!

01:16:12.208 --> 01:16:15.376 align:center
I need you all to tell me who you are...

01:16:15.460 --> 01:16:17.168 align:center
And how you got in here.

01:16:17.540 --> 01:16:20.084 align:center
Otherwise,
I'm going to go call the police!

01:16:20.376 --> 01:16:22.332 align:center
(Music)

01:16:25.168 --> 01:16:26.876 align:center
I'm going to go right now!

01:16:26.916 --> 01:16:29.460 align:center
To call the police, yeah?

01:16:42.168 --> 01:16:43.876 align:center
Listen,

01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:47.668 align:center
I don't care who you are

01:16:48.084 --> 01:16:50.416 align:center
or what you do...

01:16:50.832 --> 01:16:53.332 align:center
I don't even need the signature!

01:16:53.792 --> 01:16:56.876 align:center
I'll explain everything to the boss.

01:16:57.124 --> 01:16:59.084 align:center
Didn't you say you were the boss?

01:16:59.208 --> 01:17:01.252 align:center
Rohit! What the hell is going on?

01:17:01.332 --> 01:17:02.500 align:center
I want to know the truth!

01:17:02.540 --> 01:17:06.332 align:center
We're just playing a game, Basuki.

01:17:06.624 --> 01:17:10.708 align:center
- Fun, fun, fun, fun. Fun.
- No, I'm not interested in any games.

01:17:11.084 --> 01:17:12.332 align:center
Do you want to play a game?

01:17:12.416 --> 01:17:16.752 align:center
Listen - Please, please just let me go!

01:17:17.124 --> 01:17:19.960 align:center
I've got pizzas to deliver,
and no one likes them cold!

01:17:20.040 --> 01:17:21.124 align:center
But you're a part of the game now!

01:17:21.208 --> 01:17:23.832 align:center
- What game?
- Is Lord Curzon dead or alive?

01:17:23.916 --> 01:17:26.376 align:center
That sounds like a great game!

01:17:26.416 --> 01:17:29.540 align:center
Come on Basuki!
You've already checked the trunk.

01:17:29.584 --> 01:17:31.376 align:center
Let's not start this again.

01:17:31.460 --> 01:17:33.000 align:center
I told you he doesn't get jokes.

01:17:33.084 --> 01:17:34.668 align:center
Why am I being held up?

01:17:34.708 --> 01:17:36.584 align:center
Just play a game with us -
then you can leave.

01:17:36.624 --> 01:17:38.208 align:center
Play what?

01:17:38.460 --> 01:17:42.000 align:center
- Let's play truth or dare, okay?
- I'll lose my job.

01:17:42.084 --> 01:17:47.084 align:center
Just one round, just one game,
then you may leave.

01:17:47.460 --> 01:17:48.960 align:center
You are out of your fucking minds, yeah?

01:17:49.000 --> 01:17:50.084 align:center
I'm just gonna leave, yeah?

01:17:50.168 --> 01:17:51.376 align:center
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...
(Rohit pushes him down)

01:17:51.460 --> 01:17:52.792 align:center
Where are your manners, huh?

01:17:54.416 --> 01:17:57.752 align:center
When a lady asks you to do something,
you got to do it!

01:17:57.792 --> 01:17:58.876 align:center
You got to do it!

01:17:58.916 --> 01:18:00.752 align:center
To hell with manners!

01:18:01.376 --> 01:18:04.040 align:center
Be a gentleman!

01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:15.752 align:center
Do you know how to play, Basuki?

01:18:15.832 --> 01:18:18.000 align:center
He doesn't even know how to play Ludo.

01:18:18.040 --> 01:18:19.168 align:center
Okay!

01:18:19.208 --> 01:18:22.000 align:center
It's very simple. You see...

01:18:22.040 --> 01:18:26.624 align:center
It's fairly easy, hmm?
You take this bottle...

01:18:27.292 --> 01:18:29.960 align:center
And you spin!

01:18:32.332 --> 01:18:35.332 align:center
So, now you ask me.

01:18:36.876 --> 01:18:39.252 align:center
Ask what?

01:18:39.668 --> 01:18:41.916 align:center
Say truth or dare.

01:18:42.500 --> 01:18:44.040 align:center
I say, truth or dare?

01:18:44.084 --> 01:18:47.084 align:center
Yeah, yeah. You're doing good Basuki.

01:18:48.168 --> 01:18:50.416 align:center
- Am I?
- Yes.

01:18:52.500 --> 01:18:54.332 align:center
I choose truth.

01:18:54.540 --> 01:18:56.252 align:center
Bloody liar!

01:18:56.292 --> 01:18:57.832 align:center
Ask me anything.

01:18:58.168 --> 01:19:00.584 align:center
And, you'll see I never lie.

01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:09.332 align:center
Who the hell is Lord Curzon?

01:19:09.584 --> 01:19:11.584 align:center
I knew you would ask me this.

01:19:11.752 --> 01:19:12.460 align:center
No lies!

01:19:12.540 --> 01:19:14.832 align:center
No never, nothing but the truth!

01:19:15.040 --> 01:19:16.960 align:center
Okay, good, tell me.

01:19:18.832 --> 01:19:21.460 align:center
He is no lord.

01:19:23.332 --> 01:19:26.708 align:center
We just called him Lord as a joke.

01:19:30.876 --> 01:19:34.252 align:center
He was a miserable old man,

01:19:35.832 --> 01:19:38.460 align:center
slightly delusional though.

01:19:38.876 --> 01:19:42.416 align:center
He thought he believed in equality.

01:19:42.960 --> 01:19:46.584 align:center
But was actually a racist pig!

01:19:48.584 --> 01:19:52.708 align:center
He, thought he was superior to others.

01:19:53.376 --> 01:19:56.624 align:center
But was actually fucking miserable.

01:19:58.040 --> 01:19:59.376 align:center
He thought...

01:20:00.040 --> 01:20:02.916 align:center
That he could destroy my life...

01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:06.584 align:center
Kill my dreams.

01:20:06.752 --> 01:20:09.668 align:center
He thought he could send me back!

01:20:18.084 --> 01:20:21.084 align:center
But, I'm still here.

01:20:24.540 --> 01:20:26.416 align:center
I've won!

01:20:26.624 --> 01:20:28.332 align:center
You see?

01:20:28.584 --> 01:20:31.376 align:center
Did he work in the home (VISA) office?

01:20:31.584 --> 01:20:34.460 align:center
Henry Curzon -

01:20:35.668 --> 01:20:38.540 align:center
This is his house.

01:20:39.332 --> 01:20:42.208 align:center
The sofa's his as well.

01:20:42.460 --> 01:20:47.208 align:center
The drinks you had - the Irish
whisky you had - also his.

01:20:48.460 --> 01:20:50.040 align:center
But where is he?

01:20:50.208 --> 01:20:51.584 align:center
Hmmm...

01:20:52.584 --> 01:20:57.416 align:center
Only one question,
that's the rule of the game.

01:20:58.208 --> 01:21:03.168 align:center
And I have answered
that question truthfully.

01:21:05.540 --> 01:21:07.292 align:center
Your turn babe!

01:21:07.460 --> 01:21:10.584 align:center
(Music)

01:21:22.916 --> 01:21:26.040 align:center
Truth or dare?

01:21:30.540 --> 01:21:32.500 align:center
Truth.

01:21:35.584 --> 01:21:39.792 align:center
Do you think... a brown-skinned person

01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:42.416 align:center
could ever truly be English?

01:21:47.916 --> 01:21:49.040 align:center
I pass.

01:21:49.252 --> 01:21:52.040 align:center
You can't. Rules of the game.

01:21:55.252 --> 01:21:58.084 align:center
Ask me anything else.

01:21:58.876 --> 01:22:01.708 align:center
Do you think anyone in this room...

01:22:01.752 --> 01:22:04.708 align:center
Could ever truly be Brit?

01:22:05.916 --> 01:22:09.500 align:center
(Heavy wind)

01:22:19.168 --> 01:22:20.752 align:center
Your turn.

01:22:30.960 --> 01:22:32.752 align:center
Dare.

01:22:33.960 --> 01:22:36.668 align:center
Truth or dare?

01:22:38.668 --> 01:22:39.876 align:center
Truth.

01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:41.208 align:center
Where is Henry?

01:22:41.252 --> 01:22:42.752 align:center
In his house.

01:22:42.876 --> 01:22:44.124 align:center
You mean this house?

01:22:44.252 --> 01:22:49.124 align:center
That's another question but yes,
in this very house.

01:22:56.332 --> 01:22:57.916 align:center
Then why don't I see him?

01:22:58.376 --> 01:23:00.960 align:center
That's another-another question!

01:23:01.916 --> 01:23:04.168 align:center
Rohit your turn!

01:23:13.832 --> 01:23:16.376 align:center
Dare, dare, dare, dare!

01:23:17.752 --> 01:23:19.460 align:center
Truth or dare?

01:23:19.876 --> 01:23:21.332 align:center
Dare!

01:23:22.040 --> 01:23:24.416 align:center
- You sure?
- Absolutely!

01:23:24.916 --> 01:23:27.540 align:center
Not a coward like you all!

01:23:27.624 --> 01:23:29.208 align:center
Sure about it?

01:23:29.252 --> 01:23:31.252 align:center
Extremely.

01:23:34.832 --> 01:23:37.832 align:center
Kiss your husband!

01:23:40.832 --> 01:23:42.832 align:center
(Piano key)

01:23:49.584 --> 01:23:53.460 align:center
Oh Mr. Husband. Come here!

01:23:53.832 --> 01:23:56.500 align:center
Come on now...

01:23:56.584 --> 01:23:59.124 align:center
- Don't be shy!
- Don't be crazy!

01:23:59.208 --> 01:24:02.124 align:center
Why are you being so shy?
Come here!

01:24:03.292 --> 01:24:05.584 align:center
- Just one kiss, come! Be a sport.
- Ira, don't talk rubbish!

01:24:05.752 --> 01:24:07.624 align:center
Why, why, why? Just a game.

01:24:07.708 --> 01:24:10.332 align:center
We just need to do one kiss,
come on.

01:24:10.584 --> 01:24:12.332 align:center
Ira - Just don't -

01:24:12.416 --> 01:24:14.460 align:center
Let me kiss you, for a change...

01:24:14.540 --> 01:24:16.040 align:center
Ira - Please.

01:24:16.252 --> 01:24:17.916 align:center
Come on.

01:24:18.500 --> 01:24:21.168 align:center
Ashamed, are we? Hmm?

01:24:22.084 --> 01:24:23.916 align:center
- Ashamed, are you to kiss me?
- Ira...

01:24:23.960 --> 01:24:25.376 align:center
Ira, what are you doing?

01:24:25.460 --> 01:24:27.168 align:center
Come here!

01:24:27.500 --> 01:24:28.460 align:center
Stop!

01:24:28.540 --> 01:24:30.292 align:center
- Look here.
- Stop, Ira.

01:24:30.416 --> 01:24:33.252 align:center
Ira, what are you doing? Ira!

01:24:33.292 --> 01:24:36.124 align:center
- Feeling shy! Come on!
- (Basuki breathes heavily)

01:24:36.252 --> 01:24:37.332 align:center
Ira!

01:24:37.500 --> 01:24:38.792 align:center
Ira! What the... Just stop this nonsense!

01:24:38.832 --> 01:24:40.252 align:center
What the hell!

01:25:04.540 --> 01:25:07.540 align:center
(Music)

01:25:10.916 --> 01:25:13.916 align:center
You can't pass!

01:25:20.584 --> 01:25:23.584 align:center
(Thunder sound)

01:26:01.292 --> 01:26:04.292 align:center
(Rohit chuckles)

01:26:08.000 --> 01:26:11.000 align:center
(Ira moans)

01:26:48.960 --> 01:26:50.332 align:center
Henry?

01:26:50.416 --> 01:26:52.252 align:center
Curzon?

01:26:59.208 --> 01:27:02.208 align:center
Oh my God, he is dead.

01:27:06.292 --> 01:27:10.292 align:center
This... wasn't part of the plan.

01:27:12.292 --> 01:27:14.292 align:center
This is Lord Curzon for real!

01:27:14.460 --> 01:27:16.584 align:center
You guys are murderers!

01:27:16.668 --> 01:27:21.000 align:center
Shut up and give me a hand,
you half-Brit!

01:27:22.040 --> 01:27:24.040 align:center
You too Basuki!

01:27:24.376 --> 01:27:28.124 align:center
No, I refuse to be part of
this criminal offence.

01:27:28.460 --> 01:27:30.416 align:center
(Rohit scoffs)

01:27:31.168 --> 01:27:33.752 align:center
- Are you coming?
- No fucking way, mate!

01:27:34.416 --> 01:27:37.168 align:center
Did you say, no fucking way to me?
- Alright, alright, alright!

01:27:37.332 --> 01:27:38.960 align:center
I'll help you!

01:27:39.124 --> 01:27:41.040 align:center
But I'm not doing it
out of my free will!

01:27:41.084 --> 01:27:43.876 align:center
Aw... I don't care. Just help.

01:27:45.416 --> 01:27:48.124 align:center
Get his hands! Hurry up!

01:27:48.292 --> 01:27:51.124 align:center
(Music)

01:27:51.832 --> 01:27:53.832 align:center
Use your fucking strength man!

01:27:54.040 --> 01:27:56.040 align:center
Put him down.

01:28:01.668 --> 01:28:03.668 align:center
Come on!

01:28:41.376 --> 01:28:45.960 align:center
Let me fucking go!
Let me go!

01:28:46.168 --> 01:28:48.168 align:center
Let me fucking go!

01:28:48.416 --> 01:28:50.668 align:center
- It's hurting!
- Let it fucking hurt!

01:28:50.752 --> 01:28:52.500 align:center
- It's hurting!
- Let it fucking hurt!

01:28:52.584 --> 01:28:54.792 align:center
- It's hurting!
- Let it fucking hurt!

01:28:55.208 --> 01:28:56.208 align:center
- It's hurt-
- Let it fucking hurt!

01:28:56.624 --> 01:28:58.416 align:center
- It's hurting!
- Let it fucking hurt!

01:28:58.708 --> 01:29:00.084 align:center
Let it fucking hurt!

01:29:02.832 --> 01:29:07.708 align:center
- (Ira curses him in Hindi)
- (Pizza man groans)

01:29:08.752 --> 01:29:12.376 align:center
Told you not to fucking touch me.
Didn't I? Didn't I?!

01:29:12.460 --> 01:29:15.332 align:center
You bloody half-Brit! Didn't I tell
you not to touch me?

01:29:15.624 --> 01:29:18.208 align:center
Why did you touch me then?

01:29:18.376 --> 01:29:20.416 align:center
Told you not to fucking touch me.

01:29:20.876 --> 01:29:23.624 align:center
Does it hurt? Does it hurt?!

01:29:23.916 --> 01:29:26.332 align:center
- Tell me does it hurt?
- It hurts. It hurts.

01:29:26.584 --> 01:29:29.832 align:center
Let it hurt! Let it hurt then!

01:29:34.708 --> 01:29:37.708 align:center
(Ira beats him to pulp)

01:31:03.752 --> 01:31:05.752 align:center
Dial.

01:31:07.040 --> 01:31:09.332 align:center
What are you going to say?

01:31:09.708 --> 01:31:12.624 align:center
Ira, just... Just come to your senses, okay?

01:31:19.208 --> 01:31:22.208 align:center
Tell me - why did you marry me?

01:31:25.040 --> 01:31:28.084 align:center
Ira you're scaring me...

01:31:35.332 --> 01:31:38.332 align:center
You don't like me, right?

01:31:38.376 --> 01:31:40.876 align:center
Ira just calm down - Just...

01:31:40.916 --> 01:31:43.916 align:center
Just listen to me. Just calm down.

01:31:52.124 --> 01:31:55.124 align:center
Tell me, how do I look in this dress?

01:31:55.916 --> 01:31:59.040 align:center
Good. Very good!

01:32:05.792 --> 01:32:08.584 align:center
- Am I looking good?
- Yes!

01:32:09.208 --> 01:32:12.292 align:center
Yes, very pretty.

01:32:12.332 --> 01:32:15.168 align:center
- Very pretty?
- Yes, very pretty.

01:32:15.208 --> 01:32:18.208 align:center
Ira, listen to me.

01:32:18.708 --> 01:32:21.708 align:center
Just, just calm down, okay?

01:32:23.124 --> 01:32:25.792 align:center
Then why didn't you kiss me?

01:32:26.124 --> 01:32:28.252 align:center
Ira...

01:32:34.708 --> 01:32:37.708 align:center
Kiss me!

01:32:43.040 --> 01:32:45.916 align:center
I said...

01:32:46.792 --> 01:32:48.376 align:center
Kiss me!

01:32:48.624 --> 01:32:52.376 align:center
(Music)

01:32:54.832 --> 01:32:57.040 align:center
Kiss me!

01:34:10.084 --> 01:34:13.084 align:center
(Music)

01:34:28.000 --> 01:34:30.916 align:center
Is there hot water in the bathroom?

01:34:31.292 --> 01:34:33.000 align:center
Hm.

01:35:44.540 --> 01:35:47.708 align:center
(Music)

01:37:13.168 --> 01:37:15.332 align:center
Sanya,

01:37:18.292 --> 01:37:21.040 align:center
give me something to wear.

01:38:10.752 --> 01:38:13.376 align:center
Are you done?

01:38:24.832 --> 01:38:27.832 align:center
How are you feeling now?

01:38:29.208 --> 01:38:32.208 align:center
Everything is a blur.

01:38:34.584 --> 01:38:35.792 align:center
I feel like I am flying.

01:38:35.960 --> 01:38:38.792 align:center
(Rohit chuckles)

01:38:39.416 --> 01:38:42.460 align:center
That's how you feel.
The first time.

01:38:42.540 --> 01:38:45.540 align:center
Light!

01:38:47.624 --> 01:38:50.500 align:center
Welcome to the world of light!

01:38:52.460 --> 01:38:54.460 align:center
Let's go.

01:38:55.832 --> 01:38:58.208 align:center
I feel suffocated here.

01:39:16.376 --> 01:39:19.040 align:center
What happened now?

01:39:19.624 --> 01:39:22.540 align:center
You guys go ahead, I am coming.

01:39:24.292 --> 01:39:28.040 align:center
Hi! This is an emergency,
my house is under attack!

01:39:28.376 --> 01:39:33.752 align:center
There are intruders!
They look Indian or maybe Pakis!

01:39:34.376 --> 01:39:36.252 align:center
Oh, I don't know! Bloody brownies!

01:39:36.332 --> 01:39:38.708 align:center
- Sir, what's your name?
- Henry Curzon!

01:39:38.792 --> 01:39:41.292 align:center
We are sending officers to your address-

01:39:49.792 --> 01:39:52.752 align:center
What a beautiful city, isn't it?

01:39:56.668 --> 01:39:59.708 align:center
I am in love with this place.

01:40:01.752 --> 01:40:04.708 align:center
I don't want to live anywhere
else in the world!

01:40:06.500 --> 01:40:09.540 align:center
Everything feels like a dream.

01:40:14.332 --> 01:40:19.792 align:center
These damn Britishers ruled us for
two-hundred years in our own country,

01:40:20.292 --> 01:40:25.084 align:center
And they can't give me a VISA
even for two years?

01:40:25.584 --> 01:40:28.376 align:center
I'm on a spouse VISA,

01:40:29.252 --> 01:40:32.168 align:center
do you think they'll send
me back to Bhatinda?

01:40:33.916 --> 01:40:35.040 align:center
I don't want to go!

01:40:35.252 --> 01:40:43.376 align:center
(Church bell chimes)

01:40:51.208 --> 01:40:55.124 align:center
(Car engine revs)

01:41:18.168 --> 01:41:22.668 align:center
(Cuckoo clock chimes)

01:41:26.376 --> 01:41:29.208 align:center
(Clock ticks)

01:42:06.584 --> 01:42:11.540 align:center
In other news - the issue of squatters
in the UK is escalating enormously.

01:42:11.624 --> 01:42:13.332 align:center
In the most recent episode,

01:42:13.376 --> 01:42:18.208 align:center
three dead bodies were recovered from
a summer home in the outskirts of London.

01:42:18.252 --> 01:42:21.916 align:center
The police are yet to confirm
the identities of the bodies.

01:42:22.040 --> 01:42:25.040 align:center
And now, to the weather forecast.