WEBVTT 01:21.500 --> 01:24.376 (Music) 01:35.208 --> 01:37.668 (Heavy Wind) 02:40.668 --> 02:42.668 (Door opens) 02:44.540 --> 02:46.540 (Door closes) 02:55.832 --> 03:00.040 (Hammering sound) 03:02.832 --> 03:04.376 Why are you running? 03:04.376 --> 03:06.208 We will miss the bus. 03:06.208 --> 03:09.040 So let it go! 03:09.416 --> 03:11.668 Don't you want to go? 03:11.668 --> 03:15.708 If we miss this one, we will just take the next one! 03:15.708 --> 03:17.540 Hm. 03:18.500 --> 03:20.832 (British crowd chatter) 03:24.084 --> 03:26.084 (Traffic sound) 03:33.708 --> 03:35.584 - Hello! 03:43.832 --> 03:46.832 Isn't this beautiful? 03:52.668 --> 03:56.084 You have never taken me for the Thames ferry ride. 03:56.168 --> 03:58.168 Thames... 04:00.500 --> 04:02.624 Please be a little fast there. 04:02.876 --> 04:05.624 The last bus is at 10:30. 04:09.752 --> 04:12.500 Where's the bus? 04:16.124 --> 04:19.000 (Bus arriving sound) 04:31.460 --> 04:33.832 Parkin! 04:35.540 --> 04:38.876 Have you forgotten we're expecting guests? 04:40.832 --> 04:42.832 My, my... 04:43.376 --> 04:47.292 And what shall I call you? Lady Chatterly? 04:47.376 --> 04:49.040 Enough! 04:49.084 --> 04:51.208 Go get ready now! 04:51.292 --> 04:53.540 You haven't even cooked, have you? 04:53.876 --> 04:54.876 What will we feed them? 04:54.916 --> 04:57.416 No, I have not cooked, my Lady, 04:57.500 --> 05:02.832 but I've cleaned the house. And disposed off the trash! 05:04.168 --> 05:07.584 Anything else, my Lady needs? 05:07.624 --> 05:10.832 How does your Lady look? 05:10.876 --> 05:14.540 As always, my Lady; irresistible! 05:15.376 --> 05:16.584 And... 05:16.624 --> 05:21.168 Is my servant going to present himself in working class attire to the guests? 05:21.252 --> 05:24.960 Oh! Your guests are commoners! Why even does my Lady care? 05:25.000 --> 05:26.876 - I do! - Why? 05:27.000 --> 05:29.876 Because I'm the Lady! 05:31.332 --> 05:36.376 And... What if I rob my Lady of her finery by the time they arrive? 05:37.376 --> 05:40.584 My servant must be mindful of the time. 05:40.752 --> 05:43.540 The guests will be arriving any moment! 05:44.000 --> 05:46.460 Guests can wait! 05:46.540 --> 05:48.584 So can my servant! 05:48.708 --> 05:51.832 No... No he cannot, my Lady! 05:53.752 --> 05:55.084 Why? 05:55.668 --> 05:59.252 Because my Lady looks irresistible! 05:59.540 --> 06:03.540 (Rohit & Sanya Kiss) 06:15.500 --> 06:17.500 (Bus drives off) 06:20.332 --> 06:23.332 Where are we? 06:26.040 --> 06:27.960 No network! 06:28.040 --> 06:30.084 What place is this? 06:30.124 --> 06:33.124 I told you there will be no network here. 06:33.416 --> 06:35.460 What kind of friends are these? 06:35.500 --> 06:38.708 They couldn't even bother to pick us up. How are we going to go? 06:38.792 --> 06:43.460 We will just walk! Look at the weather, it's so beautiful. 06:43.500 --> 06:44.624 It will take only ten minutes. 06:44.708 --> 06:45.752 She had told me the route. 06:45.832 --> 06:48.000 Look at the pretty map drawing she made for us. 06:49.668 --> 06:51.376 It's this way! 06:52.292 --> 06:56.292 There is a shortcut through the jungle. I had asked her. 07:02.416 --> 07:05.708 It's so quiet here... 07:10.040 --> 07:13.084 It's not quiet, this is dead silence! 07:13.252 --> 07:16.752 Only two kinds of people need this kind of quiet... 07:16.792 --> 07:19.416 Artists and... 07:19.624 --> 07:23.668 So you already know that she is an actress. 07:24.752 --> 07:27.916 If she's an actress, doesn't she need to go for her shoots? 07:27.960 --> 07:30.792 How does she travel? 07:36.416 --> 07:39.000 Don't go there with such a rotten face Basu. 07:39.040 --> 07:42.624 We are going to someone's house for the first time - together. 07:43.252 --> 07:47.792 A little smile won't cost you any money. 07:48.540 --> 07:52.168 (Heavy wind) 07:58.960 --> 08:03.708 (Bell ringing sound) 08:07.376 --> 08:10.376 (Bell continues ringing) 08:11.540 --> 08:13.332 (Knocking sound) 08:13.460 --> 08:14.376 Rohit! 08:14.460 --> 08:15.832 What? 08:15.960 --> 08:17.292 They are here! 08:17.332 --> 08:20.376 They can wait! 08:21.752 --> 08:23.540 We are on time. 08:24.208 --> 08:25.916 We aren't early. 08:26.000 --> 08:29.000 No! Stop! 08:32.084 --> 08:34.624 And fix your hair! 08:38.916 --> 08:41.916 Look, I can hear footsteps. 08:43.252 --> 08:44.000 Hi! 08:44.040 --> 08:46.040 Hello... Is Sanya there? 08:46.084 --> 08:47.168 I'm Rohit! 08:47.252 --> 08:48.708 Hi... 08:49.376 --> 08:50.416 Doctor Basukinath! 08:50.500 --> 08:52.208 Welcome, welcome Doctor Nag! 08:52.252 --> 08:54.960 Not Nag, Nath. Basukinath. 08:55.000 --> 08:57.876 I'm so sorry, Dr. Nath! 08:58.168 --> 09:00.416 You may call me Basuki, mate! 09:00.500 --> 09:01.916 Basuki! 09:02.000 --> 09:04.668 Hmm... Basuki... 09:05.124 --> 09:06.960 -Ira. -Hi. 09:08.916 --> 09:10.584 - Shall we come in? - Of course! 09:10.668 --> 09:11.960 Please, please. 09:12.084 --> 09:15.040 Sanya is right here. 09:15.540 --> 09:18.584 Shut the door please. 09:20.040 --> 09:21.252 Come in, come in. Please. 09:21.292 --> 09:23.000 Sanya is right here. 09:23.040 --> 09:24.832 Ira and Basukinath! 09:24.876 --> 09:26.376 - Hi. - Hello. 09:26.500 --> 09:28.040 How are you? 09:28.124 --> 09:31.084 - Wow. - Thank you. 09:31.252 --> 09:32.208 Hi. 09:32.332 --> 09:34.124 Such a sweet house. 09:34.168 --> 09:35.332 Good evening. 09:35.460 --> 09:37.332 You guys are quite rich, man! 09:37.500 --> 09:39.708 - Very nice. - Oh, I'll get that. 09:39.876 --> 09:41.292 Thank you. 09:43.376 --> 09:44.292 - Thank you. - Thank you, Sir. 09:44.332 --> 09:45.792 Please. 09:47.832 --> 09:50.624 Okay, first of all, what will you drink? 09:50.708 --> 09:51.668 Do you want to try something new? 09:51.752 --> 09:54.000 Of course, do you even have to ask? 09:54.040 --> 09:56.540 And what shall I offer you, doctor? 09:56.584 --> 09:59.376 I'm good. Thank you! 09:59.832 --> 10:02.376 Come on. Don't be formal! 10:03.208 --> 10:06.252 We don't drink! 10:07.668 --> 10:09.416 Actually, I will also have orange juice. 10:09.500 --> 10:11.752 Man, what is this? 10:11.876 --> 10:15.208 Come on Basuki, don't be a spoilsport! 10:15.252 --> 10:17.376 How can there be a party without drinks? 10:17.460 --> 10:20.460 Actually, we don't drink. 10:21.168 --> 10:24.332 Really? I didn't know that. 10:26.624 --> 10:28.832 If you are going to have juice, why have orange juice? 10:28.916 --> 10:30.960 I will get you something interesting! 10:31.040 --> 10:32.000 Interesting like? 10:32.040 --> 10:37.332 Like, I don't know, kiwi, or gooseberry or maybe red currant! 10:37.752 --> 10:39.168 Wow! 10:39.460 --> 10:41.500 Rohit is such a wonderful host! 10:41.584 --> 10:42.752 Red currant for me! 10:42.832 --> 10:43.500 Okay. 10:43.540 --> 10:45.168 Umm... 10:45.500 --> 10:48.540 Red currant for you also, sir? 10:49.584 --> 10:52.460 No, plain orange juice please. 10:53.208 --> 10:55.124 You don't want to try? 10:55.792 --> 10:57.792 No. Thank you. 10:58.584 --> 11:00.708 You sure? 11:00.792 --> 11:05.500 Just plain and simple orange juice would be wonderful. 11:05.624 --> 11:08.500 It will be ideal. 11:09.960 --> 11:12.332 Okay, I'll take that. 11:12.376 --> 11:14.292 Thank you. 11:14.332 --> 11:15.792 I'll light the fire. 11:24.832 --> 11:26.832 Sanya. 11:27.624 --> 11:29.708 Sanya! 11:32.832 --> 11:35.208 What happened? 11:35.252 --> 11:36.416 What? 11:36.624 --> 11:39.332 There is no red currant here. 11:39.584 --> 11:40.624 What do we do now? 11:40.752 --> 11:41.876 Thank god, there is orange juice. 11:41.916 --> 11:44.124 Otherwise, this man would have killed you. 11:44.332 --> 11:48.916 No thanks, just plain and simple orange juice please. 11:48.960 --> 11:50.376 Why is he so serious? 11:50.460 --> 11:51.624 He is a doctor, you see. 11:51.708 --> 11:52.960 Seems like a headmaster. 11:58.708 --> 12:03.000 Should we serve plain orange juice to that poor girl Ira as well? 12:04.000 --> 12:06.000 (Pours Gin) 12:06.668 --> 12:09.668 That should be good. 12:17.832 --> 12:19.792 Your orange juice, sir! 12:19.876 --> 12:23.876 Sorry, Ira. red currant turned out to be a little sour. 12:26.832 --> 12:30.752 Don't worry Basuki, orange juice is absolutely fine. 12:31.040 --> 12:33.040 (Basuki sniffs) 12:35.500 --> 12:37.500 - Mm - Hm. 12:37.584 --> 12:39.332 No, I want Red Currant. 12:39.376 --> 12:40.792 Taste it, at least. 12:40.876 --> 12:44.124 Why should I? You offered me red currant, now get it for me. 12:44.292 --> 12:46.668 Ira... Behave. 12:47.460 --> 12:49.668 Give it a try love! 12:52.624 --> 12:54.960 (Everyone takes a sip) 12:55.000 --> 12:56.376 Hmm... 12:56.500 --> 12:57.752 How is it? 12:58.252 --> 13:00.252 Orange juice... 13:01.624 --> 13:04.624 Best orange juice ever! 13:08.876 --> 13:12.584 (Grandfather clock chimes) 13:29.332 --> 13:32.332 Isn't this trunk too big? 13:33.960 --> 13:35.916 You store warm clothes in it? 13:35.960 --> 13:39.124 No, no. No warm clothes, 13:39.168 --> 13:41.168 just a dead body! 13:41.460 --> 13:43.876 He is kidding! 13:45.624 --> 13:48.000 - Whose body? - Lord Curzon's. 13:48.292 --> 13:50.876 Lord Curzon! 13:51.416 --> 13:53.960 (Uncontrollable laughter) 13:54.040 --> 13:56.208 Poor Lord Curzon! 13:56.252 --> 13:59.040 He is inside that! 14:01.500 --> 14:02.500 Who is Lord Curzon? 14:02.584 --> 14:04.500 Ask him. He is inside that. 14:04.668 --> 14:06.208 Enough Rohit! 14:06.252 --> 14:08.832 - He is kidding. - Sorry. 14:09.208 --> 14:10.876 Of course. 14:13.752 --> 14:15.916 If he has kept someone inside this even for fun, 14:15.960 --> 14:18.168 then he will die of asphyxiation! 14:18.500 --> 14:21.460 Ass...fuck...what? 14:22.332 --> 14:23.916 Asphyxiation! 14:24.292 --> 14:25.876 Lack of oxygen! 14:26.040 --> 14:30.168 No human being can survive without that for more than three minutes! 14:30.584 --> 14:35.584 Wow, doc, you really know your shit, huh? 14:36.084 --> 14:37.752 This is going to be fun! 14:37.832 --> 14:39.460 Stop it Rohit! 14:39.540 --> 14:41.668 His sense of humour is really crooked. 14:41.752 --> 14:43.708 Just a bit. 14:43.876 --> 14:46.668 Ira, let's get you some more orange juice... 14:46.792 --> 14:49.752 And I'll show you the house.. 14:51.668 --> 14:54.668 Can you open that trunk? 14:59.460 --> 15:00.460 What? 15:01.460 --> 15:02.752 Can't I crack a joke? 15:07.376 --> 15:09.040 Even his sense of humour is wicked! 15:09.084 --> 15:13.084 Oh my... Good- Good joke doc! 15:13.168 --> 15:16.168 "Can I open the trunk?" 15:17.832 --> 15:19.876 Oh man... 15:21.332 --> 15:22.332 Wow. 15:22.708 --> 15:25.708 You've made a maze under the house? 15:26.208 --> 15:28.208 Wine cellar. 15:28.668 --> 15:31.792 Okay, you guys are seriously rich! 15:34.000 --> 15:35.376 You know what, when I met Rohit, I didn't feel like I was 15:35.416 --> 15:37.252 meeting him for the first time. 15:37.292 --> 15:38.960 He is funny. 15:39.208 --> 15:42.376 Even I don't feel like I've known him for so long.. 15:42.540 --> 15:45.084 He's pretty (mischievous) right? 15:45.124 --> 15:46.252 (Khura)...what? 15:46.376 --> 15:47.540 "Khurafati" 15:48.084 --> 15:49.416 "Khurafati"? 15:49.960 --> 15:51.332 It means naughty. 15:51.376 --> 15:52.332 Oh. 15:53.000 --> 15:55.252 Or he could be wicked! 15:57.960 --> 15:59.332 Yeah? 15:59.500 --> 16:02.332 I mean seriously, who jokes this way! 16:03.124 --> 16:05.960 Lord Curzon! 16:06.624 --> 16:09.500 Inside the trunk. 16:10.624 --> 16:12.332 Does Basuki know? 16:12.416 --> 16:14.416 (Piano key) 16:18.460 --> 16:23.500 So... Sir, what kind of doctor are you? 16:24.960 --> 16:28.584 What do you know about medical science? 16:28.624 --> 16:31.624 Not much, I have been to the hospital a couple of times. 16:31.668 --> 16:36.668 Once for suspected dengue, another time for typhoid... 16:37.332 --> 16:39.752 And I don't remember clearly but... 16:39.832 --> 16:44.084 My grandmother told me that I was even born in a hospital! 16:44.584 --> 16:48.584 Under a doctor's supervision! Imagine! 16:52.040 --> 16:55.624 So medical science means... hospitals? Very nice! 16:55.916 --> 16:59.040 No, no. Doctors. And nurses as well. 17:04.500 --> 17:10.460 Medical science isn't about doctors, hospitals, or nurses, Mr. Rohit. 17:11.040 --> 17:12.332 Oh? 17:15.000 --> 17:17.832 It's about human life! 17:18.168 --> 17:19.876 Ah... 17:21.000 --> 17:23.332 The sanctity of human life! 17:26.376 --> 17:31.292 Had you known this, you wouldn't joke about death! 17:34.960 --> 17:37.832 You think it was a joke? 17:52.876 --> 17:55.832 Come on doctor! 17:57.168 --> 18:00.168 Got you again, right? Right? 18:01.252 --> 18:02.540 Sorry, sorry. 18:02.960 --> 18:04.960 Excuse me. 18:09.376 --> 18:12.376 (Piano key) 18:24.584 --> 18:27.668 Are these yours? 18:29.124 --> 18:30.752 Wow. 18:31.416 --> 18:35.000 When do you wear these? I have never seen you in these. 18:35.376 --> 18:37.916 On special occasions. 18:39.876 --> 18:41.916 Seriously? 18:42.792 --> 18:44.960 Do you want to try? 18:50.540 --> 18:53.292 No, no. I will look like a cartoon. 18:53.832 --> 18:56.540 Not a cartoon - Queen! 18:57.416 --> 19:00.000 That oldie! 19:01.832 --> 19:04.500 Your doctor will go crazy! 19:04.584 --> 19:07.084 Try it once. 19:07.460 --> 19:10.460 Really? 19:27.752 --> 19:30.460 (Knocking sound) 19:36.916 --> 19:39.668 (Knocking sound) 19:40.752 --> 19:43.460 (Music) 19:46.292 --> 19:49.000 (Knocking continues) 20:09.960 --> 20:11.960 (Knocking sound) 20:38.252 --> 20:40.416 Basuki! 20:45.792 --> 20:47.752 Basuki! 20:58.332 --> 21:00.876 How do I look? 21:06.792 --> 21:09.124 How do I look? 21:15.208 --> 21:18.208 Do you not like it? 21:18.376 --> 21:19.376 Should I change? 21:19.416 --> 21:22.416 Someone is inside. 21:23.208 --> 21:25.252 Inside here? 21:25.292 --> 21:27.416 I just heard a knock. 21:27.876 --> 21:29.416 Rohit was joking. 21:29.752 --> 21:32.460 I heard it with my own ears. 21:43.540 --> 21:45.252 I don't hear anything. 21:45.584 --> 21:46.960 Listen, now. 21:50.376 --> 21:51.668 Now. 22:03.124 --> 22:05.416 I can't hear anything. 22:05.460 --> 22:09.252 How can you possibly listen if you are constantly blabbering? 22:12.292 --> 22:15.292 Focus. 22:17.416 --> 22:20.040 Your ears have become too sharp but your eyes weaker. 22:20.124 --> 22:25.124 Can't you remain shut up even for a second, Ira? 22:39.292 --> 22:41.792 Keep waiting. Keep listening. Maybe there is a rat jumping inside the trunk. 22:41.876 --> 22:45.876 but the human standing in front of you is invisible to you. 23:01.292 --> 23:04.708 (Knocking sound) 23:13.792 --> 23:16.960 She is pretty, isn't she? 23:19.668 --> 23:21.876 Rohit, are you blushing? 23:22.124 --> 23:23.960 What? No! 23:24.460 --> 23:26.668 You like her, don't you? 23:26.876 --> 23:30.292 Forget all of that, what are we going to feed them for dinner? 23:30.332 --> 23:31.376 We need to think. 23:53.584 --> 23:56.916 You don't care about me one bit, do you? 23:59.376 --> 24:02.500 It's the first time we have stepped out of home together. 24:03.708 --> 24:06.708 If you are not liking it, let's go back. 24:07.252 --> 24:08.460 Hm? 24:10.876 --> 24:13.752 There's still time before the next bus arrives. 24:18.208 --> 24:19.624 We might as well go and wait at the bus stop. 24:19.668 --> 24:22.752 It's better than sitting here with a rotten face. 24:22.832 --> 24:24.668 Let's go. 24:32.376 --> 24:35.168 Whose dress is this? 24:41.624 --> 24:44.624 Did you just notice it? 24:46.752 --> 24:51.792 Ok, tell me now. Am I looking nice in it? 24:54.168 --> 24:58.040 Will you go home wearing that? 24:58.708 --> 25:01.960 Just go and return it. 25:07.916 --> 25:10.960 Only concerned about going back. 25:14.832 --> 25:18.252 (Sanya moaning) 25:33.208 --> 25:35.208 What do you think? 25:35.708 --> 25:38.124 What's going on downstairs? 25:38.292 --> 25:41.292 Saint Basukinath won't make a move. 25:41.500 --> 25:44.500 - Really? - Let's bet. 25:45.708 --> 25:46.876 Not even a kiss? 25:46.960 --> 25:49.708 You can see it for yourself. 26:08.124 --> 26:10.668 What did I tell you? 26:10.876 --> 26:13.832 You're such an arsewipe! 26:16.124 --> 26:17.668 Poor girl! 26:28.668 --> 26:31.668 What's happened here? 26:32.832 --> 26:35.832 What's going on? 26:36.832 --> 26:40.416 Even Queen Victoria wasn't effective, huh? 26:40.540 --> 26:43.460 Rohit, get her an orange juice please. 26:45.752 --> 26:49.208 Let's order some pizza first! Then we'll talk about it! 26:49.624 --> 26:51.584 What's there in the trunk? 26:52.124 --> 26:56.208 Okay Basuki, that was a joke and it's over now. 26:56.832 --> 27:01.916 Let's talk about food. We can order either pizza or Chinese! 27:02.292 --> 27:05.584 Trunk. Can you open the trunk? 27:05.832 --> 27:08.624 Haha! Good joke Basuki! 27:09.668 --> 27:10.668 I'm serious. 27:10.708 --> 27:12.124 So am I! 27:12.668 --> 27:15.084 Pizza or Chinese? 27:15.624 --> 27:16.916 He hates Chinese. 27:17.000 --> 27:20.000 So, pizza then? 27:20.500 --> 27:23.500 Okay, so, what does he like? 27:28.000 --> 27:30.084 We never go out! 27:30.624 --> 27:32.752 (Knocking sound) 27:33.584 --> 27:35.668 Did you hear that? 27:36.792 --> 27:39.168 Okay, I'm ordering pizza for everyone! 27:39.708 --> 27:44.500 A vegetariana for Basuki with no onion, no garlic and no ginger! 27:44.540 --> 27:45.584 No ginger! 27:45.624 --> 27:46.916 And no yellow bell pepper. 27:47.000 --> 27:48.668 Okay, okay. 27:48.708 --> 27:50.084 What about you? 27:50.168 --> 27:53.168 I want a chicken-tikka-masala! 27:53.332 --> 27:54.584 A meat-feast! 27:54.792 --> 27:56.832 Okay, so one chicken-tikka masala, 27:57.292 --> 28:02.916 one vegetarian, no garlic, no onions, no ginger. 28:03.292 --> 28:05.000 What about you? 28:05.168 --> 28:08.252 I'll share Rohit's meat...feast. 28:11.168 --> 28:13.252 Rohit! You're good at ordering. 28:13.292 --> 28:14.832 Yeah. 28:16.792 --> 28:19.792 Come on, you help me! 28:19.960 --> 28:21.124 Come. 28:33.292 --> 28:35.292 Basuki... 28:37.000 --> 28:39.000 Sorry. 28:41.376 --> 28:44.416 Rohit shouldn't have started it. 28:44.752 --> 28:45.876 (Piano key) 28:45.960 --> 28:48.876 It was a bad joke to begin with. 29:01.084 --> 29:04.168 Thank you for meeting us. 29:05.376 --> 29:08.416 We really wanted to meet you! 29:13.876 --> 29:16.876 Rohit was planning to cook for you, but... 29:17.460 --> 29:20.460 things happened. 29:27.292 --> 29:30.292 Ira always talks about you. 29:32.208 --> 29:35.084 She really cares about you. 29:35.124 --> 29:38.084 You're a lucky guy. 29:43.168 --> 29:46.168 She talks about you too. 29:47.752 --> 29:50.040 - Hm. - Mhm. 29:52.960 --> 29:56.252 So, you are a big shot, an actress? 29:57.540 --> 29:59.000 Have you seen my films? 29:59.040 --> 30:02.332 No. I don't get time for any of that. 30:03.332 --> 30:06.124 But I have seen the poster. 30:06.624 --> 30:10.040 And of course Ira has told me about it. 30:13.668 --> 30:15.792 You indeed are a good actor! 30:17.752 --> 30:19.752 Thank you. 30:21.792 --> 30:24.792 What's in the trunk? 30:25.624 --> 30:28.624 Come on now! Don't kill our joke. 30:29.708 --> 30:31.876 Where's the key? 30:32.292 --> 30:35.252 (Dialing sound) 30:40.084 --> 30:41.832 Good evening! Her Majesty's Pizza! 30:41.876 --> 30:45.376 Yeah, hi, okay, we would like to order two number 23s, 30:45.416 --> 30:49.960 one number seven and one number 31 with customization. 30:50.000 --> 30:52.000 So, one number 23 with customization. 30:52.040 --> 30:54.040 No, number 31 with customization. 30:54.084 --> 30:56.376 And the customization is as follows - 30:56.416 --> 31:00.124 No bell pepper, no onion and garlic, and no... 31:00.168 --> 31:02.584 - Ginger. - Ginger. No ginger! 31:02.960 --> 31:06.000 I just want to check it out once. 31:07.168 --> 31:11.792 Come on. I thought you had a sense of humour! 31:12.416 --> 31:16.876 Well, I don't know if it even has ginger in it so, how can I remove it? 31:16.916 --> 31:17.832 He can't remove ginger. 31:17.876 --> 31:21.752 No I'm saying, I don't even know if it even has ginger in it. 31:21.832 --> 31:22.916 So how can I remove it? 31:22.960 --> 31:26.000 He can't remove the ginger. 31:26.540 --> 31:29.540 You eat ginger at home, don't you? 31:32.500 --> 31:35.500 She takes such good care of you. 31:35.792 --> 31:39.040 Alright, no, no, no, I'm going to repeat everything one last time, okay? 31:39.124 --> 31:41.500 Two number 23s, one number 7 and one number 31:41.540 --> 31:43.916 31 with customization. 31:44.000 --> 31:45.500 No ginger. 31:45.540 --> 31:46.376 Ginger is okay! 31:46.416 --> 31:47.876 Oh god, okay, sorry! 31:47.960 --> 31:50.500 Number 31 with customization-let the ginger be! 31:50.540 --> 31:54.916 So, 23 is with customization and number 7 you want... 31:55.000 --> 31:57.416 No, no, no, you've got it all wrong! What's wrong with you? 31:57.460 --> 31:59.168 Let me repeat everything. 31:59.332 --> 32:01.540 One chicken tikka no onion, no garlic! 32:01.584 --> 32:05.084 No no no! Vegetariana with no onion, no garlic and no ginger! 32:05.168 --> 32:06.376 But he said he can't remove ginger. 32:06.416 --> 32:09.040 No, I didn't say I can't remove ginger. 32:09.252 --> 32:13.040 I said I don't know if it even has ginger in the first place! 32:13.416 --> 32:16.252 Okay, listen to me very carefully mate. 32:16.332 --> 32:18.376 I'm going to repeat myself again. 32:18.416 --> 32:19.416 Alright! 32:19.460 --> 32:23.584 One chicken tikka with everything, one meat-feast with everything, 32:23.624 --> 32:25.916 No, sorry, two meat feasts with everything. 32:25.960 --> 32:30.376 and one vegetariana with no onion, no garlic, but with ginger. 32:30.416 --> 32:32.460 Now you repeat it. 32:33.084 --> 32:35.708 Alright - one meat feast, no onion, no garlic. 32:35.752 --> 32:37.000 One chicken tikka masala. 32:37.084 --> 32:39.252 And one vegetariana with extra ginger, extra garlic... 32:39.332 --> 32:42.376 What the fuck is wrong with you! You've got all the numbers wrong! 32:42.792 --> 32:44.500 Isn't Vegetariana number 31? 32:44.584 --> 32:48.332 No, it says 31 in the menu here! 32:48.584 --> 32:50.292 I think you have got the old menu. 32:50.792 --> 32:53.832 That is not my problem! You deal with it! Get my order right! 32:53.960 --> 32:55.668 Thank you very much! Long live the Queen! 32:55.792 --> 32:58.124 (Ira Chuckles) "Long live the queen!" 33:01.208 --> 33:03.208 Fuckin' dicks... 33:04.460 --> 33:07.376 It's okay, take a deep breath! 33:13.752 --> 33:16.792 You did a good job! 33:27.916 --> 33:30.916 Careful! 33:32.208 --> 33:35.252 It seems a little bland right? 33:38.460 --> 33:41.668 We should have some song and dance. 33:41.960 --> 33:45.124 - Sure. - Party! 33:51.040 --> 33:53.624 What kind of a CD is this? 33:53.752 --> 33:55.624 So big... 33:56.668 --> 33:58.876 Here in this place everything is bigger in size. 33:59.124 --> 34:01.084 Only the size of the country is small! 34:04.124 --> 34:06.124 (Knocking sound) 34:08.000 --> 34:10.376 (Music begins) 34:14.584 --> 34:17.584 Who listens to such ghostly music? 34:26.708 --> 34:27.584 Shall we dance? 34:27.624 --> 34:29.084 Yes! 34:40.040 --> 34:44.040 Lord Curzon must also be dancing like this. 34:50.124 --> 34:53.124 (Excited laughter) 34:55.668 --> 34:57.040 Enough! 34:59.500 --> 35:02.500 God! You're drunk! 35:03.416 --> 35:05.752 What have you been drinking? 35:07.084 --> 35:09.040 What have you been drinking? 35:12.500 --> 35:13.792 Orange juice! 35:13.876 --> 35:14.752 Orange juice! 35:16.540 --> 35:18.500 Orange juice! 35:18.916 --> 35:21.376 What's going on here? Why are you corrupting my wife? 35:21.416 --> 35:23.168 Corrupting? 35:24.252 --> 35:25.916 Corrupted as in, tarnished! 35:25.960 --> 35:29.792 I have been tarnished - courtesy the orange juice! 35:35.168 --> 35:37.916 Who's Lord Curzon, Ira? 35:38.376 --> 35:40.416 How do you know him? Where did you meet? 35:40.460 --> 35:42.332 Basuki, not again please! 35:42.376 --> 35:44.000 Shhhhh! 35:44.624 --> 35:48.500 I'm talking to my wife, please don't interfere! 35:49.460 --> 35:51.000 Where did you meet him? 35:51.084 --> 35:51.876 It was a joke.. 35:51.916 --> 35:53.752 Fucking shut up! 35:55.208 --> 35:57.208 You and your wife have spiked my wife's drink 35:57.292 --> 35:59.292 and now you're telling me it's a fucking joke! 35:59.376 --> 36:00.332 She is not my wife! 36:00.376 --> 36:02.252 Whatever! You tell me... 36:02.500 --> 36:04.916 Who is Lord Curzon? Tell me! 36:05.332 --> 36:07.376 Where did you meet and how do you know him? 36:07.540 --> 36:08.208 At the pub... 36:08.292 --> 36:09.416 Pub?! 36:11.252 --> 36:12.000 Huh? 36:12.208 --> 36:14.624 I go there sometimes, during the day to eat.. 36:14.708 --> 36:16.376 At the pub? 36:17.668 --> 36:19.208 Sorry Basu... 36:20.376 --> 36:23.376 I should have told you. 36:24.208 --> 36:26.416 It was a mistake, I will not do it again. 36:26.460 --> 36:27.876 I promise, I won't. 36:28.000 --> 36:29.832 How many times have you met him? 36:30.040 --> 36:32.208 - Met who? - Lord Curzon! Who else? 36:34.376 --> 36:36.168 I have never met him, never met him. 36:36.252 --> 36:38.084 How many times Ira? 36:39.376 --> 36:42.376 Just once or twice... 36:42.792 --> 36:44.124 Once or twice? 36:44.208 --> 36:46.668 Basu, you're misunderstanding, I've only seen him... 36:46.708 --> 36:47.916 Only seen him? 36:48.000 --> 36:50.040 And what do you do when you're 'just looking'? 36:50.124 --> 36:52.876 What do you do when you meet him Ira? 36:53.416 --> 36:56.332 Basu... you're getting it all wrong. 36:57.208 --> 36:58.208 There's nothing of the sort... 36:58.292 --> 36:59.752 When we go back home, I'll explain - 36:59.792 --> 37:03.416 Tell me what do you do when you meet him, Ira? 37:07.084 --> 37:09.252 What do you do when you meet him, Ira... 37:09.332 --> 37:13.460 What will I do with that old geezer? With one of his legs in the coffin. 37:14.376 --> 37:18.460 What do you do when you meet him? Answer that! 37:21.540 --> 37:23.376 I dated him, okay! 37:24.332 --> 37:25.876 I knew it! 37:26.960 --> 37:27.752 I knew it! 37:28.668 --> 37:30.084 (Music) 37:30.708 --> 37:33.000 (Ira sighs) 37:33.292 --> 37:34.624 I knew it! 37:36.792 --> 37:40.668 Actually, it wasn't dating. I was just having fun. 37:42.500 --> 37:44.668 He used to just look old. 38:14.332 --> 38:17.208 Good afternoon, Mr. Curzon! 38:17.708 --> 38:20.040 Would you like to try something new for lunch today? 38:20.208 --> 38:23.292 We've Ploughman's lunch, bangers and mash... 38:23.916 --> 38:25.040 No! 38:26.208 --> 38:28.460 Just fish and chips, please. 38:46.000 --> 38:49.000 He's so sad, the damn old man! 38:49.500 --> 38:52.792 Do you think he's ever eaten anything apart from fish and chips? 38:53.084 --> 38:56.960 Sanya, let him eat his fish and chips and die, who cares? 39:01.168 --> 39:04.084 Actually it wasn't dating, it was a fling. 39:04.500 --> 39:06.208 Do you want to know the details? 39:06.416 --> 39:10.752 When we did it? Where we did it? How we did it? 39:11.208 --> 39:13.540 Lord Curzon... 39:13.832 --> 39:15.208 Ahh... 39:17.292 --> 39:20.084 He had such luscious lips. 39:20.500 --> 39:24.708 Mmm... The way he would swirl it around. 39:25.500 --> 39:28.168 I am wet already! 39:29.084 --> 39:33.500 What a man! A real man! 39:42.292 --> 39:44.292 (Music) 39:47.624 --> 39:50.624 Where is that bastard? 39:51.332 --> 39:53.416 - I'll kill him! - (Rohit chuckles) 39:54.084 --> 39:55.792 What are friends for? 39:57.540 --> 39:59.960 He is already dead, doctor! 40:01.124 --> 40:04.124 You want a drink to celebrate? 40:09.624 --> 40:11.876 I've had enough of this. 40:15.584 --> 40:17.624 Wait, wait, wait. 40:21.832 --> 40:22.792 Is he in the trunk? 40:22.832 --> 40:24.292 Dead? 40:26.960 --> 40:30.040 Open the trunk. 40:31.584 --> 40:32.960 Are you sure? 40:33.376 --> 40:36.040 No, I don't trust any of you! 40:36.960 --> 40:38.540 Open the trunk! I need to see him dead! 40:38.708 --> 40:39.876 Have you completely lost it? 40:39.916 --> 40:41.000 Shut up! 40:41.624 --> 40:45.584 - Stay out of it, okay! - (Music) 40:47.168 --> 40:49.124 Get the key. Open the trunk! 40:49.292 --> 40:52.708 Ah, the key... Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure... 40:52.752 --> 40:55.168 Oh- I don't have the key. 40:55.252 --> 40:57.500 Break it open then, I don't care! 40:57.960 --> 41:03.000 Okay... why don't you ask Sanya? I'll open it if she asks me to. 41:05.292 --> 41:06.960 I said, open it! 41:07.584 --> 41:10.668 I told you, ask for Sanya's permission. It belongs to her. 41:10.708 --> 41:13.416 Ha ha ha... 41:13.624 --> 41:15.624 Funny man! 41:16.584 --> 41:18.752 No more jokes, please. 41:19.124 --> 41:22.124 Who the hell is joking, doctor? 41:35.500 --> 41:36.460 (Glass shattering sound) 41:36.500 --> 41:39.292 (Sanya peeing) 41:55.792 --> 41:58.792 (Basuki grunts) 42:05.540 --> 42:07.376 Oh my God! 42:24.624 --> 42:25.832 (Basuki knocking) 42:26.708 --> 42:27.792 Give me the key! 42:27.960 --> 42:29.500 Are you out of your mind?! 42:29.876 --> 42:31.584 I just want to check it once. 42:31.624 --> 42:34.124 It's a joke, why don't you get that? 42:34.168 --> 42:37.708 I said. Give. Me. The. Key! 42:37.752 --> 42:39.752 Ask Rohit. 42:40.792 --> 42:42.668 Don't try to act smart! 42:43.040 --> 42:46.084 I'm telling you, Rohit has them. 42:47.000 --> 42:48.124 Okay... 42:48.668 --> 42:50.668 If this is how you want to play it... 42:50.708 --> 42:51.832 I'm coming in! 42:51.876 --> 42:53.084 Stop it! 42:53.208 --> 42:55.332 I'm coming in! 43:11.084 --> 43:13.000 (Basuki charging) 43:13.084 --> 43:16.084 (Thud sound) 43:17.292 --> 43:20.292 (Music) 43:23.540 --> 43:24.752 Bitch! 43:27.416 --> 43:30.416 (Piano key) 43:41.000 --> 43:46.124 Now tell me, who the fuck is Lord Curzon? 43:47.500 --> 43:49.832 What kind of an Englishman are you? 43:49.876 --> 43:52.252 Don't even know your own history? 43:52.332 --> 43:54.752 No more jokes please. 43:54.792 --> 43:57.792 Who is Lord Curzon? Where is he? 43:58.208 --> 44:01.208 Who gave you the British citizenship? Hmmm? 44:01.876 --> 44:04.876 Did they not test your history? 44:05.708 --> 44:09.584 Thousands of Indians died of hunger under his rule. 44:09.668 --> 44:12.792 Because of hunger and famine! 44:14.168 --> 44:16.584 Do you want to die? 44:16.624 --> 44:22.168 Don't fucking waste my time. Tell me where is Lord Curzon, who is he? 44:24.208 --> 44:27.208 You fake Englishman... 44:28.040 --> 44:32.708 You couldn't be like them even if you wanted to. 44:32.752 --> 44:35.752 Kill me if you have it in you. 44:38.168 --> 44:41.168 Fuckin... 44:43.708 --> 44:45.416 (Knocking sound) 44:45.460 --> 44:46.376 (Music) 44:46.376 --> 44:48.584 Hey, did you hear that... 44:48.624 --> 44:52.584 Did you hear that? He's there, he is still alive, He's in this... 44:52.624 --> 44:55.668 - I'll kill him. - (Bell ringing sound) 44:55.668 --> 44:57.208 It's the door! 44:57.292 --> 44:59.500 Shhh... Don't-don't-don't try to divert me, okay? 44:59.540 --> 45:02.084 Just get the keys- just open this! 45:02.168 --> 45:03.416 (Knocking continues) 45:03.460 --> 45:07.252 Forgotten your own theory of Asphyxiation, doctor? 45:07.332 --> 45:09.584 How can he be alive in a trunk? 45:09.624 --> 45:11.332 Huh? 45:11.832 --> 45:14.832 (Bell ringing sound) 45:17.416 --> 45:20.416 Open the door Basuki, it's the pizza! 45:22.832 --> 45:25.832 (Piano key) 45:38.584 --> 45:41.584 Her Majesty's Pizza! 45:42.000 --> 45:45.000 That would be 24 pounds and 62p, ma'am! 45:45.584 --> 45:47.376 Hang on! I'll get the money! 45:47.416 --> 45:49.416 Sure. 45:57.124 --> 45:59.208 - It's the pizza man. - Pizza! 45:59.292 --> 46:02.292 We need to pay him. 25 pounds! 46:03.208 --> 46:04.252 Did you not hear it? 25 pounds. 46:04.292 --> 46:06.000 What? Am I the host? 46:06.208 --> 46:07.832 Just open me up, I will pay him. 46:07.916 --> 46:08.876 No! 46:08.960 --> 46:10.168 It's in his pocket. 46:10.252 --> 46:12.832 Again! Don't act smart. 46:19.000 --> 46:20.624 Hello? 46:26.792 --> 46:28.500 Coming! Have patience! 46:28.708 --> 46:32.084 Can you make it quick, please? I've got other deliveries to make. 46:32.168 --> 46:33.540 Showing off his fake accent. 46:33.584 --> 46:34.540 Should I return the pizza? 46:34.584 --> 46:36.040 No, no, I am very hungry. 46:36.124 --> 46:38.376 So somebody pay up, I don't have it, else I would have paid for it. 46:38.416 --> 46:40.832 Can you ever keep quiet, Ira? 47:01.040 --> 47:01.960 Oh! 47:02.040 --> 47:04.376 What the fuck! 47:06.416 --> 47:09.792 Don't be alarmed! It's just a game! 47:14.040 --> 47:15.000 You alright mate? 47:15.084 --> 47:17.460 Yeah, yeah man! It's just a game. 47:17.668 --> 47:20.668 Very much like our prime time entertainment! 47:20.708 --> 47:23.416 Oh, how cool! 47:23.460 --> 47:24.752 You wanna try it? 47:24.792 --> 47:25.752 Nah... 47:26.040 --> 47:26.876 Not tonight! 47:26.960 --> 47:27.832 Come on, try it! 47:27.876 --> 47:29.708 Nah, I've got pizzas to deliver. 47:29.832 --> 47:31.040 It's fun! 47:31.124 --> 47:34.124 Yeah, looks like a lot of fun. 47:34.332 --> 47:38.792 Okay, go ahead and take the wallet from his pocket and get going. 47:39.000 --> 47:39.876 From his pocket? 47:39.960 --> 47:40.960 Yeah! 47:42.960 --> 47:48.252 I am sorry, that just seems wrong. I'm not going to do that. 47:48.624 --> 47:51.624 You fucking will! 47:51.960 --> 47:54.624 - Go ahead - It's okay. 47:54.708 --> 47:57.416 - (Pizza man coughs) - It's alright. 47:57.460 --> 48:00.460 (Music) 48:06.124 --> 48:08.124 (Pizza man clears throat) 48:14.708 --> 48:17.752 - Easy... - (Ira chuckles) 48:18.084 --> 48:20.000 There's nothing in here. 48:20.084 --> 48:26.708 Did you check the pizzas? Made sure there's no garlic, onion, ginger? 48:27.960 --> 48:31.040 Yeah, the meat feast doesn't have onion or garlic. 48:31.124 --> 48:32.124 What? 48:32.208 --> 48:33.000 There's nothing in here. 48:33.084 --> 48:35.500 The other pocket. The meat-feast is without onion? 48:35.540 --> 48:37.084 And the Vegetariana? 48:37.168 --> 48:39.752 Well, I suppose that has onions. 48:41.124 --> 48:43.376 Well, there's no wallet. 48:43.416 --> 48:44.960 Vegetaraiana with onions... 48:45.040 --> 48:46.752 but it feels like a key. 48:46.960 --> 48:48.792 (Basuki Mumbles) Onions - Hey! 48:48.832 --> 48:50.292 Leave him. 48:51.252 --> 48:54.832 We don't want your pizzas, take them back. 48:55.960 --> 48:56.876 I'm sorry sir. 48:56.960 --> 48:58.208 We don't accept returns. 48:58.292 --> 49:00.084 Take them back, I said! 49:00.168 --> 49:04.168 Listen, you keep it or you throw it, you still got to pay. 49:04.332 --> 49:05.376 I want to speak to your manager! 49:05.624 --> 49:06.332 No! 49:06.376 --> 49:08.124 - Excuse me? - I am the manager. 49:08.208 --> 49:10.168 Mr. Manager, take them away! 49:10.252 --> 49:12.168 - Baba, I'm hungry. - But you still got to pay sir. 49:13.208 --> 49:14.460 Bullshit! 49:14.668 --> 49:19.208 Listen, mate. We don't want your fucking pizzas! Get the hell out of here! 49:19.376 --> 49:21.460 Or I'll tie you up as well. 49:21.752 --> 49:22.916 Let's play! 49:25.876 --> 49:27.376 Alright then... 49:28.084 --> 49:30.084 (Pizza man clears his throat) 49:31.000 --> 49:32.752 Wait, wait, wait! 49:33.084 --> 49:36.000 What did you say you found in my pocket? 49:37.084 --> 49:38.292 There's no money in it! 49:38.376 --> 49:41.000 Yeah, but what did you find? 49:41.292 --> 49:42.584 A fucking key, bruv! 49:42.792 --> 49:43.960 Thank you very much. 49:44.000 --> 49:47.292 What are you waiting for? Fucking leave now! 49:48.168 --> 49:49.916 - Bye. - Yeah, enough! 49:50.208 --> 49:52.460 Fuck's sake, fucking weirdos. 49:52.624 --> 49:55.624 Fucking brownies. 49:56.960 --> 49:59.332 Shut the door! 50:02.460 --> 50:03.832 Onions... 50:08.124 --> 50:13.124 Do you not want to look inside the trunk now, doctor? 50:15.540 --> 50:16.916 Hello? 50:18.040 --> 50:19.960 You heard him, right? 50:20.416 --> 50:22.084 I have the key. 50:23.000 --> 50:24.376 The key... 50:26.460 --> 50:29.460 (Music) 51:17.876 --> 51:20.460 Happy now? 51:20.752 --> 51:23.752 I told you it was a joke. 51:24.752 --> 51:27.752 I am untying them. 51:45.752 --> 51:48.708 Thank you. 51:49.916 --> 51:51.876 I - 51:52.040 --> 51:54.124 And the knock I heard... 51:54.332 --> 51:59.460 I told you that your ears were ringing, now you get it? 52:03.332 --> 52:07.124 I feel terrible for what I did to you. 52:09.168 --> 52:13.960 If you want to apologise to someone, apologise to your wife! 52:14.540 --> 52:16.416 You really hurt her. 52:16.624 --> 52:18.960 He won't understand. 52:19.332 --> 52:22.084 It was all a joke. 52:22.168 --> 52:24.500 I hope you understand now. 52:24.540 --> 52:29.540 Even what Ira said about Lord Curzon, all of it. 52:41.000 --> 52:43.916 Does Lord Curzon even exist? 52:43.960 --> 52:45.876 (Rohit scoffs) 52:46.084 --> 52:50.916 I told you guys, he doesn't understand what a joke is. 52:51.624 --> 52:54.540 Basuki, you're really lucky. 52:57.460 --> 53:00.460 Thank your stars; If I you were married to someone like me instead of Ira... 53:00.500 --> 53:03.832 you'd be in the trunk right now. 53:04.624 --> 53:06.668 All is under control doctor. 53:06.708 --> 53:08.292 Will you have a drink now? 53:08.376 --> 53:10.624 I will drink. No matter who says what! 53:10.668 --> 53:11.460 Good! 53:11.500 --> 53:12.752 I like to drink. 53:12.792 --> 53:13.876 I used to drink before I got married, 53:13.916 --> 53:15.292 and after without telling you. 53:15.376 --> 53:18.376 Now I am drinking in your face. Cheers! 53:20.540 --> 53:23.460 Have a drink doctor. You will feel better. 53:24.416 --> 53:28.040 Just a plain and simple orange juice, please. 53:28.208 --> 53:29.876 Listen don't act, you drink and I know it. 53:29.916 --> 53:32.124 There are days when I can smell it off you. 53:32.168 --> 53:36.584 Oh, wow. You are the joker in the pack, doctor! 53:36.960 --> 53:40.792 Have a drink, else Lord Curzon will really turn up. 53:40.832 --> 53:43.376 Not again Rohit. No more Curzon jokes. 53:43.460 --> 53:44.832 Okay, okay. 53:45.500 --> 53:47.124 (Basuki clears throat) 53:53.124 --> 53:54.584 Okay... 53:55.376 --> 53:57.752 Get me a small one. 53:59.540 --> 54:01.124 Irish Whiskey! 54:01.376 --> 54:03.000 Now we're talking. 54:03.208 --> 54:06.208 - "We don't drink" - (Rohit chuckles) 54:06.292 --> 54:11.752 By the way, now you're starting to seem a half-English to me. 54:28.292 --> 54:31.292 (Piano key) 54:33.832 --> 54:36.832 (Rohit winces) 54:44.252 --> 54:48.252 - Are you okay? - Yes, just check it once. 54:50.668 --> 54:53.668 Yes, now it's fine. 55:05.252 --> 55:09.460 (Grandfather clock chimes) 55:11.416 --> 55:15.708 Here is your classical English breakfast. 55:15.752 --> 55:18.040 Thank you so much! 55:18.252 --> 55:21.252 And I am very sorry about my behaviour. 55:33.540 --> 55:36.416 Ah, this is actually comfortable. 55:36.460 --> 55:39.252 Thank you. 55:40.252 --> 55:42.084 I have hypertension! 55:42.168 --> 55:45.668 And that's why I, sometimes, find it difficult to keep my anger in check. 55:45.708 --> 55:46.916 Hmm. 55:47.000 --> 55:49.960 Wow doctor, you just diagnosed yourself! 55:50.584 --> 55:52.876 Very good. 55:53.540 --> 55:55.460 It started in my childhood. 55:55.584 --> 55:59.460 Oh, why didn't you tell us before? 56:04.040 --> 56:07.292 I was trapped inside a container for weeks! 56:07.416 --> 56:08.752 A container? 56:08.832 --> 56:14.252 - No kidding. - No, no, he is not kidding. 56:17.668 --> 56:20.668 I couldn't breathe! 56:21.624 --> 56:23.960 I don't know how I survived... 56:24.084 --> 56:29.540 Hmm, but how did you get inside a container? 56:36.792 --> 56:38.708 I travelled in a container... 56:38.752 --> 56:40.292 To reach here. 56:46.292 --> 56:51.332 This country saved my parents, gave them a new life, a new opportunity. 56:54.040 --> 56:57.376 What did independent India have to offer them? 56:57.460 --> 57:01.252 Hunger, poverty, maybe corruption, oppression! 57:01.332 --> 57:03.624 Oh Basuki, don't start harping about your England 57:03.668 --> 57:05.792 and how great a country it is. 57:06.584 --> 57:11.000 I am whatever I am today - it's because of this country. 57:11.040 --> 57:12.792 I would have had no future in India! 57:12.832 --> 57:17.084 And that's why I try my best to be of any service to my country. 57:17.292 --> 57:19.792 My country, my foot! He calls England his country. 57:19.960 --> 57:22.292 Yes, it's my country and these are my people. 57:22.376 --> 57:23.752 My people? 57:24.040 --> 57:26.916 (Piano key) 57:26.960 --> 57:30.460 Do they think of you as one of them? 57:35.916 --> 57:37.916 Of course! 57:38.168 --> 57:41.208 I'm as much British as everybody else. 57:41.376 --> 57:43.124 Oh really? 57:48.540 --> 57:51.540 Have you heard his accent? 57:59.084 --> 58:00.708 How silly of me, 58:00.752 --> 58:02.916 I'm just going on and on about myself. 58:02.960 --> 58:03.876 Of course. 58:03.960 --> 58:05.832 I hardly know you guys! 58:05.916 --> 58:09.584 What's your story? How did you come to the UK? 58:09.624 --> 58:11.708 (Telephone rings) 58:12.292 --> 58:15.292 I will take that. 58:17.584 --> 58:20.000 (Piano key) 58:20.752 --> 58:23.752 Coming, coming. 58:23.916 --> 58:24.500 Hello. 58:24.584 --> 58:26.832 Hello Henry? Who is this? 58:27.124 --> 58:28.000 Hello! 58:28.084 --> 58:32.000 I want to talk to my husband Henry. Can you please put him on the line? 58:32.084 --> 58:33.624 Sorry, wrong number! 58:33.668 --> 58:35.916 Wrong number? What do you mean? 58:36.084 --> 58:39.376 Listen, that's my summer home and I want to talk to my husband Henry. 58:39.460 --> 58:41.960 Get Henry on the phone now! 58:42.000 --> 58:43.416 One minute... 58:43.460 --> 58:46.460 Does anyone know a Henry? 58:54.960 --> 58:58.084 Sorry, Henry is not here at the moment! 58:58.416 --> 59:00.084 What do you mean he's not there? 59:00.168 --> 59:03.376 He went there this morning this morning to get things fixed for tomorrow. And then- 59:03.460 --> 59:05.084 - Who are you? - I... 59:05.168 --> 59:06.792 And what are you doing in my summer home? 59:06.832 --> 59:08.332 Making a drink! 59:08.584 --> 59:11.208 Making a drink in my house? What do you mean? 59:11.460 --> 59:13.624 Listen, where is Henry, I need to talk to him - 59:13.792 --> 59:15.876 Sorry, wrong number. Long live the Queen. 59:15.916 --> 59:17.832 (Hangs up) 59:18.416 --> 59:19.832 Old hag! 59:20.500 --> 59:23.416 (Piano key) 59:25.916 --> 59:29.500 Some mad lady, lost her husband it seems. 59:29.540 --> 59:31.208 She must have not kept him carefully. 59:31.252 --> 59:34.208 (Piano key) 59:38.040 --> 59:39.252 What was the husband's name? 59:39.332 --> 59:40.708 (Piano key) 59:40.792 --> 59:42.460 Lord Curzon! 59:42.624 --> 59:44.084 Come on Rohit! 59:45.084 --> 59:47.584 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 59:48.500 --> 59:51.500 You were asking, doctor? 59:54.460 --> 59:57.124 How did you come here? 59:57.292 --> 01:00:00.168 I had a job. 01:00:00.376 --> 01:00:01.084 Oh really? 01:00:01.252 --> 01:00:02.960 Yes, doctor. 01:00:03.832 --> 01:00:06.168 Do you know about the National Health System (NHS)? 01:00:06.252 --> 01:00:08.252 Of course! I'm a doctor. 01:00:08.376 --> 01:00:10.332 I made it. 01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:13.584 The whole software, right from the sketch. 01:00:13.624 --> 01:00:17.752 I was in the core architecture design team of the system. 01:00:17.792 --> 01:00:19.876 It's quite good. 01:00:19.916 --> 01:00:21.040 I use it everyday. 01:00:23.460 --> 01:00:25.292 What happened then? 01:00:26.208 --> 01:00:27.668 I left my job. 01:00:27.708 --> 01:00:29.000 Why? 01:00:30.252 --> 01:00:33.208 I thought I'd start my own company... 01:00:33.292 --> 01:00:36.084 Do something big in life. 01:00:36.292 --> 01:00:37.208 That's ambitious. 01:00:37.292 --> 01:00:38.124 Hmm, I know. 01:00:40.084 --> 01:00:41.584 Then? 01:00:42.124 --> 01:00:45.040 I applied for a visa extension. 01:00:45.540 --> 01:00:48.540 Nothing happened for two years. 01:00:49.040 --> 01:00:53.960 I kept working, hoping I would get it one day. 01:00:55.168 --> 01:00:58.040 I got the letter one day... 01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:01.376 Visa rejected. 01:01:02.040 --> 01:01:02.708 Rejected? 01:01:02.792 --> 01:01:04.792 Yes, rejected! 01:01:05.540 --> 01:01:08.540 Section 322-5. 01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:12.500 Wait, that's for... 01:01:12.584 --> 01:01:17.500 Don't get scared doctor, I am not a terrorist. 01:01:21.208 --> 01:01:24.668 I worked for these Englishmen for so many years. 01:01:25.124 --> 01:01:28.332 This one time, I could not do my tax returns on time. 01:01:28.416 --> 01:01:31.416 I was charged with 322-5. 01:01:33.376 --> 01:01:36.460 Does that make me a terrorist? 01:01:37.668 --> 01:01:39.916 It's not like India here. 01:01:39.960 --> 01:01:42.960 Everyone needs to do things on time here. 01:01:43.168 --> 01:01:46.332 If you don't reach office on time tomorrow, 01:01:46.500 --> 01:01:48.416 would you be called a terrorist then? 01:01:48.916 --> 01:01:50.208 I'm never late! 01:01:50.460 --> 01:01:53.460 (Rohit sighs) 01:01:55.708 --> 01:01:58.500 (Music) 01:02:05.332 --> 01:02:08.332 So, how do you live here? 01:02:09.292 --> 01:02:11.460 I don't. 01:02:13.376 --> 01:02:15.584 What do you mean? 01:02:21.540 --> 01:02:25.584 Are you an illegal immigrant? 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:32.000 - (Rohit chuckles) - (Music) 01:02:42.960 --> 01:02:45.960 Did you know about this? 01:02:49.252 --> 01:02:52.252 Your friends are illegal immigrants. 01:02:52.960 --> 01:02:55.460 Weren't your parents also... 01:02:55.500 --> 01:02:57.916 illegal immigrants? 01:02:57.960 --> 01:02:58.792 So what? 01:02:58.832 --> 01:03:00.752 I might lose my job! This is not a joke. 01:03:00.792 --> 01:03:02.500 Do you even know the meaning of a joke? 01:03:02.540 --> 01:03:03.668 "Not a joke." 01:03:03.876 --> 01:03:06.332 Okay, don't start fighting again. 01:03:06.416 --> 01:03:10.416 This is my house, you are my guests... 01:03:10.668 --> 01:03:11.832 And you never met Rohit. 01:03:11.876 --> 01:03:14.208 Yes! You never met me. 01:03:19.416 --> 01:03:22.416 Doctor, one more drink? 01:03:26.708 --> 01:03:29.708 Listen, if you have any more surprises, please tell me now. 01:03:29.752 --> 01:03:32.208 I don't want to get into any trouble later on. 01:03:32.460 --> 01:03:35.960 I don't get you, Basuki... 01:03:36.040 --> 01:03:39.124 You love this country very much... 01:03:40.084 --> 01:03:45.168 So why did you have to go to India to get a wife? 01:03:46.376 --> 01:03:48.460 He wasn't able to charm a white woman. 01:03:48.500 --> 01:03:50.252 Must have tried for sure. 01:03:50.332 --> 01:03:51.708 Did you not? 01:03:52.416 --> 01:03:53.500 Aw. 01:03:56.500 --> 01:03:59.540 I choose not to discuss my private life. 01:03:59.584 --> 01:04:02.292 You never want to discuss anything. 01:04:02.376 --> 01:04:05.084 I don't know if he had a story or not. 01:04:05.168 --> 01:04:06.208 I surely had one! 01:04:06.292 --> 01:04:07.668 Really? 01:04:08.208 --> 01:04:09.584 Here in the UK? 01:04:09.624 --> 01:04:12.040 In Bhatinda (India). In my college. 01:04:12.124 --> 01:04:15.960 Full on 'Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam'. (Trajic Bollywood Romantic film) 01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:19.252 But my romance was like DDLJ. (A happy Bollywood Love story) 01:04:19.332 --> 01:04:20.376 Wow. 01:04:20.584 --> 01:04:21.752 Only my father didn't say - Go Simran, 01:04:21.792 --> 01:04:24.752 live the life of your dreams! (Iconic Bollywood dialogue) 01:04:24.792 --> 01:04:28.168 And the guy didn't come to the Railway station to run away with me either. 01:04:30.708 --> 01:04:31.624 Liar. 01:04:37.960 --> 01:04:42.960 He had asked me about my past before we got married. 01:04:43.292 --> 01:04:46.252 What was I supposed to say? 01:04:46.752 --> 01:04:49.832 Had I told you the truth, would you or your family agree to the marriage? 01:04:49.876 --> 01:04:53.332 Remember that ad you gave in the newspaper? 01:04:53.416 --> 01:04:57.252 A famous doctor, who lives in London, is looking for a Punjabi (North Indian) wife. 01:04:57.332 --> 01:04:59.416 A Punjabi wife. Wow! 01:04:59.460 --> 01:05:01.960 Don't applaud just yet, listen to the entire ad first... 01:05:02.040 --> 01:05:03.292 You still remember? 01:05:03.376 --> 01:05:05.332 Every bit of it, line by line. 01:05:05.416 --> 01:05:08.124 That ad completely changed my life. 01:05:08.416 --> 01:05:12.332 Fair, Convent-educated, English speaking, 01:05:12.416 --> 01:05:15.292 Punjabi girl with beautiful hair. 01:05:15.376 --> 01:05:18.876 Who doesn't smoke, drink, or consume any kind of drug. 01:05:18.960 --> 01:05:22.584 And someone who has had no relationship with any man. 01:05:22.624 --> 01:05:24.332 Meaning virgin? 01:05:24.416 --> 01:05:25.460 Pure! 01:05:25.752 --> 01:05:27.000 (Sanya scoffs) 01:05:27.540 --> 01:05:29.168 Poor Basuki! 01:05:29.332 --> 01:05:30.960 There was a mad rush in Bhatinda when he came bride hunting! 01:05:31.040 --> 01:05:33.332 He had booked the whole hotel. 01:05:33.416 --> 01:05:36.208 As if, Indian idol's auditions were going on. 01:05:36.292 --> 01:05:40.084 Of course, it isn't some ordinary title, Mrs. Basuki Nath. 01:05:40.168 --> 01:05:41.000 Not at all! 01:05:41.084 --> 01:05:46.168 Ask my parents, they think it's the biggest achievement of my life. 01:05:51.500 --> 01:05:54.500 Mrs. Basuki Nath! 01:05:56.752 --> 01:05:58.792 Do you love him? 01:06:04.252 --> 01:06:06.332 Does it even matter? 01:06:08.460 --> 01:06:10.292 Do you? 01:06:14.752 --> 01:06:19.752 I love him as much as he loves the great Britain! 01:06:27.376 --> 01:06:30.376 That calls for another peg, Doctor! 01:06:33.084 --> 01:06:34.460 Yes, please. 01:06:34.540 --> 01:06:36.208 - Make me large one. - (Music) 01:06:36.416 --> 01:06:37.792 Sure. 01:06:42.624 --> 01:06:45.540 So, how do you know my virgin wife? 01:06:46.668 --> 01:06:48.208 Well... 01:06:49.460 --> 01:06:52.084 We've had a few drinks together. 01:06:52.252 --> 01:06:54.876 - Cheers. - Thanks mate! 01:07:07.252 --> 01:07:12.252 Here comes the cocktail of the day "Relationship goals"! 01:07:13.876 --> 01:07:15.584 Wow. 01:07:20.084 --> 01:07:21.292 Nice. 01:07:21.708 --> 01:07:23.832 What will you eat? 01:07:24.584 --> 01:07:27.708 Not fish and chips for sure! 01:07:28.960 --> 01:07:31.040 Something new. 01:07:31.624 --> 01:07:35.876 There's nothing left on the menu. You have tried everything. 01:07:37.460 --> 01:07:40.252 Would you like something special? 01:07:44.540 --> 01:07:46.752 Come with me. 01:07:57.752 --> 01:08:00.752 Doesn't he take you out? 01:08:01.332 --> 01:08:02.668 He is mostly busy. 01:08:02.708 --> 01:08:06.376 If he misses work even for a day, lots of lives can be lost. 01:08:06.540 --> 01:08:07.960 And what about your life? 01:08:08.252 --> 01:08:11.084 He has saved my life already, by marrying me. 01:08:11.416 --> 01:08:13.792 Now he is saving others. 01:08:14.416 --> 01:08:16.584 I really want to meet him. 01:08:17.084 --> 01:08:19.916 - I've told Rohit about him. - Hmm. 01:08:20.084 --> 01:08:22.960 Rohit will have fun meeting him. 01:08:24.040 --> 01:08:25.416 He will never come. 01:08:25.460 --> 01:08:28.168 I really want to meet Rohit. 01:08:28.708 --> 01:08:31.540 Come on, we all will have fun! 01:08:32.124 --> 01:08:34.332 Told you, he is busy. 01:08:34.624 --> 01:08:39.460 If he misses work for a day, a bunch of Brits will find their way to heaven. 01:08:40.376 --> 01:08:42.752 Why not saturday? 01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:46.832 God might agree to this, but he won't. 01:08:47.208 --> 01:08:49.916 Should I cut some more coriander? 01:08:51.416 --> 01:08:53.960 Tell him your friend's a famous actress. 01:08:54.208 --> 01:08:55.668 Tell him about my films. 01:08:57.376 --> 01:09:02.292 Tell him I've invited you to my summer house. 01:09:11.624 --> 01:09:13.752 - You lied. - (Music) 01:09:14.332 --> 01:09:17.252 One more lie. 01:09:18.916 --> 01:09:21.916 You said, your friend is an actress? 01:09:22.084 --> 01:09:24.540 Yes, I am an actor! 01:09:25.460 --> 01:09:27.540 An actress-waitress or waitress-actress? 01:09:27.584 --> 01:09:29.960 Basu, come on! She works as a waitress part time. 01:09:30.040 --> 01:09:31.168 Really? 01:09:31.252 --> 01:09:33.916 Will Kate Winslet ever work as a 'part time' waitress? 01:09:34.332 --> 01:09:36.960 I'm no Kate Winslet! 01:09:37.708 --> 01:09:39.416 Why don't you just accept that you aren't an actress in the first place? 01:09:39.460 --> 01:09:41.252 No, I am an actor. 01:09:41.332 --> 01:09:42.124 Oh! 01:09:42.416 --> 01:09:43.916 I'm a failed actor. 01:09:44.208 --> 01:09:45.040 How humble! 01:09:45.124 --> 01:09:46.416 No, it's true. 01:09:47.040 --> 01:09:49.292 I'm a failed actor. 01:09:49.876 --> 01:09:51.752 I should have cross-checked better. 01:09:52.124 --> 01:09:53.168 Stop Basuki. 01:09:53.292 --> 01:09:56.416 No, let him speak. 01:09:57.500 --> 01:10:01.960 The problem is; you bloody Indians think, you can come here and do anything! 01:10:02.752 --> 01:10:03.584 You know? 01:10:03.624 --> 01:10:05.832 It will be a cake walk. 01:10:06.332 --> 01:10:08.792 But you need talent to succeed here. 01:10:08.832 --> 01:10:12.500 - I agree. - You can't ever compete with the British. 01:10:12.540 --> 01:10:14.124 Their standards are very very high. 01:10:14.208 --> 01:10:16.208 Very, very high. 01:10:16.668 --> 01:10:20.168 How silly - you thought you could compete with the English actresses. 01:10:20.460 --> 01:10:25.500 How did you compete with the English Doctors? 01:10:26.792 --> 01:10:28.624 I worked hard. 01:10:28.668 --> 01:10:29.876 I've educated myself. 01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:32.916 I got the best medical education in the whole world. 01:10:33.168 --> 01:10:35.084 So did I! 01:10:35.708 --> 01:10:38.960 I went to the best drama school, in the world. 01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:42.708 I was the crème da la crème at RADA. 01:10:43.500 --> 01:10:44.668 RADA? 01:10:44.708 --> 01:10:48.500 Royal academy of dramatic art! 01:10:53.584 --> 01:10:55.708 Hm. Probably you don't have it in you. 01:10:55.916 --> 01:10:57.960 Maybe I don't. 01:10:58.332 --> 01:11:00.292 - You see! - I know 01:11:00.916 --> 01:11:03.624 Yeah... You don't have their talent! 01:11:04.708 --> 01:11:06.084 Or their fair skin? 01:11:06.168 --> 01:11:07.792 Huh. Bollocks! 01:11:07.832 --> 01:11:10.416 How many brown characters do you see in English films? 01:11:10.460 --> 01:11:12.168 I told you, I don't watch films. 01:11:12.252 --> 01:11:13.168 Enough Basu! 01:11:13.252 --> 01:11:16.916 No, Ira, you tell me - have I ever been discriminated against 01:11:16.960 --> 01:11:18.960 because of my skin colour? 01:11:20.540 --> 01:11:23.584 England is a fair country! 01:11:23.960 --> 01:11:25.624 How true! 01:11:26.252 --> 01:11:29.876 England is a very-very "fair" country! 01:11:30.376 --> 01:11:31.708 Correct. 01:11:32.416 --> 01:11:33.624 Hmm... 01:11:34.252 --> 01:11:37.916 If you love this fair country so much, 01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:42.540 why did you go to India to find a wife? 01:11:43.332 --> 01:11:46.584 Convent-educated, English speaking 01:11:46.624 --> 01:11:47.708 FAIR! 01:11:48.168 --> 01:11:51.376 Who hasn't had any previous relationships with any man! 01:11:51.460 --> 01:11:53.252 (Ira laughs) 01:11:55.584 --> 01:11:57.208 (Knocking sound) 01:11:57.460 --> 01:11:59.500 - (Bell ringing sound) - Ah, Lord Curzon! 01:11:59.540 --> 01:12:00.624 (Music) 01:12:00.752 --> 01:12:02.332 Stop joking. 01:12:02.668 --> 01:12:05.832 Go and check who's there. 01:12:08.752 --> 01:12:09.916 Her Majesty's Pizza! 01:12:09.960 --> 01:12:11.084 Hey... 01:12:11.540 --> 01:12:13.792 I didn't think you're going to come back. 01:12:14.040 --> 01:12:15.460 I had to! 01:12:15.832 --> 01:12:17.916 Okay... how much is it? 01:12:17.960 --> 01:12:20.040 Well, actually, it's complementary. 01:12:20.124 --> 01:12:22.252 I checked, and we messed up your order. 01:12:22.416 --> 01:12:24.708 Oh, how sweet. Come on in! 01:12:25.040 --> 01:12:26.832 Come in, come in. Get in here. 01:12:26.876 --> 01:12:28.540 Come, come, come. 01:12:28.832 --> 01:12:31.460 Shut the door behind you please. 01:12:34.084 --> 01:12:38.208 Ladies and gentlemen, guess what - Free pizza is here! 01:12:38.416 --> 01:12:39.708 Free? 01:12:40.832 --> 01:12:42.960 I'll take that. 01:12:44.000 --> 01:12:46.292 Free. 01:12:46.752 --> 01:12:51.208 - Free pizza is a different kind of satisfaction! - (Rohit clears throat) 01:13:02.168 --> 01:13:05.000 Rohit, why is he still here? 01:13:07.376 --> 01:13:08.876 You want a drink mate? 01:13:08.916 --> 01:13:10.916 No, no, I just need Henry's signature. 01:13:10.960 --> 01:13:13.668 Oh, okay, sure! 01:13:15.292 --> 01:13:16.876 Thank you. 01:13:18.832 --> 01:13:20.500 (Pizza man clears throat) 01:13:21.332 --> 01:13:24.752 I apologize on behalf of Her Majesty's Pizza. 01:13:24.792 --> 01:13:26.416 We messed up your order. 01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:29.460 Mr. Henry is our gold card member. 01:13:29.624 --> 01:13:31.876 I just need him to sign this slip. 01:13:32.292 --> 01:13:34.000 Henry? 01:13:34.916 --> 01:13:35.916 Henry! 01:13:36.460 --> 01:13:41.084 Could you please sign his slip so he can leave? 01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:45.624 He isn't Henry! 01:13:45.668 --> 01:13:46.668 He is! 01:13:47.252 --> 01:13:49.040 No, he isn't! 01:13:49.668 --> 01:13:51.460 How do you know? 01:13:51.500 --> 01:13:53.708 Have you met him before? 01:13:53.832 --> 01:13:57.332 Well no, I haven't, but I have a fair idea what he looks like. 01:13:57.460 --> 01:14:00.416 And, why doesn't he look like Henry? 01:14:02.252 --> 01:14:04.084 Because... Henry doesn't look like him! 01:14:04.168 --> 01:14:05.916 That's poetic! 01:14:06.252 --> 01:14:08.000 Listen, I just need the signature. 01:14:08.168 --> 01:14:11.084 Or else, I'll need the pizzas back. 01:14:12.376 --> 01:14:14.168 Well, take them back! 01:14:14.876 --> 01:14:16.460 Now I can't, can I? 01:14:16.500 --> 01:14:17.876 Then, get Henry's signature. 01:14:17.916 --> 01:14:18.960 But he isn't Henry! 01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:19.960 Why? 01:14:20.124 --> 01:14:24.000 Because by any stretch of the imagination, he doesn't look like him! 01:14:24.084 --> 01:14:25.168 Why? 01:14:25.332 --> 01:14:27.084 Because Henry is a bloody Brit! 01:14:27.168 --> 01:14:28.208 And this man isn't? 01:14:28.292 --> 01:14:29.540 No! 01:14:30.376 --> 01:14:30.960 Why? 01:14:31.040 --> 01:14:33.208 Because he's Asian. 01:14:38.040 --> 01:14:39.832 You see Basuki! 01:14:40.416 --> 01:14:42.792 This man doesn't think you're British. 01:14:43.460 --> 01:14:45.960 He thinks you're Asian. 01:14:49.416 --> 01:14:51.208 (Music) 01:14:52.292 --> 01:14:54.292 Give me the bloody slip! 01:14:54.540 --> 01:14:56.832 I am British! 01:14:57.252 --> 01:14:58.500 You racist pig! 01:14:58.540 --> 01:15:01.252 This gentleman is a true Brit! 01:15:10.208 --> 01:15:12.292 (Music) 01:15:18.292 --> 01:15:21.876 So Henry is Curzon! 01:15:29.916 --> 01:15:32.916 Henry is Lord Curzon? 01:15:34.168 --> 01:15:37.040 See... He isn't Henry! 01:15:37.416 --> 01:15:39.416 I knew that! 01:15:42.292 --> 01:15:44.168 Where is he? 01:15:45.252 --> 01:15:48.252 What did you do to him? 01:15:49.832 --> 01:15:51.168 Wait, hold on! 01:15:51.332 --> 01:15:53.332 You don't even know who Henry is? 01:15:53.668 --> 01:15:55.960 Who are you people? 01:16:03.876 --> 01:16:06.208 Didn't his wife just call, Ira? 01:16:07.292 --> 01:16:09.500 The old hag with the memory loss? 01:16:10.292 --> 01:16:11.752 Listen! 01:16:12.208 --> 01:16:15.376 I need you all to tell me who you are... 01:16:15.460 --> 01:16:17.168 And how you got in here. 01:16:17.540 --> 01:16:20.084 Otherwise, I'm going to go call the police! 01:16:20.376 --> 01:16:22.332 (Music) 01:16:25.168 --> 01:16:26.876 I'm going to go right now! 01:16:26.916 --> 01:16:29.460 To call the police, yeah? 01:16:42.168 --> 01:16:43.876 Listen, 01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:47.668 I don't care who you are 01:16:48.084 --> 01:16:50.416 or what you do... 01:16:50.832 --> 01:16:53.332 I don't even need the signature! 01:16:53.792 --> 01:16:56.876 I'll explain everything to the boss. 01:16:57.124 --> 01:16:59.084 Didn't you say you were the boss? 01:16:59.208 --> 01:17:01.252 Rohit! What the hell is going on? 01:17:01.332 --> 01:17:02.500 I want to know the truth! 01:17:02.540 --> 01:17:06.332 We're just playing a game, Basuki. 01:17:06.624 --> 01:17:10.708 - Fun, fun, fun, fun. Fun. - No, I'm not interested in any games. 01:17:11.084 --> 01:17:12.332 Do you want to play a game? 01:17:12.416 --> 01:17:16.752 Listen - Please, please just let me go! 01:17:17.124 --> 01:17:19.960 I've got pizzas to deliver, and no one likes them cold! 01:17:20.040 --> 01:17:21.124 But you're a part of the game now! 01:17:21.208 --> 01:17:23.832 - What game? - Is Lord Curzon dead or alive? 01:17:23.916 --> 01:17:26.376 That sounds like a great game! 01:17:26.416 --> 01:17:29.540 Come on Basuki! You've already checked the trunk. 01:17:29.584 --> 01:17:31.376 Let's not start this again. 01:17:31.460 --> 01:17:33.000 I told you he doesn't get jokes. 01:17:33.084 --> 01:17:34.668 Why am I being held up? 01:17:34.708 --> 01:17:36.584 Just play a game with us - then you can leave. 01:17:36.624 --> 01:17:38.208 Play what? 01:17:38.460 --> 01:17:42.000 - Let's play truth or dare, okay? - I'll lose my job. 01:17:42.084 --> 01:17:47.084 Just one round, just one game, then you may leave. 01:17:47.460 --> 01:17:48.960 You are out of your fucking minds, yeah? 01:17:49.000 --> 01:17:50.084 I'm just gonna leave, yeah? 01:17:50.168 --> 01:17:51.376 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... (Rohit pushes him down) 01:17:51.460 --> 01:17:52.792 Where are your manners, huh? 01:17:54.416 --> 01:17:57.752 When a lady asks you to do something, you got to do it! 01:17:57.792 --> 01:17:58.876 You got to do it! 01:17:58.916 --> 01:18:00.752 To hell with manners! 01:18:01.376 --> 01:18:04.040 Be a gentleman! 01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:15.752 Do you know how to play, Basuki? 01:18:15.832 --> 01:18:18.000 He doesn't even know how to play Ludo. 01:18:18.040 --> 01:18:19.168 Okay! 01:18:19.208 --> 01:18:22.000 It's very simple. You see... 01:18:22.040 --> 01:18:26.624 It's fairly easy, hmm? You take this bottle... 01:18:27.292 --> 01:18:29.960 And you spin! 01:18:32.332 --> 01:18:35.332 So, now you ask me. 01:18:36.876 --> 01:18:39.252 Ask what? 01:18:39.668 --> 01:18:41.916 Say truth or dare. 01:18:42.500 --> 01:18:44.040 I say, truth or dare? 01:18:44.084 --> 01:18:47.084 Yeah, yeah. You're doing good Basuki. 01:18:48.168 --> 01:18:50.416 - Am I? - Yes. 01:18:52.500 --> 01:18:54.332 I choose truth. 01:18:54.540 --> 01:18:56.252 Bloody liar! 01:18:56.292 --> 01:18:57.832 Ask me anything. 01:18:58.168 --> 01:19:00.584 And, you'll see I never lie. 01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:09.332 Who the hell is Lord Curzon? 01:19:09.584 --> 01:19:11.584 I knew you would ask me this. 01:19:11.752 --> 01:19:12.460 No lies! 01:19:12.540 --> 01:19:14.832 No never, nothing but the truth! 01:19:15.040 --> 01:19:16.960 Okay, good, tell me. 01:19:18.832 --> 01:19:21.460 He is no lord. 01:19:23.332 --> 01:19:26.708 We just called him Lord as a joke. 01:19:30.876 --> 01:19:34.252 He was a miserable old man, 01:19:35.832 --> 01:19:38.460 slightly delusional though. 01:19:38.876 --> 01:19:42.416 He thought he believed in equality. 01:19:42.960 --> 01:19:46.584 But was actually a racist pig! 01:19:48.584 --> 01:19:52.708 He, thought he was superior to others. 01:19:53.376 --> 01:19:56.624 But was actually fucking miserable. 01:19:58.040 --> 01:19:59.376 He thought... 01:20:00.040 --> 01:20:02.916 That he could destroy my life... 01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:06.584 Kill my dreams. 01:20:06.752 --> 01:20:09.668 He thought he could send me back! 01:20:18.084 --> 01:20:21.084 But, I'm still here. 01:20:24.540 --> 01:20:26.416 I've won! 01:20:26.624 --> 01:20:28.332 You see? 01:20:28.584 --> 01:20:31.376 Did he work in the home (VISA) office? 01:20:31.584 --> 01:20:34.460 Henry Curzon - 01:20:35.668 --> 01:20:38.540 This is his house. 01:20:39.332 --> 01:20:42.208 The sofa's his as well. 01:20:42.460 --> 01:20:47.208 The drinks you had - the Irish whisky you had - also his. 01:20:48.460 --> 01:20:50.040 But where is he? 01:20:50.208 --> 01:20:51.584 Hmmm... 01:20:52.584 --> 01:20:57.416 Only one question, that's the rule of the game. 01:20:58.208 --> 01:21:03.168 And I have answered that question truthfully. 01:21:05.540 --> 01:21:07.292 Your turn babe! 01:21:07.460 --> 01:21:10.584 (Music) 01:21:22.916 --> 01:21:26.040 Truth or dare? 01:21:30.540 --> 01:21:32.500 Truth. 01:21:35.584 --> 01:21:39.792 Do you think... a brown-skinned person 01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:42.416 could ever truly be English? 01:21:47.916 --> 01:21:49.040 I pass. 01:21:49.252 --> 01:21:52.040 You can't. Rules of the game. 01:21:55.252 --> 01:21:58.084 Ask me anything else. 01:21:58.876 --> 01:22:01.708 Do you think anyone in this room... 01:22:01.752 --> 01:22:04.708 Could ever truly be Brit? 01:22:05.916 --> 01:22:09.500 (Heavy wind) 01:22:19.168 --> 01:22:20.752 Your turn. 01:22:30.960 --> 01:22:32.752 Dare. 01:22:33.960 --> 01:22:36.668 Truth or dare? 01:22:38.668 --> 01:22:39.876 Truth. 01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:41.208 Where is Henry? 01:22:41.252 --> 01:22:42.752 In his house. 01:22:42.876 --> 01:22:44.124 You mean this house? 01:22:44.252 --> 01:22:49.124 That's another question but yes, in this very house. 01:22:56.332 --> 01:22:57.916 Then why don't I see him? 01:22:58.376 --> 01:23:00.960 That's another-another question! 01:23:01.916 --> 01:23:04.168 Rohit your turn! 01:23:13.832 --> 01:23:16.376 Dare, dare, dare, dare! 01:23:17.752 --> 01:23:19.460 Truth or dare? 01:23:19.876 --> 01:23:21.332 Dare! 01:23:22.040 --> 01:23:24.416 - You sure? - Absolutely! 01:23:24.916 --> 01:23:27.540 Not a coward like you all! 01:23:27.624 --> 01:23:29.208 Sure about it? 01:23:29.252 --> 01:23:31.252 Extremely. 01:23:34.832 --> 01:23:37.832 Kiss your husband! 01:23:40.832 --> 01:23:42.832 (Piano key) 01:23:49.584 --> 01:23:53.460 Oh Mr. Husband. Come here! 01:23:53.832 --> 01:23:56.500 Come on now... 01:23:56.584 --> 01:23:59.124 - Don't be shy! - Don't be crazy! 01:23:59.208 --> 01:24:02.124 Why are you being so shy? Come here! 01:24:03.292 --> 01:24:05.584 - Just one kiss, come! Be a sport. - Ira, don't talk rubbish! 01:24:05.752 --> 01:24:07.624 Why, why, why? Just a game. 01:24:07.708 --> 01:24:10.332 We just need to do one kiss, come on. 01:24:10.584 --> 01:24:12.332 Ira - Just don't - 01:24:12.416 --> 01:24:14.460 Let me kiss you, for a change... 01:24:14.540 --> 01:24:16.040 Ira - Please. 01:24:16.252 --> 01:24:17.916 Come on. 01:24:18.500 --> 01:24:21.168 Ashamed, are we? Hmm? 01:24:22.084 --> 01:24:23.916 - Ashamed, are you to kiss me? - Ira... 01:24:23.960 --> 01:24:25.376 Ira, what are you doing? 01:24:25.460 --> 01:24:27.168 Come here! 01:24:27.500 --> 01:24:28.460 Stop! 01:24:28.540 --> 01:24:30.292 - Look here. - Stop, Ira. 01:24:30.416 --> 01:24:33.252 Ira, what are you doing? Ira! 01:24:33.292 --> 01:24:36.124 - Feeling shy! Come on! - (Basuki breathes heavily) 01:24:36.252 --> 01:24:37.332 Ira! 01:24:37.500 --> 01:24:38.792 Ira! What the... Just stop this nonsense! 01:24:38.832 --> 01:24:40.252 What the hell! 01:25:04.540 --> 01:25:07.540 (Music) 01:25:10.916 --> 01:25:13.916 You can't pass! 01:25:20.584 --> 01:25:23.584 (Thunder sound) 01:26:01.292 --> 01:26:04.292 (Rohit chuckles) 01:26:08.000 --> 01:26:11.000 (Ira moans) 01:26:48.960 --> 01:26:50.332 Henry? 01:26:50.416 --> 01:26:52.252 Curzon? 01:26:59.208 --> 01:27:02.208 Oh my God, he is dead. 01:27:06.292 --> 01:27:10.292 This... wasn't part of the plan. 01:27:12.292 --> 01:27:14.292 This is Lord Curzon for real! 01:27:14.460 --> 01:27:16.584 You guys are murderers! 01:27:16.668 --> 01:27:21.000 Shut up and give me a hand, you half-Brit! 01:27:22.040 --> 01:27:24.040 You too Basuki! 01:27:24.376 --> 01:27:28.124 No, I refuse to be part of this criminal offence. 01:27:28.460 --> 01:27:30.416 (Rohit scoffs) 01:27:31.168 --> 01:27:33.752 - Are you coming? - No fucking way, mate! 01:27:34.416 --> 01:27:37.168 Did you say, no fucking way to me? - Alright, alright, alright! 01:27:37.332 --> 01:27:38.960 I'll help you! 01:27:39.124 --> 01:27:41.040 But I'm not doing it out of my free will! 01:27:41.084 --> 01:27:43.876 Aw... I don't care. Just help. 01:27:45.416 --> 01:27:48.124 Get his hands! Hurry up! 01:27:48.292 --> 01:27:51.124 (Music) 01:27:51.832 --> 01:27:53.832 Use your fucking strength man! 01:27:54.040 --> 01:27:56.040 Put him down. 01:28:01.668 --> 01:28:03.668 Come on! 01:28:41.376 --> 01:28:45.960 Let me fucking go! Let me go! 01:28:46.168 --> 01:28:48.168 Let me fucking go! 01:28:48.416 --> 01:28:50.668 - It's hurting! - Let it fucking hurt! 01:28:50.752 --> 01:28:52.500 - It's hurting! - Let it fucking hurt! 01:28:52.584 --> 01:28:54.792 - It's hurting! - Let it fucking hurt! 01:28:55.208 --> 01:28:56.208 - It's hurt- - Let it fucking hurt! 01:28:56.624 --> 01:28:58.416 - It's hurting! - Let it fucking hurt! 01:28:58.708 --> 01:29:00.084 Let it fucking hurt! 01:29:02.832 --> 01:29:07.708 - (Ira curses him in Hindi) - (Pizza man groans) 01:29:08.752 --> 01:29:12.376 Told you not to fucking touch me. Didn't I? Didn't I?! 01:29:12.460 --> 01:29:15.332 You bloody half-Brit! Didn't I tell you not to touch me? 01:29:15.624 --> 01:29:18.208 Why did you touch me then? 01:29:18.376 --> 01:29:20.416 Told you not to fucking touch me. 01:29:20.876 --> 01:29:23.624 Does it hurt? Does it hurt?! 01:29:23.916 --> 01:29:26.332 - Tell me does it hurt? - It hurts. It hurts. 01:29:26.584 --> 01:29:29.832 Let it hurt! Let it hurt then! 01:29:34.708 --> 01:29:37.708 (Ira beats him to pulp) 01:31:03.752 --> 01:31:05.752 Dial. 01:31:07.040 --> 01:31:09.332 What are you going to say? 01:31:09.708 --> 01:31:12.624 Ira, just... Just come to your senses, okay? 01:31:19.208 --> 01:31:22.208 Tell me - why did you marry me? 01:31:25.040 --> 01:31:28.084 Ira you're scaring me... 01:31:35.332 --> 01:31:38.332 You don't like me, right? 01:31:38.376 --> 01:31:40.876 Ira just calm down - Just... 01:31:40.916 --> 01:31:43.916 Just listen to me. Just calm down. 01:31:52.124 --> 01:31:55.124 Tell me, how do I look in this dress? 01:31:55.916 --> 01:31:59.040 Good. Very good! 01:32:05.792 --> 01:32:08.584 - Am I looking good? - Yes! 01:32:09.208 --> 01:32:12.292 Yes, very pretty. 01:32:12.332 --> 01:32:15.168 - Very pretty? - Yes, very pretty. 01:32:15.208 --> 01:32:18.208 Ira, listen to me. 01:32:18.708 --> 01:32:21.708 Just, just calm down, okay? 01:32:23.124 --> 01:32:25.792 Then why didn't you kiss me? 01:32:26.124 --> 01:32:28.252 Ira... 01:32:34.708 --> 01:32:37.708 Kiss me! 01:32:43.040 --> 01:32:45.916 I said... 01:32:46.792 --> 01:32:48.376 Kiss me! 01:32:48.624 --> 01:32:52.376 (Music) 01:32:54.832 --> 01:32:57.040 Kiss me! 01:34:10.084 --> 01:34:13.084 (Music) 01:34:28.000 --> 01:34:30.916 Is there hot water in the bathroom? 01:34:31.292 --> 01:34:33.000 Hm. 01:35:44.540 --> 01:35:47.708 (Music) 01:37:13.168 --> 01:37:15.332 Sanya, 01:37:18.292 --> 01:37:21.040 give me something to wear. 01:38:10.752 --> 01:38:13.376 Are you done? 01:38:24.832 --> 01:38:27.832 How are you feeling now? 01:38:29.208 --> 01:38:32.208 Everything is a blur. 01:38:34.584 --> 01:38:35.792 I feel like I am flying. 01:38:35.960 --> 01:38:38.792 (Rohit chuckles) 01:38:39.416 --> 01:38:42.460 That's how you feel. The first time. 01:38:42.540 --> 01:38:45.540 Light! 01:38:47.624 --> 01:38:50.500 Welcome to the world of light! 01:38:52.460 --> 01:38:54.460 Let's go. 01:38:55.832 --> 01:38:58.208 I feel suffocated here. 01:39:16.376 --> 01:39:19.040 What happened now? 01:39:19.624 --> 01:39:22.540 You guys go ahead, I am coming. 01:39:24.292 --> 01:39:28.040 Hi! This is an emergency, my house is under attack! 01:39:28.376 --> 01:39:33.752 There are intruders! They look Indian or maybe Pakis! 01:39:34.376 --> 01:39:36.252 Oh, I don't know! Bloody brownies! 01:39:36.332 --> 01:39:38.708 - Sir, what's your name? - Henry Curzon! 01:39:38.792 --> 01:39:41.292 We are sending officers to your address- 01:39:49.792 --> 01:39:52.752 What a beautiful city, isn't it? 01:39:56.668 --> 01:39:59.708 I am in love with this place. 01:40:01.752 --> 01:40:04.708 I don't want to live anywhere else in the world! 01:40:06.500 --> 01:40:09.540 Everything feels like a dream. 01:40:14.332 --> 01:40:19.792 These damn Britishers ruled us for two-hundred years in our own country, 01:40:20.292 --> 01:40:25.084 And they can't give me a VISA even for two years? 01:40:25.584 --> 01:40:28.376 I'm on a spouse VISA, 01:40:29.252 --> 01:40:32.168 do you think they'll send me back to Bhatinda? 01:40:33.916 --> 01:40:35.040 I don't want to go! 01:40:35.252 --> 01:40:43.376 (Church bell chimes) 01:40:51.208 --> 01:40:55.124 (Car engine revs) 01:41:18.168 --> 01:41:22.668 (Cuckoo clock chimes) 01:41:26.376 --> 01:41:29.208 (Clock ticks) 01:42:06.584 --> 01:42:11.540 In other news - the issue of squatters in the UK is escalating enormously. 01:42:11.624 --> 01:42:13.332 In the most recent episode, 01:42:13.376 --> 01:42:18.208 three dead bodies were recovered from a summer home in the outskirts of London. 01:42:18.252 --> 01:42:21.916 The police are yet to confirm the identities of the bodies. 01:42:22.040 --> 01:42:25.040 And now, to the weather forecast.