WEBVTT
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Did you feel that too?
00:00:35.303 --> 00:00:37.013 align:center
- What?
- Your stomach.
00:00:37.180 --> 00:00:38.222 align:center
It's like butterflies.
00:00:38.389 --> 00:00:41.768 align:center
My mom said when I met
the right girl, I'd feel butterflies.
00:00:41.934 --> 00:00:42.977 align:center
I think I'm ready.
00:00:46.105 --> 00:00:47.231 align:center
Can you believe him?
00:00:47.398 --> 00:00:49.150 align:center
He falls so easily.
00:00:49.317 --> 00:00:50.735 align:center
I'm a little more guarded.
00:00:50.902 --> 00:00:54.656 align:center
I guess it's because
I've been hurt before.
00:00:55.907 --> 00:00:57.241 align:center
I'll never hurt you.
00:01:02.830 --> 00:01:04.248 align:center
- My dad.
- My dad.
00:01:05.082 --> 00:01:07.126 align:center
- You guys are sisters?
- Our dads are friends.
00:01:07.292 --> 00:01:09.253 align:center
They went to the gym.
They're muscle-heads.
00:01:09.420 --> 00:01:12.423 align:center
Your best bet is to curl into a ball
until they stop beating you.
00:01:12.589 --> 00:01:15.759 align:center
I'm telling you this
because I think I might love you.
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What's our plan?
00:01:22.850 --> 00:01:26.019 align:center
Run for the window. I'll get
the car keys. Y formation, dog-leg left.
00:01:26.186 --> 00:01:28.021 align:center
- Ready, break.
- Break.
00:01:48.625 --> 00:01:51.128 align:center
We should wait
two days before we call them.
00:01:54.423 --> 00:01:56.467 align:center
You've gotta be kidding me.
00:01:56.633 --> 00:02:00.179 align:center
Do you think they have any concept
of how fast a car can go?
00:02:09.021 --> 00:02:12.191 align:center
Reverse kitty cat, dog-leg left,
over the fence, on my count, break.
00:02:36.256 --> 00:02:39.885 align:center
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn. Can we use your pool?
00:02:50.505 --> 00:02:54.092 align:center
Come on, Tigers. Yeah!
00:02:54.259 --> 00:02:56.678 align:center
Split Johnny left!
Split Johnny left!
00:02:57.012 --> 00:03:00.933 align:center
Come on! Come on, guys!
Set. Hike.
00:03:12.694 --> 00:03:16.114 align:center
Yeah! Yeah! All day. All day.
Candy from a baby.
00:03:17.115 --> 00:03:19.284 align:center
- What do you wanna do?
- That brunette.
00:03:19.451 --> 00:03:22.246 align:center
Looks like she wouldn't mind
St. Nick stuffed down her chimney.
00:03:22.412 --> 00:03:23.914 align:center
No, I mean, the play, in the game.
00:03:24.081 --> 00:03:26.625 align:center
- Come on, guys, focus.
- I've never been more focused.
00:03:26.792 --> 00:03:29.086 align:center
Check it, couple of meatloaves
in that baby tee.
00:03:29.253 --> 00:03:30.837 align:center
Not mad at that belly ring either.
00:03:31.004 --> 00:03:34.299 align:center
Have you seen this blond?
Rackety-rack, don't talk back.
00:03:34.466 --> 00:03:36.134 align:center
Wonder if her carpet
matches my drapes.
00:03:36.301 --> 00:03:38.178 align:center
Delay of game, loss of five yards.
00:03:38.345 --> 00:03:40.597 align:center
And just because
it's a spring scrimmage...
00:03:40.764 --> 00:03:43.308 align:center
doesn't mean you can
shit yourselves out here. Go!
00:03:43.517 --> 00:03:46.228 align:center
- Sorry, coach.
- Go, go, go. Come on, go, go.
00:03:46.436 --> 00:03:48.313 align:center
Tigers!
00:03:48.480 --> 00:03:50.440 align:center
Come on, crowd
Let's hear some noise
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N-O-I-S-E Noise
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God. See, look, we took too long.
00:03:54.820 --> 00:03:56.989 align:center
Here come
the whack-ass cheerleaders, man.
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Noise, N-O-I-S-E Noise
00:04:00.826 --> 00:04:01.827 align:center
Tigers.
00:04:10.335 --> 00:04:13.005 align:center
- Well, I am pumped up.
- All right, what's the play?
00:04:13.171 --> 00:04:15.340 align:center
Hold on,
baby tee is signing me her number.
00:04:15.507 --> 00:04:19.177 align:center
- Is that a seven? A five and a two?
- Any day now, shit buckets.
00:04:19.344 --> 00:04:22.264 align:center
I don't wanna run laps all afternoon.
I have a shrink appointment.
00:04:22.431 --> 00:04:25.100 align:center
Dude, your cousin stuck his finger
in your ass. Get over it.
00:04:26.518 --> 00:04:29.688 align:center
They playing us loose. Let's
get short passes and extra yardage.
00:04:29.855 --> 00:04:32.566 align:center
The hell with that, man.
You either bet big or go home.
00:04:33.108 --> 00:04:35.986 align:center
- You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
- Aye, my brother.
00:04:36.153 --> 00:04:40.032 align:center
All right. Pro-zoom trips, deep route,
slant slim boogie on my count. Ready?
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Break.
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54s and Mike, watch that blitz.
00:04:45.162 --> 00:04:47.497 align:center
Blue 17, set, hut.
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Come on, Shawn.
00:04:58.050 --> 00:04:59.634 align:center
Come on, baby. Yeah!
00:05:13.757 --> 00:05:15.925 align:center
- Hey, I'm Nick.
- Shawn.
00:05:21.890 --> 00:05:24.142 align:center
- Hey, Shawn.
- Hey, Maddy.
00:05:24.309 --> 00:05:27.437 align:center
Thanks for helping me study Bio.
I'm retarded about reverse osmosis.
00:05:27.604 --> 00:05:28.646 align:center
No, you're not.
00:05:28.855 --> 00:05:31.316 align:center
Pressure forcing a solvent
through a membrane...
00:05:31.483 --> 00:05:34.444 align:center
like when a water balloon
gets too big and then explodes.
00:05:34.611 --> 00:05:38.239 align:center
Got it. Thanks. You're so awesome.
00:05:38.406 --> 00:05:40.074 align:center
No. Science is awesome.
00:05:40.950 --> 00:05:43.286 align:center
And you're awesome.
Now, go crush that test.
00:05:43.453 --> 00:05:45.455 align:center
- Thanks.
- High five.
00:05:45.622 --> 00:05:47.624 align:center
Nick. Hey, Nick.
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- Name, name. I need a name.
- Jennifer.
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- Jennifer, hi, how are you?
- I'm great. Really great.
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- Are you going to the bonfire tonight?
- You know it.
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I was just saying to Shawn here...
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I cannot wait to go to the bonfire
so I can hang out with...
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- Jennifer.
- Jennifer.
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- I'll see you tonight.
- Okay, Jennifer.
00:06:09.062 --> 00:06:12.022 align:center
- It's not that hard a name to remember.
- Went out with her last semester.
00:06:12.690 --> 00:06:14.942 align:center
The name gets erased
to make room for new ones.
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- There's like 3000 kids at this school.
- Can't you just remember more names?
00:06:18.863 --> 00:06:20.743 align:center
I don't know how it works.
Talk to Tech Support.
00:06:20.865 --> 00:06:23.075 align:center
- There are my guys.
- Let's bet how many times...
00:06:23.242 --> 00:06:25.494 align:center
- he says "shit." I say seven.
- No way, 10.
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- Hey, coach.
- Hey, coach.
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Shitheads think you're the shit?
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That you don't need
to pay attention out there?
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I'll kick the shit out of you.
You pumped for football camp?
00:06:34.586 --> 00:06:36.588 align:center
- I guess so.
- Yeah, two weeks without girls.
00:06:36.755 --> 00:06:39.341 align:center
- Who wouldn't be pumped?
- Don't mess with me, shit-dick.
00:06:39.842 --> 00:06:42.469 align:center
I am gonna push you like you've
never been pushed before.
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Your muscles will ache,
your head will throb.
00:06:44.847 --> 00:06:47.349 align:center
You'll shit blood out of holes
you never knew you had.
00:06:47.724 --> 00:06:49.893 align:center
At least we're gonna
be in Daytona Beach.
00:06:50.060 --> 00:06:54.148 align:center
No. Change it up this year.
Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas.
00:06:54.314 --> 00:06:56.150 align:center
Hotter than your shithole.
00:06:56.316 --> 00:06:58.360 align:center
We're gonna get
you shits conditioned.
00:06:58.527 --> 00:07:01.530 align:center
Bus leaves Monday
at O-shit-hundred hours.
00:07:01.697 --> 00:07:03.782 align:center
Which is?
- A-AS a.m.
00:07:03.949 --> 00:07:05.367 align:center
- Of course.
- The usual.
00:07:05.534 --> 00:07:08.328 align:center
Skip your morning shit
and get down here.
00:07:10.080 --> 00:07:12.583 align:center
Ten "shits," you win.
How do you always know?
00:07:12.749 --> 00:07:15.544 align:center
It's a gift. I'm not proud of it.
00:07:16.753 --> 00:07:17.796 align:center
Bye.
00:07:19.298 --> 00:07:21.425 align:center
Maybe I'll see you
sometime this summer.
00:07:22.384 --> 00:07:24.219 align:center
Don't be obvious.
He knows you like him.
00:07:24.386 --> 00:07:26.221 align:center
You guys coming
to my dad's after camp?
00:07:26.388 --> 00:07:28.557 align:center
- Hells, yeah. He gave it to you again?
- Nice.
00:07:28.724 --> 00:07:30.726 align:center
He figures if he lets
me have it one week...
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I'll forgive him for not being there
when I need him.
00:07:33.687 --> 00:07:35.898 align:center
And guess what. He's right.
00:07:36.523 --> 00:07:39.902 align:center
Did you hear football camp's gonna
be in El Paso? How cool is that?
00:07:40.068 --> 00:07:42.571 align:center
We gonna be sweating, hallucinating,
our skin burning.
00:07:42.738 --> 00:07:45.240 align:center
Like being on shrooms,
but without girls to yell at us.
00:07:45.517 --> 00:07:50.105 align:center
"Where's the car? Where's the car?
I'm getting scared. Hold my purse."
00:07:51.981 --> 00:07:55.318 align:center
- Two weeks, Shawn. Two weeks.
- I know.
00:07:56.402 --> 00:07:58.488 align:center
Two weeks out of the best
years of our lives.
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Two weeks we're never
gonna get back, like, ever.
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:02.575 align:center
I know.
00:08:03.326 --> 00:08:05.578 align:center
So are you guys psyched
for cheer camp or what?
00:08:05.745 --> 00:08:07.163 align:center
It's, like, all I think about.
00:08:07.330 --> 00:08:10.458 align:center
Know how Martin Luther King
had a dream? Well, I do too.
00:08:10.625 --> 00:08:14.921 align:center
To kick ass at cheer camp. And if
that makes me shallow, then fine.
00:08:15.088 --> 00:08:18.883 align:center
- Call me and Dr. King shallow.
- That doesn't make you shallow.
00:08:19.717 --> 00:08:21.010 align:center
That makes you real.
00:08:21.636 --> 00:08:23.596 align:center
We have got to do better
than last year.
00:08:23.763 --> 00:08:27.475 align:center
We could take a dump in our pants
and still do better than last year.
00:08:27.642 --> 00:08:30.019 align:center
- I'm just saying.
- But we're better this year.
00:08:30.186 --> 00:08:33.272 align:center
And if we work hard,
I think we have a real shot.
00:08:33.439 --> 00:08:35.650 align:center
I don't know.
There's 300 girls up there...
00:08:35.817 --> 00:08:37.819 align:center
who want it just as much
as we do.
00:08:37.986 --> 00:08:40.571 align:center
- And who are much better than us.
- Three hundred girls.
00:08:40.738 --> 00:08:43.533 align:center
Who want it just as much as we do.
00:08:43.700 --> 00:08:45.493 align:center
And are much better than us.
00:08:46.911 --> 00:08:49.205 align:center
Tell you what, man,
that'd be the place to be.
00:08:49.372 --> 00:08:52.709 align:center
Instead of sweating our balls off
in the desert with Coach Shit-Shit.
00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:57.046 align:center
- So let's go.
- What?
00:08:57.213 --> 00:08:59.048 align:center
Let's go to cheer camp,
be cheerleaders.
00:08:59.215 --> 00:09:00.883 align:center
- Cheerleaders?
- Yes.
00:09:01.075 --> 00:09:03.119 align:center
Oh, my God.
Are you coming out to me?
00:09:03.286 --> 00:09:04.913 align:center
I'm so proud of you, man.
00:09:05.079 --> 00:09:07.373 align:center
And you know what,
I kind of always knew.
00:09:07.540 --> 00:09:10.126 align:center
Will you shut up. All right,
I'm too straight to be gay.
00:09:10.293 --> 00:09:12.170 align:center
I could suck knob
and still be straight.
00:09:12.337 --> 00:09:14.631 align:center
I could have one in my mouth
and two in each hand...
00:09:14.797 --> 00:09:17.175 align:center
- and still win a straight award.
- All right.
00:09:17.342 --> 00:09:20.011 align:center
Which is why I wanna go
to cheer camp. Think.
00:09:20.178 --> 00:09:23.389 align:center
Three hundred hotties
we've never been with before.
00:09:23.666 --> 00:09:25.835 align:center
I wonder if they let guys
go to cheer camp.
00:09:26.585 --> 00:09:28.170 align:center
Name, name. Give me a name.
00:09:28.337 --> 00:09:30.172 align:center
- Carly. She's the captain.
- Hey, Carly.
00:09:30.339 --> 00:09:33.926 align:center
Yeah, I know, it's the most beautiful
name you've ever heard...
00:09:34.134 --> 00:09:35.719 align:center
my eyes look like forever...
00:09:35.886 --> 00:09:39.014 align:center
and you love every bone in my body,
especially yours.
00:09:39.181 --> 00:09:41.100 align:center
No, but that's good.
Mind if I use it?
00:09:41.267 --> 00:09:42.518 align:center
No, no. No lines.
00:09:42.685 --> 00:09:44.603 align:center
We wanted to wish you
luck at cheer camp.
00:09:44.770 --> 00:09:48.023 align:center
Sure, you do. I know your game.
No girl left unturned.
00:09:48.482 --> 00:09:49.859 align:center
- What?
- How dare you?
00:09:50.025 --> 00:09:52.611 align:center
No. We just see how hard
you ladies cheer out there...
00:09:52.778 --> 00:09:54.655 align:center
and we really hope
that you do good.
00:09:54.822 --> 00:09:58.826 align:center
Yeah, do us proud, you know. Beat
the skirts off those 300 other girls.
00:09:58.993 --> 00:10:02.037 align:center
And guys? Are there guys there?
Do guys go?
00:10:02.204 --> 00:10:04.498 align:center
- What about guys?
- It's a good question.
00:10:04.665 --> 00:10:07.209 align:center
There's girls and guys that go.
I don't know if guys...
00:10:07.376 --> 00:10:09.295 align:center
Yes. The good teams are all co-ed.
00:10:09.503 --> 00:10:12.882 align:center
That's interesting. I just didn't
know that. I was just pondering.
00:10:13.048 --> 00:10:16.343 align:center
Carly, come here. We're working on
a new mount Bianca came up with.
00:10:16.510 --> 00:10:18.554 align:center
- Yeah!
- Coming.
00:10:18.971 --> 00:10:22.725 align:center
I'm gonna walk away backwards,
So you guys don't talk about my ass.
00:10:22.892 --> 00:10:25.728 align:center
Man, she's got nice lumps.
Either one of us ever hit that?
00:10:25.895 --> 00:10:28.564 align:center
I don't think so. I think
she respects herself too much.
00:10:28.731 --> 00:10:29.857 align:center
Right.
00:10:30.024 --> 00:10:31.775 align:center
Who wants to deal with that drama?
00:10:32.026 --> 00:10:34.778 align:center
So, what do you think
about cheer camp?
00:10:34.945 --> 00:10:37.156 align:center
- What do you mean, what do I think?
- Let's go.
00:10:37.323 --> 00:10:40.200 align:center
- We're not cheerleaders.
- We're athletes, we can do anything.
00:10:40.367 --> 00:10:43.287 align:center
They don't just let anybody go.
You've gotta be part of a squad.
00:10:43.454 --> 00:10:45.331 align:center
Let's join a squad.
How hard can this be?
00:10:45.497 --> 00:10:46.999 align:center
A couple of flips, a pyramid.
00:10:47.166 --> 00:10:48.584 align:center
Rah, rah, black sheep
00:10:48.751 --> 00:10:50.502 align:center
Three hundred honeys
on our biscuits.
00:10:50.669 --> 00:10:53.631 align:center
- What about football camp?
- Screw football.
00:10:53.797 --> 00:10:56.675 align:center
The only reason we started playing
was to pull chicks.
00:10:56.842 --> 00:11:00.220 align:center
You can't honestly tell me you enjoy
running in blazing hot pads...
00:11:00.387 --> 00:11:03.766 align:center
trying to catch a pass two seconds
before some 2000-pound mongoloid...
00:11:03.933 --> 00:11:07.144 align:center
- crashes into your Nutter Butters.
- El Paso, here we come.
00:11:07.311 --> 00:11:09.688 align:center
Not if it comes to us first!
00:11:10.606 --> 00:11:12.107 align:center
Oh, shit.
00:11:12.274 --> 00:11:13.692 align:center
- I'm on fire.
- Mookie!
00:11:13.859 --> 00:11:16.904 align:center
- Water, water, water.
- I'll put you out.
00:11:17.071 --> 00:11:18.489 align:center
I'm a hero.
00:11:19.156 --> 00:11:21.492 align:center
Screw football. Let's go cheer.
00:11:21.992 --> 00:11:23.744 align:center
Shawny Shawn!
00:11:25.287 --> 00:11:27.289 align:center
We need to convince
the squad they need us.
00:11:27.456 --> 00:11:29.792 align:center
- Not gonna be easy.
- That's why we go to Poppy.
00:11:29.959 --> 00:11:31.961 align:center
- I wish there was another way.
- There's not.
00:11:32.127 --> 00:11:34.505 align:center
- But I wish there was.
- But there's not. We're here.
00:11:34.672 --> 00:11:37.132 align:center
- I wish we weren't.
- But we are.
00:11:38.842 --> 00:11:40.636 align:center
Hi, sis.
00:11:40.913 --> 00:11:42.707 align:center
Why am I looking at you? Speak.
00:11:42.873 --> 00:11:45.126 align:center
Poppy, you're getting so big now.
How old are you?
00:11:45.292 --> 00:11:47.878 align:center
I'm 60. Can we get past
the small talk?
00:11:48.045 --> 00:11:51.590 align:center
The only time you come to see me
is when you need something.
00:11:51.757 --> 00:11:53.384 align:center
What? Tug mags?
00:11:53.551 --> 00:11:55.344 align:center
Mike's Hard Lemonade?
00:11:55.678 --> 00:11:58.097 align:center
- Another ride to the clinic?
- Poppy.
00:11:59.932 --> 00:12:03.602 align:center
No. We wanna go to that
cheerleading camp you're going to.
00:12:03.769 --> 00:12:07.106 align:center
Since you're killing on the JV squad
and so advanced beyond your years...
00:12:07.273 --> 00:12:08.941 align:center
we thought you'd get us
up to speed.
00:12:09.108 --> 00:12:11.152 align:center
Hey, buddy,
you can piss on my face...
00:12:11.318 --> 00:12:12.862 align:center
just don't tell me it's raining.
00:12:14.238 --> 00:12:16.615 align:center
You guys have been through
every girl at your school...
00:12:16.782 --> 00:12:18.868 align:center
and you're looking
for fresh muff.
00:12:19.035 --> 00:12:21.579 align:center
Some itchy-itchy-nah-nah.
Wall-to-wall carpet.
00:12:21.746 --> 00:12:23.789 align:center
Okay, seriously, how old are you?
00:12:23.997 --> 00:12:27.042 align:center
Tell you what, I'll teach you
some basic cheerleader moves.
00:12:27.251 --> 00:12:29.419 align:center
High V's, low V's,
touchdown, baskets.
00:12:29.586 --> 00:12:32.547 align:center
Don't the guys just throw
the girls up and then catch them?
00:12:32.714 --> 00:12:36.343 align:center
Pretty much. But I'll let you practise
on me and tell you what they're called.
00:12:36.510 --> 00:12:38.553 align:center
In exchange, I get Shawn's room.
00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:39.888 align:center
- No.
- Done.
00:12:40.055 --> 00:12:41.431 align:center
Those are my terms.
00:12:41.598 --> 00:12:43.767 align:center
- We'll take them.
- Dude, I've got my own bathroom.
00:12:44.017 --> 00:12:46.895 align:center
Dude, after cheer camp, you won't
even need your own bathroom.
00:12:47.062 --> 00:12:48.689 align:center
What? What does that even mean?
00:12:48.855 --> 00:12:51.566 align:center
Poppy, you got yourself a deal.
Teach us, we go see Carly.
00:12:51.733 --> 00:12:53.652 align:center
- Wrong, Gossip Girl.
- What?
00:12:53.819 --> 00:12:56.738 align:center
Carly's not one of your humpety-hump
football groupies.
00:12:56.905 --> 00:12:59.992 align:center
She's too smart to buy that you guys
wanna be cheerleaders.
00:13:00.158 --> 00:13:01.535 align:center
Okay, so, what's the play?
00:13:09.334 --> 00:13:12.170 align:center
- Here she comes, here she comes.
- Go, go. Get up there.
00:13:12.754 --> 00:13:14.089 align:center
Oh, rats.
00:13:14.256 --> 00:13:16.925 align:center
- We got our Frisbee stuck.
- How are we gonna get it down?
00:13:17.092 --> 00:13:19.136 align:center
- Go space shuttle.
- That's what I'm thinking.
00:13:19.344 --> 00:13:20.595 align:center
Good idea.
00:13:20.762 --> 00:13:22.597 align:center
- Ready?
- Okay.
00:13:22.764 --> 00:13:28.687 align:center
One, two, three, four, five, six
Seven, grab, drop, catch
00:13:30.856 --> 00:13:32.441 align:center
- Great job.
- Go, buddy.
00:13:32.607 --> 00:13:34.484 align:center
Do they always get
so excited like that?
00:13:34.651 --> 00:13:37.237 align:center
Haven't you ever seen them
do their touchdown dances?
00:13:37.404 --> 00:13:41.533 align:center
I mean, they flip all over the place.
You'd think they were cheerleaders.
00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:43.660 align:center
- No.
- You guys really like cheering?
00:13:43.827 --> 00:13:45.787 align:center
That wasn't cheering,
just goofing around.
00:13:45.954 --> 00:13:47.956 align:center
You nailed a backward sponge
and go cradle.
00:13:48.123 --> 00:13:50.667 align:center
No. We threw my sister up in the air
to get our Frisbee.
00:13:50.834 --> 00:13:52.961 align:center
It was either that
or we get three ladders.
00:13:53.128 --> 00:13:54.129 align:center
Come on, guys.
00:13:54.296 --> 00:13:58.759 align:center
You love cheering. Don't run from it.
This is a safe place.
00:14:00.218 --> 00:14:02.804 align:center
We kind of do. It's so much
more athletic than football.
00:14:02.971 --> 00:14:06.058 align:center
If it were up to us, we'd go
with you ladies to cheer camp.
00:14:06.224 --> 00:14:07.976 align:center
But we're football meatheads.
00:14:08.143 --> 00:14:10.687 align:center
We gotta march in lockstep
to what society expects.
00:14:10.854 --> 00:14:13.482 align:center
Don't tell anyone, okay?
Totally ruin our rep.
00:14:13.648 --> 00:14:15.650 align:center
- We'll catch you later.
- Have a good summer.
00:14:15.817 --> 00:14:17.819 align:center
We're gonna go watch
a Bears' game on TV.
00:14:17.986 --> 00:14:20.072 align:center
Go, Bears
00:14:32.417 --> 00:14:34.920 align:center
I'm supposed to believe
the biggest jocks in school...
00:14:35.128 --> 00:14:37.255 align:center
all along really wanted
to be cheerleaders?
00:14:37.422 --> 00:14:40.634 align:center
Don't get caught up in the lockstep
of society's expectations.
00:14:40.801 --> 00:14:42.719 align:center
They tossed Poppy
like 20 feet in the air.
00:14:42.886 --> 00:14:45.180 align:center
Look, Carly,
we don't have any muscle.
00:14:45.347 --> 00:14:48.934 align:center
If you really wanna do better this year,
they're our only hope.
00:14:49.518 --> 00:14:52.354 align:center
Unless you guys wanna try steroids,
which I'm totally open to.
00:14:53.271 --> 00:14:56.650 align:center
- I'm just saying.
- I don't care. I don't trust those guys.
00:14:56.900 --> 00:14:59.194 align:center
They're not coming. I'm the captain.
00:14:59.361 --> 00:15:02.155 align:center
Miss Klingerhoff is the coach.
Let's see what she thinks.
00:15:04.699 --> 00:15:07.619 align:center
What a fantastic idea.
00:15:08.245 --> 00:15:12.040 align:center
It's exactly what this squad needs
to just push it over the top.
00:15:12.207 --> 00:15:14.709 align:center
But Miss Klingerhoff,
they have never done it before.
00:15:14.876 --> 00:15:19.840 align:center
They don't know any of our cheers,
and, come on, it's Nick and Shawn.
00:15:20.006 --> 00:15:21.967 align:center
Don't judge a book
by its cover, Carly.
00:15:22.175 --> 00:15:26.555 align:center
You never really know what a book
is about until you get to page 50.
00:15:26.721 --> 00:15:28.557 align:center
Fifty?
00:15:28.723 --> 00:15:32.394 align:center
- Wouldn't guess a page over 40.
- More like 35.
00:15:33.562 --> 00:15:34.563 align:center
My chickens.
00:15:35.814 --> 00:15:37.107 align:center
You come here, you.
00:15:42.404 --> 00:15:44.739 align:center
All right. One down, one to go.
00:15:44.906 --> 00:15:48.076 align:center
What are we gonna say to Coach
Shit-For-Words to get out of football?
00:15:48.243 --> 00:15:51.246 align:center
What every kid says to get out
of everything he doesn't wanna do.
00:15:53.665 --> 00:15:56.293 align:center
So not only do I find out yesterday
I'm adopted...
00:15:56.460 --> 00:15:59.463 align:center
the people I've called mom and
dad are infertile impostors...
00:15:59.629 --> 00:16:02.757 align:center
who bought me outside a meth clinic
for two boxes of Sudafed...
00:16:02.924 --> 00:16:05.260 align:center
but I also get
this news dropped on me:
00:16:05.594 --> 00:16:08.096 align:center
My birth father, Bruce...
00:16:08.763 --> 00:16:11.641 align:center
well, he needs a kidney
and I'm the only match.
00:16:11.850 --> 00:16:13.935 align:center
And apparently Bruce needs it stat.
00:16:14.603 --> 00:16:17.063 align:center
You need it stat, Bruce? Huh?
00:16:17.272 --> 00:16:19.983 align:center
I needed a father stat
instead of the stay-at-home dad...
00:16:20.150 --> 00:16:23.487 align:center
who showers me with love every
day, this goddamn spermless liar!
00:16:24.946 --> 00:16:27.949 align:center
So now I gotta be at Kaiser
Permanente tomorrow at 6 a.m.
00:16:28.116 --> 00:16:31.536 align:center
I know. Bruce couldn't even afford
a real hospital.
00:16:31.745 --> 00:16:34.372 align:center
Managed care. It's ironic, huh?
00:16:34.956 --> 00:16:36.708 align:center
Never managed to care for me.
00:16:36.875 --> 00:16:38.793 align:center
You shitting me?
00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:41.046 align:center
Are you saying you can't go to camp?
00:16:41.213 --> 00:16:43.465 align:center
Yeah, but don't make me say it,
coach.
00:16:43.632 --> 00:16:47.969 align:center
Because it's eating me up inside.
It's eating me up.
00:16:50.055 --> 00:16:51.431 align:center
Shit!
00:16:53.391 --> 00:16:55.852 align:center
- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!
- One, two.
00:16:56.019 --> 00:16:57.646 align:center
Cheer camp! One, two.
00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.024 align:center
You might have everyone else fooled,
but not me.
00:17:01.566 --> 00:17:03.777 align:center
Well, if being a fool
for cheering is wrong...
00:17:04.569 --> 00:17:06.154 align:center
then I don't wanna be right.
00:17:06.321 --> 00:17:08.782 align:center
You might wanna dial back
your bullshit with her.
00:17:08.949 --> 00:17:10.242 align:center
She seems pretty with-it.
00:17:10.408 --> 00:17:12.619 align:center
That's a great note. Thanks.
00:17:17.415 --> 00:17:18.833 align:center
We're so psyched you're here.
00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.044 align:center
- Yeah, us too. Oh, yeah.
- Me too, yeah, yeah.
00:17:21.294 --> 00:17:22.379 align:center
Don't worry about Carly.
00:17:22.546 --> 00:17:24.589 align:center
- She's really into cheering.
- No worries.
00:17:24.756 --> 00:17:27.092 align:center
We are driving
We, we are driving
00:17:27.592 --> 00:17:30.845 align:center
We are driving
We, we are driving
00:17:31.012 --> 00:17:33.932 align:center
We like driving
We, we like driving
00:17:34.349 --> 00:17:37.769 align:center
We like driving
We, we like driving
00:17:37.936 --> 00:17:41.106 align:center
-We are eating
-We, we are eating
00:17:41.314 --> 00:17:44.693 align:center
We are driving again
We are driving
00:17:44.859 --> 00:17:47.612 align:center
We are driving again
We are driving
00:17:47.779 --> 00:17:50.865 align:center
- How long does this go on for?
- The whole way.
00:17:51.032 --> 00:17:54.619 align:center
Just wait till their cycles match up.
You'll miss these days.
00:17:54.828 --> 00:17:56.705 align:center
We're gonna miss
Mookie's dad's house.
00:17:56.871 --> 00:17:59.457 align:center
Oh, buddy, we are not missing
Mookie's dad's house.
00:17:59.624 --> 00:18:01.418 align:center
Yeah.
This thing is three weeks long.
00:18:01.585 --> 00:18:05.714 align:center
Not for us, it isn't. We hook up
like maniacs, we bail in two.
00:18:07.215 --> 00:18:09.217 align:center
That's probably gonna piss
some people off.
00:18:09.384 --> 00:18:11.428 align:center
To make an omelette,
you gotta break some eggs.
00:18:11.595 --> 00:18:14.889 align:center
Grated cheese, slice some mushrooms,
salt, pepper, don't over-beat.
00:18:15.056 --> 00:18:17.058 align:center
We are driving again
We are driving
00:18:17.851 --> 00:18:21.062 align:center
We are driving again
We are driving
00:18:21.229 --> 00:18:23.398 align:center
We are driving again
We are driving
00:18:23.565 --> 00:18:24.691 align:center
Sorry.
00:18:24.858 --> 00:18:28.820 align:center
I should say so, handsy.
At least buy me dinner first.
00:18:28.987 --> 00:18:30.530 align:center
Very funny.
00:18:33.366 --> 00:18:35.952 align:center
All right, now you're just
taking advantage of me.
00:18:39.664 --> 00:18:42.417 align:center
We are here We, we are here
00:18:44.669 --> 00:18:46.087 align:center
I think we made a big mistake.
00:18:46.254 --> 00:18:48.256 align:center
We may have screwed the pooch
on this one.
00:18:49.090 --> 00:18:51.593 align:center
Or maybe the pooch
IS gonna screw us.
00:18:51.760 --> 00:18:54.262 align:center
Sweet Mary in a D-cup.
00:19:38.014 --> 00:19:40.809 align:center
I think our bus crashed
and we're in heaven.
00:19:41.226 --> 00:19:43.061 align:center
No. We would've heard:
00:19:43.228 --> 00:19:46.940 align:center
"We are crashing
We, we are crashing"
00:19:47.816 --> 00:19:50.068 align:center
Let's go see how warm the water is.
00:19:50.235 --> 00:19:52.904 align:center
- Hi. Do I know you?
- I don't think so.
00:19:53.071 --> 00:19:56.574 align:center
Well, I'm Nick. I'm new this year.
Maybe you could show me around.
00:19:56.741 --> 00:19:59.160 align:center
- Who's this?
- Nick. He's new this year.
00:19:59.327 --> 00:20:01.538 align:center
This is Shawn, also new,
needs showing around.
00:20:01.705 --> 00:20:04.165 align:center
- If it's not too much trouble.
- You gotta check in.
00:20:04.332 --> 00:20:05.417 align:center
Okay, coming.
00:20:05.583 --> 00:20:08.169 align:center
It was very nice meeting you.
Hope we see you around.
00:20:08.336 --> 00:20:11.756 align:center
I'll put a bookmark between you.
That way we know where we left off.
00:20:16.970 --> 00:20:18.680 align:center
Hi. What squad are you on?
00:20:22.976 --> 00:20:26.730 align:center
Diora. I believe that's Italiano
for "beautiful princess."
00:20:26.980 --> 00:20:28.189 align:center
- No.
- Well, it should be.
00:20:28.356 --> 00:20:31.067 align:center
- I'm calling the dictionary people.
- What squad are you on?
00:20:31.234 --> 00:20:32.694 align:center
The Tigers, Gerald R. Ford High.
00:20:32.861 --> 00:20:35.655 align:center
Below-average president,
above-average student body.
00:20:35.822 --> 00:20:38.032 align:center
So, what are you doing later?
00:20:38.199 --> 00:20:39.617 align:center
Not you.
00:20:40.243 --> 00:20:41.953 align:center
What about accents?
You like Aussies?
00:20:42.120 --> 00:20:43.538 align:center
You wanna wear my leather hat?
00:20:44.247 --> 00:20:48.042 align:center
Mascots, I'll be checking you in
in 10 minutes at the mascot table.
00:20:48.877 --> 00:20:51.880 align:center
- Why are you still here?
- You like canopy beds?
00:20:54.299 --> 00:20:57.427 align:center
The last bus from Bitchville
just pulled in.
00:21:00.513 --> 00:21:02.390 align:center
- Who's that?
- The Panthers.
00:21:02.557 --> 00:21:05.643 align:center
They always come in first
and they don't let anyone forget it.
00:21:07.771 --> 00:21:12.108 align:center
You guys came back.
I think that's so brave.
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:14.819 align:center
I just hope one day
there's a special cheer camp...
00:21:15.028 --> 00:21:17.822 align:center
where squads like yours
really have a shot.
00:21:18.058 --> 00:21:19.101 align:center
- Shut up.
- Truth hurts.
00:21:19.267 --> 00:21:21.770 align:center
- Your face is gonna hurt.
- Does your face hurt...
00:21:21.937 --> 00:21:25.232 align:center
- when you stuff it with pie?
- You wish you had my body image.
00:21:25.399 --> 00:21:28.360 align:center
I'm healthy. Unlike you, Skeletor.
00:21:28.860 --> 00:21:30.779 align:center
We're a different team this year,
Gwyneth.
00:21:30.946 --> 00:21:33.532 align:center
Meet our new squad members.
00:21:33.699 --> 00:21:34.991 align:center
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.
00:21:35.158 --> 00:21:36.702 align:center
Hi. Great to meet you.
00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:41.623 align:center
So you got a little sausage
in your soup this year. BFD.
00:21:42.165 --> 00:21:44.960 align:center
- See you on the cheer field.
- It's that big chunk of grass...
00:21:45.127 --> 00:21:46.753 align:center
you come in last on, every year.
00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:48.714 align:center
Panthers out.
00:21:57.514 --> 00:21:58.849 align:center
Panthers out?
00:21:59.015 --> 00:22:00.600 align:center
What are they, a knife gang?
00:22:00.809 --> 00:22:03.520 align:center
- God, I hate them.
- I think they're kind of cool.
00:22:04.855 --> 00:22:06.440 align:center
I'm just saying.
00:22:15.683 --> 00:22:18.561 align:center
Hey. I'm Nick. This is Shawn.
00:22:19.270 --> 00:22:20.563 align:center
I'm Brewster.
00:22:21.730 --> 00:22:22.815 align:center
Not my real name.
00:22:22.982 --> 00:22:24.608 align:center
My parents named me Jack.
00:22:24.775 --> 00:22:29.280 align:center
Jack, so strong, so masculine.
We get it. You wanted a boy.
00:22:29.446 --> 00:22:33.242 align:center
My name's Jack. I punch bad guys,
and I kiss girls.
00:22:33.409 --> 00:22:35.286 align:center
- Save it.
- Okay.
00:22:35.452 --> 00:22:39.915 align:center
Now, just a quick FY información,
I'm kind of a neat freak...
00:22:40.082 --> 00:22:45.087 align:center
50 we'll get along great if you
just keep your area clean.
00:22:45.254 --> 00:22:46.422 align:center
And by "area," you mean?
00:22:46.589 --> 00:22:48.549 align:center
- Your bunks.
- Okay.
00:22:48.716 --> 00:22:51.093 align:center
I can't stand clutter.
That's why we left Calcutta.
00:22:51.260 --> 00:22:54.096 align:center
Well, that and my dad
took a job with United Airlines.
00:22:54.263 --> 00:22:56.682 align:center
Your jobs aren't just
going over there, sailor.
00:22:56.849 --> 00:23:00.769 align:center
Some of us are coming over here.
The world is flat like a son of a bitch.
00:23:00.936 --> 00:23:03.230 align:center
You're giving us a lot to process here.
00:23:04.773 --> 00:23:06.650 align:center
Hey, what's up, guys? I'm Adam.
00:23:06.817 --> 00:23:09.111 align:center
What's up, man?
Hey, I'm Nick. This is Shawn.
00:23:10.070 --> 00:23:11.113 align:center
Well, welcome, welcome.
00:23:11.280 --> 00:23:13.782 align:center
- Is that your girlfriend?
- Yeah.
00:23:14.450 --> 00:23:17.119 align:center
That's Jody. We've been cheering
together since we were 5.
00:23:18.287 --> 00:23:19.538 align:center
So you take this seriously?
00:23:19.705 --> 00:23:23.125 align:center
I wanna be the first in my family
to go to college on a cheer scholarship.
00:23:23.292 --> 00:23:25.669 align:center
Good luck, man.
I hope you break the cycle.
00:23:25.836 --> 00:23:27.004 align:center
- Thanks, man.
- Cool.
00:23:27.171 --> 00:23:28.214 align:center
What's up, Eagle?
00:23:29.632 --> 00:23:32.051 align:center
Mascots don't talk. They just gesture.
00:23:32.218 --> 00:23:35.262 align:center
- Even in their bunks?
- The whole time, baby girl.
00:23:35.971 --> 00:23:37.348 align:center
It's total immersion.
00:23:37.514 --> 00:23:39.558 align:center
Hey. Can someone
help me with my stuff?
00:23:39.767 --> 00:23:43.062 align:center
I got a huge bag of footballs,
beer, Xbox games.
00:23:43.229 --> 00:23:44.563 align:center
Let's get this party started.
00:23:44.772 --> 00:23:47.149 align:center
Finally, a kindred spirit.
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.
00:23:47.316 --> 00:23:49.360 align:center
- I'm Downey.
- What's up? Nice to meet you.
00:23:49.526 --> 00:23:52.655 align:center
Downey. Downey. All right,
so break it down for us.
00:23:52.821 --> 00:23:54.740 align:center
How great is this place?
00:23:54.907 --> 00:23:57.243 align:center
- It's sick, dude.
- Sweet. Right there.
00:23:57.409 --> 00:24:00.746 align:center
The coaches are amazing. Your
cheering's gonna be off the charts.
00:24:00.913 --> 00:24:03.999 align:center
My cheering's gonna be off the charts.
I guess that's a good thing.
00:24:04.166 --> 00:24:06.418 align:center
What about the ladies?
Tell me about the ladies.
00:24:06.585 --> 00:24:08.712 align:center
Oh, yeah, totally.
00:24:10.673 --> 00:24:13.092 align:center
Their cheering gets better too.
They see real progress.
00:24:15.719 --> 00:24:16.761 align:center
What the...?
00:24:17.888 --> 00:24:22.517 align:center
Wow, look at them all, dude. In rows.
It's like the hot-chick produce aisle.
00:24:22.726 --> 00:24:24.102 align:center
I don't know where to start.
00:24:24.269 --> 00:24:26.897 align:center
Do we go from tall to short
or blond to redhead?
00:24:27.063 --> 00:24:29.107 align:center
Maybe just iPod-shuffle mode.
00:24:29.274 --> 00:24:32.527 align:center
This is why I'd never wanna
be president. Too many decisions.
00:24:32.694 --> 00:24:34.863 align:center
Don't worry,
I don't think that's in the cards.
00:24:35.030 --> 00:24:39.034 align:center
You say that now, but George W.
Was a cheerleader at Yale.
00:24:39.201 --> 00:24:40.911 align:center
He never thought
he'd be president...
00:24:41.077 --> 00:24:44.372 align:center
snorting coke through his skull and
bones at a New Haven titty bar.
00:24:44.539 --> 00:24:46.208 align:center
You just never know, Shawnzy.
00:24:46.374 --> 00:24:49.836 align:center
And that is what makes America great.
Any idiot can be president.
00:24:50.003 --> 00:24:52.083 align:center
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!
00:24:53.131 --> 00:24:55.675 align:center
- Let's hear some noise over here!
- Noise over here!
00:24:55.842 --> 00:24:58.219 align:center
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!
00:24:58.386 --> 00:25:00.722 align:center
- Are you fired up?
- We're fired up!
00:25:00.889 --> 00:25:02.724 align:center
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!
00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:04.225 align:center
Not really.
00:25:04.392 --> 00:25:06.519 align:center
- How do you spell "fired up"?
- F-U!
00:25:06.686 --> 00:25:08.605 align:center
- What's that spell?
- Fired up!
00:25:08.813 --> 00:25:10.357 align:center
- Not really that way either.
- Nope.
00:25:10.523 --> 00:25:13.860 align:center
Damn straight. F-U.
You're at university now.
00:25:14.027 --> 00:25:15.737 align:center
- Fired Up University.
- This is awesome.
00:25:15.945 --> 00:25:19.240 align:center
Cheer college, my friends. None
of this high school stuff for you.
00:25:19.407 --> 00:25:23.244 align:center
You got three weeks. We're gonna
take it right to the top to F-U.
00:25:23.411 --> 00:25:25.538 align:center
- F-U!
- F-U!
00:25:27.749 --> 00:25:30.960 align:center
Howdy do? My name is Coach Keith.
I'm the skipper of this spirit ship.
00:25:31.127 --> 00:25:34.756 align:center
As many of you know, I was
the very first male cheerleader ever...
00:25:34.923 --> 00:25:36.925 align:center
to compete at the Nationals.
00:25:37.092 --> 00:25:38.968 align:center
I was born cheering.
00:25:39.135 --> 00:25:41.721 align:center
My mother swears
the first thing out of her what's-it...
00:25:41.888 --> 00:25:44.599 align:center
was a little pair of baby hands
doing spirit fingers.
00:25:47.894 --> 00:25:49.979 align:center
That's a joke, but it really happened.
00:25:51.064 --> 00:25:53.024 align:center
It is now my absolute pleasure...
00:25:53.191 --> 00:25:55.276 align:center
to introduce to you
your head counsellor...
00:25:55.443 --> 00:25:59.864 align:center
and my super-sexy handsome wife,
Diora. Let's bring her out here.
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:07.454 align:center
- What? Did he say wife?
- No, he couldn't have.
00:26:07.621 --> 00:26:08.664 align:center
Welcome, everyone.
00:26:08.873 --> 00:26:12.418 align:center
For the next three weeks, you'll train
with me and the other coaches...
00:26:12.585 --> 00:26:14.378 align:center
and then compete in a tournament...
00:26:14.545 --> 00:26:17.965 align:center
with the top teams going on
to the State Finals.
00:26:20.301 --> 00:26:23.470 align:center
So that would be the Panthers
and two other teams.
00:26:25.472 --> 00:26:27.975 align:center
- Oh, me, me, me.
- Yes, ma'am, right here.
00:26:28.142 --> 00:26:31.687 align:center
I heard that there was this really hard
move called the Fountain of Troy...
00:26:31.854 --> 00:26:33.647 align:center
that some team did at the Worlds.
00:26:33.814 --> 00:26:34.982 align:center
Are we gonna learn that?
00:26:35.149 --> 00:26:38.152 align:center
Sure, I'll teach you
how to do the Fountain of Troy.
00:26:39.320 --> 00:26:42.323 align:center
Then I'll teach you
to put makeup on a bear!
00:26:42.823 --> 00:26:44.491 align:center
Absolutely not.
00:26:44.658 --> 00:26:48.329 align:center
Not only is that move nearly impossible
to execute, it's extremely dangerous.
00:26:48.537 --> 00:26:50.331 align:center
That move is prohibidado.
00:26:50.539 --> 00:26:52.583 align:center
- Prohibi-what?
- Prohibidado.
00:26:52.750 --> 00:26:57.421 align:center
And I say that in Spanish because
that's how exotic and not-allowed it is.
00:26:57.588 --> 00:27:00.341 align:center
You can't even say "Fountain of Troy"
at this cheer camp.
00:27:00.507 --> 00:27:02.927 align:center
- Go ahead and say it.
- Fountain of Tr...!
00:27:03.093 --> 00:27:05.721 align:center
Stop it. What are you doing?
This isn't a game.
00:27:05.888 --> 00:27:07.514 align:center
I'm not playing around up here.
00:27:07.681 --> 00:27:08.849 align:center
Honey.
00:27:10.267 --> 00:27:12.478 align:center
It's just a joke.
First week of cheer camp.
00:27:13.020 --> 00:27:14.104 align:center
Lighten things up.
00:27:14.271 --> 00:27:16.774 align:center
Have a good time.
Everybody say it, "Fountain of Troy."
00:27:16.941 --> 00:27:20.027 align:center
- Fountain of Tr...!
- Oh, my dear Lord! Oh, gosh, shut up!
00:27:20.194 --> 00:27:22.029 align:center
He's lost his mind.
00:27:22.196 --> 00:27:25.032 align:center
Stop it! Nobody does the
Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp.
00:27:25.199 --> 00:27:27.701 align:center
Now, let's all hit the bunks
and get a good night's sleep.
00:27:27.868 --> 00:27:29.119 align:center
Welcome to cheer camp.
00:27:41.298 --> 00:27:42.299 align:center
Hi.
00:27:44.134 --> 00:27:47.179 align:center
Dibs, dibs. Dibs on the blond
with the butterfly tattoo.
00:27:47.346 --> 00:27:49.473 align:center
Dibs on that. I'd like that.
Tell me who it is.
00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:51.767 align:center
- This is Lanie Brown.
- Lanie Brown.
00:27:51.934 --> 00:27:55.145 align:center
She likes skiing, hip-hop, and playing
with her cat, Sir Pembleton.
00:27:55.312 --> 00:27:57.731 align:center
- Sir Pembleton? You serious?
- I know, I'm not kidding.
00:27:57.940 --> 00:28:00.150 align:center
I'm gonna write her name
in my book in no time.
00:28:00.317 --> 00:28:02.236 align:center
Can't believe you document
your conquests.
00:28:02.402 --> 00:28:04.655 align:center
Family owns a payroll company.
Love records.
00:28:04.822 --> 00:28:06.824 align:center
- It's just weird.
- Tell it to our dog, FICA.
00:28:06.990 --> 00:28:08.158 align:center
Oh, hey, Carly.
00:28:08.325 --> 00:28:09.660 align:center
What's up, Tigers?
00:28:10.035 --> 00:28:11.662 align:center
- Hey.
- Going to take a shower?
00:28:11.829 --> 00:28:14.373 align:center
Yeah. I had my hand
in some kid's mouth this morning.
00:28:14.623 --> 00:28:17.251 align:center
Good idea. I know where it's been.
00:28:17.417 --> 00:28:20.254 align:center
And if I don't get some
flesh-eating virus from that...
00:28:20.420 --> 00:28:22.673 align:center
I probably will
after I take a shower barefoot.
00:28:22.881 --> 00:28:25.509 align:center
- I forgot to pack my flip-flops.
- Sucks! See you later.
00:28:25.676 --> 00:28:27.302 align:center
Oh, here. Take mine.
00:28:29.179 --> 00:28:31.014 align:center
- I brought two pair.
- Really?
00:28:31.181 --> 00:28:33.767 align:center
Yeah. No problem.
We're teammates.
00:28:34.351 --> 00:28:35.394 align:center
Thanks.
00:28:38.772 --> 00:28:41.024 align:center
- Bye.
- See you later.
00:28:42.025 --> 00:28:45.904 align:center
Bro, what did I tell you? No hooking
up with girls from our school.
00:28:46.071 --> 00:28:48.198 align:center
- I was just being nice.
- I don't care, man.
00:28:48.365 --> 00:28:49.700 align:center
You know where nice leads.
00:28:49.867 --> 00:28:51.994 align:center
Do not poop where you eat,
remember?
00:28:52.202 --> 00:28:56.331 align:center
That's why there are no
restaurants called The Bathroom.
00:28:56.915 --> 00:28:59.167 align:center
There are bathrooms at restaurants.
00:28:59.710 --> 00:29:01.295 align:center
I was using a metaphor, Shawn.
00:29:01.503 --> 00:29:05.340 align:center
It is crazy that people think
that you're the smart one.
00:29:06.341 --> 00:29:07.926 align:center
What's up, ladies?
00:29:08.093 --> 00:29:09.386 align:center
Hi.
00:29:09.553 --> 00:29:12.639 align:center
You wanna borrow some flip-flops?
All right, see you later.
00:29:17.644 --> 00:29:20.564 align:center
Welcome to day one, everybody.
Let's start with a warm-up run.
00:29:20.856 --> 00:29:24.568 align:center
God, she's such a fox. I guarantee
I'm gonna tap that before we leave.
00:29:25.027 --> 00:29:27.571 align:center
Dude, she's married,
and like 30 years old.
00:29:27.738 --> 00:29:30.908 align:center
That's just how I like them:
ancient and regretful.
00:29:31.074 --> 00:29:33.201 align:center
Yeah. Take it easy on the Dove bars.
00:29:33.368 --> 00:29:34.848 align:center
- Ready, Shawnzy?
- Sure am, Nicholai.
00:29:35.328 --> 00:29:36.454 align:center
New guys, move them.
00:29:40.667 --> 00:29:43.294 align:center
I always knew there was
something else I should be doing.
00:29:43.461 --> 00:29:45.964 align:center
You know,
like there was something more.
00:29:46.881 --> 00:29:48.800 align:center
Something more inside me.
00:29:48.967 --> 00:29:52.011 align:center
I guess you could say
I had a cheer waiting to get out.
00:29:53.721 --> 00:29:56.724 align:center
And now, well, I live to cheer.
00:29:58.017 --> 00:30:01.020 align:center
And I cheer to live.
00:30:06.651 --> 00:30:08.528 align:center
I looked that little kitten
in the eyes...
00:30:08.695 --> 00:30:10.446 align:center
and I knew I had to take her home.
00:30:10.613 --> 00:30:15.034 align:center
And now, Sniffles,
that's who I tell my secrets to.
00:30:15.201 --> 00:30:17.120 align:center
My grandmother was a cheerleader.
00:30:17.287 --> 00:30:19.372 align:center
It was what she loved most
in the world.
00:30:19.747 --> 00:30:24.877 align:center
So when she died, I just
picked up the family pom-poms.
00:30:25.044 --> 00:30:28.339 align:center
This is weird.
I don't usually open up like this.
00:30:28.506 --> 00:30:32.176 align:center
It's weird.
I don't usually open up like this.
00:30:57.744 --> 00:30:59.704 align:center
Tigers!
00:31:00.330 --> 00:31:02.332 align:center
I love every bone in your body.
00:31:02.498 --> 00:31:04.584 align:center
Especially mine...?
00:31:28.191 --> 00:31:29.317 align:center
Tigers!
00:31:42.497 --> 00:31:46.084 align:center
Tigers can't be beat
Get up on your feet
00:31:46.250 --> 00:31:47.835 align:center
Tigers can't be beat
00:31:48.002 --> 00:31:50.880 align:center
Is it my imagination, or do they
not completely, totally suck?
00:31:51.047 --> 00:31:52.840 align:center
It's your imagination.
00:31:53.007 --> 00:31:54.884 align:center
Now go imagine me
a bottle of water.
00:31:55.802 --> 00:31:57.387 align:center
Tigers!
00:32:05.602 --> 00:32:08.605 align:center
The French say a day moon brings
good luck to whoever sees it.
00:32:08.772 --> 00:32:10.774 align:center
They also say 8-year-olds
should drink wine.
00:32:10.941 --> 00:32:14.611 align:center
And if it's a crescent moon,
it'll bring good luck for a week.
00:32:15.571 --> 00:32:16.947 align:center
What is it now?
00:32:17.114 --> 00:32:20.868 align:center
I'm jogging with the captain of the best
squad, so I'd say it's pretty crescent.
00:32:21.034 --> 00:32:22.786 align:center
- Race you.
- Cheering isn't a race.
00:32:22.953 --> 00:32:25.914 align:center
- This isn't football.
- There's a competition at the end.
00:32:26.081 --> 00:32:28.125 align:center
Yeah, you're right.
On your mark, get set...
00:32:29.376 --> 00:32:31.336 align:center
Oh, she cheats. I like it.
00:32:31.503 --> 00:32:32.671 align:center
Zucchini?
00:32:33.546 --> 00:32:36.424 align:center
Leafy greens? Kale? Jicama?
00:32:36.633 --> 00:32:37.676 align:center
And sprouts?
00:32:37.842 --> 00:32:40.178 align:center
That's the only thing
that sucks about cheer camp.
00:32:40.345 --> 00:32:42.097 align:center
The sacrifices I make for ass.
00:32:42.347 --> 00:32:45.267 align:center
Remember when I pretended to
be into Nickelback for that chick?
00:32:45.433 --> 00:32:48.395 align:center
- God, they suck.
- So did she. Up top.
00:32:48.561 --> 00:32:52.232 align:center
Dude, I am not gonna high-five you
for a beejer you got a year ago.
00:32:52.691 --> 00:32:54.359 align:center
That doesn't count. No.
00:32:55.526 --> 00:32:56.903 align:center
- Poppy.
- Hi, sis.
00:32:57.070 --> 00:32:58.738 align:center
Guys looking to go off-menu?
00:32:58.905 --> 00:33:02.033 align:center
I got Kit Kats, Snickers,
and German sweet tarts.
00:33:02.658 --> 00:33:04.577 align:center
Wipes out the taste
of every other candy.
00:33:07.038 --> 00:33:08.873 align:center
I'll take everything you got.
00:33:09.207 --> 00:33:12.251 align:center
Not here, Shawshank.
The screws are watching.
00:33:12.418 --> 00:33:15.254 align:center
Put it in the sycamore tree
out back.
00:33:16.005 --> 00:33:18.382 align:center
- Where's our candy gonna be?
- Check your pockets.
00:33:22.929 --> 00:33:25.723 align:center
I know. She's got the shine.
00:33:30.812 --> 00:33:33.064 align:center
Oh, my God, this is so good.
00:33:33.898 --> 00:33:34.941 align:center
Yeah, it is.
00:33:36.776 --> 00:33:37.777 align:center
Diora!
00:33:41.322 --> 00:33:42.907 align:center
Diora!
00:33:44.242 --> 00:33:45.284 align:center
God, it is you.
00:33:45.451 --> 00:33:47.328 align:center
The way the moonlight
caught your cheek...
00:33:47.495 --> 00:33:49.831 align:center
for a second there,
I thought you were an angel.
00:33:49.997 --> 00:33:51.999 align:center
Nope, just the head
counsellor who decides...
00:33:52.166 --> 00:33:54.585 align:center
whether or not to make you
run laps all tomorrow.
00:33:56.129 --> 00:33:58.005 align:center
God, I love it, huh?
00:33:58.214 --> 00:34:01.342 align:center
A little back and forth, witty repartee,
Hepburn and Tracy.
00:34:01.509 --> 00:34:03.511 align:center
I'm not 16, kiddo.
Run along and play.
00:34:03.761 --> 00:34:05.972 align:center
Still with the witty repartee,
that's terrific.
00:34:06.139 --> 00:34:09.559 align:center
- You win this round, Miss Tracy.
- Hepburn was the girl.
00:34:09.725 --> 00:34:11.519 align:center
Ding, ding. Knockout.
00:34:15.105 --> 00:34:17.608 align:center
It shouldn't be this hard,
she's like 100 years old.
00:34:17.983 --> 00:34:21.612 align:center
- Shawn. Got a second?
- Yeah. Sure.
00:34:22.696 --> 00:34:25.324 align:center
Some of the girls have been
talking about you and Nick.
00:34:25.490 --> 00:34:27.576 align:center
Don't believe anything anyone says.
00:34:27.743 --> 00:34:31.121 align:center
They've been saying they think this is
the best the team has ever been.
00:34:31.705 --> 00:34:33.582 align:center
Well, that you can believe.
00:34:33.749 --> 00:34:36.460 align:center
I just wanted to say thanks.
00:34:36.835 --> 00:34:38.962 align:center
You guys have been a big help.
00:34:39.796 --> 00:34:41.298 align:center
Especially you.
00:34:43.008 --> 00:34:44.343 align:center
Thanks.
00:34:44.509 --> 00:34:48.013 align:center
It's nice to know that when I get tossed,
you're gonna be there to catch me.
00:34:48.180 --> 00:34:50.098 align:center
I mean, not that Bianca wasn't good.
00:34:50.265 --> 00:34:53.977 align:center
It's just, I don't know. You feel right.
00:34:54.144 --> 00:34:56.313 align:center
I like it too.
You're like a home-run ball.
00:34:56.480 --> 00:35:00.317 align:center
Fifteen-inch brown trout.
A mild cold. Double feature.
00:35:00.484 --> 00:35:02.486 align:center
I get it. Things that you catch.
Shut up.
00:35:02.986 --> 00:35:04.154 align:center
I know at the beginning...
00:35:04.321 --> 00:35:07.115 align:center
I may have been against
you two joining the squad...
00:35:07.282 --> 00:35:09.660 align:center
I believe you called us
"godless douche-monsters."
00:35:09.826 --> 00:35:11.662 align:center
It was "soulless beav-wranglers."
00:35:11.828 --> 00:35:14.665 align:center
Well, that's better.
I totally misunderstood you.
00:35:14.831 --> 00:35:16.166 align:center
I'm trying to apologise here.
00:35:16.333 --> 00:35:18.585 align:center
No need. And accepted.
00:35:22.506 --> 00:35:24.049 align:center
Hey.
00:35:25.008 --> 00:35:28.512 align:center
You'd think as a cheerleader
I would be a little more graceful.
00:35:29.554 --> 00:35:32.974 align:center
I like you clumsy.
It's like I'm looking behind the curtain.
00:35:35.435 --> 00:35:36.561 align:center
Babe.
00:35:38.355 --> 00:35:39.439 align:center
Rick.
00:35:40.607 --> 00:35:42.359 align:center
Rick.
00:35:44.611 --> 00:35:47.030 align:center
- Who's the face-eater?
- Guys, come meet my boyfriend.
00:35:48.699 --> 00:35:51.952 align:center
- What is with that car?
- Maybe he won an LPGA tournament.
00:35:59.292 --> 00:36:00.585 align:center
I missed you.
00:36:00.751 --> 00:36:02.920 align:center
Me too. Definitely.
00:36:03.087 --> 00:36:04.964 align:center
Guys, this is my boyfriend.
00:36:05.131 --> 00:36:08.301 align:center
- Pre-fiancé, actually.
- These are the guys I told you about.
00:36:08.467 --> 00:36:11.304 align:center
- Nick and Shawn.
- What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Rick.
00:36:13.639 --> 00:36:14.682 align:center
Really?
00:36:16.309 --> 00:36:17.310 align:center
Pound?
00:36:17.476 --> 00:36:19.562 align:center
Aren't you a little young
to be a doctor?
00:36:19.729 --> 00:36:21.981 align:center
- He's pre-med.
- Then why call yourself "doctor"?
00:36:22.148 --> 00:36:23.608 align:center
Why put off the inevitable?
00:36:25.651 --> 00:36:27.653 align:center
You should get
that mole checked out.
00:36:27.820 --> 00:36:31.490 align:center
I'd do it myself,
but I don't have my bag on me.
00:36:32.325 --> 00:36:33.784 align:center
Your book bag?
00:36:33.951 --> 00:36:37.205 align:center
- How'd you two crazy kids meet, Rick?
- It's a funny story, actually.
00:36:37.413 --> 00:36:41.334 align:center
Our parents knew each other from
way back, and they introduced us.
00:36:45.171 --> 00:36:49.133 align:center
Not that funny a story. Not really
even a story. Just like a fact.
00:36:49.467 --> 00:36:51.636 align:center
We've been going out
since I was a sophomore.
00:36:51.844 --> 00:36:55.681 align:center
We should hit it, Carly. I told the guys
we'd be done dinner in 45.
00:36:55.932 --> 00:36:59.185 align:center
- The guys are with you?
- It was a long-ass drive, babe.
00:36:59.352 --> 00:37:02.480 align:center
You didn't want me falling asleep
at the wheel, did you?
00:37:02.671 --> 00:37:04.256 align:center
No, I'm glad you made it.
00:37:04.423 --> 00:37:07.718 align:center
Yeah, you're glad.
I got a rezzy at Red Lobster.
00:37:07.885 --> 00:37:10.971 align:center
We've got a booth in the back
behind a plant...
00:37:11.138 --> 00:37:14.183 align:center
So no one can see how much
we're all-you-can-eating.
00:37:14.725 --> 00:37:16.936 align:center
If you know what I'm saying, boys.
00:37:18.270 --> 00:37:20.689 align:center
Okay. Oh, Shawn.
I have something for you.
00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:28.113 align:center
Sweet deal you kids
got going on here.
00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:30.032 align:center
Wish I could hang out,
play all summer.
00:37:30.491 --> 00:37:33.410 align:center
I'm just a little busy
picking my speciality.
00:37:33.577 --> 00:37:35.704 align:center
Speciality? You're a freshman.
00:37:35.871 --> 00:37:38.666 align:center
Your speciality should be putting a cow
in the dean's office.
00:37:38.832 --> 00:37:41.085 align:center
Animal House reference. Love it!
00:37:44.531 --> 00:37:47.117 align:center
My mom sent mine,
so I don't need yours anymore.
00:37:47.284 --> 00:37:48.994 align:center
- Thanks.
- Sure.
00:37:50.496 --> 00:37:55.000 align:center
And, chief. Next time, if my girl needs
something, she can borrow it from me.
00:37:55.334 --> 00:37:58.128 align:center
Rick, he was just being nice.
00:37:58.295 --> 00:38:00.839 align:center
Those feet look pretty small.
What are they, a seven?
00:38:01.006 --> 00:38:02.591 align:center
Ten and a half, papo.
00:38:03.509 --> 00:38:05.677 align:center
Eleven in Crocs.
00:38:13.894 --> 00:38:17.022 align:center
What's the name of that girl
who was 5'7", blond hair, blue eyes?
00:38:17.189 --> 00:38:19.358 align:center
She's like a dragon.
Reminds me of Christmas.
00:38:20.526 --> 00:38:24.071 align:center
It's Carols, Care-holes, Car...
Caroline. Caroline.
00:38:24.321 --> 00:38:26.281 align:center
I'm running out of ink.
You got a pen?
00:38:26.532 --> 00:38:27.866 align:center
Mopey, I'm talking to you here.
00:38:28.033 --> 00:38:30.744 align:center
You been sitting out here staring
into space for two hours.
00:38:30.911 --> 00:38:33.705 align:center
- It's been five minutes.
- Really? That was five minutes?
00:38:33.872 --> 00:38:36.875 align:center
Guess I really do suck in bed.
00:38:37.376 --> 00:38:40.045 align:center
Get it? Like I think I'm Sting,
and in all reality...
00:38:40.212 --> 00:38:43.674 align:center
I'm like Chad Michael Murray
douching it out in five minutes.
00:38:43.841 --> 00:38:45.217 align:center
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
00:38:45.384 --> 00:38:47.177 align:center
- Come on, tell me.
- It's nothing.
00:38:47.344 --> 00:38:48.470 align:center
- Tell me.
- It's nothing.
00:38:48.637 --> 00:38:51.849 align:center
Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me...
00:38:52.015 --> 00:38:53.350 align:center
- Nick.
- Sorry.
00:38:54.059 --> 00:38:56.353 align:center
- Tell me?
- Carly's boyfriend's a real schwanz.
00:38:56.520 --> 00:38:59.064 align:center
Dude, you like her. I knew it.
I knew you liked her.
00:38:59.231 --> 00:39:00.941 align:center
- So? It's no big deal.
- No big deal?
00:39:01.108 --> 00:39:03.402 align:center
She's on our squad.
You're gonna ruin everything.
00:39:03.569 --> 00:39:07.239 align:center
Why you gotta do this, huh? Why you
gotta take a leak all over my dreams?
00:39:07.406 --> 00:39:09.491 align:center
Why you lay a hot toddy
all over my hopes?
00:39:09.658 --> 00:39:12.202 align:center
- You're being a little dramatic.
- Well, I have never.
00:39:12.411 --> 00:39:14.788 align:center
What makes this girl so great, bro?
00:39:14.955 --> 00:39:18.041 align:center
Yeah. What makes this girl
so great, bro?
00:39:18.208 --> 00:39:19.793 align:center
There's just something about her.
00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:21.680 align:center
You know when she bumped into me
on the bus?
00:39:22.696 --> 00:39:27.576 align:center
Or when I saw her reading that book.
That she orders pudding for dessert.
00:39:27.743 --> 00:39:30.579 align:center
Okay, now you're just listing things
that people do.
00:39:30.746 --> 00:39:32.373 align:center
No, I'm not.
00:39:32.539 --> 00:39:35.834 align:center
- Sometimes she writes with a pencil.
- So much worse than I thought.
00:39:36.293 --> 00:39:37.586 align:center
You're really into this girl.
00:39:37.753 --> 00:39:39.088 align:center
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
00:39:39.254 --> 00:39:41.298 align:center
Why is she with that knob-rocket?
00:39:41.465 --> 00:39:44.343 align:center
Enough already. You're even
depressing me, and I'm a Virgo.
00:39:44.510 --> 00:39:46.679 align:center
We have got to cheer you up.
00:39:47.179 --> 00:39:49.264 align:center
I'm two steps ahead of you, my man.
00:39:49.431 --> 00:39:51.684 align:center
All right, gentlemen, saddle up.
00:39:53.310 --> 00:39:55.437 align:center
Listen, ladies,
I couldn't help but notice...
00:39:55.604 --> 00:39:57.940 align:center
you were practising your lifts
on dry ground.
00:39:58.107 --> 00:39:59.817 align:center
Well, where else
would we practise?
00:40:00.067 --> 00:40:04.947 align:center
The pond. That's where the top teams
do. Water resistance, better training.
00:40:05.114 --> 00:40:07.074 align:center
Why do you think octopuses
have skinny arms?
00:40:07.241 --> 00:40:08.784 align:center
That sounds like a good idea.
00:40:08.993 --> 00:40:11.829 align:center
We can't. Our swimsuits are
all the way back at the bunks.
00:40:12.788 --> 00:40:16.041 align:center
We could just go in our underwear.
I mean, that's all swimsuits are.
00:40:16.208 --> 00:40:19.003 align:center
It's gonna be dark soon anyway,
SO no one would see us.
00:40:19.169 --> 00:40:22.923 align:center
I never thought about it like that,
but I guess you're right.
00:40:23.090 --> 00:40:25.634 align:center
Look at that. We're all here
thinking inside the box...
00:40:25.801 --> 00:40:28.053 align:center
and you're outside
playing a game of "What If?"
00:40:28.220 --> 00:40:31.598 align:center
Gorgeous and brilliant.
The triple threat.
00:40:32.307 --> 00:40:34.768 align:center
And we're off. Gentlemen, ladies.
00:40:35.477 --> 00:40:38.355 align:center
Adam, you've done enough
working out. Let's go.
00:40:42.526 --> 00:40:43.944 align:center
Oh, there it is.
00:40:48.282 --> 00:40:49.616 align:center
I am so excited.
00:40:49.783 --> 00:40:52.578 align:center
I have not been skinny dipping
since Indian Scouts.
00:40:53.871 --> 00:40:55.497 align:center
Nobody look.
00:40:56.373 --> 00:40:58.000 align:center
Windmill.
00:40:58.167 --> 00:41:01.086 align:center
We're leaving our underwear on.
We talked about this, remember?
00:41:01.253 --> 00:41:02.880 align:center
You talked. I listened.
00:41:04.048 --> 00:41:08.469 align:center
Paint the fence. Cutting the cake.
Hangman's noose. Hangman's noose.
00:41:08.635 --> 00:41:10.220 align:center
Incoming.
00:41:19.938 --> 00:41:25.027 align:center
Misjudged the depth.
It's all good. Learn from me.
00:41:59.603 --> 00:42:00.896 align:center
This feels great.
00:42:01.063 --> 00:42:03.232 align:center
It's the water resistance.
It helps strengthen.
00:42:03.398 --> 00:42:05.484 align:center
It's twice the compound,
half the measure...
00:42:05.651 --> 00:42:09.488 align:center
- and if you equivalate that to...
- Nick. Enough of that.
00:42:09.655 --> 00:42:11.824 align:center
- Enough of what?
- Drop the game.
00:42:11.990 --> 00:42:15.452 align:center
There are 300 girls at this camp
and only four straight guys.
00:42:15.619 --> 00:42:18.622 align:center
It's no mystery why you're ripping
through the place. So come on.
00:42:22.084 --> 00:42:23.585 align:center
Come on.
00:42:24.586 --> 00:42:26.046 align:center
Tick tock.
00:42:27.798 --> 00:42:29.967 align:center
Oh, all right.
00:42:36.974 --> 00:42:38.475 align:center
You're next.
00:42:40.394 --> 00:42:41.603 align:center
Ladies.
00:42:49.069 --> 00:42:51.488 align:center
- Where are our clothes?
- We left them right here.
00:42:51.655 --> 00:42:54.616 align:center
I know. That's why I'm saying,
"Where are our clothes?"
00:42:54.825 --> 00:42:58.745 align:center
I'm blazing a trail. I'm blazing a trail.
00:42:58.912 --> 00:43:00.330 align:center
See you guys.
00:43:00.497 --> 00:43:02.666 align:center
- Okay, have a great Thanksgiving.
- What?
00:43:02.833 --> 00:43:03.917 align:center
I don't know, I'm cold.
00:43:07.421 --> 00:43:09.715 align:center
- I'm cold and I'm flailing.
- I know, I know.
00:43:09.882 --> 00:43:11.216 align:center
How are you not flailing?
00:43:11.383 --> 00:43:13.594 align:center
I'm flailing. I, too, am also flailing.
00:43:13.844 --> 00:43:16.889 align:center
- So how was she?
- How was who?
00:43:17.055 --> 00:43:19.683 align:center
- The blond you were making time with.
- I wasn't.
00:43:19.850 --> 00:43:23.061 align:center
We just talked. She's really nice.
Her grandmother's from Cincinnati.
00:43:23.312 --> 00:43:25.397 align:center
She helped me on
my crossover basket launches.
00:43:25.564 --> 00:43:27.691 align:center
I can't believe how high
my extensions are.
00:43:27.858 --> 00:43:29.818 align:center
I don't know who you are anymore.
00:43:30.527 --> 00:43:32.529 align:center
Boys.
00:43:32.696 --> 00:43:34.865 align:center
What are you doing?
It's way past curfew.
00:43:35.032 --> 00:43:36.199 align:center
We were just...
00:43:38.201 --> 00:43:39.995 align:center
practising.
00:43:41.038 --> 00:43:42.372 align:center
- Yeah.
- Al dente?
00:43:42.748 --> 00:43:46.209 align:center
Yeah. We like to do cheers in the nude
so that they really sink in.
00:43:46.376 --> 00:43:49.212 align:center
That way our bodies learn it
as well as our minds.
00:43:50.130 --> 00:43:52.799 align:center
That's very Alvin Ailey of you.
I like it.
00:43:52.966 --> 00:43:55.719 align:center
- Proceed.
- Proceed with what, running away?
00:43:55.886 --> 00:43:57.721 align:center
No, with the cheer, you goose.
00:43:57.888 --> 00:44:01.224 align:center
Don't you wanna wait for
another coach? Or a witness?
00:44:01.391 --> 00:44:02.559 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
00:44:02.768 --> 00:44:03.977 align:center
- Ready?
- Okay.
00:44:04.144 --> 00:44:05.437 align:center
Hey, Tigers!
00:44:05.604 --> 00:44:06.939 align:center
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!
00:44:07.105 --> 00:44:10.817 align:center
Yeah? What do we like to eat?
Panther meat
00:44:10.984 --> 00:44:12.569 align:center
I said, hey, Tigers!
00:44:12.736 --> 00:44:14.237 align:center
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!
00:44:14.404 --> 00:44:17.866 align:center
Yeah? What do we like to do?
Defeat
00:44:18.367 --> 00:44:20.494 align:center
- Dude, your crankshaft.
- Two.
00:44:20.786 --> 00:44:23.455 align:center
Orange, black and white unite
00:44:23.622 --> 00:44:26.124 align:center
Tigers, Tigers, fight, fight, fight!
00:44:26.291 --> 00:44:28.001 align:center
Tailpipe.
00:44:30.045 --> 00:44:32.130 align:center
Your counts are off,
your spacing is insane...
00:44:32.297 --> 00:44:34.967 align:center
and your moves sloppier
than a kiss from a midshipman.
00:44:35.175 --> 00:44:38.011 align:center
- What?
- Take it from the top. Positions.
00:44:38.512 --> 00:44:39.846 align:center
Parallel positions!
00:44:40.013 --> 00:44:41.848 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
00:44:42.015 --> 00:44:45.268 align:center
Go bananas Go, go bananas
00:44:45.435 --> 00:44:49.106 align:center
Go bananas Go, go bananas
00:44:51.942 --> 00:44:53.944 align:center
You can put me down now.
00:44:54.111 --> 00:44:55.487 align:center
Oh, can 1?
00:44:56.405 --> 00:44:57.656 align:center
You jerk.
00:44:58.365 --> 00:44:59.408 align:center
Jack-knocker.
00:44:59.574 --> 00:45:01.201 align:center
Oh, look.
00:45:01.368 --> 00:45:04.121 align:center
- What are they doing?
- It's the Fountain of Troy.
00:45:04.287 --> 00:45:06.289 align:center
I thought that move
was prohibidimabido.
00:45:09.126 --> 00:45:11.044 align:center
- My face!
- It's okay, it's okay.
00:45:11.211 --> 00:45:13.338 align:center
What'd I tell you about
that Fountain of Troy?
00:45:13.505 --> 00:45:15.132 align:center
Look, you broke her face.
00:45:15.298 --> 00:45:16.508 align:center
Almost in half.
00:45:16.758 --> 00:45:18.736 align:center
Where am I gonna get another one
of those this late in the day?
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:20.637 align:center
Someone call a doctor!
00:45:20.804 --> 00:45:22.139 align:center
Damn, I wish Rick were here.
00:45:22.305 --> 00:45:25.225 align:center
Why, so he could ask someone
to call a doctor?
00:45:26.727 --> 00:45:28.812 align:center
Ever been to
a cheerleading competition?
00:45:28.979 --> 00:45:30.939 align:center
Oh, you mean like a football game?
00:45:31.106 --> 00:45:34.067 align:center
No, not a game.
Those are like practises for us.
00:45:34.234 --> 00:45:36.236 align:center
I'm talking about a tournament.
00:45:36.403 --> 00:45:40.282 align:center
ESPN cameras all around. Hundreds
of people in crowds cheering.
00:45:40.449 --> 00:45:43.243 align:center
Wait.
People cheering cheerleaders?
00:45:45.829 --> 00:45:47.873 align:center
You should be in the movies.
00:45:48.081 --> 00:45:51.334 align:center
You're hotter than all of these
cheerleaders rolled together.
00:45:52.169 --> 00:45:54.671 align:center
Cheerleaders rolled together.
00:45:57.215 --> 00:45:58.592 align:center
I gotta take a Louis Leakey.
00:45:58.759 --> 00:46:02.679 align:center
Listen, you, don't get any cuter
while I'm gone. I'm serious.
00:46:02.846 --> 00:46:06.099 align:center
And let me give you a little tip
from a cheerleader.
00:46:06.266 --> 00:46:09.770 align:center
Be aggressive B-E aggressive
00:46:11.646 --> 00:46:14.858 align:center
Where's that Jesse Bradford boy?
I love him. No, seriously.
00:46:15.025 --> 00:46:16.735 align:center
Seriously. I love him.
00:46:20.113 --> 00:46:21.573 align:center
I gotta be honest with you, man.
00:46:21.740 --> 00:46:24.076 align:center
I don't think I'm into
all this hooking up anymore.
00:46:24.242 --> 00:46:26.912 align:center
- It feels wrong.
- Yeah, it's supposed to feel wrong.
00:46:27.079 --> 00:46:28.705 align:center
No, I mean, I feel guilty.
00:46:28.872 --> 00:46:31.666 align:center
I don't know what you're saying.
Milty? Wilty?
00:46:31.833 --> 00:46:33.043 align:center
Something's not right.
00:46:33.210 --> 00:46:36.004 align:center
- Tilty?
- I've never felt this way before.
00:46:36.838 --> 00:46:37.881 align:center
Maquilty?
00:46:42.803 --> 00:46:44.471 align:center
Is that Dr. Rick?
00:46:47.849 --> 00:46:49.643 align:center
Awesome song.
00:46:50.435 --> 00:46:54.523 align:center
Dude, these local chicks are so easy.
It's like banging fish in a barrel.
00:46:54.689 --> 00:46:58.401 align:center
That Gina was a freak. I've got
bite marks all over my badonkadonk.
00:46:58.777 --> 00:47:01.363 align:center
Or was that Aubrey?
Whichever one smells like lavender.
00:47:01.529 --> 00:47:02.864 align:center
I got that stuff all over me.
00:47:03.031 --> 00:47:05.575 align:center
One of you smell my rod,
will you?
00:47:05.742 --> 00:47:07.369 align:center
Jesus. This guy's a dick.
00:47:07.535 --> 00:47:10.163 align:center
I don't get why you came here.
You don't even like Carly.
00:47:10.330 --> 00:47:12.707 align:center
I told you, man.
Our parents are old friends...
00:47:12.874 --> 00:47:16.252 align:center
which means they approve of her,
they give me anything I want...
00:47:16.419 --> 00:47:19.506 align:center
including this sick
3-series Beemer, with nav...
00:47:19.673 --> 00:47:21.591 align:center
that drove your fat ass up here.
00:47:21.758 --> 00:47:23.093 align:center
Rock it.
00:47:23.677 --> 00:47:25.512 align:center
Why you gotta take a shot
at my weight?
00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:27.013 align:center
You know I'm working on it.
00:47:27.222 --> 00:47:28.264 align:center
He's just using her.
00:47:28.473 --> 00:47:32.185 align:center
And he likes to get bit in
the badonkadonk, that sick bastard.
00:47:32.352 --> 00:47:33.395 align:center
I gotta tell her.
00:47:33.561 --> 00:47:36.773 align:center
- Yeah, no, buddy. Don't tell her.
- No, I have to.
00:47:36.982 --> 00:47:38.274 align:center
No, no, you really don't.
00:47:38.441 --> 00:47:39.567 align:center
Yeah, I kind of do.
00:47:39.734 --> 00:47:43.738 align:center
It's pretty obvious that you're gonna
go against everything I stand for...
00:47:43.905 --> 00:47:48.576 align:center
and poop where you eat, so at least
let me help you take that poop, okay?
00:47:48.743 --> 00:47:50.704 align:center
Trust me, bro, don't tell her.
00:47:50.870 --> 00:47:53.581 align:center
Why? She needs to find out
what kind of guy he really is.
00:47:53.748 --> 00:47:57.627 align:center
If you tell her, you'll be the guy who
told her her boyfriend is cheating.
00:47:57.794 --> 00:48:01.047 align:center
- Yeah?
- Bro, that's all you're ever gonna be.
00:48:01.214 --> 00:48:03.633 align:center
Best-case scenario,
she looks at you as a girlfriend.
00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:07.303 align:center
Worst-case scenario, she's pissed
at you for poking in her business.
00:48:07.512 --> 00:48:09.639 align:center
Either way, you're not poking
in her business.
00:48:10.724 --> 00:48:11.766 align:center
You marinate with that.
00:48:15.437 --> 00:48:17.856 align:center
- I hear you. That's good advice.
- It is good advice.
00:48:18.023 --> 00:48:19.899 align:center
- Thanks.
- That's what friends are for.
00:48:20.066 --> 00:48:21.234 align:center
- Are you good?
- I'm good.
00:48:21.443 --> 00:48:22.444 align:center
Carly!
00:48:23.236 --> 00:48:26.114 align:center
Hey, Carly. There's something
I have to tell you. Carly!
00:48:27.115 --> 00:48:29.034 align:center
I was wondering where you were.
00:48:29.200 --> 00:48:32.370 align:center
I was looking for you too.
But you go first. What's up?
00:48:32.537 --> 00:48:35.165 align:center
I was just wondering
about the moon.
00:48:35.331 --> 00:48:39.419 align:center
I mean, is it still crescent
or a half-moon?
00:48:39.586 --> 00:48:41.296 align:center
What the French
have to say about it?
00:48:42.922 --> 00:48:43.965 align:center
I'm an idiot.
00:48:44.132 --> 00:48:48.386 align:center
No. No, it's a waxing crescent moon
tonight, and you're not an idiot.
00:48:48.553 --> 00:48:50.972 align:center
Unless you don't know
what "waxing" means.
00:48:51.139 --> 00:48:54.059 align:center
I'm a cheerleader,
I know what "waxing" means.
00:48:55.268 --> 00:48:57.520 align:center
- Carly horse.
- Rick.
00:48:57.687 --> 00:49:00.690 align:center
- That's what he calls you?
- Yeah. He means it cute.
00:49:03.276 --> 00:49:06.488 align:center
- What's up, high school?
- You smell like lavender.
00:49:06.988 --> 00:49:08.531 align:center
Yeah.
00:49:08.698 --> 00:49:11.284 align:center
We're learning about the effects
of lavender therapy...
00:49:11.493 --> 00:49:13.203 align:center
on type-two carcinoma patients.
00:49:13.369 --> 00:49:18.291 align:center
How's that working out? Anyone go
into remission after smelling a flower?
00:49:20.794 --> 00:49:22.629 align:center
All right, you caught me, man.
00:49:24.380 --> 00:49:28.635 align:center
- I picked you some flowers, Carly.
- That is so sweet. Where are they?
00:49:29.511 --> 00:49:32.180 align:center
I made a special wish on them
and threw them into the sky.
00:49:32.555 --> 00:49:33.681 align:center
That is so romantic.
00:49:33.848 --> 00:49:37.519 align:center
We should hit it, Carlito's Way. I told
the guys I'd be done with dinner in 40.
00:49:38.186 --> 00:49:39.687 align:center
I'll see you at practise?
00:49:39.854 --> 00:49:42.273 align:center
Shawn here is a great
leather-basket tosser.
00:49:43.650 --> 00:49:45.401 align:center
What a great trick.
00:49:45.568 --> 00:49:47.028 align:center
Not as good as yours.
00:49:47.278 --> 00:49:49.030 align:center
I'll see you tomorrow, Shawn.
00:50:05.505 --> 00:50:08.174 align:center
- Awesome date.
- I'll see you at the competition?
00:50:08.341 --> 00:50:10.009 align:center
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
00:50:17.517 --> 00:50:18.518 align:center
Bye.
00:50:21.854 --> 00:50:25.608 align:center
I like you a lot, Carles Barkley.
You're one of the good ones, babe.
00:50:45.712 --> 00:50:47.880 align:center
You know what reminds me
of the better times?
00:50:48.047 --> 00:50:52.135 align:center
Before Carly started hanging out
with those two little suck-buckets.
00:50:52.343 --> 00:50:53.845 align:center
Something's up with them.
00:50:54.012 --> 00:50:56.055 align:center
Wanna stay and do some digging?
00:50:56.222 --> 00:50:58.474 align:center
Big-time. You know why?
00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:09.277 align:center
Awesome song. Chumbawamba.
It's the soundtrack to my life, man.
00:51:15.408 --> 00:51:18.328 align:center
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
00:51:18.494 --> 00:51:20.121 align:center
Go, Tigers!
00:51:20.330 --> 00:51:23.166 align:center
Cradle. One, two.
00:51:26.544 --> 00:51:28.838 align:center
Great job, guys.
Let's take a little water break.
00:51:29.005 --> 00:51:31.466 align:center
Are my hips rotating too late
before the final toss?
00:51:31.632 --> 00:51:34.802 align:center
I wasn't gonna say anything,
but you gotta rotate and then catch.
00:51:34.969 --> 00:51:36.763 align:center
Rotate, then catch.
00:51:36.929 --> 00:51:39.724 align:center
- We're out of water.
- We need two volunteers to refill.
00:51:39.891 --> 00:51:41.059 align:center
- I'll go.
- Me too.
00:51:42.685 --> 00:51:44.771 align:center
Dude, don't go. Hey, Shawn.
00:51:45.521 --> 00:51:46.564 align:center
God...
00:51:46.731 --> 00:51:49.108 align:center
That was really good.
Keep it up, okay?
00:51:49.901 --> 00:51:51.361 align:center
Hi.
00:51:53.112 --> 00:51:55.531 align:center
Listen, I don't know
if I've told you this yet...
00:51:55.698 --> 00:51:59.035 align:center
but your coaching, I mean,
it's been incredible.
00:51:59.243 --> 00:52:03.331 align:center
And whatever happens between us,
you've made me a better cheerleader.
00:52:03.539 --> 00:52:06.459 align:center
- And for that, I owe you...
- You have some food in your teeth.
00:52:07.418 --> 00:52:10.880 align:center
And your pecs are uneven.
Make sure you don't favour one side.
00:52:11.464 --> 00:52:12.632 align:center
Always coaching.
00:52:13.841 --> 00:52:15.259 align:center
God bless you!
00:52:17.095 --> 00:52:18.721 align:center
Why can't I crack this?
00:52:18.888 --> 00:52:19.972 align:center
Damn it.
00:52:20.348 --> 00:52:21.641 align:center
So...
00:52:21.849 --> 00:52:25.812 align:center
how often did you see Dr. Rick
during the school year?
00:52:25.978 --> 00:52:29.440 align:center
I don't know why he keeps calling
himself that. It's kind of douchey.
00:52:29.607 --> 00:52:31.943 align:center
Oh, no, no, no. It's super cool.
00:52:32.819 --> 00:52:34.946 align:center
I can't believe he's my pre-fiancé.
00:52:35.113 --> 00:52:37.240 align:center
I remember when I was 7,
I decided...
00:52:37.407 --> 00:52:40.451 align:center
that I was not gonna get married
until I was 34.
00:52:40.618 --> 00:52:44.789 align:center
- That's very specific.
- Oh, I had it all thought out.
00:52:44.956 --> 00:52:47.333 align:center
High school, college,
a year abroad in Greece...
00:52:47.500 --> 00:52:50.503 align:center
and because, don't laugh,
I always loved Greek salad.
00:52:50.670 --> 00:52:54.632 align:center
Tomatoes, cucumbers, feta.
No, that makes perfect sense.
00:52:54.799 --> 00:52:56.008 align:center
I know. It's silly.
00:52:56.175 --> 00:52:58.010 align:center
I love that you had it
all planned out.
00:52:58.177 --> 00:53:01.514 align:center
- You know what John Lennon said.
- Not really. I'm not in my 50s.
00:53:01.681 --> 00:53:02.765 align:center
I could ask my dad.
00:53:02.932 --> 00:53:05.643 align:center
"Life is what happens when
you're busy making other plans."
00:53:06.018 --> 00:53:07.353 align:center
Yeah.
00:53:15.695 --> 00:53:17.530 align:center
Damn, this is heavy.
00:53:17.697 --> 00:53:20.032 align:center
Are you okay? You look hot.
Do you want some water?
00:53:20.199 --> 00:53:21.659 align:center
- Yeah, sure. Thanks.
- Here.
00:53:25.705 --> 00:53:28.541 align:center
Did you say I looked hot?
I'm pretty sure that's what I heard.
00:53:28.708 --> 00:53:31.419 align:center
- I heard you screaming like a girl.
- Oh, really?
00:53:31.586 --> 00:53:33.796 align:center
Oh, my God. Don't move.
There's a bee on you.
00:53:33.963 --> 00:53:36.716 align:center
What? No. Get it off.
00:53:38.301 --> 00:53:39.719 align:center
You little bitch!
00:53:42.555 --> 00:53:44.891 align:center
All right, week three of cheer camp,
here we come.
00:53:45.057 --> 00:53:47.059 align:center
I love the smell of pom-pom
in the morning.
00:53:47.226 --> 00:53:48.686 align:center
Let's do this.
00:53:49.729 --> 00:53:51.939 align:center
- Where you going?
- Post-breakfast practise.
00:53:52.106 --> 00:53:55.568 align:center
And then, you know, Carly and I are
gonna work on reverse cartwheels.
00:53:55.735 --> 00:53:59.405 align:center
My left foot keeps hitching when
I do my inverse swing-over. It's like:
00:53:59.572 --> 00:54:01.991 align:center
Take it easy.
We're done with this, all right?
00:54:02.200 --> 00:54:03.743 align:center
Week three. Hit it and quit it.
00:54:03.910 --> 00:54:06.579 align:center
Oh, no, we gotta...
We gotta stay longer.
00:54:06.746 --> 00:54:09.499 align:center
Dude, it's time to go.
Remember Mookie's dad's house?
00:54:09.665 --> 00:54:11.083 align:center
The plasmas and the Jacuzzis.
00:54:11.250 --> 00:54:14.337 align:center
Yeah, but I just... I think
we should stay just a touch longer.
00:54:14.504 --> 00:54:16.464 align:center
I'm done. All right?
I've had enough girl.
00:54:16.631 --> 00:54:19.342 align:center
Breadsticks only keep you
at the Olive Garden for so long.
00:54:19.509 --> 00:54:20.843 align:center
Till, at some point, you say:
00:54:21.052 --> 00:54:23.346 align:center
"Why am I at Olive Garden
with these fat people?"
00:54:23.513 --> 00:54:25.139 align:center
- What? No...
- Let's go.
00:54:25.306 --> 00:54:28.059 align:center
- Let's talk about this.
- All right, let's go. Let's pack.
00:54:28.267 --> 00:54:29.936 align:center
Let's just dialogue for a second.
00:54:30.102 --> 00:54:32.563 align:center
- We don't have to go right now.
- Yeah, we do.
00:54:32.730 --> 00:54:35.399 align:center
The bus leaves in an hour.
Next one's not until tomorrow.
00:54:35.566 --> 00:54:38.069 align:center
Yeah, but come on, man.
What about our squad?
00:54:38.236 --> 00:54:40.029 align:center
You know,
the competition's coming up.
00:54:40.196 --> 00:54:42.949 align:center
Dude, the squad? The competition?
Listen to yourself.
00:54:43.115 --> 00:54:45.368 align:center
We had a deal. Two weeks. Right?
00:54:45.535 --> 00:54:47.954 align:center
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang,
sayonara, cheer camp.
00:54:48.120 --> 00:54:50.122 align:center
We are leaving
We, we are leaving
00:54:50.289 --> 00:54:51.374 align:center
We are leaving
00:54:51.707 --> 00:54:53.292 align:center
Now, come on, dude, start packing.
00:54:53.459 --> 00:54:56.462 align:center
I need a little bit more time with Carly.
There. I said it. Okay?
00:54:56.629 --> 00:54:59.298 align:center
I know you think that's lame,
but can you give me one day?
00:54:59.465 --> 00:55:01.968 align:center
That's not lame, bro. That's gay.
00:55:02.134 --> 00:55:05.638 align:center
Well, technically, pursuing a woman
you have heterosexual feelings for...
00:55:05.805 --> 00:55:07.306 align:center
that's not gay, Nick.
00:55:07.473 --> 00:55:10.601 align:center
But using a rotating inverse
swing-over to do it? Yeah, that is.
00:55:10.768 --> 00:55:14.564 align:center
Shawn. Don't forget we're gonna
go over our reverse cartwheels.
00:55:14.730 --> 00:55:17.149 align:center
- Okay, I'll be right there.
- See you there.
00:55:17.316 --> 00:55:18.901 align:center
All right. Right behind him.
00:55:19.068 --> 00:55:22.071 align:center
All right, come on, man, let's go.
You know the deal.
00:55:22.572 --> 00:55:24.907 align:center
And trust me,
you're gonna thank me for this.
00:55:25.950 --> 00:55:28.786 align:center
All right, let's go, Shawnzy.
And no more moping. All right?
00:55:28.953 --> 00:55:31.497 align:center
Not an attractive colour on you,
nor is orange and grey.
00:55:31.664 --> 00:55:33.332 align:center
Takes away from your eyes.
00:55:41.799 --> 00:55:45.344 align:center
Damn it, damn it, damn it...
00:55:51.142 --> 00:55:52.184 align:center
What are you doing?
00:55:52.351 --> 00:55:54.812 align:center
Well, probably making
the biggest mistake of my life.
00:55:54.979 --> 00:55:57.106 align:center
Except that year
I wore that leather wristband.
00:55:57.273 --> 00:56:00.651 align:center
How did I possibly think that's cool,
you know? I'm not a blacksmith.
00:56:00.818 --> 00:56:02.445 align:center
That was a little Nickelback-y.
00:56:02.612 --> 00:56:04.947 align:center
You like this girl,
you're my boy, we stay.
00:56:05.114 --> 00:56:06.866 align:center
Well, what about Mookie's house?
00:56:07.033 --> 00:56:08.618 align:center
Are you coming or not?
00:56:09.702 --> 00:56:12.204 align:center
Are you sure we are staying?
We, we are staying?
00:56:12.371 --> 00:56:15.041 align:center
No, I'm not sure,
so don't turn a yes into a no.
00:56:15.207 --> 00:56:17.293 align:center
Thank you, Nick.
Thank you so much, man.
00:56:17.460 --> 00:56:19.462 align:center
I know you don't like
man-to-man touching...
00:56:19.629 --> 00:56:23.174 align:center
but my arm is on your shoulder.
Here comes my arm right now.
00:56:23.341 --> 00:56:25.301 align:center
-Another day
-Another holler
00:56:25.468 --> 00:56:29.722 align:center
You're wasting my precious breath.
I can't hear you.
00:56:29.889 --> 00:56:31.974 align:center
-Another day
-Another holler
00:56:32.141 --> 00:56:34.101 align:center
-Another day
-Another holler
00:56:34.268 --> 00:56:35.311 align:center
Another day
00:56:36.270 --> 00:56:37.897 align:center
Hey, bro, got a second?
00:56:39.106 --> 00:56:40.566 align:center
Wrong section of the woods.
00:56:40.733 --> 00:56:43.235 align:center
You want the northeast corner
near the redwoods.
00:56:43.569 --> 00:56:46.947 align:center
What? I wanna know if you know
two dudes named Nick and Shawn.
00:56:47.615 --> 00:56:50.368 align:center
Yeah. They're my bunkmates. Why?
00:56:51.744 --> 00:56:56.582 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight. One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
00:56:58.501 --> 00:57:00.044 align:center
- Angela, no.
- Are you okay?
00:57:00.211 --> 00:57:02.922 align:center
Easy, Tiger. Easy, Tiger.
00:57:04.507 --> 00:57:08.219 align:center
- I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine.
- You all right?
00:57:08.386 --> 00:57:09.512 align:center
I'm okay.
00:57:11.430 --> 00:57:13.599 align:center
Sorry, guys, I just suck.
00:57:13.766 --> 00:57:17.353 align:center
- It's not just you. We all kind of suck.
- We're not good at all.
00:57:17.937 --> 00:57:21.190 align:center
- Hey, stop. Stop talking like that.
- But it's true.
00:57:21.357 --> 00:57:22.942 align:center
We're just not that good.
00:57:23.776 --> 00:57:24.944 align:center
Stop.
00:57:25.111 --> 00:57:28.197 align:center
Enough of that.
You can go as far as you want.
00:57:29.031 --> 00:57:31.117 align:center
What do the Panthers have
that you don't have?
00:57:31.283 --> 00:57:32.493 align:center
- Skills.
- Athleticism.
00:57:32.660 --> 00:57:34.203 align:center
- Kickass cheers.
- Hair removal.
00:57:34.370 --> 00:57:36.872 align:center
Big-ass titties. I'm just saying.
00:57:37.039 --> 00:57:39.875 align:center
Confidence.
They're cocky assholes.
00:57:40.042 --> 00:57:43.546 align:center
Like Nick, the cockiest asshole on the
football field. That's why he's good.
00:57:43.713 --> 00:57:45.965 align:center
- I'm awesome.
- Because he believes in himself.
00:57:46.132 --> 00:57:47.299 align:center
Also because I'm awesome.
00:57:47.466 --> 00:57:50.594 align:center
He knows he's gonna be good,
so he's good. And he takes chances.
00:57:50.761 --> 00:57:52.471 align:center
Due to the fact that I'm awesome.
00:57:52.638 --> 00:57:55.474 align:center
- Nick. Trying to make a speech here.
- I'm sorry.
00:57:55.641 --> 00:57:58.269 align:center
Either bet big or go home.
00:57:58.561 --> 00:58:01.814 align:center
If you don't wanna take any chances,
then you shouldn't even be here.
00:58:02.064 --> 00:58:05.484 align:center
I know you wanna be here, because
you finish last every single year...
00:58:05.651 --> 00:58:07.278 align:center
but you keep coming back...
00:58:07.445 --> 00:58:09.613 align:center
even if it means
taking endless shit...
00:58:09.780 --> 00:58:12.324 align:center
from total dong-knockers
like the Panthers.
00:58:12.491 --> 00:58:14.076 align:center
I wanna cut the blond one.
00:58:14.243 --> 00:58:15.494 align:center
- What?
- What?
00:58:15.661 --> 00:58:17.246 align:center
- What?
- What?
00:58:17.413 --> 00:58:20.166 align:center
- What?
- I'm just saying.
00:58:20.958 --> 00:58:23.252 align:center
Come on, guys.
Let's be cocky assholes.
00:58:23.418 --> 00:58:24.836 align:center
He's right.
00:58:25.003 --> 00:58:26.046 align:center
And I can say that...
00:58:26.213 --> 00:58:29.883 align:center
because I am the best cheerleader
here, so you can all suck my dick.
00:58:32.677 --> 00:58:34.387 align:center
I was just being a cocky asshole.
00:58:34.596 --> 00:58:38.183 align:center
Oh, nice. Did you see
what she was doing there?
00:58:38.349 --> 00:58:40.852 align:center
That's exactly what I want
from everybody.
00:58:41.019 --> 00:58:42.645 align:center
All right, let's do this.
00:58:42.812 --> 00:58:46.274 align:center
And remember, you're awesome.
Let's risk it to get the biscuit.
00:58:46.441 --> 00:58:47.859 align:center
All right, get cocky, bitches.
00:58:51.196 --> 00:58:53.364 align:center
- Let's do it. Come on, guys.
- Ready.
00:58:53.573 --> 00:58:54.824 align:center
Hit it!
00:58:54.991 --> 00:58:57.202 align:center
All you chumps
Think you got poise
00:58:57.368 --> 00:58:59.537 align:center
You prance around like little toys
00:58:59.704 --> 00:59:01.956 align:center
Do you really think
You can make some noise?
00:59:02.123 --> 00:59:04.000 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
00:59:04.167 --> 00:59:05.502 align:center
Tigers!
00:59:05.668 --> 00:59:07.378 align:center
- Get cocky.
- Get cocky.
00:59:08.129 --> 00:59:10.089 align:center
Come on, everybody.
00:59:12.675 --> 00:59:14.219 align:center
Let's go, tigres.
00:59:15.553 --> 00:59:17.055 align:center
There it is.
00:59:19.891 --> 00:59:20.892 align:center
All right, get cocky.
00:59:21.059 --> 00:59:22.310 align:center
Here we go, here we go.
00:59:22.477 --> 00:59:23.603 align:center
Keep it tight.
00:59:38.243 --> 00:59:39.577 align:center
Everybody, let's work.
00:59:48.836 --> 00:59:53.424 align:center
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
00:59:53.591 --> 00:59:54.717 align:center
There it is.
00:59:54.884 --> 00:59:56.344 align:center
Go big, Shawnzy.
00:59:57.178 --> 00:59:58.513 align:center
I'm doing it, brother.
01:00:02.767 --> 01:00:05.228 align:center
Awesome. So much better.
01:00:14.070 --> 01:00:15.113 align:center
Tigers!
01:00:16.155 --> 01:00:19.450 align:center
All right, la tigres. Come on.
01:00:19.659 --> 01:00:21.869 align:center
That's my girls,
bringing some A-game.
01:00:22.579 --> 01:00:24.122 align:center
You are some cocky bitches.
01:00:24.289 --> 01:00:27.625 align:center
I think it's safe to say that you guys
are now officially Tigers.
01:00:27.792 --> 01:00:29.711 align:center
- Right, girls?
- All right.
01:00:29.877 --> 01:00:31.296 align:center
One, two, three.
01:00:31.462 --> 01:00:32.839 align:center
Tigers!
01:00:33.381 --> 01:00:35.883 align:center
One, two, three, frauds!
01:00:36.301 --> 01:00:38.803 align:center
- Rick?
- These two have been playing you.
01:00:38.970 --> 01:00:41.222 align:center
They didn't come
because they like cheerleading.
01:00:41.389 --> 01:00:43.600 align:center
They came here because
they like cheerleaders.
01:00:43.766 --> 01:00:46.060 align:center
- Yeah, we know.
- Everyone knows.
01:00:46.227 --> 01:00:48.104 align:center
Why are you here?
What's going on, Rick?
01:00:48.271 --> 01:00:51.149 align:center
- Bus tickets.
- Damn it.
01:00:51.316 --> 01:00:54.319 align:center
Your friends were planning on leaving
before the competition...
01:00:54.485 --> 01:00:57.614 align:center
without any feeling for anyone
they may have left in their wake.
01:00:57.780 --> 01:00:59.240 align:center
- Animals.
- You were gonna leave?
01:00:59.407 --> 01:01:02.744 align:center
Well, we were gonna, but we didn't.
That's way before you and I ever...
01:01:02.910 --> 01:01:05.580 align:center
- You were gonna do this to the squad?
- I can explain.
01:01:05.747 --> 01:01:09.500 align:center
I can't believe you. I mean,
I knew you were here to get girls, but...
01:01:09.667 --> 01:01:11.961 align:center
- I thought you started to get into it.
- I did.
01:01:12.128 --> 01:01:15.340 align:center
It started off being about girls,
but then it became about you.
01:01:15.506 --> 01:01:18.343 align:center
- Wait, that doesn't sound right.
- That sounds exactly right.
01:01:18.467 --> 01:01:20.010 align:center
Bail, brother. Bail.
01:01:20.219 --> 01:01:21.846 align:center
I really like you, Carly.
01:01:22.012 --> 01:01:23.389 align:center
That's close enough, dicklick.
01:01:23.556 --> 01:01:27.560 align:center
This is how you show someone you
like them, Shawn? By lying to them?
01:01:27.792 --> 01:01:30.628 align:center
To be fair, he lied to you
before he really cared...
01:01:30.795 --> 01:01:34.257 align:center
then he tried super hard to word it
so it wouldn't be a lie after that.
01:01:34.423 --> 01:01:36.008 align:center
Just so we're on the same page.
01:01:36.968 --> 01:01:39.971 align:center
If these weren't tools for healing,
I would crack you in the jaw.
01:01:40.137 --> 01:01:42.056 align:center
- You're a tool for healing.
- That's right.
01:01:42.223 --> 01:01:44.141 align:center
You're the guy
who's fancy with his words.
01:01:44.308 --> 01:01:46.936 align:center
Well, then, why don't
I just read your diary.
01:01:47.103 --> 01:01:49.981 align:center
- Where did you get that?
- I've done a bad thing. I'm so sorry.
01:01:50.147 --> 01:01:53.067 align:center
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Suzy,
right now. He tricked me.
01:01:53.234 --> 01:01:54.735 align:center
You tricked me.
01:01:54.902 --> 01:01:56.320 align:center
This is how it happened.
01:01:57.113 --> 01:01:58.155 align:center
Brewster!
01:01:58.322 --> 01:02:01.325 align:center
He said he wanted to leave you a note,
I brought him to the bunk.
01:02:01.492 --> 01:02:03.327 align:center
He must've seen
your stuff on the couch.
01:02:03.494 --> 01:02:06.080 align:center
- Why was it on the couch?
- I was cleaning up your mess.
01:02:06.247 --> 01:02:08.374 align:center
I told you I can't stand clutter.
I warned you.
01:02:08.541 --> 01:02:12.003 align:center
- Give me the book back.
- "Cheer camp, day one.
01:02:12.920 --> 01:02:16.132 align:center
The sun rises in the summer sky...
01:02:16.299 --> 01:02:19.427 align:center
like Rembrandt's brush
on a dogwood branch."
01:02:20.219 --> 01:02:22.680 align:center
- Queeratron.
- Let's go. Give it to me.
01:02:23.514 --> 01:02:26.017 align:center
Back up, Abercrombie & Bitch.
01:02:27.852 --> 01:02:29.645 align:center
"And thereby Diora..."
01:02:34.358 --> 01:02:38.362 align:center
"I lie awake thinking, will I ever say
'Diora, ' as a whisper in an ear?
01:02:38.529 --> 01:02:41.324 align:center
Will she ever say "I love you,"
in a moment with a tear?"
01:02:41.490 --> 01:02:44.160 align:center
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
01:02:46.037 --> 01:02:48.372 align:center
Carly, I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
01:02:48.539 --> 01:02:52.209 align:center
Just leave, okay? Just leave
like you always planned on doing.
01:02:52.376 --> 01:02:55.212 align:center
Carly, please, let me explain.
Give me just one second.
01:02:55.379 --> 01:02:57.214 align:center
See you later, high school.
01:02:57.381 --> 01:03:00.217 align:center
I didn't write that. I bought the book.
It was in there.
01:03:00.384 --> 01:03:01.719 align:center
It was beautiful.
01:03:02.553 --> 01:03:03.804 align:center
Thanks.
01:03:07.224 --> 01:03:09.185 align:center
Never really thought of that one.
01:03:09.352 --> 01:03:12.855 align:center
Using one's true feelings
to wrangle snooch.
01:03:13.898 --> 01:03:15.399 align:center
So simple.
01:03:30.039 --> 01:03:32.917 align:center
So we lied and we got caught.
So what, huh?
01:03:33.084 --> 01:03:34.835 align:center
We're humans. Humans lie.
01:03:35.002 --> 01:03:38.422 align:center
They tell big gigantic two-week-long
lies because they're humans.
01:03:38.589 --> 01:03:41.342 align:center
Stop saying "humans." We did this.
01:03:41.509 --> 01:03:43.135 align:center
Because we're humans.
01:03:43.302 --> 01:03:46.263 align:center
All right, humans are
the only species that can lie.
01:03:46.764 --> 01:03:49.058 align:center
Except for maybe chameleons.
01:03:49.767 --> 01:03:52.186 align:center
And possums. They play dead.
01:03:55.606 --> 01:03:56.774 align:center
What's that?
01:03:56.941 --> 01:04:00.111 align:center
It's Downey's bracelet.
Yeah, I love that kid, huh?
01:04:00.277 --> 01:04:02.613 align:center
Said it was cool, so he gave it to me.
How nice.
01:04:02.780 --> 01:04:05.866 align:center
Those are his... beads, bro.
01:04:06.033 --> 01:04:08.285 align:center
Downey liked you.
Like, "liked you" liked you.
01:04:08.452 --> 01:04:11.122 align:center
What? That's crazy.
Downey isn't gay.
01:04:11.288 --> 01:04:14.208 align:center
Nick, come on. Think about it.
01:04:14.750 --> 01:04:16.502 align:center
I'm Nick. This is Shawn.
01:04:16.669 --> 01:04:19.630 align:center
- What's up? I'm Downey.
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
01:04:19.797 --> 01:04:23.426 align:center
Put it in there.
A little cheer camp. Crazy good times.
01:04:23.592 --> 01:04:24.927 align:center
Yeah. It's gonna be fun.
01:04:25.094 --> 01:04:27.513 align:center
Panther meat!
I said, hey, Tigers!
01:04:27.680 --> 01:04:29.807 align:center
- Yeah?
- Hey, Tigers!
01:04:30.975 --> 01:04:32.101 align:center
Diora.
01:04:32.268 --> 01:04:34.228 align:center
Hey, Nick.
You wanna go out on the field...
01:04:34.395 --> 01:04:36.439 align:center
and maybe count shooting stars
with me?
01:04:36.605 --> 01:04:38.941 align:center
You're classic, Downey. Classic.
01:04:46.142 --> 01:04:47.893 align:center
Raw-hamburger fight!
01:05:02.491 --> 01:05:03.826 align:center
I'm hit.
01:05:05.369 --> 01:05:08.747 align:center
Medic!
This man needs some jocks-ygen.
01:05:09.415 --> 01:05:11.458 align:center
Come on, we're losing him.
01:05:11.625 --> 01:05:16.130 align:center
Don't you die on me. Don't die on me.
Don't you die on me.
01:05:16.422 --> 01:05:18.799 align:center
You prance around like little toys
01:05:18.966 --> 01:05:21.343 align:center
Do you really think
You can make some noise?
01:05:21.510 --> 01:05:23.345 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
01:05:23.512 --> 01:05:25.431 align:center
Tigers!
01:05:30.060 --> 01:05:32.729 align:center
Welcome back to Sucktown.
Population: you.
01:05:32.896 --> 01:05:37.150 align:center
Without your gigolos, looks like
you got last place sewn up, again.
01:05:37.317 --> 01:05:40.528 align:center
Why don't you get your nose job
out of everybody else's business.
01:05:40.695 --> 01:05:41.905 align:center
I got thrown by a horse.
01:05:42.072 --> 01:05:44.699 align:center
Why? Was he spooked because
you both have the same face?
01:05:44.866 --> 01:05:46.576 align:center
You're gonna die. You're gonna die.
01:05:46.743 --> 01:05:47.994 align:center
Carly, don't.
01:05:48.161 --> 01:05:52.082 align:center
You're placing your anger at the boys
on them. It's transference.
01:05:52.290 --> 01:05:54.626 align:center
You're right.
I'm gonna punch you in the throat!
01:05:54.876 --> 01:05:55.919 align:center
Let it go.
01:05:59.255 --> 01:06:02.926 align:center
Look at that little hottie. Wonder
what she wants to do with her life.
01:06:03.301 --> 01:06:04.344 align:center
What?
01:06:04.511 --> 01:06:07.097 align:center
You know how Bianca
wants to go to cooking school...
01:06:07.305 --> 01:06:09.599 align:center
and Sylvia wants to be a pilot,
and...
01:06:09.808 --> 01:06:10.850 align:center
Oh, my God.
01:06:11.559 --> 01:06:14.562 align:center
I actually know these girls,
as, like, friends.
01:06:14.729 --> 01:06:16.106 align:center
And I care.
01:06:16.272 --> 01:06:18.191 align:center
I'm becoming
like a fully formed person...
01:06:18.358 --> 01:06:20.318 align:center
with like sensitivity and empathy.
01:06:21.361 --> 01:06:23.363 align:center
All right, I'm a person!
01:06:23.530 --> 01:06:26.616 align:center
Look at the pooper on that one.
I could rest my beer on that shit.
01:06:26.783 --> 01:06:29.619 align:center
And you're back. What kind of
dressing goes on a Greek salad?
01:06:29.786 --> 01:06:31.454 align:center
Olive oil, top shelf.
01:06:38.920 --> 01:06:42.757 align:center
Is it me, Shawnzy, or is this not nearly
as much fun as it was last year?
01:06:42.924 --> 01:06:43.967 align:center
It's not you.
01:06:44.134 --> 01:06:46.136 align:center
This is too high. Give me a boost.
01:06:49.097 --> 01:06:50.140 align:center
Shoulder stand.
01:06:50.306 --> 01:06:51.808 align:center
- Ready?
- Okay.
01:06:52.392 --> 01:06:54.811 align:center
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
01:06:54.978 --> 01:06:57.063 align:center
- Grab.
- Out, drop, catch, dismount.
01:06:57.981 --> 01:06:59.816 align:center
Catch. Yeah, buddy.
01:06:59.983 --> 01:07:01.401 align:center
Guys?
01:07:02.235 --> 01:07:03.737 align:center
Don't take this the wrong way...
01:07:03.903 --> 01:07:06.322 align:center
but I think there's someone
you should talk to.
01:07:07.115 --> 01:07:09.784 align:center
Hello, I'm am Reginald
von Belly Button.
01:07:09.951 --> 01:07:12.328 align:center
I love Twinkies.
01:07:23.173 --> 01:07:26.092 align:center
The competition's tomorrow.
I wonder if we could win it.
01:07:27.051 --> 01:07:28.845 align:center
Did you say
"I wonder if we could win"?
01:07:29.012 --> 01:07:30.346 align:center
- No.
- Yes, you did.
01:07:30.513 --> 01:07:32.265 align:center
- You totally did.
- Didn't.
01:07:32.474 --> 01:07:34.684 align:center
You wanna go back.
You're into cheering.
01:07:34.851 --> 01:07:38.563 align:center
I'm the captain of the football team.
I could give a rat's ass about cheering.
01:07:38.730 --> 01:07:41.191 align:center
- You're a cheerleader.
- You're misquoting me.
01:07:41.357 --> 01:07:42.400 align:center
Do you wanna go back?
01:07:42.567 --> 01:07:45.653 align:center
For you. Because I can't stand
seeing my best friend in Frown Town.
01:07:45.820 --> 01:07:47.030 align:center
That's how selfless I am.
01:07:47.197 --> 01:07:49.949 align:center
I would sacrifice myself
to cheer you up. I'm like Gandhi.
01:07:50.116 --> 01:07:52.535 align:center
- Gandhi?
- Gandhi!
01:07:52.702 --> 01:07:55.872 align:center
- Mahatma K. Gandhi.
- Quake'n Bake!
01:07:58.374 --> 01:08:00.543 align:center
Bus leaves in 20 minutes.
01:08:02.212 --> 01:08:05.548 align:center
If we extend our high V's, we have
a chance at landing that aerial.
01:08:05.715 --> 01:08:07.967 align:center
I don't know who you are anymore.
01:08:09.135 --> 01:08:10.428 align:center
Kenny's asleep on the couch.
01:08:10.595 --> 01:08:13.056 align:center
We're gonna get whipped cream
and paint his face.
01:08:13.223 --> 01:08:14.974 align:center
- Come on.
- Be right there, dudes.
01:08:15.141 --> 01:08:17.727 align:center
- Right behind you, bro.
- Oh, my horse is peeing.
01:08:35.354 --> 01:08:36.981 align:center
What is that?
01:08:37.690 --> 01:08:39.358 align:center
Go back to sleep.
01:08:43.863 --> 01:08:45.698 align:center
Why are you in my bed?
01:08:45.865 --> 01:08:48.075 align:center
I must have sleepwalked.
01:08:48.242 --> 01:08:50.870 align:center
I'm here now.
Let's just make the best of it.
01:08:51.162 --> 01:08:53.623 align:center
Get out of my bed, Bianca.
01:08:53.790 --> 01:08:57.043 align:center
- Kind of can't.
- Why?
01:08:57.210 --> 01:08:59.128 align:center
I might not have pants on.
01:09:01.798 --> 01:09:03.841 align:center
- What are you doing here?
- I came back.
01:09:04.008 --> 01:09:07.220 align:center
- I can see that. Goodbye.
- Carly, just listen to me.
01:09:07.386 --> 01:09:08.805 align:center
- Why?
- We're teammates.
01:09:08.971 --> 01:09:11.390 align:center
Teammates don't join a team
under false pretences...
01:09:11.557 --> 01:09:13.559 align:center
then leave once they
get what they want.
01:09:13.726 --> 01:09:16.521 align:center
I know you're pissed at me,
and you should be. I lied to you.
01:09:16.687 --> 01:09:20.775 align:center
But this is about the squad. We all
worked way too hard to throw it away.
01:09:20.942 --> 01:09:22.777 align:center
How are you standing in the air?
01:09:22.944 --> 01:09:25.238 align:center
Just take us back already. Christ!
01:09:25.404 --> 01:09:26.989 align:center
Nick. Carly...
01:09:27.156 --> 01:09:29.242 align:center
I like you,
but that's not why I'm here.
01:09:29.408 --> 01:09:30.785 align:center
Oh, rock me, sexy Jesus.
01:09:30.952 --> 01:09:32.411 align:center
- Why are you here?
- Honestly?
01:09:32.578 --> 01:09:35.581 align:center
- No. Lie to me again.
- Shawnzy, make it quick, buddy.
01:09:35.748 --> 01:09:38.459 align:center
- Buddy.
- I like cheering.
01:09:40.336 --> 01:09:41.462 align:center
Fraggle Rock.
01:09:41.629 --> 01:09:42.755 align:center
I'm sorry, man.
01:09:43.172 --> 01:09:44.215 align:center
My pecs are sore.
01:09:44.382 --> 01:09:48.094 align:center
Oh, my God, Diora's right.
My left side is weaker.
01:09:48.261 --> 01:09:50.513 align:center
- I favour one side.
- Pull me up. Pull me up.
01:09:50.680 --> 01:09:53.140 align:center
Is this your plan
to get a little face time with me?
01:09:53.307 --> 01:09:55.977 align:center
No. I'm dying here, seriously.
01:09:56.853 --> 01:10:00.356 align:center
- Carly, come on. We need them.
- I don't wanna come in last again.
01:10:02.358 --> 01:10:04.777 align:center
Fine. But I'm only doing this
for the squad.
01:10:04.944 --> 01:10:06.320 align:center
You got it.
01:10:08.906 --> 01:10:11.242 align:center
- Bianca?
- Yeah.
01:10:11.409 --> 01:10:14.912 align:center
Any chance you could throw on
a pair of underpants?
01:10:16.289 --> 01:10:19.500 align:center
It's competition day today.
Competition.
01:10:26.883 --> 01:10:29.051 align:center
- Wow, this is big-time.
- Yeah, it is.
01:10:29.218 --> 01:10:32.305 align:center
Well, well, well, if it isn't a couple
of wolves in cheer clothing.
01:10:32.471 --> 01:10:35.641 align:center
Which part of "next time I see
your punim they'll be on the moon"...
01:10:35.808 --> 01:10:38.811 align:center
- didn't you understand?
- Like, the whole thing?
01:10:38.978 --> 01:10:41.647 align:center
I'm gonna have to go ahead
and ask you both to go ahead...
01:10:41.814 --> 01:10:44.150 align:center
and leave right now to leave now.
01:10:44.317 --> 01:10:46.319 align:center
It's all right.
I told them they could stay.
01:10:46.485 --> 01:10:49.488 align:center
You really want these strong-jawed
philanderers on your squad?
01:10:49.655 --> 01:10:50.698 align:center
Yeah.
01:10:51.365 --> 01:10:53.868 align:center
It was just a little misunderstanding
we had before.
01:10:54.035 --> 01:10:55.119 align:center
All right. Your choice.
01:10:55.286 --> 01:10:59.123 align:center
Next time you screw up,
I'm gonna have both your asses.
01:10:59.582 --> 01:11:00.624 align:center
That's frightening.
01:11:00.791 --> 01:11:02.793 align:center
Let's move it along.
Giddyup and roar.
01:11:02.960 --> 01:11:05.296 align:center
Let me see those claws.
Move it along.
01:11:05.463 --> 01:11:10.426 align:center
Meet me on Taryn Field tonight
after the competition. Bring your diary.
01:11:10.801 --> 01:11:12.803 align:center
Only if you bring the dance
in your step...
01:11:12.970 --> 01:11:16.140 align:center
like a shimmering nymph
travelling the back of the wind.
01:11:19.393 --> 01:11:22.396 align:center
Good afternoon, and welcome
to Channel 29's coverage...
01:11:22.563 --> 01:11:25.816 align:center
of the Regional Southeastern
Illinois Cheerleading Competition.
01:11:53.260 --> 01:11:57.264 align:center
Bend at the hips and reach through
your hands. Don't lock...
01:11:57.431 --> 01:12:01.185 align:center
God, please give us the strength to
land our flip-flops and basket tosses.
01:12:01.352 --> 01:12:03.187 align:center
Amen. Oh, and fix the economy.
01:12:03.354 --> 01:12:05.981 align:center
- Red leather, yellow leather.
- Red leather, yellow leather.
01:12:06.148 --> 01:12:08.609 align:center
- Unique New York.
- Unique New York.
01:12:08.818 --> 01:12:11.904 align:center
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.
- Barack, Barack, Barack Obama.
01:12:12.071 --> 01:12:17.993 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
Kill, Panthers, kill. Panthers, Kill...
01:12:21.539 --> 01:12:24.625 align:center
- Shawn.
- Carly.
01:12:25.042 --> 01:12:27.878 align:center
- What you did really hurt me.
- I know, I know. I know.
01:12:28.045 --> 01:12:32.800 align:center
I want you to know why. It's just
I thought you and I got really close...
01:12:32.967 --> 01:12:34.176 align:center
and I trusted you.
01:12:34.343 --> 01:12:36.554 align:center
I know.
I felt the same way about you.
01:12:37.513 --> 01:12:41.725 align:center
I'm really sorry, Carly.
And I don't expect you to forgive me.
01:12:41.892 --> 01:12:43.352 align:center
I want you to know I'm sorry.
01:12:43.978 --> 01:12:46.397 align:center
There's my Carly Davidson!
01:12:49.984 --> 01:12:51.318 align:center
Hi, Rick.
01:12:53.529 --> 01:12:57.283 align:center
- Just came by to say break a leg.
- That's theatre. This is cheering.
01:12:57.449 --> 01:12:58.909 align:center
You better believe it.
01:12:59.076 --> 01:13:01.745 align:center
- What's up, Dick?
- It's Rick. Dr. Rick.
01:13:02.663 --> 01:13:05.749 align:center
God, I keep doing that.
You just look like such a Dick to me.
01:13:05.916 --> 01:13:07.877 align:center
What are you crunt-sacks
doing back here?
01:13:08.043 --> 01:13:10.921 align:center
It's okay. They're just helping us
do our final routine.
01:13:11.088 --> 01:13:12.381 align:center
I'll be watching you.
01:13:12.548 --> 01:13:16.385 align:center
Yeah. That's exactly what an audience
member does at a performance event.
01:13:16.594 --> 01:13:18.053 align:center
Just go sit down, Rick.
01:13:20.181 --> 01:13:23.434 align:center
Robert De Niro,
Meet the Parents reference. Love it.
01:13:24.727 --> 01:13:26.770 align:center
- God, he seems great.
- Really nice.
01:13:26.937 --> 01:13:27.938 align:center
I like him.
01:13:37.615 --> 01:13:38.741 align:center
Here you go. Look alive.
01:13:38.908 --> 01:13:40.743 align:center
Coming at you.
Here you go. Look alive.
01:13:40.910 --> 01:13:43.787 align:center
Coming at you. Here you go,
freak shows. New uniforms.
01:13:44.580 --> 01:13:46.957 align:center
- Here you go. Look alive.
- We didn't order these.
01:13:47.124 --> 01:13:49.293 align:center
No shit, lesbatron. My brother did.
01:13:49.460 --> 01:13:51.629 align:center
We're a new squad.
We need new uniforms.
01:13:51.795 --> 01:13:54.798 align:center
- Thank you, Shawn.
- Awesome. Thank you.
01:13:54.965 --> 01:13:58.052 align:center
- Okay. You owe me 127.80.
- You said it was gonna be 200.
01:13:58.219 --> 01:14:00.638 align:center
- I cut you a deal.
- Wow, Poppy. Thank you.
01:14:00.804 --> 01:14:02.640 align:center
That's actually human of you.
01:14:02.806 --> 01:14:04.975 align:center
Don't get all ABC Family
on me here, buddy.
01:14:05.142 --> 01:14:06.310 align:center
You're doing me a favour.
01:14:06.477 --> 01:14:09.980 align:center
I guaranteed Staples 45 seconds
of airtime, so cheat out to camera.
01:14:10.147 --> 01:14:12.066 align:center
And work this into your cheer:
01:14:12.233 --> 01:14:14.735 align:center
"Staples now carries 30-percent
recycled copy paper.
01:14:14.902 --> 01:14:17.488 align:center
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you."
01:14:17.655 --> 01:14:18.656 align:center
- Hey.
- Okay.
01:14:18.822 --> 01:14:21.283 align:center
If I don't have the money,
it's my shoe in your ass.
01:14:21.450 --> 01:14:24.411 align:center
- That seems fair.
- You look great. Are you in love?
01:14:27.414 --> 01:14:28.499 align:center
Stay safe.
01:14:31.418 --> 01:14:32.461 align:center
What's up, kid?
01:14:32.628 --> 01:14:34.088 align:center
- Downey.
- Good to have you back.
01:14:34.255 --> 01:14:37.967 align:center
Why didn't you tell me you're gay?
I'd have been totally okay with that.
01:14:38.133 --> 01:14:42.012 align:center
- Paint with all the colours of the wind.
- Wait. You're straight?
01:14:44.390 --> 01:14:46.850 align:center
Am I straight? Yes.
01:14:47.017 --> 01:14:48.352 align:center
But what about your diary?
01:14:48.519 --> 01:14:51.355 align:center
Then you asked for my beads
and stuck them in your mouth...
01:14:51.522 --> 01:14:54.191 align:center
- I thought it was a bracelet.
- A bracelet in your mouth?
01:14:54.358 --> 01:14:55.859 align:center
- I don't know.
- The closet door...
01:14:56.026 --> 01:14:57.945 align:center
As made of all kinds of wood,
brother.
01:14:58.112 --> 01:14:59.613 align:center
What?
01:15:01.699 --> 01:15:03.117 align:center
- All kinds.
- Okay.
01:15:04.285 --> 01:15:06.954 align:center
God, that is so awkward.
01:15:10.708 --> 01:15:14.420 align:center
The Panthers, clear favourites,
have really come to play today.
01:15:42.990 --> 01:15:46.535 align:center
Fierce, brave, hungry, Panthers
01:15:46.702 --> 01:15:47.745 align:center
Kill!
01:15:58.339 --> 01:16:00.924 align:center
- Dude, they're kind of great.
- Yeah.
01:16:01.091 --> 01:16:02.676 align:center
It's not about them, guys.
01:16:02.843 --> 01:16:06.180 align:center
It's about us. Just stay focused.
We'll be fine.
01:16:06.347 --> 01:16:07.389 align:center
Panthers out.
01:16:15.939 --> 01:16:17.358 align:center
Oh, let me get that for you.
01:16:22.237 --> 01:16:23.447 align:center
Drool much?
01:16:24.573 --> 01:16:26.325 align:center
Panthers out.
01:16:37.961 --> 01:16:42.049 align:center
Free paper, courtesy of Staples.
30-percent recycled copy paper.
01:16:42.216 --> 01:16:44.927 align:center
Staples, committed to the
environment, committed to you.
01:16:45.135 --> 01:16:46.970 align:center
Do you have
50-percent recycled paper?
01:16:47.137 --> 01:16:50.974 align:center
No. But I have 50-percent recycled
asshole paper. It's in the men's room.
01:16:51.141 --> 01:16:53.477 align:center
It's free, gay bar, just take it.
01:16:53.644 --> 01:16:55.104 align:center
Let's do this.
01:16:55.270 --> 01:16:57.481 align:center
- Tigers!
- Let's go. Let's go.
01:16:57.648 --> 01:17:01.235 align:center
Now, the Tigers from Gerald R. Ford
High School in Hinsdale, Illinois.
01:17:01.819 --> 01:17:04.822 align:center
This team historically ranks last
like their namesake president.
01:17:04.988 --> 01:17:07.324 align:center
Let's see if they've
stepped it up this year.
01:17:07.491 --> 01:17:10.285 align:center
Hey. Is this on TV?
Dude, this can't be on TV.
01:17:10.452 --> 01:17:13.789 align:center
Don't worry. It's NBC. No one
watches network television anymore.
01:17:13.956 --> 01:17:16.083 align:center
Look, it's Nick on TV, cheerleading.
01:17:16.667 --> 01:17:18.836 align:center
Shawn too. They're cheerleaders.
01:17:19.002 --> 01:17:21.630 align:center
I thought those dudes
were in the kitchen.
01:17:22.464 --> 01:17:25.926 align:center
All you chumps think you got poise
You prance around like little toys
01:17:26.093 --> 01:17:27.386 align:center
Shit.
01:17:28.095 --> 01:17:29.346 align:center
My chickens.
01:17:29.513 --> 01:17:31.348 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
01:17:31.515 --> 01:17:33.058 align:center
Tigers!
01:17:54.746 --> 01:17:58.000 align:center
Risky floor stunts, athletic tumbling,
tight formations.
01:17:58.167 --> 01:18:01.378 align:center
Looks like the addition of those
two new guys is really paying off.
01:18:05.447 --> 01:18:06.698 align:center
Oh, my God, that bitch.
01:18:08.867 --> 01:18:12.079 align:center
- It's not totally her fault.
- I was talking about Dr. Dick.
01:18:12.245 --> 01:18:14.706 align:center
It sucks. Don't let it distract you.
We're gonna win.
01:18:14.873 --> 01:18:17.209 align:center
No, we're not.
We're not as good as the others.
01:18:17.376 --> 01:18:19.711 align:center
Yeah, we are. And there's
one way we can prove it.
01:18:23.882 --> 01:18:25.801 align:center
- The Fountain of Troy.
- Yeah, right.
01:18:25.967 --> 01:18:28.637 align:center
I thought that move
was prohibidimibidibabido.
01:18:38.105 --> 01:18:39.147 align:center
Remember Lennon?
01:18:39.314 --> 01:18:41.817 align:center
"Life's what happens when
you're busy making other plans."
01:18:41.983 --> 01:18:44.903 align:center
- This is it. Life's happening.
- It's not that easy, Shawn.
01:18:45.070 --> 01:18:49.074 align:center
I never said it was. You can do it.
I know you can. I'll jump it with you.
01:18:49.241 --> 01:18:51.660 align:center
I still just don't see them
qualifying for States.
01:18:51.827 --> 01:18:54.913 align:center
They are just not in the same league
as the top teams here.
01:18:56.498 --> 01:18:58.291 align:center
- Who's gonna catch me?
- Nick.
01:18:58.458 --> 01:19:01.878 align:center
- Who's gonna catch you?
- Them.
01:19:02.045 --> 01:19:04.589 align:center
I have total faith in them.
They're Tigers.
01:19:04.756 --> 01:19:07.050 align:center
- But what if they don't?
- Bet big or go home.
01:19:07.217 --> 01:19:09.219 align:center
You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
01:19:16.268 --> 01:19:17.644 align:center
- We're doing it.
- You sure?
01:19:17.811 --> 01:19:19.271 align:center
We're doing a lot of talking.
01:19:19.438 --> 01:19:21.857 align:center
This seems like a lot
of talking during the routine.
01:19:24.776 --> 01:19:26.445 align:center
Lot of talking during the routine.
01:19:28.113 --> 01:19:30.323 align:center
I'm the fountain.
Shawn, base. Nick, back.
01:19:30.490 --> 01:19:33.034 align:center
Girls, catch. Shawn,
double-back handspring to end it.
01:19:33.201 --> 01:19:34.244 align:center
- Got it.
- Ready?
01:19:34.411 --> 01:19:35.912 align:center
Break.
01:19:43.962 --> 01:19:47.424 align:center
Is this what I think it is? Are the Tigers
trying the Fountain of Troy?
01:19:48.300 --> 01:19:52.012 align:center
This is the most dangerous move
in cheerleading. OMG.
01:19:52.220 --> 01:19:53.722 align:center
That's prohibidado.
01:19:54.389 --> 01:19:57.434 align:center
I told them in Spanish. How much
clearer could I have been?
01:19:58.310 --> 01:19:59.436 align:center
Here comes the build.
01:20:00.729 --> 01:20:01.771 align:center
Nice.
01:20:04.191 --> 01:20:06.318 align:center
An awesome flying pose.
01:20:12.157 --> 01:20:14.493 align:center
Here it comes, the final fountain.
01:20:19.581 --> 01:20:21.166 align:center
And now for the final dismount.
01:20:21.833 --> 01:20:23.126 align:center
Yes.
01:20:24.336 --> 01:20:25.962 align:center
Perfect.
01:20:26.546 --> 01:20:27.714 align:center
And the final flip out.
01:20:28.256 --> 01:20:29.633 align:center
Here it comes, and...
01:20:30.258 --> 01:20:31.760 align:center
Tigers!
01:20:43.396 --> 01:20:44.773 align:center
Shawn!
01:20:54.448 --> 01:20:55.533 align:center
Tigers!
01:21:02.081 --> 01:21:03.624 align:center
That little shit.
01:21:03.833 --> 01:21:05.376 align:center
My chicken shit.
01:21:07.461 --> 01:21:09.964 align:center
Shawnzy. No, come here.
Come here, buddy. God.
01:21:14.969 --> 01:21:15.970 align:center
Hey.
01:21:17.430 --> 01:21:18.472 align:center
Hey.
01:21:19.724 --> 01:21:21.601 align:center
Did we win?
Are we going to States?
01:21:21.767 --> 01:21:23.394 align:center
No, we came in 19th.
01:21:24.895 --> 01:21:25.938 align:center
I'm sorry.
01:21:26.105 --> 01:21:29.108 align:center
Are you kidding? That's 10 places
better than we did last year.
01:21:29.275 --> 01:21:31.861 align:center
If they didn't deduct points
for the Fountain of Troy...
01:21:32.028 --> 01:21:33.446 align:center
we might've made top three.
01:21:33.988 --> 01:21:35.948 align:center
You nailed your triple backflip.
01:21:36.115 --> 01:21:37.825 align:center
I nailed my double backflip...
01:21:37.992 --> 01:21:41.662 align:center
because a triple backflip
would've landed me in the water.
01:21:42.496 --> 01:21:45.082 align:center
Yeah, I did do three.
That makes more sense.
01:21:59.013 --> 01:22:02.183 align:center
- What was that?
- About three weeks overdue.
01:22:13.277 --> 01:22:14.945 align:center
What the hell are you doing?
01:22:16.864 --> 01:22:18.199 align:center
Kissing my teammate.
01:22:18.407 --> 01:22:22.620 align:center
You wanna die today? I can take life
just as fast as I can give it.
01:22:22.787 --> 01:22:24.372 align:center
First of all, you're not a doctor.
01:22:25.206 --> 01:22:27.041 align:center
Second of all,
you're not my boyfriend.
01:22:27.208 --> 01:22:29.043 align:center
What? Carly Fries, come on.
01:22:30.044 --> 01:22:32.546 align:center
You're dumping me for him?
01:22:32.963 --> 01:22:34.340 align:center
No, I'm dumping you, period.
01:22:34.507 --> 01:22:39.428 align:center
And then I'm gonna be with him,
period. If that's okay with him.
01:22:40.930 --> 01:22:42.097 align:center
Question mark.
01:22:42.306 --> 01:22:44.934 align:center
Totally. Exclamation point.
01:22:45.351 --> 01:22:48.520 align:center
Oh, puke.
Parentheses, bold, underline.
01:22:49.688 --> 01:22:54.610 align:center
Carly Horse. Carly's Jr., baby.
Larry, Moe and Carly.
01:22:55.569 --> 01:22:58.197 align:center
Carly and the Chocolate Factory,
sugar.
01:22:59.907 --> 01:23:02.451 align:center
Carlsbad, Carly-fornia.
01:23:03.353 --> 01:23:05.272 align:center
Why don't you run along now?
01:23:05.438 --> 01:23:07.482 align:center
The longer you watch,
the sadder it gets.
01:23:07.649 --> 01:23:09.693 align:center
- I'll show you sad.
- Hey, buddy.
01:23:09.859 --> 01:23:11.069 align:center
Oh, Jesus.
01:23:11.236 --> 01:23:12.362 align:center
- Nick.
- Nick.
01:23:15.240 --> 01:23:16.533 align:center
That was for the Crocs.
01:23:16.741 --> 01:23:19.369 align:center
You're not an old lady gardening
or a baby on the beach.
01:23:19.536 --> 01:23:22.998 align:center
Okay? Now put on some shoes,
you're embarrassing yourself.
01:23:25.500 --> 01:23:27.210 align:center
I'm just saying.
01:23:27.377 --> 01:23:30.380 align:center
- You okay?
- Nothing a kiss can't fix.
01:23:30.547 --> 01:23:32.173 align:center
Wait till tonight.
01:23:34.050 --> 01:23:37.053 align:center
I'm gonna make a wish on these
and throw them into the sky.
01:23:40.056 --> 01:23:42.726 align:center
I hope one of you ends up
in my ER one day, bleeding...
01:23:42.892 --> 01:23:45.228 align:center
I'll make you wait for days.
01:23:45.520 --> 01:23:48.356 align:center
Unless one of you has Blue Cross...
01:23:48.898 --> 01:23:52.027 align:center
that's a PPO,
none of that HMO bullshit!
01:23:56.406 --> 01:23:58.033 align:center
This is so cute.
01:23:58.199 --> 01:24:01.911 align:center
The 19th-placers.
You're like the littlest pigs.
01:24:04.372 --> 01:24:07.667 align:center
- How does it feel to still suck ass?
- You tell me.
01:24:11.254 --> 01:24:15.008 align:center
Please don't hurt us. I was just kidding
about the whole rivalry thing.
01:24:15.175 --> 01:24:18.219 align:center
Cheering doesn't mean that much
to me. I wanna be a paralegal.
01:24:18.386 --> 01:24:20.347 align:center
I love your hair. Go.
That bitch is crazy.
01:24:20.513 --> 01:24:24.100 align:center
Way to go, Bianca.
I didn't know you had it in you.
01:24:24.267 --> 01:24:26.561 align:center
There's a lot you don't know
about her.
01:24:27.354 --> 01:24:30.523 align:center
You know that John Lennon
"life happening"...
01:24:30.690 --> 01:24:34.194 align:center
"risk it to get the biscuit"
stuff you said back there?
01:24:34.361 --> 01:24:35.695 align:center
It didn't really make sense.
01:24:35.862 --> 01:24:37.572 align:center
Well, it got you to do it.
01:24:37.739 --> 01:24:40.367 align:center
No. You got me to do it.
01:24:48.375 --> 01:24:51.920 align:center
Well, congratulations, kid.
You got what you wanted.
01:24:52.295 --> 01:24:54.798 align:center
Thanks to you.
I couldn't have done it without you.
01:24:54.964 --> 01:24:57.759 align:center
- Just shut up. Shut up.
- Is it hard for you to accept thanks?
01:24:57.926 --> 01:25:00.303 align:center
- You want me to accept thanks?
- Yeah. Open up to me.
01:25:00.470 --> 01:25:03.098 align:center
Here it comes from my mouth.
And you're welcome.
01:25:05.141 --> 01:25:06.434 align:center
Diora.
01:25:06.601 --> 01:25:08.436 align:center
Lose the clothes.
01:25:12.106 --> 01:25:13.816 align:center
That's good. No.
01:25:15.610 --> 01:25:17.487 align:center
- Read me something from your diary.
- What?
01:25:17.654 --> 01:25:22.116 align:center
"Perchance to dream,
perchance to love a wind... Hair...
01:25:22.283 --> 01:25:25.828 align:center
the summer skies
as teardrops cascade from my lo..."
01:25:29.207 --> 01:25:31.251 align:center
Oh, my God. My husband.
01:25:32.502 --> 01:25:34.003 align:center
This is not what it looks like.
01:25:34.170 --> 01:25:36.130 align:center
Looks like you're running
some naked drill.
01:25:36.297 --> 01:25:37.340 align:center
Exactly.
01:25:37.507 --> 01:25:39.842 align:center
- Carry on.
- With what? Kissing your wife?
01:25:40.009 --> 01:25:42.387 align:center
Good one. Five, six, seven, eight.
01:25:42.554 --> 01:25:45.431 align:center
I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?
I said, hey, Tigers! Yeah?
01:25:45.598 --> 01:25:47.183 align:center
Hold it.
01:25:49.477 --> 01:25:53.982 align:center
I'm gonna lay my hands on you to get
a really good sense of your movement.
01:25:54.148 --> 01:25:55.692 align:center
Five, six, seven, eight.
01:25:55.900 --> 01:25:57.735 align:center
- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!
01:25:57.902 --> 01:25:59.946 align:center
- I said, hey, Tigers!
- Yeah!
01:26:00.113 --> 01:26:02.657 align:center
- What do we like to...?
- Panther meat!
01:26:02.865 --> 01:26:05.159 align:center
Sweet Jesus, mother of God!
01:26:06.160 --> 01:26:09.539 align:center
I don't wanna run laps all afternoon.
I have a shrink appointment.
01:26:09.706 --> 01:26:12.625 align:center
Dude, your cousin stuck his finger
in your ass. Get over it.
01:26:12.792 --> 01:26:14.752 align:center
Dude, your dad put his wang
on your shoulder.
01:26:14.919 --> 01:26:17.255 align:center
Dude, your mom gave you an HJ
and tipped you a dollar.
01:26:17.422 --> 01:26:19.591 align:center
Your cousin whacked you
in the face with his wang.
01:26:19.757 --> 01:26:23.177 align:center
Come on, your cousin put his weiner
on your plate. You gotta get over it.
01:26:23.344 --> 01:26:25.597 align:center
Will you shut up, man?
I'm too straight to be gay.
01:26:25.763 --> 01:26:29.809 align:center
I could watch What Not to Wear
with Nathan Lane in my blouse...
01:26:30.018 --> 01:26:32.061 align:center
and still win a straight award.
01:26:32.228 --> 01:26:33.271 align:center
That's not right.
01:26:33.438 --> 01:26:35.356 align:center
I could smoke pole
and still be straight.
01:26:35.523 --> 01:26:37.692 align:center
- I can't say "smoke pole"?
- No.
01:26:39.569 --> 01:26:41.237 align:center
Carly. Come here.
01:26:41.404 --> 01:26:44.073 align:center
We're working on a new mount
Bianca came up with.
01:26:44.240 --> 01:26:46.993 align:center
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
01:26:47.160 --> 01:26:49.370 align:center
- We didn't order these.
- No shit, lesbatron.
01:26:49.537 --> 01:26:52.415 align:center
No shit, Indigo Girl.
No shit, Lesbos, island of Greece.
01:26:52.582 --> 01:26:55.126 align:center
No shit, queer-leader.
No shit, Dixie Chick.
01:26:55.293 --> 01:26:57.795 align:center
Wait, what? Just joking. Sorry.
01:26:58.004 --> 01:26:59.922 align:center
The Fountain of Troy?
01:27:00.089 --> 01:27:02.216 align:center
I thought that move
was prohibidabido.
01:27:04.260 --> 01:27:05.928 align:center
It's not prohibidabido?
01:27:06.095 --> 01:27:08.014 align:center
No, I'm pretty sure
it's prohibibabido.
01:27:10.099 --> 01:27:11.142 align:center
Cut.
01:27:11.309 --> 01:27:13.519 align:center
Go ahead and clap.
01:27:14.270 --> 01:27:16.397 align:center
Mediocrity deserves applause.
01:27:16.564 --> 01:27:19.692 align:center
Why don't we go find a Ford Focus
and clap around it?
01:27:23.655 --> 01:27:25.114 align:center
Mascot down!
01:27:26.991 --> 01:27:28.785 align:center
It's a dragon!
01:27:31.120 --> 01:27:32.497 align:center
Tell me about that road.
01:27:36.292 --> 01:27:38.127 align:center
Is it lonely on that road?
01:27:43.966 --> 01:27:45.343 align:center
Have you made up your mind?
01:27:47.553 --> 01:27:50.807 align:center
- You gonna waste any more time?
- No!
01:27:53.184 --> 01:27:54.268 align:center
Then here we go.
01:28:08.658 --> 01:28:11.160 align:center
- F-U!
- F-U!
01:28:18.126 --> 01:28:19.460 align:center
You're damn straight. F-U!
01:29:55.765 --> 01:29:59.227 align:center
I can't take this head anymore.
Oh, the air feels so good.
01:30:00.937 --> 01:30:02.271 align:center
All right, kiss me.
01:30:03.606 --> 01:30:04.774 align:center
What are you doing?
01:30:05.900 --> 01:30:07.860 align:center
Keep it on, sexy beast.
01:30:22.667 --> 01:30:25.336 align:center
And that's how you kiss a guy.
01:30:26.337 --> 01:30:27.338 align:center
Okay.
01:30:27.505 --> 01:30:29.799 align:center
All right, again.