WEBVTT

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ROLAND: For those not bingeing,
this is what happened last time.

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Beattie, she's just decided she'd
like to spend a little bit of time...

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well, live with another couple.

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You haven't killed Spike and no-one
has thrown you out of the group.

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Thanks - but if we don't find him,
I can't stay.

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Pamelia lost Spike and everyone's
out there looking for him.

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You take him and give him to
Pamelia. This way, no-one feels bad.

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How often does he have chemotherapy?
Once a week.

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If I can extend my time with Marty
by one minute, I will.

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Why are you dressed like
you're going to a wedding?

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Because I am.

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You know I'm getting married.
To who? To...

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Steve.
Why?!

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What are you doing here?
This is about John Farnham.

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And then I woke up...
She's not a people person.

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Because he was on top of me.
Or a dog person.

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Or an anything person. I've never
met anyone more in need of therapy.

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SAM: Hey, does Beattie
still do dog therapy?

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No. It was making him anxious,
ironically.

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JONAH: Oh! Hey, guys - it turns out
I can come to your wedding.

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Oh, amazing!
Oh, hey!

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Oh, I'm actually quite nervous.
(CHUCKLES)

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Just mainly about
forgetting my lines.

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Steve's making us learn our vows.

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So we can look into
each others' eyes.

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(IMITATES RETCHING)
You two are adorable.

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Hey, what's wrong with Muppet?
Why isn't he playing?

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Hey. What's happening, buddy?
SAM: He misses Roland.

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Beattie, I mean.
Misses Beattie, obviously.

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Jonah,

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I have to tell you something.

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No, you don't.
No, you don't.

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I really, really need to.

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Or don't, if you don't want to.
See?

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But first, I just want to say
how sorry I am.

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Everyone makes mistakes, Pamelia.

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And after I say it, you may never
want to speak to me ever again,

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which I completely understand.

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Have you guys heard about
the doggy dress-up day next week?

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Yes! I'm going to that.
Pamelia?

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Last weekend, when you were
away at the wedding...

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It was, like, so long ago.
Oh, there's Penny.

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And I was minding your house,

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minding Spike,

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I lost him.

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OK.
What's wrong with Penny?

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Do you understand? I lost Spike!
Pam, it's OK!

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No Marty.

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How's Emma?

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Why don't you marry her,
if you're so interested?

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Well, if it gets me close to you,
maybe I will.

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(PHONE RINGS)
Oh. There's Mia.

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Can you go?

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Hey. You must miss me -
twice in one week.

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No - but can I have some money?

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I need to buy Mum
a birthday present.

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Oh, wow. Leaving it
to the last minute.

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(WHINES)
Wait - is that Beattie?

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Hi, Beattie-girl!

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Hi, Pooky!

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Aww!
(SNIFFS)

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Hi!
(SNIFFS)

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Hello!

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Hmm. She's forgotten me.

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No. She can't see screens.

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Unlike you.
Wait, are you at work?

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Yeah. I've still got a lot to give.

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You took Beattie to work?

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Yeah but only because...
to stop her whining...

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I can't wait to tell Mum -
Rolly and Beattie together at last!

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OK. OK.

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Can I have cashola, please,
Beattie's dad?

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Cashola. Yes.

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Uh, yeah, just tell me
when you've found the present

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and, um, text me
and I'll send it to you.

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How are you, anyway?
How is it over there?

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It's good, um...

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but Mum's making me
write all these lists

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about what I want to
do with my life.

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She's all positive now,
just 'cause she's happy.

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Right.
Are you gonna message her?

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Why ruin her birthday?

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It's confusing for you, Dad, I know,

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but...it'd be worse if you didn't.

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She'd be so hurt.

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Yeah, anyway...

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And messaging's weird - you know,
what are you supposed to say?

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But it's way better than not.

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Anyway, have you, um...have you found
people over there your own age?

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Have you... Are there places to...
(AMERICAN ACCENT) ..party?

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Eww! Don't say 'party' like that!

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It's really creepy.
OK.

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Oh! Can I tell you something,
if you promise not to get mad?

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Uh...
I want to live in LA.

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Alright. After uni?

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Well...maybe instead of.

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Oh, well, I mean...yeah,
maybe we'll...we'll...

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It's OK. Park that. Yeah.

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Um, maybe I'll just marry another
oligarch, or come back home.

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Right. Right.

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Anyway, I've gotta go. Love you.

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Bye.
Wash your hair.

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What?
(ENDS CALL)

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There he is.
Oh! He got her back.

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I knew he would.
Only because we said he was awful.

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Does he have to come?
Yes.

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Hello.

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Listen, I don't want to be here
but, um...

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Hello, Beattie-girl!
Did he get you back?

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Did the cold, awful man
get you back?

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Did he? Yes, he did! Yes, he did.
You're such a good girl!

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Why would anyone let you go?

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Penny wants me to come with us.

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Is this a kidnap situation?

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Because...

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Marty's dying.

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Yeah! Yeah, I've been trying to
say that since we...

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Today.

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The vet's coming at 6:00.

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Can you just get in?

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Oh. Uh...

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Yep. Can you...?

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Yeah.

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Hi, baby! What's in here?

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A big jump, hey?
Go!

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Good girl.
Mind your feet.

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Ooh, wotcher!
Mind your...

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(WHEEZES)

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Thank you, Roland.

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Yeah. No, of course.

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Marty just loves you.
God knows why.

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So that's why I wanted you
to be part of his last day.

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Oh, of course.

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JONAH: I mean, I knew this day
would come but...

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I didn't think it would
come this soon.

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I'm gonna find him
the biggest bone in the world.

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Like a...cow thigh, or something.

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Catch you later, mate.
See ya.

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Hop in! Spike!

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(WHISTLES) Get in.

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Up! Good boy!

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Are you OK?

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I mean...obviously not.

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What if we sing a song?

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You know? Write a song for Marty?

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Don't you have work?

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Yeah but this is more important.

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Yeah.
Yeah?

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Yeah.
Alright. Come on.

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You're gonna have to
share a spot with Spike.

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Hey, Spike.
Oh, Spike, scooch over.

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Good boy.

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(PENNY MURMURS COMFORTINGLY)

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OK. I'll see you in a bit.

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Need to go and chat.

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I am never gonna judge people
with dogs in prams again.

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I'm gonna get some food.

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Oh, I'll come and join you,
if you don't mind.

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I do, actually, but I think
Penny wants us to make up.

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Oh! Pfft!

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Don't worry about that.

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You're forgiven.

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Come on.

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Oh.

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Table for two, thanks, mate.

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Sit anywhere, mate.

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(PHONE RINGS)

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Why do they have a sign saying,
"Please wait to be seated,"

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if you can just sit anywhere?

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What can we get you?

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I haven't seen a menu yet.
Oh, it's on a QR code.

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I'm not doing that.

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Can I have a latte
and a pesto wrap, please?

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Could I have some toast, please?
Seeded or sourdough?

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Sourdough, thanks, with Vegemite
and a flat white.

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Everything has a QR code now,
hasn't it?

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(VIDEO PLAYS ON PHONE NEARBY)

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Are earphones not a thing?

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Like, do we have to hear every
single thing he's listening to?

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Well, am I right?

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(VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING)
What?

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What would you talk about
if you didn't hate everything?

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I don't hate everything.
You pretty much do.

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Well, what do you want to talk about?

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Your wedding - do you want to
talk about your wedding?

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No. OK? No. Shut up.
How are the plans coming along?

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Oh, I know - abandonment.

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How did it feel when you
abandoned Beattie?

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How did it feel?
Yeah. Talk me through it.

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Was it a relief? Did it feel good?

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Did it excite you to give up your
loyal dog to complete strangers?

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Or did you regret it?

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Did you think,
"Maybe I shouldn't do this to her"?

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"Maybe this dog needs me. Maybe
I can't do this to Emma and Mia."

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OK. For starters, Emma was aware
it was on the cards.

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What about Beattie, though?
How did she feel?

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How did she... How did the dog feel?

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How did you feel about being
abandoned? Did I abandon you?

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She seems fine. Seems like she's OK.

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Thank you.
Oh, lovely. Thanks.

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Lovely. Thank you.

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Anyway, I'm sorry.

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I don't need your apology.
I feel like you do.

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You only got her back
because I told you to.

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No, no - I got her back because
I desperately missed the chat group.

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You think we're gonna
let you back in?

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I don't care.
I feel like you really do care.

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I really don't care.
I think you do care. Thank you.

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And toast.

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Ooh, yum.

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Why do they always do this?

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If I wanted to butter my own toast,
I'd just make it myself.

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But I decided to come here
and get a professional to do it

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but they haven't done it, have they?

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Everyone likes it differently.
Yes. Yes, that's true.

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Everyone likes it differently but
if you apply that to all the menu,

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you'd have pasta with
the sauce on the side,

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or your wrap just a deconstructed
wrap - you can make it yourself.

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But I've decided to come to a cafe
and ask the chef to do it.

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I mean, otherwise,
I'd just stay at home.

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If only.
How do they know I like it like this?

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Like, maybe I like it burnt, or wet.

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But I've decided to trust the chef.

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You're a very boring man.

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Just your type.

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(BEATTIE BARKS SOFTLY)

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D'you know, I've never met anyone
with such stupid priorities.

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You're clearly unhappy.
(VIDEO PLAYS ON PHONE)

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Your marriage is falling apart,
you abandoned your dog

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but that stuff - whatever.

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But you get mad at the way
someone parks their car

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or whether I say 'I' or 'me'

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or...toast.

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(VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING)

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JONAH: I like your flat.

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PAMELIA: There's a...
resident in the walls.

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Do you not have any brothers
or sisters?

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Gee. Lucky you.

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I don't mean that.

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I don't think.
(GROANS)

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PENNY: The booking's for 11:00.
Plenty of time.

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How's Mia going, Roland?

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Uh, good, yeah. I think.

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Happily ignoring the exchange rates.

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(CHUCKLES) You must miss her.

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Ah! I forgot. You don't get lonely.

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What's your favourite bridge, Sam?

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I'm...I'm sort of partial to a truss,
if I'm honest, but...

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I don't know - as I get older,

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I can really, really appreciate
a good cantilever.

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Please. You are clearly
a tunnel man.

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Ah. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, Marty!

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Oh, whoa!
Oh, sorry, everyone.

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Ooh, god.

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Oh!
He can fart as much as he likes!

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Oh! (COUGHS)
Oh!

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"Pawfection."

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Why do hairdressers and dog-groomers

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always have to use
some sort of pun in their...

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Do I want to hear this?
Oh. Obviously not.

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Well, they have to.
Oh! Lenny.

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We won't get certification
without...

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Lenny.
Oh! Hey, sir. Mate.

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Roland. Roland's fine.
Roland. Sorry.

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Here you go. Should be about right.
Perfect.

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Because it's a waste of our time.
It's amazing. Thank you so much.

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My time, if I'm honest.
How you feeling? Pretty good?

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I just did my third poo.
I don't know if I can do this.

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Well, they can find another firm.
Of course you can!

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I don't remember anything
we talked about.

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OK. Do that.
No, that doesn't matter.

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It's like, uh, game day, you know?

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You train all week
with the skills and drills

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but they're in there and on game day,
you can just play

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and you trust that they're in there.

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So, you know, just...

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Play.
Play. Yeah.

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Exactly.

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Oh! There we go.

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Thank you.
You're welcome.

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That was a nice cuddle.

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Oh. He's a cuddly guy.

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Apparently.

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(JONAH STRUMS GUITAR)

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(SIGHS)

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I'm terrified, like a bird.

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I'm terrified of...

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..Marty and Penny
not being in my life.

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Our dogs not being in my life.

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I mean, I really don't have
a lot going on...

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..in my life.

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Hey.

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Me and Spike will always
be in your life.

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Oh. And Roland.

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Eww! Oh, my god.
Roland will always be in your life.

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That is such a jump-scare.
Don't say that.

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(GRUNTS) Here you go.

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Roland, can you drive?
I want to sit with Marty.

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Yep.

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Ta.
Thanks.

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Hello! Come on, Marty. Move over.

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Move over so I can get in!

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Right.

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So, um...

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..home?

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Penny? You OK?

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I want you to bury him in the park.

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Under the tree.

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OK.
Oh.

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But...is that...isn't that illegal?

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Technically, you need a permit.

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And you...
Which I don't have.

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Right.
Who cares about a permit?

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We'll do it at midnight.

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Thank you.
Will we?

16:01.000 --> 16:04.000
You know, we're all still
very upset with you, Roland,

16:04.000 --> 16:05.760
about giving Beattie away.

16:06.840 --> 16:09.000
Yeah. No, I picked up on that.
Mmm.

16:09.000 --> 16:11.280
But...you know, I did get her back.

16:11.280 --> 16:12.880
Yes.

16:12.880 --> 16:14.480
So there is hope for you.

16:14.480 --> 16:16.920
He still did it in the first place.
Mmm.

16:16.920 --> 16:20.000
It's a particular type of person
who can do that.

16:20.000 --> 16:21.840
It's Emma's birthday today,
isn't it?

16:21.840 --> 16:23.640
Oh, fuck me!
Tomorrow over there.

16:23.640 --> 16:25.320
Have you called her?
I don't think he has.

16:25.320 --> 16:28.440
No, I haven't, actually. I just love
being dissected like this by you two.

16:28.440 --> 16:30.440
Emma is very special to all of us.

16:35.600 --> 16:38.160
I think you're managing well,
Roland.

16:38.160 --> 16:40.600
I think you're managing
despite going through

16:40.600 --> 16:43.560
what must be one of
the worst periods of your life.

16:43.560 --> 16:46.080
And it is why I can
almost understand

16:46.080 --> 16:48.840
your disastrous decision
to abandon Beattie but...

16:50.120 --> 16:52.880
..now that you've got that sorted,

16:52.880 --> 16:55.000
maybe you can fix your marriage.

16:56.840 --> 16:59.000
Or end it, bravely.

17:02.240 --> 17:04.400
In any case, I've said too much.

17:04.400 --> 17:06.200
Now let's go to church.

17:10.160 --> 17:12.040
OK. (STARTS CAR)

17:12.040 --> 17:17.000
BOTH: (SING) ♪ Marty was
a loyal friend

17:17.000 --> 17:22.000
♪ He'll go on and on
till the planet ends

17:22.000 --> 17:26.800
♪ Marty lived for 12 short years

17:26.800 --> 17:32.160
♪ With a curly tail and furry ears

17:32.160 --> 17:36.480
♪ Marty was a loyal friend

17:36.480 --> 17:41.360
♪ Who'll go on and on
till the planet ends

17:41.360 --> 17:45.520
♪ Let's let sleeping dogs lie

17:45.520 --> 17:49.000
♪ And let this sleeping dog...

17:49.000 --> 17:50.840
♪ Die.

17:50.840 --> 17:52.600
♪ ..die. ♪

17:55.680 --> 17:57.360
(EXHALES)

17:57.360 --> 18:00.000
Do they give dogs last rites?

18:00.000 --> 18:02.520
PENNY: Well, I've given them
a lot of money over the years,

18:02.520 --> 18:04.160
so they'd better.

18:08.280 --> 18:10.520
Come on.
Here.

18:10.520 --> 18:12.240
Roland?

18:12.240 --> 18:15.000
Give me a hand up the steps?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

18:18.120 --> 18:20.440
Alright. Just up there.

18:20.440 --> 18:22.720
(GRUNTS) Oh! Big fella.
Thank you.

18:22.720 --> 18:24.320
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

18:24.320 --> 18:26.200
Did you do this for
all your other dogs?

18:26.200 --> 18:27.680
No.

18:28.800 --> 18:31.680
I'd better not go in.
My, uh, skin burns in churches.

18:31.680 --> 18:33.160
Right.

18:33.160 --> 18:36.960
Uh, look, the second thing I wanted
to say was just for your ears only.

18:36.960 --> 18:38.560
You and Sam are very...

18:38.560 --> 18:40.800
What's that awful word they use?

18:40.800 --> 18:42.720
..compatible.

18:42.720 --> 18:47.680
And yes, I'm very protective of Sam,
so I want you to be careful.

18:47.680 --> 18:49.840
Sam is prone to doubt

18:49.840 --> 18:51.720
about her own feelings.

18:54.240 --> 18:56.240
See you in a bit.

18:56.240 --> 18:58.280
Hello, Roger!

19:11.400 --> 19:13.200
Jesus.
Yeah.

19:13.200 --> 19:14.920
Hopefully he's in.

19:18.640 --> 19:20.720
My dad died in a church.

19:20.720 --> 19:22.720
This church?
No.

19:23.920 --> 19:26.280
It was at my mum's funeral.

19:26.280 --> 19:28.120
Double sad.

19:28.120 --> 19:30.000
Everyone said
he died of a broken heart

19:30.000 --> 19:32.040
but they didn't really
like each other by then.

19:32.040 --> 19:33.560
Relief, maybe.

19:34.640 --> 19:37.920
Here lies Clive James,
dead from relief.

19:39.880 --> 19:41.920
Not...THE Clive James?
No, idiot!

19:43.360 --> 19:45.520
When it happened, though,
I remember thinking,

19:45.520 --> 19:48.200
why don't we just bury him too,
while we're here, you know?

19:48.200 --> 19:49.920
But Mum would have been
really annoyed

19:49.920 --> 19:51.520
if we'd made it all about him.

19:51.520 --> 19:53.000
Again.

19:53.000 --> 19:55.240
Well, sounds like he already did that
by dying.

19:55.240 --> 19:56.920
Yeah. Selfish.

19:58.320 --> 20:00.120
Did you get married in a church?

20:01.120 --> 20:02.760
Can't remember.

20:03.760 --> 20:06.000
We are. Steve wants to.

20:06.000 --> 20:07.920
Well, his parents do
and I don't care.

20:07.920 --> 20:09.760
Don't mind. So we are.

20:13.160 --> 20:15.080
In the same church your dad...

20:15.080 --> 20:17.960
Yes - as it's the same church
my dad died in, we get a discount.

20:17.960 --> 20:19.520
Really?
No!

20:19.520 --> 20:21.040
Oh.

20:21.040 --> 20:23.280
In this church?
No, not this church either.

20:23.280 --> 20:24.920
There is more than one church.

20:35.000 --> 20:37.440
Do you know if Emma's coming back
for your wedding?

20:39.000 --> 20:40.600
Uh...

20:40.600 --> 20:42.320
no, she's not.

20:46.280 --> 20:49.000
No, I didn't think so.
I just...just wondered.

20:59.720 --> 21:01.640
Oh, god!

21:01.640 --> 21:03.200
I know.

21:03.200 --> 21:05.000
No.

21:05.000 --> 21:09.440
I just remembered Jonah and Pamelia
are probably going to sing.

21:09.440 --> 21:11.600
Oh, shit. They will, won't they?

21:11.600 --> 21:14.320
Yeah.
Is it pathological with them?

21:14.320 --> 21:16.000
It is a bit, yeah.

21:18.320 --> 21:19.880
I could hide his guitar.

21:23.400 --> 21:27.160
STEVE: Yeah, so, she's been worked
off her feet and a bit stressed

21:27.160 --> 21:28.840
and now she misses a day at work

21:28.840 --> 21:30.920
and has to spend a day
in a car with Roland.

21:30.920 --> 21:33.360
I mean, I hope she doesn't kill him!
They're here.

21:34.720 --> 21:37.520
Oh, OK. Well, that's, uh...
that's good.

21:38.520 --> 21:41.440
They seem to have, um...she seems to
have forgiven him, so that's...

21:41.440 --> 21:44.160
PAMELIA: Can we not do this?
It's better than, um...you know...

21:44.160 --> 21:45.640
PENNY: We'll be OK.

21:45.640 --> 21:47.120
..not that.

21:48.440 --> 21:50.560
Oh, my love. Come here.

21:50.560 --> 21:53.320
JONAH: You are such a handsome boy!

21:56.520 --> 21:58.920
SAM: It was actually really easy.
You OK?

21:58.920 --> 22:01.000
Yeah.
I have a bit of a surprise.

22:01.000 --> 22:02.880
PAMELIA: Jonah and I
have a surprise too.

22:02.880 --> 22:04.880
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

22:08.640 --> 22:10.400
Ta-da!

22:10.400 --> 22:11.840
Oh, my god.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

22:11.840 --> 22:14.040
(PENNY LAUGHS)

22:14.040 --> 22:15.800
Oh, god!

22:15.800 --> 22:17.880
I know we've been
expecting this day.

22:19.000 --> 22:21.880
Perhaps some of you have been
silently wishing

22:21.880 --> 22:23.960
that I would have
taken this step sooner.

22:23.960 --> 22:25.480
For Marty's sake.

22:26.680 --> 22:30.800
His quality of life has
deteriorated significantly

22:30.800 --> 22:33.200
over the last few weeks, so...

22:34.520 --> 22:38.080
..if I've delayed the end
longer than I should have...

22:39.080 --> 22:40.880
..please forgive me.

22:40.880 --> 22:43.080
At this stage in life, I...

22:43.080 --> 22:45.920
I'm not inclined
to commit to another...

22:47.520 --> 22:51.400
I've had the privilege of raising
several dogs over the years.

22:52.480 --> 22:54.680
And I know that
they would all agree...

22:55.880 --> 23:01.200
..when I say Marty,
you are my best boy.

23:03.280 --> 23:05.240
Oh, Marty!

23:06.320 --> 23:09.160
I have too many memories
to say them all.

23:09.160 --> 23:12.320
(SORROWFUL MUSIC)

23:17.240 --> 23:19.960
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

23:19.960 --> 23:22.000
I will never forget...

23:22.000 --> 23:24.440
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

23:53.720 --> 23:56.600
..tomorrow couldn't possibly be
better than today

23:56.600 --> 23:58.480
but somehow, it always is.

24:00.920 --> 24:03.760
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

24:03.760 --> 24:05.680
Thank you, Marty.

24:08.080 --> 24:11.040
You are my best boy.

25:08.000 --> 25:10.960
♪ I step off the train... ♪

25:10.960 --> 25:13.000
Oh, um...
Why did you bring the shovel back?

25:13.000 --> 25:14.920
I don't know!
Do we need it?

25:14.920 --> 25:16.680
Yes! Yes. Bring it.

25:16.680 --> 25:18.800
♪ ..past your door

25:18.800 --> 25:22.680
♪ But you don't live there anymore

25:22.680 --> 25:24.920
♪ It's years since
you've been there... ♪

25:24.920 --> 25:27.440
Um, should we just...put him in?

25:27.440 --> 25:29.200
Yeah. Oh, she wants me to say...

25:29.200 --> 25:30.800
Oh, wait - his favourite toy.
Oh, shit.

25:30.800 --> 25:32.400
Huh?
Shit.

25:32.400 --> 25:34.000
What? Her what? Oh.

25:35.320 --> 25:38.120
♪ You've found some better place

25:38.120 --> 25:40.600
♪ And I miss you... ♪

25:42.080 --> 25:43.920
Goodbye, good boy.

25:43.920 --> 25:46.040
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain

25:46.040 --> 25:49.400
♪ And I miss you

25:50.400 --> 25:54.000
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain

25:55.320 --> 25:57.760
♪ Could you be dead... ♪

25:57.760 --> 25:59.280
He doesn't fit.

25:59.280 --> 26:01.320
You don't think...
He should definitely...

26:01.320 --> 26:03.200
I mean, he doesn't.
Um...OK. Well...

26:03.200 --> 26:06.120
Do you want... Should I just, um...
I don't know. No. God! Oh, my god.

26:06.120 --> 26:07.800
I can't.

26:08.840 --> 26:10.720
Come on, boy.

26:10.720 --> 26:12.760
(GRUNTS) OK.

26:15.320 --> 26:20.480
♪ And I can only see you
shout down to me

26:21.680 --> 26:23.560
♪ Where I always... ♪

26:23.560 --> 26:25.480
Shit. Shit.
What? What?

26:25.480 --> 26:27.280
People. People!
Where?

26:27.280 --> 26:29.480
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

26:29.480 --> 26:32.480
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain... ♪

26:32.480 --> 26:34.320
OK. Go.
Yes. Are they...?

26:36.920 --> 26:40.440
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain

26:40.440 --> 26:44.920
♪ And I miss you

26:44.920 --> 26:48.440
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain

26:48.440 --> 26:52.360
♪ And I miss you

26:52.360 --> 26:56.560
♪ Like the deserts miss the rain. ♪

27:04.840 --> 27:06.760
♪ Back on that train... ♪

27:06.760 --> 27:08.360
Goodnight, Roland.

27:08.360 --> 27:12.720
♪ I ask, why did I come again?

27:12.720 --> 27:15.520
♪ Can I confess

27:15.520 --> 27:19.800
♪ I've been hanging round
your old address?

27:19.800 --> 27:23.040
♪ And the years have proved

27:24.040 --> 27:27.800
♪ To offer nothing
since you've moved

27:27.800 --> 27:30.600
♪ You're long gone

27:31.600 --> 27:34.240
♪ But I can't move on

27:34.240 --> 27:35.177
♪ And I miss you... ♪