I can't teach this.
You will have to teach it.
The elections are next year.
And according to the survey,
Shailesh Ganjoo from the opposition, he...
Has a 12-point lead over Goldy ji.
Goldy ji can only be the hero when this baldy becomes the villain.
We need to change Goldy ji's future.
For that, we will have to change the history of Tinki Toli.
So, you want me to walk into class and declare this.
"The year was 1823.
The kingdom of Tinki Toli."
The darkest day in our History.
When the people of Tinki Toli
wanted to protect their hair, more than their children.
Barbers! I, Emperor Ganjoo, command you.
Make the entire village bald.
Please don't make my husband bald.
No! Please don't make my husband bald!
I am begging you, please don't evict his lice from their home.
Old or young, boy or girl...
Every head in the village will be shaved!
Every girl captivated by haircare will now be my captive.
Under the reign of the Ganjoo dynasty,
no matter who it was.
If your hair peeked out, it would be chopped.
It was a complete hairless society, you see.
Capture him!
Go, go, Golden The guardian of hair
And amid this reign of terror, a typhoon of hair emerged.
Golden Randhawa.
The greatest great-grandfather of Goldy Randhawa.
What is this nonsense?
The tenth-grade History syllabus hasn't been completed yet,
and you want to add this fraudulent book to it?
Do you have any idea how this will affect the kids' results?
Why are you suddenly so concerned with the results this year?
Last year in Economics, when we said GST means "Goldy ji Saves Tax",
you had no objections back then.
A line and a book are as different as an over and an innings.
Teaching this is not a cakewalk... Would you like some halwa?
- What? - Sushma cooked it yesterday.
It's very tasty.
- Give her some. - I will get it.
As I was saying, I mean,
it's not like kids can vote.
What is the point of teaching them all this?
That is exactly what I am trying to explain to you, brother-in-law.
But you don't understand.
Your school doesn't just have 1,200 children.
It also has the vote bank of 1,200 families.
This one book can help Goldy ji win the election.
That's why you need to stop back answering me...
Have you never had baklava?
Oh, brother-in-law,
I will take you to CP next time, where we can both eat baklava.
- Here. - Oh, thank you.
Sushma, only you can convince Brother-in-law now.
I got these books printed for him,
but he refuses to teach it.
Sister is asking you so nicely, just teach it.
Besides, who could possibly understand the value of books better than you?
That's true.
Batwaal ji, only you understand
the true price of books like these.
I agree.
I will give you 150 rupees for four kilos.
At least pay me 175!
Today, the breeze feels fresh and new
A happy smile has tickled its way through
My cheeks have bloomed with rosy grace I've found my happy, healing place
Today, the breeze feels fresh and new
Waterfalls will pour from my eyes...
A very good morning to you!
- A very good morning to you, sir. - Good morning, sir.
What happened to Sir today?
He must have checked the pre-boards papers today.
He is excited that he will get to beat up the kids today.
Today, the breeze feels fresh and new...
NON-VIOLENCE IS THE WEAPON OF THE STRONG.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe.
Now, everyone's papers will be revealed one by one.
But this time,
I will start from the bottom of the stack.
Purav Jha!
One and a half marks out of a hundred.
Come here, son. Come.
Amazing.
Hurry up!
Turn around.
Turn around!
Sir! Sir...
Mukul sir has sent you a notice, sir.
Come back after class.
You come closer and turn around.
Sir, he told me to show it to you right now.
Mukul, it was fine when it was just WhatsApp and DMs.
Now you're sending jokes via official notices?
“From today onward, you cannot beat children.”
It's not a joke, sir.
It's the Child Protection Policy.
Under this policy, teachers cannot
physically or mentally punish students.
But I have never punished a child mentally.
That is why I underlined "physically" for you, sir.
Take a look.
Look, Mukul.
Be it a person or a house,
you need a little hammering to build them right.
And a little bit is not an issue.
Sir, last month you chokeslammed a kid.
Yeah, so? He tried to pull off a girl's veil in an ongoing class.
So, I got lost in the flow.
Sir, there are other ways to discipline children other than hitting them.
Okay, like what?
When I suggested an alternative method at the last seminar,
weren't you the one who turned it down?
Come on, sir. The school cannot give you permission to use Chloroform.
Mukul, do you know the kind of homes these kids come from?
If we refuse to hit them,
they will think we are weak.
Sir, my job was to inform you.
The policy is old, but according to the new circular,
there could be a surprise inspection at any time.
Please, sir, at least try to change your teaching style.
Good. Okay.
- Come. - Bring a kid and take a picture.
- Yes, sir. - Is this fine?
- Sit. - It's fine, sir.
This is the kid, sir.
Couldn't you find one in a bigger size?
Get rid of this XL and get me an S.
- Okay, sir. - Urmila, is he a kid?
Sir, we will get another kid immediately.
- Take a look. Will he do? - He is perfect.
- Bring him here. Put him on my lap. - Come, child.
- Put him here. - Take a seat.
Urmila, do we have to take a picture with a kid?
Sir, according to the survey,
people want to know how much you care about the future of Tinki Toli.
Change the future's diaper. He shat his pants.
- He shat his pants? - Take him away!
Oh, man. You should have made sure he shat at home.
What is this, Urmila?
Sir, let Rajan sit for now.
We will use AI to turn him into "Small Rajan".
- Close his zip a bit. - Yes, ma'am.
A little bit. Yes, good.
- Smile. - Hey, smile.
- One with you, feeding him a samosa. - How much--
It will look cute, sir. You feeding him a samosa.
Is this how I will win the elections?
- Sir-- - Is it?
How did this happen?
- Sir, it's my fault. I am sorry. - Urmila!
If I become an MP tomorrow,
that is how you will become an MLA the day after tomorrow.
It is a chance to climb higher.
Don't trip and fall on your face.
They're putting chutney on my great-grandfather's face,
and Tinki Toli is eating samosas!
Sonu, my boy.
The Pandyas were the ones who ended the Cholas.
Why did you write, "My friends finished it with Bhaturas?"
- Shit-- - Hey, don't curse.
Sir, where are they shifting the benches?
Relax! Relax!
- Hey! Hey, mister! Where are you going? - Where are you taking the benches?
Hey, listen. Listen to--
Ms. Urmila, what is going on here?
It's an order from Goldy ji.
But why would he do this out of nowhere?
Mr. Batwaal!
These are just the benches from one class.
Eventually, the other benches, fans, blackboards...
everything that Goldy ji gave your school will be returned.
Madam? Does this kid also belong to Goldy ji?
What?
Nandalal!
Wake up, son. Nandalal!
You are inside a truck, son. Come here.
Come on, come on.
That is why we always say, "Never sleep in class."
What would you do if uncle sold you too?
- Let's go. - Urmila ji...
ABV is still standing because of Goldy ji's blessings.
The school will shut down if you keep doing this.
That is your decision.
You can let this school become history,
or you can teach Goldy ji's History.
- Good morning, class. - Good morning, ma'am.
Sit. Get your books out quickly.
The exams are coming closer, and we have a lot of syllabus to cover.
Who will tell me...
what is relative velocity?
Gopal, you answer the question.
Ma'am, whenever my mother makes a mistake,
my father's sister comes over immediately to cause drama.
Isn't that "relative" velocity?
No, Gopal...
What?
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, kids! Wakey, wakey. Drop it down.
Today we will study,
- relative pronouns alright? - Sir.
Kanchan ma'am? Ain't it my class?
No, sir. My class. It's the second period, right?
It was. Then the bell rang. Now it's the third period.
Three comes after two. I mean, you're the Math teacher,
I am sure you know that.
Why are the periods starting early?
How could I answer that, ma'am?
No uterus. No opinion.
Good morning, ma'am.
Morning, kids. Sit, sit.
- Today we will study-- - Ma'am.
You? Isn't this my class?
Something is wrong, ma'am.
All of our periods have synced up.
Have some shame, sir.
What is happening?
Bye-bye, bye-bye.
Hello? Sir?
Why do you keep ringing the bell over and over again?
Again and again? No, ma'am.
I can only ring the bell if the period is over.
But--
Oh no...
Reset Ramesh returns.
- What Ramesh? - It's Reset Ramesh.
He forgets that he retired 20 years ago.
He shows up to school out of the blue and starts doing his duties as a peon.
Oh, he has short-term memory loss?
For quite a "long-term".
All of his passwords are OTPs.
He showed up just like this, last year.
He rings the bell at any time.
He would walk into an ongoing class and clean the blackboard.
No one was able to study in school for two whole weeks.
But the board exams are coming soon.
How will we complete the syllabus like this?
Why doesn't anyone tell him that we don't need him in school?
A lot of people tried it, ma'am.
They sat him down and spoke to him.
In fact, he's back.
Wait, uncle!
- Uncle... - Wow!
If you work hard, time flies by so quickly.
Seven periods are over in just 22 minutes!
Brother, Reset Ramesh returns.
Hey! Hey, wait! Wait!
School is not over yet! Back to the classroom!
This is what happens every single time.
I will make sure he goes home.
Today, the breeze feels dry and cold
The light has left my weary soul
I've lost my happy, healing place
A very good morning to you, sir.
Sir.
"I stand helpless in this prison."
Through these lines, the poet conveys
the extent of his helplessness.
- His hands are tied. - Leave my hair.
- You hit me first - Chandra-Bindu.
Be quiet.
The next verse.
"But, however, if someone wants to cut off my wings..."
Leave my hand... no you!
Chandra-Bindu.
The poet is warning you.
Bansi, sit between both of them.
Violence has no place in my class.
Now, the next line.
"Or else, I will lose my patience."
Chandra-Bindu!
Now, the next verse will be imprinted on your backs.
Sir! Sir! Sir!
I need you for something important.
Sir, I understand this is difficult for you.
Don't touch me, dude.
Didn't you see how both of them were behaving?
Chandra and Bindu are demons who need to be beaten.
Mincing words is useless.
Sir, have you ever thought about how a demon became a demon?
Was he born a demon?
Or did circumstances turn him into a demon?
If you try to enter a demon's mind...
What demonstrably stupid shit are you spewing?
Just say what you want to say.
Sir, I've had multiple counselling sessions with Chandra and Bindu.
They come from a very troubled household.
By hitting them, you will just be pruning the branches.
But you should remove this problem from its roots, sir.
And then?
What happened next, sir?
After that, the Ganjoo army...
finally cornered Golden Randhawa
and captured him.
You're our hair's messiah...
It's true...
Didn't even rinse it
Yet it's silky through and through
Ganjoo knew that
no barber was brave enough to shave Golden's head.
That is why he pulled one last trick.
Your locks are like mountains!
Who could ever cut them down?
Whose arms possess such mighty power
To bring your tresses down?
From now on, you are my friend.
Now your hair will fly free.
And all the ladies will continue to be entranced.
The guy with the hair routine...
Got royally betrayed
He cut off our majestic warrior's majestic locks!
Amid those dark and flowing curls
A tiny bald spot gleamed
Golden's scream became the spark
that burnt the Ganjoo kingdom to ash.
Sir?
Sir, does that mean
all bald people are backstabbers?
No, it doesn't mean that. Not all baldies.
Yes! All baldies!
And all of you will go home and tell your parents
that we can never trust a bald person.
Understand?
What?
My grandfather passed away.
Urmila ji.
This is wrong.
This much is not an issue.
Study it properly. I will test you on it tomorrow.
Who is this?
Hey, that's me.
Yes! And this is the old headmaster.
Two weeks after he retired, you retired as well.
- I have retired already?! - Yes!
Twenty years ago!
And you're telling me this now?
Madam, I think your memory is very weak.
Uncle, please go home.
This school doesn't need you.
Madam, if I were retired, then I would know that.
Like when Shankar sir retired.
They threw such a grand party for him.
Uncle, Shankar sir retired 20 years ago!
This is a picture of his farewell!
Hey, that's me!
Yes! And this is the old headmaster.
Two weeks after he retired...
Oh God! It feels like I have been reset along with you.
Then consult a doctor, please.
Ma'am, my homework...
- Ramesh uncle! - Bansi, my boy.
It's fine. Come. I will handle it.
Uncle, you go ahead. I will follow you.
Okay, fine.
He can't be helped, madam.
There are some things he forgets,
and others that he can't forget.
- What do you mean? - I mean...
Three years ago, I shat my pants.
Even today, whenever Ramesh uncle sees me,
he grabs me and wipes me clean.
Bansi, my child. It's fine.
Come with me. I will handle it.
Do something, madam! It's as smooth as a mirror already!
Brother, do you have a minute?
- Do you live around here? - Yes.
Are those two demons always so well-behaved?
Only one demon can live in one cave.
And the demon living in that cave is right there.
He does a night shift every night and returns home.
Then he beats his children like he is beating eggs.
If the kids ever open their mouths in front of him,
all you hear are screams.
What are you staring at? Sit!
Where does he work?
Nearby. There is a big glass building.
Go straight, then right.
Don't touch me. I got it, thank you.
Okay.
BALDY ENEMY
- Hey, Baldy! - Where once there stood a mighty forest
Now it's a smooth and treeless hill
My hair has deserted my poor head I feel as though I've been robbed instead
I keep rubbing my nails To console my despair
On this barren land Disappointment blooms everywhere
They slap my shiny scalp Until it glows a fiery red
I rub my head day and night I miss the crown upon my head
The chewing gum stuck to his hair!
Is it really stuck?
In the prime of my youth I lost my precious hair
- Get lost, Baldy! - I need my hair back
All the girls are calling me "Uncle"!
- Where once there stood a mighty forest... - That's the truth.
This is my real hair.
Really? Weren't you bald just yesterday?
I did this the entire night.
I've been robbed instead
"Glab" that baldy!
What part of History are you teaching, sir?
The kid has lice but refuses to cut his hair.
For the last three days, my entire family
has been scratching, scratching, and scratching.
Take a look, sir. It's so big.
Yes, it's so big I can see it from here.
- You guys should look, too. - We get it.
- Take a look. - Sir!
My son is inciting his mother against me.
He says, "Mom, I want a dad with hair."
My Ravinder got angry and tore his uncle's banyan.
But Uncle has thick hair. Why did he do that?
Sir, my Ravinder is a bit bad at spelling.
He thought the issue isn't baldies, it's banyans. So he tore it.
Hey, what are you all saying?
Just how many times has Goldy ji helped this school?
Can't this school help Goldy ji out just this once?
Kids will always act childishly.
It's in their nature.
This much is not an issue.
And are these small pranks really hurting anyone?
Sir, sir! It's Bittu!
Move. Step aside.
Hey, get up.
- Sir... - Get up, son.
Get up.
Show me that.
Does it hurt a lot?
This much is not an issue.
Let's go.
Child, Bittu. Are you okay?
Come on now, child. Stop crying.
I think we will have to call his mother.
Hey! Bittu!
What is wrong, son?
Uncle...
Please leave. We don't need you here.
Look, Bittu, you can fool everyone,
but I know you better than anyone else,
and you won't stop crying until you get your bribe!
Come.
Don't worry.
Ramesh uncle is here for you.
After this, we will go eat your favorite pistachio-flavored kulfi.
The likes and dislikes of every child,
Ramesh uncle never forgets that.
But how?
Who knows?
Maybe the children's words aren't stored in his mind, but in his heart.
Maybe that's why they call it learning something "by heart".
Yes, tell me.
Sir, Sukhiram told me that you got the address to Chandra-Bindu's house.
What are you going to do?
Weren't you the one who said,
"Take his head off from its roots?"
That's exactly what I will do.
Sir, bald kids are already being bullied in school.
Don't make Chandra-Bindu shave their heads for their father's passing.
He...
Hey! Are you deaf?
I have been honking for so long! Can't you hear me?
Do you think you can play around here?
Sorry, sir.
What are you staring at?
What are you staring at, moron?
You'd better pray that I never see you again.
You wasted my damn time!
Damn it! Bloody jerk...
Sir, aren't you the Hindi teacher?
What did Chandra-Bindu do, sir?
What you do to them at home,
that is what they do to each other at school.
Sir, you don't know them that well. They are very mischievous.
It's easy for you to say, don't hit your children--
Hey! I don't say such disgusting things.
Punishment is not meant to crush children.
It is meant to shape them.
But we have a certain Mukul sir at our school.
He believes...
That instead of hitting children,
you should sit them down and talk about your feelings.
Talk about our feelings? Us men?
Why don't we... what do they call it?
Why don't we just start wearing nail polish and henna then?
So?
What is wrong with that?
A man can express his feelings whenever he wants!
Just like me!
Right now.
I will be...
sharing my feelings with you.
No, sir. Please don't do that.
You can hit me if you want, just don't--
Shut up and listen to my feelings!
I understand how a father
fights the world to give his child everything, Devendra.
But that doesn't mean
he should take out his anger against the world on his children.
You are a good father.
All you need to do, before you raise a hand against your child next time...
talk to them nicely.
Touch them.
Maybe that is what they want from you.
What's wrong?
- Can I touch you? - What?
Nobody has ever spoken to me like this, sir.
Can I hug you?
Fine, just hurry up. Someone might see us.
Thank you, Hindi professor. Thank you.
Namaste, sir.
So, today we will be studying GOT.
About Ganjoo Occupied Tinki Toli.
Open your books.
No.
Everyone, return your books.
No, Urmila ji, I will teach them with all my heart.
I won't disappoint Goldy ji.
It's an order from Goldy ji.
Another pose, sir. Now, a picture with the future.
We found the right kid, sir.
Yes, this is the right size. Hey, get me a chair.
Good. Come and sit here.
Sir, move a little closer to the child.
If you touch heads, that will look very cute.
Do it, sir. It will look cute.
Click.
Now say, chair.
Chair!
Now that Goldy ji has lost his hair,
we were spared by a hair's breadth.
Doesn't that mean the heat is on your head now?
To reach greater heights, I am happy to step on the stairs.
Not on children.
Now that you're here, why don't you attend our special assembly?
- Special assembly? - Please come.
A good school isn't just made up of teachers and students.
It is also made from
the efforts of some people whose contributions we often forget.
And we have a person like that in our support staff.
Who we will miss a lot, after today.
Beloved by everyone,
Ramesh uncle!
THANK YOU, RAMESH UNCLE
Ma'am, I will never forget this day.
Thank you, uncle.
This wasn't part of the plan
How will you meet their gaze?
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Hey, Sukhiram. Good morning.
- Off-spin! See you in the evening! - Okay, sir.
Hey...
Are we holding a staff meeting in the corridor today?
Yes, it’s you Oh my, oh my!
- I don't know how I let it slip - Sir.
- Yeah?
Are you working us to the bone so that you can go to a foreign country?
All the secrets I hid came pouring out
Slowly, my heartbeat starts to race
I don't know how I let it slip
Let the wind sweep it far away