Bad boys!
Good morning, folks!
- Good morning, sir. - Wow, looks like full attendance today.
Is it the PT period?
No, sir, we're here for the kheer given out during the mid-day meal.
I love kheer! Alright, scoot along.
Come on, let's go.
It's hot?
Srijan?
What were you doing in there, son?
It's gotten out of hand, sir.
The floodgates have opened.
And sir even swallowed that water!
Sir, it takes six minutes to go from class to the water filter and back.
Double that if there's a line.
Half the period is wasted just fetching water.
And if you ask the kids for help, they take advantage of us.
You know Puru from class 8B?
He charges 50 rupees to fill a bottle.
Even from teachers.
50?
He doesn't charge you 100?
100? He doesn't make you wash his bicycle?
Sir, for the last three years,
we have been requesting you to install a water filter in the staff room.
If you don't do it this year,
then all of us teachers will go on strike together.
- Yes, sir. - Hansraj ji!
Keep your Rajkamal Prakashan Hindi textbook language
inside the classroom.
Who's going to pay for the new water filter?
Because of the extra classes you're holding for the tenth grade,
the budget is already tight.
But ma'am, to get good results in the boards,
teachers' performances matter just as much as the students'.
- Yes. That's right. - Absolutely.
How can any sound come out of a parched throat?
- Speak louder! - Say it louder.
- Go ahead. Say it. - Sir...
how can any sound come out of a parched throat?
Sir, think of this water filter as the offering given to teachers.
- Yes, sir. Please, sir. - I insist.
They'll score well in the board exams only if we get a new water filter.
I understand that the school budget is low every single year.
I know that.
But we have one impact player.
Who?
Our very own...
Respected Urmila Devi ji.
Goldy ji will fund the water filter if you speak to him.
You just need to get him to say "yes."
Yes.
Gyaneshwar and I were going to get married.
He even came to my house as a suitor.
Despite having a B.Ed. degree,
people used to call him "11th fail Gyaneshwar."
Because 11 girls had already rejected him.
- Careful. - Careful, son.
- Give him some water. - Yes.
Have it.
It's very good!
And as soon as I saw him, I decided to turn him down as well.
But then...
Dad!
I wanted to talk to you about something.
- What is there to talk about? - That...
The guy rejected the proposal.
He did?
He rejected the proposal?
My proposal?
The whole neighborhood heard about it.
11th fail Gyaneshwar, rejected the proposal of the 12th girl,
and my wedding dreams suffered their 13th day final rites.
That's why, at the age where I should have been applying henna on my hands,
I started applying ink on other people's hands after voting.
And I decided on one thing.
Urmila ji, please.
The man who poured water all over my dreams
won't even get any water if it were up to me.
It is a "no" from me, Gyaneshwar ji.
Move it! Constantly asking for money!
Now he needs water to make sure the kids pass!
He made me drink piss, sir.
We need a water filter!
- Yes, sir. We need it! - Otherwise, we won't teach!
MY DEAR RICE PUDDING
IN GRAMMAR, EVERY MISTAKE IS A CRIME.
Is there any other child who didn't finish their homework today?
Me.
Bansi is here!
I didn't do my homework.
Looks like Bansi is about to be beaten like a drum today.
Fine.
You can do it tomorrow.
Sir?
I won't do it tomorrow either, sir.
And now, I'm going to join the 4B PT period to play.
Okay, sir.
Bansi won't be beaten today, he will be killed.
Sir!
My shoelaces need to be tied.
"Tie" is the verb in this sentence.
Yeah, so?
Then tie it.
Hey, Abacus.
Make sure you count all the pieces that Bansi's body is cut up into.
Okay.
Why didn't sir hit him?
Are we sure that is Hansraj sir?
It looks like Bansi ended up playing sir instead.
Sir is tying his laces!
Bansi, my hero
Bye, ma'am.
What are you doing?
We've been married for 25 years.
Do I need a reason to hug you?
There are still three weeks left for it to be 25 years.
We can hug again on that day.
Rice pudding?
How is it?
Tell me...
what do you want for our anniversary?
Don't give me anything.
I haven't come up with anything this time either.
You did the same thing last year and gave me a great gift.
I will definitely win this year.
This is very tasty.
Can I get one more bowl?
Too much sweet will end up costing you.
I'll be right back.
How can sweet cost me...
Too much sweet will cost me.
We are facing a terrible problem.
The teachers are quenching the thirst for knowledge,
and we are unable to quench their thirst for water.
So, the topic for today's SMC is--
Just one samosa?
We are low on budget.
From now on, everyone can only eat one samosa.
But Kedia is inhaling two.
Hey, hey. Not allowed. Give it back.
- Give it back. - You could have told me earlier.
I would have eaten the first one slower.
Now, this is--
Give it back.
Give it.
You can all see just how bad the economic condition of the school is.
That is why I need to make a tough call.
To arrange money for the water filter,
from now on, we will not be serving rice pudding in the Tuesday mid-day meal.
- What? - What?
The rice pudding served on Tuesdays is canceled.
- What? - What are you saying?
Sir, TTPS is so close to my house
that if I spit guthka from my window, it will land on their wall.
But I still send my child to a school so far away,
because you serve rice pudding here every Tuesday.
- Yes. - Right?
And you want to stop serving rice pudding? No.
- No way. - Sir, sir, sir.
You already know that the kids are crazy for rice pudding.
My Ravinder tried to cut off the cook's hands after he ate the rice pudding,
so that he could never make the same rice pudding for anyone else.
Keep the knife away from Ravinder!
- What are you doing? - Sir, he carries an extra knife.
Sir, how can you cancel rice pudding?
It has all the nutrients for the kids.
- That's right! - Exactly.
It has milk, rice, and...
what is that tiny thing called?
- Cardamom. - No, not cardamom.
- It's sweet and juicy. - Lips!
No, those are wet.
- No, no, sir. Raisins. - Yes.
- Raisins. - Yes, that's right!
Wait a second.
How do you know that?
Guddu brings some home sometimes.
Our entire family eats it.
Even the neighbors have some once in a while.
Wow!
And here we were wondering
how the school keeps running out of budget.
No, no.
It's fine.
It happens. It does.
Look, I know that...
this decision won't just affect the kids. It will affect you too.
Even your neighbors, right?
But if you...
think of us as mentors,
then please sacrifice the rice pudding as offerings for your teachers.
And if there are no objections,
then sign this.
And I want the pen back this time.
Why make a fuss over a five-rupee pen, sir?
No, you can't use your thumb.
You see, Urmila ji?
Now the teachers' hydration levels won't drop,
nor will I fall at your feet.
Two birds, one rice pudding.
But have you thought about this?
If this rice pudding has shaken 12 parents so much,
imagine how much it will upset 1,200 students.
No! I'm saving this for rice pudding.
Mister, you forgot to add milk and rice to the rice pudding.
No rice pudding from today onwards.
K equals to kheer.
No, child, you had to write it in passive voice.
Read what you wrote.
I miss my kheer every day.
Good. Now change the voice.
I miss my kheer every day!
LOOK AT THE KHEER THIEF TEKING A PISS.
LOOK AT THE KHEER THIEF TAKING A PISS.
Ma'am, you should ask questions related to sex in the reproduction test.
Call it "intercourse" if you like. What is "the union of parents"?
You have written "egg bhurji" instead of "egg fertilization."
For menstruation-- Oh my God!
"A bloody thigh," ma'am?
Sir, how can I just say it?
You have to do it.
Ma'am, you can’t draw a mouth organ when the question is to label the male organs.
What are you doing?
This is the diagram for the male organ, isn't it?
What happened?
Ma'am! You can't blush and run away every single time!
Sharma ma'am!
What happened, sir?
I showed her the penis, and Sharma ma'am blushed and ran away.
Sir?
Oh, no, I was talking about the diagram!
What are you thinking, man?
Oh! Oh, okay, yeah.
But what's the problem, sir?
The board exams will have a 15-mark question on reproduction.
If madam is too shy to teach it, then how will the kids score well?
Please do me a favor, Mukul sir.
Yes, sir.
Please talk to her.
Sir, I'm a children's counselor.
Well, shouldn't children know how children are made?
Look, if Sharma ma'am keeps hiding her face like this,
then we won't be able to show our faces anywhere after the board exams.
Please, Mukul sir.
This is too much, sir.
In Tuesday's essay writing,
one kid actually wrote the love story of "Kheer-Ranjha."
Exactly.
I caught two boys in the computer lab yesterday.
- Really? - Yes.
Sir.
Two boys were watching rice pudding videos on incognito yesterday.
They are going through a heartbreak, sir.
It will take time for them to mend their hearts.
It has been two weeks, sir.
Even a person's mourning period lasts for 13 days.
And they serve kheer after that.
Let me deal with how to handle the children's mourning.
You enjoy the cold water.
- And focus on the board exams. - Of course.
All of you, please focus on the board exams.
Yes.
I am coming in, sir.
Bansi is here
So, what have you brought in your tiffin for me?
Mix-veg again?
Wow! Sweet! For me?
How sweet!
Sir, can you feed me this halwa with your own hands?
It's okay.
Tell Auntie to cook the carrots for a bit longer.
Until they turn red.
It will match your eyes.
You'll get played by Bansi
Don't worry, sir.
The secret of henna will remain a secret.
See you.
In Meena's sadness is Bansi's happiness
Sir?
Are you okay?
Of course I am.
No, you are...
bending the spoon.
What?
Sir?
If there is a problem, you can share it with me.
That is the problem.
I can't share it.
Sir!
The class is too far away.
Carry me.
Bansi! You'll get played by Bansi
Alexander the Great.
Tell me what he would do before going into battle.
Pushkar?
Before every battle, he would...
Exercise.
Stretching.
I think before stepping on the battlefield of exams,
we should exercise as well.
That is why...
your next two periods...
will be PT periods!
Yeah?
Ma'am, the kids already know everything.
If you run around in circles, they will run circles around you.
Just tell them the facts, okay?
In Sex Education, instead of "sex," you need to focus on "education."
Yes. Okay.
Don't worry, ma'am. I'll be right here.
Good morning, ma'am!
- Good morning! - Good morning, sir!
Sit down. Sit down.
So, today we will be studying...
- human reproduction. - Yes!
Ma'am.
Reproduction is wrong.
- What? - The spelling.
Oh, right. Just look at your books. Just check it in your books.
Now, when...
a male... sperm
- comes in contact with a female egg-- - Ma'am!
Ma'am, what is sperm?
Sperm?
Sperm is the thing...
that your dad gives your mom.
Dad gives to Mom?
Orders?
- Taunts? - No man!
Divorce!
Shut up! You...
You tell me.
What did your father bring yesterday?
What did he bring from the market yesterday?
Ma'am, my dad brought bread yesterday.
Yes! Bread... bread... okay.
So...
When dad's bread...
is mixed with mom's besan...
and it is cooked in the cooking pan of the uterus for nine months...
that makes a...
Bread fritter!
Yes.
- No, no... that's... - Ma'am!
So, pregnant women have bread fritter in their stomachs?
- No. - Of course.
That is why they keep craving tangy food.
Without tamarind chutney, bread fritters are tasteless.
Shut up! Saying pointless things. I...
Ma'am, what are you trying to say?
My niece is my sister's pakori?
Palak.
- What? - Ma'am!
Ma'am, after my counseling session,
Mukul sir gave me snacks.
Does that mean
I have sir's bread fritter in my stomach?
Hey! What nonsense?
You said you were hungry yesterday.
I was hungry, but is this how you satisfy my hunger?
No, please, I don't want to be a single mother.
I want to abort this bread fritter.
- Behave yourself! - Sharma ma'am, please tell him.
Ma'am?
- Sharma ma'am! - At least abort the bread fritter first!
Four!
The next one will go out of the stadium.
Not out.
It was a no-ball. Clear no-ball.
Okay, sir. Not out.
What is wrong with you guys?
Why are you all so upset over such a small thing?
Such a small thing?
What?
Hey!
What is so sad about not eating rice pudding for one day?
It's just one bowl!
Sir, we play matches on the nearby field against
TTPS and even private schools sometimes.
Kids there say they have the best swimming pool at school,
and others say they have the best computer lab.
All we could say was
our school serves the best rice pudding.
That one bowl wasn't just our reason for coming to school...
it was also our pride.
And you took that away from us.
Meet me every month, darling
Lock the door, my darling
My slim waist is waiting for you
Sharma ma'am, were you... singing?
Where are you going?
What are you hiding? Where are you going?
All your dirty laundry Will be aired out today
All your hidden secrets Will come to light
Every locked door will be opened
You won't escape today Your secrets will be stripped away
Your tower of lies Will be torn to shreds!
Refuse and deny it if you wish I'll piece together every clue with ease
As clever as you are The criminal won't get that far
Where are you going?
- Hello, child. Gaganjeet is upstairs. - Hello.
- Sorry? - Gaganjeet is upstairs.
- Oh. - Yes, Mittal? My name is Gagan.
The daughter is Gaganjeet. The father is Gaganjyot.
Understand?
Please come a little closer.
Don't be shy.
It might tickle.
Give me your hand.
Gaganpreet...
- Double E, right? - You're busted!
You're busted!
So, you travel so far, all the way to Gurugram,
to apply henna at weddings?
I learned it when I was a child. By applying henna to my sisters.
I got a booking for a wedding last week.
I ran into Bansi there.
And he caught you red-handed.
Coloring hands red.
And since then...
he keeps blackmailing me with this.
If the kids find out
that the man who turns their hands red with dusters during the day
turns his hands yellow at night with henna during weddings...
then just like you, I will also lose respect.
But why do you do this job?
For Sangya and Kriya.
You're saving money for Hindi grammar?
Sangya and Kriya are the names of my daughters.
You've named your daughters "Noun" and "Verb"?
Both of them want to go to London to get MS degrees.
A government salary isn't strong enough
to support the weight of a pound in London.
Along with being a father,
I'm also a teacher.
How could I stop them from learning?
Meena Uncle, hurry up.
Everyone is waiting for you downstairs.
I'll be right there, child.
There was a time
when in this country,
teachers were given an offering of gratitude.
Now...
teachers need to pay a price to be able to teach.
Just watch, if I yell out "sex," she will run away.
Forget about sex,
she will run away even if I yell out "Sensex."
Hey, ma'am is here.
Good morning, ma'am!
Good morning, sir!
Good morning. Please take your seats.
Sex!
Okay.
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
Mom's ovaries release eggs
It stops the egg in the fallopian tubes
Mom's ovaries release eggs
It stops the egg in the fallopian tubes
Understand?
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
Males have only one task
To give the sperm
From penis
When the Sperm meets an egg
It forms an embryo
Not a bread pakora
Bread pakora! Bread pakora! Bread pakora!
That is the process of fertilization
Then it is time for celebration!
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
It happens every month Ovulation
In preparation for insemination
What a sexy performance, Sharma ma'am!
Well done,
Sharma ma'am...
Sharma ma'am!
It happens every month Ovulation
- In preparation for... - Isn't that Sharma ma'am's song?
Show it to me.
That performance went hard.
Even Kanye wouldn't dare grab the mic.
Now, put this away.
You're not allowed to use your phone in school like this.
Are you new?
I'm allowed to do anything.
Sir, go ahead and complete my homework.
Hey, why can't I move?
Bansi will get played now
Sir, I think you're forgetting something.
Oh! Kanchan ma'am deleted it.
Just one second, sir.
Hello, Dad.
Tell Mom I loved her a lot.
Go ahead, sir. I deserve it.
Abacus?
Bansi will get played
Ready?
Bansi will get played now
RICE PUDDING, WHERE ARE YOU?
- We have to convince him. - Yes, we have to.
- Sir? - Yes.
Sir, when we come to school on Tuesdays,
it feels like we just lost the 2023 World Cup finals again.
We can't see the kids in this condition anymore, sir.
That is why all of us have decided, sir,
that we will let go of the water filter and have a comeback for rice pudding.
- No, no, no. - Yes, sir.
You are all working so hard for the boards. That's unacceptable.
But sir, we can't swallow a drop of water
knowing we're snatching food from the children's mouths.
Sir, a parched throat is better than this.
I guess you didn't check the mid-day meal menu for today.
Mister, another bowl of rice pudding.
Sir, what about the budget for this?
Don't worry about that. Enjoy the rice pudding.
Our school has the best.
Let's go.
Hearty congratulations, sir.
Tell me, what are your plans for tomorrow?
Is tomorrow special?
It's sir's 25th wedding anniversary.
Oh! Then you will have to do something special for ma'am.
I did try, but...
my budget has become ordinary for the special surprise.
Anyway, next time.
Sir.
I have an idea.
But please don't tell anyone.
Close your eyes.
No cheating.
Now open them.
It's so cute.
You won this time.
I won many years ago, on this day.
My target was a big TV.
Remember?
The big TV.
Do you remember?
But I didn't have enough money.
That's good.
Otherwise, my gift would be ruined.
Oh, your gift?
Where is it?
Oh, wow!
If we had a big TV, we would sit far away.
How could we do this?
Sushma, one day I will...
definitely take you out of India on vacation.
Promise.
That must be my sister.
Only your sister could show up at the worst time possible.
Please come in, Urmi di.
How are you, brother-in-law?
Come.
My damn sister-in-law is here.