Yeah, I got it.
This is my favorite part. I just fucking love this.
I'm coming up.
You know what strikes me when I watch this?
I mean, apart from the obvious.
I mean, what the fuck, right?
No, what strikes me is how you're moving.
You're not sneaking around. You're not rushing through it.
Cool as the other side of the pillow, man.
- You're a pro. - Well, if I was such a pro,
you wouldn't have that video there, would you?
Yeah, well, don't beat yourself up.
My security system isn't installed yet,
but I always plant a few hardwired i-PROs around the house.
I deal with a lot of dangerous people,
and I've cultivated a level of paranoia that most people would find excessive.
Please sit.
I can explain.
Can you really?
Is this a Thomas Crown Affair kind of thing?
Rich guy, so bored with his life, he risks it all just to feel alive?
Well, let's be honest, you're not that rich.
I mean, this place… any of it legit?
You managing some money?
Just trying to dig myself out.
Well, look, man, no judgment here.
I like a guy who colors outside the lines.
I appreciate that.
But look…
I just got to tell ya, I'm really sorry about this.
It's nothing personal, you know.
I just figured you'd never miss it.
The thing is, that's where you're wrong.
See, 'cause that book isn't just a first edition Wharton in mint condition…
it was a gift from my wife.
And it means more to me than I could ever explain.
I assume you still have it?
Not exactly.
I'm gonna need that book back, Coop.
I'm late for a meeting.
So, to be clear, you're not gonna turn me in?
How about you just worry about getting that book back?
Please rise.
I hereby declare, on oath…
…that I absolutely and entirely…
…that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure
all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate,
- state or sovereignty… - So help me God.
So help me God.
Congratulations, citizens.
- Good morning. - I'm late.
You look nice.
Oh, yeah? I was worried that this blazer screams,
"My brother doesn't think I can handle this job."
So yes to still mad?
I… Let's not do this right now, huh?
I didn't say you couldn't handle the job.
And I didn't say I was still mad.
- Ali, wait. - I gotta go.
How are you getting there?
If you take me, I will consider forgiving you.
You go ahead, you fake fucking bitch.
Mel Cooper?
You recognized me.
- Of course. - How are you, Jeff?
God, you look exactly the same.
Well, must be that portrait tucked in my attic.
I wish I had one of those.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
You know, you saw my daughter recently.
- Tori. - Yes.
- Bright kid. - Yeah, a little too bright sometimes.
She did call our interview "pro forma."
God, I'm so sorry.
You know, she has just not really been herself.
To be honest, we've just…
been going through some stuff at home.
Are you okay?
Do you mind if I come in for a minute?
- Yeah, sure. Come on in. - I'm not bothering you?
No, not at all. Come on in.
- Thank you so much. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, first day of school.
My God.
Private school kids make me nervous.
Come on. They're gonna love you.
Well, of course they're gonna love me.
Everyone loves me.
I'm worried I'm gonna hate them.
That's the spirit.
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah.
Be nice.
Coffee.
Thank you.
But… I don't know.
Dad's here.
Disappointment tour, round two.
Good luck.
Good morning.
- You look tired. - Thanks.
Hey, hey, hey.
My mind's made up, Dad.
I'm not trying to change it.
Really?
I just wish you'd walk me through it.
Get some sleep, Dad.
Okay.
Everything looks good.
It… It does?
I take it this pregnancy wasn't planned?
- Definitely not, no. - Yeah, no.
Wait, why? Does the baby look poorly planned?
The baby's fine.
It's just that you're at the end of your first trimester.
Normally, you would have come in sooner.
Yeah, I guess we just figured we were safe,
you know, with my geriatric uterus.
The updated term is "advanced maternal age."
- That's not much better. - Grace, let me assure you,
you have the uterus of a 25-year-old.
- Just like your ass. - Okay.
Hey, doc, there's just the one in there, right?
- Are you serious right now? - I'm just asking, all right.
I've had enough surprises lately.
What other surprises have you had?
Well, isn't this enough?
Feeling okay, Mr. Choi?
Looking a bit pale.
Yeah, you wanna lie down, hon?
I know how exhausting this must be for you.
Thanks. I'm fine.
Okay. So, music. Let's talk about it.
What's music about for you guys?
Think of the songs that really made you feel something.
Or what… The ones that really hit you.
Why did they hit you the way that they did?
Was it the lyrics? Was it the melody?
The rhythm? The bass?
Come on, guys, there's, like, no wrong answers here.
Yes. Yes, go ahead.
You're supposed to be teaching us chord progressions.
Oh, yeah. Well, we'll get to that.
I just… I don't want this class to just be about music theory.
I mean, it's literally called Music Theory.
Seriously?
I mean, you do know chord progressions, right?
Yeah, of course I know chord progressions.
Okay.
How about a simple 1-4-5 chord progression in D major?
I will start.
I'll play you the chords and then you guys can play them back to me.
Sound good?
Cool. Okay, great.
So it starts on D.
And then it goes to G.
Spying on your senior crush?
Oh, hey.
Oh, no. That's… That's my aunt.
She got the gig?
Yeah, it's her first day.
Cool.
So why are we spying on her?
I'm not.
I mean, it's a thing with Ali.
She kind of marches to her own beat.
So do you, right?
It's not the same thing.
I guess music runs in the family, huh?
Not mine. My dad thinks he's a musician,
but he thinks he's a lot of things that he isn't.
He seems pretty cool.
Yeah? He's not.
Hey.
- You should come over sometime. - Yeah?
The house has this recording studio in the basement.
My dad outfitted the whole thing.
- Cool. Yeah. - So you'll come?
Jesus, Hunter, it's just hanging out.
It doesn't mean we're engaged.
The Wharton book. I need it back.
Sure. Can I see your library card?
Lu, come on.
Why would you possibly need it back?
Not me, the owner.
You got caught.
Yeah, it's a long story, but it's all good.
I just… He just wants it back.
Well, he can't have it.
Why the hell not?
There was a dog market in Buda only once.
I don't know what that means.
It means that's not how this works.
The book's gone. Sold to a collector.
What are you talking about? You had it for, like, two days.
I'm good at my job. Sue me.
- Well, can you get it back? - No.
- Why not? - Because that is not how this works.
- Yeah, you said that already. - Apparently it bears repeating.
Well, can you put me in touch with the buyer?
You are kidding, right?
You got caught, Coop. You think I want any part of that?
Lu, come on. If I don't get that book back,
he's gonna call the cops.
Nah. Just make another deal with him.
No, that's not how this works.
Please, Lu. Please.
I'll make the call, but that's all I can do.
How much is in there?
The hundred grand you gave me for it.
That's not gonna cut it. I sold it for two.
It's called turning a profit, Mr. Money Whiz.
I don't have $200,000 lying around.
You're probably gonna need closer to three.
- Jesus Christ. - Like I said, good at my job.
At least one of us is.
Whenever you're ready. Action!
I'm your man Nick Brandes, and this is Off Brandes.
The Triple Double's latest greatest segment
where we rank the biggest air balls of the week on and off the court.
If anyone's had an off-brand moment,
I'm here for it.
Let's go.
All right, A-cam, make sure you follow him.
He's on fire, man.
When he goes for the spin, try and go in close.
- Yeah, it's gonna look sick! - Okay, that's a wrap.
You missed the walk-through.
Shit. That was today?
Yeah, it's been on your calendar
long before this shoot was.
This gym expansion has to be a priority, Nick.
Your people should have checked with me.
No, no, it's on me.
With escrow closing on the new house and now the show,
I haven't been paying attention. I…
Sorry.
Hey, never apologize for working hard.
All right?
Former athletes have a window.
You're in yours.
You can't be expected to be across every detail of your business.
That's why you pay me.
Power of attorney?
Yeah, yeah. It's just so I can keep the gyms on track
while you're becoming America's most beloved sports personality.
- Should I have my lawyer review this? - I already sent it over to Doug.
It's boilerplate. He's fine with it.
You got a pen?
Okay.
Everything okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?
I don't know. You just seem kind of nervous.
I'm always nervous, Nick.
No, more than usual I mean.
Well, actually…
Grace is pregnant.
- Get the fuck out of here. - Yeah.
- You serious? - I am.
- Congrats, my man. - Thanks.
Thank you… Thank you.
I thought you were getting yourself snipped.
I was. I was.
I missed the appointment.
And I hadn't gotten around to rescheduling it yet, so…
- Okay. - Yeah.
Well, fuck it, let's toast.
Okay, yeah.
Here we go for you.
That is two, and three kids.
- You… - Yeah.
Yep. I know that's an accident.
But you know what?
To happy accidents.
What?
What… What the hell is that?
That's my next endorsement deal.
It's called Straight Shot Nonalcoholic Whiskey.
That's a terrible idea.
Have you already committed?
- Not yet. - Don't.
Why not? You get the experience without the poison.
Nick,
the poison is the experience, okay?
Tor?
In here.
You're home.
What does that smell like to you?
- Mom. - It smells like dog piss.
Yeah.
I'm gonna kill that damn dog.
Nice, Mom.
Well, I don't mean literally.
Why are you all dressed up?
Am I?
So, listen, and please don't be mad.
Not a great start.
I was able to make some calls,
and Princeton is still on the table.
I'm sorry, what?
I got them to reject your rejection.
- Un-fucking-believable. - It doesn't mean you have to go.
- It just means you have options. - You don't know when to stop.
And options are good.
Okay.
I'll just decline again.
Not unless that's the last time you want to see your phone.
I'm 18, Mom.
- And on the family plan. - Dad's plan.
He feels the same way I do.
Right, well, this is my life.
Then why don't you tell me what you wanna do with it?
I want to figure it out for myself.
I know that technically you're an adult,
but your prefrontal cortex is not fully developed
until you're about 26 years old, so--
Don't-- Okay, don't do that.
- You are not my therapist. - No, but I see plenty of kids your age.
Not anymore you don't.
What do you even do all day?
I don't think it's me you're really mad at.
Yeah, no, it's a hundred-percent you.
I told Daddy you were doing this to punish both of us.
I… I guess I was wrong. I guess it's just me.
Right.
Or have you considered the mind-blowing possibility
that not everything is about you?
You just told me it was 100% about me.
God. Jesus Christ, Mom. That was about not respecting my choices.
Oh, my God. I am trying so hard not to disrespect your choices.
Good. Because I think you lost that right
when you chose to attack your husband's ex-lover and get fired.
You keep trying to shove me into making the same decisions you made,
but I look at you,
and all I can think is why the fuck would I wanna be like you?
Surprise!
You trying to give me a heart attack or what?
That's what you get for letting me sleep on your couch.
Give it up for our brand new gringa!
Let's dance!
Hey.
What?
You look terrible.
Okay. Careful.
- A lot of people end up dead around me. - Now I gotta watch myself, don't I?
- Which shithole are you taking me to? - Martine's.
Supposed to be the hottest place in town.
What? Was that a mistake?
I'm just trying to keep a low profile.
- Right. You're embarrassed of me. - Martine's is very…
- What? No. - I'm joking.
Come on, Sam. I get it. You were shunned.
- Shunned is a strong word. - And you don't wanna
- walk right into the belly of the beast. - I like "persona non grata." Exactly.
- I know just the place. - Great.
Lu?
The buyer's agreed to meet.
Lunch tomorrow. I'll send you the address.
Okay, great.
- Thank you. - You wanna thank me?
Don't look like an amateur.
If you look like an amateur, I look like an amateur.
Okay.
It's not okay. I have a reputation to worry about.
Coop, you there?
Yeah, I'm here. Don't look like an amateur, got it.
You got the cash?
I'm about to.
God help us.
Hey, listen. I know this isn't just business as usual for you,
so I just wanted to say thank you and I really apprecia…
You're gone, aren't you?
She's not there.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Goodness.
- How does it feel? - I don't know.
Like… it's nice to finally feel like I belong.
- You know? - Yes. I got you something.
Shut up.
No. I told you not to steal one of these for me.
Come on. I wouldn't steal a gift.
I bought it at the store like a person.
You went to Cartier for me?
Well, it's very basic rich bitch.
Well, there's a gift receipt in the box if you wanna exchange it.
I would never.
Thanks, Coop.
This means the world.
So now what?
Well, I'm already working on getting my parents here.
I even hired a lawyer and everything.
That's terrific. Good for you.
I just have to prove that I make enough money to support them both,
which is not gonna happen on my housekeeper salary.
So I'm still very much into doing the thing that we're definitely not doing.
I'm gonna need every dime I can get.
Well, speaking of, I think Barney's got us sorted out.
Really?
Can you explain to me again how my money is gonna grow in Nick's gyms?
No, not really.
In fact, it will probably get smaller, but at least it will look legit
according to the IRS.
Fucking America, man.
Tell me about it.
- So, what's up? - What are you talking about?
You didn't come all this way just to give me this.
Come on.
How many times do you become a United States citizen?
I figured it was worth the drive.
Don't get soft on me now, Coop.
That's not gonna happen.
Okay, I'm gonna go back in.
Okay, enjoy yourself.
- Thanks again. - You're welcome.
You take all your dates here?
Historically, the women I've dated would probably not appreciate
the pleasures of a pizza joint.
You need to date different people.
Yeah, I'm trying. Cheers.
Cheers.
All right. So tell me about yourself.
Where are you from?
South Boston.
Wow, really? A Southie?
How'd you lose the accent?
Years of practicing in front of the mirror trying to sound like Molly Ringwald.
- You were driven. - I was.
Booked it out of there as fast as I could.
Yeah, but it stays with you, doesn't it?
I mean, no matter how much money I make, the Westmonts of the world
always make me feel like the kid with the stinky lunch.
Tell me about it.
I thought I was in, and then, you know, one wrong move and I'm out again.
Yeah, one wrong move.
- Yeah, well. - Well, that's a spectacular undersell.
It's not like you used the wrong fork for your salad.
Look, I'm not saying I don't deserve it.
Mistakes were made.
You know, I was… I was under duress.
Is that an explanation or an excuse?
Can it be both?
Whatever gets me the second date.
- All right, here you go. - You are not ready for this.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
All right.
After you.
- Oh, my God. - How fucking good is that?
- Oh, my God. - Right?
My work takes me all over the world.
And everywhere I go, I always find a little hole-in-the-wall pizza joint
'cause they always have the best slices.
Speaking of which, you haven't told me what it is you do.
Yeah, it's boring.
Also, in European culture, it's considered gauche to even ask.
Well, we're in Westchester, so you're shit out of luck.
I own a shipping company.
Would you like to elaborate?
What is it that you do with the shipping company?
We have… We have container ships,
and we move merchandise from point A to point B.
- That's it? - That's it.
That's it?
- That's it? - It's exciting, right?
- You have so much money. - I have a lot of ships.
Okay, so you're either being evasive, or it really is that boring.
Can it be both?
Touché.
All right. Enough about me.
Walk me through it.
How does the hottest girl in South Boston end up in Westmont Village?
You know, I wasn't the hottest girl in South Boston.
- That was Heather Burns. - Come on.
- Heather Burns. - Yes. Heather Burns.
Where is she now?
- Still there, teaching middle school. - Yeah?
Oh, respect. Okay.
- How's she looking? - She is still hot.
- Would you like her number? - You're just being nice. No, no.
I just wanna know if everybody from South Boston looks like you.
We could drive there right now.
Oh, God.
These fucking kids.
They sit there like fucking robots.
They got no energy, no engagement, no excitement.
I think the job is less me teaching the music
and more just trying to get them to give a shit.
Well, if anybody can do that, you can.
Oh, says the guy who thinks I can't hack it.
I thought you forgave me for that.
I did.
But it doesn't mean you stopped thinking it.
I don't know what I think.
This is some strong shit, man.
It's medical grade.
There was this study done at Harvard where they took a bunch of ordinary rats,
and they separated them arbitrarily into two different cages.
And then they labeled the cages.
One they labeled "really smart" and the other they labeled "dumb as shit."
They wrote "dumb as shit" on a cage at Harvard?
The point is,
then they took a bunch of students,
and they had the students take a rat from each cage,
and they had the rats run a maze.
And do you know what happened?
- The "dumb as shit" ones couldn't do it. - That's right.
The rats were all exactly the same.
But because of the labels, the students had expectations of them,
and so the rats lived up to those expectations.
Why are we talking about this?
Because I am the rat.
And if you think I'm gonna fail, I'm…
Probably will.
Anyway.
Maybe it's time you let me find my way out of the maze by myself.
Tori, hey.
I can't with Mom. I'm moving in.
You saw her too, right?
First my back went out.
Then I got caught red-handed.
Now I had pawned something for 100,000 bucks
that I would have to buy back for twice that, at minimum.
It was all putting a serious dent in my pride.
Not to mention my cash flow.
And the irony was,
I would have to hit multiple houses at the exact moment
I was starting to wonder if I was even any good at it.
Right this way, sir.
What the fuck?
Ashe?
Surprised?
Surprised is a word.
I'm the buyer.
What?
Bon appétit.
You have to try this crudo, man.
It's fucking insane.
You bought your own book back?
Yeah, I told you. It means a lot to me.
How did you track it down?
Well, the hot books market's not really a large one.
So, this whole idea of me chasing around trying to find it, that was just for fun?
Exactly. Team building.
Okay. Well, no harm, no foul.
Wait. I'm still out 200 grand.
Yeah. Here's 150.
Give me another week, I'll get you the rest.
How you gonna do that? You gonna rob somebody else?
Come on.
I got a better idea.
Sit down.
Okay, look.
I'm looking to move some money into a hedge fund.
Or establish a position, or however the fuck you say it.
Yeah, well, I'm not really in that business anymore,
but I can introduce you to some guys who--
It's a Bailey Russell fund.
You're talking about Excelsior.
Excelsior is Jack Bailey's baby.
He runs it and he pretty much hates me.
Well, you're gonna be coming in with 400 million bucks,
so I think he'll get over it.
If you're investing $400 million, you don't need me.
You'll be fighting off every firm in town with a stick.
I'm sure you're familiar with the Office of Foreign Assets Control.
OFAC, yes.
How the fuck did you get on the OFAC list?
I ship cargo all over the world.
And let's just say the US Government
is not on speaking terms with some of my clients.
And the new administration has a big, fat hard-on for me.
My assets, such as they are, are vulnerable to seizure.
So I have to diversify quickly.
You can't ask me to do that.
- I'm not asking. - It's against the law.
You robbed my house.
This is different.
- Yeah? I don't think it is. - Well, listen.
Even if I could get you into Excelsior, which I cannot,
there is no way that your money clears compliance.
- You're saying you can't do it? - I'm saying no one can.
You don't become what you want.
You become what you believe.
Oprah said that.
Good. Get her to manage your portfolio.
Come on, Coop.
There's 17,000 people on that list.
You seriously expect me to believe there's not one SDN investing
in Bailey Russell funds?
Look, man. It's a zero-sum game.
You can help me out, or you can get arrested…
again.
So now it's just straight blackmail?
Look…
we're driven men, you and I.
We've worked hard for what is ours,
and we'll do what we have to do to keep it.
So I know you get it.
I'll give you 48 hours to come up with a plan.
Do you wanna split a chocolate cake?
How are you with gluten?
Can we get two forks, please?
There are moments in your life that you regret in hindsight.
And then there are the moments you're already regretting
even while they're still happening.
I knew it was a bad idea to get involved with Owen Ashe,
but I couldn't see a way out of it.
And if nothing else, I had to marvel at my unrivaled ability
to take a bad situation and make it so much worse.
Beep.
Lehayim.
How's your new roommate?
I'll let you know once she starts talking to me.
How are you?
You know, I've been better.
You know why she came to you, right?
Because I'm her father.
'Cause you're the vacation parent.
The fun one.
Okay, are you mad because she's pissed at you,
or because she came to me?
- Seriously. - You were always at work.
I was the one who had to hold the line.
You'd maybe emerge for a couple of hours on weekends,
but all bets were off.
You never said no to her.
She was always so good.
She was good because I was on it.
"Brush your teeth. Drink your milk. Do your homework. Be home by 11:00.
Get off your screens.
You can't leave the house wearing that outfit."
Whenever they came to you for permission for something,
you'd be like, "What did Mom say?"
Yeah, 'cause I was backing you up.
You were passing the buck.
Oh, please.
I gave everything I had to those kids, and somehow I'm the asshole.
Well, if the shoe fits.
Come on.
Girls push back against their mothers.
It's a thing. It'll pass.
I guess you're just thrilled you get her all to yourself.
Well, it's not the worst.
If I'm being honest, my house can be a little lonely.
I mean, I lived with you guys for 18 years.
It's honestly kind of nice to have her slamming doors
and rolling her eyes at me.
Ain't it?
This will run its course, Mel.
She's gonna need her mom.
But she's gonna be gone soon.
Yeah.
Even if she doesn't go to college, she's…
off on her way.
God, it just doesn't seem that long ago
we brought her home from the hospital, does it?
Yeah. I remember the hospital.
You came to pick us up and forgot where you parked.
Well, I was a little bit stressed. It was…
- Walking around… - First kid.
…the parking structure for an hour.
Twenty minutes, tops.
God, you thought Tori was gonna die of exposure.
It was cold.
No, it wasn't.
First kid.
Yeah.
For sure.
You have these kids, this family, and it's your whole world.
And then you realize everybody leaves.
First Tori's gonna go, then Hunter and then…
Who am I gonna be?
Some lonely old hag living in a big empty house.
Well, I mean, if you wanna downsize, we can talk about it.
No fucking way. Get outta here.
How the hell did this happen?
We were never supposed to get this old.
We blinked.
Hey…
Not a big deal,
but I just got a bill for $3,000 for something called a Mona Lisa?
That is a skin treatment. It's…
- All right. - For your…
Yeah.
Smile.
Yeah, everyone's mad on social media complaining about ratings
saying they want the '90s back.
- And then those same folks complain… - Whiskey.
…as soon as they have to…
- Hey. - Hey.
Hey. Look at that.
Don't tell me the patron saint of flopping is weighing in on this.
I know you're talking to him and not me.
Yeah. Already took out my usual fee.
Kwan Park Technologies.
Your father-in-law. Very clever.
Yeah.
Now I get to pay taxes.
Well, legitimate income's expensive.
I was just very fall-prone. Vertigo and whatnot…
It would help if I had some sense of future cash flow.
Yeah, about that.
Things are gonna be a little quiet for some time.
Quiet? I just got everything set up.
- What did you do? - I got caught.
I'm sorry, what?
Coop, am I exposed here?
You're fine. Jesus, Barney.
It's a legit question. Who caught you?
Owen Ashe.
- Why the hell would you rob Ashe? - Why the hell wouldn't I?
He's like some kind of arms dealer or something.
- Is that true? - I don't know. That's the rumor.
Well, now he wants me to manage an investment for him.
So, he caught you robbing his house and now he wants to hire you?
What am I missing here?
He's on the OFAC list.
- Shit. - Yeah.
It's a sizable investment.
How sizable?
Extra large.
Controversial thought.
Maybe this is your ticket back to the big game.
You are taking this surprisingly well.
I know, right?
Crime suits me. Who knew?
One more.
So, don't take this the wrong way but…
That was better than usual.
Good.
What's gotten into you?
What? Can't a…
Can't a man put a little energy into pleasing his wife?
He sure can.
Also…
I'm not gonna work for your father.
I'll get you a towel.
- …any more? - Not a chance.
I could see he was scared stiff 'cause he talked as much as he did.
- I don't get it, Johnny. - Hey.
About these two other guys…
I'm looking up Kubrick's filmography.
Can you do it after the movie is over?
No, I wanna be able to contextualize as I go.
- This is one of his first features. - Yes, I know.
It's impressive.
It's fine, I guess.
It's fine, you guess?
- Dad. - It's The Killing. It's a masterpiece.
Which I'll never get to see if you don't press play.
I take it you'd rather not talk about…
- About Mom-gate? - Is that what we're calling it?
Dad.
It's just… I don't know.
It's just not very evocative.
Sorry, I haven't focus grouped it yet.
Can we just watch the movie?
Fine.
You mean there's gonna be two other guys in on the deal
and we ain't gonna know who they are?
That's right. You know who they are and…
This setup is insane.
Yeah. My dad likes to flex even when no one's looking.
Hey, Hunter. Good to see you, bud.
Hey.
Did you need something or…
Huh? No, no, no. No, I just heard the music.
It sounded nice. Wanted to see where it was coming from.
- You play really well. - Thanks.
You know, I play a pretty mean guitar if you ever feel like jamming.
Oh, shit.
Gotta tune these.
I'm gonna bounce and leave you guys to it.
Good to see you, pal.
Sorry about that.
Was he any good?
I don't know. I've never seen him play.
I feel bad for all these guitars wasting away.
You should see his fencing gear that he's used maybe, like, twice.
ADHD and an unlimited budget is a bad combination.
Well, my dad plays golf
and watches old movies till he falls asleep so…
That sounds awesome.
You always make me look so much--
Cooler. Hotter.
You need to do something about that girlfriend.
Westmont PD.
Stay here.
Hands up! Hands up!
- Dad! - Andrew Cooper.
You are under arrest for breaking and entering and grand larceny.
It's not yours if you can't keep it.
Fuck.
Hey.
Warm-up shot.
So…
did you come to play?
Yeah. Something like that.
All right. Lay it on me.
Well…
We're gonna need to set up four different shell companies.
Two overseas, two here.
And a handful of intermediary accounts.
Great. My guys can take care of all of that.
Well, I'll need to oversee it.
The Treasury Department doesn't have the resources
to scrutinize every transaction.
A billion dollars is not exactly gonna fly under the radar.
The number was 400 million.
Where did you get a billion?
A billion-one, actually…
The amount of money I invest
has to be less than 40% of money under my management
to avoid triggering a KYC check at Bailey's.
- KYC? - "Know Your Customer."
See, this is why I need you, 'cause you know all this shit.
So you kick back the 600 once we get into Excelsior, right?
- If we get into Excelsior. - Yeah.
We're getting in.
You know I take a 4% management fee.
Your fee is me not having you arrested.
Remember?
Come on. Let's get loaded.
Toast our new partnership.
It's not a partnership.
You're blackmailing me.
Two things can be true at the same time.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Get outta here!
Shoo! Go on.
- Hi. - Hi.
You just… You left this over at my place.
What the…
What the fuck is this?
You're welcome.
- Hey, what's up? - I have our next house.
Yeah, I… Man, I don't think I can do it.
My back's been seizing up all week.
Come on, Coop.
I have a good window.
They're away for a week. Easy in, easy out. Just like Ashe.
Well, I was feeling better then, and now the pain's been pretty intense.
- So I don't think I can do it. - It's a good window, Coop.
I'm sure it is.
Okay.
Well, then how about you drive and I go in?
That's not how we do it.
Well, maybe we should change how we do it if your back is gonna be a problem.
It's… it's not a problem.
I just need a little time.
Okay.
- Feel better, viejo. - Thank you.
Jesus. Sneaking up.
Sorry.
Make some noise, you know,
or I'm gonna have to hang a bell around your neck.
Is your back bothering you?
Yeah.
Never get old, my friend.
Something on your mind?
Yeah.
I'm wondering how to write a breakup text.
That's easy. You don't.
Breaking up should always be done in person.
- Always? - Yes.
Whether you're dating or you're breaking up,
the rules are the same.
- What rules? - Don't be a dick.
It'd be so much easier just to write a text.
Yeah, I'm sure it would.
Something happen?
Yeah.
What's her name?
Delilah.
Ashe's daughter, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, she's pretty cool.
Well, you gotta deal with Morgan first.
In person.
Okay.
Then see what's up.
All right, well, good talk.
You want a beer?
- Yeah. - No.
Nice try. But you can get me one.
Okay.
Thank you.
We're looking for a different fee structure, okay?
Listen, I sat on your side of the table long enough to know when it's bullshit.
Nothing beats the thrill of hitting the street with a big chunk of change.
Even when the change in question isn't yours…
Hey, Coop. How are you?
…and you're hitting the street under duress.
I was the toast of the town.
Everyone singing for their supper
while they paid for mine.
Don't waste your time chasing Medallion.
Roanoke outpaced them two years straight.
And here I thought Roanoke was a closed fund.
For some people.
It was surreal, really, how fast I could slip back into it.
The patter, the ball-busting, the bullshit.
And I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that had missed it.
Because this… I knew how to do this.
Bullshit.
We can… We wanna be in the Andrew Cooper business long-term.
But what about the fee structure?
We can talk about a cap for the first two years.
Well, it was great catching up, Coop.
I knew you'd be back.
It was just a question of when.
I don't believe you.
The game hadn't changed.
It never does.
And I had to remind myself that I was here to play a different one.
And that game was just getting started.