WEBVTT

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Can't understand

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Why we treat each other in this way

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Taking up time

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With the silly, silly games we play

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We've got our love

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And no matter how it's said or done

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We are one

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No matter what we do, we are one

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Our love will see us through
We are one

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And that's the way it is, we are one

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Ladies and gentlemen, Hampton University.

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Welcome home, Ms. Wanda Sykes.

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Please, please take a seat.

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Thank you, Hampton. Thank y'all so much.

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I love y'all.
I love you, I love you, I love you.

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Thank you so much.

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I'm home, y'all.

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This is amazing.
It's… It's good to be back.

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You know, it's been a minute.

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I'm sure y'all like me,
campus has changed.

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I can't find shit.

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I'm like…

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We didn't have all this when I was here.

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I mean, the student center,
the cafeteria is amazing.

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You see these kids,
they got all these options now. Yeah.

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What the hell is that?
Vegan, here's the gluten-free stuff.

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They got… They… They…
They even got a he, she, they.

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We ain't had that when I was here.

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We ain't had that option. We…

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There was only one choice you had to make
when I was here.

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Gravy, baby?

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That was it. That was it.

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It was about the gravy.

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And don't sleep. You better pay attention,

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'cause when she go, "Gravy, baby?"
if you distracted, you gonna get gravy.

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You gonna… She gonna… "Mm."

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Gravy, baby?

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Oh, I guess I got gravy on my fruit cup.

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I ain't see that coming.

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So… Man, I… I feel like
I can breathe a little bit being here.

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You know, right?

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I don't know about y'all,

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but what the hell's going on
out there now?

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Boy, I feel like I've been stuck
in the shittiest escape room ever.

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I can't figure it out.

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All the clues have been redacted.

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I mean, what is this?
What are we living, y'all?

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I mean, the… the… the show
Stranger Things ain't got shit on us.

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'Cause at least that show has
some logic to it.

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You know what I'm saying?
Like, they had The Upside Down world.

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Shoot, you flip this bitch upside down,

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it'll be raining racist grifters
and pedophiles. It'd be like…

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Girl, a billionaire just fell
through my roof.

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How we gonna get out of here?

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There's nowhere…

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We need Harriet Tubman
to get us out this bitch.

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This administration is so incompetent.

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In the files, they released the names
of the Epstein survivors.

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Come on, man.
Like, how do you screw up redacting?

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That… That's just crossing shit out.

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That… That's pre-K.

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You know what I'm saying?
Like, uh, when in doubt, cross it out.

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Maybe they ran out of ink
crossing all the Trumps out.

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Maybe that was it, you know?

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Oh yeah, you know he's in there.
He's in there. He's…

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What… We… We knew before the files
were even released that he was in there.

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We saw the pictures,
him all chummy chummy with Epstein

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and, you know, video of him
at that party with Epstein. And he…

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Biting his bottom lip.

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When you bite your bottom lip,
that's some lascivious shit right there.

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You… You up to no good
when you biting that bottom lip.

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You're like, "Mm, I'm gonna
fuck something up. Yeah, mm."

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You see somebody walking towards you
with they bottom lip like this, run.

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Get out of there.

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They mean you no good.

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I can't believe I'm gonna say this, y'all.

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But I miss 2016 Trump.

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Baby Trump seems cute now.

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You know, we just had to humor him.

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Yeah… "Oh, I'm gonna build a wall."

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Oh, you gonna build a wall?

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Yes, you are gonna build a wall.

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You gonna build
a big, beautiful wall, aren't you?

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Uh-huh.

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"And I'm gonna lock her up."

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That's right. Lock her up.

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Lock her up.

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Lock her up.

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Lock her up. Lock…

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That Trump was harmless 'cause
we had the guardrails up on his crib.

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You know.

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This Trump, there is no supervision.

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This man is off the rails.

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You see he posted that shit
about the Obamas?

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He posted the Obamas as apes.
What the hell, y'all?

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I mean, even racists were like,
"Now that's too far."

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You're the president, show some decorum.

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And there's no decorum anymore.

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All these politicians just cursing.
Everybody's cursing.

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That's my job. I…

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Chuck Schumer out there,
"You fuck off!" I'm like, "Hey, hey."

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Trump got them all cursin'.

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You… You know it's bad

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when… when the State of the Union is
about to come on, you like,

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"Oh, here come the president.
Get them kids out the room."

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"Get the kids out of the room."

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We used to have standards, y'all.

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There was a… There was a bar,
a high bar, right?

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Remember Howard Dean?

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Howard Dean, yeah, yeah,
Democratic candidate, right?

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He ruined his career.

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2004, he ruined his career.

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It wasn't scandal.
No, it wasn't a scandal.

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It was over-exuberance.

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Because he screamed weird.

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He did well in the Iowa caucus,
and he got a little too excited.

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He's like, "And then we're gonna go
all the way to the White House, yeah!"

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And he did that, "Yeah!"

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And everybody was like,
"The fuck you yah-ing about?"

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Ruined his career, over.

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We went from, you can't "yeah" to this.

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"I just grab 'em by the pussy. Mm."

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This man is…

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Y'all, Trump believes,
because of the Civil Rights Act,

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that white people
have been treated unfairly.

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He even got a 1-800 number.

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This is true.
So they can report their hardship

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and file for reparations.

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Can you believe that shit? What the hell?

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I mean, what… what… what more
do they want? Man, come on.

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Okay, first you steal our music,
now you want our justice too?

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I don't want this 800 number shit.

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My family's white.

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They'd be reporting my ass every day.

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I can see my son calling now.

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"Yeah, this Black woman
won't give me a PlayStation."

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You better not be on that phone again.

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Yeah, I… I have a white family.
My… my… my wife is white.

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Uh, well, she's… she's French.

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She's French,
but you know if shit goes down…

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And we have twins, Olivia and Lucas.
They're 16 now.

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You know, they're…
they're… they're white too, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Black excellence.
You're looking at it right here.

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Well, unfortunately, racism,

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it is in this fabric
of the country, right?

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It's in… It's here, and it's…

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Remember, it hasn't been that long

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since, like, during
the Civil Rights Movement, right?

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And our people were out there
marching peacefully.

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And that… that…
those people in that angry mob

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who were yelling stuff
and… and just evil stuff

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and… and… and spitting on them,

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some of them are still alive.

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And they had kids.

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And you know they indoctrinated those kids
with that same hate.

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Yeah. One image
that really stuck out, uh, to me,

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I was watching, uh, Eyes on the Prize,

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and, uh, there was
a… a… a little white boy

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standing out there with a clarinet.

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And he was playing "Dixie."
And he was just out there…

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Now, first of all,
the clarinet is an evil instrument.

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We can all agree.

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Any parent who's been in the house

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with a child learning an instrument,

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you know it's hard.

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But a clarinet,

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that's… that's a whole 'nother level
of tolerance right there.

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Like…

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But I think about that little boy because,
you know, this little boy grew up.

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And you know who I think he is today?

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Lindsey Graham.

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He had his pinkies up
when he was playing too.

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This is just an ugly administration, man.

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You… Y'all see Pam Bondi testifying
in front of Congress?

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I should say
testi-lying in front of Congress?

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Just, I mean, she was just ugly.

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Just, I mean… just…
You… You know what? Here's the thing.

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I never wanna hear
the phrase "angry Black woman" ever again.

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Don't… just… uh-uh.

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Nope.

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Nah.

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Not accepting that.

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I mean, Bondi,

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Noem, Leavitt. Phew.

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These are white women on steroids.

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You know what I'm saying? I'd be like,
they… they put Karens to shame.

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Karens like, "Oh shit, here they come.
Go, move."

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Karens be doing shit like,

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"Um, you know,
I called the cops on this Black man."

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"He was napping."

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That ain't nothin' what… what they doing.

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Noem is like,
"I sent a Puerto Rican to the Congo."

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It rough, man.

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But here's the thing,
like, women, just, like, imagine,

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like, if… if we all got on the same page
and worked together,

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we could run everything.

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We could.

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But, I mean…
but we know that's impossible.

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'Cause the only time you see
white women working together

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is in synchronized swimming.

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They in sync in that pool, boy. They…

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Well, Black women,
you know, we check each other, right?

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And if one of us gets out of line,
pfft, we just write you off.

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You done. Right?

00:16:01.794 --> 00:16:03.003 align:center
Nicki Mi-who?

00:16:09.009 --> 00:16:11.011 align:center
I don't… I don't know her.

00:16:11.512 --> 00:16:14.932 align:center
Everybody's like, "Well, Wanda,
we have to make it to the midterms."

00:16:15.015 --> 00:16:18.936 align:center
I'm like, "You really think
we're gonna survive to the midterms?"

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Not with RFK Jr.
as our secretary of health.

00:16:24.274 --> 00:16:26.902 align:center
This non-vaccine mug, what the hell?

00:16:26.986 --> 00:16:29.154 align:center
I mean, come on, man.

00:16:29.238 --> 00:16:31.740 align:center
He got old diseases coming back.

00:16:31.824 --> 00:16:33.951 align:center
Shit that we already cured is back.

00:16:34.576 --> 00:16:35.828 align:center
Measles is back.

00:16:37.079 --> 00:16:39.081 align:center
In a… In a few more months,

00:16:39.164 --> 00:16:42.459 align:center
we going to be sounding
like an old western or something.

00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:45.087 align:center
"Hey, Wanda,
what happened to your sister?"

00:16:45.170 --> 00:16:47.673 align:center
"Oh, she died of consumption."

00:16:59.810 --> 00:17:00.769 align:center
Shoot.

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What…

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Shit.

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Look, soon as I heard that he was
the nominee, I didn't hesitate.

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I ran down to the CVS.

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I was like, "Okay, uh,
I'm gonna need like three shingles."

00:17:22.958 --> 00:17:25.085 align:center
"Uh, give me two COVID shots."

00:17:25.169 --> 00:17:29.048 align:center
"Uh, what else you got back there?
You got any tetracycline back there?"

00:17:29.131 --> 00:17:30.424 align:center
"Give me some of that."

00:17:32.092 --> 00:17:34.219 align:center
I knew where this shit was heading.

00:17:35.137 --> 00:17:39.141 align:center
This man stays in office any longer,
boy, you gonna go to the pharmacy,

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and behind the counter, it's just going
to be mason jars with shit in it.

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Just labels, and…

00:17:48.609 --> 00:17:51.236 align:center
You walk in there,
your eye's just oozing and shit.

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You like, "Uh, I don't know
what's going on with my eye."

00:17:53.906 --> 00:17:55.866 align:center
The pharmacist be like,
"Oh, wait, wait, hold on."

00:17:55.949 --> 00:17:57.367 align:center
"One sec, one sec, one sec."

00:17:57.451 --> 00:17:59.286 align:center
"Ah. Ah, yeah."

00:18:14.802 --> 00:18:15.886 align:center
Messed up. I'm telling you.

00:18:15.969 --> 00:18:19.264 align:center
The germs and the… the plague
or whatever don't get us,

00:18:19.348 --> 00:18:22.184 align:center
now we got to worry about ICE. Yeah.

00:18:23.268 --> 00:18:25.312 align:center
Yeah. ICE is out here now.

00:18:25.395 --> 00:18:26.605 align:center
Now, here's the thing.

00:18:26.688 --> 00:18:29.983 align:center
They're… They're… They're supposed to be
going after violent criminals, right?

00:18:30.067 --> 00:18:33.153 align:center
That's… That's what they said.
They're gonna get violent criminals

00:18:33.237 --> 00:18:36.115 align:center
who aren't supposed to be here,
get them off the streets.

00:18:36.198 --> 00:18:38.617 align:center
Now, I'm like, okay,
I'm… I'm down with that.

00:18:38.700 --> 00:18:39.743 align:center
But here's the thing.

00:18:39.827 --> 00:18:43.247 align:center
I… I want all violent criminals
off the street.

00:18:47.876 --> 00:18:50.963 align:center
If somebody came up to me
and just started stabbing me,

00:18:51.046 --> 00:18:52.881 align:center
I'm not gonna be like… "Ah."

00:18:52.965 --> 00:18:54.675 align:center
"Ooh."

00:18:54.758 --> 00:18:56.927 align:center
"Wait… Wait a minute."

00:18:57.636 --> 00:18:58.637 align:center
"Where you from?"

00:19:09.523 --> 00:19:11.400 align:center
"You stab like a Guatemalan."

00:19:23.287 --> 00:19:27.124 align:center
They're supposed to be looking for
violent criminals, right?

00:19:27.207 --> 00:19:29.585 align:center
So what… where…
where are they looking, huh?

00:19:29.668 --> 00:19:32.796 align:center
They're going to restaurants
in the kitchen.

00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:36.842 align:center
'Cause, you know, violent criminals,
they make a great sous-chef.

00:19:38.218 --> 00:19:40.762 align:center
ICE is staking out
at the… at the courthouse,

00:19:40.846 --> 00:19:43.223 align:center
you know, catching people
coming out their hearings.

00:19:43.307 --> 00:19:46.351 align:center
'Cause you know violent criminals,
they show up for them cases. They…

00:19:47.895 --> 00:19:49.521 align:center
That paperwork is in order.

00:19:51.106 --> 00:19:53.984 align:center
They're going out,
hiding out at the… at the Home Depots.

00:19:54.067 --> 00:19:57.821 align:center
That's where they're searching.
Yeah, ICE is in front at the Home Depot.

00:19:57.905 --> 00:20:02.492 align:center
'Cause we all know violent criminals,
they love a good DIY project.

00:20:04.828 --> 00:20:06.330 align:center
Get the hell out of here.

00:20:06.413 --> 00:20:07.915 align:center
Fake-ass ICE agents.

00:20:07.998 --> 00:20:11.335 align:center
They ain't nothing
but pardoned January 6th insurrectionists.

00:20:11.418 --> 00:20:12.836 align:center
That's who they are.

00:20:13.337 --> 00:20:14.713 align:center
Fake-ass agents.

00:20:18.550 --> 00:20:22.304 align:center
Went down to the surplus store
and bought them little tight-ass vests.

00:20:22.387 --> 00:20:25.474 align:center
How… How the fuck
you hopping out a Ford Focus

00:20:25.557 --> 00:20:26.934 align:center
to go capture somebody?

00:20:34.524 --> 00:20:36.818 align:center
But they're supposed to be protecting us.

00:20:36.902 --> 00:20:39.821 align:center
But they're killing Americans
is what they're doing.

00:20:40.322 --> 00:20:41.615 align:center
Killing Americans.

00:20:41.698 --> 00:20:43.825 align:center
Minnesota, Alex Pretti.

00:20:43.909 --> 00:20:46.828 align:center
That man, unarmed,
a… a VA nurse, killed him,

00:20:46.912 --> 00:20:48.622 align:center
executed him right there.

00:20:48.705 --> 00:20:50.499 align:center
Renee Good, a mother.

00:20:50.582 --> 00:20:51.875 align:center
Yeah, in her car.

00:20:51.959 --> 00:20:53.794 align:center
Executed her in her car.

00:20:53.877 --> 00:20:56.129 align:center
And… And then called her
a "fucking bitch" afterwards.

00:20:56.213 --> 00:20:59.216 align:center
That's what the agent called her
right in front of her wife.

00:20:59.299 --> 00:21:00.592 align:center
Yeah. Yeah.

00:21:00.676 --> 00:21:03.262 align:center
So lesbians, you know what we gotta do.

00:21:05.889 --> 00:21:08.517 align:center
We gotta call Subaru and be like, "Hey."

00:21:08.600 --> 00:21:09.893 align:center
Uh…

00:21:15.732 --> 00:21:17.401 align:center
"Let me ask y'all something."

00:21:18.986 --> 00:21:20.904 align:center
"Can you make an armored Outback?"

00:21:28.453 --> 00:21:31.164 align:center
They going off in these streets, man.

00:21:31.248 --> 00:21:34.626 align:center
But we out there, man.
People, we… we… we out there protesting.

00:21:34.710 --> 00:21:36.962 align:center
Okay, when… when I say "we,"
I mean white people.

00:21:37.045 --> 00:21:39.131 align:center
White people are out there protesting.

00:21:39.214 --> 00:21:41.758 align:center
I ain't taking my Black ass out there. No.

00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:44.177 align:center
We ain't doing that.

00:21:44.678 --> 00:21:46.930 align:center
We read Project 2025.

00:21:49.725 --> 00:21:51.268 align:center
We knew what was up.

00:21:51.351 --> 00:21:55.022 align:center
They want us out there
so they can escalate shit. Mm-mm, no.

00:21:55.105 --> 00:21:56.398 align:center
White people, this is on you.

00:21:56.481 --> 00:21:59.526 align:center
This… This is a…
This is a you thing right here.

00:22:00.027 --> 00:22:02.988 align:center
This… We ain't going out there.

00:22:04.197 --> 00:22:07.826 align:center
You know what's funny?
We didn't even have a meeting about it.

00:22:09.536 --> 00:22:13.540 align:center
There… There wasn't
no text chain or nothin'. We…

00:22:13.623 --> 00:22:15.542 align:center
You just felt it, right?

00:22:16.043 --> 00:22:18.420 align:center
I mean, every time
I think about going to protest,

00:22:18.503 --> 00:22:21.423 align:center
it's like I hear from my ancestors.
"Sit your Black ass down."

00:22:21.506 --> 00:22:22.424 align:center
I'm like, "Okay."

00:22:38.648 --> 00:22:40.734 align:center
White folks, if you want us out there,

00:22:40.817 --> 00:22:43.570 align:center
you get… you gotta show us
that you… you really mean this.

00:22:43.653 --> 00:22:44.780 align:center
Like, ten toes down.

00:22:44.863 --> 00:22:48.241 align:center
You gotta, you know…
You… You gotta do some shit like we do.

00:22:48.325 --> 00:22:52.120 align:center
You, you know…
Tear up something that you love. You know?

00:22:55.457 --> 00:22:57.626 align:center
If I see a Wegmans on fire…

00:23:08.804 --> 00:23:10.889 align:center
You firebomb a Supercuts…

00:23:16.061 --> 00:23:20.107 align:center
But until then,
we gonna be… we gonna be right behind you.

00:23:20.190 --> 00:23:23.819 align:center
Okay, not… not physically behind you.
We gonna… We gonna like your posts.

00:23:23.902 --> 00:23:27.406 align:center
We gonna be online.
I'm gonna like all your posts.

00:23:27.906 --> 00:23:29.741 align:center
I might even comment…

00:23:32.327 --> 00:23:35.414 align:center
heart, you know, strong arm, you know.

00:23:37.082 --> 00:23:40.168 align:center
People of my generation,
white folks, y'all… y'all been out there.

00:23:40.252 --> 00:23:43.130 align:center
You've done it before.
You… You've been protesting before.

00:23:43.213 --> 00:23:46.258 align:center
Yeah, but it… but it's the younger people
I worry about.

00:23:46.341 --> 00:23:48.093 align:center
Y'all… Y'all gotta train.

00:23:48.176 --> 00:23:49.970 align:center
Like, you gotta be ready
for that pepper spray.

00:23:50.053 --> 00:23:54.766 align:center
So I want you to just put hot sauce
on everything. Just hot sauce.

00:23:58.437 --> 00:24:00.105 align:center
In the morning when you brush your teeth,

00:24:00.188 --> 00:24:03.483 align:center
just… just shoot yourself in the face
with your Waterpik. Just…

00:24:09.114 --> 00:24:12.242 align:center
Fuck it, walk through a car wash.
Mm-mm, you know.

00:24:43.106 --> 00:24:46.109 align:center
But, you know, I think we're here because…

00:24:46.193 --> 00:24:49.696 align:center
we're in this situation
because the Republicans did a better job

00:24:49.779 --> 00:24:52.782 align:center
connecting with
the working-class people. They did.

00:24:52.866 --> 00:24:54.201 align:center
Yeah, the Dems, oh my God.

00:24:54.284 --> 00:24:55.911 align:center
You was just… just listening to them like,

00:24:55.994 --> 00:25:00.081 align:center
"Oh, I don't understand.
How did we lose the uneducated vote?"

00:25:00.165 --> 00:25:03.668 align:center
Like, well, maybe if you stop
calling them uneducated,

00:25:04.711 --> 00:25:06.004 align:center
that could help.

00:25:07.088 --> 00:25:08.840 align:center
That's why whoever runs next,

00:25:08.924 --> 00:25:11.718 align:center
I want them to… to be able
to connect with everyone.

00:25:11.801 --> 00:25:15.847 align:center
They… They gotta be like
one generation from… from being broke.

00:25:16.806 --> 00:25:19.643 align:center
I want them to know
about being broke, you know?

00:25:19.726 --> 00:25:21.686 align:center
Here's… Here's the prerequisite.

00:25:21.770 --> 00:25:25.941 align:center
If you don't have the Western Union app
on your phone, you can't run.

00:25:29.402 --> 00:25:32.030 align:center
Oh, here's another thing.

00:25:32.113 --> 00:25:35.158 align:center
If you drive a Cybertruck, you're a dick.

00:25:36.868 --> 00:25:38.995 align:center
And we all think you're a dick.

00:25:56.429 --> 00:25:58.306 align:center
It's greed, man. It's greed.

00:25:58.390 --> 00:26:00.976 align:center
These some greedy people, boy. Greed.

00:26:02.018 --> 00:26:03.895 align:center
And… And because of greed,

00:26:04.396 --> 00:26:05.981 align:center
we're all cashiers now.

00:26:07.482 --> 00:26:08.942 align:center
How did that happen?

00:26:09.025 --> 00:26:12.696 align:center
See, they're going through,
and they… they cut out working-class jobs.

00:26:12.779 --> 00:26:14.739 align:center
And they make us do it. Yeah.

00:26:14.823 --> 00:26:18.618 align:center
We're… And how did they…
how did they slow-walk us into that one?

00:26:19.369 --> 00:26:23.248 align:center
I… I remember like maybe 15, 20 years ago,
you… you went to your store,

00:26:23.331 --> 00:26:27.252 align:center
and there was a little kiosk,
a little self-checkout kiosk.

00:26:27.335 --> 00:26:32.173 align:center
And our curious asses were like,
"Ooh, I'mma go play cashier."

00:26:36.428 --> 00:26:40.890 align:center
'Cause a cashier was a real job
with benefits. You in… in there, boop.

00:26:40.974 --> 00:26:45.103 align:center
Like, "Ooh, I did it."
Now you're doing it. That's your job.

00:26:47.606 --> 00:26:49.691 align:center
You can't find real people now.

00:26:49.774 --> 00:26:53.320 align:center
Yeah, it's all self-checkout.
You know what really annoys me?

00:26:53.403 --> 00:26:55.989 align:center
When there's a line at the self-checkout.

00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:01.161 align:center
I'm like, "I am waiting in line
to work here for free."

00:27:02.912 --> 00:27:04.748 align:center
What in the hell is this?

00:27:06.291 --> 00:27:09.085 align:center
Then they got you snitching on yourselves.

00:27:09.586 --> 00:27:11.755 align:center
"How many bags did you use?"

00:27:16.426 --> 00:27:19.471 align:center
"Two." What the fuck?

00:27:20.388 --> 00:27:22.515 align:center
We should be stealing
is what we should do.

00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:25.727 align:center
'Cause they… That's what they doing.
They making you steal.

00:27:25.810 --> 00:27:28.188 align:center
So they got to bring the real people back.

00:27:28.980 --> 00:27:31.316 align:center
And it's not stealing. You work there.

00:27:38.365 --> 00:27:41.409 align:center
You're not taking
some entry-level position.

00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:45.038 align:center
Be the store manager.
I have sales all the time.

00:27:45.121 --> 00:27:46.665 align:center
"Store manager sale."

00:27:47.248 --> 00:27:48.333 align:center
It's a…

00:27:49.167 --> 00:27:50.835 align:center
"Buy one, get one free."

00:27:53.588 --> 00:27:54.673 align:center
Boop.

00:28:10.647 --> 00:28:12.649 align:center
They taking all the jobs, man.

00:28:12.732 --> 00:28:15.276 align:center
All the working-class jobs, right?

00:28:15.360 --> 00:28:17.904 align:center
Like even delivery, uh, services now.

00:28:17.987 --> 00:28:20.740 align:center
Now in LA, we have these little carts.

00:28:21.282 --> 00:28:22.992 align:center
You've seen the… Yeah. The… the little…

00:28:23.076 --> 00:28:24.536 align:center
It's like a little shopping cart.

00:28:24.619 --> 00:28:26.663 align:center
And it's… It's a little robot,
and you order stuff.

00:28:26.746 --> 00:28:29.040 align:center
And they put it in the cart
and they send it to your house.

00:28:29.124 --> 00:28:31.584 align:center
I'm like, "Don't… Don't send
that shit to my house."

00:28:32.085 --> 00:28:33.878 align:center
"I want a real person."

00:28:33.962 --> 00:28:36.548 align:center
You know, I almost killed myself
the first time I saw the cart

00:28:36.631 --> 00:28:40.051 align:center
'cause I didn't know what it was
and it was heading into traffic.

00:28:40.135 --> 00:28:42.929 align:center
And I was like, "Oh Lord,
the baby stroller." Then I'm like…

00:28:52.647 --> 00:28:54.649 align:center
Only time I would use that,

00:28:54.733 --> 00:28:58.486 align:center
if you could, like… Something useful.
Like you could order up an ass-whooping.

00:28:58.570 --> 00:28:59.737 align:center
I'd do that.

00:29:01.990 --> 00:29:05.201 align:center
Wouldn't that be cool?
You could send somebody an ass-whooping.

00:29:07.203 --> 00:29:08.746 align:center
You open it, open your door,

00:29:08.830 --> 00:29:11.624 align:center
motherfucker jump out and just slap
the shit out of you. They'd be like…

00:29:16.463 --> 00:29:18.047 align:center
"Brenda says hi."

00:29:22.051 --> 00:29:23.928 align:center
They climb back in the cart. Mm.

00:29:26.389 --> 00:29:29.476 align:center
Oh, I'd be ordering
ass-whoopings all the time.

00:29:29.559 --> 00:29:33.688 align:center
I'd be there, "Mm, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave."

00:29:42.071 --> 00:29:45.658 align:center
You know what kills me is, like,
when greed is… is masked,

00:29:45.742 --> 00:29:48.453 align:center
uh, as, uh, benevolence, you know?

00:29:48.536 --> 00:29:51.122 align:center
Like, you… you go to a store,
and they ask you that question,

00:29:51.206 --> 00:29:55.001 align:center
"Would you like to round up
and donate to our charity?"

00:29:56.336 --> 00:29:57.587 align:center
The nerve.

00:29:58.671 --> 00:30:02.008 align:center
You want me to give you
more money for cha--?

00:30:02.091 --> 00:30:05.595 align:center
I'll take a note of the charity,
and I'll donate myself.

00:30:05.678 --> 00:30:09.641 align:center
How about that? I'll donate it myself
and get the tax write-off.

00:30:10.350 --> 00:30:13.394 align:center
I mean, 'cause… And if…
And if you want to be so charitable,

00:30:13.478 --> 00:30:17.232 align:center
why… why don't you ask me
if… if I want to round down?

00:30:25.156 --> 00:30:26.324 align:center
Hotels do it.

00:30:26.824 --> 00:30:28.368 align:center
Yeah, hotels do it.

00:30:28.451 --> 00:30:32.705 align:center
"Hey, you know, we're thinking
about the planet. Why don't you reuse?"

00:30:32.789 --> 00:30:34.582 align:center
"Hang that towel back up."

00:30:34.666 --> 00:30:37.001 align:center
You know, "We don't… We don't change
the sheets every night."

00:30:37.085 --> 00:30:40.755 align:center
"You have to request that
'cause we're thinking about the planet."

00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:44.050 align:center
Like, no you're not. You're thinking about
your water bill and employees.

00:30:44.133 --> 00:30:45.843 align:center
That's what you're thinking about.

00:30:47.554 --> 00:30:49.973 align:center
'Cause if you want to encourage
people being green,

00:30:50.056 --> 00:30:51.724 align:center
you will give me a little green discount,

00:30:51.808 --> 00:30:54.978 align:center
a little… a little…
a little something off of my room, right?

00:30:55.061 --> 00:30:57.313 align:center
'Cause I'm green. I'm green at home.

00:30:57.397 --> 00:30:59.524 align:center
At home, I sleep in my same sheets

00:30:59.607 --> 00:31:02.402 align:center
until the fitted sheet flies off the bed,
you know?

00:31:03.695 --> 00:31:08.324 align:center
The fitted sheet just gets so tired
and worn out.

00:31:08.408 --> 00:31:11.035 align:center
It just… Oh, it just…
The rubber just gives away.

00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:13.121 align:center
Just like, "Oh boy, shit."

00:31:13.204 --> 00:31:16.875 align:center
You go get into bed, pull the covers back,
you're like, "Where my fitted sheet at?"

00:31:17.917 --> 00:31:21.588 align:center
"Oh, it's at the foot of the bed.
I'll be damned."

00:31:23.923 --> 00:31:26.509 align:center
I'll use the same towel at home, you know?

00:31:26.593 --> 00:31:31.681 align:center
I'm in there, like, with the towel, like,
"Ow, shit. Did I… Did I break my skin?"

00:31:31.764 --> 00:31:34.976 align:center
Towel feeling like a loofah.
You're like, "Oh boy."

00:31:35.059 --> 00:31:37.020 align:center
"Am I bleeding? What the hell?"

00:31:38.771 --> 00:31:42.984 align:center
But if I'm paying full price
for a hotel room, I'm using all that shit.

00:31:43.067 --> 00:31:45.904 align:center
I'm in there, towel for my right titty.

00:31:45.987 --> 00:31:47.947 align:center
Towel for my left titty.

00:31:48.990 --> 00:31:52.785 align:center
Ass towel, ass towel,
ass towel, ass towel.

00:32:03.630 --> 00:32:06.674 align:center
Then I call downstairs,
"I need some more towels."

00:32:09.510 --> 00:32:11.512 align:center
"My cooch is still a little damp."

00:32:13.973 --> 00:32:15.600 align:center
"And change my bed."

00:32:23.399 --> 00:32:25.401 align:center
I was in a… a hotel in New Orleans,

00:32:25.485 --> 00:32:28.780 align:center
and this, uh… the… the housekeeper came
to change my bed, right?

00:32:28.863 --> 00:32:30.323 align:center
Service my room.

00:32:30.406 --> 00:32:34.035 align:center
So I… I opened the door,
and it was a young girl,

00:32:34.118 --> 00:32:37.789 align:center
but she… she was sweating,
just, like… just profusely, just sweating.

00:32:37.872 --> 00:32:41.542 align:center
And I'm looking at her, and I'm like, "Mm,
I don't think I got a vaccine for this."

00:32:41.626 --> 00:32:43.294 align:center
"I don't know what she got."

00:32:45.588 --> 00:32:47.173 align:center
And I couldn't let her in my room,

00:32:47.256 --> 00:32:49.509 align:center
you know… you… you know,
all that sweat dripping.

00:32:49.592 --> 00:32:52.053 align:center
And I… And I just pictured her
changing my bed,

00:32:52.136 --> 00:32:53.972 align:center
fighting with that pillowcase. You know…

00:32:58.518 --> 00:33:00.103 align:center
You know, just sweat flying.

00:33:02.063 --> 00:33:04.440 align:center
So I had to think fast.
I was like, you know what?

00:33:04.524 --> 00:33:07.735 align:center
I'm gonna grab my… my towels
and my… my… my linen,

00:33:07.819 --> 00:33:09.821 align:center
and I'm… I'mma do it myself, okay?

00:33:09.904 --> 00:33:12.573 align:center
So I went to the car and got my shit,
and as I'm walking back,

00:33:12.657 --> 00:33:16.869 align:center
she's like, "Ms. Sykes, are you sure?"
I was like, "Yeah, girl, I got this."

00:33:16.953 --> 00:33:19.122 align:center
"I was a cashier yesterday."

00:33:26.504 --> 00:33:27.547 align:center
It's greed.

00:33:28.047 --> 00:33:29.382 align:center
You know, like, recording artists,

00:33:29.465 --> 00:33:32.260 align:center
they… they don't make money
selling records anymore.

00:33:32.343 --> 00:33:34.721 align:center
No, uh-uh, that's why they have to tour.

00:33:34.804 --> 00:33:36.889 align:center
Because the… the downloads
and the streams,

00:33:36.973 --> 00:33:39.225 align:center
they get like a fraction of a penny.

00:33:39.308 --> 00:33:42.687 align:center
So that's why we, you know,
got all these great shows out here,

00:33:42.770 --> 00:33:45.356 align:center
because you gotta, you know…
they gotta make their money touring.

00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:49.819 align:center
And, you know, it's… it's good for us,
but then again, not so good.

00:33:50.445 --> 00:33:53.239 align:center
Yeah, I… I can't tell you
how many of my friends

00:33:53.322 --> 00:33:55.616 align:center
went to that New Edition concert

00:33:56.617 --> 00:34:00.121 align:center
and acted a fool
thinking they could still do them steps.

00:34:01.372 --> 00:34:02.290 align:center
They out there.

00:34:12.925 --> 00:34:15.136 align:center
And the next day you see them,
they in a boot.

00:34:15.219 --> 00:34:18.556 align:center
Girl, I tore myself up
at that damn New Edition concert.

00:34:19.390 --> 00:34:24.896 align:center
Oh boy. Oh boy, I thought I had it.
I ain't got it… I ain't got it no more.

00:34:29.567 --> 00:34:32.236 align:center
Whew.

00:34:34.072 --> 00:34:36.824 align:center
I'm doing too much physical shit, shit.

00:34:36.908 --> 00:34:40.369 align:center
The fuck I write
these jokes for, good Lord.

00:34:42.038 --> 00:34:44.707 align:center
It's time we do some sit-down comedy.

00:34:50.630 --> 00:34:55.384 align:center
We in our sixties, man. I don't know
about y'all, but sixties hit different.

00:34:55.468 --> 00:34:59.263 align:center
Like, first of all, where's all this gas
coming from? What the hell?

00:35:00.848 --> 00:35:02.600 align:center
Just gassy for no reason.

00:35:02.683 --> 00:35:05.853 align:center
Just… Gas just come anywhere. Just…

00:35:05.937 --> 00:35:09.857 align:center
And… And… And you gotta focus
on not farting in public. You do.

00:35:09.941 --> 00:35:11.943 align:center
If you… If you let your mind relax…

00:35:16.405 --> 00:35:19.700 align:center
They just fly out, just…

00:35:19.784 --> 00:35:20.868 align:center
Just…

00:35:25.832 --> 00:35:28.751 align:center
I'm like, where's
all this gas coming from?

00:35:29.794 --> 00:35:31.462 align:center
It don't make no sense.

00:35:31.546 --> 00:35:35.883 align:center
Like, one of my friends,
she's a CEO of a big company.

00:35:35.967 --> 00:35:40.138 align:center
She was like, "Girl, I was in a meeting,
and… and I stood up,

00:35:40.221 --> 00:35:42.265 align:center
and… and gas, I passed gas."

00:35:42.765 --> 00:35:44.058 align:center
"Just…"

00:35:44.767 --> 00:35:49.438 align:center
I was like, "Well… Well, what did you do?"
She said, "I said, 'Meeting's adjourned.'"

00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:00.992 align:center
I was like, "I bet it was. Yeah."

00:36:01.075 --> 00:36:03.619 align:center
I said, "Now you gotta end
all your meetings like that."

00:36:03.703 --> 00:36:06.581 align:center
That's… You gotta just stay with it.

00:36:08.958 --> 00:36:10.877 align:center
I'm telling you, boy, you know,
when you younger,

00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:12.753 align:center
you gotta work on that Kegel muscle.

00:36:12.837 --> 00:36:14.881 align:center
You gotta do those Kegel exercises.

00:36:14.964 --> 00:36:17.216 align:center
When you get older, mm, that sphincter,

00:36:17.300 --> 00:36:20.720 align:center
you gotta… mm, mm,
'cause… 'cause they just…

00:36:20.803 --> 00:36:21.929 align:center
…boy.

00:36:23.097 --> 00:36:26.767 align:center
You don't know it until, like, if you…
unless you talking to somebody.

00:36:26.851 --> 00:36:29.187 align:center
And you see it on their face
'cause you're talking,

00:36:29.270 --> 00:36:32.023 align:center
and you're like, "Yeah, girl."
And all of a sudden, they do this.

00:36:34.817 --> 00:36:36.360 align:center
And step back.

00:36:36.444 --> 00:36:39.030 align:center
When they step back, yeah, you passed gas.

00:36:39.113 --> 00:36:41.532 align:center
You did. You… Just own it.

00:36:41.616 --> 00:36:43.910 align:center
Just like, "Yeah, that was…
that was me, yeah."

00:36:46.287 --> 00:36:47.205 align:center
"That was me."

00:36:49.081 --> 00:36:51.709 align:center
"Meeting's adjourned.
Meeting's adjourned." Just…

00:36:57.006 --> 00:36:58.883 align:center
Sleeping is hard now.

00:36:59.592 --> 00:37:03.304 align:center
I don't know why I… I can't fall asleep.
It's hard to fall asleep.

00:37:03.387 --> 00:37:04.472 align:center
I'm… I'm on a group text

00:37:04.555 --> 00:37:09.060 align:center
with… with, uh, like,
four other Hamptonians in… in my class,

00:37:09.143 --> 00:37:13.356 align:center
and, man, it…
…at like, 2:30 in the morning,

00:37:13.439 --> 00:37:15.733 align:center
somebody'll text, um…

00:37:15.816 --> 00:37:18.194 align:center
"Do y'all marinate your lamb chops…

00:37:20.655 --> 00:37:21.739 align:center
…or rub them?"

00:37:22.323 --> 00:37:25.785 align:center
And I'm like, "Oh,
I prefer to do a rub myself."

00:37:27.870 --> 00:37:29.538 align:center
It's 2:30 in the morning!

00:37:35.127 --> 00:37:37.755 align:center
And when I wanna stay awake,
I fall asleep.

00:37:38.756 --> 00:37:40.258 align:center
Every time I go to the movies,

00:37:40.341 --> 00:37:43.552 align:center
I sit there,
and I'm like, "Well, here's a $42 nap."

00:37:47.556 --> 00:37:48.391 align:center
Out.

00:37:50.518 --> 00:37:53.896 align:center
Everybody's like,
"Ooh, I saw Sinners three times

00:37:53.980 --> 00:37:57.066 align:center
just so I could understand
all the symbolism."

00:37:57.149 --> 00:38:01.237 align:center
I was like, "I saw it four times
just so I could see it." It took me…

00:38:04.365 --> 00:38:06.242 align:center
I'm in there… …out.

00:38:06.325 --> 00:38:08.452 align:center
I was at home watching something,

00:38:08.536 --> 00:38:11.038 align:center
and… and I was trying to stay awake,
but I couldn't.

00:38:11.122 --> 00:38:13.958 align:center
I kept falling asleep,
so I changed chairs.

00:38:14.041 --> 00:38:16.419 align:center
I said, "You know, I'm gonna get
this dining room chair."

00:38:17.169 --> 00:38:19.171 align:center
"I ain't gonna fall asleep in this."

00:38:19.255 --> 00:38:20.464 align:center
Five minutes in…

00:38:23.050 --> 00:38:27.054 align:center
And… And the way my head fell
in that straight-backed chair,

00:38:27.138 --> 00:38:30.641 align:center
I… I cut my air off, so I was like…

00:38:32.310 --> 00:38:34.729 align:center
And my brain was like, "Wake up, wake up!"

00:38:35.813 --> 00:38:38.065 align:center
"We can't breathe.
Wake up. You're killing us."

00:38:38.149 --> 00:38:42.778 align:center
And I was like, "I can't.
I'm in such a deep sleep, I can't."

00:38:42.862 --> 00:38:45.448 align:center
I had to throw myself off the chair.

00:38:59.045 --> 00:39:01.088 align:center
I almost killed myself.

00:39:08.929 --> 00:39:12.516 align:center
Trying to eat better, you know,
trying to do that, you know.

00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:14.894 align:center
But, uh, Esther's… Esther's not having it.

00:39:14.977 --> 00:39:17.563 align:center
Uh, for… for… for those of you
who don't know,

00:39:17.646 --> 00:39:21.192 align:center
this… this fat roll here
popped up when I was 40,

00:39:21.275 --> 00:39:23.736 align:center
and she's staying around. She's…

00:39:24.945 --> 00:39:27.531 align:center
Esther is not going anywhere.

00:39:27.615 --> 00:39:30.076 align:center
Esther loves bread,
alcohol, and cheesecake.

00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:31.744 align:center
That's her favorite.

00:39:31.827 --> 00:39:34.205 align:center
Mm, give me some cheesecake.

00:39:36.832 --> 00:39:39.710 align:center
Esther's… Esther's been
a little down lately, though.

00:39:39.794 --> 00:39:41.796 align:center
She's been a little depressed, you know.

00:39:41.879 --> 00:39:43.631 align:center
'Cause yeah, she… Every time that…

00:39:43.714 --> 00:39:46.550 align:center
Every time that…
that Ozempic commercial comes on,

00:39:47.259 --> 00:39:49.220 align:center
she… I hear her…

00:39:52.264 --> 00:39:54.433 align:center
I'm like, "Esther, what's wrong with you?"
She goes…

00:39:54.517 --> 00:39:57.186 align:center
"All my friends are gone."

00:40:03.943 --> 00:40:07.613 align:center
No, I'm the only one in my family
who uses a washcloth.

00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:11.033 align:center
Now…

00:40:15.329 --> 00:40:17.790 align:center
I don't know if it's a French thing

00:40:18.290 --> 00:40:21.502 align:center
or a white thing or just a nasty thing.

00:40:21.585 --> 00:40:23.170 align:center
I don't know what it is.

00:40:26.340 --> 00:40:28.717 align:center
I remember the first time
Alex came to visit me,

00:40:28.801 --> 00:40:31.637 align:center
you know, I put the… the… the towels out.

00:40:31.720 --> 00:40:34.348 align:center
Bath towel, hand towel, washcloth.

00:40:34.432 --> 00:40:35.724 align:center
It's a set.

00:40:38.727 --> 00:40:42.857 align:center
And after a couple of days,
I… I noticed the washcloth was fresh.

00:40:42.940 --> 00:40:44.942 align:center
So I was like, "Hey, Alex, babe,

00:40:45.025 --> 00:40:48.571 align:center
did you… you see
I got a washcloth here for you?"

00:40:48.654 --> 00:40:51.115 align:center
And she was like…
"Oh, non, merci."

00:40:52.992 --> 00:40:55.369 align:center
"You know, we… we don't use those things."

00:40:55.453 --> 00:40:56.829 align:center
"We, uh… I don't know."

00:40:56.912 --> 00:41:00.499 align:center
"We just… It's… It's just not
the thing we do. Non, merci."

00:41:00.583 --> 00:41:02.251 align:center
I'm like, "Well, what… what do you do?"

00:41:02.334 --> 00:41:05.880 align:center
She's like, "Oh, you know,
just, uh, put a little savon."

00:41:05.963 --> 00:41:09.425 align:center
"Uh, you know, dans ta main, comme ça.
You just, you know…"

00:41:09.508 --> 00:41:10.885 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:41:11.552 --> 00:41:12.970 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:41:13.554 --> 00:41:14.889 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:41:15.598 --> 00:41:17.391 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:41:17.475 --> 00:41:18.684 align:center
"Et voilà."

00:41:22.605 --> 00:41:27.401 align:center
I'm like, "All right, well, you know,
it works. So, okay, all right, cool."

00:41:27.484 --> 00:41:30.488 align:center
So then it was my turn
to go meet her family, right?

00:41:30.571 --> 00:41:34.116 align:center
So we… we fly to Paris,
and we're staying at her… at her mom's.

00:41:34.200 --> 00:41:35.576 align:center
So I get there, long flight.

00:41:35.659 --> 00:41:38.412 align:center
I say, "Hey, babe, I want to jump
in the shower, you know, freshen up."

00:41:38.496 --> 00:41:42.416 align:center
"Can I get a washcloth, please?"
And she's like, "Mon cœur, non."

00:41:42.958 --> 00:41:45.044 align:center
"I told you, no. We… We don't, uh…"

00:41:45.127 --> 00:41:47.129 align:center
"We don't have those."

00:41:48.088 --> 00:41:51.050 align:center
"We… We don't, uh, use those things, no."

00:41:51.133 --> 00:41:53.177 align:center
I'm like, "You sure?
Did you ask your mother?"

00:41:53.260 --> 00:41:55.012 align:center
"I told…"

00:41:56.305 --> 00:41:57.348 align:center
"Maman,

00:41:58.682 --> 00:42:03.520 align:center
uh, est-ce que tu as une petite serviette
comme ça pour Wanda?"

00:42:03.604 --> 00:42:07.024 align:center
"Non? Non, non, non, non. Non."

00:42:10.277 --> 00:42:12.196 align:center
"Elle dit non, je dis non, non."

00:42:12.279 --> 00:42:13.531 align:center
"Mon cœur, just…"

00:42:14.031 --> 00:42:15.366 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:42:15.449 --> 00:42:16.742 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:42:16.825 --> 00:42:17.868 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:42:18.410 --> 00:42:19.286 align:center
"Doo-doo-doo."

00:42:20.037 --> 00:42:20.996 align:center
"Allez."

00:42:25.918 --> 00:42:28.337 align:center
I'm like… Get in the shower,
I'm like, "This is some bullshit."

00:42:28.420 --> 00:42:29.922 align:center
"This is what this is."

00:42:36.345 --> 00:42:38.389 align:center
I get in the shower, and I'm like…

00:42:39.848 --> 00:42:41.267 align:center
Doo-doo-doo…

00:42:44.770 --> 00:42:45.896 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:42:48.274 --> 00:42:49.567 align:center
Doo-doo-doo…

00:43:10.087 --> 00:43:12.172 align:center
Maybe I should wash that again.

00:43:13.924 --> 00:43:15.301 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:43:15.926 --> 00:43:17.386 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:43:17.469 --> 00:43:18.887 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:43:19.388 --> 00:43:20.848 align:center
Doo-doo-doo…

00:43:21.348 --> 00:43:22.975 align:center
Let me really get in there.

00:43:23.058 --> 00:43:24.268 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:43:24.351 --> 00:43:26.812 align:center
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo.

00:43:26.895 --> 00:43:28.022 align:center
Doo-doo-doo.

00:43:28.105 --> 00:43:31.525 align:center
Doo-doo-doo-ooh!

00:43:44.872 --> 00:43:45.956 align:center
Voilà.

00:43:54.590 --> 00:43:57.092 align:center
I'm throwing away all my washcloths.

00:44:01.597 --> 00:44:05.934 align:center
But you know what I noticed is
that, um, my skin didn't get dry.

00:44:06.018 --> 00:44:07.895 align:center
You know,
it was like I… I… I didn't need lotion.

00:44:07.978 --> 00:44:09.647 align:center
I guess when you use a washcloth,

00:44:09.730 --> 00:44:12.441 align:center
you're wiping off
all your natural oils, right?

00:44:12.524 --> 00:44:14.735 align:center
So I'm like, okay, this… this… this works.

00:44:14.818 --> 00:44:16.487 align:center
So I was over there for a couple of weeks,

00:44:16.570 --> 00:44:19.281 align:center
and then… then I get back here,
and I get home.

00:44:19.365 --> 00:44:21.659 align:center
And I jump in the shower,
and I grab my washcloth.

00:44:21.742 --> 00:44:25.454 align:center
And I'm in there,
washcloth, you know. All… All of that.

00:44:25.954 --> 00:44:27.706 align:center
I looked at that washcloth.

00:44:35.506 --> 00:44:38.008 align:center
It looked like I had Armor All'd my tires.

00:44:38.092 --> 00:44:42.638 align:center
I was like, "You's a dirty ho."

00:44:49.728 --> 00:44:51.980 align:center
Right.

00:44:52.731 --> 00:44:57.069 align:center
I knew Alex was ready
to take our relationship to the next level

00:44:57.152 --> 00:45:00.155 align:center
because, uh,
she wanted to get a dog, right?

00:45:00.239 --> 00:45:04.410 align:center
But she wanted to make sure
that her dog would get along with my dog

00:45:04.493 --> 00:45:06.120 align:center
because my dog, Riley, man,

00:45:06.203 --> 00:45:08.831 align:center
I had him for almost 18 years,
a border terrier.

00:45:08.914 --> 00:45:12.668 align:center
He was the best dog, my God, man.
I would… I would take him everywhere.

00:45:12.751 --> 00:45:13.836 align:center
You know, I even went online

00:45:13.919 --> 00:45:16.714 align:center
and got him one of those
bullshit service animal vests…

00:45:21.427 --> 00:45:25.264 align:center
…so he could, you know, be outside his bag
and fly everywhere. But you know what?

00:45:25.347 --> 00:45:26.849 align:center
I would put that vest on him,

00:45:26.932 --> 00:45:29.309 align:center
and that fool would,
like, act right. He'd like…

00:45:37.484 --> 00:45:39.194 align:center
'Cause you seen animals at the airport.

00:45:39.278 --> 00:45:42.030 align:center
You know damn well
they ain't no service animal.

00:45:42.531 --> 00:45:45.826 align:center
Service animals don't take a dump
in the middle of terminal two.

00:45:53.375 --> 00:45:57.296 align:center
So I take my guy, Riley,
to meet this little dog she was getting.

00:45:57.379 --> 00:46:02.134 align:center
So we get there, and they… they bring out
this little Chihuahua puppy.

00:46:02.217 --> 00:46:04.803 align:center
He had big-ass ears.
He was about this big.

00:46:04.887 --> 00:46:08.432 align:center
And Riley looked at that dog,
he was like, "Is that a dog?"

00:46:09.767 --> 00:46:11.435 align:center
I was like, "Yeah, man."

00:46:11.518 --> 00:46:15.647 align:center
And this Chihuahua, he knew he wanted
to get out of there and go home with Alex

00:46:15.731 --> 00:46:19.193 align:center
because he bent down
and picked up Riley's leash

00:46:19.276 --> 00:46:21.111 align:center
and started walking Riley around.

00:46:22.321 --> 00:46:25.282 align:center
Yeah, we were all like, "Aww."

00:46:25.365 --> 00:46:28.952 align:center
Riley was like, "Really?"

00:46:29.995 --> 00:46:31.830 align:center
"Is this what we doing?"

00:46:32.956 --> 00:46:35.209 align:center
"You gonna make me
this little rat's bitch?"

00:46:35.292 --> 00:46:36.752 align:center
"Is that what we doing?"

00:46:39.046 --> 00:46:40.756 align:center
"Is the pussy that good?"

00:46:47.638 --> 00:46:51.058 align:center
I was like, "You gonna have
to take one for the team, man."

00:46:51.558 --> 00:46:53.018 align:center
"It's hand-washed."

00:47:03.278 --> 00:47:04.321 align:center
Delicate.

00:47:06.865 --> 00:47:08.784 align:center
So we got the dogs,

00:47:08.867 --> 00:47:11.662 align:center
and… and it was time
for the kids, you know?

00:47:11.745 --> 00:47:16.291 align:center
So we talked about, you know,
parenting and… and all of that,

00:47:16.375 --> 00:47:18.460 align:center
you know, before the…
before we had the kids,

00:47:18.544 --> 00:47:20.170 align:center
and big thing that came up, Alex was like…

00:47:20.254 --> 00:47:22.297 align:center
…"Babe, so look, um…"

00:47:24.216 --> 00:47:26.927 align:center
"I… I don't want to spank the kids, okay?"

00:47:27.010 --> 00:47:29.471 align:center
"'Cause, you know,
I… I don't think we should spank."

00:47:29.555 --> 00:47:32.140 align:center
"It's just not good. So I hope you agree."

00:47:32.224 --> 00:47:34.935 align:center
"'Cause, you know,
I know of your Black-ground."

00:47:35.018 --> 00:47:36.979 align:center
I was like, "Excuse me, my what? My…"

00:47:39.064 --> 00:47:39.898 align:center
"What?"

00:47:42.651 --> 00:47:45.112 align:center
"What the fuck you say? My Black-ground?"

00:47:45.195 --> 00:47:47.739 align:center
I was like, "Not a word. Uh-uh, no."

00:47:47.823 --> 00:47:49.908 align:center
"I… I… I get
what you're trying to say though."

00:47:49.992 --> 00:47:52.452 align:center
"Like culturally, African-Americans,

00:47:52.536 --> 00:47:54.079 align:center
yeah, we… we… we spank the kids,

00:47:54.162 --> 00:47:57.374 align:center
but mm-mm, we not gonna coin that
Black-ground. Mm-mm."

00:48:03.714 --> 00:48:07.384 align:center
So we said we weren't gonna spank.
And I… I agree with her. I'm like, "Okay."

00:48:07.467 --> 00:48:09.595 align:center
And then Lucas turned three.

00:48:10.596 --> 00:48:12.347 align:center
That boy lost his mind.

00:48:12.431 --> 00:48:15.684 align:center
Everything was like, "No, no, no. No."

00:48:15.767 --> 00:48:19.521 align:center
He was like acting up at pre-K,
and he bit his sister.

00:48:19.605 --> 00:48:23.358 align:center
And one day just I had enough, you know?
I was like, "Lucas, stop. Stop."

00:48:23.442 --> 00:48:25.152 align:center
He's like, "No, no, no."

00:48:25.235 --> 00:48:28.280 align:center
So I grabbed his little ass. I was like…

00:48:28.363 --> 00:48:31.033 align:center
You know, I had to do it
on a couple of occasions too.

00:48:31.116 --> 00:48:33.911 align:center
Yeah, I was like, shit,
I'd rather spank you at three

00:48:33.994 --> 00:48:36.622 align:center
than thrust kick you in your neck at 16.

00:48:41.043 --> 00:48:44.630 align:center
I don't wanna be here
"I am Sparta" on your ass.

00:48:47.382 --> 00:48:50.844 align:center
Olivia, never had to spank her.
Never had to spank her. Yeah.

00:48:50.928 --> 00:48:54.389 align:center
Now, I… I don't condone spanking, I don't.

00:48:54.473 --> 00:48:58.852 align:center
But I will say this,
today, Lucas is the better kid.

00:49:02.064 --> 00:49:03.315 align:center
That boy listens.

00:49:05.025 --> 00:49:09.112 align:center
And that's the thing as parents is that
you gotta let them be, you know, right?

00:49:09.196 --> 00:49:11.823 align:center
Yeah, you gotta let them be.
And each kid, they're individuals.

00:49:11.907 --> 00:49:15.327 align:center
You gotta figure out what works for them.
It's not a one-size-fits-all.

00:49:15.410 --> 00:49:19.039 align:center
You know, and you don't… you don't wanna…
You don't wanna crush their joy.

00:49:19.122 --> 00:49:21.041 align:center
And I… I had a hard time with that.

00:49:21.124 --> 00:49:25.420 align:center
Because, uh…
…like, Lucas, he was outside, um,

00:49:25.504 --> 00:49:29.466 align:center
getting rid of the… the… the packaging
that the dog food comes in.

00:49:29.549 --> 00:49:31.969 align:center
That… That was… That was his thing.
He liked doing that.

00:49:32.052 --> 00:49:36.640 align:center
Because the packaging, it would, um…
You put water on it, and it dissolves.

00:49:36.723 --> 00:49:39.601 align:center
So he loved taking care of that.
So one day he was out there,

00:49:39.685 --> 00:49:42.521 align:center
and he threw the stuff in the garden.
He was watering it.

00:49:42.604 --> 00:49:46.274 align:center
And he goes,
"Oh boy, this is so satisfying."

00:49:48.026 --> 00:49:50.612 align:center
Exactly, I wanted to laugh,
and… and I wanted to tell him,

00:49:50.696 --> 00:49:53.657 align:center
"Hey, man, don't say that out loud.
You sound weird."

00:49:57.577 --> 00:50:01.123 align:center
"People gonna… People gonna laugh at you.
You don't… Don't… You can't say that."

00:50:01.206 --> 00:50:03.792 align:center
But I told myself, Wanda, let the boy be.

00:50:03.875 --> 00:50:06.837 align:center
Just leave him alone.
That's his thing, leave him alone.

00:50:06.920 --> 00:50:08.505 align:center
But it made me laugh though,

00:50:08.588 --> 00:50:11.925 align:center
because I pictured myself saying that
in front of my mother.

00:50:12.009 --> 00:50:13.760 align:center
You know, if I was a kid
out there doing that,

00:50:13.844 --> 00:50:17.013 align:center
and been like,
"Oh boy, this is so satisfying,"

00:50:17.514 --> 00:50:21.059 align:center
my mother would've made sure
that I never got to do that again.

00:50:23.437 --> 00:50:26.815 align:center
She would've been, "You give me this
and you get your butt in the house,

00:50:26.898 --> 00:50:28.483 align:center
Miss Satisfied."

00:50:29.985 --> 00:50:32.612 align:center
"It ain't supposed to be satisfying."

00:50:32.696 --> 00:50:37.159 align:center
"Wait till I tell your father,
you out here being satisfied."

00:50:39.286 --> 00:50:43.540 align:center
That've been my new nickname.
Hey, y'all, here come Miss Satisfied.

00:50:51.965 --> 00:50:56.428 align:center
Olivia's thing, she… she would go
in and out of a British accent.

00:50:57.345 --> 00:50:58.638 align:center
Yeah, that was her thing.

00:50:58.722 --> 00:51:01.516 align:center
And… and it was jarring
because you didn't know when it was…

00:51:01.600 --> 00:51:03.435 align:center
when it was coming, you know?

00:51:03.518 --> 00:51:06.396 align:center
Like, and she… I'd say,
"Oh, hey, Olivia, how was school?"

00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:07.481 align:center
"Oh, it was pretty good."

00:51:07.564 --> 00:51:09.858 align:center
"All right, cool.
You got a lot of homework?"

00:51:09.941 --> 00:51:11.401 align:center
"No, not too much, but I do have…

00:51:11.485 --> 00:51:13.612 align:center
…a bit of mathematics."

00:51:18.950 --> 00:51:21.286 align:center
What the hell is wrong with her?

00:51:21.870 --> 00:51:24.080 align:center
She would do it so often
that I googled it.

00:51:24.164 --> 00:51:27.375 align:center
I was like,
"American white kids, British accent."

00:51:29.211 --> 00:51:30.629 align:center
I got some results.

00:51:31.338 --> 00:51:33.715 align:center
It said maybe 'cause
they watched Peppa Pig.

00:51:33.799 --> 00:51:35.884 align:center
And I was like, "Nope.
They watched it in French,

00:51:35.967 --> 00:51:36.802 align:center
so that ain't it."

00:51:36.885 --> 00:51:39.387 align:center
And the next one
I thought was really interesting.

00:51:39.471 --> 00:51:43.058 align:center
They say
it's actually a… a soothing technique.

00:51:43.141 --> 00:51:44.726 align:center
Yeah, it's… it's a stress reliever

00:51:44.810 --> 00:51:47.979 align:center
for American kids
to speak in a British accent.

00:51:48.063 --> 00:51:49.898 align:center
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, "Well, that makes sense

00:51:49.981 --> 00:51:52.776 align:center
because the Brits got
healthcare and gun control."

00:51:59.491 --> 00:52:03.578 align:center
Yeah, our kids over here
doing active shooter drills.

00:52:03.662 --> 00:52:05.831 align:center
What the hell, you know?

00:52:05.914 --> 00:52:10.585 align:center
Yeah, and to all the educators out there
and future educators, God bless y'all.

00:52:10.669 --> 00:52:12.170 align:center
I love you and thank you.

00:52:12.254 --> 00:52:14.464 align:center
God bless you and what you're doing.

00:52:15.549 --> 00:52:17.217 align:center
Because it… it's wrong. It's wrong.

00:52:17.300 --> 00:52:20.262 align:center
We shouldn't be putting our kids
and our teachers through this shit.

00:52:20.345 --> 00:52:23.140 align:center
We should… Right?
It… And it's traumatizing.

00:52:23.223 --> 00:52:27.018 align:center
Lucas came home one day,
and he's like, "So we had a drill today."

00:52:27.102 --> 00:52:29.813 align:center
I was like, "Yeah, man,
I know, I got the text."

00:52:29.896 --> 00:52:32.732 align:center
He's like,
"So now they're telling us, like, um,

00:52:32.816 --> 00:52:35.443 align:center
to… to… to just lay down and play dead."

00:52:36.444 --> 00:52:38.822 align:center
He's like, "Yeah, so, what,
the shooter comes in,

00:52:38.905 --> 00:52:41.700 align:center
hasn't fired one bullet,
but we're all dead?"

00:52:45.537 --> 00:52:48.915 align:center
And he was making this face like,
"What the fuck, Mom?" Like…

00:52:54.796 --> 00:52:57.048 align:center
And it broke my heart.

00:52:57.132 --> 00:52:59.050 align:center
I was like, "Lucas,
I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

00:52:59.134 --> 00:53:00.886 align:center
"You…You shouldn't
have to go through this."

00:53:00.969 --> 00:53:04.347 align:center
"You… You know what?
Some dog food came today, here."

00:53:07.434 --> 00:53:10.395 align:center
"You go ahead out there
and satisfy yourself."

00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:17.360 align:center
"Where… Where's your sister?
Is Olivia home?"

00:53:17.444 --> 00:53:19.279 align:center
"Hey, Olivia, honey, would you like…

00:53:19.362 --> 00:53:21.239 align:center
…a spot of tea?"

00:53:32.459 --> 00:53:35.503 align:center
You wanna protect your kids, man, you do.

00:53:35.587 --> 00:53:38.798 align:center
I… You know, I… I think about,
you know, uh, like,

00:53:38.882 --> 00:53:41.927 align:center
uh, you know, Olivia, you know,
and… and… and I worry about her

00:53:42.010 --> 00:53:46.932 align:center
because how women's healthcare
is just under attack, right?

00:53:47.015 --> 00:53:49.643 align:center
I mean, all these bans…
these abortion bans out here,

00:53:49.726 --> 00:53:51.519 align:center
all you're doing is killing women.

00:53:51.603 --> 00:53:53.939 align:center
It's about controlling women.
That's what it is.

00:53:54.022 --> 00:53:57.400 align:center
They are just…
It is about controlling our bodies.

00:53:57.484 --> 00:53:59.069 align:center
That's what they want.

00:53:59.152 --> 00:54:02.822 align:center
If they were really concerned about
unwanted pregnancies,

00:54:02.906 --> 00:54:05.450 align:center
then they should be able to pass some laws

00:54:05.533 --> 00:54:07.827 align:center
where they could actively participate in…

00:54:07.911 --> 00:54:11.665 align:center
participate in curbing the issue, right,
curbing the problem.

00:54:11.748 --> 00:54:16.461 align:center
Like, why don't they pass a law
like, um, when a boy goes through puberty,

00:54:16.544 --> 00:54:19.214 align:center
he has to have a vasectomy, right?

00:54:21.299 --> 00:54:24.678 align:center
Fellas, just to show some accountability,

00:54:24.761 --> 00:54:28.515 align:center
I think all guys… y'all should get
your penis chipped and registered.

00:54:31.184 --> 00:54:33.770 align:center
So we can keep an eye on these dicks.

00:54:35.522 --> 00:54:37.899 align:center
I even want an app, Find My Dick.

00:54:55.166 --> 00:54:58.712 align:center
Guys, some of y'all are
just too fertile… too fertile, yeah.

00:54:58.795 --> 00:55:02.173 align:center
So I think we should
take you down to… to one ball. One ball.

00:55:02.257 --> 00:55:05.260 align:center
You don't need both of them.
Two balls, that's overkill.

00:55:05.343 --> 00:55:06.970 align:center
So we're gonna take one ball,

00:55:07.053 --> 00:55:10.557 align:center
and to keep your balance,
we'll replace it with a squeaky toy.

00:55:16.146 --> 00:55:17.731 align:center
That'd be fun.

00:55:22.360 --> 00:55:25.488 align:center
Oh, your dog will be so excited
when you come home.

00:55:33.246 --> 00:55:34.122 align:center
Lord.

00:55:36.583 --> 00:55:39.502 align:center
So Alex and I,
we've been together almost 20 years.

00:55:39.586 --> 00:55:41.463 align:center
Yeah, we've been together almost 20 years.

00:55:43.131 --> 00:55:45.800 align:center
Like all relationships,
there's… there's some ups and downs,

00:55:45.884 --> 00:55:50.513 align:center
and… but I… I don't really think
she was aware of the down, you know?

00:55:50.597 --> 00:55:53.516 align:center
'Cause it was…
it was my issue. It was my issue.

00:55:53.600 --> 00:55:54.684 align:center
I was having this problem

00:55:54.768 --> 00:55:57.812 align:center
'cause I thought she was trying
to put gender roles on us.

00:55:57.896 --> 00:56:01.858 align:center
You know, like… like, making me feel
like the… the man or something.

00:56:01.941 --> 00:56:04.027 align:center
This is what she was doing.

00:56:04.110 --> 00:56:06.613 align:center
She would say stuff like…
…"Um, you know, babe,

00:56:06.696 --> 00:56:09.115 align:center
you… you haven't given me a kiss today."

00:56:09.824 --> 00:56:11.701 align:center
"No bisou pour moi?"

00:56:11.785 --> 00:56:14.079 align:center
And… And I was like,
"Oh, yeah, baby, sure."

00:56:14.162 --> 00:56:17.290 align:center
And then I thought about it,
I'm like, wait a minute. You got lips.

00:56:21.878 --> 00:56:25.799 align:center
The hell I gotta initiate? If you want
a kiss, just kiss. I'll kiss you back.

00:56:25.882 --> 00:56:27.801 align:center
Or she'll go… …"Babe, um,

00:56:27.884 --> 00:56:30.428 align:center
you haven't told me you love me today."

00:56:30.512 --> 00:56:32.388 align:center
"Non je t'aime mon cœur, non?"

00:56:32.472 --> 00:56:36.976 align:center
I'm like, well, if you need to hear it,
I mean, you know I love you, just say it.

00:56:37.060 --> 00:56:38.895 align:center
I'll say it back, you know?

00:56:38.978 --> 00:56:41.731 align:center
Or… Or I'm at work, you know,
and I'm filming all day.

00:56:41.815 --> 00:56:44.150 align:center
And yeah, it's… it's…
it's been a long day, right?

00:56:44.234 --> 00:56:46.152 align:center
And I haven't checked in or anything,

00:56:46.236 --> 00:56:49.030 align:center
and I'll… I'll just get
a text message from her.

00:56:49.114 --> 00:56:50.907 align:center
And it's just a row of question marks.

00:56:52.283 --> 00:56:55.412 align:center
Ooh, that irked me.
I'm like, what the hell is this?

00:56:55.495 --> 00:56:57.122 align:center
What… What… What is this?

00:56:57.205 --> 00:56:59.582 align:center
So I would just send her back this emoji.

00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:08.341 align:center
And it was really bugging me.

00:57:08.424 --> 00:57:11.469 align:center
Like, what is… What the hell, man?
I didn't sign up for this shit.

00:57:11.553 --> 00:57:14.305 align:center
What… Why does she need me to do this,
need me to do that?

00:57:14.389 --> 00:57:17.016 align:center
And then it hit me,
it was like, oh. Oh, okay.

00:57:17.767 --> 00:57:19.144 align:center
I'm in a relationship.

00:57:20.645 --> 00:57:21.646 align:center
I get it.

00:57:21.729 --> 00:57:23.648 align:center
Yeah, I'm in a relationship.

00:57:23.731 --> 00:57:27.402 align:center
And in order for a relationship
to function,

00:57:28.153 --> 00:57:30.738 align:center
one of you has to be needy.

00:57:36.411 --> 00:57:39.998 align:center
Yeah. And if you're not laughing,
you're the needy one.

00:57:41.708 --> 00:57:42.625 align:center
You hear that?

00:57:47.005 --> 00:57:49.340 align:center
You're welcome, non-needy people.

00:57:51.801 --> 00:57:53.845 align:center
But it's good, needy people. We need you.

00:57:53.928 --> 00:57:57.724 align:center
We need you to be needy
so we can participate in a relationship.

00:57:57.807 --> 00:57:59.601 align:center
Now, I know what I need to do.

00:57:59.684 --> 00:58:03.188 align:center
So yeah, I… I, you know…
Oh yes, I check in with her.

00:58:03.271 --> 00:58:04.731 align:center
I tell her I love her.

00:58:04.814 --> 00:58:06.482 align:center
'Cause… Yeah,
'cause that's what she needs.

00:58:06.566 --> 00:58:08.610 align:center
And it's… it's fine
because that's… you know,

00:58:08.693 --> 00:58:10.361 align:center
that's what makes a relationship.

00:58:10.445 --> 00:58:14.032 align:center
Like, I couldn't be in a relationship
with another me.

00:58:15.074 --> 00:58:18.077 align:center
It would be like
not being in a relationship.

00:58:20.580 --> 00:58:24.209 align:center
I'm not checking in with me.
I don't give a fuck where I am.

00:58:29.380 --> 00:58:33.426 align:center
I don't need to talk to me all the time.
That would get on my nerves.

00:58:33.509 --> 00:58:37.597 align:center
I'd be like, "Hey, look, let's just go,
no news is good news, all right?"

00:58:42.352 --> 00:58:45.271 align:center
But now that I know,
you know, what she needs,

00:58:45.355 --> 00:58:47.273 align:center
it's like, okay, cool, I get it.

00:58:47.357 --> 00:58:50.443 align:center
You know, I check in.
I even share my location with her.

00:58:50.527 --> 00:58:53.738 align:center
Okay, that was by accident.
I'mma be honest with you.

00:58:53.821 --> 00:58:55.615 align:center
That was not intentional.

00:58:55.698 --> 00:58:57.909 align:center
I was putting the phones up,
you know, for the kids,

00:58:57.992 --> 00:58:59.077 align:center
and I did the family thing.

00:58:59.160 --> 00:59:01.579 align:center
I was like, uh-oh, but…
And now I… I can't turn it off.

00:59:01.663 --> 00:59:03.122 align:center
It'll look suspicious.

00:59:04.791 --> 00:59:07.710 align:center
Although I don't care… I don't care
if she knows my whereabouts.

00:59:07.794 --> 00:59:10.338 align:center
I don't. It's not like I'm doing anything.

00:59:10.421 --> 00:59:11.464 align:center
I don't cheat.

00:59:11.548 --> 00:59:13.341 align:center
No, 'cause one, I'm too lazy to cheat.

00:59:14.467 --> 00:59:17.136 align:center
Yeah, I'm… I'm not trying
to learn another birthday.

00:59:18.846 --> 00:59:21.266 align:center
Pretend to listen to another conversation.

00:59:21.349 --> 00:59:23.309 align:center
"Oh, really? Mm."

00:59:32.652 --> 00:59:36.239 align:center
Only time it's in my mind
about her, uh, knowing my whereabouts

00:59:36.322 --> 00:59:38.491 align:center
is when I'm at a casino.

00:59:38.575 --> 00:59:40.910 align:center
'Cause she hates when I'm in a casino.

00:59:40.994 --> 00:59:43.830 align:center
She's like… …"Babe,
I don't like for you to, you know…"

00:59:43.913 --> 00:59:48.209 align:center
"…be in the casino.
It's just not healthy for you."

00:59:48.293 --> 00:59:50.336 align:center
"You know, you… you don't go to sleep."

00:59:50.420 --> 00:59:54.299 align:center
"You stay up all night,
and, you know, you… you drink too much."

00:59:54.382 --> 00:59:57.302 align:center
"It's just not good for you, you know?"

00:59:57.385 --> 01:00:00.888 align:center
Oh, by the way, Alex doesn't smoke.
This is just how I see her. This is just…

01:00:18.531 --> 01:00:21.993 align:center
But she's right. She's right.
I'm horrible in a casino.

01:00:22.076 --> 01:00:25.038 align:center
Oh man, I light up
when I go into a casino, man.

01:00:25.121 --> 01:00:28.374 align:center
I… I… I'm like them kids
in that movie Weapons in a casino.

01:00:28.458 --> 01:00:29.459 align:center
I just see it. I'm just…

01:00:34.839 --> 01:00:37.842 align:center
I love a casino, man.

01:00:37.925 --> 01:00:39.594 align:center
I like casinos so much

01:00:39.677 --> 01:00:44.098 align:center
that, um, I volunteered
to take my friend to the airport

01:00:44.182 --> 01:00:46.351 align:center
because there was a casino
like ten minutes away.

01:00:47.644 --> 01:00:49.979 align:center
Yeah, I'm like,
"Oh yeah, I got you girl. I got you"

01:00:50.063 --> 01:00:51.189 align:center
So I dropped my friend off.

01:00:51.272 --> 01:00:54.150 align:center
I was like, mm,
let me stop off at the casino.

01:00:54.233 --> 01:00:57.820 align:center
A couple of hours, in the middle
of the… of the day, no harm, no foul.

01:00:57.904 --> 01:01:02.283 align:center
So I pull up, and, uh…
and I get my phone out of the cup holder.

01:01:02.367 --> 01:01:05.244 align:center
And then I look at my phone.
I went, "Oh shit, she knows, right?"

01:01:05.328 --> 01:01:07.497 align:center
So I…

01:01:07.580 --> 01:01:10.625 align:center
Close the door, get the hell out of there.
I was like, "She knows."

01:01:10.708 --> 01:01:12.794 align:center
And I was frustrated.
I was like, damn, you know?

01:01:12.877 --> 01:01:13.795 align:center
And I thought about it.

01:01:13.878 --> 01:01:16.964 align:center
I was like, "You know what, Wanda?
I mean, come on, think about it."

01:01:17.048 --> 01:01:19.717 align:center
"You… You… You're blessed.
You got someone who loves you

01:01:19.801 --> 01:01:21.427 align:center
and who's looking out for you."

01:01:21.511 --> 01:01:23.638 align:center
"You know, don't…
don't be like this. Yeah."

01:01:23.721 --> 01:01:25.348 align:center
And that's… And that's what we gotta do.

01:01:25.431 --> 01:01:27.392 align:center
We gotta look out for each other.

01:01:28.643 --> 01:01:31.396 align:center
And so on the way home,
I drove by my church…

01:01:35.733 --> 01:01:39.821 align:center
…and I threw my phone in the Bible study
and went back to the casino.

01:01:47.995 --> 01:01:49.038 align:center
You know what, y'all?

01:01:49.122 --> 01:01:51.374 align:center
This… This has just been amazing.

01:01:51.457 --> 01:01:55.211 align:center
And I think about, you know, 40 years ago,

01:01:55.294 --> 01:02:00.299 align:center
and I was sitting out there
watching performances up here.

01:02:00.925 --> 01:02:02.677 align:center
And now I'm standing up here.

01:02:13.646 --> 01:02:15.189 align:center
God is amazing.

01:02:15.273 --> 01:02:17.775 align:center
Thank y'all so much, Hampton. I love you.

01:02:18.818 --> 01:02:19.819 align:center
God bless you.

01:02:55.438 --> 01:02:56.898 align:center
We are one

01:02:59.609 --> 01:03:01.068 align:center
We are one

01:03:04.197 --> 01:03:05.656 align:center
We are one

01:03:08.618 --> 01:03:09.785 align:center
We are one

01:03:12.872 --> 01:03:14.749 align:center
We are one

01:03:17.084 --> 01:03:18.711 align:center
We are one

01:03:21.380 --> 01:03:22.381 align:center
We are one

01:03:25.468 --> 01:03:29.138 align:center
We are one

01:03:30.139 --> 01:03:31.474 align:center
We are one

01:03:34.602 --> 01:03:36.103 align:center
We are one

01:03:54.205 --> 01:03:55.706 align:center
Woo!
e one