Do they lay you face up or face down in your grave?
We cremate our dead, so I'm not sure.
Mr Amre, what would you like to say?
I am here to give these people one last and final warning.
Under the guise of massage parlours, they're running sleazy businesses
and attempting to defame India's great culture and value system.
And I swear by the thousands of workers standing with me,
if I win the upcoming elections…
I will shut down this entire illegal racket.
And for our country's women,
who work in these suspicious massage parlours,
I shall do everything I can to find them honest employment
and help them get back on their feet again.
That is all I have to say.
-What kind of leader do we want? -One more question, sir!
Hey!
Not here.
Only inside.
-Okay! -Go!
Go!
Say my name, Amre.
Amru, Amru.
Respected sir, I have recorded everything you did in your room today.
Sending you a teaser. Also note, sir,
if anything happens to me, even a viral flu, your video will go viral too.
Listen, I'm sorry, madam. I don't think you understand.
In the last two days, I've called you six times already.
I understand, sir.
May I please put you on hold for two minutes?
No, no, no. Please don't put me on hold.
As it is, the music you play is terrible.
You're not getting it.
-Six rupees. -Good morning, sir.
You know, in last month's phone bill, my wife had to pay six rupees extra.
Yes, sir. It will be credited to your account next month.
-But why are you panting, sir? -Why am I panting?
-What's your name, again? -It's Payal.
So this call I made, is it being recorded for quality purposes?
Yes, sir.
Very good.
So, Payal, my dear, I am a 73-year-old man. Okay?
This stress you're putting me through…
At this rate, your current customer will become my future widow very soon.
Sir, please don't stress.
Your charges will definitely be reversed in your next month's bill.
Next month? Next month, my wife will have to take you to court.
For my… For my heart attack.
Payal, listen. Do me a favour.
See, you can refund it to me in cash. I'll come to your headquarters. Okay?
Sorry, sir. I can only credit it.
But thank you for calling Telecorex. An executive…
Good morning, uncle.
Hey!
What?
-How much? -307.
Five hundred.
I wasn't out shopping all morning. I have been working out.
Oh, yeah?
-Did you steal this from the temple? -Hey!
-Huh?
Hey. My banana!
My banana.
He will pay.
Cut it from the rent.
Take a shower for God's sake.
-How much is it? -Three hundred and seven.
Three hundred and…
Where the hell is he coming from?
Our country's by-lanes may be narrow,
but the stories they tell are very intriguing.
Today's incident is no different.
It makes you sit up and wonder, what caused this death?
Was it the awful recipe for the okra curry
that Pappu's mother criticised in the common group chat?
-There's plenty of natural light. -Or was it Mrs Srivastav?
Why do you need the light on? Just switch it off.
Mumbai winter doesn't last for more than a few days.
Enjoy. Why do you need the fan?
They say it might even snow this time.
-Really? -Hmm.
Global warming, bro, global warming. Good, we'll save on expenses.
Shilpa, why do you have to watch these gory murder mysteries
first thing in the morning?
One day, we too might end up like this.
End up like this?
If someone does…
…I'll flip them over.
I don't have a black belt in judo just to hold my pants up.
I'll save you.
And who will save you from me?
What are you staring at? These two gray hairs of mine?
No, no! You're looking hot.
You can go butter your old aunties, okay?
I'll turn into an old hag if we continue to live here.
I'll dye your grey hair with watercolours.
Watercolour will not disguise my grey hair.
This apartment complex shouldn't be called "Peace Apartments,"
but "Rest in Peace Apartments."
Why can't we move somewhere else?
Shilpa! Don't start again!
The rent here is so low, it's still stuck in the dark ages.
This…
Mrs Fateha's head scarf. It falls here every day. And you know what?
You won't find a cheaper, prettier place anywhere else.
Honey, I'm serious.
I can't handle these old fogeys anymore.
Come on, let's make a baby.
Hey! One second, one second! What's wrong with you?
You're bored, so you have a baby? Is that how it works?
Look, if you're bored, watch TV. Scroll reels.
Shilpa, kids are a lifetime investment with zero returns. No benefits at all.
Get lost.
Uh…
Okay, listen. There's some good news.
What is it?
I just spoke with the Telecorex people.
-Hmm? -Remember the six bucks?
They'll credit it to your next month's bill.
Enjoy!
Six bucks.
All this effort for six bloody bucks?
Your obsession with money is getting worse.
It's six whole bucks. That's hard-earned money.
You can get two bananas for six bucks if you bargain really hard.
Just forget it.
Would you like some hard-earned porridge or bread?
Neither.
Free toast. At Mrs D'Souza's place.
By the way, there's also free dinner today.
-Free dinner? How come? -Yeah.
You've forgotten?
It's my Guruji's daughter's wedding.
Once again?
How many daughters does your Guruji have?
Come home early this evening. We have to pick up a gift.
A gift?
Mrs D'Souza.
Mrs…
Good morning!
Good morning, Ramakant.
-Good morning. -Hmm, how are you?
-I'm good. Thank you. -Mmm.
And here you go. Medication for your constipation.
Ooh! You're such an angel. Thank you for remembering.
Oh, no Mrs D'Souza. If I don't take care of you, who will?
-You see… -Mmm.
…I missed my breakfast since I was running around for your medicine.
Oh! Breakfast?
Yeah, sure.
Toast? Ah.
Mmm.
Oh, no, no, no! It's burnt.
-No, no. It's okay. It's okay. -Okay.
This damn toaster's not working properly.
What happened? Did you poop this morning?
I did, a bit.
So, Mrs D'Souza.
Did I tell you Shilpa's going ahead with the IVF?
-We're trying for a baby, you know. -Mm-hmm.
It took a lot of convincing.
But I love kids.
It's very expensive. Our expenses are through the roof.
Mrs D'Souza,
if the rent could be reduced a little, it would be of great help.
-Uh. -Why don't you let me butter your bread?
Mmm. Go slow on the buttering. There will be no discount on the rent.
Bloody con man.
Bloody chimney!
It's my house! And only I decide what happens here and what doesn't!
Go back to your beach house. Go!
Five hundred less.
Go, go.
Can you reduce it a little more than five hundred?
D'Souza.
Your favourite marmalade… oh.
-Marmalade I've got for you. -Aw! Thank you so much!
Eat it.
-Hello, Mrs Pherwani. -Hello.
Come. Please sit, please come sit. I was just leaving.
Thank you. Thank you.
Noir Mirage?
-Oh! Yes. -Suits your personality.
Thank you.
It's on discount at my store.
Very good.
-Okay, Mrs D'Souza. -Okay.
-We'll talk later. Do let me know. -Yeah. Bye.
-Bye, Mrs Pherwani. -Bye.
Guddu, what is this? Such a huge amount.
Did you bring back a camel from Dubai this time along with the perfume?
You're selling fake stuff at genuine prices.
But don't wanna pay the genuine price to me for the fake stuff?
-No, no… -Take it back. He doesn't want it.
No, no. Don't do that. Listen.
Bring it here.
Come on, Guddu. Why would you do that?
You're my bro.
This is great. You put a gun to my head and conduct business.
My father was a shooter.
It's just that…
I had to get into this business for my mother's sake.
Guddu, please see what you can do. A small discount.
Ramakant.
Special tea? With milk?
No!
I'm lactose intolerant.
-What? -Lactose intolerant.
-I see. -You know what that is, right?
Listen, forget about it. Just pay for this.
I told you to come home early today.
Put on your jacket. We're getting late for the wedding.
Yeah. I was packing a gift for the couple.
What's that huge thing you've bought?
It's your Guruji's daughter's wedding. It has to be big.
Hey! What are you doing?
Why are you tearing…
You like it?
This is a tester, right?
Is the label still on?
No.
Then how did you know?
Because I know you.
Yeah, but it seems like your Guruji's daughter's wedding
is like some festival that happens every year.
You can say what you like. I'm going to get them a gift that's nice and expensive.
Shut the shop and let's go.
But, Shilpa, it's a nice gift. It's a new tester.
Hey…
Let's get them an extension cord?
You can buy an extension cord for your house.
-Hello, sir. Hello, ma'am. -Hello.
Hmm.
Take a look at this.
This is our new range of appliances for the new-age family.
Anything for five or six hundred?
Sir, data cable and mouse is available in 550 rupees.
Sounds good. Let's take it.
Ma'am, you tell me what you like from all these. What about this one?
And this. This one.
I like this. How much is it?
Five-and-a-half thousand only.
Five-and-a-half thousand?
Yes, sir. That's what I just said.
Is it made of silver or something?
Sir, stainless steel.
These days, even marriages don't last a lifetime,
but this toaster comes with a lifetime warranty, sir.
So relationships stay warm and crispy for a lifetime.
Twelve hundred is a good price. It's so light anyway.
Sir, this is a showroom.
Not a flea market.
He's fleecing us. What he's quoting is very high.
I'm not listening to any of your nonsense today.
Only for you, ma'am, five thousand a piece only.
Special discount for a special lady.
What's so special about her?
Fine, special price for the both of us. Fifteen hundred.
You may pack it, please.
Great choice, ma'am. Great choice.
He said 5,000!
We can get it for 12 hundred… Shilpa!
What on earth are you doing?
Two vehicles will burn double the fuel, pollution will increase.
We need to be responsible.
I know exactly what you're doing.
Stop trying to be another Greta Thunberg. Let go of that.
Who?
Shut up and let go of it.
It's a new toaster. Worth 6,000.
Thank you.
We plan to get this one married next year.
Yes. Yes, sir.
But she's already married to you, right?
No, no. He means our daughter.
-One picture, sir. -Sure.
Um…
Hold this a little higher.
Are you trying to recover your five grand through the food?
Do you see that?
Our toaster is shining on that table.
The biggest one.
Tell your Guruji, he shouldn't just get you a job,
he should even get you an Olympic medal too.
Make sure you don't miss the ice cream.
We'll eat here,
-and pack a doggy-bag too. -Ramakant!
-What? -What are you doing?
They just dump it. They waste food.
We'll make use of it.
-How is it? -Hmm.
It's good. Mmm.
Put some more. We gifted them a toaster worth 7,000.
Oh, yeah. Get some chocolate syrup too, your favourite.
Yeah, yeah. Lots of it.
Raj, let's…
Oh! Sorry.
I think I mistook you for my husband.
He's also wearing a jacket of the same colour.
-Sorry. Sorry. -It's okay.
Oof! She's so hot!
Check her out.
If you take your eyes off your own wife, you're done for life.
And anyway, the only woman I find special is you.
What? I saw a case exactly like this on that crime show the other day.
Hmm.
Yeah.
How is Guruji?
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, bye.
What happened?
The groom's girlfriend showed up in the middle of the ceremony.
He's been sleeping with her this entire time. She was pregnant.
-What? -Hmm.
So, what happens to…
The wedding is off. What'll happen to the poor bride now?
Oh, to hell with her!
What happens with the toaster?
What?
Hey, we gifted them a toaster worth 5,000 yesterday.
What happens to that?
To hell with your bloody toaster!
A girl's life has been ruined, and you're rambling on about your toaster.
No, no. I mean, her life is not ruined. In fact, she's been saved.
Oh, shut up!
Listen, love. Let's go to Guruji's place this evening.
Um…
What I feel is, right now,
-the wound is still fresh. -Hmm.
We should give them some space. At least for now. Huh?
We'll go some other time.
Pregnant girlfriend?
Shilpa said we should go some other time. I said, "No!"
"He's my Guruji. I'll go right away."
Look, it's okay to share happiness with any and everyone.
But when it comes to sorrow…
you need your own people.
Sorry?
Sure, I'll have tea. With some snacks.
Now don't rush with the younger one's marriage.
Wait for four or five years, okay?
You're quite right, son.
And now you've been saddled with another task.
You received so many gifts at the wedding.
You'll have to find out who gave what, and then return them.
-But the wedding gift's for… -No, no, no! I… I understand.
I'll save you all the trouble, and tell you what gift I gave.
So, my gift was a toaster. The best gift on the list. Worth 8,000.
I thought Soni could make her husband some crispy toast every morning.
Could you send for the toaster?
Son, we've donated all the wedding gifts.
Donated them?
We gave them all to an orphanage.
How could you just donate them like that?
Why?
Those were our gifts.
So we donated them. Why are you so bothered?
Your gifts?
The wedding didn't happen. How can they be your gifts?
Wedding cancelled, gifts cancelled. I'd like my toaster back.
No, what I'm saying is…
Tomorrow, if Soni gets married again, will we have to give another gift?
Do we keep doing this?
What makes you think you'll be invited the next time?
Get out! Get out!
One second. One… one second. One second. One second. One second.
The snacks are coming. Let's eat and then talk.
-Get out of my house! -Hey! Hey, my bag! My bag!
Hey, yellow belt! My wife is a black belt.
-She'll slam you down! -Get out!
Hey! But I want my toaster back!
What's the name of the orphanage, you say?
BAL BHAVAN ORPHANAGE
Hey, Pichkoo! You keep putting your sticker all over the place.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Hey, excuse me. One minute. Who's in charge around here?
Ms Nandini. She's inside. Hey, Pichkoo, stop!
Chunnu, Munnu, make sure you don't drop the lemon.
Or you'll both have to keep at it for one more hour.
Um, ma'am.
Just a minute. Please hold on.
Hmm. What do you want? A kid?
We don't allow single men to adopt. Too many issues.
-No, no. Not a kid. I want this. -Mmm. What?
Toast? Do you think I'm running a tea stall here?
Hey, not the toast. I mean…
the thing that you made the toast in. The toaster. It's mine.
Hey? How could it be yours?
That very nice judo-karate coach, he donated it to us for the hungry orphans.
-What? Judo-karate coach? -Hmm.
So now he's become a philanthropist?
I gifted it to his daughter at her wedding.
-Oh, really? -It's mine. Can I please have it back?
Why should I believe you? Do you have the receipt?
Who gives a receipt along with a wedding gift?
You think I'm some kind of cheapo?
Who asks for a wedding gift to be returned? Only a cheapo, right?
Listen, I don't need a character certificate from you.
Mmm. If you had a character, I might have given you a certificate.
This is getting a bit much now!
Listen, you. One second. Here, here. I have this. Take a look.
-What are you showing me? -This is the warranty card. Heatpot.
-Lifetime warranty? -Yes.
Oh, wow! Thank you.
Hey!
What a thief you are, lady. You kept it?
What was that? Thief?
How dare you say that?
Hmm? I'm not a thief!
I was sent to jail on false charges.
-You are a thief! Your father's a thief! -Hey. Your father…
Don't drag my father into this! Don't you dare abuse my father.
He's also in jail on false charges. Get out!
Chunnu, Munnu, throw this man out.
-Come on! -Get out! Throw him out!
-Throw this man out! -Hey! Hey!
-He thinks he can come intimidate me? -My toaster!
And take my toaster away?
HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU WANT?
2 MILLION
MY MAN WILL MEET YOU
Hello?
Yes, I bought a toaster from you yesterday.
I wanted to return it and get a refund. But I don't have the receipt.
Uh, sir, I'll have to speak to my manager with regard to this.
Yes, then connect me to him. I'll talk to him myself.
Sir, why are you getting worried? I'll arrange for a call back with him.
When will that be?
Uh, the call can come at anytime, sir. Just answer it.
Yeah, sure, I'll be available. You make sure you arrange it.
Okay, sir.
Mangesh. Make sure you lock the gate.
We don't want any kids trying to run away again.
I'll give you 30 bucks. Not a penny more.
Now get lost.
Now what? Do I have to push the car?
Start moving. Hurry up.
You kids. Can't find a better time to go for a pee?
Move! Hurry up!
What?
What the hell did you do at Guruji's place?
Listen, I'll come home and explain.
There's nothing to explain. How could you do something like this?
Don't you have any shame?
Do you plan to snatch food from hungry children next?
-Snatched already. -What?
-There's a thief. -Thief!
Some thief just snatched a lady's handbag from her,
I'll catch him and get back to you. Okay, okay.
Thief! Thief! Thief! Catch him!
He's there! Thief! Thief! Thief!
Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief! Catch him! Thief! Thief!
This bloody chimney!
He wants me to dry his undies, fry his eggs.
And in return, he fries my brain.
Damn useless, good for anything.
Oh, God! Oh, God!
-Hello? -Good morning, sir.
Our bank is happy to off you a loan of--
Listen, I don't want a loan. Please stop calling me.
Ramakant?
Present, ma'am.
Have you heard of Bal Bhavan Orphanage?
-Yes. You just mentioned it. -Hey! Do you know of it or not?
Bal Bhav… yes, it sound vaguely familiar, ma'am.
You went there last evening, didn't you?
No, no, ma'am. We were both here, at home, playing board games.
Last night, someone stole a brand-new toaster from their place.
Now, since we received a complaint, we have to investigate.
So, what are you trying to say?
That you were the one who stole that toaster.
Ma'am, how can you fling such a crude allegation at me?
And not just that! You also stole two packets of the kids' biscuits.
That lady who runs the orphanage, Nandini,
she said you went there to demand she return the toaster to you.
When she refused, you grabbed it and left.
Ma'am, I'm telling you she's poisoned your ears against me.
Back off. And sit down with your legs crossed.
Or I'll break them.
What? My legs? Okay.
Okay, now spill.
One second. What… Bal… Bal Bhav…
Oh, yes, ma'am, yes. Now I remember. Yeah! I remembered, I remember!
Why didn't you say so earlier? I…
Shilpa, I did go there yesterday.
To give the warranty card, ma'am, for the toaster.
What's written on my forehead?
Hey! Tell the truth!
All right, ma'am.
I'll tell you the truth.
I did go to the orphanage.
And the lady in charge, Ms Nandini,
she feeds nothing but dry bread to the poor orphans.
You hold it like this, it crumbles into powder.
But she herself smears her toast with butter and stuffs her face with it.
I told her I would expose her.
That's why… that's why she got upset.
As for the biscuits?
Ma'am, I'm the kind of person who will go without food,
but will stand at the traffic lights to distribute biscuits to poor kids.
And their mothers as well.
You can ask my wife about it. She'll tell you.
Um, tell them, Shilpa. Tell her the truth.
The truth?
-You think he's a suspect? -Yes.
Then go ahead and search.
Yes, ma'am. Please search me.
The house.
Start searching, you guys.
We also misplaced our nail-cutter. See if you can find it.
Make hay while the sun shines.
Anything?
-Couldn't find it, madam. -Nothing here, madam.
I'm sure he's hidden it somewhere.
-I'll give him two slaps if… -No!
You know that women constables are forbidden from touching men.
Okay.
Was that okay for you?
When the police chief lands up here,
he'll strip him naked and drag him to the station.
Yeah. You didn't find the toaster, right?
Next time, make sure you carry a search warrant.
For now, get out.
-Out! -Let's go, let's go!
Out!
Get out!
Out!
Did he hurt you?
Huh!
Morning, Mama.
Oh! Holy mother of God!
How come this bat woke up so early in the morning, like a normal human being?
I've got work, Mama.
Oh. Work!
The stash is finished. Need to go score some more.
It's a genuine job, Mama.
Oh! Genuine! Okay, okay. Genuine job.
Do one genuine job for me too. Get my toaster fixed.
And mind you, if you sell it,
I promise I'll sell you straight to India's Most Wanted.
Rascal! He didn't even take my toaster.
Lunch.
I didn't go to your Guruji's to take anything.
But to give him the warranty card.
And they misunderstood me.
Today that lady cop called me a thief in my own home.
The world can call me whatever. It makes no difference to me.
But you…
I've lost my appetite.
Hey.
-Some juice. -But you already have some.
-Take your food and move ahead. -Okay.
This has been generously organised by Mr Amre. Please move ahead.
Come on.
Now I don't.
Take this.
Huh?
Hey, hey! Finish it, finish it.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes!
You better move it, darling, or you'll die.
Wow! What an awesome sticker, that is.
Pichkoo!
Okay, forget that. Let's play.
What about the deal, dude?
Yeah.
Ever since we got your message,
Mr Amre has stopped thinking about the country,
or the city and its problems entirely.
He's been thinking only about you.
Let's go, darling.
Think and name your price.
It's fixed.
Just remember, it's an Amru Amre matter.
I come to this place every Sunday.
It's fun.
So, darling?
Did you have fun?
Because of?
Safety belts, yeah.
But safety belts in life don't exist.
Anything can happen.
Road accident, drug overdose.
Or they murder you.
But show it as suicide. Who knows?
You just never know. Anything can happen.
Okay, then.
I'll come soon to pick up my stuff from you.
And to enjoy butter and toast made by your mom.
Yeah?
All right. Take care.
Bye.
Mama. Mama, you okay?
Yeah.
Uh, yeah.
Ever since you popped out, nothing else ever did.
Don't worry, Ma.
I am going to do something now…
…and pop right out of your life in a flash.
Pop out!
Oh, please pop out!
At least death will be peaceful.
You didn't let me live in peace. At least let me die!
Hmm. It's the constipation that brought on the heart attack.
When you consume too much bread, your stomach tends to bloat.
It causes constipation. I'm a doctor. I know about these things.
Go slow.
You're not at a party. You're at a funeral.
My father used to say,
"The more you eat at a funeral,
the more you feed the souls of those who have passed."
Huh.
If you eat so much bread, Aunty's soul will also get constipated.
Have you tried my berry pulao?
Hmm.
Thank you, Aunty.
He's going to sing.
I…
I would like to say two words about my Mama.
Mama.
Glen. My son.
True to his word.
Exactly two words.
Excuse me.
What is this?
I too
would like to say something about dear Mrs D'Souza.
But a little more than two words.
Mrs D'Souza…
Best person.
She used to treat me like her own son.
Hey!
In fact, even more than her own son.
No, no.
Even as she was dying, she continued to do good.
Before she died, she even called me.
She said,
"Ramakant, my son.
From today, your rent…
is reduced by 5,000."
-No! -Yes!
Maybe, maybe.
I said, "Mrs D'Souza…"
One, one second.
-I'm okay. I'm okay. -Hello?
Sir, can you bring over the toaster in a day or two?
-I can arrange for the refund. -It can be done?
-Yes. -I'll be there tomorrow morning.
-Okay, sir. -Yes, thank you.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Hey! What? Why?
Thank you.
-Mrs Pherwani. -Mmm?
Is there some leftover rice? We can pack a doggy bag.
-Of course. I'll get it… -No. It's okay. I'll take it. Thank you.
Hey!
What are you doing?
This is mine. I gave it to Mrs D'Souza for safekeeping.
You bloody vulture!
Mama isn't even buried yet, and you?
You're already here to steal her stuff?
You scavenger hyena!
How dare… How dare you call me a vulture?
This toaster is Mama's. Put it down!
-I bought it. It's my toaster. -Put it down!
This… This was Shilpa's surprise gift.
And what's it to you? Huh?
Now that Mrs D'Souza is gone.
Sell everything in the house and smoke it up? Buy drugs?
Have some shame, you con artist!
What were you saying back there, that Mama reduced your rent?
-Yes! -Yes? You liar!
-You think I'd lie about a dead person? -Mama's not dead. She's alive in here.
Please come quickly. Something's happened to Shilpa.
-Hey! -Come.
Mama! You haven't gone anywhere, Mama. You're still here.
It's an allergic reaction.
See this. Look.
-Her skin is turning red. -My back.
Is she allergic to berries?
Is she?
You didn't tell us earlier.
Had we known, we would've told you.
She will survive, right, Doctor?
It's a minor issue. I'll prescribe some medication. Don't worry.
Oh, please! You'd better take her to a proper doctor right away.
-Let's go. -Go. Hurry up.
-Hurry up. -Come, come.
-Let me know if you need any help, okay? -Sure. Yes.
-Get some rest. -Let us know.
Shame on you. Mama…
Let's go.
Hey!
Mama?
Is that you, Mama?
I knew you'd come to see me one last time, Mama.
Am I right, Mama?
I know I made your life a living hell, Mama.
I was a sinner, Mama. Say it, Mama!
I was a sinner, Mama. Mama. Please say it, Mama!
Say it, Mama!
I don't want you to feel guilty about anything.
If you were anyone else's son, you'd still be a sinner. You'd never be righteous.
Mama.
But I forgive you.
But what happened to your voice, Mama?
My voice…
The damn smoke from your marijuana ruined my throat, you idiot!
I'm sorry, Mama. Sorry, I…
I created so many problems into your life, Mama.
I'm such a terrible son, Mama. Good you're dead.
-Go back. Stay dead. -Okay.
-But, Mama! -What? What is it?
What?
I want to see your face, Mama.
Face? No, no, no. I… I… I've got a cough.
Bad cough. You'll get a viral infection.
It's okay. I don't care about viral, COVID, or anything.
I just want to see your face.
-Don't look. My face. I'll… -I want to see it one last time, Mama.
Mama!
I don't want you to feel bad,
but your face looks like that idiot Ramakant's face, Mama.
-Yeah! -No.
What am I even saying, Mama?
Yes.
One last time, Mama.
One last time. After that, I won't say anything.
-One last request. -What? What is it?
Can I get a hug, Mama?
Hug? Huh, No, no, I mean…
I never hugged you when I was alive. How can I hug you now when I'm dead?
-You smell bad. -I'll finally take a shower
just so we can hug each other, Mama.
Hug? No, no. No hug. No hug.
-Let me hug you just this once. -What if you squeeze too tight?
Mama, I may never see you again.
Let it out, Mama. Yes, Mama.
-I love you. I love you, son. -I love you. I love you.
-Mama? -Yes?
What happened to your stomach, Mama?
Huh?
Are you pregnant, Mama?
Did you meet Daddy up there?
Huh?
Mama, my brother? I have a brother.
Baby.
What's that sound, Mama?
I'm really constipated.
What happened to you, Mama?
-Oh, no! -What's this?
Mama, this…
M-Mama wants to eat toast.
You rascal!
Shame on you! My mom only just died!
-And you're trying to steal. -Glen. Glen.
This really is my toaster. Let me take it and go.
You're going to just one place, man. Straight to jail.
I will call the cops, you bastard! You wait!
Glen! It's my toaster. Give it back!
You're never gonna get it. You're never gonna get it.
I'm never gonna give it to you.
Try and take it from me! Try!
Freeze!
-Hey! Hey! -Hey!
-Freeze! -Get lost.
Hey!
Glen, stop! Give me my toaster!
Give it. Let go! Let go.
Let go. Let go of it.
It's my toaster.
My toaster! My toaster!
I won't let it go.
Let go! Let go! Let it go!
Huh?
Glen?
Why?
Hello? Police station.
Hello, ma'am.
Ma'am.
Ma'am, I promise, I didn't do anything.
My next-door neighbour, Glen, I went to his house to pick up my toaster.
It's my toaster, ma'am.
But he's a total junkie, ma'am. He refused to give it back.
So we had a little pushing and shoving, and…
suddenly, he-he fell over from the balcony, ma'am.
And… And he died, ma'am.
But it wasn't my fault, ma'am. I swear on my mom, I didn't do anything.
-Hello? Hello? -Believe me, sir, I didn't steal anything.
Why are you wasting my time? Just let me go.
-Hey! Are you trying to act smart? -Yeah?
Stealing your neighbour's flower pots?
Do one thing.
Strip him naked, and slap his stealing ass with a wet slipper.
-Get out of here! -Move. Move it!
Hello? Sorry. Tell me.
Hello?
Hello? Speak up.
I'm calling from the credit card company, ma'am.
We have this credit card scheme for you, and…
-Yeah, tell me? -Where are you?
You left so early this morning.
Yes, I had to pick up something from Guddu.
Do you know Glen is dead?
Yeah.
Yeah? How do you know he's dead?
Yeah. I mean, yeah. What? G-Glen is dead?
-Yeah? -Yeah. I don't know how it happened.
Must've fallen off the balcony, poor fellow.
Huh? How do you know he fell off the balcony?
Well, he… he was always stoned, so maybe he fell… he really fell off?
Yeah.
Could've been suicide.
Or maybe murder.
Murder? M-Murder? Why murder? Why would it be a murder?
You keep talking nonsense!
You better stop watching those crappy TV shows, okay?
And please… please stay home.
When the police land up there, don't get involved.
Yeah. Fine.
Why would it be a murder? Hmm.
Hi, sir!
-Here so early in the morning! -Yeah.
-Come on then. -Yeah.
I brought it back in one day.
But sir, where's the box?
You don't need the box to toast bread. I brought the toaster, right?
Yes, sir, but then used products have a no-return policy.
I hope you haven't used it?
No. Not at all. I just took it out of the box. That's all.
-You sure, sir? -Yeah, yeah.
This is probably when you gave us a demonstration.
You toasted bread for us. We haven't used it.
This can be cleaned. I'll dust it off. There's nothing.
Just crumbs. See? There, it's all gone.
You can have it back. And please, return my money.
-It's from… -No, sir, it doesn't…
Look, I'm a salesman. You're also a salesman.
Right? Don't say no more.
Take this. Buy some candy for your kids. From an older brother.
Now could you hurry? I gotta go, please.
TEN RUPEES
RESERVE BANK OF INDIA
Take your toaster and get out of here!
-Damn fool. -I'll take all of you to court!
WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
SEEN
WAIT. YOU'LL FIND OUT.
Hey!
Who are you?
Hey!
Who are you?
You are?
Tenant of the family.
The people who used to live here.
They're up there.
Now you can happily claim everything.
He's alive.
What is this nonsense?
Who are you? And what the hell are you doing here?
I'm talking to you, mister. Do you hear me?
Hello?
Hey? Why are you yelling?
Jai Hind, sir!
He's our chief.
Yes, Salunke?
How did he die?
Sir, it's either suicide or an accident.
His mother passed away just a day before.
Hmm.
Drugs.
He used drugs, sir. So maybe an accident.
Oh-ho!
You could sense it even at his mother's funeral.
The grim reaper hasn't left yet.
Why would the grim reaper go anywhere else, huh?
Calculate the average age in this apartment complex.
He probably meets his sales target right here.
Excuse me, please.
Mrs D'Souza's precious toaster got left behind.
Pichkoo!
Pich…
Where is it?
Wow! What an awesome sticker, that is!
Pichkoo!
Salunke!
Has anything…
been stolen from the house?
No, sir.
Anything missing from the kitchen?
I mean, like a new mixer, toaster, something like that?
What kind of a thief would only steal a toaster?
Did I ask you?
Sir, this house has never seen a new toaster.
All these years, Mrs D'Souza makes her toast in this same toaster.
Made.
Oh, Salunke! It's a crime scene.
Not the community club where everyone shows up to play cards.
Get them out. Out! Out!
-Move it, everyone. -Out!
Everyone out!
Move it, madam!
Everybody out.
What about you?
Do you need someone to escort you?
Out!
Mr Burma.
Let's go. You can take your nap in the park.
Talk to me.
That junkie's phone, laptop, hard disk, everything
they've been taken into custody. I'll personally check everything.
But, sir, the last time, I mean…
The last time when I met him for the first time, he had a toaster with him.
He was clinging to it and walking around.
-That toaster is missing. -Listen…
Before someone else gets their hands on it, I want that video. Understand?
Hey, hey. No need to stress, sir. I'll find it.
Just don't forget my ticket…
He hung up.
Murder, isn't it? I think so too.
Hey.
Stop watching crime shows on TV.
Better than that, watch cooking shows. Okay?
Now go.
My TV. My choice of shows.
Hey?
Aggressive.
B-206.
Mrs Pherwani?
It's me, Ramakant.
Mrs Pherwani?
Are you there? Namaste, Mrs Pherwani.
It's not at all what it looks like in the video.
Wait.
Oh, okay, okay, Mrs Pherwani. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Uh, sorry. Bad manners.
You shouldn't disturb anyone while they're on the pot.
I had no idea. You carry on.
Be comfortable. Take your time. Let it all out. I'll wait right here.
I'll wait till you're done.
But what you're seeing in the video, it's not like that at all.
Why don't you watch it again, carefully?
And anyway, you knew Glen, right? That alcoholic junkie.
I swear he was drunk even then. He lost his balance and fell over.
I didn't do anything. Believe me.
There's so much stress in my life already.
Shilpa's getting her IVF done. Mrs D'Souza must've told you.
She's having trouble getting pregnant. It's very stressful.
It's possible you could be the problem.
No, no, not at all. It's not me. My tests are all fine.
The doctor said I'm a roaring lion, actually.
But Shilpa, poor thing.
Good. Don't disturb me now.
You see the room on the right? Go wait for me in there.
-In the room? -Yes.
Okay, I'll do that.
Also please don't offer me tea or anything. I don't drink tea this late.
Next station, coming up. Doors will open…
Eh?
Mrs Pherwani!
What are you doing?
Mrs Pherwani.
Please let me go. Please delete my video.
It's been 20 years since Mr Pherwani died.
This bed has stayed cold and dry since then. Just like Malini's heart.
You know that D'Souza?
She was Malini's best friend.
But Malini was very jealous of her.
Because you were so close to her.
Bitch.
Oh.
But now you'll be close only to Malini.
Look at Malini.
-My teddy bear. -Ew!
Please. Please don't do this.
Please. Please let me explain myself.
See. I-I lied to you.
There's nothing wrong with Shilpa. She's more than good. She's perfectly fine.
I'm the one with problems.
Please. I'm no lion or anything. I'm a mouse.
You're like an aunty to me. Aunty, please delete it.
Who aunty?
There is no aunty in here.
There is only Malini.
Malini. Call me Malini.
Or better still,
call me "Maal."
"Maal"?
Maal, please.
Maal. Maal, please. I'll do all your work around the house.
A lifetime full time housemaid for free.
I'll vacuum under the bed twice a week.
Do you wear diapers? I'll bring you diapers.
-I'll clean your toilet. -Shush.
Delete it, please.
There. Video deleted.
Now go. Get out.
Thank you. Thank you, Mrs Pherwani. Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be here tomorrow as promised.
Malini always has a backup ready.
Time-out, please.
Mrs Pherwani, this…
This is my toaster.
Brand new.
I have paid 9,000 for it. But I'll give it to you for 4,999. Only.
Special price for a special lady.
For Maal aunty.
Malini will consider this a gift and keep it.
Gift?
And you too.
Huh?
You're back home?
Why are you bouncing on me?
I have something to tell you. I just couldn't sleep at all.
Do you have the slightest idea what's going on in this complex?
What else is going on?
There's been a murder.
Glen's murder.
-M-M-Murder? -Mm-hmm.
That cop who came in earlier… I overheard him talking to someone on the phone.
He said Glen's toaster is missing.
From the way they were speaking,
I felt that the murder took place because of that same toaster.
Huh?
T-Toaster? Murder? What is this nonsense you're babbling about?
Would someone murder a man over a silly toaster?
Everyone's saying it's a suicide, and here you have your own theories.
No.
And what I also feel was that Mrs D'Souza was also a victim of murder.
Hey, hey. Shilpa, listen.
For God's sake, don't say things like this in front of anyone else.
Because of you, the cops will come and throw me into jail.
Huh? Why will the cops throw you into jail?
If the wife is spreading rumours,
then obviously the husband will bear the brunt of it.
-Hmm. So this is a rumour? -Right?
It's a rumour? Fine. Fine. Don't believe what I'm saying.
When he finally gets caught, we'll talk then.
Caught? Who?
Who'll be caught?
The toaster killer.
-The toaster killer? -Hmm.
How can you just give someone a label like that?
I mean…
Who knows? Maybe the poor guy just couldn't help it.
C-Can you imagine what he must be going through?
-But who? -The…
This, uh… …toaster killer, the one you just mentioned.
What he's going through?
Just wait till he goes to jail.
When they strip him naked and hang him face down.
And the police will whip his ass with a slipper soaked in water.
-Whack! Whack. -Hey!
-That's it. -How can you say things like that?
Why are you so worried?
I saw this on that crime show on TV.
Shilpa, how I wish…
For your own sake, you'll stop watching those ridiculous crime shows.
Please.
But why do the slippers have to be soaked?
Because it stings more.
-Hmm. -Whack!
Hey.
Why aren't you answering? Usually, you run out naked to answer.
Hello.
-Hello? -Since last night…
I don't wanna talk about that nightmare at all.
All right, then.
Maybe the cops will talk to you once they've seen the video.
Aren't you too old to be blackmailing young people?
Have some fear of God.
What do… What do you want anyway?
Patience, my teddy bear.
Yeah, Guddu.
When you come to see me next, please wear that jazzy red tracksuit.
Tonight. Okay?
Yeah, cool, Guddu. I'll see you later tonight.
Guddu.
Namaste.
So after Mrs D'Souza, she's become your new buddy?
Shame on you.
Huh?
Ramu!
My red teddy bear!
Namaste.
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
What happened?
I'm just a little tired.
Climbed a mountain?
A mountain climbed on me.
Come and get me.
If I become Deputy CM tomorrow and if people catch me in a threesome,
how do you think that will look?
-It'll look bad. Very bad. -Yeah?
It's not going to look good, right?
Yeah. Very bad, for sure.
-Get me the video. -Mmm. I'll get it.
Do what needs to be done.
-Burn him alive, if need be. -Okay.
-Kill him if you have to. -Okay.
Hello?
Yeah? Where are you?
Uh, I'm stuck somewhere.
Right.
Okay, okay, okay. Come quickly. Okay.
I hope you're not allergic to berries, are you?
-Namaste. -Yes, namaste, Timmy.
We checked the laptop, hard disk.
-Everything. -Anything?
-It's nowhere in sight. -What?
I'm quite sure that video of yours is hidden inside that toaster.
Your content is so sizzling, after all, it's probably getting toasted.
But you know which toaster it is? Do you, or not?
-Y-Yes, yes, sir. I know. -So then?
I saw it with him, sir.
It had this yellow sticker with the name Pichkoo written on it.
-Then go look for it. -Don't worry.
I'll find it. One hundred percent. I promise!
But, sir.
I hope you remember your promise too?
Those Disneyland tickets…
My teddy bear.
See you tomorrow.
Are you checking out your own pictures secretly, huh?
Or looking for that video?
It's not in there.
WHAT EXACTLY IS IN THE TOASTER?
Toaster kill…
Shil… Shilpa.
Hmm?
I-I have something to tell you.
Yeah, tell me.
I…
Where… Where did this come from?
Mrs Pherwani sent it.
Your new friend.
What's wrong? Everything okay?
-No, it's nothing. -Okay.
Could you spread this on the bread for me, please?
Ramu!
Aren't you ashamed?
Whack!
-Kill him! Kill him! -Whack!
-What is it? -Ramu.
See you tonight at 09:30.
Sorry, I can't come over tonight.
This evening, I'm going out with Shilpa.
And anyway, I'm exhausted.
By the time I get home, it's three in the morning.
I've been lying to Shilpa the whole time.
I can't do this anymore.
Can't do this?
No.
Then do one thing.
Leave Shilpa for good.
What? Have you lost your mind?
She's my wife, okay? I… I love her very much.
Oh. So you love her?
Yes.
Then you'll have to pay the price for that love, Ramu.
What… what price?
Fifty lakhs.
Mrs Pherwani, you can whack me as much as you want.
But please spare my life.
Fifty lakhs.
Fifty lakhs, Ramu.
Did you just say 50 lakhs?
Where am I gonna get 50 lakhs from?
Even if I sell both my kidneys, I won't get 50 lakhs.
You know my circumstances.
I live in a rented apartment.
On top of that, you've made me your slave, and pay me nothing.
I massage you, I dance for you, wash your clothes, clean and mop,
I chase rats, kill lizards, play a game of charades,
hide-and-seek, board games, you made me catch a pigeon once.
I'm terrified of pigeons. Why would you do that to me?
Honestly, I don't have that kind of money.
You don't have the money?
But last night when we went out for dinner,
you were flashing your credit card, and tipped the waiter so generously.
When did we go out? We didn't go anywhere.
I came over to your place, after which, I went home, had some curry,
and went to bed.
You're making up stories in your head.
Look, Mrs Pherwani, go see a doctor. Please.
Not a doctor.
I should let the police see your video.
Move your ass and arrange for that money.
Or I'll send your sorry ass to jail.
But listen…
Hello, Fateha.
How can Pherwani miss your lovely party?
I'll be there.
Good job.
What's up, bro?
Not bargaining today?
Did you win the lottery?
Life has become worthless.
What bargaining can I ask for?
Ramakant.
What's going on, bro?
All okay?
I'm in deep shit, Guddu.
I'm caught in the clutches of some witch.
Honestly, I don't think you're the kind of guy to have an affair.
It's not an affair.
It's blackmail.
Blackmail?
And Guddu,
you've got a bunch of connections in Dubai, right?
Yeah.
Could that be any gangster-type connections?
Eleven o'clock, tonight. Cheetah Bar.
Ramu.
That witch. The witch.
I heard there's some witch you wanna get rid of.
Guddu.
Come sit.
Where's that Dubai connection we were gonna meet?
Day time, I'm Guddu AM.
Night time, I'm Guddu PM.
Pew!
So it's you?
Visiting card?
-Yeah. -What if the police get hold of it?
And how will they? There's only one. I show it and take it back.
So you'll fix it?
But have you ever done something like this?
I'm making my debut for your sake.
Debut?
Guddu, it's not such a big deal.
You just have to get the video back by threatening her.
It'll be done. Twenty-five grand only.
What? T-Twenty-five?
Guddu, but we are buddies, man.
Besides, I'm giving you a break.
Now, you tell me, does anyone stand a chance these days without nepotism?
Dude, as a matter of fact, you should be paying me.
Free.
-Free? -Yeah. Free.
Deal. Eat. It's free.
Consider your job done.
Be careful.
Ramu.
Hmm.
Oh, what is this?
What is this? What is this?
Time to delete Ramakant's video, aunty.
WORK IS DONE. COME TO THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE.
Guddu.
Mrs Pherwani?
You threatened her so hard, she passed out.
You have no idea how deadly my friend here is.
Guddu, my brother, the video has been deleted. Now we can party.
No, no, Guddu. Not on the rocks. No way.
Some ice. Can I get you some ice? Ice? Sure.
Mrs Pherwani?
Is there some ice?
Okay, fine. You sleep. Carry on.
Guddu.
If only your father were alive today, he'd be so proud of you.
Guddu, my buddy?
Guddu has joined his father in hell. That good for nothing.
What have you done to my friend, Guddu?
Idiot.
Now you better dispose of the body.
Dispose of it? How do I do that?
I don't know how and where these things are done.
I know the perfect place.
Wait. Wait. Not there.
There.
Why? Why not here?
Hmm.
The prince of this theme park is buried there.
Mr Pherwani.
Huh?
He was so desperate to keep this stupid place that he…
Died?
Huh?
What is this?
A pillow.
So your friend is nice and comfy.
I'm sorry, Guddu.
Do they lay you face up or face down in your grave?
We cremate our dead, so I'm not sure.
-Face up. -Face up.
Ramu!
Huh?
One thing you better get into your thick head, lover boy.
If anything happens to Malini,
that video of yours and this location pin will go straight to the police.
-Come on, madam, I already told you… -Madam.
First, you need to give it to me in writing
that these poor orphan children are not allowed to eat toast.
-Aren't we looking for your toaster? -As if you're looking for it.
I gave you the thief's name, address and everything.
But you people still can't find my toaster for me?
One minute. One minute.
-Salunke. -Yes, sir.
What kind of toaster?
Look, sir, it's my toaster. I even have a picture on my phone to show you.
And where does he live, this toaster thief?
Right there. In the Glen D'Souza's apartment complex. In the next building.
Ramakant Parikh is his name.
He's Glen's tenant.
Actually, sir, we conducted a thorough search of the apartment.
But no sign of the toaster.
Listen, sir, now I'll conduct a search and show you how the toaster turns up.
No. Look, madam…
The police are doing their job. If we find it, we'll let you know.
What will you people ever find? Just give me my phone back.
-You just drink water and go to bed. -Madam, I can live on fresh air as well.
Mmm. You're asking for a slap.
SHREE SHARADASHRAM APARTMENTS BORIVALI WEST, MUMBAI 400092
Where have you been all night?
Why was your phone switched off?
I-I went to the docks with Guddu.
So you were at the docks with Guddu, huh?
Or were you rolling around in the mud with some pig?
It's too early in the morning for all this.
You weren't here all night. So I have to do this in the morning.
Now you too can pounce on me?
You too?
Who else is pouncing on you, tell me?
Shilpa, I need to pee. Let me go.
I really don't give a damn. You can pee in your pants.
But I need to know, where were you all night?
Tell me.
Go get the door.
To hell with the door. Tell me now.
But I'm dying to pee.
I don't care. Pee in your pants if you like. I said, tell me!
Shilpa…
Ramakant?
Yes.
Mmm… Yeah, I got him. Let's go.
Shilpa!
-Hello, sir? Hold on, one second. -Keep walking!
What are you doing? Where are you taking me?
-Just move. Move. -Sir, just listen to me. Sir, look.
-Move. Move! -Where are you… Shilpa! Shilpa!
Where are you… I'll file a police complaint against you.
-You can't kidnap people like this. -Yeah, go ahead and complain.
I am the police. And we're going to the police station. Now move.
What? Sir… sir.
Ramakant!
-Sir… Shilpa! -Stop!
-Sir, why are you harassing me, sir? -Stop right there!
I'm harassing you? Huh?
You steal toasters from hungry orphans.
Toaster?
Okay, no.
You're looking for Glen's toaster, right? What's hidden in that toaster?
Hey, shut up! What is she trying to say?
Stop playing detective. They're cops. You'll get me in trouble.
Would you shut up? I overheard you talking to someone on the phone.
What exactly is in that toaster?
Has she fallen on her head?
What he's asking is, have you lost your mind?
-Shut up! -That's him! That's the guy! That's him!
Hey! You bloody thief! Sir!
I'm telling you, lay him on ice naked and then call me.
I'll thrash him so hard, he'll never be able to have toast again.
Oh, God, woman. Why have you come here? I'm handling the matter, can't you see?
Spare me, sir. The police have finally woken up from their sleep.
I thought I'd handle it myself.
Why aren't you talking? Tell them the truth.
-I definitely saw this guy. -Hmm.
Inspector, I even put a sticker on the toaster with my name on it.
This madam gave me a good thrashing with her slipper.
She said, "Is this your father's toaster?"
Don't say anything more than you're supposed to say.
Don't drag fathers into it. Understood?
So your name is Pichkoo?
-Yes, ma'am, how do you know? -Because you're very famous, that's why.
You're involved in this too?
Involved? What… what involved? Involved in what?
Look, sir.
Shilpa. One second. One second. One second.
Was it me? It was me, right?
Turn… Turn around. Turn around.
Yes. Now tell me.
-Out of the three of us, who was the man? -Hey!
-You see that, sir?
Sir! The price of that toaster was 5,000. I even double-checked online.
And what if we give you 5,000?
Will you take back your complaint?
Five thousand bucks? Yes, I will do it.
I'll buy it on online sale.
Here you go, 5,000.
No need to count. I'm sure it's fine.
Hmm. So now is the case closed?
Yes. The case is closed. Let him go.
What do you mean, "Let him go"? How can we close the case just like that?
It's an out-of-court settlement, sir. I got what I wanted.
Come with me. I'll deal with you.
You called me a man, right? Let me show you. Let's go.
There are murders in this city.
There's blackmail in this city.
And here you are defaming a decent man over a simple toaster?
He's a thief! He's not decent.
No, no, no. I know him very well.
Personally.
Isn't it? Now you may go.
Or should we file a complaint against you too, for harassment?
Uh.
Hmm.
-Sir. -Mmm.
Thank you, Mrs Pherwani.
We will pay you back.
Oh, no, no. Don't even talk about it, please.
You two are like my own.
Then I also have some right over Ramakant, don't I?
Isn't it, Ramakant?
Hmm. Let's go.
Thank you.
-Welcome. -Did you steal that toaster?
-No, Shilpa. -Did you steal that toaster or not?
Listen. Let me just thank her and come back.
-You've lied to me about everything. -I'll tell you. Let me go and thank her.
Did you steal that toaster or not? Tell me.
I'll tell you everything. One second.
You've lied to me about everything. Everything!
No, Shilpa. Lemme, lemme just go and thank her first.
Yeah, go. Go and say thank you. Go!
Shilpa!
Shilp…
I… I'll be back.
Mrs Pherwani. Mrs Pherwani.
Are you trying to trap me? Why'd you give that money to her?
I was handling it, right?
"In this dry, barren land,
a new bud has bloomed."
What?
"It's like a whole new life is awakening," Ramu.
What shit are you reading, Mrs Pherwani?
What's with this life-awakening crap?
I'm going to be the mother of your child.
You're joking, right? Mrs Pherwani, who gets pregnant just from a massage?
SHIV SHANKAR GANESH
Oh, dear Lord.
You're the one who knows it all.
And today, you'll have to answer me. Look. Please, please tell me.
Did, did I choose the stinginess for myself?
I only inherited it!
My father was even a bigger miser than me.
Even with condoms, he was stingy. Which is why I was born before my time.
And Lord, that crazy woman.
She keeps cooking up fake stories on her own.
Have mercy on me. Please protect me, God.
Else my marriage will fall apart.
Shilpa will dump me and go away, I swear, God.
And I won't be able to live without her. You know that.
Now you decide.
Please. Please.
Got you!
Tell me. Where's that toaster?
AMRE SIR
WE FOUND THE TOASTER, SIR. I'M SENDING THE LOCATION PIN.
Let's go.
Hey, move it.
No. You go, sir. I don't wanna go. I'm scared.
Scared of an old hag? Come on. Be a man.
Listen, sir, this isn't a house. It's a witch's cave.
-You don't know that lady. -Hey, enough. Please.
Now do one thing. Send her a message.
Say you're coming. She'll open the door.
The door will be open.
Which apartment?
B Wing, 206.
All the best, sir.
Ding-dong!
Mrs Pherwani?
Ding-dong?
Ding-dong, ding-dong?
Bloody hell.
Where are you hiding with the door wide open, Mrs Pherwani, huh?
A thief might break in and steal your precious toaster.
Then you'll come complaining to me.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Turns out you're a bigger player than me. Come on.
THE JOB IS DONE COME TO THE OLD WOMAN'S HOUSE.
Mr Balgaode?
What!
Sir?
Hey! Sir!
Seems like you're hell-bent on making Malini a serial killer?
You know what you need to do next.
Stingy even with this.
You buried your friend here. You'll bury this guy here as well?
Am I a gravedigger, or what, huh?
Digging new graves every day?
Why don't you do it? Come on. Here, take this.
Ramakant!
W-What is this you're doing?
Game over, Ramakant.
Now that the grave is already dug…
…the secret buried between Ramakant and Malini should also come out. Right?
What secret is she talking about, Ramakant?
You know those cheap horror shows on TV
that she keeps watching? Nothing's serious. It's a joke.
Now,
will Ramakant admit it or should Malini?
No, no, no! Two minutes.
For two minutes, just stay quiet, please.
-I am… -What will you say?
Ramakant is speaking. You stay quiet. Be quiet.
Step back, please.
Shilpa…
This old hag is out of her mind.
Try and understand what I'm saying, okay?
What is it?
Why are you scared of Ramakant? What is it?
It's not Ramakant.
Someone more terrifying.
Have you heard of The Undertaker?
Yeah… that…
That's who I am.
You bloody old hag, you…
You think you can kill me? You think you can kill me?
I will.
I'll choke-slam you, yeah?
Speak up! Where is the toaster? Tell me!
Why do you need the toaster?
Video.
It's inside the toaster, right?
I told you there's something inside that toaster.
Shh. There's nothing.
How do you know there's a video in the toaster?
Because I know everything. Come on, hand it over now.
You can kill me, but I will not tell you where the toaster is.
I will kill you. I'll kill you right here.
Get it, bitch?
Where is it? Where is the toaster?
Ramakant's video is in the toaster.
My video is in the toaster, Shilpa.
What are you blabbering about? What video of Ramakant is in the toaster?
Hey, you moron! What is this video of you now?
Huh?
I mean… Amre said there's a video of him with some woman. You're saying it's your…
Oh! Ouch!
That means you and Amre have something going on. An affair?
Hey!
You guys are having an affair.
What the hell is he talking about?
Who is this Amre, and what is going on between the two of you?
Listen. There's nothing! Who's Amre? Who's Amre?
Your curse, my boss, Amre!
Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
Get it out! Get the toaster. Come on.
You'll hit me? You'll kill me?
-Go ahead. -Okay.
You did it!
How can you hit an old woman?
-Hey! -Sir! Sir!
I need to have that bloody toaster right now!
Sir, sir, sir, sir!
Don't shoot, sir.
Shilpa, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Huh? Sir, sir, sir.
R-Ramakant will bring you the toaster.
-Okay. -Ramakant is bringing you the toaster.
-Hold your fire. -Mmm.
Sir. Here's the toaster.
Yes!
-I'll get it out. -Hmm.
BAADU LOCATION PIN
Thank you.
Check her out. Are you crazy or what?
Hey! Hey!
-Stand back. And don't you dare move. -Okay.
And you! You tell me the whole truth.
You're not just a miser, you know.
-You're also a liar. -Let's go home and talk about it.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I don't wanna play anymore. No more games for me.
Kill me. Kill me.
Kill Ramakant, for God's sake!
Why do you keep calling yourself Ramakant all the time?
This is also her doing. That witch who's slowly getting up.
She just won't die.
You wanted to know, right? What's going on between Malini and Ramakant?
That massage… pouncing…
Shil… Shilpa…
Physical relationship.
She's lying through her teeth. This witch makes up all kinds of stories.
Shut up!
That's why.
So, that's why you wanted to live among all the old people, huh?
No, no. No, no.
And that's why you find these four grey hairs of mine hot?
-They are hot. -Shut up!
Don't get fooled by her old age.
She's, she's made of steel, Shilpa!
This old hag can do a hundred pull-ups with just one hand!
All this shit.
Shilpa, all this happened all because of this cursed toaster.
You remember this, right?
I stole it from the orphanage.
Thief! Thief!
-Give it to me. -Let go of it.
-My toaster! -Leave it!
I panicked, Shilpa!
All this mess, Shilpa, happened because of this bloody toaster!
Bloody hell.
Two SD cards?
Hey, hey, hey! Don't do it, don't do it. No, no, no. No.
-Mrs Pherwani. -Ramu.
Give it. Give it to her.
Put the card in the phone. Show me the video.
Play it.
Say my name. Amre.
Amru! Amru!
Please, turn it off.
I've had enough for today. Please.
-Yes, sir… -Hey! Don't. Give it here. Let me see.
-Sir. -Mmm.
-You're a policeman, right? -Mmm.
Why don't you do something?
Wake up the animal inside you, sir.
All hail the tiger, sir. You are a tiger.
Hey, hey, not here. The other side. The other side.
Drop the gun. Drop the gun. The gun. Drop the gun.
-Bloody hag! Drop the gun! -Huh?
Drop the gun! Drop it! Drop it!
Drop it! Drop it! Drop it, you bitch, drop the gun!
Shilpa, run!
-Where do we go? -Here. Here. Come on.
Here. Here. Come on.
Ramu!
Come to Malini.
She's out of bullets.
-I'll go and check. -Shilpa, no, no. She'll kill you.
I didn't earn my judo black belt just to hold my pants up.
"Just to hold your pants up," I know.
She'll beat you up so badly, your black belt will turn blue.
-Just shut up. -Shilpa! Shilpa!
Sh… Shilpa.
Why are you bowing in front of her?
Ramakant.
Put her down!
Didn't I tell you? She's made of steel. Don't fight her.
What's the point of saying, "I told you so"? Do something!
Mrs Pherwani, we've had enough of you.
I've never hit a woman in my life. But if I lose my shit…
Did I send you to have a chat?
Hey! Hey, buddy!
Where is the inspector?
So what you're telling me is the bullet that hit the inspector
was fired by that old hag?
Yes. Yes, sir. I swear.
My video, have you guys watched it?
No… no, sir.
All right. You guys can go.
-We can go? -Yeah.
-Do you have a safety pin? -No, sir.
-What is it? -What?
What do you want?
No, sir, I just wanted to ask you something.
Yeah?
You'll copy the video from this card into your phone,
and then delete it after you watch it?
Yeah.
-Why? -He has no idea.
What?
-Don't you know? -Know what?
Sir, these days, hackers have come up with all kinds of tricks.
They know how to recover deleted videos, and spread them all over the net.
It's not safe anymore. S-Sir, do one thing.
The pit is already dug. You just bury it. Bury it.
It could still be recovered, even if you bury it.
Oh, yeah. It could be found. So you… Better you burn it. End of story. Burn it.
-Do you have a matchbox? -No, sir.
Sir, drop it in water.
But if you drop it in water, it can be recovered and dried again.
What's the point of drying it?
When you hang wet clothes on the line, they dry. Don't they?
Hey!
You swallowed my video. I mean, you swallowed your own video?
How will a hacker find it now?
Of course, sir. How will they find it now?
Thank you, sir. Bye, sir. Excuse us.
Do you have water?
No, sir. No water.
-Do you have water? -No, sir.
Thank you, Shilpa. You saved me. Let's get out of here.
We got out, right?
Now it's your turn, okay? You get out.
"You get out" meaning?
Hmm.
Why don't you go to some other old lady now?
Why would you say that?
Didn't you see it? It was she who set me up.
She was blackmailing me.
Okay. Tell me one thing.
If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?
It must have run out of fuel. I fill the bare minimum.
Hey! Shilpa?
Shilpa! Please wait!
Shilpa… Shilpa.
What you said was right.
I'm a sick guy.
I'd have to be sick to go to Guruji's place to beg for the toaster.
To steal from an orphanage.
And to be honest, I… Shilpa, I didn't feel bad about it.
I looked right into your eyes and lied.
But what happened with Malini, Shilpa…
I didn't just feel bad for myself…
I felt bad for you too.
I felt bad for us.
Shilpa, I know that…
my sickness lies in being stingy.
But not in being a pervert at all.
Not at all.
I'm sorry.
By the way, there was one more thing I wanted to tell you.
Get those four grey hairs dyed, please.
Excuse me.
Does this road lead down to the city centre?
Yeah.
One second!
-Yes, ma'am? -The city centre?
Yes, yes.
Since it's our anniversary, shall we go out for lunch?
Sure, let's do it.
Happy?
Is the procession here?
Okay, I'm on my way.
I'd like to see a nice perfume, please.
Yes, sir.
Here you go. 5,000.
Show me something better than this.
Better than this?
Here, sir. 10,000.
-Is this the best you've got? -No, we do have better ones.
Shall I show you those?
Very well, sir.
I have something special.
Yeah. Here.
It's the last one left. All the film stars use this one.
Hero, zeroes and villains.
-Really? -Yeah.
Twenty-five thousand.
Card machine.
Spray me for six bucks.
One more.
Six!
Sir, sir, sir.
Uh, only for you.
50% discount.
Sir, sir. One… please… please, can I click a selfie with you? .