WEBVTT

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Well, kids,
sorry to love you and leave you,

00:00:40.957 --> 00:00:42.667 align:center
but I got a hot date in Philadelphia.

00:00:42.751 --> 00:00:43.585 align:center
Oh, Danny!

00:00:43.668 --> 00:00:46.212 align:center
-Your car is three minutes away.
-Aw.

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How's your mom, Danny?

00:00:47.338 --> 00:00:48.381 align:center
Mm. You know Beverly.

00:00:48.465 --> 00:00:50.925 align:center
She fell off her porch
and she's acting like she got a bug bite.

00:00:51.009 --> 00:00:52.010 align:center
Oh, she's a tough cookie.

00:00:52.093 --> 00:00:54.304 align:center
I just got to be there
until she gets out of the hospital,

00:00:54.387 --> 00:00:56.181 align:center
and then Aunt Pam can take over.

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You think you'll make it back
before Christmas, though?

00:00:58.433 --> 00:00:59.267 align:center
I'm going to try.

00:00:59.350 --> 00:01:01.186 align:center
In case you don't make it
back before Christmas,

00:01:01.269 --> 00:01:03.146 align:center
maybe we should have
a really fast Christmas now.

00:01:03.229 --> 00:01:06.608 align:center
-We still have three minutes, right?
-Actually, we're down to one right now.

00:01:06.691 --> 00:01:08.902 align:center
-Oh, fuck, Danny, I'm your Secret Santa!
-Oh!

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Get out the Christmas cookies!
Start singing a Christmas carol!

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-Uh…
-Go!

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Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, "Throw cares away…"

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That's what you're going with?
It's so fast and high.

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…meek and the bold

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-La, la, la, la…
-Ding, dong, ding, dong…

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It's just a couple of days.

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-You're sure you don't want me to come?
-No.

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But I want to be here.

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I promise.

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Okay, I got it.

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It's a sexy gingerbread man calendar.

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And there's one where
he's wearing icing for chaps.

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I love you. Oh, uh…

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Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas…

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-Your car is here.
-Oh.

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Ding, dong, ding, dong
That is their song

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With joyful ring, all caroling

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This song is stressful as shit.

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Ding, dong, ding, dong…

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Dong

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-Holy shit!
-Watch out, Pentatonix!

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You guys!

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Okay, so this cathedral
was the site of the Council of Trent

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during the Protestant Reformation.

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You guys want to hear more about it?

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No need to answer. Your faces betray you.

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Mama?

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I can't come now! I'm with my friends.

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Don't cry.

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I'll come. I'll come!

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Do you mind if I leave the tour early?

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Just my mother's
Christmas tree is tilting.

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She worries it will crush a grandchild.
I have to go pick up my cousin's chainsaw.

00:02:52.380 --> 00:02:54.424 align:center
Now Italian Claude is wielding a chainsaw.

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Okay.

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All right. Um…

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I promise I'll check in later, okay?

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Enjoy your tour.
Love you, bye. Ciao. Ciao!

00:03:02.724 --> 00:03:05.310 align:center
So, you want to go inside
and read all the little plaques?

00:03:05.393 --> 00:03:07.395 align:center
You know what? No.

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I mean, since we've been here,
we've visited three churches

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and walked by five live nativities.

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No, look, another one. Six.

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Wow, Joseph is stacked.

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Hm.

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What if we did
something not religious tonight,

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like a romantic meal?

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Oh, I could definitely eat.

00:03:27.290 --> 00:03:31.544 align:center
Okay, yeah, uh, great.
So, table for three.

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Oh--

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Sorry.

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You guys want to have a romantic dinner.

00:03:38.218 --> 00:03:40.803 align:center
-No, Anne, we can all go.
-No. You know what?

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Yesterday, I promised myself,
today I would be a new woman.

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So,

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first things first, a new walk.

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Okay.

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Wow, wow, wow.

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I thought she said "new walk."

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How wonderful, Claudio!

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You're our savior!

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Eh.

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Hold on, Mama. It's Danny.

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-Hey!
-Hi.

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How's Beverly?

00:04:18.633 --> 00:04:20.385 align:center
Oh, I'm right as rain, baby.

00:04:20.468 --> 00:04:22.387 align:center
She cracked her pelvis
and she needs surgery.

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Oof.

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I may need to stay a little longer.

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I should be there.

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Should I come tonight?

00:04:27.767 --> 00:04:29.602 align:center
No, no, no, it's all under control.

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But the doctor says that
we may need to look into

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a living situation
with more hands-on care.

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Aw, you better not be talking
about putting me in no home.

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People get raped in those.
I saw that on Action News.

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I'm not-- I'm talking about Aunt Pam.

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Pam's on her way.

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-We'll figure out a plan once she's here.
-I'm already here.

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Aunt Pam?

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I'm sorry I'm late.

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I got on the wrong bus
and went to Delaware.

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-Hey.
-Hey.

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-Hi.
-You all right, sugar?

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-I'm all right. How you doing?
-Wait, is that Claude?

00:05:02.677 --> 00:05:05.138 align:center
-Hey, baby.
-Hi.

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Oh my God.
She's shrunk like a sweater in the dryer.

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She can't take care of your mom.

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-I'm getting a flight tonight.
-No, no, no. I've got it all handled.

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Um… I love you.
We'll check in tomorrow, okay?

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I like your wig.

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This is just like
the Olive Garden in Secaucus.

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Think I can take my shoes off here?

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I have seen more
than one person do it there.

00:05:32.165 --> 00:05:34.459 align:center
This is very nice, Jack.
I'm glad we're doing this.

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Me too.

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-Look, I know I've been a bummer.
-No.

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But I kind of had
a breakthrough yesterday.

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Oh, tell me.

00:05:42.925 --> 00:05:47.013 align:center
I have spent so much of this year
trying to pretend I'm fine.

00:05:47.096 --> 00:05:51.017 align:center
But the only way to feel better
is to really admit where you're at.

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Yeah, kind of like
how I decided to start telling my doctor

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the real number of drinks
I have every week.

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It is not zero to two.

00:05:58.232 --> 00:06:03.529 align:center
Right. And where I'm at right now
is my lowest low.

00:06:04.405 --> 00:06:08.701 align:center
I feel like a loser who's failed
at everything he's tried to do this year.

00:06:08.785 --> 00:06:11.371 align:center
-What do you mean? What did you fail at?
-Everything.

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I mean, honoring our friend.
Thanksgiving. I didn't run the marathon.

00:06:15.249 --> 00:06:17.794 align:center
Listen, you tried your best.
And you did honor Nick.

00:06:17.877 --> 00:06:20.505 align:center
Remember you got that website
to name a star after him?

00:06:20.588 --> 00:06:22.965 align:center
That was nice.
I shouldn't have called it a scam.

00:06:23.049 --> 00:06:27.303 align:center
And when I get more ink,
I will print the certificate, okay?

00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:30.098 align:center
Okay.

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Yes, let's decide what we're going to get.
What looks good to you?

00:06:36.104 --> 00:06:38.189 align:center
I don't know.

00:06:43.694 --> 00:06:46.614 align:center
Hey, can we just have,
like, a nice evening?

00:06:47.865 --> 00:06:51.494 align:center
We are. Wait, I mean,
I just said, "I don't know."

00:06:51.577 --> 00:06:53.704 align:center
Right? I haven't even read the secondis.

00:06:53.788 --> 00:06:55.873 align:center
Yeah, but you failed
at everything this year?

00:06:55.957 --> 00:06:59.127 align:center
I mean, honey, you don't
always have to sink to the depths.

00:06:59.210 --> 00:07:03.339 align:center
Well, no, I don't always have to.
But we can't never go there.

00:07:03.423 --> 00:07:05.049 align:center
This year was hard on me too, Jack.

00:07:05.133 --> 00:07:08.344 align:center
But I don't dwell on it.
I just try to keep moving.

00:07:08.428 --> 00:07:10.847 align:center
Wow. Well, you're so strong and cool.

00:07:10.930 --> 00:07:12.849 align:center
-Congratulations.
-Oh, come on.

00:07:12.932 --> 00:07:15.351 align:center
The only thing that
I'm trying to get at here, and I--

00:07:15.435 --> 00:07:17.186 align:center
May I play a song
for the beautiful couple?

00:07:17.270 --> 00:07:19.188 align:center
Yes, please.

00:07:28.781 --> 00:07:30.700 align:center
How are things in Philadelphia?

00:07:30.783 --> 00:07:31.701 align:center
Mama, I don't know.

00:07:31.784 --> 00:07:33.327 align:center
He doesn't want me there.

00:07:33.411 --> 00:07:35.329 align:center
He just wants to decide it all himself.

00:07:35.413 --> 00:07:37.373 align:center
We're back to how we used to be.

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If you think you should go, go.

00:07:40.251 --> 00:07:41.961 align:center
But he told me not to.

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What do I do?

00:07:43.254 --> 00:07:46.090 align:center
No one tells you what to do.

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You are Claude.

00:08:18.539 --> 00:08:21.083 align:center
Hi! Hey! Are you in Italy?

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I am.

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Are you busy?

00:08:24.962 --> 00:08:30.426 align:center
Uh, no, I am just, you know, trying
to decorate for Gino's first Christmas.

00:08:30.510 --> 00:08:34.263 align:center
But I have not really had time yet.

00:08:34.347 --> 00:08:38.226 align:center
His stocking is like a knee sock from when
I was Britney Spears for Halloween.

00:08:38.309 --> 00:08:39.769 align:center
Oh, honey, he's just a baby.

00:08:39.852 --> 00:08:42.813 align:center
You have at least until they turn five
until they remember your fuck-ups.

00:08:43.940 --> 00:08:46.526 align:center
Hey, hon, um, do you remember that

00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:50.196 align:center
duck that I gave Gino
when we were down the Shore?

00:08:50.780 --> 00:08:53.449 align:center
I do, yeah.
He plays with it in the bath sometimes.

00:08:53.533 --> 00:08:57.828 align:center
Did you happen to notice
a phone number on the bottom of it?

00:08:57.912 --> 00:09:00.581 align:center
Yes, I did.

00:09:00.665 --> 00:09:04.669 align:center
Hang on. It's somewhere in here.

00:09:04.752 --> 00:09:08.506 align:center
Uh, but if I can't find it,
can I interest you in this guy?

00:09:10.967 --> 00:09:13.761 align:center
Oh yeah,
he seems like a very generous lover.

00:09:13.844 --> 00:09:16.055 align:center
Ah!

00:09:16.889 --> 00:09:19.100 align:center
I got it.

00:09:19.183 --> 00:09:20.810 align:center
Ooh! Texting you a pic right now.

00:09:22.061 --> 00:09:23.104 align:center
Yeah.

00:09:24.313 --> 00:09:26.774 align:center
So, are you gonna call Mark Brett?

00:09:26.857 --> 00:09:28.359 align:center
Thanks, Ginny.

00:09:36.784 --> 00:09:37.868 align:center
Hello.

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Hi, Mark?

00:09:40.329 --> 00:09:41.956 align:center
It's Anne.

00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:46.586 align:center
We met and had… sex at the Jersey Shore.

00:09:46.669 --> 00:09:51.048 align:center
Mm, I had sex with, like,
30 people at the Jersey Shore, so…

00:09:51.132 --> 00:09:52.091 align:center
Oh, you did.

00:09:52.174 --> 00:09:54.427 align:center
No. No, I didn't.
That was a joke. I'm joking.

00:09:54.510 --> 00:09:55.970 align:center
Oh.

00:09:56.053 --> 00:09:56.929 align:center
That was funny.

00:09:57.013 --> 00:09:59.181 align:center
Hi, Anne. How are you?

00:09:59.265 --> 00:10:01.100 align:center
Oh, I'm good.

00:10:01.183 --> 00:10:04.729 align:center
I'm actually in Italy.

00:10:04.812 --> 00:10:05.938 align:center
No way.

00:10:06.022 --> 00:10:07.565 align:center
Yeah, and I was…

00:10:07.648 --> 00:10:09.859 align:center
I don't know.
I just was thinking about you.

00:10:09.942 --> 00:10:14.780 align:center
Uh, wait, Anne, I feel like I should
tell you that I have a girlfriend now.

00:10:17.825 --> 00:10:19.577 align:center
Good for you.

00:10:20.745 --> 00:10:23.205 align:center
That is not why I was calling.

00:10:23.289 --> 00:10:24.665 align:center
That sounded weird.

00:10:24.749 --> 00:10:28.919 align:center
I was actually calling
to tell you that I have moved to Italy.

00:10:29.003 --> 00:10:30.212 align:center
-Really?
-Yeah.

00:10:30.296 --> 00:10:31.380 align:center
Ha.

00:10:31.464 --> 00:10:33.799 align:center
Yeah, so I'm calling all my contacts
to let them know that.

00:10:33.883 --> 00:10:34.925 align:center
So, that's why I called.

00:10:35.009 --> 00:10:36.552 align:center
Congratulations.

00:10:36.636 --> 00:10:40.723 align:center
Yeah. And I, um, am dating someone too.

00:10:40.806 --> 00:10:44.977 align:center
His name is Gianpiero, and he is mi amore,

00:10:45.061 --> 00:10:46.896 align:center
and that is why I'm calling. So,

00:10:46.979 --> 00:10:48.731 align:center
um, yeah, if you are ever in Italy--

00:10:48.814 --> 00:10:51.859 align:center
Actually, Tori and I were just discussing,
maybe we take a trip in the summer.

00:10:51.942 --> 00:10:54.028 align:center
Great. Cool.

00:10:54.111 --> 00:10:56.447 align:center
I'll be here. You should come visit.

00:10:56.530 --> 00:10:59.033 align:center
Maybe we will. I can't wait.

00:11:01.786 --> 00:11:04.288 align:center
I thought their bread was really good.

00:11:04.372 --> 00:11:07.124 align:center
-Yeah. Yeah, I liked that it was warm.
-Hm.

00:11:07.208 --> 00:11:08.250 align:center
Yeah.

00:11:11.253 --> 00:11:14.006 align:center
Scusi? What's happening here?

00:11:14.090 --> 00:11:16.842 align:center
What'd she say?

00:11:16.926 --> 00:11:18.302 align:center
-"Mara" what?
-"Maratona"?

00:11:18.386 --> 00:11:20.346 align:center
Maybe it's a maritime parade.
That'd be cool.

00:11:20.429 --> 00:11:21.722 align:center
Let me see your phone.

00:11:25.101 --> 00:11:28.104 align:center
Oh my God, Jack.
There is a marathon tomorrow.

00:11:28.187 --> 00:11:29.146 align:center
You should do it.

00:11:29.230 --> 00:11:30.648 align:center
What? No.

00:11:30.731 --> 00:11:32.775 align:center
It's a sign. You have to.

00:11:32.858 --> 00:11:37.154 align:center
No, I haven't trained in like a month.
I didn't pack any running clothes.

00:11:37.238 --> 00:11:39.323 align:center
And I just ate like 60 clams.

00:11:39.407 --> 00:11:41.617 align:center
This is how you turn this year around.

00:11:41.701 --> 00:11:43.828 align:center
Imagine how good
you would feel on the flight home.

00:11:43.911 --> 00:11:45.037 align:center
You would be a new man.

00:11:45.121 --> 00:11:47.415 align:center
-Prego.
-Grazie.

00:11:48.958 --> 00:11:50.334 align:center
Uh--

00:11:50.418 --> 00:11:51.961 align:center
Oh, this is happening.

00:12:02.638 --> 00:12:04.640 align:center
Hey, I look stupid.

00:12:04.723 --> 00:12:06.350 align:center
No, you look Italian.

00:12:06.434 --> 00:12:09.437 align:center
All the people here are Italian.
They look normal.

00:12:09.520 --> 00:12:10.563 align:center
Well, I'm sorry.

00:12:10.646 --> 00:12:13.441 align:center
Claude's running clothes look
a little different on you than on him.

00:12:13.524 --> 00:12:16.902 align:center
I think you look snazzy,
like Jody Watley at the Grammys.

00:12:16.986 --> 00:12:19.071 align:center
Thank you, Anne.

00:12:19.155 --> 00:12:21.031 align:center
It's time for you to line up, okay?

00:12:21.115 --> 00:12:23.200 align:center
I really don't think
I should be doing this.

00:12:23.284 --> 00:12:25.536 align:center
I mean, I haven't even trained
at this altitude.

00:12:25.619 --> 00:12:27.997 align:center
You got this, buddy. You got this.

00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:30.332 align:center
I believe in you.

00:12:30.416 --> 00:12:33.127 align:center
You're gonna be so happy you did this.

00:12:35.463 --> 00:12:36.756 align:center
Hey, Anne.

00:12:36.839 --> 00:12:38.549 align:center
It was nice hearing your voice today.

00:12:38.632 --> 00:12:44.054 align:center
I'm just having a glass of wine here,
or I mean a pint of Guinness,

00:12:44.138 --> 00:12:45.347 align:center
and I am watching boxing.

00:12:45.431 --> 00:12:47.725 align:center
Definitely not Hope Floats.

00:12:47.808 --> 00:12:50.519 align:center
Anyway, I hope
you have a great day in Italy.

00:12:51.061 --> 00:12:54.523 align:center
Send me a pic if you can.
I'd love to see you in your new town.

00:12:54.607 --> 00:12:55.983 align:center
Buongiorno!

00:12:57.776 --> 00:13:01.238 align:center
Hey, um, will you do me a favor
and take a picture of me

00:13:01.322 --> 00:13:04.492 align:center
where I look like I'm having fun
and living a cool life?

00:13:04.575 --> 00:13:07.161 align:center
-Okay.
-Don't judge me. It's for Mark Brett.

00:13:07.244 --> 00:13:09.830 align:center
-Oh! Copy that. Okay.
-Mm-hm.

00:13:09.914 --> 00:13:10.915 align:center
Real quick.

00:13:11.707 --> 00:13:12.958 align:center
So, smile.

00:13:13.042 --> 00:13:14.710 align:center
-Hold on.
-Okay.

00:13:16.754 --> 00:13:20.424 align:center
Okay. There's something
a little awkward about your pose.

00:13:20.508 --> 00:13:23.385 align:center
Like, your uterus is falling out.

00:13:24.929 --> 00:13:28.349 align:center
Try that TikTok thing
where you skip toward the camera.

00:13:28.432 --> 00:13:30.518 align:center
-Back up a little bit.
-Okay.

00:13:32.394 --> 00:13:33.312 align:center
-Great.
-Here?

00:13:33.395 --> 00:13:34.814 align:center
Yeah, and skip.

00:13:36.482 --> 00:13:37.566 align:center
Yeah.

00:13:37.650 --> 00:13:39.026 align:center
And smile.

00:13:40.528 --> 00:13:41.820 align:center
Laugh.

00:13:44.657 --> 00:13:46.992 align:center
-Ah! Okay, you got it.
-Let me see.

00:13:47.743 --> 00:13:48.828 align:center
Where is he?

00:13:58.170 --> 00:13:59.713 align:center
Oof.

00:14:09.765 --> 00:14:11.517 align:center
-Go Jack!
-Go Jack!

00:14:33.831 --> 00:14:35.374 align:center
Bravo!

00:14:37.126 --> 00:14:38.252 align:center
Yay, Jack!

00:14:38.335 --> 00:14:39.837 align:center
You're doing great!

00:14:42.756 --> 00:14:45.384 align:center
I'm winded, but I think I can do it.

00:14:48.554 --> 00:14:50.723 align:center
I'm at mile 13. I'm already halfway there.

00:14:53.642 --> 00:14:57.229 align:center
Honey, that's kilometers.
You got like 20 miles left.

00:14:57.313 --> 00:14:58.647 align:center
No.

00:14:58.731 --> 00:15:00.524 align:center
Oh no, fuck. No, no, no.

00:15:00.608 --> 00:15:02.151 align:center
You can do it!

00:15:02.693 --> 00:15:04.153 align:center
Oh no, no, no.

00:15:04.653 --> 00:15:07.948 align:center
-You've got this. You've got this.
-Oh fuck. Oh God.

00:15:08.032 --> 00:15:11.952 align:center
Yes. You can do it. You're my Superman!

00:15:20.419 --> 00:15:22.379 align:center
Oh, thank you.

00:15:26.925 --> 00:15:28.510 align:center
Uh… Scusi.

00:15:28.594 --> 00:15:30.846 align:center
-Would you take a picture?
-Sure.

00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:33.599 align:center
It's okay I take a picture?

00:15:33.682 --> 00:15:34.808 align:center
Thank you. Could I…

00:15:34.892 --> 00:15:36.685 align:center
Do you mind? Thank you.

00:15:44.944 --> 00:15:47.029 align:center
Thanks. I'm so silly. Thank you.

00:16:34.910 --> 00:16:35.953 align:center
Okay.

00:16:46.088 --> 00:16:47.006 align:center
Hey.

00:16:47.589 --> 00:16:50.092 align:center
Hey. You didn't see Jack run by, did you?

00:16:50.175 --> 00:16:51.010 align:center
No.

00:16:51.635 --> 00:16:54.012 align:center
But I gotta be honest,
I was doing a photo shoot.

00:16:54.722 --> 00:16:55.723 align:center
All right.

00:16:56.974 --> 00:16:59.727 align:center
He should have been by here
like half an hour ago.

00:17:00.394 --> 00:17:01.603 align:center
Shit.

00:17:02.104 --> 00:17:03.188 align:center
Hold that.

00:17:07.067 --> 00:17:08.110 align:center
Excuse me.

00:17:08.193 --> 00:17:09.361 align:center
Oh God.

00:17:09.862 --> 00:17:12.406 align:center
Oh! Jack, are you okay?

00:17:12.489 --> 00:17:15.868 align:center
I can't do it, Kate.
I think my body is shutting down.

00:17:15.951 --> 00:17:18.328 align:center
No, come on,
you're so close to the finish line.

00:17:18.412 --> 00:17:21.707 align:center
-You only have like three miles left.
-It doesn't matter. I am done.

00:17:21.790 --> 00:17:25.252 align:center
No. No, I am sorry. If you stop,
you are gonna regret this forever.

00:17:25.335 --> 00:17:27.212 align:center
As your wife, I cannot let you quit.

00:17:27.296 --> 00:17:29.214 align:center
No, I have to, all right?

00:17:29.298 --> 00:17:31.091 align:center
You want me to cross that finish line?

00:17:31.175 --> 00:17:33.343 align:center
You're gonna have to
drive me there in a hearse.

00:17:36.305 --> 00:17:38.057 align:center
Okay, come on. I'll run it with you.

00:17:38.140 --> 00:17:40.017 align:center
But you're being insane.

00:17:40.100 --> 00:17:43.312 align:center
Well, you're gonna have to run
if you wanna tell me what a bitch I am.

00:17:43.395 --> 00:17:44.605 align:center
Come on.

00:17:44.688 --> 00:17:45.856 align:center
Let's go, come on.

00:17:47.191 --> 00:17:48.776 align:center
Yeah.

00:17:51.153 --> 00:17:53.739 align:center
Yes. You can do it.

00:17:55.866 --> 00:17:57.618 align:center
We got this!

00:18:02.081 --> 00:18:03.957 align:center
Oh! Okay.

00:18:04.625 --> 00:18:06.627 align:center
Shit.

00:18:10.130 --> 00:18:12.424 align:center
Ugh.

00:18:13.634 --> 00:18:14.718 align:center
Danny.

00:18:17.346 --> 00:18:21.558 align:center
I know I told you not to come,
but I'm so glad that you're here.

00:18:21.642 --> 00:18:22.768 align:center
Hey.

00:18:26.063 --> 00:18:26.980 align:center
How's your mother?

00:18:27.564 --> 00:18:30.776 align:center
She's okay, but, uh, we have to talk.

00:18:30.859 --> 00:18:32.945 align:center
Yeah, I understand.

00:18:36.115 --> 00:18:38.534 align:center
I know this isn't what we planned, but…

00:18:39.493 --> 00:18:40.828 align:center
my mom needs us.

00:18:41.453 --> 00:18:42.871 align:center
So…

00:18:44.748 --> 00:18:46.667 align:center
Can she come live with us in Italy?

00:18:47.292 --> 00:18:48.919 align:center
What, really?

00:18:49.002 --> 00:18:49.837 align:center
Yeah.

00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:53.340 align:center
-You will bring her to Italy?
-Of course, that's our home now.

00:18:55.342 --> 00:18:56.510 align:center
Is she excited?

00:18:57.177 --> 00:18:58.595 align:center
Well…

00:18:58.679 --> 00:19:02.015 align:center
Is that Claude? Tell him I'm not going.

00:19:03.892 --> 00:19:05.978 align:center
I'm-- I'm working on it.

00:19:13.861 --> 00:19:15.696 align:center
Do I look like "I Love Lucy"?

00:19:15.779 --> 00:19:17.406 align:center
Oh, very "Lucy."

00:19:21.159 --> 00:19:22.828 align:center
You want to buy some wine?

00:19:23.620 --> 00:19:25.205 align:center
Oh. Um…

00:19:26.665 --> 00:19:27.958 align:center
-Okay.
-Mm?

00:19:36.049 --> 00:19:37.843 align:center
-Hey.
-Hey, Anne.

00:19:37.926 --> 00:19:43.265 align:center
Listen, I know that I encouraged it,
but I think this has gone too far.

00:19:43.348 --> 00:19:44.183 align:center
What?

00:19:44.683 --> 00:19:46.351 align:center
We need to stop texting.

00:19:47.978 --> 00:19:51.106 align:center
-Sorry, I thought we were just having fun.
-We were, and I just…

00:19:51.732 --> 00:19:53.442 align:center
Listen, I…

00:19:53.525 --> 00:19:56.195 align:center
After the Shore,
I was really hoping that you'd call,

00:19:56.278 --> 00:19:58.155 align:center
and when you didn't,

00:19:58.238 --> 00:19:59.990 align:center
I moved on.

00:20:00.073 --> 00:20:02.075 align:center
And I am certainly
not trying to shame you,

00:20:02.159 --> 00:20:07.164 align:center
and I was definitely flirting too,
but when you sent me that photo

00:20:07.831 --> 00:20:08.916 align:center
of your vagina,

00:20:08.999 --> 00:20:10.417 align:center
I thought that crossed a line.

00:20:10.500 --> 00:20:11.752 align:center
What?

00:20:11.835 --> 00:20:16.423 align:center
And I think I would be remiss if I didn't,
you know, say something before,

00:20:16.506 --> 00:20:18.175 align:center
you know, things went any further.

00:20:18.258 --> 00:20:20.010 align:center
That's my vagina.

00:20:20.093 --> 00:20:23.013 align:center
-And I don't know, I just…
-Ew.

00:20:23.096 --> 00:20:24.223 align:center
Hello? Are you there?

00:20:24.306 --> 00:20:27.517 align:center
Yes, I am.
Listen, this is a huge misunderstanding.

00:20:27.601 --> 00:20:30.354 align:center
Now, would I have loved
to receive that photo in September?

00:20:30.437 --> 00:20:31.772 align:center
Yes, I would have.

00:20:31.855 --> 00:20:33.774 align:center
I just-- I think we should shut this down

00:20:33.857 --> 00:20:38.820 align:center
before it goes any further,
both for Tori and Gianpiero's sakes.

00:20:39.363 --> 00:20:40.364 align:center
Yeah.

00:20:41.782 --> 00:20:43.158 align:center
Yeah, I totally agree.

00:20:43.242 --> 00:20:46.119 align:center
But it sure looks like you're living
a wonderful life there, Anne,

00:20:46.203 --> 00:20:47.996 align:center
and I'm really happy for you.

00:20:49.498 --> 00:20:50.415 align:center
Bye.

00:20:50.499 --> 00:20:51.500 align:center
Yeah.

00:21:00.634 --> 00:21:01.927 align:center
Yeah.

00:21:02.010 --> 00:21:04.137 align:center
Eduardo, it has to be a motorized lift.

00:21:04.846 --> 00:21:07.391 align:center
Yes, I know how old the house is.

00:21:07.474 --> 00:21:11.603 align:center
The internet says that if you take me
to Italy, that's human trafficking.

00:21:11.687 --> 00:21:13.355 align:center
Uh-huh. Sure is.

00:21:13.438 --> 00:21:14.940 align:center
You can't live alone anymore.

00:21:15.023 --> 00:21:16.817 align:center
I'll move in with her.

00:21:18.068 --> 00:21:19.486 align:center
-There you go.
-No.

00:21:19.569 --> 00:21:22.864 align:center
Mom, you're coming to Italy.
It's just what has to happen.

00:21:22.948 --> 00:21:24.283 align:center
-Danny…
-Okay, okay.

00:21:24.366 --> 00:21:26.368 align:center
Eduardo, if you can't do it,

00:21:26.451 --> 00:21:30.038 align:center
I'll just have to find another contractor
who can, okay? Ciao. Ha!

00:21:30.664 --> 00:21:32.874 align:center
Eduardo thinks that
he can't install the lift

00:21:32.958 --> 00:21:35.293 align:center
because the house is 400 years old
and it may collapse.

00:21:35.377 --> 00:21:37.045 align:center
It's fine, we'll just
buy a different house.

00:21:37.129 --> 00:21:38.672 align:center
-What?
-Here's the thing.

00:21:38.755 --> 00:21:40.340 align:center
I'm not gonna go.

00:21:40.424 --> 00:21:41.800 align:center
I don't trust the hairdresser.

00:21:41.883 --> 00:21:43.385 align:center
Where would my bank be?

00:21:43.468 --> 00:21:47.180 align:center
Bev, brace yourself.
There's no Wawa in Italy.

00:21:48.265 --> 00:21:51.059 align:center
Then there's no Beverly in Italy.

00:21:51.643 --> 00:21:54.938 align:center
-I don't blame you, girl.
-Mom, stop trying to die.

00:21:55.022 --> 00:21:57.858 align:center
-Hey, I don't think this--
-Claude, I'm handling it.

00:21:59.109 --> 00:22:00.068 align:center
Okay.

00:22:00.986 --> 00:22:02.571 align:center
I'm gonna get some air.

00:22:03.405 --> 00:22:05.073 align:center
Open your eyes.

00:22:05.157 --> 00:22:08.452 align:center
You see me. And you, stop egging her on.

00:22:08.535 --> 00:22:10.203 align:center
What did I do?

00:22:11.913 --> 00:22:14.416 align:center
You got this, come on, you got this.
You got this.

00:22:14.499 --> 00:22:15.959 align:center
Hey, please, let's just stop.

00:22:16.043 --> 00:22:17.669 align:center
No, no, come on, Jack, you need this.

00:22:17.753 --> 00:22:20.630 align:center
No, I don't.
I don't need this. You need this.

00:22:20.714 --> 00:22:22.174 align:center
This is your bullshit.

00:22:22.257 --> 00:22:25.427 align:center
No, it's not.
I'm helping you deal with your feelings.

00:22:25.510 --> 00:22:29.556 align:center
No, I was trying to deal with my feelings
by sharing them with my wife.

00:22:29.639 --> 00:22:32.726 align:center
And then you asked
a violinist to play over them.

00:22:33.685 --> 00:22:35.312 align:center
How are we supposed to connect, huh?

00:22:35.395 --> 00:22:36.897 align:center
I don't know. Just have fun.

00:22:36.980 --> 00:22:39.358 align:center
Go to the movies
and pre-order food on AMC Stubs.

00:22:39.441 --> 00:22:41.693 align:center
But that's not a marriage, all right?

00:22:41.777 --> 00:22:45.655 align:center
Why are you so afraid of the depths, Kate?
What do you got lurking down there?

00:22:45.739 --> 00:22:48.658 align:center
-Nothing is lurking.
-Oh, something's lurking, all right?

00:22:48.742 --> 00:22:50.869 align:center
You wouldn't be so obsessed
with trying to fix me

00:22:50.952 --> 00:22:53.246 align:center
if there wasn't
something eating you up too.

00:22:53.330 --> 00:22:54.414 align:center
So what is it?

00:22:54.498 --> 00:22:58.251 align:center
I don't… Who knows?
Maybe I'm sad the vacation's almost over.

00:22:58.335 --> 00:23:01.046 align:center
Come on. Come on.

00:23:01.129 --> 00:23:03.256 align:center
Yes, good, keep going.

00:23:03.340 --> 00:23:06.009 align:center
Yeah, you keep going too.

00:23:06.093 --> 00:23:09.930 align:center
Well, maybe I'm sad
that our child has grown

00:23:10.013 --> 00:23:12.641 align:center
and left the house,
and I don't have a purpose.

00:23:12.724 --> 00:23:13.892 align:center
Yeah, and?

00:23:13.975 --> 00:23:17.938 align:center
And I don't wanna do this, Jack.
I'm not like you. I don't like wallowing.

00:23:18.021 --> 00:23:20.732 align:center
What? It's not wallowing, it's sharing.

00:23:21.316 --> 00:23:23.402 align:center
It's sharing and wallowing.

00:23:23.485 --> 00:23:26.488 align:center
And when you do it,
I feel like I have to use all of my energy

00:23:26.571 --> 00:23:27.948 align:center
to keep us both above water.

00:23:28.031 --> 00:23:29.699 align:center
Why? You don't have to do that.

00:23:29.783 --> 00:23:34.329 align:center
Because if I also say every dark,
horrible thing that I am feeling,

00:23:34.413 --> 00:23:36.039 align:center
we will go down.

00:23:36.123 --> 00:23:39.292 align:center
If I'm not a buoy,
we are gonna wind up on the ocean floor.

00:23:39.376 --> 00:23:42.838 align:center
Look, I can be a buoy too, all right?
Just give me a chance.

00:23:43.422 --> 00:23:45.799 align:center
Fine, if you keep running.

00:23:50.554 --> 00:23:52.389 align:center
Come on, spill it.

00:23:52.931 --> 00:23:54.099 align:center
Okay, fine.

00:23:54.182 --> 00:23:58.145 align:center
I am upset about many things, all right?

00:23:58.228 --> 00:24:02.023 align:center
I'm at the pinnacle of a career
that I worked my whole life for,

00:24:02.107 --> 00:24:03.984 align:center
and it's only okay.

00:24:04.067 --> 00:24:06.486 align:center
And my best friend moved away.

00:24:06.570 --> 00:24:09.072 align:center
And our other friend died.

00:24:09.156 --> 00:24:12.033 align:center
And, oh, by the way,
the world is real dark.

00:24:12.826 --> 00:24:17.414 align:center
Every news story puts my stomach in knots.
And my stomach was already in knots

00:24:17.497 --> 00:24:20.000 align:center
because my body
doesn't work very good anymore.

00:24:21.334 --> 00:24:24.629 align:center
And I worry that you and I
are just gonna get weirder and weirder

00:24:24.713 --> 00:24:28.592 align:center
and keep pulling apart
until we're living like strangers.

00:24:29.384 --> 00:24:32.345 align:center
And all the neighborhood kids
are gonna skip our house on Halloween

00:24:32.429 --> 00:24:34.222 align:center
because we're too creepy.

00:24:35.140 --> 00:24:39.019 align:center
And sometimes,
honestly, I'm afraid to die.

00:24:39.102 --> 00:24:42.063 align:center
And other times,
I'm like, "It seems nice."

00:24:42.147 --> 00:24:46.234 align:center
Like, sure, the big sleep.
All right, let's fucking do it.

00:24:46.318 --> 00:24:47.986 align:center
-Kate. Kate!
-What?

00:24:48.069 --> 00:24:49.237 align:center
Look.

00:24:49.321 --> 00:24:51.656 align:center
We ran a marathon.

00:24:51.740 --> 00:24:53.325 align:center
Oh my God!

00:25:08.882 --> 00:25:11.468 align:center
-Hey.
-Hi, you. Oh my gosh.

00:25:11.551 --> 00:25:14.262 align:center
I just put Gino down for a nap.
I saw the photos on the family iCloud.

00:25:14.346 --> 00:25:18.391 align:center
Are you having, like,
the most insanely amazing time?

00:25:18.475 --> 00:25:20.685 align:center
Ginny, those pictures are lies.

00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:24.439 align:center
Today was a turd bucket, and it ended
with me sending Mark a vag pic.

00:25:24.523 --> 00:25:28.527 align:center
Uh, yes, I actually did see that.
I just-- I thought it was European.

00:25:28.610 --> 00:25:33.031 align:center
No. It was just old underwear
with bad elastic.

00:25:33.865 --> 00:25:35.617 align:center
You sound a little sad.

00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:37.827 align:center
I used to know who I was.

00:25:38.620 --> 00:25:44.042 align:center
Like, in my 20s, I was this wild creature
just running around the East Village, and…

00:25:44.543 --> 00:25:47.003 align:center
Then I had Lila, and I was a mom, and…

00:25:47.587 --> 00:25:51.633 align:center
Now I'm just… …I'm floundering.

00:25:51.716 --> 00:25:55.887 align:center
Okay, that's not-- Yeah,
that's not the Anne that I saw this year.

00:25:55.971 --> 00:25:58.181 align:center
The Anne I saw saved my literal life.

00:25:58.265 --> 00:26:01.685 align:center
She was capable and confident, and…

00:26:03.645 --> 00:26:06.106 align:center
She was my family
when she definitely did not have to be.

00:26:07.065 --> 00:26:09.276 align:center
Those photos aren't lies, Anne.

00:26:10.235 --> 00:26:11.695 align:center
Those photos are you.

00:26:13.488 --> 00:26:17.409 align:center
Who cares about stupid Mark Brett?

00:26:17.492 --> 00:26:19.911 align:center
You can still live that way for yourself.

00:26:20.495 --> 00:26:22.664 align:center
You're still a wild creature.

00:26:28.044 --> 00:26:29.921 align:center
Mom.

00:26:30.005 --> 00:26:31.798 align:center
I'm begging you.

00:26:31.881 --> 00:26:34.009 align:center
Please come to Italy.

00:26:34.092 --> 00:26:36.011 align:center
Honey,

00:26:36.761 --> 00:26:39.806 align:center
I lived my whole life in Philadelphia.

00:26:40.348 --> 00:26:42.267 align:center
But that's where we live now.

00:26:43.435 --> 00:26:44.602 align:center
And Claude,

00:26:45.478 --> 00:26:49.357 align:center
our whole marriage,
has taken good care of me.

00:26:49.441 --> 00:26:52.902 align:center
Gone along with every
stupid idea I've ever had.

00:26:52.986 --> 00:26:56.531 align:center
That man loves me,
even though sometimes I don't deserve it.

00:26:58.867 --> 00:27:00.952 align:center
Do you remember
what I was like before I met him?

00:27:01.036 --> 00:27:02.871 align:center
I sure do. You were a little asshole.

00:27:02.954 --> 00:27:04.748 align:center
That's right.

00:27:05.749 --> 00:27:08.209 align:center
He saved me.

00:27:08.293 --> 00:27:11.463 align:center
Oh, baby, please, don't get upset.

00:27:13.298 --> 00:27:16.051 align:center
It's just, Italy's the only thing
he's ever asked for.

00:27:16.968 --> 00:27:18.386 align:center
And he's so happy.

00:27:22.182 --> 00:27:23.266 align:center
Please.

00:27:24.225 --> 00:27:25.935 align:center
Mom, please.

00:27:26.436 --> 00:27:29.606 align:center
Honey, I don't belong in Europe.

00:27:32.901 --> 00:27:34.736 align:center
But there's a nursing home

00:27:36.196 --> 00:27:38.156 align:center
five minutes from Pam.

00:27:38.239 --> 00:27:39.157 align:center
I can go there.

00:27:40.033 --> 00:27:40.992 align:center
What? No.

00:27:41.076 --> 00:27:43.912 align:center
No, no, no,
my girlfriend, Gayle, she lives there.

00:27:43.995 --> 00:27:46.373 align:center
She said it's a nice place.
They got good pie.

00:27:46.456 --> 00:27:48.750 align:center
What about Action News?

00:27:49.334 --> 00:27:52.337 align:center
Mm. Well, it might not
have been Action News.

00:27:52.420 --> 00:27:54.923 align:center
It might've been SVU
or something like that.

00:27:55.006 --> 00:27:57.967 align:center
I'll be fine, baby, don't worry about it.

00:27:59.177 --> 00:28:01.930 align:center
Okay, here's what is going to happen.

00:28:02.013 --> 00:28:05.392 align:center
Beverly, you will stay in your house,
but you will move to the first floor.

00:28:05.475 --> 00:28:07.602 align:center
-Danny and I will take the second floor.
-What?

00:28:07.686 --> 00:28:10.605 align:center
Yep. We're gonna move here
and take care of your mother.

00:28:10.688 --> 00:28:14.067 align:center
-No.
-I am Claude, and you will do as I say.

00:28:18.154 --> 00:28:19.447 align:center
Sounds good?

00:28:21.408 --> 00:28:23.243 align:center
Dude, we ran a marathon.

00:28:23.326 --> 00:28:26.204 align:center
-Well…
-I'm sorry if I got a little dark.

00:28:26.830 --> 00:28:29.207 align:center
But I'm better now. I feel better.

00:28:29.290 --> 00:28:32.001 align:center
I'm okay with dark. I want all of it.

00:28:33.169 --> 00:28:35.547 align:center
So, when you said
you're not afraid of death…

00:28:35.630 --> 00:28:37.257 align:center
Oh no, I am. I am, yeah.

00:28:37.340 --> 00:28:39.426 align:center
Especially my car
being submerged in water.

00:28:39.509 --> 00:28:40.677 align:center
I'm very afraid of that.

00:28:40.760 --> 00:28:42.804 align:center
You know, we have the same fear.

00:28:42.887 --> 00:28:43.888 align:center
Car being submerged?

00:28:43.972 --> 00:28:46.933 align:center
You know, there's this hammer that
I keep getting advertised on Instagram.

00:28:47.016 --> 00:28:50.603 align:center
No. That we'll pull away from each other,
like, the older and weirder we get.

00:28:51.104 --> 00:28:53.565 align:center
You know, when we were freeballing,
it was awful.

00:28:54.983 --> 00:28:57.694 align:center
We just gotta remember
to move towards each other, right?

00:28:58.278 --> 00:29:00.405 align:center
Because otherwise we go insane.

00:29:01.698 --> 00:29:02.824 align:center
I love you.

00:29:03.825 --> 00:29:05.076 align:center
I love you too.

00:29:12.584 --> 00:29:13.460 align:center
Ooh.

00:29:25.847 --> 00:29:28.475 align:center
-Merry Christmas!
-Merry Christmas!

00:29:28.558 --> 00:29:30.268 align:center
What are you guys doing?

00:29:30.351 --> 00:29:34.022 align:center
Danny made us fantastic cocktails,
but the nurse won't let Beverly have any.

00:29:34.105 --> 00:29:36.524 align:center
Yeah, tightass took my nog.

00:29:36.608 --> 00:29:38.401 align:center
Well, we're all
flying home tomorrow, Beverly.

00:29:38.485 --> 00:29:40.069 align:center
We'll sneak you in some rum balls.

00:29:40.153 --> 00:29:42.030 align:center
Thank you, that's exactly what she needs.

00:29:42.113 --> 00:29:43.823 align:center
Yes, I do.

00:29:43.907 --> 00:29:49.162 align:center
Um, actually, I should
probably tell you all something.

00:29:49.245 --> 00:29:50.163 align:center
Um…

00:29:50.914 --> 00:29:53.500 align:center
I am not flying home tomorrow.

00:29:54.209 --> 00:29:55.752 align:center
I am staying.

00:29:56.878 --> 00:29:59.339 align:center
Oh my God, Anne! You are?

00:29:59.422 --> 00:30:00.507 align:center
For how long?

00:30:00.590 --> 00:30:02.509 align:center
I don't know. Danny and Claude

00:30:02.592 --> 00:30:07.430 align:center
said that I could house sit for a while,
and I'm just craving a change of scenery.

00:30:07.514 --> 00:30:09.390 align:center
Is this Anne 2.0?

00:30:09.474 --> 00:30:13.353 align:center
No, I think this is… Anne Classic.

00:30:13.436 --> 00:30:14.479 align:center
-All right, girl.
-Yeah.

00:30:14.562 --> 00:30:15.730 align:center
Take your journey.

00:30:15.813 --> 00:30:17.941 align:center
We love Anne Classic. Ah!

00:30:24.489 --> 00:30:25.990 align:center
Oh, I can't.

00:30:26.491 --> 00:30:27.617 align:center
Have safe travels.

00:30:27.700 --> 00:30:29.744 align:center
-Yeah.
-Okay.

00:30:31.913 --> 00:30:33.748 align:center
All right, Annie. Good luck.

00:30:33.831 --> 00:30:35.959 align:center
Let us know of any exciting updates.

00:30:36.042 --> 00:30:39.003 align:center
Oh yeah, I'm sure there will be tons.

00:30:43.466 --> 00:30:45.885 align:center
Mi scusi.

00:30:45.969 --> 00:30:48.304 align:center
Lei è Anne Pagano?

00:30:48.388 --> 00:30:50.390 align:center
Sì, ma parlo solo in ingelse.

00:30:52.433 --> 00:30:54.769 align:center
Oh, that's perfect. That is perfect.

00:30:54.852 --> 00:30:58.356 align:center
I live just over the way,
and received quite a few packages for you,

00:30:58.439 --> 00:30:59.983 align:center
and I opened one before I saw the name,

00:31:00.066 --> 00:31:03.361 align:center
and I regret to say
I tried on a pair of your trousers.

00:31:03.861 --> 00:31:04.737 align:center
And they fit.

00:31:04.821 --> 00:31:07.699 align:center
I'm sorry,
I must have put the wrong address.

00:31:07.782 --> 00:31:09.784 align:center
I have terrible executive functioning.

00:31:09.868 --> 00:31:11.578 align:center
Sorry. Uh, my name is Anne.

00:31:12.161 --> 00:31:13.997 align:center
Lovely to meet you. I'm Gianpiero.

00:31:20.628 --> 00:31:22.171 align:center
-Do you want to come and…
-Yeah.

00:31:22.255 --> 00:31:24.132 align:center
Yeah? Come and see what you got.

00:31:26.551 --> 00:31:29.012 align:center
I mean, did they look good on you?
You could keep them if they…

00:31:29.095 --> 00:31:30.597 align:center
They probably look better on you.

00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:32.140 align:center
Look, be honest. Tell me.

00:31:32.223 --> 00:31:34.225 align:center
I'll show you,
and you can just be absolutely honest.

00:31:34.309 --> 00:31:36.102 align:center
We'll do a fashion show.
n just be absolutely honest.

