Anne?
Oh my God, Danny!
-What are you doing here? -Ah!
Just a little solo getaway.
Aw!
Oh! Look at your hair. It's so chic.
-Pfft! You look beautiful. -Oh!
Oh, I bought resort wear. I feel like Mrs. Roper.
-No. -With a drop of Episcopal priest.
So, are-- Are you-- Is everybody…
-Oh, Claude's at the pool. -Ah.
We actually snuck in.
This hotel is much nicer than the place we're staying at.
-Aw. -And…
we're also here with Kate and Jack and…
Nick.
-Who's not alone. -Yeah, no, I know.
I see all his pictures. We're still on the family iCloud.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah. At first, I thought he was just doing, like,
pervert screen grabs of an Instagram lady,
but then he started being in the photos with her, so…
-I'll ask him to take them down. -No, no. Pfft.
No, it's actually been funny.
Yeah, Lila and I have been texting about them.
Yeah, it turns out Lila is a funny texter.
Yeah. Did you know the word "fuckery"?
I didn't. I like it as a gerund.
Danny… I did know you guys were here.
And I think I thought I was coming to confront you all,
but then I got here, and I felt insane.
So… I'm just gonna hide in my room until my flight on Monday.
Please, come have a glass of wine with Claude and me by the pool.
-Come on! Just one glass. -Listen…
I don't want to intrude.
No, thank you.
You have every right to be here.
You are on a solo vacation, which is incredibly chic.
You don't need to hide.
You need to get yourself a massage, go shopping, have yourself an adventure,
spend all his money.
Okay, maybe.
Yeah.
Girl, what you got on under this caftan?
Pajamas and a sweatshirt.
Oh, hi. Are you feeling okay?
-Yeah. -I texted you.
I didn't have my phone with me.
Oh.
Oh, wow. You texted…
a few times.
No, I'm fine. Feeling fine.
I saw Anne up at the patio.
Our Anne?
She flew down here to confront us.
Nick is still on his family's iCloud.
So she saw all the photos?
Ginny in the bikini? Me when I sat on that really big chair?
-Yep. -Fuck.
Poor Anne.
-Are you gonna tell Kate? -No. She doesn't want anyone to know.
Well, I appreciate you telling me.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I'm-- I'm just… feeling bad for Anne.
Babe, did my lobster roll not arrive?
It did, but it had too much butter in it.
I ordered you a portabello hot dog.
I just love you can make anything out of anything now.
Oh, my fucking God.
Hey, can you tell if my hair part got sunburned?
It's pretty crispy.
Am I crazy, or was Nick kind of, like, coming at our marriage?
Right? Was he trying to imply that we're unhappy?
Yeah, like, sorry, you've been dating Yoga Barbie for ten seconds,
now you're the king of relationships.
-Yeah. -Hey, guys.
-Hey. -Hey!
How you doing, Tiny Tim?
Um, about earlier.
I hope I didn't insult either of you guys.
What?
-No, we'd never think that. -Why are you so crazy?
Really? You sure?
-Pfft! -Nick. Loco.
Okay, good. Because you know I love you guys.
Yeah, we love you too.
I think it was just…
It was a combination of the Scotch and the extra strength Tylenol.
I was being protective of Ginny.
-Yeah. -I really like her.
And I want her to like my friends. And me. Mostly me.
Well, she obviously likes you.
Yeah, she thinks you're really cool.
She's bought you a cane from the pharmacy.
Just, uh, you know, be nice to her, okay?
Of course.
The fuck? I mean, we're… we're being nice to her, right?
No, I haven't. I mean, I haven't asked her one thing about herself.
Like, I haven't even made eye contact with her since the penis.
Okay.
I guess we can try to make more of an effort.
-Hey, cool if I set up here? -Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
Just finishing up a light circuit. Bird dogs, mostly.
Um, I saw that the lodge has a board game closet.
Maybe after dinner we could get mojito drunk and play a little Monopoly.
-Bankrupt the shit out of Danny. -Oh, heck yes.
-Yeah, I love a game night. -Okay.
Hey, gals.
-Mm! -Oh.
I know. I just don't want to burn my head more.
No, hey. That's a cool hat.
-Really? -Yeah, yeah, seriously.
It's very on trend, bucket hats.
They're kind of Bushwick, Dimes Square chic.
You hear that? Very Times Square.
-Oh, I-I said Dimes Square. -Not what she said.
Now you're gonna lie on your stomach, okay?
With your hands by your shoulders, just like this.
And you're gonna pop up to your feet,
just like this, okay?
And… up.
Excellent. Great job, ladies. Now let's try again.
Let's see if we can do it without stepping on the ocean.
Oh, pfft, okay. Sorry, I'm not good at this.
Here, watch. Um…
May I?
Yes. Okay.
-Okay. So… -You may.
Now square your shoulders.
Okay, put your weight on your dominant leg, okay?
Just relax and have fun.
-Okay. -Okay?
-Yeah. -You got it. Come on.
Let's try it one more time.
-Okay. Go down? Yep. -Yep.
Okay, and… up.
-Pop! -There you go. See?
You're a natural, chica fresa.
Sorry, chica what?
Fresa.
Your shirt.
Oh, fresa means strawberries. Yeah.
-Yes. -I knew that.
They're, uh, kind of a little bit my thing.
Mm-hmm.
Back home I have strawberry pillows and strawberry earrings and it's…
it's… it's stupid.
No. Oh, no. It's--
It's cute, like you.
Chica fresa.
Okay, ladies, uh, let's try one more time.
Remember, balance it out. Just stay low and have fun. Just relax.
Yeah.
Ooh, do they have Clue?
'Cause your boy gots to be Colonel Mustard.
Uh, no, they don't have Clue.
The only game that's not water damaged
is Canada's top adult resource management game,
Number Color.
-Ooh. -Oh!
-Hey. -Hi, guys.
Hey!
How was your… wherever you went?
Stunning.
We may go back tomorrow. What happened to your foot?
Oh, it's nothing.
It's just-- I was, like, free soloing this rock face
and things got a little gnarly.
-He stepped on a seashell and cried. -It was a sea urchin.
All right, sit down. We're learning a new game.
-Oh! What? -Okay, what is it?
Okay. "Object: to collect the most color cards
before your opponent can guess
what number cards are in your secret color bank."
What?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…
-Why are you going eight? -Because the card says move eight.
Yes, but the card is yellow, so per the rules, Nick,
that means go five.
-No, it can't be that. -Yeah.
It doesn't matter. Danny, is it your turn, or are you still stuck in negative purple?
I have a question. I hate this.
No, you guys, it took so long to deal everybody's cards.
I really think it's about to turn fun.
Kate, you know I love to have fun, but this ain't the road to it.
Okay, Ginny, you're young and cool. Like, what can we do? Where can we go?
Oh, no-- I like the game.
No, no, you don't.
Okay! Okay. I…
…heard the paddle guy at the rental place
say there's gonna be a DJ at the beach bar tonight.
Ooh! We're going out!
-Yeah? -No, I already brushed my teeth.
What?
No, but I'm wearing my sad girl cult leader pants.
We're going out.
Old motherfuckers, we're going out!
We're going out!
Thank you.
I have gum, cash, ID.
Oh, don't forget to--
Pills. I remembered all on my own.
Oh.
-Hello? -Is this a bad time? Are you alone?
Oh, it's never a bad time for you. How's the solo vacation coming?
Actually, things are looking up. That's kind of why I'm calling.
Would it be ethical to sleep with my surf instructor?
Okay, Mrs. Roper after dark.
I know. I already had a cocktail in my room.
But really, would it seem like fun and carefree
or just like trashy and desperate?
Uh, it would seem like you're fucking.
Huh.
That does sound good.
Okay, look, I'm hanging up now, all right? I'm glad you got out of your room.
-Thanks, Danny. -Bye, baby.
Carlos. Hi. Anne.
-Anne! -Chica fresa.
So, how's your night going?
Good, just-- Just having a drink.
Oh.
Actually, I just got something at the gift shop
that I think you're gonna get a real kick out of.
Oh, okay.
They wrap it for the airport.
Yeah.
Yeah, I-I can see. I guess, uh…
You…
are gonna love it.
Promise. Worth the wait.
-It's okay. -Yeah.
Hold that thought.
It's a fun little strawberry guy.
Oh!
Wow.
I know!
Great!
I, uh…
Have a good night, Anna.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi, um, what reds do you room service?
Do you think I need to bring my glasses or…
Oh, you changed? Ginny said we didn't have to.
My shirt smelled kind of sunscreeny. But you definitely don't need to.
What does that mean?
Oh, nothing, just, uh, you don't have to if you don't want to.
Nobody cares.
-Come on, Gramps! -This place is wild!
Oh, my God.
Okay! Well…
Danny and I did a joint bachelor party, but it was nothing like that.
Yeah, it was kind of just a lunch with me and Nick at Chili's.
No, that was the bachelor party for our straight friends.
Our real bachelor party happened in Mykonos with 12 beautiful men.
-What? I'm offended. -Yeah.
Oh, that's romantic. Her sash says "one dick forever."
-Ha-ha! -That could never be our sash.
Oh, are you guys open? Oh, my last relationship was open.
I don't know if that affects what sash I would get, but…
Was that with… Uh, that was Hondo?
Hondo, yeah.
You know, I told you, I mean, we-- We were fluid.
-We didn't label it. -Oh, yeah, right.
-Yeah. -Right, right, right, right. Right.
Right, right, right.
Hey, Nick, why don't we go get drinks for everybody?
Yay!
I'm gonna-- Yeah.
Uh, I think Ginny likes PBR.
What?
Could I have a bottle of your second-most expensive tequila?
On my friend. "Likes PBR." You make me sick.
I gotta tell you, I did not know that about her last relationship.
Well, no durr, bro.
I guess she told me, but I…
Would you please just explain to me without laughter or judgment?
Listen, you can ask me anything.
What is fluidity?
Fluidity… is going to third base in the dunk tank.
I knew you'd be mean.
Why doesn't anybody like labels anymore? I like labels. I love them.
I miss the '90s, when it was just girlfriend or friend zone.
God, you're bumming me out.
All you have to do is be cool.
-Cool. -Okay.
So I shouldn't, like,
ask her if she currently thinks of me as her boyfriend?
I said cool.
-I know! -That's not cool!
-Whoo! -Yeah!
All right, here we go.
Are we seriously gonna pretend to be people who still do shots?
Yes, Catherine, we're gonna clink.
Lick!
Let's go dance, come on!
Yeah!
Ah!
Yeah!
-Okay. Thank you. -Oh!
See you!
All right, hey, hey, hey, group pic.
Look bored for Anne.
Smile, motherfuckers!
-Welp. -Oh, boo!
No, no, no, no.
What?
You're trying to go home. We all know what "welp" means. Boo!
-Did you just throw a cup at me? -No, no, no. It was a tiny empty.
Oh.
Oh, tonight was so fun. What happened to us?
We used to do fun stuff like this all the time.
Oh, Jack used to really get after it. He was a great dancer.
Hey, he still is.
Thank you, Ginny. Yeah.
And not to brag, but where I grew up,
the roller rink had a little dance club in it.
It was called Secrets.
And I won a prize because I could do a B-boy shoulder freeze.
Yep-yep!
-I don't know what any of that means. -Well, allow me to show you.
-Jack! No! -Oh my God, no! He's doing it.
No, I want to see this!
Oh, yeah. Yep!
Yeah, Jack!
Yes!
Whoo!
I didn't even split my pants.
Wait, tell them where you got those pants.
I got them at Kohl's.
-Oh, wow. -What?
We were touring colleges in Nashville,
and Jack wanted to stop at an authentic Country Buffet.
But it was 4:30,
so all the food had been sitting out in chafing dishes for hours,
including the pork-soaked greens that he had two servings of.
-No. -Yes!
Sure enough, 45 minutes later, this guy…
dookied his pants…
No!
…right in the middle of our tour at Vanderbilt.
And then we went to Kohl's, and they were 50% off,
so that's good, right?
-No! -So cute.
Jack, and you're still wearing the same pants.
No, these are the new ones.
I understand that.
See? People love that story.
I love it. I do. I love that story.
I'm gonna get some water.
Oh.
Do you think they know he's not a stripper?
Do you think he knows he's not a stripper?
I'm just glad he's having fun. You know?
He's been cooped up at home. He couldn't even take the job in Austin.
Let him woo-hoo tonight. Woo-hoo!
Wait, what the fuck was that?
Oh!
Did you just do cocaine? Are you out of your fucking mind?
You just had heart surgery.
It was just a tiny bump. I'm on vacation.
Tara says she fentanyl-tested it.
-Tara? Dr. Tara now? Thank you very much! -Oh, well, if Tara said so--
You're 54, for God's sake!
You had a heart stent put in three months ago.
You're gonna choose now to try cocaine for the first time?
Amore, you're supposed to be--
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what I'm supposed to be doing.
What I'm not doing right now is this.
Do you think they'll want to play more Number Color when we get back?
You really love strawberries, huh?
You know, my cousin got me strawberry pajamas once for Christmas,
which I wore a ton when I was postpartum.
And then people just kept buying me strawberry things.
And then I started buying myself strawberry things.
And then one day I woke up
and this bright red son of a bitch was laughing at me.
Well, my mom's thing is pigs, so…
She probably hates them.
Could you throw in one of those oars?
Sure.
-Thanks. -Yep.
-Hey! Morning! -Hey.
I was about to head on a run. Do you want to join me?
Oh, no. I slept, like, uh, five hours.
Oh, I know. I only got four. Well, I'll see you.
-Hey. -Hey.
Hangover? Or a Viagra headache?
Both.
Hey.
I'm sorry for coming at you so hard last night.
You do get why I was upset, though?
You made it pretty clear.
Okay, good. Because…
it's not your favorite subject all the time,
so I thought maybe we could just--
I have work emails.
Guys, we have to evacuate. A hurricane is coming.
Okay?
Why do you have so many cushions? Come on. Come on.
No van!
Okay, why isn't there a van or something that can take us in an emergency?
The lodge is carbon-fucking-neutral.
No Ubers!
We can't leave. Ginny's not here.
-Ginny! -Jesus!
-Ginny! -Don't scream in my ear, please.
Why is there an eco-lodge in a place with hurricanes?
I fucking hate it here!
-Hate it so much! -Bugs, sand.
-It's because you let Ginny-- -Tribal art from Living Spaces!
-She's a child! -Hi, guys.
Hey.
Oh, thank God you're okay.
Yeah, I'm totally fine.
What is the plan here, guys?
-Are hotels sold out? -I told you that already!
-Do we go to the airport? -It's 40 miles away, genius!
It was just an idea!
Stop! Fuck!
We can go to Anne's hotel room.
Wait, Anne's here?
Yes, but there's no way to get there.
-What's wrong with you? -Uh--
We can take the pedal pub.
Is Anne even gonna let us in? We didn't tell her we were coming here.
She already knows
because this ancient moron is still on his family's iCloud!
-She's seen all your pictures! -She's seen all of our pictures?
No, no, no! Not that one. We used my phone for that one.
Oh, gross!
Okay, guys, we need to pedal!
Oh, my hat!
Oh no, your identity!
Come on!
Annie, honey, it's us!
Oh my God, are you guys okay?
Hurricane!
Oh, shit! Oh, man.
-Oh, no! -Oh, yes, Anne, thank you.
Annie, I am so sorry that we came on this trip without you.
-Thank you. -Guys, I feel numb!
It is not necessary. Go get some towels.
-I'm staying in a hovel! -Put them on!
And you know what?
I think a solo trip was good for me anyway.
So where's Nick?
Uh, well, he… he thought, you know, uh, out of respect for your-- Your feelings…
They're hiding from you down in the business center.
Good.
You know, it's still one of the best trips I've ever taken.
Yeah, right.
Will you be my girlfriend?
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry.
Forget that I said that.
You should be running for the hills. I'm an old man.
I like conventional labels.
I brought you to my ex-wife's hotel.
I have a cane.
Full disclosure, I got a hip replacement 12 years ago.
When the metal detector went off at the airport, that was not my watch.
You done?
I'm done out loud, but it's continuing in my head.
Well, at least I never have to worry about what you're thinking.
Because you always just say it. Out loud.
I can't be cool.
I like that you're not cool.
I've dated lots of cool guys, and they're not romantic or thoughtful.
They definitely would not have let me plan a trip for all their friends to a resort
that's probably blown away by now.
I would love to be your girlfriend.
Really?
Really.
Oh.
You're giving me a look like I should apologize.
Uh-huh. You know, maybe for the, uh, shit story last night?
You've told that story before at your sister's Easter brunch.
Yeah, it's okay when I tell it.
I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have thrown a cup at you.
But would you be upset if I had told that story in front of Anne?
Would you have told that story if I was dancing with Anne?
I only told it because of how thirsty you were acting
when a 32-year-old complimented your hat.
No, no, no, you're right. You're right.
I was so horny and vain that I didn't want a stranger,
who we decided to make more of an effort with,
picturing me with my pants caked in shit.
Maybe I am not as charming as I think I am when I'm drunk.
I'm probably not either.
Maybe we should drink less?
-Yep. -All right.
Mwah.
The surf instructor had an early morning, so no sleepover,
but we had a great talk at the bar.
Hmm.
So, how's work?
Great.
I just got offered a job to design a hotel in Austin.
Congratulations. Are you gonna do it?
Yeah. I took it this morning, actually.
I'll be away for a couple months.
Hmm.
What are you guys talking about?
Nothing.
Should we turn the TV on?
-Yeah. -See how the weather is shaping up.
Oh.
Looks like the… storm might have given the TV a virus. ,