WEBVTT

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Oh my God, it's perfect!

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This is the deluxe arch.
Can you believe how cute it is?

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It's gorgeous.

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-So deluxe.
-What a rental, yeah.

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It cost a bit more, but I figured,

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how often do you get to celebrate
25 years of marriage?

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Sometimes never, right?

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-Yeah.
-A little to the left.

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Can you just eyeball,
make sure it's straight?

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Sorry, I'm nitpicky. I'm nitpicking.

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So, uh, what made you want to surprise
Nick with, you know, this whole fun thing?

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I don't know, I just wanted
to do something special.

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I mean, the man bought me a kiln.
He installed it himself.

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So, I woke up this morning,
and I fired it up for the first time.

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It's a wedding platter.

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The one we got years ago broke,
so I did that from memory.

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Well, what a memory
today also will, uh, be.

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Yeah.

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-Annie, what do you need from us?
-Great question.

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Uh, the fancy clothes that
I asked you to bring, they're for this.

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So go put them on,
and you can help me set up the ceremony.

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But Nick won't be back for two hours,
and then it's just, you know,

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surprise, vows, cake,
and happily ever after.

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Amazing plan. No notes. Get it, girl.

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I hate this. I hate talking like this.
I wanna leave.

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Jack, you were acting insane.

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Yeah, how can you be even less chill
in your fifties than in your twenties?

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She made her marriage
a tombstone, all right?

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I think we need to tell her.

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-Absolutely not doing that.
-Absolutely no.

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-Why?
-'Cause you're not thinking it through.

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What, are we gonna divorce Anne for Nick?
How would we do that?

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We… Gently.

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Vow renewals are dumb and tacky,
but they're not real.

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So, the six of us will sit here

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and uncomfortably watch
this little ceremony,

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and that will be that.

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Oh, Jesus.

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It's a zombie apocalypse.

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Anne invited everyone she knows.

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It's going to be a big party!

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Hi, I'm Claude. Hi. Hi.

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Thanks.

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Jack, it's gonna be okay.

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It's not that. Can you--
Can you feel my glands?

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Please.

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Just feels like normal neck.

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I just feel, like, off.

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-You know, not like sick, but like, funky.
-Uh-huh.

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I mean, I swallowed
lake water yesterday, and…

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-You don't think I have giardia, do you?
-I think you're just stressed, buddy.

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Look, my thumb joints
are, like, crazy tender.

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You see this? Look.

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Just doing that hurts.

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So bad.

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I can't believe that Nick is doing this.

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He just wants to be happy.
I'm sure it's not easy for him either.

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Wait, why are you on Nick's side?

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No, I'm not taking a side.

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I just think we should focus
on the actual situation

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and not give in
to a bunch of big feelings.

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Oh, well, sorry I have big feelings.

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I actually didn't
'til you said "big feelings" like that.

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Look, you're not feeling well, okay?

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Why don't you eat a banana and lay down?
And I'll go help downstairs.

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You're… You're not gonna be mad
if I lie down?

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No.

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Thank you.

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Is… Is this the only banana you have?

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Yeah.

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You're positive we shouldn't call Nick
and tell him what's happening?

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Hello, you've reached
the voicemail of Nick Pagano.

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-Please leave a message.
-Voicemail.

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And if you wish to send a fax,
you may do so on this line at any time.

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Thanks, have a great day.

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Hi, Nick, it's Kate.
When was the last time you got a fax?

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Also, Anne is throwing you
a surprise vow renewal,

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which, given where your head is at,
may be an issue.

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Please call me back.

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Thank you.

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If there are other bananas down there,
can you text me?

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Yeah.

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Thank you, Janessa.
That is all. Yes, that's great.

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Yeah. Yeah, you're an angel from heaven.

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Ciao, ciao, ciao.

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Yeah, okay.

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-Janessa, you fucking bitch!
-Everything okay?

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No. I got locked out of the portal,
so I called the number.

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I'm on hold for 45 minutes.
Finally, I get Janessa on the phone.

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She says she's fixed it.
Look, does it look fixed to you?

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Maybe it's a sign
we don't worry about it this second.

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This is not a sign, Danny.

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Thunder, volcano,

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when a fish looks at you right in the eye
for no reason, these are signs.

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This? This is a fixable problem,
and I'm going to fix it.

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Okay, just breathe, okay?

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You sure you cannot stay home
and keep the appointment?

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Get the surgery over with?

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Miami's a big project.
I can't miss the installation.

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And you can't do it from home,
with a Zoom?

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You know I need to be there in person
to see all the furniture

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and touch all the fabrics.

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Why do you have to be
so tactile all the time?

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I mean, it's sexy,
but also a little frustrating.

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Okay, all I want right now

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is to be on vacation
with my beautiful husband.

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-Now you do that voice, huh?
-Mm-hmm.

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You know, you can say anything,
and I melt with that voice, right?

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-Cafeteria.
-Oh, God.

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Trash compactor.

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Ah!

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More!

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Janessa.

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I love Janessa.

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Basta. Oh, I'll do this later.

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Now I need to get ready
for Nick and Anne's big day.

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Oh.

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-What?
-Yeah.

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Oh, God. Dang it.

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Oh, you need help?

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Oh, that would be great.

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Make sure you lift it with your knees.

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Up, and back, back.

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A little bit more to your left.
Back, back, back. Watch your step.

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Yes, you can open the door.

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-Claude, question.
-Yes.

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Is there any way you'd be willing
to sing at the ceremony?

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Anne!

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That is so personal.

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I would be very honored.

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Oh, good because, um,

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you know that beautiful song
that you always sing at karaoke?

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-The ballad, the one in Italian?
-No, no, no, no.

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That song is about orphans in a famine,
I cannot sing that.

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-Oh.
-I know your wedding song. How's that?

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Perfect. Thank you.

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This is gonna be so special!

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Yes.

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Yeah, come in.

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Hey, Jack. Sorry to barge--

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Oh, no. Are you not feeling well?

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Oh! No, no, no. Not at all. Not at all.

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I'm, uh, just resting up for,

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uh, later, later.

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Um, do you need something?

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Yeah, just the full-length mirror
for a minute, if you don't mind.

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It's the only one in the house.

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Oh my God, of course. Please.

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Please, yeah.

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-Sorry, just real quick.
-Go ahead, and…

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That's, uh,

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an amazing, amazing dress.

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This is annoying,
but I need help with my hair.

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I can't see the back.

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Oh, of course. Yeah, of course.

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If you just put
some of the pieces on the side.

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I don't know. Whatever looks nice.

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Okay.

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I had baby's breath in my hair
on our wedding day.

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You look… beautiful.

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I can't wait to see Nick's face.

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Are you hiding?
Where'd you get that sandwich?

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I made it.

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This catering is for Barbies.
How's Jack holding up?

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Oh no, he's not. No, this whole thing
is giving him emotional giardia.

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Hmm!

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I noticed that Claude
is very excited about the ceremony.

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Don't judge me.
If I told him about Nick and Anne,

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he wouldn't just take to a fainting couch,
he would explode.

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That is why sometimes,
I need to manage him a little.

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-I get it.
-It's just easier that way.

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I mean, it's not like you're straight-up
lying to him or anything.

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-What?
-Okay, um…

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Well, I…

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I didn't lie,

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but I kind of lightly fabricated
that I need to be out of town

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for work next week
instead of doing that surgery.

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I know! I know!

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God, your face gets so loud sometimes!

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But you are gonna get that surgery.

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I need a minute to think about it before
Claude loses his beautiful Italian mind.

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That is the only way I get my minute.

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But you are gonna--

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It's a balloon that they shove in
through your groin, Katherine.

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They jam a balloon through your groin.

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That sounds awful.

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-But you're gonna let them jam it, right?
-Bitch, will you let me eat my sandwich?

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We are monsters.

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All of us, monsters.

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All right, Anne is gonna be blindsided

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in front of her dad
and her old youth pastor from Utica.

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And we're just sitting on our hands,
letting it happen.

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Okay.

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-He still hasn't called you back yet?
-No.

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Great, he hasn't called me back either.

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Wait, you called him too?

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-A little, yeah.
-Okay, I also called him.

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So we all called him?
Well, then we know what happened.

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Obviously, he got
a billion panicked voicemails,

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and he freaked out and ran away.

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No, he would not just run away.

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-That's what I would do.
-That's what you would do, huh?

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You would abandon me
while I threw you a vow renewal party?

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That's not what I meant.

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Okay, you know what?
Fuck it. I'm telling Anne.

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-Jack, no, you have not thought this--
-I'm telling Anne!

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-There you are. Stop hiding.
-No.

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Jack has been talking to Anne for a while.
Nick is now a thousand minutes late.

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I mean, should we start subtly
telling people to go home?

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-I'm not doing that. I live in here now.
-Mind if I use the good bathroom?

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-Oh, hey.
-Oh, Don. Hi.

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Mr. K, you came all the way
from Florida for this?

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Well, your daughter only gets married…

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a bunch of times, I guess.

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You know, Anne's mother

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would have really loved this.

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-Yeah.
-She loved outdoor parties.

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You were together for a long time.

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Sixty-seven wonderful years.

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You got any tips?

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I don't know. You know, communication.

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Try not to fuss about the small stuff.

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But my wife did have this one thing. She…

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-She…
-Tell me.

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She'd… She'd kill me if I told you.

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But every once in a while,
we'd wake up and she'd say,

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"Congratulations.
Take off your pants. It's a sex day."

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That's incredible!

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You might try that with your spouse.
They'd be so grateful and surprised.

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You know, it's like a dog waking up
not knowing it's Thanksgiving.

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And then all of a sudden,
all these people come over,

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start dropping turkey
and stuffing all over the ground.

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I love you so much.

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-Oh.
-Mwah!

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-This is gonna be a memorable day.
-Yeah.

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Now, if you'll excuse me,
I had real coffee this morning.

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Yeah, we will give you your privacy. Okay.

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You sure you don't want to let Claude in
on what's happening?

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Right. Because a hysterical man is exactly
what this party needs right now.

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You're keeping all these things from him.

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You know what, Katherine? You're right.

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Let's tell him. Let's see how that goes.

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No, not with me.
No, I don't have to tell him anything.

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…from the tempo,
the key's there, but we're not--

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-Hey, honey.
-Claude.

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Hey, we need to talk to you for a moment.

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What happened?

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Uh…

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We're worried about how today may go.

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You see,

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Nick told us that he's thinking
about leaving Anne, and she doesn't know.

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Oh, well.

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"Oh, well"?

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Oh, well. I mean,
people say things all the time,

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but who knows what they will really do.

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You know, I'm going to cross my fingers

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and hope that love will find its way
into his heart again.

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How's that?

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I'd better go warm up now. Ciao.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Katherine.

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Oh, hi. How are you?

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-Hey.
-Hey!

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Yeah, so, uh, I talked to Anne.

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Okay.

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Yeah, and I-I went in just thinking,
you know, like, I'll be loving but firm.

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Okay.

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And…

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I couldn't do it.

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I mean, I-I-I couldn't do it.

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Like, I got emotional seeing her, right?

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And I think my voice cracked,

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and I just ended up saying,
"I love you," like, 11 times.

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And by the time I left,
I had gone completely the other way.

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Right? And now I've got to do
a reading at the ceremony

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of "When Two People Are at One"
from the I Ching.

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Oh, Jack, you only tried
to do what you thought was right.

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-But I do think that this kind of proves--
-No, no, uh, Kate.

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You know, at some point,
Anne's like, you know,

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"Jack, is there something else
you want to tell me?"

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-Because she could sense it, right?
-Yeah.

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And, uh, you know, I said, no,
I don't have anything else to tell her.

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But I, you know, I said, uh…

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you…

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did.

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What?

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I know. I'm sorry.
I sucked. I'm bad. I panicked.

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I just thought, in the moment,
you'd be so much better at thi--

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Oh, man.

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Oh, hey, you.

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Hey.

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What are you doing in here? It's hot.

15:19.209 --> 15:22.713
The kiln heat is good for my voice

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Okay, well,
can I, uh, interrupt you for a minute?

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Of course, amore. What's up?

15:29.219 --> 15:30.512
Claude.

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Honey.

15:33.641 --> 15:35.768
I didn't really have to go to Miami.

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What? So you lied to me?

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No.

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Yes, I-- But lately,

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it doesn't seem like you and I
could have a conversation about…

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-Conversation?
-…surgery.

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What kind of conversation
do we need to have?

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Whether I really need to have it or not.

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-Are you crazy?
-Oh, my God!

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You don't want to get the surgery now?

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The doctor said that maybe
with diet and exercise, that maybe I--

15:58.248 --> 15:59.291
Oh sure, sure, sure.

15:59.375 --> 16:01.835
Why don't you just chew some gum
and make a wish?

16:02.962 --> 16:04.964
I see you now. I know what you're doing.

16:05.047 --> 16:06.548
-What?
-That was always your plan.

16:06.632 --> 16:09.093
You thought you could push the date
until I forgot about it.

16:09.176 --> 16:12.596
Well, guess what? This is not
like getting our matching tattoos.

16:12.680 --> 16:15.557
You always do this. You always
bullshit me to get what you want.

16:15.641 --> 16:17.559
No. I don't. Can we please
do this somewhere else?

16:17.643 --> 16:18.936
It's hot as fuck in here.

16:19.019 --> 16:19.853
Just…

16:20.354 --> 16:21.814
I don't understand.

16:21.897 --> 16:25.401
There is a thing that you can do
to take care of this thing,

16:25.484 --> 16:26.777
and you don't do it.

16:27.444 --> 16:28.862
Not even for us.

16:33.242 --> 16:34.076
Fine.

16:36.245 --> 16:37.162
Fine.

16:37.788 --> 16:39.039
I'll get it done.

16:39.123 --> 16:40.165
Really?

16:41.166 --> 16:42.918
-Or that's another lie?
-No.

16:43.919 --> 16:44.795
Next week.

16:46.463 --> 16:47.881
I'll get the surgery.

16:50.676 --> 16:56.390
But I reject the narrative
that I lie to you to get what I want.

16:57.558 --> 16:59.601
Sometimes I just need a minute.

17:02.354 --> 17:03.188
Okay.

17:04.314 --> 17:05.149
Okay.

17:09.528 --> 17:10.362
Okay.

17:21.457 --> 17:22.833
Oh, hey, Kate.

17:23.417 --> 17:25.502
-Oh, Lila! Oh!
-Hey!

17:25.586 --> 17:27.713
Hi! how are you?

17:27.796 --> 17:30.340
Can you believe my mom did all this?

17:30.424 --> 17:32.509
God, she is so extra.

17:32.593 --> 17:35.179
Okay, you know, go easy on her. She's…

17:35.262 --> 17:36.180
A triple Pisces?

17:36.263 --> 17:38.891
She's your mom, and she loves your dad.

17:38.974 --> 17:39.808
I know.

17:40.309 --> 17:43.479
I'm sure once it's actually happening,
it won't be embarrassing.

17:46.315 --> 17:47.858
-I'm gonna go check on her.
-Okay.

17:56.825 --> 17:57.659
Come in.

18:01.622 --> 18:03.165
Oh, wow!

18:03.248 --> 18:04.792
You look great.

18:06.168 --> 18:07.377
How do you feel?

18:07.461 --> 18:10.255
Well, I fit into this dress today,
so I'm starving.

18:12.925 --> 18:15.344
-Have you heard from Nick?
-No, which is very Nick of him.

18:15.427 --> 18:17.054
But I'm sure he'll text soon.

18:17.930 --> 18:21.141
-Uh, so, I know… Jack mentioned that--
-It's loud out there.

18:21.225 --> 18:22.935
You think people are having fun?

18:23.018 --> 18:24.353
I do, yeah.

18:24.436 --> 18:26.939
Um, Anne, can we sit for a second?

18:27.022 --> 18:29.149
Uh, depends on if you want
to see me naked.

18:29.233 --> 18:31.401
If I sit in this dress,
it'll explode right off me.

18:35.906 --> 18:36.740
Um…

18:38.117 --> 18:40.661
Anne, you and I have known
each other for a very long time.

18:40.744 --> 18:41.870
Yeah.

18:42.454 --> 18:44.331
And I love you so much.

18:44.414 --> 18:46.708
-I hope he's not having car trouble.
-What?

18:47.501 --> 18:51.129
Yeah, because you know when he's out here,
he drives that old BMW.

18:51.213 --> 18:53.799
The, what'd you use to call it?
The almost red one?

18:53.882 --> 18:54.967
Sure.

18:56.552 --> 18:57.719
Yeah, it's funny, when…

18:58.554 --> 19:00.931
when Nick turned 50, he was like,
"You know what, Anne?"

19:01.014 --> 19:04.184
"I make good money.
I'm gonna treat myself to a new car."

19:04.768 --> 19:07.896
And he went on this endless quest
for a new car, right?

19:07.980 --> 19:10.607
Every week was a new website
or a new conversation.

19:11.358 --> 19:15.445
He spent two years test-driving
a dozen cars, maybe more.

19:16.363 --> 19:17.781
But for whatever reason,

19:19.074 --> 19:21.243
he keeps coming back to that old BMW.

19:22.744 --> 19:25.455
Because he loves it.

19:30.544 --> 19:33.172
At work, he's really decisive, but…

19:34.131 --> 19:36.175
well, in life, he just…

19:37.634 --> 19:41.013
You know,
sometimes he doesn't exactly know.

19:44.308 --> 19:46.476
It's Nick. Five minutes away.

19:48.562 --> 19:51.148
Okay, do-- Should I get
everyone in their seats?

19:51.231 --> 19:53.317
-That'd be amazing.
-Okay. Okay.

19:55.068 --> 19:56.069
Thank you.

19:56.737 --> 19:57.738
Yeah.

19:57.821 --> 19:59.573
For, you know, just thank you.

20:15.255 --> 20:17.382
Uh, if I could have
everybody's attention, please.

20:17.466 --> 20:18.967
Nick is five minutes away,

20:19.051 --> 20:21.970
so everyone should take their seats
for the surprise.

20:29.770 --> 20:32.231
Uh, I talked to Anne, kind of.

20:33.106 --> 20:35.442
And you should know, she already…

20:37.527 --> 20:40.113
She's not gonna be blindsided today,
if that helps.

20:41.114 --> 20:43.075
Oh, man, so… so all this…

20:43.158 --> 20:44.034
Yeah.

20:44.117 --> 20:46.828
-Because she's trying to…
-I think so, yeah.

20:47.579 --> 20:48.747
Must have been hard.

20:51.792 --> 20:53.835
Well, whatever happened,

20:54.544 --> 20:56.672
I think I would have
been really bad at it.

20:57.422 --> 21:01.218
No, you would have been nice.
You would have said a hug somehow.

21:01.301 --> 21:03.845
No, I would have fallen apart,
I would've cried,

21:03.929 --> 21:08.058
I would have thrown up
and offered to buy her like a… a horse.

21:09.685 --> 21:11.645
Oh God, poor Anne.

21:17.985 --> 21:20.153
Promise me that we will keep talking

21:20.237 --> 21:23.115
so that nobody feels like
they have to pull any crazy shit

21:23.198 --> 21:25.200
to keep the other one from running away.

21:25.283 --> 21:26.201
I promise.

21:27.536 --> 21:30.664
I can kind of promise anything
because I'll be dead from giardia soon.

21:51.476 --> 21:52.853
Shh! He's coming.

22:06.241 --> 22:08.452
Surprise! We're renewing our vows!

22:17.961 --> 22:20.088
I guess I should have brought more bagels!

22:22.341 --> 22:23.967
Wow, hey, everybody.

22:24.051 --> 22:24.885
Hey.

22:26.970 --> 22:28.138
Hi, honey!

22:30.223 --> 22:31.683
Oh! Oh.

22:32.434 --> 22:33.310
If you would.

22:39.816 --> 22:40.817
Claude.

22:41.735 --> 22:42.569
Oh!

22:47.491 --> 22:48.408
Hi.

22:48.492 --> 22:49.618
Thank you.

22:49.701 --> 22:51.495
I'm so glad you're all here today.

22:52.204 --> 22:54.247
I was very honored
when Anne asked me to sing.

22:54.331 --> 22:55.415
Thank you.

22:55.499 --> 22:59.378
You know, I wasn't at their first wedding,
so when Danny and I got married,

22:59.461 --> 23:01.713
I really wanted this
to be my wedding song,

23:01.797 --> 23:05.217
and he was like, "No, we can't steal that.
That's Nick and Anne's."

23:05.300 --> 23:08.178
So we had to choose another song, and…

23:09.012 --> 23:11.181
But this one was always in my heart.

23:14.643 --> 23:17.813
Mmm, yeah

23:18.480 --> 23:20.816
Looks like we made it

23:21.817 --> 23:25.404
Look how far we've come, my baby

23:25.487 --> 23:28.323
We might have took the long way

23:29.366 --> 23:32.452
We knew we'd get there someday

23:33.036 --> 23:34.413
They said

23:34.496 --> 23:38.625
"I bet they'll never make it"

23:38.708 --> 23:43.046
But just look at us holding on

23:43.130 --> 23:45.340
I'm sorry, that's not our wedding song.

23:45.424 --> 23:47.384
But it's great, please keep going.

23:47.467 --> 23:49.136
I am so sorry.

23:49.219 --> 23:51.680
Please, I love you. Please.

23:54.349 --> 23:57.853
You're still the one that I love

23:57.936 --> 24:01.314
The only one I dream of

24:01.398 --> 24:06.611
You're still the one I kiss good night

24:08.697 --> 24:11.324
I'm so glad we made it

24:12.075 --> 24:16.746
Look how far we've come, my baby

24:19.875 --> 24:21.251
Yes!

24:21.334 --> 24:22.919
Yeah. How lovely.

24:27.966 --> 24:29.968
Well, we're here today to celebrate…

24:30.051 --> 24:31.595
-Fantastic.
-…Nick and Anne,

24:31.678 --> 24:35.724
and their decision
to boldly proclaim their love…

24:35.807 --> 24:39.394
I am so sorry I massaged the truth
to get the wedding song that I wanted.

24:39.477 --> 24:41.396
I promise to work on my communication…

24:42.230 --> 24:44.024
next week right after my surgery.

24:44.566 --> 24:46.193
And we're getting those tattoos.

24:46.693 --> 24:51.323
…but who can tell us that
more than Nick and Anne?

24:51.406 --> 24:53.533
Anne, you've got the floor.

24:58.121 --> 25:01.833
Thank you, um, we're so lucky
that you're all here today.

25:02.459 --> 25:05.045
Dad, thank you.

25:06.796 --> 25:09.341
Uh, in my original vows, I wrote a poem

25:09.424 --> 25:11.760
where I rhymed "honeymoon"
with "crab Rangoon,"

25:11.843 --> 25:13.970
so I'm grateful for the do-over.

25:14.930 --> 25:16.973
This'll be short and sweet.

25:21.811 --> 25:22.729
Nick,

25:24.272 --> 25:25.190
I love you.

25:27.150 --> 25:30.612
Not every second of every day,
because that's fake.

25:32.531 --> 25:34.032
I love you bigger than that.

25:35.408 --> 25:37.202
I love you in the fun times,

25:37.702 --> 25:39.454
like when we went to Santorini

25:39.538 --> 25:43.333
and you demanded that we watch
Speed 2: Cruise Control in Greek.

25:45.001 --> 25:47.379
I love you in the harder times.

25:49.339 --> 25:53.802
Like when our daughter came way too early
and you were really brave,

25:54.511 --> 25:57.889
and you turned the NICU waiting room
into your office for the next eight weeks.

25:59.182 --> 26:01.309
I love that you're always surprising me,

26:02.102 --> 26:07.148
whether it's you
inexplicably getting into judo at 47…

26:08.608 --> 26:11.778
or buying me the world's biggest kiln
and installing it yourself,

26:11.861 --> 26:15.615
even when the guy said
it simply must be done by a professional.

26:18.660 --> 26:19.995
I just love you.

26:20.912 --> 26:22.622
And you annoy the hell out of me.

26:23.373 --> 26:25.292
And I annoy the hell out of you too.

26:26.585 --> 26:30.297
And I would be so honored
to annoy the hell out of each other

26:30.380 --> 26:33.883
in sickness and in health
until death do us part.

26:39.139 --> 26:42.892
Now, I had a smidge more time to prepare,
so it's a little unfair, but…

26:44.602 --> 26:46.021
Okay, honey, it's your turn.

26:54.779 --> 26:55.614
Hmm.

26:57.115 --> 26:57.949
Um…

27:00.702 --> 27:01.995
Wow. Uh…