WEBVTT 00:18.240 --> 00:19.360 So I'm in my flat, 00:20.840 --> 00:22.040 and Sandy's on the way. 00:23.200 --> 00:25.279 He knows I've gone to the police. 00:25.360 --> 00:27.400 I'm the one who marked the grave site. 00:34.199 --> 00:36.720 All of a sudden, Sandy's slamming the car door 00:37.320 --> 00:38.640 and storming up to the door. 00:41.559 --> 00:42.480 My God, 00:43.160 --> 00:44.800 I think he's got a spare key. 00:45.879 --> 00:47.840 I honestly thought he was gonna kill me. 00:52.040 --> 00:55.840 But I was finding this anger just bubbling up inside me. 00:56.360 --> 00:59.000 What right did he have to threaten me? 00:59.680 --> 01:01.360 He was the one that did this. 01:01.879 --> 01:03.640 And so I hit the record button. 01:04.599 --> 01:07.880 If he dares lay a finger on me, I can take that to the police. 01:07.960 --> 01:10.560 "Do you know what? Fuck you, Sandy. Fuck you." 01:12.200 --> 01:15.080 Sandy, why did you get me involved in all of this? 01:15.160 --> 01:16.360 Why? 01:16.440 --> 01:19.880 What good did you think was gonna come of it? You have-- 01:19.960 --> 01:22.479 I'll never forgive myself for what I've done to you. 01:22.560 --> 01:25.200 -You will for what you did to Parsons? -No! 01:25.280 --> 01:28.160 I was expecting Sandy to kick off. 01:28.680 --> 01:29.600 But actually, 01:30.240 --> 01:32.720 in that moment, he was a bit broken. 01:34.000 --> 01:35.960 -Sandy, you told me after a month. -I know. 01:36.040 --> 01:37.040 Why? 01:37.119 --> 01:39.080 I fucking loved you and I trusted you. 01:39.160 --> 01:42.839 I mean it, Caroline, when I say, fuck me, I never felt so comfortable. 01:42.920 --> 01:45.560 I never loved somebody as much as when I met you. 01:46.440 --> 01:49.399 And I said, "But you've just heard about this Red Bull can." 01:49.479 --> 01:51.399 He went, "See, at the end of the day, 01:52.000 --> 01:54.399 whatever happened, happened." 01:54.479 --> 01:56.399 "But you weren't involved." 01:57.440 --> 01:58.759 "I involved you." 01:59.919 --> 02:02.520 Deep down, like, it's not your fault. 02:02.600 --> 02:04.000 It's my fault. 02:04.759 --> 02:07.960 Him apologizing to me for everything… 02:08.039 --> 02:10.840 …it released a lot of the fear. 02:13.400 --> 02:17.480 Christ, you've done more for me than anybody's ever done in my life. 02:18.600 --> 02:23.120 One side of my brain is saying, "This is the loving man that I fell for." 02:24.160 --> 02:25.560 "The gentle Sandy." 02:26.280 --> 02:29.480 The other side of my brain is saying, "Caroline, this guy's dangerous." 02:30.920 --> 02:33.040 My emotions were all over the place. 02:40.840 --> 02:43.600 Sandy and I decided we would stay in touch, 02:43.679 --> 02:45.640 and he went back to the estate. 02:48.040 --> 02:50.400 Now, Sandy didn't hurt me that night, 02:50.480 --> 02:53.280 but it could've gone a very, very different way. 02:55.400 --> 02:56.560 I went to the police. 02:57.440 --> 02:59.200 I'd done the right thing. 02:59.720 --> 03:02.640 But I thought, "The police will support me through this." 03:03.160 --> 03:04.560 And they didn't. 03:04.640 --> 03:08.400 They just completely revealed me as the betrayer. 03:09.040 --> 03:11.760 It made me see the police in an entirely different light. 03:12.280 --> 03:13.760 What is your complaint? 03:14.280 --> 03:17.679 Do you understand how much me going to help you guys 03:17.760 --> 03:20.200 has literally ruined my life? 03:20.280 --> 03:22.679 And you couldn't even promise me safety. 03:23.959 --> 03:27.519 Do you understand why this is so sad and serious? 03:30.640 --> 03:32.600 The police abandoned me that day. 03:46.920 --> 03:49.280 As head of Homicide and Major Crime, 03:49.359 --> 03:52.200 I had investigated many, many murders. 03:53.239 --> 03:55.320 Every one of them is a jigsaw. 03:55.840 --> 03:58.079 You don't necessarily have all the pieces, 03:58.160 --> 04:00.560 but you have to put together enough 04:00.640 --> 04:04.440 to present that compelling picture to a jury. 04:05.560 --> 04:07.280 At this stage in the investigation, 04:07.359 --> 04:11.839 the information that we had from Dr. Muirhead led us to the body, 04:11.920 --> 04:17.120 but it wasn't sufficient to allow us to take proceedings against the McKellars. 04:18.159 --> 04:21.160 We needed to find more pieces of the jigsaw. 04:22.800 --> 04:25.880 The police were conducting very, very extensive searches 04:25.960 --> 04:27.640 to see if they could recover 04:27.720 --> 04:31.080 Tony Parsons' bicycle, his helmet, his rucksack. 04:31.599 --> 04:35.120 We needed to find out what vehicle had been involved. 04:35.200 --> 04:37.520 It was essential that we recover 04:37.599 --> 04:41.280 every single possible shred of forensic evidence, 04:41.360 --> 04:47.280 so that we don't allow them to get away without any consequence of their actions. 04:49.360 --> 04:50.520 On top of that, 04:50.599 --> 04:55.000 Dr. Muirhead told the police that Robert McKellar had confirmed to her 04:55.080 --> 04:59.680 that Tony Parsons was alive at the time they removed him to the estate. 05:01.120 --> 05:02.720 If he was still alive, 05:02.800 --> 05:06.280 that takes you into the territory of murder or culpable homicide. 05:09.240 --> 05:13.680 In order to corroborate what has been said to her, 05:13.760 --> 05:16.640 we need to conduct a full postmortem examination. 05:18.360 --> 05:21.640 In this case, the receiving mortuary would be 05:21.720 --> 05:24.360 the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Mortuary in Glasgow. 05:25.800 --> 05:26.960 Incredibly, 05:27.680 --> 05:30.760 the human remains of Tony Parsons 05:30.840 --> 05:33.919 was brought to the same mortuary I was contracted to work at. 05:35.880 --> 05:40.080 For which I had specialist access to files, to computer programs, 05:40.160 --> 05:41.760 ID badges, staff access. 05:42.640 --> 05:48.080 It really wasn't appropriate that she should be in or around the mortuary 05:48.160 --> 05:50.400 during the time Mr. Parsons' body was there. 05:51.080 --> 05:54.160 I was then put initially on special leave, 05:54.240 --> 05:56.640 in case I became a conflict of interest. 05:57.760 --> 06:00.640 I didn't anticipate there would be any problem for her. 06:02.359 --> 06:03.760 I was devastated. 06:04.440 --> 06:05.960 I loved my job. 06:11.520 --> 06:16.039 In medicine, work does kind of become all-consuming. 06:16.760 --> 06:19.400 It's just all you do, all you talk about. 06:21.479 --> 06:26.120 She'd have been training for 11 years by that stage. 06:26.200 --> 06:29.680 Every day has been about medical school or work as a doctor. 06:30.200 --> 06:34.039 To have that taken away from you, it's devastating. That's all you have. 06:35.280 --> 06:37.560 Suddenly, you're at home. 06:37.640 --> 06:39.359 There's no one to speak to. 06:39.960 --> 06:42.200 And this was during lockdown. 06:43.840 --> 06:45.200 Left to her own thoughts. 06:45.280 --> 06:46.520 Oh, my life! 06:47.120 --> 06:50.120 It must have been extremely distressing for her. 06:50.799 --> 06:52.000 It was difficult. 06:53.320 --> 06:55.560 I had no purpose, nothing to wake up for. 06:55.640 --> 06:56.640 Oh, my gosh. 06:56.720 --> 06:59.520 I would start recording everything, even myself, 07:00.160 --> 07:02.320 trying to keep a grasp on my own reality. 07:07.080 --> 07:08.760 It was a terrible time. 07:09.720 --> 07:11.560 She became totally paranoid. 07:11.640 --> 07:12.680 -Mm-hm. -Um… 07:12.760 --> 07:13.919 And anti-police. 07:14.560 --> 07:16.760 Anti seeing anyone, talking to anyone, 07:16.840 --> 07:18.479 doing anything. 07:19.000 --> 07:23.039 I felt like such a failure to my parents by this point in my life. 07:23.640 --> 07:26.680 I knew I'd thrown their world into turmoil. 07:29.760 --> 07:31.560 And I couldn't face that. 07:35.280 --> 07:37.760 My mum explicitly asked the detectives 07:37.840 --> 07:40.840 if I could have someone professional to talk to. 07:41.520 --> 07:44.479 The officer said, "Your daughter's not allowed to speak to anyone, 07:44.560 --> 07:46.320 or she could compromise the case." 07:51.520 --> 07:53.599 My support network of colleagues was gone. 07:54.320 --> 07:56.520 My family was torn apart by this. 07:56.599 --> 07:58.919 I had nothing in Glasgow. 08:00.599 --> 08:03.239 I was getting occasional messages from Caroline. 08:03.320 --> 08:05.359 She was a mess. 08:05.440 --> 08:08.120 You know, a whirlwind romance, an engagement… 08:08.200 --> 08:12.799 I don't know if you have an opportunity to suddenly turn those feelings off. 08:13.840 --> 08:16.080 I was so broken and feeling as if 08:16.159 --> 08:17.520 no one would want to be with me. 08:18.520 --> 08:21.479 Sandy would send little photos and little videos, 08:22.000 --> 08:24.640 saying, "Oh, my gosh, I miss you so much." 08:25.239 --> 08:27.679 I had handed him in and ruined his life. 08:28.840 --> 08:30.560 He should hate me. 08:31.679 --> 08:34.880 It made me feel loved, made me feel wanted. 08:35.840 --> 08:39.280 And that… feeling of being treated well 08:39.360 --> 08:41.240 when you've not been, 08:41.320 --> 08:43.799 you cling onto it so strongly. 08:44.959 --> 08:48.400 I still had that toxic draw 08:48.480 --> 08:50.280 when he would message me. 08:50.360 --> 08:52.640 You make me smile more than anybody. 08:54.000 --> 08:56.959 You make me laugh more than anybody's done in my life. 08:57.560 --> 09:01.199 I've never met somebody like you before in my life. 09:03.800 --> 09:05.959 As mad as it may sound to people, 09:06.920 --> 09:10.800 you can't just turn your affection off even if they've done a terrible thing. 09:14.880 --> 09:16.400 I drove to the Auch Estate, 09:17.160 --> 09:18.480 back to Sandy. 09:19.920 --> 09:22.000 It weirdly felt like I was going home. 09:23.120 --> 09:24.920 Being somewhere where maybe… 09:26.880 --> 09:27.959 …I'm actually loved. 09:30.320 --> 09:33.199 Even if it's the most warped love in the world. 09:36.440 --> 09:37.920 We've all, at some point, 09:38.000 --> 09:40.880 done or kept to something we know is bad for us. 09:44.000 --> 09:45.160 We're all human. 09:56.280 --> 09:57.160 Morning! 10:02.880 --> 10:04.959 Aye… 10:05.040 --> 10:09.079 Being on that estate, you could hide yourself away from the world. 10:11.280 --> 10:13.199 Ah, to be alone in Scotland. 10:13.680 --> 10:14.920 Yeah. 10:15.000 --> 10:21.040 Sandy and I, thereafter, lived in a bubble of our own little false reality. 10:23.160 --> 10:24.360 It's just the best. 10:24.440 --> 10:27.720 His brother, Robert, he accepted me back. 10:28.240 --> 10:30.000 I remember Robert once saying, 10:30.079 --> 10:32.760 "This is the most fucked-up, dysfunctional situation, 10:32.839 --> 10:34.160 but we all love each other." 10:38.199 --> 10:41.520 Me, Robert, and Sandy were the only three in the world who knew 10:41.600 --> 10:43.959 the intensity of what was going on. 10:44.760 --> 10:47.520 When you're on the estate and the police turn up… 10:47.600 --> 10:50.839 Every time a police car would even come past the road, everyone would freeze, 10:52.320 --> 10:54.839 thinking they were gonna get rearrested. 10:55.640 --> 10:59.839 I was made aware by the police that she was back living with him. 10:59.920 --> 11:05.000 And it seemed to me to be a very, very odd decision, indeed. 11:07.079 --> 11:08.920 He had told her he'd killed somebody. 11:12.600 --> 11:14.959 A funeral has taken place of a charity cyclist 11:15.040 --> 11:18.480 whose body was found three years after he went missing. 11:23.079 --> 11:26.440 The fact that she was still associating with Sandy 11:26.959 --> 11:30.719 certainly created in my mind a-- a nagging worry or concern 11:30.800 --> 11:37.400 that she may not be willing to participate as a witness at a later stage. 11:42.800 --> 11:47.040 She told me that she was moving back to the boys' estate. 11:47.839 --> 11:49.680 That sounded completely mental. 11:52.000 --> 11:54.079 I didn't know what she was doing. 11:57.400 --> 12:02.680 How do you think people will judge that decision to go back to the farm? 12:07.199 --> 12:09.560 My brain couldn't fathom and cope with the idea 12:09.640 --> 12:13.600 that the man that I'd fallen in love with was a murderer. 12:14.520 --> 12:15.760 And I was able to… 12:15.839 --> 12:18.640 Poor coping strategies or whatever, I was able to change my beliefs. 12:18.719 --> 12:20.560 I'd be like, "It's the parents' fault." 12:20.640 --> 12:24.280 "He had a bad childhood," "Didn't mean it," "Under the influence…" 12:24.360 --> 12:27.959 Or, "If I do this, I can improve, I can change this, I can control this." 12:30.839 --> 12:34.120 That little bit of your brain that holds onto this idea 12:34.199 --> 12:37.920 that, "Maybe I was wrong, maybe they are a good person," which is… 12:41.280 --> 12:44.360 And… we had a bond, 12:44.440 --> 12:47.079 which, obviously, is not healthy at all, 12:47.160 --> 12:50.000 but it was a bond, and there was an awful lot of love. 12:52.880 --> 12:55.240 Love is such a strong emotion. 12:55.320 --> 12:59.040 It pulls you away from the reality because reality is too painful. 12:59.959 --> 13:04.640 In this moment, I was desperate to see the good in Sandy. 13:08.440 --> 13:11.719 Deep down, she didn't want the reality to be that… 13:11.800 --> 13:12.839 Hello, friend. 13:12.920 --> 13:16.760 …this person that she'd fallen for had killed somebody. 13:18.920 --> 13:21.920 I think Caroline wanted, hoped, 13:22.440 --> 13:24.520 that Sandy had admitted it to her 13:24.599 --> 13:27.240 so that, actually, he could redeem himself. 13:28.440 --> 13:30.560 -You found it very hard to… -I did, yeah. 13:30.640 --> 13:36.520 I think she should just have cut the ties and… and distanced herself. 13:43.160 --> 13:47.120 So, at this point, we're still awaiting the pathologist's written opinion. 13:51.440 --> 13:55.400 The police did what they could to search for Mr. Parsons' possessions. 13:56.040 --> 13:59.599 But no trace of his bicycle or his equipment had been found. 14:01.719 --> 14:05.480 What they did discover was the vehicle that was believed involved… 14:06.959 --> 14:08.199 was Robert's vehicle. 14:08.280 --> 14:10.040 It's an Isuzu pickup. 14:12.360 --> 14:13.599 When examined, 14:14.120 --> 14:18.280 it became evident that the vehicle had been involved in a collision. 14:18.360 --> 14:23.120 The McKellar brothers had arranged to have the vehicle repaired 14:23.199 --> 14:28.000 at a remote garage where it would never normally go to be repaired 14:28.079 --> 14:31.920 at a time that was consistent with the aftermath of the accident. 14:32.839 --> 14:34.760 And, astonishingly enough, 14:34.839 --> 14:36.520 when the police went there, 14:36.599 --> 14:40.240 the mechanic was able to show them photographs 14:40.319 --> 14:43.640 of the vehicle as it had come into the garage. 14:43.719 --> 14:48.560 And the damage is perfectly consistent with a road traffic accident. 14:50.199 --> 14:53.000 As it transpired, the McKellar brothers told the garage, 14:53.079 --> 14:55.120 that they'd had a collision with a deer. 14:55.640 --> 14:58.120 They didn't want to claim on their insurance. 14:58.199 --> 15:00.120 It was a cash-in-hand job. 15:00.199 --> 15:03.599 All of which is plainly an attempt to cover 15:03.680 --> 15:07.520 their involvement in the accident involving Mr. Parsons. 15:08.560 --> 15:11.520 Now, because the vehicle had been repaired, 15:11.599 --> 15:14.800 that meant that there was not going to be a possibility 15:14.880 --> 15:18.360 of finding forensic evidence, say, paintwork from the bike, 15:18.439 --> 15:20.439 fabric from Mr. Parsons' clothing. 15:20.520 --> 15:23.079 Those sorts of things were lost. 15:23.160 --> 15:26.920 But the repair itself was highly significant, 15:27.000 --> 15:29.199 redolent of their guilt. 15:31.120 --> 15:35.319 All the little bits of the jigsaw were beginning to fit together. 15:36.400 --> 15:42.160 But it wasn't direct evidence that tied the McKellars into Tony Parsons' demise. 15:43.719 --> 15:48.599 It was clear to me that Caroline Muirhead was the foundation of this case. 15:48.680 --> 15:51.800 If we were to try to secure justice, 15:51.880 --> 15:55.680 we would need her in court to give evidence against the McKellars. 16:01.280 --> 16:03.880 The days were flowing into weeks, into months, 16:03.959 --> 16:09.400 and this harmonious little bubble was becoming more somber and quite menacing. 16:11.439 --> 16:13.120 I tried to go back to work, 16:13.199 --> 16:16.560 but I really wasn't in a fit state to practice. 16:17.319 --> 16:20.079 We all knew they were gonna get rearrested, 16:20.599 --> 16:23.199 but it just seemed to go on forever. 16:24.240 --> 16:28.599 Myself, Robert, and Sandy indulged in drugs and alcohol. 16:28.680 --> 16:31.319 Three-day bender, no surrender for me. 16:31.400 --> 16:32.640 Two for you. 16:32.719 --> 16:34.240 It was a way of escaping. 16:34.319 --> 16:36.719 Fuck off. 16:36.800 --> 16:38.160 Oh, fuck. 16:38.240 --> 16:40.560 But we were arguing much more. 16:40.640 --> 16:42.800 In the middle of fucking nowhere, 16:42.880 --> 16:45.120 and Sandy's in a cunt of a mood. 16:45.800 --> 16:48.479 Here I was, isolated on a farm, 16:50.160 --> 16:52.719 just in this haze and limbo, 16:53.479 --> 16:55.000 wasting my life, 16:55.520 --> 16:56.520 waiting. 16:58.959 --> 17:01.359 One night, we're playing Scrabble, 17:01.439 --> 17:04.319 and… then being high on drugs, 17:05.359 --> 17:07.760 he started talking about the case. 17:10.000 --> 17:11.880 And I clicked record again. 17:14.560 --> 17:17.119 See, when I hit him, we looked at each other and said, 17:17.200 --> 17:19.319 "What the fuck was that?" And he's like, "I don't know." 17:19.399 --> 17:21.440 Anyway, I thought it was someone homeless. 17:21.520 --> 17:23.760 I was like, "Who'd be cycling this time of night?" 17:23.839 --> 17:27.760 He then starts talking about the bike. "It's under a waterfall somewhere." 17:28.440 --> 17:31.640 I took it down, like, to the loch and tried to launch it. 17:33.320 --> 17:34.840 But the loch goes up and down. 17:34.919 --> 17:37.760 So I had to, like, swim in and get it. Fucking hell. 17:38.440 --> 17:40.440 Is that up by Loch Lyon? 17:40.520 --> 17:41.840 Hm. 17:43.040 --> 17:44.919 Have the police found that bike? 17:45.000 --> 17:47.440 I have no idea. Fuck knows. 17:48.040 --> 17:51.120 Then Sandy started to talk about the police investigation 17:51.200 --> 17:54.040 and conversations he'd had with his own lawyer. 17:54.560 --> 17:57.720 He says they might have one little thing, which is Caroline, 17:57.800 --> 17:59.440 but they've got nothing else. 17:59.520 --> 18:01.399 It's very circumstantial. 18:02.399 --> 18:06.000 There was an arrogance, almost disdain in his voice, 18:06.520 --> 18:08.520 of, "We've got away with this." 18:08.600 --> 18:11.880 "How did that man get there? Was it the boys?" 18:11.960 --> 18:13.200 "We don't know." 18:13.280 --> 18:15.440 There was no compassion, no remorse. 18:16.680 --> 18:18.560 Normal people don't do that. 18:21.120 --> 18:23.200 He was someone's husband. 18:23.919 --> 18:25.159 Someone's dad. 18:41.320 --> 18:43.399 It was a huge wake-up call. 18:44.960 --> 18:48.000 Who is this man? Who is this monster? 18:48.679 --> 18:51.080 Whoever I loved didn't exist. 18:53.080 --> 18:55.040 I was living a lie. 18:55.560 --> 18:59.159 And being high and drunk made that possible. 19:02.200 --> 19:05.840 I'd lost my sense of self and my sense of right and wrong. 19:10.919 --> 19:13.560 Anyways, that's good. Could be an option. 19:13.640 --> 19:18.000 After that, this false bubble of reality, I knew, was gonna burst. 19:18.080 --> 19:20.640 I'm not allowing you to completely ruin my life anymore, 19:20.720 --> 19:22.560 because that's what you keep doing. 19:22.640 --> 19:25.720 I finally just had to accept that he was never gonna change. 19:25.800 --> 19:27.800 And so I had to leave. 19:27.880 --> 19:31.080 -This really how we're ending it? -Yes, it was already ended. 19:31.159 --> 19:32.600 You're going to jail. 19:32.679 --> 19:36.840 You have literally ruined my life. Look what you've got me involved in. 19:38.120 --> 19:39.560 Get out! 19:43.159 --> 19:45.800 And I actually moved back to Glasgow. 19:47.760 --> 19:48.840 To my parents' house. 19:48.919 --> 19:49.960 Hello. 19:50.040 --> 19:50.880 Because… 19:50.960 --> 19:51.800 Hey, darling. 19:51.880 --> 19:53.120 …I'd given up my flat. 19:53.200 --> 19:56.040 Oh, Blue, hello. 19:57.960 --> 20:01.080 When she came back, it was such a relief. 20:02.800 --> 20:05.440 But very often she was up all through the night, 20:05.520 --> 20:08.280 and she was in her room all day. 20:10.480 --> 20:13.919 Being back at my parents' house forced me to acknowledge 20:14.000 --> 20:16.800 my behaviors and my decisions. 20:18.040 --> 20:20.760 I felt like I'd let a lot of people down. 20:25.840 --> 20:27.800 She was not in a good place at all, was she? 20:27.880 --> 20:28.800 No. 20:34.000 --> 20:35.880 Oh fuck. Cunt and shitty fuck. 20:37.200 --> 20:39.760 I just wanted the investigation to be over. 20:40.760 --> 20:43.600 Sandy had no idea about the recordings I'd taken. 20:44.600 --> 20:45.960 I thought to myself, 20:46.560 --> 20:50.560 "Maybe the investigation is taking so long because they haven't got the bike." 20:51.200 --> 20:56.520 Maybe the bike is vital, crucial evidence to the prosecution. 20:57.280 --> 21:02.760 And so I called up the detectives, and I said, "I have another recording." 21:02.840 --> 21:05.480 And two detectives came to my parents' house. 21:06.720 --> 21:11.480 I played them the secret recording where Sandy was talking about the bike. 21:11.560 --> 21:14.200 I took it down to the loch and tried to launch it, 21:14.280 --> 21:15.919 but the loch goes up and down. 21:16.000 --> 21:19.760 The police acted on that information and searched every waterfall. 21:19.840 --> 21:22.280 There are countless waterfalls on the estate. 21:22.919 --> 21:24.760 The police were keen to find the bike 21:24.840 --> 21:27.720 because there may have been paint from the vehicle that was involved on it. 21:28.480 --> 21:29.640 But… 21:30.320 --> 21:31.560 they found nothing. 21:35.320 --> 21:37.960 -Was the windscreen not fucked? -It was all right. 21:38.760 --> 21:40.679 Having to sit and listen to this recording, 21:40.760 --> 21:42.840 I can hear myself snorting the cocaine. 21:46.640 --> 21:47.560 It's vile. 21:48.240 --> 21:51.040 And I said, "Look, I need help." 21:51.919 --> 21:54.080 The detective said, "Have you not been referred 21:54.159 --> 21:55.800 to the Victim Support Service yet?" 21:55.880 --> 21:57.000 And I went, "No." 21:57.080 --> 22:00.200 He said, "You should have been with them from the word go." 22:07.280 --> 22:08.640 In Scots law, 22:09.360 --> 22:14.320 witnesses who are in relationships with an accused person 22:14.399 --> 22:16.919 are to be treated as vulnerable witnesses. 22:18.760 --> 22:22.399 The police and the Crown had a duty to provide… 22:22.480 --> 22:23.320 Fuck it. 22:23.399 --> 22:26.399 …emotional and mental support 22:26.480 --> 22:30.399 to Dr. Muirhead right from the very start. 22:31.000 --> 22:32.320 Let's go home. 22:32.960 --> 22:34.439 As I understand it, 22:34.520 --> 22:37.320 the relationship was not a lengthy relationship. 22:37.399 --> 22:39.600 It was a matter of weeks or months. 22:39.679 --> 22:41.880 I have no doubt that that played a part 22:41.960 --> 22:44.320 in the risk assessment the police made at the time. 22:44.399 --> 22:48.399 The length of a relationship bears no relation 22:48.480 --> 22:52.560 to the fact that she was a highly vulnerable person. 22:55.240 --> 22:58.439 We could have referred her to help, 22:58.960 --> 23:01.679 but you have to bear in mind that we're talking here 23:01.760 --> 23:04.120 about someone who is highly intelligent. 23:04.200 --> 23:06.320 She's a fully qualified doctor, 23:06.399 --> 23:09.679 someone who knows exactly what's available to her. 23:10.880 --> 23:14.720 Dr. Muirhead did not fit the police's stereotype 23:14.800 --> 23:17.080 of a vulnerable witness. 23:18.360 --> 23:24.200 And that's where the system started to let her down. 23:25.840 --> 23:31.120 I just think she was treated appallingly. 23:40.520 --> 23:43.439 Finally, the results of the postmortem came back. 23:44.240 --> 23:45.640 The forensic pathologist found 23:45.720 --> 23:50.439 that Mr. Parsons had sustained multiple blunt force trauma injuries, 23:52.080 --> 23:55.360 consistent with being struck by a motor vehicle. 23:55.880 --> 23:59.080 But they were injuries that did not indicate 23:59.159 --> 24:00.600 he would've died immediately. 24:01.679 --> 24:04.679 The pathologist's opinion was very clear. 24:04.760 --> 24:09.399 Mr. Parsons was still alive after the collision. 24:10.960 --> 24:16.320 Immediately, we need to have an expert in accident and emergency medicine 24:17.040 --> 24:22.000 to provide an opinion as to how long Mr. Parsons might have lived. 24:22.600 --> 24:26.240 The expert's opinion was between 20 to 30 minutes. 24:27.399 --> 24:30.600 It's utterly central to the jigsaw of evidence. 24:32.040 --> 24:34.280 In Scots law, you can commit murder, 24:34.360 --> 24:38.280 either intentionally or by what's known as wicked recklessness, 24:38.360 --> 24:41.600 the carrying out of an act where you don't care 24:42.120 --> 24:44.120 whether the person lives or dies. 24:47.679 --> 24:49.360 They don't call for assistance. 24:49.439 --> 24:52.280 They don't call the police, don't call the ambulance service. 24:52.360 --> 24:55.200 They don't take any steps whatsoever… 24:55.280 --> 24:59.439 …to give Mr. Parsons a chance at life. 25:00.040 --> 25:05.360 It's callous beyond… beyond anything that I can imagine, really. 25:07.399 --> 25:10.640 Finally, all the pieces of the jigsaw were in place. 25:11.280 --> 25:14.080 I instructed the police to arrest the McKellars. 25:15.240 --> 25:18.000 This was the most serious crime it could be, 25:18.520 --> 25:19.360 murder. 25:27.280 --> 25:29.080 Can you confirm your name? 25:29.159 --> 25:30.560 Alexander Gardner McKellar. 25:30.640 --> 25:32.640 Can I ask you your name, please? 25:32.720 --> 25:33.880 Robert McKellar. 25:34.560 --> 25:40.040 During the interviews, the police tactic was to try to humanize Mr. Parsons, 25:40.120 --> 25:42.840 try to unsettle the McKellar brothers. 25:42.919 --> 25:44.199 You know who that is? 25:44.280 --> 25:47.399 Look at that picture and think what you did to him. 25:48.000 --> 25:49.240 His family. 25:52.320 --> 25:53.600 I can see the photo. 25:54.240 --> 25:55.760 Can you see the man? 25:59.600 --> 26:01.720 Your actions could have kept that man alive, 26:01.800 --> 26:04.080 and you chose not to. 26:05.040 --> 26:09.560 Police play a recording Caroline Muirhead had made of Sandy to him. 26:09.640 --> 26:12.439 We seized a laptop, which was later examined. 26:12.520 --> 26:14.520 On this laptop were several recordings… 26:14.600 --> 26:16.120 It was quite clear, 26:16.199 --> 26:18.320 from the way Sandy reacted, 26:18.399 --> 26:20.480 that he knew nothing of the recording. 26:20.560 --> 26:23.040 And you can see that in the way he cracks his knuckles. 26:23.120 --> 26:24.679 …one of the audio clips in here. 26:27.120 --> 26:29.320 Because it was either my life or his. 26:30.600 --> 26:33.240 Fucking stupid cunt shouldn't have fucking been there. 26:34.080 --> 26:35.840 He was plainly shocked by it. 26:36.760 --> 26:40.800 It doesn't sound like me, to be honest. It sounds like it's been messed with. 26:41.320 --> 26:42.439 In my opinion, 26:42.520 --> 26:46.560 Sandy's body language, his reaction to the tape recording, 26:46.640 --> 26:49.320 was going to be dynamite in front of a jury. 26:49.399 --> 26:52.040 Have you no regrets about what you've done? 26:52.120 --> 26:53.080 No comment. 26:57.080 --> 26:58.720 Twin brothers have been charged 26:58.800 --> 27:03.159 in connection with the death of a cyclist reported missing four years ago. 27:03.240 --> 27:05.480 Alexander McKellar and Robert McKellar 27:05.560 --> 27:07.120 were charged with murder. 27:07.640 --> 27:09.720 Both were remanded in custody. 27:10.840 --> 27:13.080 My phone went, and it was one of the detectives. 27:13.159 --> 27:17.080 And he called me and said, "Caroline, we just wish to inform you 27:17.159 --> 27:19.240 that the boys have now officially and formally 27:19.320 --> 27:21.360 been charged with the murder of Tony Parsons." 27:23.679 --> 27:26.880 And he said, "Look, Caroline, they'll be held in jail now." 27:27.640 --> 27:29.240 "A trial date will be set." 27:31.360 --> 27:33.520 "You'll be called as a witness." 27:34.600 --> 27:36.480 There was a… a relief, 27:36.560 --> 27:40.600 but there was also, then, that huge, impending anxiety 27:40.679 --> 27:43.199 and apprehension of the murder trial. 27:43.800 --> 27:47.199 I recognized I was gonna get torn to shreds. 27:50.040 --> 27:53.240 The most common question one gets is, 27:53.320 --> 27:57.840 "How can you defend people who are accused of murder?" 27:57.919 --> 27:59.159 My answer to that is, 27:59.240 --> 28:02.880 "It's not my job to decide whether the person is innocent or guilty." 28:02.960 --> 28:06.720 "My task is simply to represent someone to the best of my ability." 28:07.960 --> 28:10.480 When I first met Mr. McKellar, 28:10.560 --> 28:14.199 he no longer disputed that he and his brother 28:14.280 --> 28:16.679 killed and buried Mr. Parsons. 28:16.760 --> 28:18.560 On his instructions, 28:18.640 --> 28:21.640 I approached the Crown offering a plea of guilty 28:21.720 --> 28:23.960 to causing death by dangerous driving. 28:25.240 --> 28:29.240 But I was informed that such a plea would not be accepted. 28:29.760 --> 28:32.840 The Crown intended to proceed with a charge of murder. 28:34.080 --> 28:37.480 The Crown's principal sources of evidence 28:37.560 --> 28:41.240 were the statement from Caroline Muirhead 28:41.320 --> 28:43.439 that there had been a confession 28:43.520 --> 28:46.760 that Mr. Parsons had been alive at the time of the collision, 28:46.840 --> 28:51.199 a matter which I think it's only fair to say Mr. McKellar totally disputed. 28:52.040 --> 28:54.840 The other evidence was a report 28:55.439 --> 29:00.199 saying that it was theoretically possible Mr. Parsons had survived the impact. 29:00.280 --> 29:04.879 But the Crown's expert was really expressing an opinion. 29:04.959 --> 29:10.280 It was not sufficient, in my view, to take the Crown to a charge of murder. 29:11.560 --> 29:15.919 Their entire case, in my opinion, was built around one witness. 29:17.679 --> 29:20.360 And in my opinion, 29:20.439 --> 29:24.840 Miss Muirhead was unreliable as a witness. 29:27.800 --> 29:30.720 Following the arrest, I'm still in this limbo. 29:30.800 --> 29:33.240 Until it's resolved in the courts, 29:33.320 --> 29:38.600 you still haven't shaken off that shadow of what's happened. 29:39.280 --> 29:41.280 It's a very long waiting room. 29:49.600 --> 29:53.320 All great stories do not start with, "I bought a box of home hair dye," 29:53.399 --> 29:55.280 but I went, "Do you know what? Fuck it." 29:56.840 --> 29:57.679 Wow. 29:58.840 --> 29:59.679 Wow. 30:01.120 --> 30:04.639 I didn't want to even think about my old life or my old reality. 30:04.720 --> 30:06.120 It is bad, isn't it? 30:06.760 --> 30:09.439 The trial date was set for July. 30:09.520 --> 30:11.800 I was told I would be cross-examined 30:11.879 --> 30:13.480 by both Robert's barrister 30:14.080 --> 30:16.240 and then Sandy's, back-to-back. 30:16.959 --> 30:20.399 I'm worried that they will destroy my character to such an extent 30:21.040 --> 30:24.159 that I might never be able to practice medicine again. 30:24.679 --> 30:25.760 And, you know, 30:26.560 --> 30:28.240 the human brain can do 30:29.120 --> 30:31.560 some really wild things when it's under pressure. 30:32.600 --> 30:34.159 Doing a 1:00 a.m. hike. 30:34.240 --> 30:36.879 I started hanging with a crowd in Glasgow I shouldn't have been with. 30:36.959 --> 30:38.760 Talk to me, baby 30:39.320 --> 30:41.439 And I turned to drugs and alcohol. 30:42.959 --> 30:44.280 Namely, cocaine. 30:45.720 --> 30:47.159 I was on a path of destruction. 30:48.360 --> 30:50.280 Caroline, when I first met her, 30:50.360 --> 30:53.399 was the last person on earth who would have ever taken drugs. 30:54.000 --> 30:56.639 But after she met Sandy, 30:56.720 --> 30:59.080 she'd been taking drugs pretty regularly. 30:59.159 --> 31:03.159 That had coincided with her life completely spiraling out of control. 31:03.240 --> 31:06.600 This is why I don't do ketamine. 31:07.080 --> 31:10.399 There's been times she didn't come home, 31:10.480 --> 31:13.480 times when we… we thought we'd lost her. 31:16.280 --> 31:18.159 According to a number of witnesses, 31:18.760 --> 31:21.360 Miss Muirhead was significantly under the influence 31:21.439 --> 31:23.399 of both drugs and alcohol. 31:23.919 --> 31:28.480 That would, in my opinion, impact upon a jury's view 31:28.560 --> 31:32.919 as to whether what she was telling the police was, in fact, accurate or not. 31:34.320 --> 31:39.959 That, together with Miss Muirhead's decision to continue the relationship, 31:40.040 --> 31:41.679 would be the starting point 31:41.760 --> 31:45.760 of discrediting Miss Muirhead as a witness. 31:46.800 --> 31:51.760 If the jury could not be satisfied about her evidence, 31:51.840 --> 31:55.280 then that would mean they could not convict of murder. 31:56.719 --> 31:59.199 At this point, I am saying repeatedly, 31:59.280 --> 32:01.760 especially to the Victim Support Services, 32:01.840 --> 32:04.040 I am not in a fit place to do this. 32:05.320 --> 32:07.000 I was concerned about her. 32:07.080 --> 32:08.840 I was concerned for her. 32:08.919 --> 32:11.199 But she had placed herself in a situation 32:11.280 --> 32:14.840 where the Crown had no option other than to compel her to come to court. 32:15.879 --> 32:19.199 And I wrote a letter to her explaining that. 32:20.040 --> 32:23.159 This letter, it said, if I didn't testify, 32:23.240 --> 32:25.600 I'd be held in contempt of court. 32:25.679 --> 32:29.600 It was, "You do this, or you'll end up in jail yourself." 32:29.679 --> 32:32.040 I was just trying to help her. 32:32.560 --> 32:35.240 Because I'm looking at this situation, thinking, 32:35.320 --> 32:37.280 "You're about to throw your life away." 32:37.360 --> 32:39.399 "You're a young, intelligent woman 32:39.480 --> 32:41.639 with a fantastic career in front of you, 32:41.719 --> 32:45.120 and you're about to literally pull the pin on the grenade and go, 'Boom.'" 32:48.480 --> 32:50.719 There are ways to convey 32:50.800 --> 32:57.679 the consequences of not turning up without it being blunt. 32:59.080 --> 33:00.560 As a Crown witness, 33:00.639 --> 33:05.000 Dr. Muirhead should have been offered the special measure 33:05.080 --> 33:08.679 of having her evidence taken by a commissioner. 33:09.560 --> 33:12.439 It's a procedure for vulnerable witnesses 33:12.520 --> 33:16.879 where the evidence is recorded long before the trial process. 33:17.480 --> 33:20.439 In my view, she didn't fit the criteria. 33:20.520 --> 33:23.000 I'm a prosecutor. My job is to prosecute people. 33:23.600 --> 33:28.120 Her giving evidence in person would be much more impactful to a jury. 33:29.240 --> 33:31.959 I wasn't the strong person who'd gone to give them evidence. 33:32.040 --> 33:34.439 I was this pathetic waste of space. 33:36.199 --> 33:40.600 What if I actually am so discredited they lose their case? 33:46.560 --> 33:49.399 Twin brothers are due in Glasgow High Court today, 33:49.480 --> 33:52.919 accused of killing a cyclist and covering up their crime. 33:53.719 --> 33:57.320 Alexander and Robert McKellar face life imprisonment 33:57.399 --> 34:01.080 if found guilty of murdering Anthony Parsons. 34:02.560 --> 34:04.840 You have in the dock 34:04.919 --> 34:07.560 a man accused of killing somebody 34:07.639 --> 34:11.239 and the person who's gonna testify against him, 34:11.759 --> 34:13.639 the woman he was going to marry. 34:14.719 --> 34:18.839 Whether you, uh, view court as a spectacle or not, 34:19.440 --> 34:21.360 you know, that is high drama. 34:23.199 --> 34:26.639 If the Parsons family were to see justice done, 34:26.719 --> 34:30.440 Caroline's testimony was going to be absolutely crucial. 34:31.560 --> 34:35.760 I thought that being a woman of significant intelligence, 34:35.839 --> 34:38.799 she would be a difficult witness to cross-examine. 34:38.880 --> 34:42.880 I anticipated that she would be quite volatile. 34:43.480 --> 34:47.159 Nothing suggested she was going to be an easy witness to deal with. 34:49.799 --> 34:51.880 I woke up early hours. 34:52.400 --> 34:54.360 My mum's laid out an outfit. 34:54.880 --> 34:58.839 I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, "That doesn't even fit me anymore." 35:01.760 --> 35:05.839 It's an extraordinary feeling, really, being in the court of justice. 35:06.440 --> 35:08.799 As people begin to gather, 35:08.880 --> 35:10.360 from the lawyers 35:10.440 --> 35:12.720 to this poor man's family, 35:13.720 --> 35:16.319 there's a rising sense of expectation. 35:19.360 --> 35:22.440 And then the accused are brought up into the dock. 35:23.319 --> 35:26.200 These country lads are wearing their best suits. 35:27.480 --> 35:29.520 They've had nice new haircuts. 35:30.080 --> 35:33.440 It's a moment of real tension. 35:37.080 --> 35:38.440 I was so ashamed… 35:38.960 --> 35:42.480 …of who I was and what I'd become. 35:42.560 --> 35:43.640 Court. 35:44.520 --> 35:46.400 And you're waiting for Caroline… 35:49.319 --> 35:50.799 to take the stand. 35:50.880 --> 35:52.600 Call the diet. His Majesty's Advocate 35:52.680 --> 35:55.920 against Alexander McKellar and Robert McKellar. 35:57.839 --> 36:01.360 And I just thought I was going to let everyone down. 36:02.799 --> 36:04.080 And I just panicked. 36:10.720 --> 36:13.400 I wanted to get as far away from there as possible. 36:19.799 --> 36:24.000 There was a sense that something had gone wrong for the Crown. 36:24.080 --> 36:26.360 -Advocate Depute. -Thank you, My Lord. 36:26.440 --> 36:27.440 I regret that I move 36:27.520 --> 36:30.120 that the case be adjourned until tomorrow morning. 36:30.640 --> 36:31.960 Very well. 36:34.360 --> 36:37.319 The no-show on the first day of the star witness… 36:39.880 --> 36:42.040 it… it's just extraordinary. 36:50.240 --> 36:52.600 The phone went. It was the police. 36:52.680 --> 36:56.080 "She hasn't turned up. Where is she?" And I'm saying, "She's not here." 36:56.799 --> 36:58.720 And now I don't know where she is. 36:59.839 --> 37:01.960 You're having to stop your mind catastrophizing 37:02.040 --> 37:05.560 about what might have happened or where she might have gone. 37:09.480 --> 37:13.480 I just had this crazy notion that if I found that bike, 37:13.560 --> 37:15.040 maybe it'd all be okay. 37:15.120 --> 37:18.440 I know where the bike is. That's something else. It's not just me. 37:18.520 --> 37:22.920 You know? It's not just the word of a crazy person. 37:23.680 --> 37:27.359 There might be proof they haven't found that they did do this. 37:30.000 --> 37:32.920 And so there wasn't much sense in it. Of course there wasn't. 37:34.120 --> 37:36.799 So, basically, no signal. 37:37.600 --> 37:39.160 So no one knows I'm here. 37:39.839 --> 37:41.560 To get to that waterfall… 37:42.080 --> 37:42.920 Slight issue. 37:43.839 --> 37:45.160 …that's a long walk. 37:45.240 --> 37:47.200 If I go all the way round with the flooding, 37:47.280 --> 37:49.040 that'll take another 40 minutes. 37:49.799 --> 37:50.720 But… 37:50.799 --> 37:51.680 Let's go. 37:51.760 --> 37:54.040 …I had half a bottle of wine once I got out of the car. 37:54.120 --> 37:56.280 The adrenaline was coursing through me so much. 37:56.359 --> 37:58.240 Fuck. 37:58.319 --> 37:59.880 Shit, man! 38:00.799 --> 38:03.120 I'm getting to that waterfall, getting that bike. 38:03.200 --> 38:04.640 No one's gonna stop me. 38:04.720 --> 38:07.680 I'm gonna show the police. I'm gonna do their job for them. 38:08.280 --> 38:10.280 Three miles in to an 18-mile hike. 38:10.799 --> 38:12.319 I haven't got much time. 38:13.080 --> 38:15.560 I was taking snaps of myself. 38:15.640 --> 38:17.160 Didn't send them to anyone. 38:18.160 --> 38:22.319 And I think there was this, "Look at me and look at what I'm about to do…" 38:22.400 --> 38:26.319 And, "I'm this victim. Like, look what people have done to me." 38:26.400 --> 38:27.359 What now? 38:28.359 --> 38:30.760 When you start something, you've gotta finish it. 38:30.839 --> 38:32.240 You're… 38:33.000 --> 38:34.319 I'm not sane. 38:36.839 --> 38:40.560 You know, this was my home. I lived here, I love it. 38:40.640 --> 38:42.359 I lost everything. 38:44.040 --> 38:45.680 I miss it so much. 38:50.760 --> 38:54.200 It would be fair to say on that first morning when this happened, 38:54.280 --> 38:59.880 the defense team was a bit more upbeat than the, uh, prosecution team. 39:00.640 --> 39:03.720 If your key witness is not prepared to take the stand, 39:03.799 --> 39:04.920 that's a problem. 39:05.880 --> 39:09.520 Dr. Muirhead did not appear in answer to her citation. 39:10.680 --> 39:12.600 A warrant was sought for her arrest. 39:14.520 --> 39:17.120 She had been sighted on the estate. 39:19.160 --> 39:20.480 Hello! 39:21.440 --> 39:23.200 I've only done seven miles. 39:23.880 --> 39:26.080 I was supposed to testify, what, three hours ago? 39:27.040 --> 39:28.160 The hours are going by. 39:28.760 --> 39:29.920 They'll be looking for me. 39:31.600 --> 39:33.600 All the cars are going to come along there. 39:34.200 --> 39:37.480 I've still got another, what, seven miles to get to the dam? 39:37.560 --> 39:40.000 Then I heard the low hum of the helicopter. 39:40.080 --> 39:41.160 I mean, it's echoing. 39:42.280 --> 39:43.799 They're coming, boys! 39:43.880 --> 39:45.359 Run into the barn. 39:46.799 --> 39:48.280 Seeing that helicopter 39:49.280 --> 39:52.640 took even, like, whatever little bit of rational thought there was there, 39:52.720 --> 39:54.200 and then it was gone. 39:54.280 --> 39:57.080 I'm so fucking lucky I got here before they did. 39:57.600 --> 39:59.799 I'm under a table, I'm in a shed. 39:59.880 --> 40:01.080 There's nobody here. 40:01.600 --> 40:03.720 There's no trace of me, right? 40:05.920 --> 40:09.359 For me to get to this waterfall, I am running out of time. 40:11.560 --> 40:13.960 I needed a faster form of transport. 40:15.600 --> 40:18.000 Oh my God. See if the keys are in this. 40:18.080 --> 40:19.160 Oh my God. 40:20.120 --> 40:23.000 Fucking idiots left the keys! 40:23.720 --> 40:25.920 Now, I have no idea how to drive a tractor. 40:27.720 --> 40:28.920 Shit! 40:29.000 --> 40:30.720 Turn around, and there's the manual, 40:30.799 --> 40:33.240 still in its plastic casing, in the back seat. 40:33.319 --> 40:34.640 And I went, "Right." 40:34.720 --> 40:36.600 With the manual on my lap, 40:36.680 --> 40:40.560 putting the key in, being like, "Turn this, do that," then… Vroom! 40:41.839 --> 40:44.280 I have stolen 40:45.280 --> 40:46.560 a tractor. 40:49.040 --> 40:53.080 Oh… my… fucking… 40:55.319 --> 40:56.640 God! 40:56.720 --> 40:58.520 Whoo! 41:00.760 --> 41:03.160 I drove the tractor to where the waterfall nearly is. 41:03.240 --> 41:04.880 Blocked the road. 41:05.839 --> 41:07.839 Now the police can't get past me. 41:09.480 --> 41:10.319 Fuck. 41:11.960 --> 41:12.839 Like… 41:14.040 --> 41:17.160 I mean, this is crazy! 41:19.160 --> 41:21.960 We see right there, there's a wee cave bit behind. 41:22.480 --> 41:25.280 And the pressure of the water, when you throw the bike down, 41:25.359 --> 41:27.000 it churns it up into the back. 41:27.080 --> 41:30.319 And… if that bike is still there, 41:31.359 --> 41:33.160 I'm going to try and find it. 41:33.680 --> 41:35.319 I'm wading through the water. 41:35.400 --> 41:38.799 I mean, the water is freezing cold. 41:41.799 --> 41:44.520 And the shock of the cold water 41:45.359 --> 41:48.120 actually made me very emotional. 42:14.080 --> 42:18.040 In that moment, my brain was working so fast. 42:18.120 --> 42:21.880 Not logically, but so incredibly fast. 42:21.960 --> 42:24.359 I thought, "Do you know what? Fuck it all." 42:25.760 --> 42:27.799 "Non, je ne regrette rien." 42:41.920 --> 42:43.000 Mania. 42:43.680 --> 42:44.880 Psychosis. 42:48.120 --> 42:49.839 And that's what I'd become. 42:51.440 --> 42:54.799 You're an hysterical, broken person. 42:59.160 --> 43:02.120 Don't let anyone else 43:02.200 --> 43:04.799 get abandoned and broken like me. 43:06.240 --> 43:10.000 I have just fucked my whole life up. 43:10.640 --> 43:12.240 For what? 43:12.319 --> 43:15.319 For a man who actually killed somebody. 43:15.839 --> 43:19.520 And that grief, and that loss, and that stress 43:19.600 --> 43:21.920 culminated into that 43:23.319 --> 43:25.480 psychotic finale. 43:28.440 --> 43:31.520 I need to know if the bike is here. 43:32.040 --> 43:35.080 If there is something more than me. 43:35.160 --> 43:40.160 I did not start a murder trial for something I didn't fucking see. 43:53.560 --> 43:54.960 I am found at the waterfall, 43:55.040 --> 43:56.920 and I am then arrested 43:57.760 --> 43:59.440 for contempt of court. 44:01.000 --> 44:02.120 I never found the bike. 44:06.400 --> 44:08.760 I then get taken to the High Court. 44:30.400 --> 44:32.120 I'm sitting there, waiting to testify. 44:34.040 --> 44:35.080 And I'm thinking, 44:35.760 --> 44:40.920 "My mum and dad will be so angry and upset with me." 44:42.640 --> 44:45.240 The police called… 44:45.319 --> 44:46.160 Oh, yes. 44:46.240 --> 44:48.600 …and said they found her. 44:50.640 --> 44:52.319 She faces prison. 44:54.839 --> 44:55.920 I was just 44:57.080 --> 44:59.160 stunned by the whole situation. 44:59.240 --> 45:00.839 I couldn't cope with it. 45:02.000 --> 45:06.080 So much of her young life has been wasted 45:06.160 --> 45:09.600 by this sequence of events. 45:09.680 --> 45:11.040 That pains me. 45:11.120 --> 45:12.520 Because, you know… 45:14.080 --> 45:16.799 young life is to be lived. 45:17.839 --> 45:20.240 And that… 45:20.319 --> 45:21.760 …hurts me. 45:32.879 --> 45:36.160 The next day the court reconvenes. 45:36.240 --> 45:39.680 I've heard various rumors why Caroline hadn't shown. 45:40.240 --> 45:42.319 Someone told me she'd been in the cells overnight. 45:45.680 --> 45:46.960 Court! 45:47.640 --> 45:49.200 Sat in the court. 45:49.280 --> 45:52.120 We thought we were getting a live court case. 45:52.200 --> 45:54.839 And it… it… it worked in a completely different way. 45:54.920 --> 45:56.160 It was very unusual. 45:56.240 --> 46:00.120 I can advise that there has been a development in the case. 46:01.080 --> 46:03.879 I was waiting for the guard to take me to testify. 46:13.839 --> 46:15.280 And in front of the court, 46:15.359 --> 46:19.560 the prosecutor requests that the indictment is amended. 46:20.080 --> 46:23.520 My Lord, in relation to charge number one, 46:23.600 --> 46:27.640 in line 11, to delete the word "murder" 46:27.720 --> 46:30.000 and substitute the word "kill." 46:32.200 --> 46:34.560 It's very significant indeed. 46:34.640 --> 46:38.040 The murder charge has become unsustainable. 46:38.680 --> 46:43.960 I have instructions to tender a plea of guilty to charge one. 46:44.040 --> 46:46.879 I received a telephone call from the prosecution. 46:46.960 --> 46:50.480 If Mr. McKellar was prepared to plead guilty to culpable homicide, 46:50.560 --> 46:52.640 the Crown would accept. 46:53.240 --> 46:57.160 Culpable homicide is a crime less than murder. 46:57.240 --> 47:00.640 Those pleas are acceptable to the Crown. 47:00.720 --> 47:05.359 Because a plea was agreed, then there is no trial. 47:08.080 --> 47:11.879 The twins Alexander and Robert McKellar had been due to stand trial 47:11.960 --> 47:14.080 for the murder of Anthony Parsons. 47:14.160 --> 47:15.839 But today, here at the High Court, 47:15.920 --> 47:19.240 at the start of what was expected to be a lengthy trial, 47:19.319 --> 47:24.280 Alexander instead pled guilty to the lesser charge of culpable homicide 47:24.359 --> 47:27.799 whilst his brother Robert admitted to teaming up with Alexander 47:27.879 --> 47:30.440 to hide and then bury the body. 47:33.480 --> 47:37.240 The court official said to me that "The boys have accepted a plea." 47:37.879 --> 47:39.560 "So you are free to leave." 47:41.400 --> 47:44.400 "And you don't have a criminal record for contempt of court." 47:49.879 --> 47:52.600 "And the Parsons family want to thank you very much." 48:00.799 --> 48:03.440 -Did you go to the sentencing? -I did. 48:04.160 --> 48:07.600 It was the final door to close. 48:07.680 --> 48:09.640 Call the diet. Adjourned diet for sentence. 48:09.720 --> 48:10.799 His Majesty's Advocate 48:10.879 --> 48:13.160 against Alexander McKellar and Robert McKellar. 48:13.240 --> 48:14.120 Please be seated. 48:15.480 --> 48:18.359 From where I was sitting, I could see Sandy. 48:21.319 --> 48:22.160 And that… 48:23.440 --> 48:24.839 was really overwhelming. 48:25.600 --> 48:27.200 Mr. McConnachie. 48:27.879 --> 48:30.240 Sandy's barrister read a statement 48:30.319 --> 48:32.200 on Sandy's behalf to the judge. 48:33.480 --> 48:36.960 He accepts that whilst catastrophically injured, 48:37.040 --> 48:40.200 Mr. Parsons was alive at the time. 48:41.000 --> 48:42.280 The only explanation 48:43.480 --> 48:49.160 which he offers is simply fear and panic. 48:49.240 --> 48:54.400 Using his words, he says he was too much of a coward to come clean. 48:54.920 --> 48:58.040 When he met Caroline, 48:58.120 --> 49:00.160 and she went to the police, 49:00.240 --> 49:04.040 he fully accepts that, ultimately, 49:04.120 --> 49:07.160 she made the right decision in doing so. 49:09.120 --> 49:12.319 Very well. Alexander McKellar and Robert McKellar, please stand. 49:13.200 --> 49:16.200 Then the judge gave out the boys' sentences. 49:17.680 --> 49:19.240 Robert McKellar, 49:19.319 --> 49:21.520 the sentence which I now impose on you 49:21.600 --> 49:25.640 is one of a period of imprisonment of five years and three months. 49:25.720 --> 49:27.600 Alexander McKellar, 49:27.680 --> 49:32.080 you have pleaded guilty to grave and serious crimes. 49:32.160 --> 49:34.520 He wasn't convicted of murder, 49:35.400 --> 49:38.120 but he did take an innocent man's life. 49:39.680 --> 49:42.240 So for me, he's a coward and he's a killer. 49:43.120 --> 49:44.160 Alexander McKellar, 49:44.760 --> 49:50.000 I will impose on you a single sentence of imprisonment of 12 years. 49:51.480 --> 49:52.920 That is all. 49:58.879 --> 50:01.600 At sentencing, a friend of Tony Parsons said these boys 50:01.680 --> 50:03.240 had got away with murder. 50:05.120 --> 50:08.960 There was a sense that without Caroline's evidence, 50:09.040 --> 50:11.400 the full facts of this case, 50:11.480 --> 50:15.000 the full horror of it, perhaps, never quite got across. 50:18.240 --> 50:23.720 I can well imagine that the family feel there hasn't been a closure, in a way. 50:25.600 --> 50:27.480 If people think or wonder, 50:27.560 --> 50:30.480 if I had testified, would they have had a harsher sentence? 50:32.040 --> 50:33.359 The state I was in, 50:34.319 --> 50:35.240 who knows? 50:38.120 --> 50:41.839 Had Caroline Muirhead decided to say nothing, 50:42.520 --> 50:46.040 then Mr. Parsons would still be buried on the estate. 50:46.640 --> 50:49.520 She did absolutely the right thing. 50:50.160 --> 50:54.120 You have to applaud her bravery, 50:54.799 --> 50:57.480 but the pressure must have been unbearable. 50:57.560 --> 51:00.399 You'd be a hard person indeed not to sympathize with her. 51:00.480 --> 51:03.200 Does part of you sympathize with Caroline Muirhead? 51:03.280 --> 51:04.120 No. 51:04.200 --> 51:06.240 The whole circumstances 51:06.319 --> 51:10.080 in which she did not deal with things 51:10.160 --> 51:13.120 in a manner which people would expect her to, 51:13.200 --> 51:15.000 take away, I think, 51:15.080 --> 51:19.040 from any sympathetic view I might feel about her. 51:21.120 --> 51:25.720 If the criminal justice agencies 51:25.799 --> 51:29.560 want people to come forward as witnesses, 51:29.640 --> 51:33.040 they have to do better at every single stage. 51:34.399 --> 51:37.680 There needs to be a real awareness 51:37.760 --> 51:42.600 of the trauma experienced by witnesses. 51:52.000 --> 51:54.760 I have no regrets about coming forward. 51:55.280 --> 51:58.280 This is what happened to me. It's my story. 51:59.680 --> 52:01.720 I just hope other people can learn from it, 52:01.799 --> 52:03.600 so they don't make the same mistakes I made. 52:03.680 --> 52:07.319 Because, my God, I made a hell of mistakes. 52:14.920 --> 52:18.560 I am so lucky to be able to move forward in my life. 52:20.160 --> 52:21.960 I've moved to the coast. 52:22.040 --> 52:24.280 I've managed to get myself clean. 52:26.399 --> 52:28.319 I now see a psychiatrist. 52:30.240 --> 52:33.200 And I tackle a lot of the insecurities that led me 52:33.280 --> 52:36.040 to be in the vulnerable relationship to begin with. 52:38.399 --> 52:41.520 Change… 52:41.600 --> 52:43.120 Three, two, one, smile! 52:44.560 --> 52:47.839 I've got a much better relationship with my family. 52:48.760 --> 52:49.879 Like skin… 52:49.960 --> 52:51.080 I met someone new, 52:52.120 --> 52:55.080 who is incredibly kind. 52:55.839 --> 52:57.160 When you love yourself, 52:58.319 --> 53:00.359 you will attract healthy love. 53:00.440 --> 53:01.520 Like the leaves… 53:01.600 --> 53:03.480 Onwards and upwards. 53:03.560 --> 53:04.640 Like a butterfly… 53:04.720 --> 53:07.399 -That's it. -Thank God. 53:08.040 --> 53:09.240 Would you live forever… 53:09.319 --> 53:11.160 -We're done. -We're done, Caroline. 53:14.960 --> 53:20.680 While everything around passes? 53:22.640 --> 53:28.040 Would you smile forever Never cry? 53:29.480 --> 53:35.040 While everything you know passes 53:37.160 --> 53:43.240 Death's like a door 53:43.319 --> 53:50.120 To a place we've never been before 53:51.399 --> 53:56.760 Death's like space 53:58.200 --> 54:00.520 The deep sea 54:01.799 --> 54:04.240 The suitcase 54:05.920 --> 54:11.160 Would you stare forever at the sun 54:12.920 --> 54:17.560 Never watch the moon rising? 54:19.960 --> 54:25.319 Would you walk forever in the light 54:26.960 --> 54:33.280 To never learn the secret Of the quiet night? mily.