I, um…
I've been thinking.
Now that we're both being completely open.
Hmm?
Well, I think now might be the time to…
-To open the relationship? I don't. -No, I didn't mean that.
Two of my friends have tried it, and it was a big mistake.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
No, I've been thinking that maybe we could tell my father we're together.
I see.
Wouldn't it be better to wait?
Well, I like you. A lot, Ivo. And I don't want to lie.
Neither do I.
Except about your dachshund.
I just think it's better to, um, keep it quiet for now.
Until it's all… certain.
You mean until your project is sold?
That is not… Oh! You don't really think that, do you?
-Ivo, I'm not trying to insult you, but… -Mm.
You like your project a little more than you like me.
No, no, no. As much as you.
You more. I prefer you, Roos.
So much more. I swear, Roos.
Yeah, sure, Ivo!
ROOSTERS
Hello, my Goodlifers.
I woke up like this, and look how radiant I am.
Ha! Not true. It's just a filter. See?
Ta-da! Here. This is the harsh reality, friends.
My face right now is all crumpled. Dark circles and puffiness.
So yeah.
My girls, stay true to yourselves.
Don't fall for the fake.
Never. Nope.
#RealLifeWithStevie.
It takes some getting used to. The honest content.
Sweetheart! I was thinking, I'm gonna call about an appointment
so we both can get checked out.
"Checked out"?
Yeah, because we're thinking about becoming a mom and dad now, right?
Oh! Uh, by the gynecologist. Yeah, good idea.
After you turn 35, I hear the quality of your eggs goes right downhill.
Yeah. "We," honey. You too.
Nah. Babe, men can have children their whole lives.
Well, yeah, but age isn't everything, is it?
Lifestyle is also really important.
Don't expect me to start drinking acai juice.
I don't. I'm sure we'll be fine.
It's just, I have many friends in their forties who had to try forever.
-That's not the end of the world. -Mike, I'm calling. I can go there today.
And we'll just keep practicing for now. Okay?
-Hey! Hristo! -Oh!
You don't have chairs in Bulgaria?
-I make window clean. -You're making the chair dirty!
Idiot.
Oh, I'm sure we can get this situation taken care of--
-Mike. -Mike.
-Come in. -Hey.
-So… -Yeah. Um…
All right. What ended up going on between you and Kristel?
Yeah, so, uh, I think it's, uh, good that we can discuss amongst ourselves.
I think there might've been a bit of a misunderstanding.
-Don't worry. -Hmm?
I promise we treat harassment cases like yours seriously, Mike.
Although this is the first time that a man has been harassed by a, well… a woman.
-Yeah. -But that doesn't make it less serious.
No. I want to clarify something right away.
-Mm-hmm? -"Harassment"?
That is a rather strong word.
"She asked me to come to her house, and when we finished work,
she opened a bottle of wine and made me massage her feet."
-Yeah. She was just tired, I'm sure. -Hmm.
We men obviously don't know what it's like to walk around in heels, do we?
"When we drove to a meeting, she put her hand on my upper thigh."
Her intentions were good.
Be that as it may, at one point you do say that she had forced you to undress.
You know, "forced," "forced"…
"She bought me a new shirt and asked me to try it in front of her."
-I could've gone to the toilet. -That's not what you say.
-Don't I? -Mike.
You're not retracting your story due to pressure from Kristel, are you?
Oh, no…
Ah, no, no, no. No, absolutely not.
Then what is this? A… a false report?
No, it's… it's not false. No.
-Mike? -It… it's… a bit complicated. Okay?
Do you need psychological support to do this?
It was awkward.
Uh, but…
Mike, we got it. Thank you. It's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. Mm.
-Hey. -Hey.
Is Roos not in today?
No, she's sick.
Did she say anything to you?
Yeah. That she's sick.
Yeah, right. She's playing the victim so she can tear me apart.
Maybe she's sick. Isn't that possible, dude?
She's sick of him.
What a loser.
Yeah. You're ruinin' your shot with the boss's daughter, idiot.
If Levi finds out, I'll… I'll lose my project, guys. Then--
Get down on your knees. Apologize. I don't know. Figure it out.
Oh! It's from Roos. I gotta go.
This is great. Don't worry about it.
No hard feelings.
I'm chill.
-You reacted emotionally. I forgive you. -I want you to delete that video.
Um, what video?
The one with the permission to have sex.
Oh. Yeah. The "active consent."
Sure. Not a problem.
-I'll do it now. With you as a witness. -Mm-hmm.
Uh…
What is it?
Um… I left my phone and my charger… back at work.
Fuck.
Hey! Have you found any phones in the office?
No.
No? Are you sure?
And you haven't… put it in that dress of yours?
This? No. This one is my phone.
Mm.
What are you gonna do now? Date them both?
What did I do?
This is a terrible mess.
You've gotta choose.
Will you go for the silver fox or for the young pup?
I've been wondering what Dan is up to.
I saw him when we were out the other night.
-A pup with silver hair. -No. He was really different.
-Oh? -Yeah.
Sweeter? I don't know. He had a different look too.
Oh, it's because of his roommate sitch.
What, Mike?
No. He lives with his business partner.
Greg says he's got new friends and he's totally into the gay scene too.
-Dan? -Yeah.
Since the course, it's like all of them are gay.
-I did it! -Great! Ten more, sweetie.
And then just like that, parallel pro.
-Dan is not gay. -Mm, you never know.
With Greg, it wouldn't surprise me at all. Seriously.
He's not interested in sex.
He's always at the gym. He wants to talk about his feelings.
No, I know straight guys that wanna do that too.
Mm.
Shit, Pam. And I just thought of something else.
Greg also does a lot more than me around the house these days.
Shouldn't you, uh, be with Tess?
Mm. She'll never learn like that.
No. I didn't ever molest Mike at work. I just wanted to sleep with him.
Why is that suddenly a problem, Theo?
I'm sorry, did you forget that you ended up marrying your secretary?
Oh, now…
-That was a long time ago, wasn't it? -Yes.
We don't blame you, Kristel. But there's a company protocol to follow.
I work 14 hours a day for this company. You know I do.
Who can I date if not someone working at the office?
The problem, Kristel, is that, as the boss, you have leverage over Mike.
I'm the CEO. I have leverage over everyone here.
So, who am I able to sleep with? You guys?
You're making this quite hard, Kristel.
Oh, right. Very well. I guess I'll make it easy for you.
I quit.
Bye, gentlemen.
Well, what can I say?
You're not surprised?
No. When I saw you taking your toothbrush and packing up your things,
I, uh, thought there was something.
-Armand, you are such a wonderful man-- -Mm.
-You deserve a woman-- -No, I don't need your sympathy.
I know you want to… finish packing and, uh, head back home.
Is there someone else?
Yeah.
Ah. Younger?
It's not hard to be younger than you.
I've tried monogamy, but it's just not for me, Armand.
-Hi. Hey. -Hey. How was the clinic?
-I was lying there, you know. -Mm-hmm?
-And I just felt so happy. -Yeah?
Yeah. That everything's turned out so well.
And you and I are embarking on this enormous adventure, hand in hand.
Yeah, well…
What is it?
Uh, I've been, uh… been promoted to CEO.
-What?! -Yeah.
Oh my God! Oh my God!
That's fantastic! Congratulations! Mike, that's amazing!
-Yeah, but I'm also shocked. -Yeah! Andrea! Champagne!
-Mike got promoted today! -Whoo!
Mr. C-E-O.
-My love. -Mm.
-At last, we are both doing well. -Yeah.
-Hey! -Hey! Ho!
-I'm so thrilled for you, sir. -Mm. Thanks.
-Get yourself a glass, Andrea. -Uh-huh.
You're saying there's a chance there's a video circulating your office
in which the daughter of the boss demands you give her a good…
-That's what I said. -They'll think that you did it on purpose.
-Yeah. -Revenge or something.
-Yeah. Revenge porn is a serious problem. -Yeah.
-I tell ya, the stats are scary. -Ah…
But isn't it pretty hard to break into someone's phone?
-Well… -Do you have a biometric key?
What's that?
It unlocks your phone with your face or your print.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, guys. I mean, of course I have that.
Hey, where are we getting drinks?
I can't. I have a wine tasting to go to. I'd be sorry to miss it.
Uh, and… and what about our beer tasting Dan?
-Yeah… -He's going with his new friends.
-What? Come on. -You like them better than us, don't you?
Hey. That's not it. It's just sorta… different.
Yeah, you do.
You know… you know what Harm did when I moved in?
He threw me a surprise party. And Mike? What did you do? Huh?
Hey, you just appeared on my stoop.
So…
Ah, let him go.
The three of us have fun together.
What did you say it was?
The butt plug.
You still have it? I thought you didn't exactly love the experience.
Yeah, I didn't. But what if he's using the butt plug with someone else?
Come on, now, Merel.
What? I told him to get rid of it, but then I find it buried in the closet?
That means nothing.
You were ranting that Greg doesn't throw anything out.
That was old Sports Illustrated issues.
Merel, I have to go now. This is ridiculous. Greg is a hetero.
-Well, you broke up with the old man. -Mm.
My dad is heartbroken. Yeah, it's a bit sad.
Look, he can find someone his age, you know?
What? You're dumping me too?
I'm grateful to you, Enzo. You spared me a considerable regret.
Yeah, my father.
Being a mother.
I actually thought it might be for me for a second,
but thanks to you, I know that I don't want children.
That is a weight off my shoulders. Wow.
Mm. Hmm. Hmm.
Hey, but, wait, Pam, you can't be serious.
You don't want either of us?
Pam, you don't care that my family is completely destroyed now?!
And this wine is full of… earthy notes and lots of minerals.
You may feel a slight tingling, which can happen with organic wine.
And the bouquet is, um, very surprising. What are you getting?
I got leather.
It's a little smoky. Tobacco-like. Chocolate. Is that there?
-Hmm. -Yes, it is.
Yeah, it's good.
Danny's straight. His palate might not have developed yet.
Don't let these queens get to you. Oh, I'm Marcel. Hey.
Danny. Harm's, uh… straight best friend. So, yeah.
Wait, I thought I was.
No one is 100% straight.
Come on, Frank, leave the guy alone.
Why? He's a grown man. And what a man at that.
The only thing I know for sure is that women turn me on.
But come on. Haven't you been with a man?
No.
-Never? -No.
Aren't vaginas exhausting?
Straight men do experiment, Danny.
Yeah. In prison, there's a lot of that.
-That only goes on in bad movies. -Mm.
But why are there so many stupid taboos with straight men?
Whatever you do is the norm,
and yet you still can't be honest about sex?
Or your feelings?
Hey, Danny over-expressed his feelings the other day.
Yeah. Uh, sorry again, guys.
-Hey, I'm kidding. Don't say sorry. -Oh.
But come on, I'm sure you've jerked off in front of your friends.
No.
-No? -No, not… not really.
Oh, "not really"? Come on. You can tell us the real story.
-Yeah. We won't tell anyone. -Nope.
Uh… yeah, one time…
when I was 12 or so, just for a laugh, but that doesn't mean I'm a homo. I'm not!
-Oh, you sound so sure, Dan. -Don't sound so judgmental, okay?
-I thought you took those courses. -Yeah.
Well, you're only truly deconstructed once you've been in bed with another man.
The next wine is, um, a Rioja.
And you'll notice it's a heavier wine.
Hey!
You okay?
Hey, hey!
-What are you doing here? -We're interested in your new friends.
And we know you love surprises, right?
Harm! Hey! Hey.
Look. Sorry. But this is… this event is for personnel.
We're not allowed?
And besides, you guys don't like wine, do you?
-But we like you. -Yep.
And we're open to trying new things.
Yeah, no. Seriously, guys. I'll see you tomorrow.
-Okay? Come on. Out. Go! -What are you…? Danny.
-Good night. -You're throwing us out?
-Yeah. See ya. -What?
Good night. Buh-bye.
So the group is fucked now.
Hey…
-Oh. -Where were you?
Uh…
With Danny.
-Oh. What were you doing? -Mingling with his friends.
By "mingling," you mean…?
Ivo wants us to be "open to new experiences."
Were you open, Greg?
Yeah.
-Greg? -Hmm?
Honestly… are you gay?
Because I've thought about it, and it's okay.
I want you to know that I am open-minded.
I just need some time. As long as you're using protection.
I'm not gay.
When we tell the kids, just take it slow, all right?
I'm not gay!
Greg, I'm sure they'll accept you. Just calm it down.
I'm not gay!
Hey, Dad. No problem.
I'm not gay!
Why are you sitting here all alone?
-Here. -Oh. Just sending a text.
-Where do these rank? -The top.
-Yeah? -Yeah, they're great, um…
Ah.
The only issue tonight is I gotta keep peeing.
I'm with ya.
-Hey. -Hey.
Told you. We keep peeing.
-What're you doing? Huh? -Shh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Whoa.
Oh, amigo.
Pfft.
Turn right, around the corner.
Good morning. Um, Pam Zeverts?
Yep, got you right here. Zeverts.
And who'd you like us to call when your operation is done?
-You don't have to call anyone. -It's protocol.
Okay.
Mike.
Hey, Dan. Listen.
Dude, Pam is at the gynecologist with a huge stack of papers.
-Is she pregnant? -I don't know.
She could be thinking about getting pregnant. They do IVF here.
Hm. Is that fossil there too? Tell me if that asshole is there.
How should I know? I'm here to see the urologist.
-Fossils are everywhere. -You're at the urologist?
Oh, I'm losing you. What?
Whoa, Mike.
You've gotta follow her, please. I need to--
Go ahead and put the gown on. Someone will get you shortly.
It opens in the back.
Hey, Mr. Sommelier.
Mm.
How we feeling?
First, coffee.
Have fun with Marcel last night?
He just told me you've arranged to meet later.
-No. -Hmm?
You gave him my cell?
I think Marcel did that once he helped tuck you in.
You're not gonna ghost him, are you? That's not nice.
But nothing happened.
I mean, uh…
He… he gave me, uh…
Um…
What? I thought you do that a lot.
That doesn't necessarily, you know…
-Nothing else happened. -Danny.
Does the term "affective responsibility" register?
What?
Your actions created expectations for him. Regardless of intent.
Harm, I'm straight, though.
Marcel is too.
Is Roos still sick?
No idea.
Oh.
Why are you always asking about Roos these days?
Oh… I, uh… um… I'm a hypochondriac, and, yeah…
If she actually has a virus, we really need to know, right?
Ivo! Can I have a minute?
Yeah.
That was a bit much, wasn't it?
So we think that, uh… the scale of the model affects the perception…
Levi? Hi.
How are you? You good?
Ivo, um…
Do you know whether or not Roos is all right?
Roos, Roos, Roos, Roos… Which Roos?
-My daughter. -Oh! Sure.
Yeah. Uh, my colleague Roos. Yeah.
Did she say anything to you? You two are in close contact.
No. Close…?
I'm worried about her. Is there anything I might need to know?
Um… we… we're not that close, actually.
We… We text every so often.
Uh, we send memes and stuff. But we're not that…
-Ivo, can I trust you? -Yeah.
Roos has been through a lot.
I just hope she knows enough not to hook up with a worthless loser again.
-"Again"? -Her ex talked her into anorexia.
She's been… well, severely addicted to antidepressants.
Professionally, she's as tough as nails.
However, emotionally, she's easily broken.
I… wish I'd known how unstable she is.
Yes. "Unstable."
-That's the word. -Ah.
-Urinary tract looks good. No infections. -Oh. That's great.
You have one million sperm cells per milliliter.
Oh! Okay. That's… damn good, a million.
It's, uh… not very much.
Fifteen million is average.
Furthermore, the cells' morphology is abnormal,
and their mobility is greatly reduced.
No two ways about this, Mr. Mulder, uh…
Commonly, people call this condition "lazy seed."
The chance that a pregnancy will occur without medical help is very unlikely.
Things have been more demanding at work,
so I bet that's been really bad for my sperm, right, Doctor?
Not like this.
How about a prescription? Pills? Something?
We can analyze the sperm further. Um…
And determine then what the best reproductive technique…
Hey.
Hey, Marcel. How goes it?
-Great. -Yeah?
How are you?
Oh, whoa! Miss, a beer for… for my, uh… pal? Buddy?
Well… How'd you sleep?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, okay, Marcel… um, listen.
Last night I was a little drunk. A lot drunk.
But I wasn't myself, so… so you might… have the wrong impression.
-You're referring to the end of the night? -Shh! Shh!
You sounded into it.
Well, that's not the point now.
-I'm straight as they come. -Me too.
Well, sure, but it's different with me. Look, I'm a… straight dude.
I am just super straight, so…
What's the problem? You liked it, didn't you?
Thank you, gorgeous.
So… wanna go to your place?
What? No!
-No. -I have a family.
It's a bit of a hassle, but I can make it work.
-I'm a hetero. -Mm-hmm. You've got my number.
If you change your mind.
Danny.
I am calling to inform you that the operation went well.
-Operation? -The hysterectomy.
Ms. Zeverts has you as the contact person on her forms.
Honey, I am fit!
I have the ovaries of a 20-year-old and an AMH of 2.0.
No idea what that means, but the doctor said it's "bizarrely good."
Whoa.
Wow.
Fantastic, sweetheart. Fantastic.
-Yeah, right? -Yeah.
The acai shakes weren't for nothing.
And how about you? Any news?
Yeah. I'm perfect too. Millions of those sperm cells.
-Serious? -Yeah. I was so happy, I…
I left the results at the… the place.
Ah. We can look in the app, then.
Yeah, that's right. I, uh… haven't downloaded it.
Should we go out tonight?
Tell me the truth. Did you go?
Yeah, of course. Here.
This, um, is… the message from the… appointment.
-Yes. -Yeah.
-Oh my God. We look like horny teenagers. -Yeah.
-I hope it's a boy. Don't tell anyone. -Yeah? Isn't that sexist?
I don't care. A handsome, tough guy? I want that.
Yeah.
He'll have his dad's genes, so I'm not worried.
Hmm?
Sometimes we walk Hand in hand by the sea
And we breathe in the cool salty air
You turn to me with a…
Hey.
You came… for me.
Yeah.
That's what friends are for.
Hmm.
It's wonderful, wonderful
Oh, so wonderful, my love…
-Hey, brother. -Mm.
-Mm, little bro. -Hey, man.
-How are you? -Yeah. Yeah. It's…
Mm.
How you doing?
Ah, you know. It's quiet. Too quiet. Very boring.
Hm.
And you? I was surprised you called me. I thought you, uh… forgot about me.
No. I paid for your rehab. I couldn't forget that.
-Yeah. -And you, are you clean?
Unfortunately. I have a dog.
-I do a loop every day. -Mm-hmm.
Actually, now I'm a total square.
-Congratulations. -Ah.
Ah. You know… Mm.
Anyway… why'd you wanna meet?
Well, uh… don't get scared. I have a… question. It's personal.
Happen to know what your sperm count is?
Some quiet evening I sit by your side
And we're lost in a world of our own
I feel the glow of your unspoken love
I'm aware of the treasure that I own
And I say to myself
It's wonderful, wonderful
Oh, so wonderful, my love
And I say to myself
It's wonderful, wonderful
Oh, so wonderful
My love onderful