#GOODLIFE WITH STEVIE
MOVING
Should I take these to the closet, Ms. Stevie, or…?
Upstairs. If they don't fit, try the garage.
-Uh-huh. -How much stuff do you need?
They send it to me for free.
Well, they did anyway. That's over.
Hristo gets to stay, and you're booting me out? That stings.
Why do you need two cleaning people? What is this, Downton Abbey?
No, man. Stevie couldn't bring herself to fire him, I guess.
Mm. But it was easy to kick me out, huh?
Nobody's kicking you out.
All I said was… maybe this is the perfect moment
to begin searching for a new home.
-Mike? -Yes?
Can your gym clothes go in the hallway closet?
Yeah, of course. Do what you want.
Friends are more than just a temporary replacement for a girlfriend.
Whatever, dude. Danny, you just showed up one day.
You invited yourself in, right? Huh?
What are you doing? Hey!
-This is coming with me. -No, but…
-You don't have to leave now. -No. I know when I'm not welcome.
-I need a hand! -Yeah, just a sec.
-Hey, Kristel. -Can I interrupt your day for a sec?
Yeah, yeah, of course. Sure. We're both workaholics, aren't we?
I reread the Roosters pilot one more time for good measure.
I do still have a few notes.
I thought it was fully approved.
Yeah, but this character Mark doesn't seem all that believable.
-He seems… dumb. -Dumb?
-Yeah. -Okay.
Why would anybody follow a loser like that?
Yeah, okay… I could make--
-This is mine too, Mike. -Hey! You're getting water everywhere.
-Come on, man! -Mike?
Sorry. Okay, why don't I, uh… come by the office later this afternoon sometime?
I'm working remotely today, but, um…
there's always my house.
Oh, your house?
Well, sure. We could have a bite to eat, then go over the script again.
-Yeah. -I'll message you my address.
Okay, sounds good.
What was that about? Oh, nothing. Nothing. Just work.
I am so happy you're actually back. Mwah.
Uh…
That's right. This is mine.
Just relax, man. Okay, look. You don't have to leave right now.
Mm? It's fine. Listen… Danny, take it slow. There's no rush.
All right.
ROOSTERS
Ah, yeah!
You like that, huh? Four-two. Hand over the ball. Our turn to serve.
Hey, speaking of handing over your balls, Stevie and you are really back together?
-Greg, come on, now! -Yeah.
Does she know what's going on with your boss?
You mean the boss that keeps calling me on my day off?
Just get it over with and do her on the copy machine!
Or… you could just go tell your boss that you're no longer available.
No wonder there's nothing going on in your "open relationship," Greg.
-Can we please just play? -The opportunity hasn't come along yet.
Or maybe you need to practice picking up on signals, bro.
-What signals? -When a woman wants you, Greg.
Body language. Obvious tells.
She laughs at your jokes.
She messes with her hands. She plays with her hair.
She spills a whole cup of coffee on your shirt.
Oh, super like!
-Here we go. -Give me a break.
Look, he's beaming!
-Holy shit… -What?
It's Desirée.
Which Desiree?
-His Desiree? -What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you serious?
Did you like her too? What's going on?
Out of politeness, yeah. But she hit me with a super like.
-She wants to grab a bite to eat. -What the fuck, Danny?
-Then I won't do it. Whatever. -But you were going to, weren't you?
-What are you guys laughing at? -I just… whoa, whoa…
Ief…
So this is what you mean by an "open friendship."
-Let's see. I wanna see. -Look. Oh God. It's so…
Whoa.
You all right?
Yeah. Yeah. All good.
I have a feeling I overwhelmed you a bit with the baby stuff.
-No, Armand. -No? Okay, good.
Mm-hmm.
Look.
FERTILITY CLINIC
An old study buddy of mine works here.
He can get us an appointment as soon as we want.
Okay. Yeah.
Now I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed.
Oh.
Yeah.
Is it Enzo?
Huh? What? No.
Uh, what do you mean?
Not a big fan, are you? I can kind of tell, Pam.
Uh…
Well, it's not… I don't have a problem with Enzo.
He just seems a bit confused.
Yeah. You know, Enzo's basically a child still.
-A child, yeah. Basically. -Mm.
But he told me recently that he, um…
That he met someone.
-Ah. That's wonderful. -Yeah. Isn't that nice?
-Mm-hmm. -I'd make a good grandpa!
Congrats. You banged a kid with family problems.
Pretty sure that means you're officially a MILF.
I'm not a mother. Well, not yet.
ILF, then.
Jesus, am I nuts? I shouldn't be doing something like this.
Wait, let's talk. Can we stop for a sec? I need to catch my breath.
-We've been running for ten minutes! -Yeah, I'm dying here!
"Preventing Toxic Masculinity in Children."
Yes, most of these problems are best solved early.
And that begins with education.
I took a course with Bram myself, and it was… outstanding.
So I thought, this could work for kids.
Start them young, you know?
Yeah, it… it looks like a good idea, Greg.
-Very modern too. -Yeah?
Sorry, it's… I better not miss this. This is Bram.
Uh, no… No, I'm not. I can talk.
Bram is a real performer. I know you'll love what he does.
I'm booked that weekend…
-You're full of surprises, Greg. -Hmm?
I wish more parents were this proactive about issues
with their children.
I mean, I'm a man of action.
Mm. Uh…
Okay, I've thought about your situation, and I've come up with a theory.
-Okay. -I think you're afraid to have a child.
So you've been sabotaging your relationship with Armand.
Really. You're afraid if you became a mother, you wouldn't be yourself.
-How so? -Your priorities would change.
Your body, your job, your sex life.
-No, no, no. That's so ridiculous. -It's true.
I just wish I had someone who could offer some razor-sharp analysis on my life too.
I moved on from Danny because he was always so immature.
How'd I wind up here?
Um, you know, I like you this way, Pam.
You're more human. Not so prim and perfect.
'Kay, let's go.
Ugh, for God's sake. Pfft.
-You still upset? -Jesus, Roos.
You upset? Better count to ten.
Sorry. It's my bad.
I should've been honest.
I don't want secrets between us either.
This isn't the right place to talk about it.
Oh. Um…
In that case, um…
We'd be better off meeting in private.
Oh, yeah… That… Yeah, I'd… That, um…
Yeah. That sounds fine.
Um…
When should I come over, then?
Why don't we meet at yours?
-At mine? -Yeah. I wanna see your digs.
-Uh… -Got something you've been hiding?
Uh, nah. No, no, no.
Okay.
This is serious, Tess. I really like Roos.
She wants to come over, but she doesn't know I live
in the same damn house as my ex.
Look, Mom can't see you with somebody else right now.
It hurts her way too much.
I'm home.
-Hello? -Hi.
-Doesn't she have a date tonight? -Oh. I'll check for you, okay?
She just writes 'em down there? Think I'm not hurt by that?
There's a date with some guy called Daan, but it's crossed out in marker.
Hey, man. I've been thinking a lot, and I want to say sorry.
That weird outburst over Desirée was sexist and possessive.
So, um, I think you guys should go out together.
Have any plans for tonight?
Tonight could work. But how bad does she want it?
I mean, is she into me, or was it more of a polite super like?
I've always been so bored with you, Torvald.
Even you standing there makes me uneasy.
I hate how you… speak, how you eat…
I hate how you breathe too.
I miss living.
Kiss me.
-Ugh… -Stop! Stop!
No, no, no. Come on, Merel! I don't believe a goddamn word of it.
-I don't feel motivated for the kiss. -I can see that.
I mean, he could be my son. He's so young.
It's theater!
It's about your imagination. Yeah?
-Okay, okay. -Go ahead.
Okay, okay, okay.
-I've always been-- -Hang on. Wait. Stop.
Have you ever…
Have you ever felt truly confined in a relationship?
-Yeah. -Without passion?
-Oh, sure. -The fury. The powerlessness.
The despair and the suffocating fear that you will never be in love again!
-I got it, yeah! Goddamn it! Yeah! -That's it! Yes!
I miss living!
I wanna feel again!
I'm sick of feeling nothing! Kiss me!
-That was good. -Hi.
-Uh, hey. -Hey.
-Sorry. I feel bad. I'm sorry I… -Yeah.
I feel like I lost myself, or… got absorbed in the role, I don't know.
Don't worry, it's all good.
-Okay. -It's all good.
Yeah. I will say, I didn't see the tongue coming, but, uh…
But it totally worked.
You know, for the scene.
-So… a beer anybody? You? -Yeah.
-Come. -You picked a Monday to go out? Really?
-What are you doing? -These flowers are too pretty.
-In a bachelor pad, nothing blooms. -I live here too, Dad.
Jesus. This hair! God. Is your mother shedding, or what?
Ooh, your girlfriend's here!
-Hey. -Hi.
How are you?
-Good. -Yeah?
-Hey, oh gosh. Tess, right? -Mm-hmm.
I've heard so much about you.
-Really? -Yeah.
Yeah, my father's an open book.
-Oh? -Yup.
Uh, better start that homework. Yeah. I have lots to do.
-Yeah. -'Kay.
-See ya. -Bye.
You… You have a nice house.
You do all the decorating?
Yeah. Uh, who else?
Hardly a bachelor pad. It's lovely.
Well, what can I say? Chalk it up to that course I took.
Yeah. Oh, wow, my mom has these exact scented candles.
They're really nice. Is this, uh, lavender or fig?
Fig.
It's lavender.
Uh, yeah, I just switched. Yeah, I, uh, I switch every season.
Hmm.
Oh, uh, all this… yeah. The hair is all Dee's… uh… uh, uh, my dog.
Uh, she's a long-haired dachshund. She's mine. Eh, Desirée.
-Oh, that's so cute. -Yes.
Uh, where is she, then?
Upstairs. Yeah, uh… she's a shelter dog, so new people are tricky for her.
You know, she can be a little…
But if I get to come over more often, she might get used to me, right?
She's also blind. And, uh, sick… Crippled.
-Really? -Yeah.
Thank you for your flexibility.
Yeah.
I have a feeling you hate the nine-to-five mentality like I do.
Some things just can't be put off.
Oh, Tobias, this is Mike. Mike, this is Tobias.
-Yeah. Hi, I'm a… colleague of your mom. -Yeah, sure.
Whatever.
Yeah. Mm.
He should be at his father's today, but something came up.
Unfortunately, my ex isn't as flexible as we are. But, well…
-That's why he's my ex. -Yeah.
Right, so… let's talk about the character Mark.
Change my mind.
-Mom, I'm on duty. Bother Merel with this. -She won't pick up the phone!
I don't know what you did, but these kids weren't raised right, Greg.
They won't listen. They don't wanna shower.
They don't wanna sleep. They don't wanna eat.
-You two, knock it off! -Jason and Sky! Listen to Grandma!
It's the same thing every time with Merel.
I get one message from her and then total silence.
-She's at practice. -At 10:30 p.m.?
Four-five-three. Public intoxication.
Copy. Let us know if you need additional units.
I'm gonna hang up now. Merel's probably on her way home.
Police, stay where you are.
Dude!
Merel?!
Hey!
Ah, shit.
No, no, no. Chill. Chill. Chill.
Just relax. It's my husband and his… mistress.
Uh, Merel! Jesus, what… what are you… Throw the joint away!
Only if you drive me home because I'm so bushed.
We have an open marriage.
Mm-hmm.
I think she thought you and I are… Like we're that…
Listen, it's not like we'd be the first police duo to uh…
You know?
I don't.
It's just really hard to find a place of your own in this world.
But yeah, I am gonna find my own apartment very soon.
I meant more… facing your loneliness.
It's a huge part of growing up.
You know, you might wanna try…
well, the old ten-bodies remedy works miracles.
Actually, I'm only on number eight… and I'm already feeling… reborn.
No. No, thank you.
-Seriously, though, I'm doing fine. -Mm.
No, really. Sure, I miss Pam. But I did stop waiting by her office.
I don't virtually stalk her anymore via WhatsApp.
I don't think I can anyway, because her read receipts are off.
Ever heard of sertraline?
Who's that?
An antidepressant.
Sorry, but you're definitely not going to be number nine.
Sorry. I, uh… I, uh… I'm gonna use the bathroom for a sec.
Perfect.
Pfft.
-Hey. -Jesus, Danny.
What are you doing? Are you following me?
It's fate, Pam.
This is life trying to tell us something.
Nah, I don't think it is.
You with Grandpa still? How's that been?
-Yep. -Hmm.
And it's really good.
Okay. Well deserved.
-At this point, I feel sorry for you. -Well, you don't have to.
Just wanted to say sorry.
Really.
Only a real douchebag would hurt a woman who loves him that much.
-We all make mistakes once in a while. -Right.
-But I never deserved a woman like you. -That's obvious.
Come here.
The check, sir.
Sorry, um… we're about to do dessert.
Oh, the woman that was with you took it to go.
She said you would settle the bill.
Oh. Okay.
Trust me, I can tell when he really likes someone and when he's just being polite.
-I'm his daughter. -Mm.
Honestly, right now I think he'd take you over me.
Nah.
Looks like we're done eating, right?
It's… so nice you could see my house and all.
Now, uh… I guess I better clean up a little.
Oh gosh, you gotta be getting tired too.
Oh, we're… done? Okay. Um…
Uh, I'm… I'm not sleeping over?
Uh, no, no. I have a huge day tomorrow, and Desirée, uh, my…
Oh… my dachshund, she needs her evening walk.
But isn't she crippled?
Uh…
UberEats? Uh, we didn't put in an order. Maybe the neighbors?
You really don't want to screw with me.
He's so wimpy. Trust me. I wouldn't bother.
Uh…
-Good night. -Uh…
Well, now that we're done working, these can finally come off too.
Nice.
You good at massages?
What? Uh…
No.
Why don't we find out for sure?
Oh!
You dirty liar.
You could charge real money for this, you know.
That's what my girlfriend says.
My girlfriend, who I'm dating.
Why are you bringing that up all of a sudden?
I… I have to say this, Kristel.
Uh…
Look, I do feel a… certain chemistry between us.
-Right? But, I didn't want to take… -You were sending signals.
No, you were. To me. Coming from you, so to speak.
And I'm really flattered by your… interest in… in me.
Mike… did I massage your feet, or did you massage mine?
-I did yours. -Mm.
But I just… I felt so… pressured to, I didn't wanna disappoint--
Oh, when else did you feel that pressure?
Maybe with the escort you brought to the premiere?
Or… when you took your clothes off, knowing I was watching?
You feel it then too?
Yeah, but… You're sorta twisting it.
Well, it almost sounded like you were about to make some accusation
of inappropriate conduct.
Oh, God, no. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
-Oh. Well, perfect. -Mm-hmm.
I can't believe you guys! That was terrible advice!
Did you tell her you're back with Stevie, or what?
Yeah, but… but she turned it around on me.
She implied I was harassing her!
And now I'm gonna get let go all 'cause of you!
Wait, Danny, I thought you were planning to sleep with Desirée?
Yeah. I was just kidding around, guys. Ugh, I'm not really into her.
We're talking about Kristel!
Uh, sorry, guys. Um, I better hang up. Merel's kinda sick.
You might wanna contact HR, Mike. Before she tells on you.
Yeah.
-Hey, Mikey boy. -Hey.
-What can I do for you, son? -Yeah, question.
How would you report an official case of, um, sexual harassment or abuse here?
Um… how exactly does that work?
Uh, the person who was harassed would have to go to HR.
-HR? -Yeah.
-Okay. -Why do you ask?
Okay.
Astrid's still on maternity leave for a while.
Seriously. Why do we still hire women, huh?
-Don't worry. I got this. -Uh, are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious. I took all the courses.
So… tell me who you harassed. Go on.
Uh, I'm on the receiving end.
Wow, must be nice. Go you.
So who is it?
Uh, Kristel.
Wait, what? Our boss, Kristel?
Um… are there any other Kristels here?
Holy shit. I think about her a lot at night when I, you know…
-Write my complaint down. -Yeah. Right, got it.
How does it feel to be a man?
TOXIC MASCULINITY
A NEW ERA A NEW MAN
That's not a question with a simple answer in our world.
Every one of you is a sexist. You can't help it.
I'm wondering if… he should have simplified it a little for this audience.
No way. Just look, they're loving it.
They've never been this quiet.
Come on.
For one, you avoid emotional vulnerability…
Yeah, I hope this course of his works.
It's time to free the kids from these… these roles and patriarchal patterns
we've been subjecting them to.
Yeah, I'm trying to do what a lot of fathers won't.
Encourage that extra dose of self-reflection.
Oh, yeah. No, exactly.
You know what, Greg? Your commitment to helping your son,
it's really admirable.
Hmm.
-What are you doing? -What?
What? No. I was just… I was, uh…
CHIEF
I… I have to…
I have to take this.
Hi, chief.
Don't worry, Mike. I'll take care of it.
Mike, can we speak for a moment?
-Yeah, of course. -Come.
I want to apologize for my behavior last night.
I admit it. I am attracted to you.
Oh…
I thought the feeling was mutual.
Look, I'm sorry, Mike, if my behavior ever…
made you feel unsafe, then I'm truly sorry.
Well, um…
Unsafe, that's…
With the hours we spend in the office, it can be hard to, um,
meet someone outside of work.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
And speaking for myself, most of the time I feel… yeah… lonesome.
-Don't send it. -What?
The email. Just don't send it.
I… sorry. It's too late.
You have to stop it! Fuck. Just press delete!
-Do it! Delete it! -I can't delete it.
It's an email, not WhatsApp.
Ugh. She thinks I'm a liar.
I screwed up really bad.
Why didn't you tell her the truth?
Oh, yeah… uh, oh, I forgot to tell you,
you can't come over because I'm still living with my ex.
That'd be a disaster.
I have an idea. Hey, Ma!
You're lucky that I even considered helping you
with this bullshit you put me through.
Listen, this job is important to me. Do you have any idea what I earn?
Uh… never mind.
Okay, sounds like you owe me a trip to Curaçao, then.
It was four years ago that he broke up with me, yeah.
No, uh, you left me. She cheated with my orthodontist.
I kept the house back then, and Ivo was the one who moved out.
-And then we got back together briefly. -Mm-hmm.
That's when he met you and decided to leave me all over again.
No. I broke up with you first… then Roos came along.
Please, the facts are important.
I'm sorry, Roos. The truth is… I really like you.
And I only lied because I was afraid I'd lose you if I decided to be up front.
Okay.
Thanks for being honest with me.
I'm also really happy I got a chance to meet you.
And now that I have… I wanna meet your dog.
Uh, yeah… Mm.
-Hey, Pam. -Jesus.
-Enzo, you almost gave me a stroke. -I saw you running.
I thought I'd say hi.
Hey, explain to me why you told your father that you met someone.
We should spend a weekend together somewhere.
I don't know if you have mommy issues, or if you hate your father, or both.
But the bottom line is, I don't need you making my life more complicated.
This is the type of relationship that starts complicated
but ends up being great.
I could be your mother, you know.
I am your mother. Sort of, anyway.
Showing up on your bike to harass me
isn't gonna help the situation at all… Enzo.
Where are you going?
So, you and Nadja. What happened?
And be honest. Don't give me any nonsense.
Nothing, we make a good team, Chief.
Really. We do CrossFit together. Every day, bright and early.
-Was that her idea? -What do you think? It was mine?
Nadja just put in an immediate request for a new partner, Greg.
-So, I've got to split you up. -What?
But… But… Who am I supposed to take on patrol with me?
Yücel!
-We're a real crack team. -Mm-hmm.
-Me and you. Am I right? -Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You know, you and Nadja…
It wasn't… It wasn't meant to be.
Couldn't pick up the signals, dude.
Maybe mine come through a little clearer?
Yep. Yep, I'm on it.
-Yeah. -Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. I'm reading you.
Here's your doner.
-Hey, hon. -The parents' WhatsApp group.
Have you checked it?
No, why?
Why do you silence your phone all the time, Greg?
336 messages?
-Yeah. -Can you sum it up?
That idiot Ms. Barf came up with a workshop to castrate our son.
Serious.
There's an emergency meeting tonight. All the parents are filing a complaint.
-Hey, man. How'd it go? -Hey. What?
Wasn't it today? You had an apartment viewing with some realtor?
Oh, yeah. No, it was good. Thanks.
-I should be going. -Sure. Quick glass of wine?
-No, thanks. -Mm.
If you want more information on the apartment, just gimme a call.
Yeah, sure, but I'm gonna…
I'll let you know. See ya.
The housing market is just stuck. It's murder out there.
Yeah… Well, it feels like something else is stuck too.
Right, honey?
Oh, this is so nice.
Hey, Harm. Danny here… I, uh… About what you mentioned the other day.
That open room… Mm. You still looking?
Sorry.
Look, that one "birds and the bees" program,
I could get on board with, but what's this?
Yeah, what's the problem with my son liking cars?
-Yeah. -Or goofing off?
-He can't be a little boy? -Good question.
-That's not it at all. -Then what's the deal?
-I can explain, just hang on. All right. -Go on.
First off, I'm sorry. I should've told all of you about this before it started.
But this new initiative didn't come from the school, it came from one of you.
-Seriously? Who was it? -I'm sorry, I can't say.
Why can't you tell us? Is it that privacy law? What's going on?
Ridiculous!
-This school. It's… ugh! -Too much.
It is? Fair. Sorry.
Hello?
Harm?
Surprise!
For me?
Hell yeah! It's the welcome wagon!
Get him a drink, will you?
So… now… the house is ours.
Mike?
Oh, no, please. Don't tell me your best friend's about to move in.
Uh… now that Danny is out of the house…
I want a kid. Danny is out of the house…