-Ow! -What?
Your bike was touching my front wheel.
-Come on. Let's hurry up. -Whatever.
-I'm the winner! -You're not.
Jason, remember to bring the extra lock?
Look at this. 80% of all artists live below the poverty line.
-It's right there, 80%! -Yeah, but they're living to the fullest.
Guys, give me a minute. Dad googled something.
Lately I feel like my life has come to a standstill, you know?
It could be that I was just too young to be having kids.
Too young? You were in your thirties when you had Jason.
-I-- -Mom!
-Guys, hang on a second! -It's mine!
I always felt like I could be the next Jennifer Aniston or something.
And I want to explore that.
I'd love to get on the roster of a professional football club,
but you don't see me quitting my job.
-You wanna play pro football? You're nuts. -Yeah.
Besides, I'm not quitting my job. It's just a short course.
Twelve weeks. Tomorrow is the first day. Hold on, wait!
Oh, wow. Wow. Merel.
Merel! Hey!
-What's that gonna cost? -Less than your CrossFit.
Guys, wait for Mom!
ROOSTERS
We have a big problem.
-Who is that? -That's the maid.
-But… uh, it's a man. -Yeah.
-How come you didn't ask for a lady? -'Cause it's kinda sexist to ask for that.
-Mm. Looks clean, though. -You see the silver? He polished it.
-Hey, put a shirt on. -Why?
He might think we're a couple, which I'd like to avoid.
He's probably gay himself, actually.
You think?
They all have a gaydar. They can tell that we like the ladies.
Hristo!
-His name's Hristo. -Hristo?
-This is Mike, the owner of the house. -Hi.
-Hristo is from, uh, Bulgaria. -Mm.
Thank you, Mr. Buijsman. What an opportunity, sir.
No, not at all. I should be thanking you. I presented some of your work internally.
-It was a huge hit. -Ah. Well…
-What's this? -It's our code of conduct.
Standard for every employee here.
Wow. Looks pretty intense.
What you do at home is your business, but at work, we make the rules.
Oh… no worries here. I, uh… don't do anything.
Uh, well… well, that's not true. Obviously, I work.
Yeah.
All right, then. Let's get things started. Welcome aboard.
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
What a good guy.
YOU ARE NOW A NEW MAN
Hm. A new man.
Uh, uh, um… yeah.
It's… it's a… a course I took and, uh, passed.
Oh.
Oh, yeah. Uh, sorta nice it's not the usual, uh, photo of your kids.
Yeah.
-Hi. I'm Roos. -Hi.
I work in the tech department here.
-Ivo. -Pleasure.
-I, uh, work, uh, here. -Yeah.
Cool, welcome…
…new man.
Why won't they just let us pitch it? We came up with the idea.
Like Mike will pitch it better 'cause he's a man. Jesus.
Ladies, I have some amazing news. First, as of today, we have good coffee.
Did we sell the show?
No. They said they have enough shows about women.
Yeah, and we all know there's nothing on TV about men. Kiss my ass.
It's crazy, half of the entire world is female,
and the suits still think it's a niche.
Relax, because the good news is they were interested in another project.
ROOSTERS THE SERIES
Roosters?
The title is ironic.
Yeah, so they're cancelling a show centered on women
to make macho bullshit for men?
No. This'll be different.
It's about a group of men wrestling not with each other
but with their new role in a world that's changing.
Oh, boohoo, those poor men.
Honestly, you ladies are the ideal writing team for this.
I think you adore men.
So, let me run this up the flagpole first. All right?
Then we can get going.
Oh shit. Shit.
-Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. -No, it's okay.
Karma.
Oh, hi.
-Welcome. Do you have a reservation? -Uh…
Nah. I'm Danny. The bar manager and part owner.
Oh, sorry. I'm Linda, the hostess.
Oh… um…
Is, uh, Harm around?
-Yeah, he's right over there. -Yeah.
-Hey, Danny. -Hey.
-How are ya? -Hey, come here. Um…
We have a hostess?
Yeah, a beautiful woman to welcome guests. It's great, right?
-And what else does she do? -She's also good with wine.
But isn't that objectification?
-What? -Objectification.
-You're the one who checked her out. -No.
You wanted a more balanced team. So I put a woman out front.
All right, yeah.
Could you just run this kind of decision by me next time?
We're supposed to be business partners.
-Linda? -What are you doing?
Quick question.
Do you feel like you're being objectified?
Me? By who?
Uh, forget it.
Just kidding. You're doing great.
Come on, have a seat.
-Hey. Danny. -Hi, Danny.
Um, actually, I better check the reservations.
Why? There's barely anybody here. Come sit with us.
-Come on. Get him a drink. -Yeah, we don't bite, Danny boy.
Ms. Stevie? I've got your herbal tea ready.
-Oh my God. Wake up. Ay. -What?
-I thought you committed suicide. -Huh? God, of course not, Andrea.
-Phew. -Just popped a couple pills to calm down.
But what happened to make you do this?
Oh…
Well, my little roofie story didn't work.
It's all over. I'm finished. Booth and Zoey just dropped me.
And the acai brand is gone too. That was my last shred of leverage.
But why'd you lie about something like this?
I don't know. Everything on social media is totally fabricated.
Seriously, it's all lies.
You know what? Fuck this shit.
Hello, lovely Good Lifers.
Check out the good life I have now, everybody.
Three benzos and a finger down my throat.
Hey, no, no, no--
-Okay. Miss, don't-- -Give it to me now.
Miss, leave it alone.
I want to be a flight attendant again. Jesus.
My only problem was pasta, chicken, or salmon.
I can't imagine how difficult this is.
But you're not alone, all right? And I can get you relief.
I know where to go.
-Andrea, listen. I am not going to church. -No, it's a retreat.
It's specifically for burnout.
Okay.
This course is just the beginning. Everything is gonna be different now.
Soon, I'll be like you, carefree.
I have endometriosis.
Oh no.
My doctor wants to remove my uterus.
Good, rip it out.
-Yeah? -Yeah, come on. Unburden yourself.
Oh my God, that sounds amazing. Plus, you'll lose weight.
Not that you need to. But what do you think that thing weighs?
-But I'm still so young. -Yeah, but it's about your health.
Not to mention, you've obviously decided not to be a mother.
No?
-No, I'm not 100% sure. -You're not sure?
Nah, you're my hero, Pam, the childless hero.
-I find it hard to make that decision. -Sure, Pam, whatever you say.
Just come to my house for the weekend. It won't be hard then.
-Excuse me, can we get vodka martinis? -No, wait, uh…
Relax, it's good for you.
-With a lemon twist. Sound good? -Yeah, thank you.
Two twists.
-So, ladies, have you read it yet? -Yeah, I thought it was pretty clever--
Listen, Mike, uh, we're not signing on to write this crap.
Right.
-I'll explain it again. -Oh look. Mansplaining. Yippee.
Okay, Roosters is, in essence, a very feminist series.
No, really. It's four alpha males who see their sexism and unlearn it.
That's what women want.
-Oh, yeah? -And how do you know that, friend?
I took part in a course on new-wave masculinity.
For research, of course.
Because these guys take a silly course, we're supposed to think they're decent?
Well, it's better than nothing.
-So… -Ugh.
By the way, who teaches the workshop? I'm guessing it's a man, right?
That's why men have the power. They try to control what women think.
And that's pure sexism.
Yeah, no. I hadn't looked at it like that.
-We don't want roosters anymore. -No.
Not at our offices, not in our beds, and not on TV either.
Mm-hmm.
-Hey. -Hi.
-Got something for you. -Oh? A new writing team?
-No friction, no shine, you know that. -Yeah.
But I think you'll appreciate this just as much, Mike.
Oh?
Well, uh…
Wow.
You didn't have to do this.
Please put it on. I want to make sure it fits.
Uh, now? Here?
You could use the bathroom, I guess, if you're uncomfortable.
No.
And don't worry. We're pitching Roosters, no matter what.
Ivo!
Ivo, I have great news.
I just spoke to a client, and they are so enthusiastic.
-Enthusiastic about…? -Your inclusive office space.
But they want to come in this week for a presentation. Can you do that?
-No. Yeah, of course. -Ah!
-Uh… -What was that about?
Uh, well, uh… Oh. A project I've got cooking.
Oh, that's cool.
How about we grab a beer tonight? You can tell me all about it.
Um… uh, you think that's a good idea?
-What's wrong with it? -It could kind of disrupt our workflow.
Yeah, that's why I'm suggesting a bar.
People talk. I just don't want the rumors and all that.
Mm, we're, uh, primarily colleagues.
Okay, cool. Goodbye, colleague.
-Bump it. -Bye.
Ugh, what a day.
Give me a glass of wine and a good screw, 'cause trust me, I've earned it.
Wine's already open. The rest will fall to my father, I think.
Uh…
You must be Enzo.
I just, uh… I stopped by to admire my dad's new paramour.
-Proost. -Proost.
Here's to love.
Well, well, well. You couldn't wait for me?
-Honey. -Hey, sweetheart.
Well, congratulations, Dad. Never thought you'd find mom's replacement so fast.
-Yeah. Hey, where are your manners, Enzo? -Replacement?
-She's more like, uh, your stepmother. -Whoa.
I'll just hop in the shower, and then we can all eat together, huh?
Yep.
-I'll, uh, set the table now. -Yeah.
You, uh… you need any help, or do you know your way around?
I can find the silverware.
Believe it or not, I am blonde, but I'm not dumb.
Nah. I mean, you handled the divorce.
-What does that mean, exactly? -Hmm.
I've always been able to take care of myself.
Or do you want to know what I earn?
Do you want to know what my father earns?
Oh, wait. I think you know that already.
Yeah, it looks good. I mean, the fabric's nice.
-Fits perfectly. -Mm.
I don't know. The whole thing felt odd. It was… not fun.
Like I was a Chippendale or something.
Guys, don't you see what this is?
-Sexual harassment. -Come on, Ivo.
Imagine if it was the other way around. If she had to undress in front of Mike.
-Did she spill that coffee on purpose? -Uh, I mean, I bumped her, so no.
Yeah, but even so, who says she has to buy you a new shirt, Mike?
Then force you to undress and put it on while she watches?
She said the bathroom was an option. You didn't do that?
I, um… I mean, I don't know. I was worried she'd be offended.
I just got a shirt as a gift from my mother-in-law.
Is that sexual harassment?
That's different, Greg. She doesn't have power over you.
That's what you think.
-Just go to HR. -Come on.
I don't want to tattle. That's not cool.
True, and you don't have any evidence. They might even see it the other way.
You took your shirt off. Who was really harassed, you know?
-Mm. -You gotta be kidding.
It was hard for you to find a job this time around.
-True. -I'd just leave it alone.
-I would report it. -I'd probably bang her.
-You know what I need? -A beer.
Professional advice.
You guys are great. Not what I'm talking about.
But you're not accustomed to top-level work like me.
So finding help can be a problem.
-I think I know someone. -Really?
Take a guess.
I DON'T RUN AWAY I CHANGE
REDISCOVER YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL
-Bram, man, that was great. -Thank you.
Hey, don't forget, vulnerable is the new macho.
Hey, Bram!
-Bram. Bram! -Oh, Jesus.
Oh wow. Hey, cool T-shirts, man. Can I buy one, or what?
Please, Bram, hang on. We took the day off to find you.
We drove all the way from the Netherlands. Come on.
You have any idea how bad the mileage is on this?
What do you want? You got your diplomas, didn't you?
-Yeah, we still have some questions. -How about you ask him? He's the expert.
No, the thing is, he got canceled. He sees things differently.
-Yeah, totally. -Of course you do.
Okay, listen, Bram. I'm really sorry.
The Rooster thing was a mistake, and I'll never do that ever again.
Come on, Bram. Have you had lunch yet? Hey, Mike's buying.
Eh? Just let me park.
Okay, yeah. Cool. Let's… Yeah.
And then, get this.
She asked why a man as good-looking as him would pay a lady for sex.
And she slid her hand down to his thigh.
Yeah, and then she forced him to remove his shirt while she was watching.
-Hang on, she didn't force it. -No, wait a second.
Mike, this does sound like a classic case of sexual harassment.
-Yeah? -Shouldn't he file a report?
Absolutely. Setting boundaries is critical.
But why couldn't Mike just forget about it and bang her?
That would be so much easier.
And, uh, if he performs well, he might be up for a raise, right?
Sexual relationships in the workplace are highly problematic.
Hmm. And, uh, is that true in all cases?
Let's say, for instance, it's not your boss.
Maybe it's a colleague, for example.
Horizontal relationships between equals are permitted.
But obviously active consent is essential.
-Of course. -You better knock before you enter, Ief.
"Knock, knock, who's there? It's Ivo."
This is important, Danny. Silence doesn't mean yes.
A sexy dress doesn't either. Even a kiss isn't consent.
-You serious? -Only yes means yes.
-Yeah. -And how about you, Greg? Huh?
Have you processed your wife's infidelity?
Um, we managed to make it through with love and empathy.
-Mm-hmm. -And very expensive therapy. Yeah.
He has an open relationship.
Yeah, except he still isn't having sex. Not with his wife or anybody else, right?
-We're busy, that's all. -That excuse never gets old.
The new man doesn't need sex for validation.
Ha, see? We're not all roosters here, Danny.
My business partner is gay, you guys.
-Queer. -And queer, yep.
I'm more modern than the three of you put together.
-Great. Glad my course wasn't for nothing. -Bram, one more thing.
Can a guy who's a homo also… be toxically masculine?
Yeah, of course.
Okay, okay, so even for a "queer" man,
it'd be bad to give a lady's butt a good slap?
Ugh.
-Relax, you guys. I'm just checking, okay? -Yeah, very good.
Thanks for lunch. Uh, the T-shirts, you can buy from our site.
Use the code "I never run, I do the work," and you'll get 15% off.
-Uh, lowercase? -Yeah, all lowercase.
'Kay, let's get the check so we can head home.
What? Why, man? This is fantastic. We got sun, sea, and sand.
What's the difference if we head home now or in a few hours?
Come on, Greg.
We've got time, man.
Hey, honey. Hey. So here's the thing.
The tunnel is closed. A Mack truck fell over.
Yeah, so?
I'm definitely gonna be delayed, but I'm gonna be back for dinner.
That shouldn't be an issue.
Jesus, Greg. I have my theater class. You know that.
Well, just call my mother. She'll be glad to babysit.
Really, you think? I doubt your mom's forgiven me for my adventure.
-Come on, use your turn signal. -Okay, well, um…
But I can't get there right now. It's out of my control.
It's never in your control with those morons, is it?
Well, perfect. She's pissed as hell.
All the more reason to party hard.
If Merel's gonna smash your nuts anyway, we better make this well worth it.
-Yeah. -Come on, guys.
-Party! Party! -All right.
Yeah. I wanted to tell you right away, but I couldn't find the right moment.
Oh. Um, so how about treatment? What's the deal?
-Well, it would be best to operate now. -Oh.
Unless I want children.
Oh, then what are we waiting for?
-Armand, I'm not ready to decide yet. -Whether you want children?
Yes, exactly.
And, um, how it might work.
Probably IVF. It could save time. Could be a good option for you.
Uh, I meant more whether I'd want someone along for the ride or do it alone.
Well, you'd need another person to help out at some point.
Sweetheart.
All day I see these fights with different couples.
And somehow, their kids are always weapons.
So you're assuming we're not gonna last, is that it?
Well, yeah, many couples that have kids don't last.
-One in three. The statistics don't lie. -Mm.
And I really want things to stay good between us, honey. I do.
I get that, but you don't have to be so worried about it, okay?
'Cause I'm a very good father.
-Yeah. -Hmm.
Just ask Enzo.
Mm.
I'm gonna shower.
Sorry.
Gotta say, he's good.
Well done. Very good. Very good.
-For the latecomers… -Yeah. Sorry.
…the idea here is that you show something on stage
that would be very inappropriate to do in public,
because acting always involves overriding your sense of shame.
Okay, next.
Great work. Thank you.
What are you gonna do?
Switch this out.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
Who's next?
Here you are, ladies.
Hey, see? God, we pay out of our asses, and they get everything for free.
Whoa. Man.
-I mean, don't you think that's sexist? -They're cool with it, Greg.
What's he doing?
-Oh, he's checking in on our new maid. -He's watching the camera.
-He's Bulgarian. -Hang on, your new maid is a man?
-Yes. -So what's wrong with that?
Look, this guy's always parading around my living room in nothing but his boxers.
Yeah, well, who cares? Look on the bright side.
Danny does too, but doesn't do chores.
No, dear God. Hand me a drink.
You heard anything from Stevie recently? Has she reached out?
Nah, she's, uh, still got a lot going on with her Good Life channel, so…
Well, her life isn't good at the moment.
She was caught on camera getting wasted, and now she's canceled.
Oh man.
-Now she knows how it feels. -Hey now.
Listen, I tried my best, guys. Tried to make contact.
But she doesn't want that.
Might not be a bad idea for you to start posting.
"Good Life with Mikey." I bet she'd get in touch then.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Hey, Mike. Ask the blonde there, man.
Hmm? Knock it off.
-Take that stupid vest off. -No.
-Another delicious cocktail? -Here we go.
-Sounds good. -Yep.
It was horrible. I didn't recognize myself anymore.
Um, usually now, when I have photos I want to post, I, uh…
I have to add the hashtag #BodyPositivity.
Otherwise, they'll all say… they'll all say I'm fat.
Sometimes I feel so empty.
But my followers don't care how I feel or what I've experienced.
All they want is new content. That's it.
Then I feel pressure to… to create some artificial drama.
-My followers have no lives. -This is silly.
The other day, I made a video with my puppy and posted it.
Big mistake. Everyone got all angry because I didn't have her consent.
I went through that too.
Yeah, I looked at the comments. Everybody was tagging Animal Rights Watch.
-It's so bizarre. -Totally.
Come on, say something, Ms. Stevie.
Yeah.
She's still got a whole lot of trauma. I'm sorry.
Listen, guys, I want to be honest here.
Yep. It's all true. I was fucked up. I was stoned.
And it was an incredible few hours.
I mean, Jesus, these awards ceremonies are insanely dull.
And okay, the spiked drink story, uh, was a load of crap.
But, guys, my hands were tied.
I was losing brand deals because of all your stupid memes
and comments saying I was a dumb liar and a druggie and a fake bitch.
And you know what? Turns out you guys are fake, and not me.
See ya.
-What are you doing? -Heading out. I'm cured now.
Oh, really?
M-M-Miss, wait.
No, Andrea. I don't care anymore how many of my followers leave me.
It's over. I'm done.
I have something for you.
El señor Mike.
Looks like he's right nearby.
Hey, Ivo. Thought you took the day off.
Yeah, I'm not calling about work.
I was wondering if you wanted to meet up later for that drink.
Definitely, but, um, I thought you weren't comfortable doing that.
I spoke to my coach, and he said there's no problem with it.
Yeah, glad we can be friends now that your coach signed off on it.
Right. So if you're still up for it,
then I think it'd be great to grab a drink maybe sometime tomorrow.
Sure, I think that would be great.
Oh man. Okay.
Tomorrow, then.
Don't forget, consent is explicit. Only yes is a yes.
-Uh, she said yes. -But she might change her mind tomorrow.
So, Ief, you better film her the second she says she'll bang you. You need proof.
"Hey, that feels great, but would you mind if I asked you something?"
Guys, let me introduce you to Natasha. And… what's your name again?
-Svetlana. -Svetlana.
Guys, one of their boyfriends, I think it's Natasha's,
is throwing a party at his villa tonight, and we're invited.
Okay.
I have to take this. It's me. Yeah?
Hey, honey, so guess what? We're still stuck out here.
-We'll be here overnight. -Oh wow. You've got some nerve, huh?
It's just a fluke. This whole thing is dumb, dumb blind luck.
-How was your class? -I'll tell you when you get back later.
-I think you'll be asleep by then. -Hey, I wouldn't be so sure, Greg.
Fuck.
-Hey, you coming for a drink? -No, sorry. I should get going.
My mother-in-law is babysitting.
Francis, hey, listen. So I won't be back until later.
If you could feed the kids some dinner, I'd appreciate it.
Yep, there's a spinach salad in the fridge.
-Whoa. -Oh man.
-How much did this cost? -No idea, Ief.
Appraise it for us. Go ahead.
Natasha's friend is definitely a drug dealer.
Or maybe a Russian oligarch.
-All their accounts have been frozen. -Well, then he's got a piggy bank.
Hey, that's stereotyping, Greg. We don't know if he's from Russia.
Drinks, boys. Let's get some drinks.
Ooh, yes, please.
-No, thanks. -What, you still on your health craze?
-Or you afraid there's polonium in it? -Who knows, bro?
It's crazy. This is just like a rap video, guys, right?
Just wait, you always find something wrong.
Did we walk into paradise, gentlemen?
Wait, how do we know these ladies aren't prostitutes, you guys?
Sex workers.
Ask Mike. He's the resident expert.
-Guys, you are here. -Hey.
-Let me introduce you to Victor. -Oh no, that's not necessary.
-Why not? Meeting an oligarch sounds cool. -Hmm?
Hmm. Well, he's finally happy. Hmm? Off to Victor.
I'm gonna dance. Will you come with me?
Mm.
Damn. This is bullshit. There's no signal here.
Yeah, right. Because it's getting blocked by his nuclear defense system. Yep.
Yeah.
-Hi, Francis, I'm back. -Shh. They're finally asleep.
-Quiet. -Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.
We went late because it was the first class.
Until one in the morning?
Yeah, my teacher is very long-winded.
Merel, you're not even sober.
No, it's just a method we use in class to get more relaxed.
I swear to you, if you cheat on my son, or if you break his heart, you better run.
Listen, trust me, it's a little more complicated than that.
Wait, wait.
Would you mind not telling Greg? It's not gonna help anything.
Good night.
It's a nice house, definitely.
But as a professional architect, I do have some little, uh, tips.
The master bedroom, for instance, it's, um, on the same side as the pool.
That's a big mistake.
Because you take a nice nap, and then you hear the children playing outside.
There are no children here. Only good-looking women.
Uh, yes, uh… That's another thing, uh, Victor.
Uh… Does the phrase "toxic masculinity" mean anything to you?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Uh, the women, they are treated as sex objects.
And also very, very young.
Yeah, who like old women?
No, yeah, but don't you ever wonder if they also like you?
Of course they do.
Do you like me?
Why wouldn't they like me?
Right, okay.
Victor, it was really nice talking to you.
I'm just gonna go check on my friend. He looks a bit lonely.
What's wrong? Is he not enjoying himself?
Agnieszka, go talk to this guy.
Show him some good time.
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. That's… That's not necessary.
No. Uh, no, no. He's just afraid of the polonium, so, uh, that's all.
He's a cop, so, uh… Yeah.
Um, yeah.
Get them out of here. One's a cop, and the other one has a big mouth.
Hmm.
Whoo! Whoa!
Come on.
Oh, fuck!
Hey, stop, I didn't do anything.
Ow, fuck. Wait. Hey!
Open up! Our friend is still inside. Open up.
Okay, okay, no problem. We're… We're not that close anyway.
Weapons are phallic symbols of fragile masculinity.
Shut your mouth, idiot.
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! -Okay, no, we're going. We're going.
Go. We're going!
Ivo, what the hell? How come you only act tough around gangsters?
What was that?
This moron made it his mission to educate the oligarch.
-You serious? -Yeah.
Okay, now what? We can't leave Mike behind in there.
-What are we supposed to do? -Not picking up.
-Distracted posting selfies, probably. -Ugh.
I bet he'll call soon. Mm.
Is this your content creator comeback, Mike?
-What? What are you doing here? -Well, I could ask you the same.
Well, I don't know. I've been out for the day with the boys.
Yeah, look.
You tagged every post with your location.
I can't help but feel like you wanted me to know where you were tonight.
I… Uh, great, thank you.
Here you go.
Oh. It's not spiked, so don't worry.
What? You follow me still? 't worry.