It's so nice to have a man Around the house
Oh, so nice to have A man around the house
Someone sweet, who's…
Yoo-hoo, sweetheart! I'm back!
Hi, baby cakes. Look who's here. It's the kids.
What kids?
-Papa! -Hey.
Ha.
-Hey, pal. -Mm.
-Hey, man. -Hey.
We haven't seen you in forever.
Look, that's not our fault. You cucks are being kept on a short leash.
-You're just jealous. -Come on, drink!
That's all right. I'm good.
-You serious? -Job interview tomorrow.
Give me a break, bro. We hardly see each other anymore.
Is it crazy that I want a job again?
-Don't you have savings? -It's not just the money, Danny.
-It's pride, dude. -No, that male ego stuff is toxic.
They made that clear during our course.
That fucking ridiculous course blew up my life.
Wait, which one? Bram's course
or your "Return of the Cock" mega masterclass?
Ah, come on.
-One beer, huh? You're not getting hired. -That happens when you've been canceled!
He asked for it. Had to play the big, loud macho rooster.
But Stevie had a hand in it.
No, you shouldn't even say her name. He's still not over her.
-No, you're not over Pam yet. -Yeah, but I own up to it, unlike you.
To be honest, guys, I picked that up from the course too.
Very good.
ROOSTERS
Mm.
It's good. Not very cold.
-No. -Too bad.
Greg!
-How come his clothes didn't get washed? -When was I supposed to do that?
God. Now I know why he always gets chosen last for soccer.
All his clothes stink! Goddamn it.
Can you take them? I should be at work already.
-No, I'm due at the DMV. I have exams. -Oh, yeah? Sorry.
-Hey, Greg… -Mom, I don't feel good today.
Oh, buddy, you all right?
What're you doing? Is that--
It's just bread and water. Oh my God, you're naive.
Jason, stop the theatrics. You're going to school.
He's just scared. He gets smacked around by Koos at school.
Who's Koos?
A kid who stayed back a year and terrorizes the whole class.
-Hit the little brat back if he hits you. -What?
-Yeah. -What?
Just let your teacher know. She'll help you resolve it.
Snitch? Like a coward?
Perfect. That way, the rest of the class will never respect him again.
There's social status to consider. Like in prison.
Just be nice, and everything will work out. Okay?
Bye-bye!
Wait. No, hang on. You're taking them, right?
I'll pick them up later.
Mom, I think I'm coming down with the flu.
Listen, Jason, if someone's a bully,
you have to make sure you hit them where it hurts.
Yeah? Got it? Okay, look.
Like this. Bam! Yeah? That'll show him.
Right? Come on. Grab your stuff.
Yep, come on. Let's head out. We're already late.
Wow. That wasn't too shabby. Six and a half minutes per kilometer.
-Getting better, huh? -Yeah, I'll get you so fit.
-Shower with me real quick? -Ugh.
Uh, yeah. I just have to… stretch out.
-Okay. -Oh!
I'm shocked. You're not a match made in hell after all.
-This was a horrible idea. -You'll be okay. Just train harder.
No, your mother. It was a mistake to get back with her.
What? Hey…
All this time I thought I wanted her back, but now… I don't feel it anymore.
I mean, come on, Dad! I've never seen Mom be this chill before.
Yeah, that's her. Look, I'm not chill right now.
I feel like a giant fraud, a hypocrite.
That's just stress. I mean, you worry constantly.
Even sex doesn't feel right somehow.
So what're you gonna do?
You're not very good at breaking up with the ladies, right? Remember?
Ivo! We just ran out of soap. Can you bring some, please?
Oh no.
-She wants to make love. -Ugh.
I can't anymore, Tess. I just ran five kilometers.
Could you take her the soap?
What are you staring at? Help me out. Just tell me what to do.
You…
-She wants lavender. -I know.
Mike Mulder?
Yeah. Hi.
-Kristel van der Maesen. Nice to meet you. -How are you?
You look familiar. Have we met or spoken before?
Oh, I know what it is. You're from that course, right?
The Rooster class?
-Yeah. -Mm. I knew it.
-Well, let's go. Ready? -Yeah.
#GOODLIFE WITH STEVIE
I'm back, Ms. Stevie.
Home yet?
Ms. Stevie?
Hey, come on, now! Hey, it's noon, and you're still in bed?
-Get up, get up, let's go! -Let me sleep, Andrea!
But you have to try on dresses and makeup for the Influencer Awards.
That can wait till tomorrow. I don't need anything today.
I could use some pancakes.
No fruit shake? Don't forget the bikini shoot.
What're you implying?
Nothing. I… I can do pancakes, yeah.
By the way, don't forget you have another book signing today.
You said to remind you.
Damn book!
Oh, heck yeah. Delicious.
Could one of you guys spot me today? I'm good for it.
-Right. The guy's broke. -Serious.
Hey. What's cooking?
-Your boy's employed! -Hey!
-No way, man! -Yeah!
Head of fiction at that production company.
I'm back in the game, bitches. Back!
-Mike's buying today! -No problem, guys.
Hang on. They know about your course and all that?
Yeah, but it wasn't a problem.
No, the new boss, she laughed about it.
I was like, "What a cool chick."
I, uh… I want to break up with Desirée.
-What? -Oh, yeah.
I know. I actually thought I'd be happy this time,
but now that we're really back together, it feels completely wrong.
-Okay. That's 50 euros, please. -Fine. Okay. Hang on. Here.
-Wait, you guys bet on me and Desirée? -You couldn't stick it out for a year?
Nice.
And Desirée? How are you gonna break it to her?
She'll put his nuts in a blender.
-How'd Pam break it off with you? -Pam didn't dump me.
-We made a mutual… choice to part ways. -Ah. Mm.
-We both needed a little more space. -Yeah, right.
-Why should I have to leave? -Well, because she's not gonna.
You could just say nothing.
Just find another place and sneak off without a word.
-Or move in with him. House is huge. -No way. The last thing I need.
Oh God. Stop it, bro. I do all the chores and stuff.
-He should be paying me a salary. -Yeah?
I should be paying you to lounge?
-You're not my girlfriend. -That's totally sexist.
Not to worry, Mike. You'll be rid of me soon enough.
-You buying a house? -Nope. A restaurant.
-I wanna start my own business. -Really? How?
Oh, and I'm hoping Pam will help me with the paperwork also.
-Ah. -Oh.
Uh-huh.
I thought Pam wasn't speaking to you.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, she's been playing hard to get.
But once she sees I'm a changed man, she'll take me back.
-No doubt. -Mm-hmm.
So, should I order you a nice big breakfast?
-Sounds great. Yeah. -Yeah?
When are you gonna tell him Pam isn't single?
Uh, Merel told me not to.
-He invited me to come to Bonaire. -Oh, really?
-Yeah. -Wow.
-He goes every winter to kitesurf. -You serious?
Armand's almost 60, but the guy's got the body of a 40-year-old.
God, with Greg it's the other way around.
Oh. But I'm not going before the divorce is set in stone.
-Mm. -Until then, we're taking it slow.
I wish I had your job.
You end up meeting a bunch of hot divorced men.
I only meet pimple-faced teens.
You opened things with Greg. You been dating at all?
Nah. When would I be able to do that? I have no time at all.
And Greg?
Well, we agreed not to bring it up with each other.
I'm not sure if he's seeing anyone.
But it's so fun to know!
I can hardly get him to do the laundry. I don't think he has time for dating.
Oh, shit.
"Mrs. Barf"?
MRS. BARF
Okay. Inside joke.
-It's… -Um…
Hey, Esther. Hi. How you doing?
Jason kicked Koos really hard earlier this morning.
Really? So he did some serious damage.
We told him to come to you if something happened today.
Unfortunately, he didn't.
Yeah, but maybe Koos had it coming. I mean…
If my son was attacked, he'd be allowed to defend himself against this kid, right?
Huh? We can't tolerate any gender-related abuse in school, guys.
Gender? What's that have to do with some harmless roughhousing?
-He only kicked Koos in his shins, I hope. -Yeah.
Her shins. He kicked Koos in her shins, just so you know.
Oh.
There's always the option to renovate if you're interested.
This way?
Um, there's gonna be a skylight. We're gonna put a heat pump in.
Here is, uh… the primary garage.
Uh… the place next door went for 20 more, actually.
But these windows face north, so I… can knock a few euros off for that.
Oh.
Uh, sorry… Ah.
My wife.
-Problems? -Do you have a wife?
Husband.
Oh, sorry. Uh…
-It's just as tricky. -Yeah.
Took us years to finally get equal rights, but sometimes I regret it.
Equal obligations, you mean.
You can always end it. Get a divorce.
Yep, I did already. But now we're back together.
Sounds like you should've learned your lesson.
Yeah…
Oh my God, you're such a huge inspiration.
I do your morning routine every day.
I just find those acai shakes a bit sour, so sometimes I skip them.
Oh, I do that too sometimes.
But the chai tea, oof, it's just to die for!
-Wow. Super, Bregje. -By the way…
-The, uh, face cream you recommended… -Yeah?
It's giving me pimples everywhere.
-Ooh. That's frustrating. Yeah. -Yeah.
-I better, uh… -Of course, sorry. Thanks a lot.
Really, uh…
Yeah.
What's the name? Who is it for?
I LOVE YOU. COME BACK TO ME.
Mike.
Oh. There's no more space to sign.
-Think we could talk sometime? -Sorry. I don't want to be seen with you.
Come on, but… Stevie.
I mean, you dumped me. On live television. 'Cause of you, my course failed.
Okay, you're here because you want to start a fight with me?
Of course not. I wanted to see how you are.
Well, take a look. Things are peachy.
Yeah, I'm doing great too. And, uh…
-I'm working again. -Okay.
Good for you. I hope that your new career works out as well as your last one did.
-Is there a name I should sign it to? -Tessa.
-So, I did the entire vitamin A routine… -Mm-hmm.
What a coincidence.
I'm a lawyer. You know I can get a restraining order in no time, right?
Okay, okay. I'm here to see you. But it's not what you think.
I have plans to open up another restaurant.
How about that?
And I want you… to take care of all the paperwork for it.
I only helped you because you were my boyfriend, Danny.
Then I'll be your boyfriend all over again.
A friend… uh, who… is in fact a boy.
I want your help as… as a friend.
Pam, hold on.
You apply for a business name yet?
I'm, uh… not really. I'm torn. Got a couple good options, so…
And the funding? How are things with money?
Good. Good, yeah.
The investors won't stop calling. It's crazy.
-Another restaurant? -Yeah.
I thought you were done with the restaurant business.
I was just a little burnt out.
This time I've thought it out, and I have a whole new direction for it.
You know, your career could take a new direction.
All right, come on. Can I have the cash or not?
Hmm.
-What do you think? It's okay, right? -Oh…
The rent's steep and it's small,
but it's around the corner from your school.
Okay, um… What does Mom think about it?
Ugh, come on, Pop. You gotta be kidding.
It's her turn to move out. That's a fact. I'm being reasonable.
Ugh. How come men are so awful?
The point of that course was to help you tell the truth.
Wait a minute, whose side are you on? You could stay here, you know.
What do you mean, she can stay here?
I was gonna get a pizza, and I was asking if she might wanna tag along.
She said no? Then how about I ride along to keep you company?
-Hmm? -Okay.
For real?
-What? I don't wanna act like a dick. -Ugh!
"Koos," I mean, seriously? What's the deal with that?
Honestly, since when is that a girl's name, for God's sake?
I mean, what's next? Walter? Robert? Herbert?
Yeah, but who cares what she's called? My son shouldn't be hitting girls.
-Come on, we raised him better than that. -Yeah, okay, but Koos? Jesus.
I could give Bram a call. See if he runs a course for kids too?
Don't be stupid, Greg.
Well, I just… don't want Jason to think it's okay.
He doesn't. He won't do it again. Trust me, I was strict about the thing.
No worries.
I wanna talk to him myself.
-What, now? -Yeah.
Yeah, but… Greg, it's super late.
Okay, tell me again. What really happened?
I kicked her right in the knee. I was like a ninja.
You should've seen it. She cried like a baby. Check this out!
-Whoa! -Hello!
Didn't you feel bad for her, though?
You can't be kicking kids anymore, okay? Females especially.
-Well, she stopped bullying me, Dad. -Uh…
Men are stronger than women. You could've broke her leg.
Mom gave me permission.
She gave you permission?
All right. Sleep well, okay?
Merel?
Merel? Tell me you didn't say Jason should kick Koos, please.
-I know you're awake, Merel. -Hmm?
"Hmm?"
-Hey. -Yeah, okay, okay, it's my fault.
-Oh my God. -I thought it was a boy. That's the truth.
That makes no difference. Violence never solves problems.
-Well, this time, it worked. -You tell him he owes her an apology.
-What? No! Koos picked the fight. -God, come on, Merel.
Want him to get suspended?
Pfft. God, whatever. I'll talk to the mother. How's that?
We need to work as a team on this.
I don't want him to turn into a sexist jerk.
Oh, no. God forbid.
-We do have whiteboards, you know. -Yeah, it's just… I swear by flip-overs.
-All my hits were born on them. -Hmm.
Oh, like Fuck Island?
Yeah, it's true. But that's the old me. I'm a new man. No macho crap.
Bummer. We could use a little more male gaze around here.
A female perspective is important,
but it's better to balance it with humor and a little distance.
Because in the end, it's all about ratings.
And, uh… obviously, that's where Fuck Island flourished.
Yeah.
-Come on, let's go meet the team. -Yeah.
That doesn't work.
Sanne, Yuki, Bodil, allow me to introduce you to… Mike Mulder,
our new head of fiction.
-Well, go get 'em. -Right.
So, ladies. Let's hear it. What are you cooking up in here?
I've worked on myself a lot, you know? I'm trying to be a role model for Jason.
And then Merel just casually tells the kid to start smacking everybody.
That's not normal! What about… domestic violence, huh?
Or femicide.
Our boys need to learn to respect the women in their lives. Yeah.
Yücel? Yücel? Yücel?
Mom, there she is. That's Koos.
-Oh, fuck, okay. -It was him, Mom. That one kicked me.
Uh… You must be Koos's mother.
Yeah, and this is the asshole thug who can't keep his hands to himself.
Uh, Jason would really like to apologize to you. Am I right, Jason?
-Huh? -No.
Maybe you should try being an attentive mother.
Then we wouldn't be here at all.
Sorry?
You think it's normal that he attacked my little girl?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. She bullied Jason.
She's a monster. Look at her. Jason's half her weight.
-What was that? -You called my son an asshole?
-Yeah. Now I know why he acts this way. -Oh, wow.
-That's right. -Look at the attitude on you.
-Attitude? -You sorry?
Sorry for what?
-Hi, Merel. -Hi, Dad.
Jason? What…? What's going on?
Uh, Mom got in a fight with Koos's mother.
What?
Yeah, and her phone fell,
and she ended up breaking the screen.
Oh, she's coming.
Jason?
Come on. Hurry up. Come on, buddy. We're leaving.
Dan, sorry. I don't have time to talk.
Hey, I'm throwing a party tonight. Eight at my house.
Well, uh… at Mike's house, I mean. Uh, put it inside.
Sorry, I'm really not in the mood.
My colleague's sick, we're having problems at school…
Ah, too bad. That's why you have to celebrate life now, Greg.
Oh, Merel's coming too.
Oh, okay.
Dan, I… Dan?
-Almost done? -Just four or so left.
Okay. Cool, man.
Turns out the murderer is pretending to be his boss the whole time!
-Yeah, right, so that adds another man? -No, a woman.
-Okay. What kind of woman is she? -Blonde.
No… um… I meant, like, what's her background, you know?
Uh, she's a model?
Mike, cultural or ethnic background.
Is she white, Black, Asian-slash-Pacific Islander?
Asian. Yep.
Yeah, and she's really good at karate. The end will be a massive fight.
Kill Bill style.
Oh, yeah, right. 'Cause we know all Asians are karate masters.
He could be onto something. It's sort of funny.
Mm.
Uh, Mike. I'm not sure suddenly changing everything is a good move,
considering that it's taken us months of work to develop this strategy.
-And the pitch is tomorrow. -Yeah, but it can be better.
I'll order some pizza. We have a long night ahead of us.
Mike, order the pizza for yourself. My day's over.
-And the pitch? What about-- -It's called work-life balance.
You ever heard of it?
Gotta be kidding.
Sorry. I wanted to keep going, but women have to be in solidarity.
He wants to throw the whole thing on the fire.
-Yeah. -Right in the oven.
-Okay… -Mike.
Yeah, hey.
-I hope they were welcoming. -Yeah, I, um… uh…
Uh… I felt like we clicked.
Hmm. You'll love it here. This is your home.
I just know it. Hmm.
Ah. You must be Mike. Robert, from administration.
Right, hi. Ah, they finally hired another man, huh?
-Place has more pussies than a shelter. -Sorry?
Never trust a thing that bleeds for five days and doesn't die, right?
Hey, wanna get a beer later?
I'll tell you how to avoid these carpet-munchers.
Um, thanks. I just… I better work on my pitch more tonight.
Mm.
Okay. Rain check, bud?
Uh…
Hey! Hell yeah! There he is! 'Sup? What's going on?
Go ahead, act like you own the place. 'Cause, uh… that's what I do.
-Hey. -Hey, Danny.
-This is Harm. Harm, Danny. -Hi.
Hi. Oh, nice, caipirinhas.
-Yeah. -Great house.
Yeah, thanks.
Hey.
-Who's that? -Harm?
-Yeah. -A client of mine.
-Hey, Greg. -Mm! Mwah!
-What took you so long? -I was at the ER.
-What? -Yeah, Yücel had a massive heart attack.
If you listened to your voicemail, you'd know that.
-So was he at work? -Were you in a car chase?
Did you use your gun?
No, uh…
We went to a shawarma stand, and he suddenly keeled over.
-Oh. -Yeah.
Now that's what I call dying in the line of duty.
Hey. We're talking about one of my colleagues. Come on, guys.
I mean, he's not dead, in case you care.
Oh, good.
-Now he can maybe finally relax. -Greg needs a beer.
We're gonna be here late. I'll tell your mom to put the kids to bed.
-Want a drink, honey? -You and Koos's mom fought at school?
You get a call from Mrs. Barf?
No, Jason. Mm-hmm.
-Pfft. Well, it was self-defense. -Yeah, sure it was.
That bitch started it. I was defending my boy, okay?
There's video on the class app. See for yourself.
God. You should be taking Bram's course. Not Jason.
Whatever.
Danny?
Hey, you made it. Finally. Did you bring a dozen limes?
-Limes for what? -I texted you, man.
Lime juice. You know caipirinhas without lime juice are totally gross.
Danny, I… I have a big pitch tomorrow.
We're celebrating tonight, Mike.
I'm opening another restaurant.
You have a brand-new job, and I, uh…
I'm pleased to say I'm back… on speaking terms with Pam.
These are for you, ladies.
-She's with someone else. -Who is?
-Pam. -My Pam?
Wake up, dude. She's not "your" Pam anymore.
She's already moved on. Okay? And I think I'm starting to get why.
How can you be sure that another guy is gay too?
-Uh, queer. -How do you know that a girl is straight?
You flirt. You make some eye contact. It also helps to have Grindr.
Mm-hmm.
Let me guess. Your wife?
-Ief. -Yeah?
Does Pam have a boyfriend?
Uh, I better take this one.
Hey, sweetheart.
Ivo, there's some mover guy here to give a quote we requested?
What? I, um… That's gotta be a mistake.
-Why don't you just tell the truth?! -Okay, Ivo. What's going on?
-Can that closet be disassembled? -I have no idea. Forget it, okay?
Okay, look, honey. I, uh… I was gonna tell you, but…
But? Ivo…
-Tell me where you are. -Oh, I'm at a… a lecture.
-It's about architecture. -Oh my God, it's a party at Mike's house.
So… you're meeting at our friend's house and partying without me?
Calm down, sweetie. I will explain everything in the morning. Okay?
Desirée? Fuck.
Sorry.
Yeah, hello?
What are you doing? I said come by tomorrow, remember?
Uh, yeah. I was in the neighborhood.
Tell me you didn't spill the beans about Pam.
I don't care that you're in the neighborhood.
-I promised Merel Danny wouldn't find out! -Oh my God.
You knew Pam was dating again, and you really didn't tell me?
Um, well… I, uh…
-Who is it? -I have no idea.
-Greg, do you know who she's with? -No, I have no idea.
-Merel knows. -What?
-No. -Hey!
-What the hell are you doing, man? -Please don't…
You invite half of Holland, then spend the whole time outside?
-Dan, no, wait! -Merel!
-Honestly, Ief. -Uh, I'm on the phone.
I don't care, man. This house is turning into a giant dump.
-Wait. Mike, quick question. -Yeah.
Could I sleep on your sofa tonight, please?
-Oh. -Couple nights, tops, okay?
-No. -Just a few nights.
Hi, Pam, Danny here. I found out that you're seeing someone.
Uh, I'm not pissed, though.
Just… a little disheartened that, uh… that you didn't just tell me.
I thought we were friends.
Mr. Mike.
-Andrea? -Yeah.
-You're back! -Mm.
-I'm here on behalf of Ms. Stevie. -Ah.
-She's really not doing well. -Really?
She doesn't eat. She doesn't sleep. She doesn't do anything!
-I think she's depressive. -What?
-Depressive! -Oh.
-Work, work, work. Stress, stress, stress. -Yeah… Mm-hmm.
Well, she could just unleash her inner diva, am I right?
Nah. You could give her a call, right?
You could take her out to a nice restaurant.
-Yeah-- -You could help her.
Trust me. I've been down that road. I did my best. It didn't work out.
-This is your pride talking, sir. -Yeah.
-You still love each other. I can tell! -Yeah.
Um, Andrea?
Wait, hey! Mr. Mike--
Having a rough night?
Thought a celebration was in order.
-Who said that? -Ivo.
-Oh. -You have a restaurant opening, right?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if it's even worth it.
Well, I actually might have the perfect job for you.
Huh?
A month ago, I took control of this business, but, uh…
-Finding staff's difficult. -Mm.
-Yeah. What kind of business? -A restaurant.
But we also serve craft cocktails.
To Yücel. Let's cherish our lives, Ief. We don't know what's coming.
Greg? You spilled the secret about Pam and Armand?
No. No, that was Ivo.
What? No. It was Mike. He said it.
So you just went and told everyone that showed up tonight?
Calm down, okay?
Pam's all pissed off with me because you can't keep your mouth shut!
-I mean, come on. -Merel… Wait, please. I…
Ah, fuck me. How come she's always angry?
I can't do this anymore. It's gonna kill me.
-Hi. -Hey.
Ief, there's someone here for you.
Hey. Glad you came tonight.
Yeah, uh… uh, might be a good thing for us, uh… to talk for a minute.
Yeah, sure.
I think that… with us…
I mean… I don't know, honestly… Maybe I was idealizing things a little.
-Hm. Mm. -I've changed too, you know.
I think we've both changed… in positive ways.
Um, but… I'm not sure that…
Are you leaving me?
Uh… Uh…
Yeah.
Unless you don't want that.
-It's okay, I'm not upset. -Mm.
And you don't have to move out. I know that it's my turn.
But you'll have to be patient while I find a new place and figure it out.
-Yeah. -You know, it's an adjustment…
So it's gonna take a second to get used to the idea.
Yes, of course.
-I feel bad, Dee. I, um… -Yeah.
I imagined it differently too.
-Oh, no, honey. Hey, it's okay. -Sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh, come on. Hey! Honey! No, wait. Hey!
-Yeah. -Jesus.
-That was awful, huh? -No kidding.
Looked like she was taking it well at first.
Getting back together then dumping the woman again is pretty awful.
-Yeah, toxic. -Mm-hmm.
That friend of yours… asked me to work at his restaurant.
I could even get a stake.
Everyone's fighting over good employees. The police are having the same problem.
I just hope he doesn't have, uh, ulterior motives, you know?
-Yeah. -'Cause then, before you know it…
Okay, girls. We should wind it down. Got my pitch in the morning.
Oh, how is that new job, Mike?
Terrific. The only other man is a frustrated bureaucrat.
So it's all women otherwise?
They play for the other team for the most part.
Oh.
Do you realize we're halfway through our lives already?
Mm.
Yeah.
And the worst part's coming.
-Lovely way to end the night. -Yeah.
Okay, dudes. Who's down for a quick swim? Come on.
-Great idea. Yeah. -Yep.
Yeah.
-Know what? I'm in. -All right.
-Go, go, go, go, go. Wait. Okay. -Yeah.
Three, right, two, one…
-Yeah! -You guys are assholes!
-How about a beer, guys? -What about your pitch?
Oh, my pitch? Well, uh… work-life balance, Greg.
-Have fun. -Very important.
Hey, this isn't that bad. .