So… okay.
-How do I look? -Or the macho guy?
Very macho, very manly.
Yeah? Okay. So, like, uh, good macho, or…?
-Classy macho. -Classy macho.
Uh, so no polo shirt?
Hmm.
Hey, why don't you come watch? The boys are coming.
You want me at your stupid course?
You know that I'm losing followers 'cause of your sexist drivel, don't you?
-Seriously? -Yeah. I've got haters now.
They attack me 'cause they know you're my husband.
They're just trolls. Don't worry about that.
Baby, you wanted me to use this time to rediscover myself, right?
Well, ta-da!
I'm back! It's been so long since I've felt this good.
You know, I was thinking,
uh, the two of us could take a little break right now, just to relax.
-Oh, come on. Stop. -You're so tense.
Ok, we'll revisit this tonight, fine, that's cool.
Sweetheart, I can't help it if you're jealous.
It takes a strong woman to be with a successful man.
Hey. Were you all able to take
the day off from getting your balls busted?
That's right!
Guys, what kind of age are we living in?
'Cause men aren't… allowed to be men right now.
Yep.
It starts early. In kindergarten.
Boys have to sit there. The whole day, they have to be still, no moving.
They should be running, fighting, doing it all!
-Yeah! -But no, boys. Not anymore.
No. Go ahead, try to find me a urinal. 'Kay? An old-fashioned piss pot.
Good luck finding me one of those in the sea of gender-neutral toilets.
Yeah!
So is it surprising that modern men are all confused?
-No! -Exactly.
'Kay, women…
they tend to talk a lot about… equality nowadays.
Right? And that's great.
But… equality… doesn't mean that we're all alike…
or that we're somehow the same as women.
-No! -Exactly.
But that's what they're telling us. So let's stand up to them.
Yes!
-And I mean that literally. Get up, guys. -Yeah!
Now it's time to… show you… how to get back to… being masculine again.
-Yeah! -Follow my lead.
First, feel your balls.
-Yeah! -This is your meaty, warm sack.
This makes you a man.
Feel 'em roll, huh?
Know how to make those nuggets shake? Try jumping. Hmm?
C'mon, jump. Jump, you guys!
-Sorry, guys. -Had enough balls for today?
-I can't. -Feel your manhood!
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
-What are we? -Roosters!
-Louder, guys! -Roosters!
-Shout it! -Roosters!
ROOSTERS
The whole apartment smelled like the inside of a gym sock.
It was so gross.
It was like walking into a… into a… football locker room or something.
It was just…
-What's my problem? Was this a mistake? -You were unfulfilled.
Yeah, well, I'm still unfulfilled.
You were missing the attention, and, uh… and you certainly got it.
I didn't. That was another Merel.
Please don't talk in the third person. It's eerie.
-Hey mom, can I, uh…? -No, not right now, sweetheart.
Later. I'm talking to Auntie Pam about grown-up things.
Okay.
Well, at least Ramon reminded you that you need to put yourself first again.
Yeah. Fantastic. Right when Greg starts exercising
for the first time ever.
-What do you mean? -He runs all of a sudden.
I didn't even think he knew how.
-What? Greg? -What if he has a new girlfriend now?
Ah, no way. I doubt it.
I mean, he probably just wants to feel good. Like you.
-Wait, what is this? Look at that! -Oh.
I know I swore I'd never do it in a million years, but, um…
Daan really wanted to, and, uh…
We're getting an airtight prenup.
Oh my God, that's awful, honey.
Or it's so… I'm sorry. It's wonderful. It's wonderful.
I am just so happy for you guys. Wow.
-Oh, sweetheart. -No, don't do it!
Just sit still!
-You should have told me right away. -Yeah, well…
-What are you guys doing? -Wasn't the right moment.
Dad, you're not done. Ten notches on the bedpost, remember?
-You're only at nine. -Yeah, and nine out of ten is good too.
If you got more 90s on your tests, your mother wouldn't complain.
That's why we're doing this.
-So you don't have to listen to her. -I'm not listening anymore.
Machteld. She's 58, and she loves Jamiroquai.
Oh, 58, Tess? Come on, really?
-And you're sure she likes Jamiroquai? -Yep.
Dad, come on. It's like you're running a marathon.
There's only 100 meters left, and you just stop.
Okay.
This is the last one. Doing it for you.
Hey, your keys.
A magician? C'mon, he's only eight once. I think we can do better than that.
Oh, so now you get to play the fun dad?
You've always been so stingy, and now suddenly, it's a bonanza?
Stingy?
Yeah! You send a Zelle request whenever we go out to eat.
-You wanted to share. -It's my week. I'll figure it out.
Wait! No! Uh-uh, er…
No. Nu-uh! Birthdays and holidays are exceptions.
-We agreed to that. -Okay, maybe we should ask Jason now.
-Hey! Oh, wow. -Look out.
-Oh, you're such a child! -Run. Oh!
-I got you. -Yep.
He really is the best magician in the whole world.
He can actually make animals out of balloons.
How cool's that?
Or… a pool party over at Uncle Mike's!
-Pool party! -Yeah!
Hey, hey, hey. You can be there too.
Gee, thanks… for inviting me to my own son's birthday party.
Bye, Mom.
Hey, cut Mom a break. It's over with Ramon.
Four of our five major sponsors dropped us and cut ties this week.
-Oh. -Five.
The invitation to that TV gala was just withdrawn.
-What about the dress? -The designer wants that back too.
-Ugh! -Suus posted she thinks he's disgusting.
You could like that. That'd be a start, at least.
Well, the best thing to do here would be to break up with him, I guess.
With Mike? I love Mike!
Yeah, but heartbreak isn't forever. Being cancelled is.
Okay. What if I come out and say that I don't agree with my husband,
But sometimes opposites attract?
No, don't do that. Wait for it to blow over. A cyber coma.
Look, Stevie, why are you with someone who says things like that?
He doesn't mean it. Okay? It's true.
Really?
Mm.
Hello?
How come you never pick up?
Tina?
I deleted your number.
What? Why?
Well, uh… I thought that, um… after what you said about my…
my one-time problem, we were taking a break for a while…
Ugh.
Uh, tomorrow. Can you meet like usual?
Well, I don't know, that, uh…
-Hey. -Hi. That's a bad idea, okay?
Why's that?
-You're in an open situation, right? -Yes, that's true, but uh…
We're closing things up again. Sorry.
Hey, come on, Daan. It's important.
I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now.
Okay. Okay, but we're just gonna talk. Ya hear me, Tina?
-We were just supposed to talk. -Oh, yeah… Later.
-This is it. The last go round, Tina. -Yeah.
-Sorry. -Oh, Daan!
Sorry.Yeah!
Tina, listen--
-Hey, what the hell? Who is that? -What? What are you doing?
-Danny? -Sweet memories, jack off.
-I'll kill you. Motherfucker! -Don't… What the fuck?
-What the fuck? -That asshole dumped me. Like he's great!
What the fuck?
Whoa!
And why'd you sleep with Tina again, man?
God, I don't know.
Just… old habits.
I guess that class was a huge waste of money.
Oh. If Pam finds out, there's no way she'll marry me.
I'm screwed. Things were going so well.
-Can't you settle it with Bas directly? -How, exactly?
Don't know. Sell him your share of the restaurant.
Give him a good price. Bury the hatchet.
My share is still in Pam's name.
-What? Why though? -You know, I…
I mean, it was a tax move, really.
Yeah, but you have to make sure she gives you power of attorney.
-I can't lose that share. -Whoa.
Well, would you rather… be alone with your money…
or broke with Pam?
I need Pam. I can't lose her.
Should've thought of that before you jumped into bed with Tina.
Oh, there's my girl. Why don't you come outside?
Everything okay?
No, Mike. Everything is not okay.
Come on, babe. You lost a few followers. Don't let it get you down.
I start my own business, and then you have to piss all over it.
I mean, you're never happy when I succeed, are you?
Uh-uh. Hey, hey, hey.
I think you might be struggling with my success, honey.
No, Mike. I'm struggling with your new posts.
They're nasty and vile. You don't mean all that stuff, do you?
No, of course not. It's just a role.
-It's the thing you do. -That's not.
-Of course. -It's not!
-It is. -It's not!
We both sell bullshit, sweetie.
We sell bullshit to people that… that are dumb enough to believe anything.
-Hey, I have real faith in what I do. -Yeah.
You hate the acai shakes you're always promoting.
Yeah. That doesn't hurt anybody.
No, but you tell everyone they can buy their way to happiness.
-That hurts people. -'Kay, and my yoga content?
I'm positive, and I motivate people to exercise.
-Right, by posting in those tight clothes. -See? I had a feeling it wasn't a role!
-No, hey-- -You mean all that stuff!
Since when did you become a feminist?
Since you started your douchebag phase!
-Okay… -Mike!
-I know you love me. -Of course I do, honey.
Then will you prove it and stop the macho nonsense?
Well, maybe you should stop. I mean, you're losing followers.
I get new ones every day. Oh.
Hang on a sec.
Oh.
Okay… It's Joost. From my old job.
He might be… inviting me onto their talk show soon.
Mm!
Joost, hey. What's up?
Oh yeah, I've got an opinion on that. Yeah.
Ah, that sounds great. I'd be happy to.
-Hey. -Hey, where you been?
Yeah, sorry. I was just helping out.
We were all over at Mike's,
uh… just putting some stuff out for the party for Jason.
Oh, nice.
So… Hi.
Y'know, lately, I've been thinking
I could sell all of my shares in the restaurant.
I could quote Bas a price.
-Oh, really? Why? -Yeah. Well…
That line of work is exhausting. It's such a slow-burn kinda business.
That's what I've always said.
I know. And then we'll have a load of cash left over
for our honeymoon.
Mm!
You give me power of attorney. I'll sort everything out with the notary.
-Hmm. -Okay?
Wait, shouldn't I come with you?
Nah, babe. You really don't need to do that.
-It's just a piece of paper, right? -Oh, sweetheart.
These sorts of things can be really tricky.
You will definitely need a lawyer to look into it.
And I happen to be an excellent one. Nice, huh?
-But, sweetie. Sweetie… -Relax.
I really just don't want to bother you with this.
Oh, honey.
We'll share everything soon. That's the only reason to get married.
-So… -Yeah?
I'm coming with.
Yeah.
Here, have a little more.
-You gave me two helpings. -You have to eat.
Mom, I said I'm full.
I can't hear this thing.
That's 'Cause you can't hear anything, Dad. Come on.
What'd you say?
Mm.
-Who is it? -Mike.
-Hey. -Hey, I've got some bad news, man.
You have to find another place to have the party.
-What? No, no, no, no. What's going on? -What's happening?
The gardener, he, he… he spread fertilizer on the lawn,
and it's probably, you know, really poisonous, so, it's uh…
I'll keep 'em off the grass. Trust me. Don't worry.
Yeah, but, uh, Stevie's been a little depressed.
She's, uh, really struggling, and it's a bit, uh…
He's lying, Greg! You and Jason are always welcome.
Uh, Mike? What's going on?
Okay, look. Tomorrow I have an interview on TV.
-Okay, but it's at your house? -No, it's in Hilversum.
And, uh, I won't be around.
And, yeah, like 20 little kids in my house, it's…
I can't… supervise them, you know what I mean?
Mike, I promise I'll keep an eye on them. And Stevie will be there too.
-Yeah… -Dude. I'm serious.
If I cancel it now, Jason's never gonna wanna see me again.
Okay, but you promise… no kids in my house?
Ah. Okay. Yep. I promise.
What really matters, huh? Your house or your friends?
Yeah, keep talking. You're not paying the mortgage.
Yeah, because you won't let me.
Hey.
Hey. Watch it.
Hey. Mike, thanks. This is so chill.
-I owe you. -Yeah. Sure.
Well, we're just happy to have you here, Greg.
-Just what you need. More sugar. -Look at you!
Let's go, kids.
-Hey. See you. Catch ya later. -See ya. Break a leg.
Check it out.
-Look at this. -Yeah.
-How much did this cost? -Wasn't so bad.
-It came with the swimming pool. -Oh. Yeah.
-Good deal. -That was lucky.
So I heard things didn't really work out with Mr., uh, Ramon.
That sucks.
-How'd you know that? -Our daughter.
-Right. Of course. -Yeah.
Ya know, I… I could probably get him arrested.
-No, that's not necessary. -No?
It was my decision, actually.
Oh. Huh.
Could be fun anyway.
This party's amazing, Dad. It's the best!
Hmm. Yeah.
EXIT
-Hey, man. Hey, Joost. -Hey.
-Hey, bud. -Who would've thought, huh?
-Yeah. -First, I'm getting fired.
'Cause of sexism, and… and before you know it, yeah,
I'm back again for an interview.
Yeah, you know, I gotta say, that, uh…
that course you're doing has really made a splash, no denying that, Mike.
Man, oh man.
Yeah, I thought maybe it was finally time that men got true support.
Support? Honestly, half of the Netherlands hates you right now.
Yeah, sure, but the other half loves me.
I, uh… I brought, uh, something to show you.
It's a format for a series.
I just wanted to run it by the bosses.
-Hmm. -Roosters: The Series?
Yeah, see, the title is… ironic… humor.
-Mm. -Yeah.
-Can Mr. Mulder come to makeup? -Yeah.
-We're live in ten minutes. -Yes, got it. No, that's for you.
"Roosters: The Series."
-Sweetie… -Hmm?
Um, listen. Things might get kinda weird between me and Bas today.
Oh, why's that?
Well, uh… when we opened our relationship, I had sex with Tina.
What?
Uh, she was always flirty with me, and, uh…
you wanted me to look around and have fun, so it just happened one night.
Yeah, but… But your partner's wife? C'mon, Daan.
Ah, There you are.
-Ah. -Afternoon. Are we ready?
-Maarten. Yeah. -Of course.
Hi.
So, we're here to conduct the sale of certain shares
in your restaurant in which you both hold a 50% stake.
-Yeah. We share everything. Even my wife. -Guys, hey…
So you knew? That they screwed? Because they didn't tell me.
Bas, let's just be professional here.
He could have any damn woman he wants, but he takes mine.
Hey, she took me, okay?
Good. On to the transaction.
First, take a look at the agreement.
Fine.
-You're completely fine with this, Pam? -Bas, shit happens. Right?
Jesus, blame monogamy. It's a flawed and problematic construct.
Yes. Yeah, I definitely agree with that.
Yeah? So you're okay with two years of him screwing Tina?
Two years?
Yeah.
-That's what she told me anyway. -You mean you were cheating?
Don't you have an open relationship?
-Yeah. -Yeah. As of three months ago.
Pam, Pam… It's… it's not what it sounds li--
Sorry, I'm afraid if Pam doesn't sign this,
I'll have to take the deal off the table.
Yep.
Mike Mulder, influencer and life coach.
Welcome. How are you?
Great. Very good. Excellent. Uh…
Since I proudly embraced my manhood, I'm back to my old self again.
Right, you're referring to your course, uh, "Back to Being Cocky."
Yeah.
Don't you think it's a little late to be battling feminism, Mike?
Well, I have no problem with feminism.
The more female energy, the better.
However, I just reject the idea that men should act like women.
-Explain that. -Well, uh…
Why can't we own up to the fact women and men are different?
It doesn't have to be negative.
Can you give us an example?
Sure, just look at our roles right now. I'm talking, and you're interviewing.
-Yeah. -So why is that?
Hmm? Is it because most women
actually tend to be better at asking questions,
and most men are better at giving answers.
I'm sorry, but you're… I mean, c'mon, you gotta be joking, Mike.
Well, what do you think? Here's my main point, 'kay?
Men have always had strong, masculine role models. Right?
But now that's forbidden.
And that's why we're all a little bit confused.
-Men are the victims in your view? -Well…
Here's the crux of my message for you, and, uh… and, yeah, actually
to… all, uh… the audience.
We're equal, yes, but we're not the same.
-Do all men agree with this, Mike? -Oh yeah, and women too.
You'd never believe how many emails I get
every single day from women who are longing
for the dudes in their life to bend them over
and take them the old-fashioned way.
-Look, it's true… -Miss Stevie! Come here!
They're in the house!
Miss Stevie, there are kids with water pistols inside the house.
-What should I do. -Eh, it's okay.
Wait, Miss Stevie. Mr. Mike said no kids inside.
Mike says stupid things, Andrea.
Hurry up, there are kids inside with water guns. We have to get them!
-You go left, I go right. -Yep. Okay. Out. Come on.
Get out of here.
Uh, no, no. Hey, no. Not with that water gun. Oh…
Not the squirt guns. Come on. Get outside.
Hey, hey, hey. Come on out! I'm serious. Hey, what the…? Ugh…
What? What?
-What are you doing? Wait. No. -No. Hey.
That's not yours. Okay?
You look great, though.
Wanna try it?
Right. I wouldn't be able to fit one leg in there.
-Make you think of…? -You mean that time…
"Oh, Greg, take me."
"I need it."
-I didn't… -Yeah?
It's so embarrassing. I don't wanna…
I should have done it, though.
What?
I should've taken every part of you. Really. I…
I mean, you were totally right. The effort wasn't there.
I thought everything would be fine.
I'm sorry, baby.
Oh yeah, that's it.
-Oh my God, I missed you! -Yeah, me too.
Yeah. Oh! Like that!
-Mm! -Oh!
Shh.
-And your wife. Um, Stevie? -Yeah.
What does she think about your views?
She completely agrees with me. And Stevie's always been…
-Very successful on her own. -Mm.
Clearly, my wife was never much for weak men.
Weak men? Isn't that painting with a broad stroke and…
What?
Okay. Um…
Mike, we actually have Stevie live.
She just called in on our studio phone.
Stevie.
Hello.
Hey, honey. Mm.
Mike, I can't do this anymore.
What?
I can't be with a man who's peddling this kind of crap.
You just spoke to men that can't handle a strong woman,
and you created a business model out of their misogyny.
I can't believe how pathetic that is.
Hey, sweetheart. Why don't we just talk about this later?
I used to find that macho stuff really attractive,
but everything's changing, honey.
I'm sorry, Mike.
But I know that if I stay with you, I'll end up losing myself.
This is over.
Mm.
Well, I think I have, uh… everything.
Just text me… if I forgot something, and I'll swing by.
I'll just put it in the garbage.
-Uh, Pam, I-- -I've got something for you.
Hmm?
Put it under warm water.
Hey, sweetheart. Uh…
-Hey, Dad. -Back a little early?
Yeah. Who's in there?
Uh…
-Mm. Um… -Ten women? Oh my God!
I'm so proud of you, Dad!
-You're officially over Mom. Yay! -Mm.
Hey, honey.
Are we celebrating?
I just need to put some clothes on, and let's order a pizza yeah?
Mm.
All that work, and then you do this?
You do realize this means you have to start over?
No, it's completely different now. She's so much sweeter, and the sex…
-Oh. No, stop. Mm! -It was a three-round knockout.
In bed. In the shower…
Oh, wait, Tess…
I need my Tinder account deactivated.
Hold on.
Or maybe just pause it. You never know.
Thanks for the party, Dad. It was awesome.
-Thank Mom. -Thanks, Mom.
Mm-hmm. Here, let me sit down. Of course, sweetie. C'mon. Bedtime.
-I can't believe Lexi won today. -Won what?
Hide-and-seek. She was in Uncle Mike's bedroom the whole time.
She didn't get scared that she was all alone?
No, because you guys were there too.
She said you were fighting.
-Fighting? -Uh, no.
She said that you were cursing super loud and that you gave Mom a spanking.
Uh. All right, remind Lexi to save her imagination for story time, okay?
-Yeah. Sleep tight, baby. -Okay, go to sleep.
Sleep tight.
-Damn you, Lexi. -Not good.
-We were fighting. -I know. I feel terrible!
Oh man.
We gonna talk about today?
I just found you very attractive.
Yeah, likewise.
And now?
Oh, definitely.
God, it's so stupid that it works when we're not together,
but the second we actually decide to--
Yeah, sometimes you have to get away first… to come back.
Oh my God. #GoodLifeWithStevie.
Nah. My mother.
Oh!
All right. What now? What's the plan?
Yeah, I don't know.
If we get back together, we might… we might get bored again.
Yeah, but I don't wanna be separated either.
No. You're right.
So?
Yeah, so…
Um…
Do you think…
is an open relationship an option for us?
-Uh… oh… Greg! -Yeah. Uh…
Mm?
I'm back.
There she is!
Honey, that little stunt was a stroke of genius!
I didn't get it at first, but… …God, that was so clever.
Here. Wait a sec. We're trending, honey!
You've got your status back as a women's empowerment guru,
and, well, my course is, uh, blowin' up!
Uh…
-Where are you off to? -I'm leaving.
C'mon, really?
Sweetheart.
Look, being with you has taught me a lot.
Really, thanks to you, I found my independence.
Otherwise, I might've wound up just laying out by the pool forever.
Seriously. Thank you.
Uh…
Okay.
-We can go back to how things were. -Yeah, I don't want that.
Mm.
Sorry.
-Andrea, you're leaving too? -Women support women, okay?
But I've been your meal ticket. You work for me.
No, listen, I used to work for you. And, sorry, but I work for her now.
What does it really mean to be a man?
The masculine man is a sick man.
And if we surrender our privilege,
let go of our ambition and aggression,
begin to acknowledge our true vulnerability,
learn how to forgive ourselves and others,
devote ourselves to caring for our children,
none of that will diminish our manhood.
The hyper-masculine man who dominated the past,
the man obsessed with power, strength, and success,
that man has no place in our future.
It's crucial that we model behaviors
that have traditionally been considered feminine.
Because those are part of us too.
We're not there yet, but we're on the journey.
The journey from unfeeling, insensitive man… to a new kind of man.
That's where we're headed.
Good luck, gentlemen.
Check it out! The two of us are now… officially enlightened, deconstructed men.
Boom.
Dude, you're back with your ex. You should ask for a refund.
But there's one for you. Here you go, man.
Hey!
Great, that's nice, I'll put it up next to my scuba certificate on the wall.
Give it a rest. That stupid course was just a totally backward view of men.
The course was? Or we are?
Come on.
Oh. Here.
You must be Mike Mulder.
Yes, ma'am. And you are?
-Oh! -Fucking asshole.
Whoa. What the fuck?
Whoa, calm down.
Ah, shoot. Son of a bitch.
I hate to say it, but you might have had this coming.
-Come on. -Sorry. I'm just being honest.
♪ The boys watch the girls While the girls watch the boys ♪
♪ Who watch the girls go by ♪
-Ah. -♪ Eye to eye… ♪
Really? Nothing?
-Not even a whistle? -Eh.
Well, looks like that course wasn't a complete waste, after all.
-Hey. -Huh?
Okay, guys, let's do this!
Yes, come on, boys.
-Bring it. -I'll eat you alive!
♪ Guys talk ♪
♪ Girl talk ♪
♪ It happens everywhere ♪
♪ Eyes watch ♪
♪ Girls walk ♪
♪ With tender lovin' care ♪
♪ It's keepin' track of the pack ♪
♪ Watching them watching back ♪
♪ That makes the world go round ♪
♪ What's that sound? ♪
♪ Each time you hear A loud collective sigh ♪
♪ They're making music to watch girls by ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Watch the girls go by ♪
, la, la, la ♪