Well, good morning.
Oh. Good morning.
And? How was your date?
Yeah. Good.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Okay, I wanna know.
Or… do you want me to go first?
Okay, um…
-Yeah? -Yeah, well… we were…
-We were meeting at a cocktail bar. -Mm-hmm?
And I… got there a little early,
so I waited at the bar with a G and T until she got there.
-Mm. -Then I saw her.
She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
Sorry?
-Figuratively speaking. -Oh.
Yeah. Really sexy.
Who was she?
-Loes. -Loes?
Yeah.
Well, that's not very hot.
Yeah, but she's Spanish, so "Luz."
Aha.
And then?
Yeah, well, you know, I got us some drinks.
We hit it off pretty fast.
I mean, she laughed at my jokes. She was funny too.
We talked for hours. It just flew by.
Then we went somewhere more private.
She lived close by.
So we walked to her place,
and she couldn't keep her hands off me.
-Of course not. -Then… she started kissing me at her door.
-Really? -Yeah.
And she invited me upstairs.
How was it?
-Was she good? -So good.
-But nothing compared to you. -Oh, good.
And while we were making love, she kept breathing sweet words
against my neck.
"Oh, j'adore."
"J'adore. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
-"Oh, j'arrive, j'arrive, j'arrive." -Um… um…
-In French? -"Oui--"
-You said she was Spanish. -Hmm?
Yes, Spanish. With a French, uh… mother.
Daan, did you just make up this whole thing?
No.
No… why would I…
-Such bullshit. -What?
Yeah. You made all of that up, didn't you?
No. No.
I…
Okay, fine. I'm lying.
I didn't go out.
Jesus.
What? You're upset that I'm not sleeping with another woman?
No. I'm mad that you're lying, which is what we were trying to avoid doing.
Look, I… It weirds me out, Pam.
Can't you understand that?
Daan, look. Of course. I get it.
I'm not expecting it to be easy.
But… I trust you.
I trust us.
I know.
Hey, we didn't make all those arrangements for nothing.
Just give it a chance.
Mm.
ROOSTERS
This is Mike, my husband.
He also works for @GoodLifeWithStevie.
-Mike, this is Booth and Zoey. -Hey.
Hey. It's really nice to meet you.
So… the sunroom, the kitchen, the garden.
-The garden. -Let me know if you have questions.
-Who are they? -They're from my agency.
They're here to work on my branding.
For branding?
A new lifestyle brand wants a collaboration.
And we're getting furniture for free. So great.
-But we just got new furniture. -Ah, don't worry.
On the internet, people will pay a fortune for stuff like this.
-Ah. Okay. -Bye.
-You too. -Honey?
Mm?
Before I forget.
This is for you.
What is this for?
Okay. All these years, you provided for us.
And now it's my turn.
I've been waiting years to say this.
Go buy something for yourself.
Uh, sorry. This is just strange.
-What do you mean? -Well…
I work with you, not for you. I mean, you're not my boss, so…
So when you gave me a credit card, were you my boss?
Uh, no, no. That's not it.
So what is it?
I'm a man. Get it?
A man must hunt. Food, money.
That's nature.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, you should go hunting.
Great.
Yeah, be right there.
Someone needs to go hunt the groceries. I would love to do it together.
But I have to work.
See ya.
Yeah, too late.
-Fun shopping trip, Mike? -Yeah.
I didn't know Stevie could afford an errand boy.
-A pack horse. -The mule.
Wow. Shame that you still think in those gender roles.
Ooh, gender roles.
Yeah. I think it's great that Stevie and Mike divide all the chores.
-There he is. "Progress-Ivo." -I do.
Or I'm more in tune with the changing times, Danny.
Sure.
Which is exactly why Tess has the courage to love who she wants.
-Huh? -Is Tess a lesbo?
Mm, the term's actually "queer." But, yeah.
So I don't have to worry about horny boys on fat bikes.
My daughter's into sweet and nice women.
I wouldn't say "sweet." I've seen some movies, and…
-Whoo! Holy moly! -Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-You can learn a thing or two from them. -Dang!
What are you, ten years old?
-Whoo-hoo! -Come on. Let's play already.
Ugh. What am I doing, Pam?
I probably never should have asked for your advice at all.
Whoa, whoa. I am not to blame for this.
An open relationship is not the same as cheating.
But he keeps texting.
And if he doesn't text, I keep checking to see if he's texted yet.
-He's driving me nuts. -Mm.
I just really want for Greg and I to be more open-minded. That's all.
Like you guys.
Hey, we're still getting used to it too.
Oh, so you do have a hard time sharing Danny.
I knew it.
No. No, no, no. He's having a hard time with it.
Yeah. Maybe he's more of a one-woman guy than I thought.
Danny?
Yeah.
I get it, but I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
And what if this ends up costing me my marriage?
Come on. All this over one orgasm?
Two?
Oh wow. Does he have brothers?
Greg needs to inject testosterone just to be able to have sex with me.
I mean, that says it all.
Just be honest with him. He deserves to know how you feel.
Otherwise, what kind of marriage do you have? Just tell him the truth.
I don't know if I can do that.
Then you have to cancel your gym membership.
Uh, no! I renewed the damn thing.
Well, at least you know you're getting your money's worth, then.
Elsbeth!
Oh. Ah.
She looks nice.
She's 47, a journalist, and gluten-free.
-Uh, is that a problem, though? -Uh, no.
But, um, Tess…
-Look, about last night. That girl. -Yeah, I won't bring people back here.
Oh, what? No, that's not what I meant.
Um, Tess…
I want you to know I'm on board with the queer thing.
Dad, I don't use labels.
Sure.
But, mm, whenever you do have visitors, it would be nice
if I knew in advance so I'm not surprised.
Okay, that's fair. What should I do?
Uh…
What if I leave the coatrack on top of the stairs? Okay?
Uh…
Visitor? Coatrack. Check?
-Check. -Check.
And check.
Can I get you lovely ladies anything else today?
A menu or… my phone number?
No, we're okay.
-Well, cheers to the new home. -Okay.
Hey, Chantal.
It's Danny.
Yeah, I know. It's definitely been a while, huh?
But how about the two of us get together tonight?
Oh, con… congratulations.
And when are you due?
That's so great. Yeah, no…
I am so stupid. I just noticed…
I'm not actually available tonight, after all.
Yeah. Yeah. You too. Yeah. So long.
-Huh? -What?
I'm just calling to check reservations.
-Okay. -Yeah.
-Sure. -Okay.
-Hey, Tina. -Hey, Danny.
-I was just thinking about you. -What for?
Shouldn't you be thinking about your wedding?
No, no. You were totally right. I'm not a one-woman man.
-Seriously? -Mm-hmm.
-So Pam said no? -No, no.
We actually decided it was best to have an open relationship.
So what do you think of that?
Oh, yeah?
Listen, if you're up for it, I've got something hard I could--
Hard?
I don't remember it like that.
-Hey, honey. Hi. -Hi, love.
Um, were you able to find the key?
Sure did.
This is the storage key, and I need the shed key.
Fine, Jesus. Do it yourself.
Come on.
-Bye, Danny. -Yeah, bye. Oh!
Hi.
Ah, Mr. Mike.
-Hey. -Did you pick up the groceries?
Yeah.
-How sweet. -Yeah.
Uh-oh. You didn't buy the right detergent.
No?
Miss Stevie likes fabric softening detergent.
Oh, okay. They do the same thing, though, right?
-It's not a big deal, sir. -No, it's not.
-As long as it cleans, right? -Yeah, it's not such a big deal.
Yeah.
-Sir? -Hmm?
I have something for you.
For me? What?
Saint George.
Oh.
He protects all of the artists.
Artists?
-You created Fuck Island. Am I right? -Yes.
That show touched millions of people across our world.
-Yeah. -Right?
Fuck Island, sir.
How great.
You got this.
Yeah.
And breathe it out in four, three, two…
-Did you tell Andrea that I was fired? -One.
Uh, she noticed you were at the house more often,
and she asked me why you looked so sad.
I didn't want to lie to her.
So, you thought, what?
You would share my personal life with the housekeeper?
Come on. She's more than the housekeeper. She's a friend.
She even offered to quit so she wouldn't be a burden on us.
That's how sweet she is.
-What? -Yeah.
It would save money.
And you're going to clean?
Hey, wha… wha… what is this?
This is the meditation tiara.
"Clear your mind with the relaxing sound of nature."
Is there anything you won't promote?
Do you mind? My followers want a new post.
Hi. Sorry. Hectic day. Ivo.
I'm Elsbeth. Nice to meet you.
Hey, Tess, what is this?
She's not anything like her picture.
Yeah. So what? You don't look the same in yours, Dad.
That's not what I mean. She's…
Uh……bigger.
Body-shaming? That's so rude, Dad.
And why do all women have to be skinny anyway?
Fight against the tyranny of body image.
Hey, that's not fair. Just a minute.
Beauty standards are an arcane practice imposed by the patriarchy.
Dad, this woman is comfortable in her skin.
Yeah. Too comfortable.
Liberate yourself!
Sorry about that.
My daughter never learned to work the TV remote.
-Yeah, the TikTok generation. -Right.
Hey, uh… you come here often?
Yeah. Can you tell?
-No. Uh, I didn't mean it that way. Sorry. -Yeah, I'm kidding.
Yeah, no. I actually come here all the time.
I really love Mexican. Uh, and you?
Yeah, uh…
Oh shit.
-Ivo. -Hey.
Hey.
-This is a surprise. -Yeah.
Hmm. Didn't think you liked Mexican food.
Yeah, well, tastes can change.
I can see that.
-Hi. Desirée. -Hi.
-Elsbeth. -Hi.
And our daughter?
Where is she tonight?
Uh, doing homework.
Yeah, and on TikTok, of course, right?
Ah. You're here with the dentist.
Yes. Well, don't let me bother you.
See ya.
Have a great time, you two.
Seriously, that's your ex?
-Yeah. -She's hot.
Really? Uh… Well, I don't really care about looks, so…
-Yeah, yeah. -No, no. Really, no.
The standards of beauty are so arcane.
I just can't stand it. Really.
Don't work too hard. Okay, sweetie?
Mm.
Hey. Where's my chair?
-Hmm? -My… My… My leather chair.
Where I always sit.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Booth thought it no longer matched my image.
We got 500 euros for it.
Not bad, though, right? It goes better with the rest.
-So, I have an idea. -Mm-hmm.
Actually, a proposal.
Mm.
A fun proposal?
-So… how would you feel… -Yeah?
About putting the mortgage in both our names from now on?
So I can help pay?
-That's so sweet, but no. -What?
Then we'd have to put the house in both our names.
Yeah. So?
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why not? We share everything already. Especially now.
Yeah, temporarily. I'll have a job again soon.
And you can stop with this… You know, this stuff.
-Hey, everything's gonna be fine. -Yeah, but I'm fine right now.
Maybe that's something you have to get used to.
But I think where we are right now is good for us.
It's perfectly even.
Right?
Yeah, but our relationship doesn't depend on whose name is on the house, right?
I agree.
So why not put both our names on the house together?
-Comfy couch, yeah? -It's good. Yeah.
Have fun?
-Why are you here? -Tess.
I called and texted, but she's not answering.
-She's doing homework. I told you. -I really hope she is.
The Parent Portal shows they have midterms next week.
What?
How can you know about Tinder…
Tess signed me up for that.
…but not have the app you need for your daughter's school?
Wait. Um…
Uh, tell you what. I'll talk to her.
Okay? I'll handle it.
-You'll handle it? -Yes.
I'm talking to my daughter.
Um, okay, but don't freak out.
She, uh, might have invited her girlfriend over
so they could do, um, homework together.
-Mom. -Hi.
Homework, huh? That's what this is?
Yes.
Okay, um…
Uh, hon, I think it's better if your girlfriend leaves for now.
-I thought that you… -I don't define myself. That's your job.
It's bad enough that you can't take care of yourself.
But I am not going to let you drag our baby
into this raunchy bachelor lifestyle you live.
She's just, uh, experimenting.
That's normal at her age, okay?
Yeah? And what if they don't use protection?
You'll deal with that child as well?
Did you use protection?
-No, but she only gave me a blow-- -Oh!
I make my own choices, Mom!
-You're not the boss of me. -Oh no? I'm still your mother, right?
And I'm telling you that you don't know what's best for you.
I am 16. I only answer to myself.
And now to Dad.
Listen to me.
If you fail these midterms,
I swear I am going to drag you out of this house.
Do you understand me?
Get up! Come on! Get out of this house!
It's going well, though, isn't it?
You've had more sex in one month than in the last four years.
It's not about the sex. I want a connection. To feel something.
Yeah, me too. But during the sex.
How are things? Are those shots working?
I've reached my ticket quota.
-What? -Is that Pam?
-Danny deserves to know, doesn't he? -Not our business. Don't get involved.
I would've wanted to know if my wife was cheating.
Your wife was cheating, though.
Yeah, but…
It's probably just a meeting.
In a hotel?
I'm not sure it was Pam, okay? So we should just let it go.
And if Merel was cheating? Don't you think you'd want to know?
Merel? Cheating?
It is Pam.
-They weren't in there for very long. -Enough for an espresso.
Shit.
-Straight ahead? -Uh, no. Turn right up there.
I MISS YOU
MISS YOU TOO
DRIVING SCHOOL MEREL CITY
NO ENTRY
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL DAY LONG. EVEN DURING MY WORKOUT.
What's he doing? Am I good?
Yeah. Keep going straight.
-Go straight? -Keep goin'.
KEEP GOING
There's cars coming at us.
Sorry.
I think you should do the talking.
What? You're the one who wants to tell her.
Uh…
-Oh, it's work. I gotta take it. -Right now, though?
Duty calls, man.
Uh, one minute.
Ivo? Did we have an appointment?
Uh, no. Um…
It's about you. And Danny.
Danny?
We saw you. Greg and I.
With another man.
Yeah. And?
Well, it's not my business, but Danny's my friend.
And if his girlfriend is cheating, then…
I'm not cheating.
I just don't want you guys to turn out like Desirée and I.
Neither do I. That's why we're doing this.
Daan and I have an open relationship.
What?
God forbid we end up like any of these couples here.
Hi. Be right with you.
CHECK IN HERE
Are you okay? What happened?
I don't know, I was just…
I just looked away for a second, and that idiot, he drove in…
Honey, come on.
A training car that drives the wrong direction?
How does that even happen?
-These guys can't stop laughing. -It's not funny.
Honey, you've been acting so…
If something's wrong, then I want to be there.
I've just been really stressed out.
And I, um… need a vacation.
Oh, honey.
Okay. Just go home. I'll take care of this, yeah?
Will you make it go away?
No way. No, I can't…
I can't do that.
Over here! This way!
Oh, just a second. Okay.
Jesus. Are we really waiting in this line just to get a picture taken?
Yeah, that's why I'm here.
Yeah.
At least you're getting paid.
Not.
-Seriously? -Yeah.
You should charge for this. It's free publicity.
-Yeah. For me. This is all networking. -Come on…
Stevie, your turn.
-Okay, let's go. -Yes. Let's go.
Oh! It's talent only. It's talent only on the carpet.
Dude, I'm her husband.
-Stevie! Yeah, great. -Come on.
Got it. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Just Stevie. Not the guy.
-Here! Perfect. -Thank you!
-Yes! Perfect! -Here!
Give us one more!
Yeah! Look at me! Wonderful!
Go.
Okay. Turn to the camera. Got it. Beautiful!
-Thank you! -Thank you!
And what do you do?
-This is my assistant, Mike. -Yeah, well, more like the manager.
-Oh, that's so nice. -Mm.
-So you work together. -Yeah.
I used to work with my boyfriend.
Well, he's my ex now.
All I can say is it was a disaster.
I could never do it. Brian is way too arrogant.
Also, critical. Do you agree?
Our arrangement is actually just, um… a transition.
Actually, I mean, this world isn't really, um…
Not what?
You know, we… we're not here for a literary award.
-Well, social media is also media. -Mm.
It's actually not that different from what you do. Or… did.
Sure, but all you have to do is laugh too loud at stupid pranks,
take lots of pictures of your feet,
look gratefully up at the sunset, put heart emojis on piglets,
and add #WomensEmpowerment on everything.
And throw on a filter. Boom! You get followers! Yay! Heh.
And that makes your last job better?
No. Now I have a really important job.
I have to make sure that Stevie always has her purse
and her lipstick.
We all know those are the things that really count.
-Well, you do more than that, right? -That's right. You're right.
Batman has Robin. Stevie has me. Mm.
This says it all. Plus-one. Fucked my way to the top.
And who would have thought, when I fell for a stewardess…
Oh, sorry, air hostess.
Inclusivity.
You two, go to sleep, okay?
Good night.
-Lights off. -Huh?
Turn the light off.
Turn around. Turn…
-Turn… Yeah. -Oh, but, Greg, I--
-I know. -Greg.
Don't look. Okay, walk slowly. Straight.
-Yes. -Listen to your husband.
-Okay. -Turn a bit. Yes.
-Okay. Don't look yet. -Mm-hmm.
Open your eyes.
Ta-da.
Oh, come on, honey. No candles, please. If one tips over--
I knew you would say that.
What is this?
It should be this way for us. It's how I want things to be for us.
And if it isn't like this… that's on me.
-Oh, Greg… -Merel, Merel…
I know it's been hard lately, and I know you feel you've been missing something.
And that's why I have a surprise for you.
A long weekend in Paris.
You shouldn't have.
You and me.
You said you needed a vacation. Well, here it is.
I want a divorce.
If that's Mom, I'm seriously calling the police.
-Well, uh, you okay? -Not really. You went to Pam's work today?
Um…
-Thanks for nothing. She's super pissed. -At me?
No, at me.
She thinks I'm not serious
because I didn't tell my friends about our open relationship.
So, you have an open relationship? For real?
Good for you. Monogamy sucks.
Listen, Danny, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help.
Oh yeah? Well, then you're coming out with me.
Me? Now?
Pam wants me to date someone.
I need you to be my wingman.
By myself, I'll look desperate, and, well… you're no competition. So…
Well, I actually… looked forward to a night at home on the couch.
Yeah, so did I.
But…
Mm.
-You're infuriating. You know that? -Oh yeah?
Oh, please. Let me get that.
-I'm your assistant, right? -You don't need to be a dick!
You made me look like a fool.
How? By saying that we work together?
No, what you said is that I'm your assistant.
Yeah, because you are!
No, darling, I work with you, not for you.
Okay. Are you really this upset that I'm getting more attention
than you are right now?
Well, honestly, I don't like the person being an influencer has made you into.
No, you'd prefer I was a stewardess.
Why are you doing this?
All the smiling and fake laughing every day.
I'm playing a role, Mike. A role. Yeah?
It's my job to sell things, and it helps to be liked by customers.
-But it's not the real you. -If that's what it takes, I'm in!
And anything's better than being a cynical old jerk
who always has something to say.
How attractive is that?!
Whatever.
Mm-mm!
Ivo, right there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which one's hotter? The blonde or the one with the glasses?
I think the blonde.
But damn, the one with the glasses is stacked.
I don't objectify women, Danny.
-No, you let Tess do that for you. -Hmm.
Ah.
-What do you think? -Girl, no. Don't worry--
Hey! I think we were in a class together. Was it science?
Uh, I don't think so.
Then why is there so much chemistry between us?
-Ief… -Shh!
-Hey. -Boom!
Whoo!
Boom!
That's so incredible.
I can't believe you're not a multimillionaire.
I have lots of talent. I took second place in the World Championship of Air Guitar.
-That's true. -Seriously?
Mm. Yeah. Ieffy Stardust.
Hey, Ief, um…
Weren't you heading home? Finish that quiet night on the couch?
-Yeah? -Yeah.
But maybe I'd like to play pool with you.
-Sure. -Yeah?
Yeah, I'm curious to know what went wrong at the finals.
Ah, out of tune.
Oh.
-Venmo me. -See you later.
I'll call you later.
So… it looks like they finally left the two of us alone, huh?
You need to work on your pickup lines, you know that?
It ain't working.
Before he even gets to the line, he's tackled, and he falls inside the box.
An undeserved victory.
-That's what I've been saying. -The cockblocker.
So? Did you have a good night?
Well, yeah, if you really want to know, it was…
Uh, it was fun.
Whoo.
But, uh, I slept at home.
-Me too, thanks to you. -Well…
Hey, damn. That's the guy from that class.
-Huh? -Who?
-The guy with the beard. -I don't know him.
That guy's the reason I got fired.
I thought you said you were replaced by some woman.
Yeah, but his class is the reason.
-What kind of class? -I don't know
-It's some sort of "new masculinity" crap. -Oh.
My boss went to his class,
and now everything was suddenly wrong with me.
Do you want me to throw him out?
Tell him to drink his oat milk somewhere else?
Just wait.
-What? Ief. -What? Ief, Ief.
-Keep it civil, okay? -What?
Hey, wait, but… What is… What is he doing?
-Oh yeah. Here we go. -What is he doing?
-He's not gonna do it. -Fuck.
-Oh shit. -Oh, oh, oh…
-What is he doing? -I don't know.
Ah…
What the fuck?
Well… So…
And? Did you give him a piece of your mind?
No. I enrolled us in his class.
-Oh… -What?
-No, you didn't. -Why not?
It could be beneficial for everyone.
Speak for yourself.
I am. But I think it could help you.
You couldn't even tell your friends that you're in an open relationship.
Ooh.
-That's not healthy. -Oh! So Pam's sleeping with other men?
You're one to talk.
Stevie is constantly showing her ass to the internet.
-Real funny. -That is true.
You can't even get it up.
And I've been divorced four years, and I'm not over my ex yet.
We all have problems. But we never talk about them.
A new time, a new man.
A NEW TIME, A NEW MAN