WEBVTT

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Uh, hello, everyone.

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I'm Ivo, and I'm a sexist.

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I'm Greg, and I'm also a sexist.

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I'm Mike, and apparently,
I too am a sexist.

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I'm Danny, and I--

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Fuck. Sorry, I can't.

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-Man, I don't want to do it.
-Really?

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See you at the bar.

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Sorry, I…

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Give him time, okay?
You're still here. That's what matters.

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Change is why
every one of you is here right now.

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You're ready to throw off
your shield of toxic masculinity.

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And you know what?

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I'm here to help you do it.

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These times call for a… new man.

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A NEW TIME
A NEW MAN

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How the hell
did we get ourselves into this?

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3 MONTHS EARLIER

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♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

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♪ Mama loves mambo ♪

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♪ Look at 'em sway with it
Gettin' so gay with it ♪

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♪ Shoutin' ole with it, wow ♪

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-♪ Uh! ♪
-♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

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♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

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-♪ Mama loves mambo ♪
-♪ Mama loves mambo ♪

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♪ Papa does great with it… ♪

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Hey. Good mornin', everybody.

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♪ He loses weight with it now ♪

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Joost, what's up?

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-Mike.
-So, to what do I owe the honor?

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-Um, I wanted to talk to you.
-Course.

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What's this? A new format?

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A NEW TIME, A NEW MAN

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It's from a seminar
I attended this past weekend.

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Very, very, very interesting.

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Yeah, right.
Is that what you told your wife?

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-It really got me thinking.
-Huh.

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Any good boss realizes
when it's the time… to step down.

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I'm honored, Joost.
Am I ready for this? Yeah.

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I want you
to meet someone.

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Nicole!

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-Mike. Mike, Nicole.
-It's really great to meet you, Mike.

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-Yeah, hi.
-Nicole is our new Head of Content.

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Mm.

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I'm sorry, but if it's my team,
shouldn't I be putting it together?

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-No offense.
-I'm still the director here.

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I… I don't get it.

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It's time for new leadership,
a more… more feminine vision.

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Could you give us a second alone, Nicole?

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Just real quick.

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Am I fired?

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Mike, the board asked for this.

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They say we need a woman in management.

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Besides, after that fiasco
that was Fuck Island,

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we're on thin ice around here.

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So they can give her your position.
You're also responsible for Fuck Island.

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No, no. I always had my doubts about it.

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Joost…

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I just bought a new house, man.

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The mortgage on that is…

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I'll get you a fair severance deal.

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Trust me. We're friends.

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I'm not gonna leave you dry.

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Oh, um, uh… Mike, here.

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Take this.

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It's a real eye-opener.

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Yeah, I'll take it.

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Know what else I'm taking, Joost?

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My talent.

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And… I'll take

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the flip chart 'cause I paid for it.

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Yup, that's right. Good luck.

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See how fast this ship sinks without me.

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♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

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♪ Mama loves mambo ♪

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♪ Uh! ♪

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♪ Papa loves mambo ♪

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♪ Mambo, Papa ♪

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♪ Mama loves mambo ♪

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♪ Mambo, Mama ♪

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♪ Don't let her rumba
And don't let her samba ♪

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♪ Papa ♪

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♪ Loves the mambo tonight ♪

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♪ Uh! ♪

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Yeah, there's someone
in my house.

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-What do you mean, exactly? Like…?
-Uh…

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A burglar or maybe a homeless person.

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In the bathroom.

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I, um… um… to get rid of fingerprints?
I don't know. I'm--

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Hey, Pop.

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Tess!

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-What are you doin' here?
-Wow, Dad. You could be a little excited.

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You know, some dads
go to court to see their kids.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that.
But what does Mom think of this?

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That doesn't matter. She's killing me.

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Look, Tess. You're 16. That's, uh, normal.

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I'm moving in with you. You're chill.

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-Is that my shirt?
-Yeah, I borrowed it.

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Why leave the shower running?
It's such a waste of water.

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Uh… uh…

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Look at this!

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Yeah, but it takes forever
to get it warm, so…

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Yeah.

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-Hello? Ief, open the door!
-Oh fuck.

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-Fuck! Find my iPhone is still turned on.
-Ief!

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Ief, open up!

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Hey, Dé.
Uh, no worries, okay? Tess is here.

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Why didn't you call me?

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For all I knew,
she was lying in a ditch somewhere!

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That girl has gone completely insane!

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Look, she's fine. Just calm down.

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-Mom, leave me alone! I live here now!
-What?

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What are you trying to do, kill me?

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Sorry! Sorry. So, the housekeeper,
she moved the flowers there.

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-When did you get a housekeeper?
-Uh… about a month ago.

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Ief, you are pitiful!

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Okay, look, just send her down.
I'm taking her home!

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Dé, calm down.

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Can't we talk about this
like civilized adults?

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Whoa!

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-That woman's nuts.
-Yeah, duh!

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Mom, I'm 16!
I'm old enough to choose where I live!

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I'll call you.

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-Not.
-No, Tess!

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Ief, let me up!

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Ief!

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Open this door!

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Seventeen minutes and 20 seconds.

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Bathed and in bed.

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New record. Thank you, good night.

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Dad?

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Dad!

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Hey, time for bed!

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Poppa. Poppa.

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Poppa.

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Uh…

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What's this? Aren't you cold?

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-No, I'm really hot.
-Uh…

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It's not expensive.
Don't be afraid to trash it.

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Yeah, but I'm pretty wiped.
I had street detail all day.

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-Oh, poor you. Did you have a hard day?
-Mm-hmm.

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Just lay back and relax.

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Okay.

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What do you think of this?

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Hmm?

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Greg?

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Greg?

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Oh yeah. So good. It's… Huh?

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Seriously?

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But… Hey…

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This… this is normal.

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I… I'm on my feet all day.

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-With a heel spur…
-No, this isn't normal, Greg. We're 40.

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How long has it been
since we last had sex?

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-Three weeks? I don't know.
-Five.

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-Five weeks? There's no way.
-Five months, Greg.

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-Five months!
-Shush. The kids.

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-God.
-Five?

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Our sex life is over.
Yeah, completely over.

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Hey, you're putting pressure on it.
Let it be spontaneous.

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-No. You don't find me sexy.
-That is not true.

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Okay, then why not prove it?
I'm always the one to take the initiative.

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I mean, if you really want
to be spontaneous, then show it.

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Act on it.

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Uh… uh…

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-What are you doing?
-I'm putting my pajamas on.

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Because this itches.

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I'll just buy something else.

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What are you doin'?

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I said I was going to yoga.

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So I can't come home without sore muscles.

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-Hey, Tien.
-Hmm?

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Check this out.

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Daan, I'm married already,
you know?

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It's not for you. It's for Pam.

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Ugh.

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I'm gonna propose.

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I didn't think that I ever would, but…

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I'm actually excited when I think about
spending the rest of my life with her.

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'Bout time.
You're not a young man anymore.

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It's a good thing married people
live longer.

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Bullshit.

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It just feels longer.

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And if you're so happy with Pam,
what are you doing with me, then?

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This is completely different.
It's just physical.

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Plus, you start over when you get married.
Clean slate.

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-Yeah, right.
-Yeah.

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But you're right.

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It's time we stopped.

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Mm. It's for the best.

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I hope you're okay with it.

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Well, by now, I'm able to predict
when you're going to cum,

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so there's not really
anything left of this affair.

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Ugh.

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-Hey.
-Hi.

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Hey, uh, when are you goin' home?

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I'm not. I live here.

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Honey, you're gonna miss your mom.
Just trust me, okay?

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You're the only one who misses her.
And why is that?

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-What Mom and I had was very special.
-Sure, Dad.

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Your love was a special sauce.

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Good but unhealthy. Move on.

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Isn't that what I'm doing?

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You're stalling.

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It's time for you to get out there
and try something new. Tinder.

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Ta-da.

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No.

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Yeah, okay, the picture's kinda lame,
but you already have ten matches.

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And if you're not too picky,
they're pretty hot.

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-Tess, that's not nice.
-What? Why not?

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-Well, it's sexist.
-So only men are allowed to say it?

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I am perfectly happy being single.

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Not every man is out here
looking for meaningless sex.

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Mm, well, your browser history
is telling a different story.

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-"MILFs with big tits."
-Tess.

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Come on, Dad.

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"On average, men need
to have ten new partners

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in order to forget an old lover."

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-Oh, where'd you get that from? Cosmo?
-No, Tinder researchers.

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Ah, that's super reliable.

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Dad, your hair is a mess,
you dress like a pig,

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and your breath stinks.

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You need a woman.

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-And… and this isn't sexist?
-No, it's the truth.

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Ah, yes!

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Hey, ladies.
How about a lesson from the real deal?

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Well, I don't have my calendar
with me, but I'll look.

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Jeez.

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Late.

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How do you know
I don't have anything else going on?

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-Ief. Ief.
-An appointment.

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-What's more important?
-With clients.

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-Let's go.
-Okay. Look, I have to go.

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-I'm starting an appraisal.
-Desirée.

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-An appraisal. Yeah
-Okay, bye.

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-Don't you dare--
-Oh! Desirée.

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Oh!

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Yeah, keep laughing.
She's driving me crazy.

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-Stay a bachelor. It's easier.
-Yeah, or wait for the right woman.

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-Huh?
-Says the man who sleeps with every woman.

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Yeah!

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Tess decides to live with me.
Desirée's pissed.

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As if I was the one who came up
with the idea.

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-Now she wants to revise visitations.
-Well, better get used to it, Ivo.

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Women are takin' over the world.

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If you have a dick, you are a dick.

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-Like you can complain, Mike.
-Everyone has his problems.

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Yeah, sure.

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Like it taking too long
for your new pool to heat up, right?

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Give the man a break.

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It's hard work coming up
with a show like Fuck Island.

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What the…? Mike, what…?

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-What are you doin'?
-What the fuck?

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VAN GAAL & SMIT
FURNITURE

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#SunnyDay.

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#TheGoodLife.

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-Hey!
-Hey, honey!

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I am so excited.

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-Yeah?
-I have so many plans for the yard.

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Statues, and maybe lamps.

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How come you're home so early?

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It's because of my conversation
with Joost.

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-You got the promotion?
-I walked out on him.

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When he said I couldn't choose
my own team, I resigned.

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-But, uh…
-The responsibility, none of the power?

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-Mm-mm. I'll pass, thank you.
-But we just bought a new house.

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We'll be fine.

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It won't take long to find something new.

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These companies need men
with my qualifications.

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What about the mortgage?
Should I work again?

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I loved living without jet lag.

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Don't worry, okay? It's fine.
I promise… it's under control.

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I needed this time
for myself, you know?

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It's, uh… yeah. A reset.

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In fact, I think we should celebrate.

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Yeah. Oh! Champagne sounds good.
Hey? #TheGoodLife.

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"As long as the child is too young
to decide where to live,

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custody will go to the mother."

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Voilà.

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"Once the child turns 16,
they have the right to weigh in on

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which parent they want to live with."

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Ha! Bam.

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"Weigh in." Hmm? Not decide.

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Desirée, we can change
the custody agreement.

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Of course, just know,
it opens a whole can of worms.

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And everything is back on the table.
Alimony. Even who gets to keep the house.

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Oh! You're throwing me
out of my own house now?

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I didn't say anything.

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For 15 years, I paid for everything

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so you could get all
your useless architecture certifications.

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This is how you pay me back?

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And you.
You just agree with everything he says!

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Yeah, sorry.
I thought that you'd be on my side.

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I only care what Tess wants.

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Tess, what do you want?

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My dad.

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You don't have to decide right now.
You can think about it.

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Hmm. My dad.

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You have completely brainwashed
our daughter.

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-Then you drag me to this sleazy lawyer.
-You made the appointment.

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Ivo can't take care of her.
He can't even take care of himself.

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-Yeah.
-What does he know about women?

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He doesn't even know about menstruation.

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-And what about mood swings? Or tantrums.
-Well, after 18 years with you…

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Okay, look, Desirée. It is what it is.

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-Either we change the custody agreement…
-This is your fault.

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-Or we respect Tess's wishes.
-You're so smart.

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But you just wait
till she starts manipulating you.

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Hmm? You brat.

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Oh, Pam, do yourself a favor.

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Don't have kids.

15:02.439 --> 15:06.920
Seventeen minutes and 29 seconds.
From bath to bed. Thank you,

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-Good night.
-Hmm.

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Wait. What?

15:13.520 --> 15:15.479
Huh? What… What's this?

15:15.560 --> 15:17.560
A spontaneous gesture.

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What? Aw, how sweet.

15:21.120 --> 15:22.199
What is it?

15:26.839 --> 15:28.880
Ah. Ooh.

15:28.959 --> 15:31.800
-Okay. Do people actually like this?
-Yeah.

15:31.880 --> 15:34.040
-Ah. Wait, I want… Wait, no.
-Okay. Hey.

15:34.120 --> 15:36.240
-No way that's gonna fit.
-Yeah, but you need to relax.

15:36.319 --> 15:37.479
-I'm trying.
-Just relax.

15:37.560 --> 15:39.360
-Take a deep breath. Okay.
-Okay. Come on.

15:39.439 --> 15:40.520
-Sit back a little.
-Back?

15:40.599 --> 15:41.760
Yeah, here. Yeah.

15:41.839 --> 15:42.880
Oh!

15:42.959 --> 15:45.199
Hey. Told you it would fit.

15:45.280 --> 15:46.880
-Okay, okay.
-Let's see…

15:48.800 --> 15:50.120
-And? Like it?
-Ah.

15:50.199 --> 15:52.479
Oh. Uh… Ah!

15:52.560 --> 15:54.000
It's a bit…

15:54.079 --> 15:55.520
Maybe it's good?

15:57.839 --> 15:59.920
Oh no. No, it's too strong. Turn it off.

16:00.000 --> 16:01.400
-Turn this thing off.
-I'm trying.

16:01.479 --> 16:02.760
Turn it off.

16:02.839 --> 16:04.880
-It's just one button.
-Greg, get it out!

16:04.959 --> 16:06.680
Sorry. You have to relax.
You're too tense.

16:06.760 --> 16:08.000
Yeah, I'm rela… I'm relaxing.

16:08.079 --> 16:09.359
Mom?

16:11.040 --> 16:12.959
What do you want?

16:14.520 --> 16:16.400
What's wrong? Nightmares?

16:16.479 --> 16:17.560
I can't sleep.

16:19.479 --> 16:21.199
Why don't you try again, okay?

16:21.280 --> 16:22.240
We've been trying.

16:22.319 --> 16:24.719
Ah, guys, come on.
You do this every night. Now, chop-chop.

16:24.800 --> 16:26.439
-To bed.
-Yeah. Go.

16:26.520 --> 16:28.800
No, not you. Mom has to put us to bed now.

16:31.839 --> 16:33.040
Uh…

16:33.120 --> 16:35.640
Yes. Come on.

16:39.560 --> 16:41.880
-I don't know…
-Do something.

16:44.000 --> 16:46.359
-Someone's calling, Mom.
-Yeah. I'll answer it in a minute.

16:51.760 --> 16:53.280
Huh?

16:53.359 --> 16:54.280
In the soup?

16:54.359 --> 16:57.199
-No, in the lava cake. It's her favorite.
-That go there?

16:57.280 --> 16:58.680
-Uh, no, chef.
-Then?

16:58.760 --> 17:00.839
The lava cake. Yeah?

17:00.920 --> 17:02.959
It's in a box.
Can't you give it to her like that?

17:03.040 --> 17:05.240
Who's proposing here, you or me?

17:05.319 --> 17:07.440
You are,
but maybe wait for the eye to heal.

17:07.520 --> 17:10.680
Just do it.
Maybe I should bake it?

17:10.760 --> 17:12.079
-Okay. Fine.
-Yeah?

17:12.159 --> 17:13.480
-Out of my kitchen. Go.
-Amazing.

17:13.560 --> 17:14.800
-Yeah, get out!
-You're the best!

17:19.359 --> 17:22.040
There you go, sir. Here you go. Enjoy.

17:22.119 --> 17:25.200
-Hey, you're finally here. You look great.
-Hey.

17:25.280 --> 17:27.200
Yeah, sorry,
there was no end to the meetings.

17:27.280 --> 17:28.240
Mm.

17:29.880 --> 17:34.080
-How long is it now? Eighteen months?
-Yeah. And that's a new record for me.

17:34.159 --> 17:35.760
I know.

17:35.840 --> 17:37.960
When I met you,
I thought, "What a lady-killer."

17:38.040 --> 17:40.080
For me, it was love at first sight.

17:43.399 --> 17:45.480
-My sweet Pam.
-Hmm?

17:47.240 --> 17:49.880
I must be the luckiest man.

17:50.520 --> 17:54.720
Because you are absolutely the smartest
and the sexiest woman alive.

17:54.800 --> 17:56.200
Well…

17:56.280 --> 17:58.800
-A lava cake for the beautiful lady.
-Thank you.

17:58.880 --> 18:02.240
Oh, actually, um…
may I get some ice cream instead?

18:02.320 --> 18:05.440
What? Oh,
but lava cake is your favorite.

18:05.520 --> 18:07.880
Yeah, and sometimes
it's nice to have variety.

18:07.960 --> 18:10.440
And besides,
ice is good for your eye.

18:11.480 --> 18:13.720
But we're out of ice cream.
Thank you, Sophie.

18:13.800 --> 18:15.600
Yeah?

18:21.320 --> 18:22.840
-Daan.
-Mm.

18:22.919 --> 18:23.960
I have to know.

18:24.880 --> 18:27.600
Are you getting bored,
or do I still excite you?

18:27.679 --> 18:31.679
I… I don't know what you're talking about.
How could I get bored of you? Mm.

18:31.760 --> 18:34.000
-We love each other, don't we?
-Absolutely.

18:34.080 --> 18:35.320
-Yeah.
-Have some cake.

18:35.399 --> 18:38.640
-It's gonna get cold.
-Daan, I have a crazy idea.

18:40.240 --> 18:43.520
-Oh, now I'm nervous.
-No way.

18:43.600 --> 18:46.880
-Wait.
-An open relationship. What do you think?

18:48.520 --> 18:50.040
Open relation…

18:51.480 --> 18:54.760
So, uh… you mean…
you mean sleeping with other men?

18:54.840 --> 18:57.080
Don't make it sound boorish.

18:59.520 --> 19:01.640
-Don't you long to have other women?
-No.

19:02.800 --> 19:04.080
No, why would I?

19:04.159 --> 19:07.240
Monogamy doesn't work, Daan.
I see it every day.

19:07.320 --> 19:10.480
These couples get bored,
and… and they resent each other.

19:10.560 --> 19:13.320
They start fighting and lying,
and I don't want that.

19:13.399 --> 19:15.960
-But aren't things good with us? Yeah.
-Exactly.

19:16.040 --> 19:18.280
What we have is so special,
I never want to lose that.

19:18.360 --> 19:19.919
So, you want to sleep with other men

19:20.000 --> 19:21.919
because you think
it's best for us?

19:22.000 --> 19:24.880
-You're a great lawyer.
-Commitment has never been your thing.

19:24.960 --> 19:27.000
-Well…
-Freedom suits you.

19:27.080 --> 19:28.240
-And… and I get that.
-Man…

19:28.320 --> 19:29.800
Because I'm the same way.

19:29.880 --> 19:34.440
I want the happiness of a relationship,
but I also want… adventure.

19:35.560 --> 19:37.200
And I think that's possible.

19:38.440 --> 19:41.520
I mean, unless you don't agree. Then…

19:42.320 --> 19:45.440
-Then?
-Then I don't know what our future is.

19:45.520 --> 19:48.320
Uh, I'm… wait… really?

19:48.399 --> 19:52.280
Daan, I… I've seen too much
to believe in fairy tales.

19:52.360 --> 19:54.440
I never want us
to start resenting each other.

19:55.880 --> 19:56.840
Right.

19:57.840 --> 19:59.000
Uh…

20:00.440 --> 20:02.919
-Uh, can I think about it?
-Yeah.

20:03.000 --> 20:05.200
-Okay.
-Take your time. Of course.

20:13.360 --> 20:14.760
It's cold.

20:24.480 --> 20:27.120
Body and mind connected.

20:27.200 --> 20:29.040
I'm so grateful

20:29.120 --> 20:31.200
for everything we have here.

20:31.800 --> 20:34.560
And I'm grateful for you, dear followers.

20:36.240 --> 20:37.240
What are you doing?

20:37.320 --> 20:40.640
Trying to make a sunrise story
for the Gram. Couldn't sleep.

20:40.720 --> 20:42.320
Oh. Seriously?

20:42.399 --> 20:45.760
Yeah! Suus can sometimes make
2,000 euros per photo.

20:45.840 --> 20:48.120
Yeah, but Suus has
half a million followers.

20:48.200 --> 20:49.240
-You have 500.
-I know.

20:49.320 --> 20:51.800
-Not a bad start.
-Start of what?

20:51.880 --> 20:54.320
Earning money. I need an income, don't I?

20:56.640 --> 20:57.720
Okay.

21:01.080 --> 21:02.679
-Can you take the picture?
-Oh! Yeah.

21:02.760 --> 21:04.040
-Hurry!
-Yeah, yeah.

21:04.120 --> 21:05.960
-Quick.
-Mmm. You have to hold it straight.

21:06.040 --> 21:07.240
So you get my feet.

21:07.320 --> 21:08.880
-Sure. Oh!
-Yeah.

21:08.960 --> 21:10.360
-Go.
-Yeah, I got it

21:13.000 --> 21:14.000
How'd it turn out?

21:14.960 --> 21:17.480
I, uh… I took a selfie of me.

21:18.000 --> 21:20.880
-Yeah. Couldn't get…
-Oh, you look awful honey.

21:20.960 --> 21:22.200
Well…

21:22.720 --> 21:25.679
-Hey, we're gonna make it through this.
-Mm.

21:25.760 --> 21:27.399
Of course. Mm.

21:28.480 --> 21:32.080
When I told the kids they could
bring in a toy from their house,

21:32.159 --> 21:34.040
it's not what I was expecting.

21:36.320 --> 21:37.919
It's just a rocket.

21:44.480 --> 21:46.760
Ready for takeoff.
Ready for takeoff.

21:46.840 --> 21:50.200
Oh, oh, Houston, we got a problem.
Oh, abort mission.

21:51.320 --> 21:52.720
How'd the kids get it?

21:52.800 --> 21:54.679
It was in the dishwasher.

21:54.760 --> 21:56.520
Jason must have found it in there.

21:56.600 --> 21:57.720
The dishwasher?

21:57.800 --> 21:59.840
-I mean--
-Listen, I totally understand.

21:59.919 --> 22:01.120
These things happen.

22:01.720 --> 22:05.120
But this is a safe space for the kids,
so in the future, I'd appreciate--

22:05.200 --> 22:07.320
I'm sorry, what do you "understand"?

22:07.399 --> 22:09.840
How old are you, 25, 26?

22:10.360 --> 22:11.800
Uh, 32.

22:13.560 --> 22:15.000
Are you even seeing anyone?

22:15.080 --> 22:16.159
No.

22:16.240 --> 22:17.240
Have any kids?

22:18.000 --> 22:20.679
-No.
-That's why she looks so young.

22:20.760 --> 22:23.439
Listen, missy, I bet you had
to study really hard

22:23.520 --> 22:25.240
to teach a bunch of second-graders,

22:25.320 --> 22:27.840
but that doesn't mean you know everything.

22:27.919 --> 22:30.480
You have no idea
what it's like in our house.

22:30.560 --> 22:33.080
Between vacuuming,
washing dishes, and reading stories,

22:33.159 --> 22:34.320
I can't find a minute

22:34.399 --> 22:36.000
for one pathetic quickie with my husband,

22:36.080 --> 22:38.280
who would rather be playing
with his apps than me.

22:38.360 --> 22:39.640
That's not true.

22:39.720 --> 22:41.640
Did it occur to you
that this stupid little rocket

22:41.720 --> 22:43.399
could be my last resort?

22:43.480 --> 22:44.880
That I'm doing what I have to do?

22:44.960 --> 22:47.560
And that maybe one day you might shove
toys like this in your ass?

22:47.640 --> 22:49.360
And trust me, it ain't pleasant.

23:04.960 --> 23:09.200
#Happiness, #SunnyDay,
#GoodLifeWithStevie.

23:09.280 --> 23:12.360
-Why are you on your tiptoes?
-Makes my legs longer.

23:13.679 --> 23:14.880
-Oh, yeah.
-Right?

23:14.960 --> 23:18.520
And in every picture,
do you have to wear those pants?

23:18.600 --> 23:21.560
Mike, you're starting
to sound just like my father.

23:22.760 --> 23:24.240
A lot of people like my style.

23:24.320 --> 23:27.439
You see all the likes?
Four hundred and fifty.

23:27.520 --> 23:30.320
Four hundred eighty-five. Four eighty-six.

23:33.800 --> 23:35.360
-Okay.
-Looks good.

23:36.040 --> 23:39.520
Oh, uh, honey.
Um, let's not mention my work.

23:39.600 --> 23:41.520
Boys have such honest friendships.

23:44.600 --> 23:46.600
-Hey.
-Hey.

23:46.679 --> 23:47.679
-Hi.
-Hi.

23:47.760 --> 23:48.679
Well, come in.

23:48.760 --> 23:50.120
-So big.
-Yeah, it's really big.

23:50.200 --> 23:51.240
-Hi.
-Hello!

23:51.320 --> 23:53.280
-Welcome, welcome.
-This place is beautiful.

23:53.360 --> 23:56.439
Thank you for having us over.
Dinner is delicious.

23:56.520 --> 23:58.360
-It's all organic.
-Yeah.

23:58.439 --> 23:59.640
-Perfect.
-Mm-hmm.

23:59.720 --> 24:02.320
But… is there any meat?

24:02.399 --> 24:03.880
Oh my God.

24:03.960 --> 24:06.520
-Oh, sorry. It's Tess.
-How's she settling into the house?

24:06.600 --> 24:10.520
Everything's fine. It's about, um…
She… She put me on Tinder.

24:10.600 --> 24:12.320
-Really?
-Oh!

24:12.399 --> 24:14.679
Be happy. Greg would put me on eBay.

24:14.760 --> 24:16.640
-For the highest bidder?
-That's not true.

24:16.720 --> 24:20.800
Guys, guys, guys, guys, wait a second.
Ief is dating again. That's unbelievable.

24:20.880 --> 24:22.320
-It's--
-Let me take a look.

24:22.399 --> 24:23.439
-No.
-Yeah.

24:23.520 --> 24:25.000
-Come on.
-Don't, Danny.

24:25.080 --> 24:26.679
Boys, I swear.

24:26.760 --> 24:27.960
Whoa.

24:28.040 --> 24:29.520
-Okay, nice.
-Jeez.

24:29.600 --> 24:30.439
Knock it off.

24:30.520 --> 24:32.080
I wouldn't kick her out of bed.

24:32.159 --> 24:33.760
That's not something a grown man says.

24:33.840 --> 24:35.679
I wouldn't call these "grown men."
Would you?

24:35.760 --> 24:38.080
-Seriously, look at her.
-That's enough.

24:38.159 --> 24:39.520
-Hmm?
-That's enough okay?

24:39.600 --> 24:41.080
Are you crazy? I don't know her.

24:41.159 --> 24:43.399
Come on, Ief.
What's the harm in asking?

24:43.480 --> 24:46.120
It could be fun. Hey.
And she'll see you have great friends.

24:46.200 --> 24:48.200
-Hey!
-Ivo's on Tinder!

24:48.280 --> 24:50.360
-It's so fun.
-Like you being on Insta.

24:50.439 --> 24:52.200
-Excuse me?
-You didn't know?

24:52.280 --> 24:54.200
See, Stevie's now an influencer.

24:54.280 --> 24:56.120
-Oh.
-A content creator.

24:56.200 --> 24:57.120
Fun.

24:57.200 --> 24:59.520
I'm lucky
to enjoy this lifestyle.

24:59.600 --> 25:01.320
My followers enjoy watching me.

25:01.399 --> 25:02.679
-You want to see?
-Yeah.

25:02.760 --> 25:04.560
-@GoodLifeMetStevie, guys.
-Mm.

25:04.640 --> 25:06.439
Didn't need that masters in communication.

25:06.520 --> 25:08.679
Would you rather discuss your promotion?

25:08.760 --> 25:10.560
-What?
-You were promoted, Mike?

25:10.640 --> 25:12.040
-Oh.
-Congrats.

25:12.120 --> 25:13.000
Congrats.

25:13.080 --> 25:15.880
-Carmen's on her way. Hey!
-That's great.

25:15.960 --> 25:18.159
-Oh!
-Just relax, Ief.

25:18.240 --> 25:20.159
-It's great. Eager and nearby.
-What did you do?

25:20.240 --> 25:22.120
-On her way?
-I sent a message.

25:22.199 --> 25:24.000
-You're welcome
-Guys, guys, a toast.

25:24.080 --> 25:27.240
-Yes.
-Um, to the promotion for Mike.

25:27.320 --> 25:28.960
-Really?
-Yeah.

25:29.040 --> 25:32.360
And to Ivo.
After ten years, he's gettin' laid!

25:32.439 --> 25:33.880
-Hooray!
-All right.

25:33.960 --> 25:35.240
-Hey.
-Cheers.

25:35.320 --> 25:38.560
Congrats.

25:38.640 --> 25:41.919
-I need to use the restroom.
-"Would love to. On my way."

25:42.000 --> 25:43.280
Here, share the address.

25:43.360 --> 25:44.760
Danny, what the hell, man?

25:45.840 --> 25:46.800
-You okay?
-Yup.

25:47.640 --> 25:50.000
Hey, Ief. This is so exciting.

25:50.080 --> 25:52.080
Oh man.

25:52.159 --> 25:55.280
The flirting.
Every fiber of your body on fire.

25:55.360 --> 25:58.000
Anticipating that first touch, kiss.

25:58.080 --> 25:59.439
That's all great.

25:59.520 --> 26:03.399
But I think it's even better
in a stable relationship.

26:03.480 --> 26:05.360
Right.

26:06.760 --> 26:10.520
Ivo, don't limit yourself
to the traditional model of monogamy.

26:10.600 --> 26:13.399
Hey, and there it is. The word.

26:13.480 --> 26:15.240
-What word?
-Monogamy.

26:15.320 --> 26:17.120
-No, "traditional."
-Oh?

26:17.199 --> 26:19.880
Nowadays everything is traditional.
Most of all, men.

26:19.960 --> 26:21.600
You're so sensitive.

26:21.679 --> 26:24.679
You just have to get used to the fact
that you're not in charge everywhere.

26:24.760 --> 26:26.199
-Mm-hmm.
-Whoa!

26:26.280 --> 26:27.520
-Hear that?
-She's right

26:27.600 --> 26:31.080
Oh, our time has passed.
Tell me, do I detect some jealousy?

26:31.159 --> 26:34.600
You have to admit,
there are some things men are better at.

26:34.679 --> 26:36.000
Um, like what?

26:37.159 --> 26:38.159
Merel?

26:40.480 --> 26:42.480
Greg! Greg!

26:43.399 --> 26:44.480
Greg, look at this.

26:44.560 --> 26:47.000
-What are you doing there?
-Come and look. Come here.

26:47.080 --> 26:48.240
Wait.

26:49.480 --> 26:51.120
Greg, come here. Come on.

26:51.199 --> 26:52.120
-What is it?
-Look!

26:52.199 --> 26:53.600
-Hey. Look.
-Come back downstairs.

26:53.679 --> 26:54.960
-No, no.
-Look at this closet.

26:55.040 --> 26:56.520
It's bigger than our living room.

26:56.600 --> 26:57.880
-Holy shit.
-Take me.

26:57.960 --> 26:58.840
-What?
-Please.

26:58.919 --> 27:00.120
-Take me right here.
-Do what?

27:00.199 --> 27:01.720
-Shh.
-I need you, please. I can't wait.

27:01.800 --> 27:03.640
-Shit. No.
-No. Honey, you don't have to cum.

27:03.720 --> 27:06.640
What? No, baby, get off me. Come on.

27:06.720 --> 27:08.760
-Don't be a downer.
-We have to go. Stop it.

27:08.840 --> 27:10.320
-Greg, it's a quickie!
-Panties on.

27:10.399 --> 27:11.600
-Are you crazy?
-We can do it.

27:11.679 --> 27:13.000
Look, look, look, look.

27:13.080 --> 27:16.000
Have you lost your mind?
Okay! You gotta get off.

27:16.080 --> 27:19.520
Come on. That's what I'm tryin' to do.
Why not pretend I'm Stevie, then?

27:19.600 --> 27:21.679
-What? No, no, no. Stop.
-#HappyLife.

27:21.760 --> 27:23.399
-Come on. Merel, knock it off.
-Oh, Greg…

27:23.480 --> 27:24.760
-You've been drinking.
-What?

27:24.840 --> 27:26.840
Put your panties back on, and let's go.

27:26.919 --> 27:28.199
Or I'm keeping them.

27:29.280 --> 27:32.320
You're so lame. Okay, come on!

27:32.919 --> 27:34.560
Greg, come on!

27:35.360 --> 27:36.679
You suck!

27:37.199 --> 27:40.199
Why do pro women soccer players
make less than men?

27:40.280 --> 27:42.480
-Oh, that's just the market.
-The market's out of date.

27:42.560 --> 27:44.600
Women's soccer is entertaining.
When it rains,

27:44.679 --> 27:46.720
and it's muddy,
and they're running like…

27:46.800 --> 27:49.520
-You're disgusting.
-That's true, though. He likes it.

27:49.600 --> 27:52.960
-That's called arousal, not equality.
-Oh yeah, arousal.

27:53.040 --> 27:54.960
That's an outdated concept now too,
isn't it?

27:55.040 --> 27:57.280
It's not allowed anymore.
Now it's about listening.

27:57.360 --> 27:59.480
God forbid you talk
about a woman as a sex object.

27:59.560 --> 28:00.919
Now they do it themselves on Insta.

28:01.000 --> 28:03.439
We do embrace
our femininity ourselves nowadays.

28:03.520 --> 28:04.840
You're right.

28:04.919 --> 28:06.840
We don't need men for that anymore.

28:06.919 --> 28:08.800
Times have changed, Mike.

28:08.880 --> 28:12.480
If you don't like it, well,
then that's really your own problem. Huh?

28:12.560 --> 28:14.800
Well…

28:21.080 --> 28:22.919
-Is he upset?
-No.

28:28.360 --> 28:30.080
It was just a conversation.

28:33.919 --> 28:35.399
Mike, what's up?

28:38.360 --> 28:39.280
I got fired.

28:40.120 --> 28:41.439
-What?
-Yeah.

28:42.760 --> 28:47.320
I told Stevie I was the one who left,
but I was replaced.

28:47.399 --> 28:48.439
By a woman.

28:49.560 --> 28:51.360
Poor thing.

28:52.560 --> 28:56.520
-Yeah. Apparently, I'm easily replaced.
-Oh…

28:56.600 --> 28:58.840
No, but now
she's gonna be here any minute.

28:58.919 --> 29:01.320
-Yes. Yeah.
-You can't take my phone and do that.

29:01.399 --> 29:02.760
I mean it.

29:02.840 --> 29:04.639
What's goin' on here? Hmm?

29:04.720 --> 29:08.040
-Uh…
-Um, nothing. Nothing. We're cleaning up.

29:08.120 --> 29:09.399
-How about dessert?
-Dessert.

29:09.480 --> 29:11.159
Seriously, Pam?

29:11.240 --> 29:13.919
-Hey, wait. C'mon.
-Seriously, with my best friend? Wha--

29:14.000 --> 29:16.520
-Honey…
-He's your best friend?

29:16.600 --> 29:19.080
-Now?
-I could never hook up with Mike.

29:19.159 --> 29:20.199
-Hmm?
-Fuck!

29:20.280 --> 29:21.639
Honey, come on.

29:21.720 --> 29:24.439
I just gave him a hug
because he got fired.

29:24.520 --> 29:26.040
-What?
-Hey, um…

29:26.120 --> 29:29.120
-You what?
-Okay! My husband is impotent!

29:29.199 --> 29:31.840
Oh, shit. Uh, uh, uh, I'll get it.

29:31.919 --> 29:32.959
Uh…

29:33.639 --> 29:34.800
You were fired?

29:37.320 --> 29:39.000
-Hey.
-Ivo?

29:39.080 --> 29:41.000
-Stevie!
-Uh, Carmen?

29:41.080 --> 29:43.600
It's a nice house.

29:43.679 --> 29:46.120
Yeah, it isn't mine. It's my friend's.

29:46.199 --> 29:48.919
But, uh, I appraised it.

29:49.000 --> 29:50.720
Okay.

29:50.800 --> 29:52.959
That's what you meant
by an "open relationship"?

29:53.040 --> 29:55.560
You wanted to have an affair with Mike?
What the fuck?!

29:55.639 --> 29:56.679
Danny, can we talk?

29:56.760 --> 29:59.720
…tell me you were fired?
What kind of relationship do we have?

29:59.800 --> 30:01.520
Do you want to come in?

30:01.600 --> 30:04.120
-Oh…
-I just want to fuck!

30:04.199 --> 30:05.639
Maybe you should have an espresso.

30:05.720 --> 30:07.760
I don't want coffee!
I want you to fuck me!

30:07.840 --> 30:09.240
Um…

30:09.320 --> 30:11.159
Some other time, maybe?

30:11.240 --> 30:12.959
Yeah, that would be best.

30:13.040 --> 30:15.480
Uh, sorry. See ya.

30:15.560 --> 30:16.560
Bye.

30:20.520 --> 30:23.560
Shh.

30:23.639 --> 30:25.399
There you go. You're okay.

30:30.720 --> 30:31.600
Hey.

30:37.240 --> 30:38.600
Didn't you quit smoking?

30:39.919 --> 30:41.959
Yep, but not tonight.

30:42.560 --> 30:44.800
-Hmm.
-Hey, Danny.

30:44.879 --> 30:47.120
-I'd never hook up with Pam, you know.
-Yeah, right.

30:47.199 --> 30:49.080
-We talking about the same Pam?
-Excuse me?

30:49.159 --> 30:51.320
-Hey, you know it's true.
-Fuck you.

30:58.199 --> 30:59.399
Come here.

30:59.959 --> 31:01.320
Aww.

31:06.320 --> 31:08.399
Why won't you sleep with your wife?

31:09.040 --> 31:12.280
I'm… just tired.

31:12.840 --> 31:13.800
That's all.

31:15.120 --> 31:16.159
Tired?

31:16.240 --> 31:20.240
Yeah, with the kids, work.
I'm just tired when I get home.

31:21.199 --> 31:22.199
Mm.

31:22.280 --> 31:25.000
Hey, if anyone wants to go for a swim,
it could be your last chance.

31:25.080 --> 31:27.800
'Cause I might not be able
to afford it next month.

31:31.000 --> 31:32.199
Mm, wow.

31:32.280 --> 31:34.520
Well, I think it's a great idea, boys.

31:34.600 --> 31:36.919
-We only live once. Let's go.
-Yeah?

31:37.000 --> 31:38.639
-Come on, come on!
-Seriously?

31:38.720 --> 31:40.120
-Let's go.
-Eh, oh! Look out.

31:40.199 --> 31:42.120
-Hey!
-Whoa!

31:44.240 --> 31:46.879
Ah, fuck. Fuck, it's… it's cold.

31:46.959 --> 31:49.280
All right, guys,
who wants another margarita?

31:49.360 --> 31:50.879
I thought you said this was heated!

31:50.959 --> 31:54.159
What do you think that costs?
I just got fired, man.

31:54.760 --> 31:57.240
Fuck.

31:58.199 --> 32:02.280
ROOSTERS
ou think that costs?
I just got fired, man.
