WEBVTT 00:06.005 --> 00:08.007 [upbeat acoustic music playing] 00:15.223 --> 00:17.225 [singing in Spanish] 00:43.043 --> 00:48.631 CARIZZMA 00:48.715 --> 00:51.342 -I never imagined you'd be here, dude. -[both laugh] 00:51.426 --> 00:52.886 -He's hilarious. -[clears throat] 00:53.595 --> 00:54.596 Let's do frozen. 00:54.679 --> 00:56.181 Yes, Caro, uh, we got it. 00:56.264 --> 00:59.726 The drinks will be frozen. I was asking who to book for the start of the party. 00:59.809 --> 01:01.895 I don't care. Whatever's more expensive. 01:01.978 --> 01:03.313 [Ana] Uh, okay. Robots on stilts… 01:03.396 --> 01:05.065 [all yell] 01:05.148 --> 01:08.193 -Damn it! You're such an asshole! -What a surprise! Leo! 01:08.276 --> 01:09.444 [Leo laughing] 01:10.195 --> 01:13.323 -The Guillotina. -What's that? 01:13.406 --> 01:15.617 I had a friend who planned a birthday for the Kardashians. 01:15.700 --> 01:16.659 [woman squeals] 01:16.743 --> 01:18.203 [Ana] Which friend? 01:18.787 --> 01:20.080 Give us a name, please. 01:20.163 --> 01:22.457 Ana, just give him a second. Don't be so negative. 01:22.540 --> 01:25.126 -I'm just asking. -Wow! Literal Kardashians! 01:25.210 --> 01:26.628 [Lila] They invented everything! 01:26.711 --> 01:29.798 The art of contouring, being obsessed with your own looks. 01:29.881 --> 01:31.257 -Yes! -[Leo] And the next big trend? 01:31.341 --> 01:33.134 Birthday parties at The Guillotina. 01:33.218 --> 01:35.845 A personal roast. It's dramatic and dynamic. Hmm? 01:35.929 --> 01:37.555 Roast? Like meat? 01:37.639 --> 01:40.433 'Cause I thought you didn't wanna serve that at my event, Mr. Fru-vegan. 01:40.517 --> 01:43.853 No, Caro. A roast is a comedy thing, like stand-up but with bullying. 01:43.937 --> 01:45.855 It's violent and very American. 01:45.939 --> 01:48.566 Don't listen to her. And besides, I never said "roast." 01:48.650 --> 01:51.736 The Guillotina involves several comedians at the top of their game, 01:51.820 --> 01:54.697 making witty comments about our one and only birthday girl. 01:54.781 --> 01:57.075 OMG! Yes! Yes, let's do it! I wanna be there. 01:57.951 --> 02:01.830 All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Guillotina! 02:01.913 --> 02:04.207 Get ready, 'cause tonight's show's gonna be extra special. 02:04.290 --> 02:06.376 The chosen target for our comedians 02:06.459 --> 02:10.505 is a super famous star and influencer, whatever that means, 02:10.588 --> 02:13.758 Caro Pardíaco! 02:13.842 --> 02:15.260 Get ready. It's about to be fire! 02:15.343 --> 02:16.344 A dumpster fire! 02:16.427 --> 02:17.846 [laughter] 02:17.929 --> 02:20.932 I can't imagine being together with somebody who hasn't been funny in, 02:21.015 --> 02:23.143 what, 15 years? You're so old. 02:23.226 --> 02:24.227 [audience] Ooh! 02:24.310 --> 02:28.398 It's such a shame, really, how much this clown used to make me laugh. 02:28.481 --> 02:31.442 I don't know if you would remember this, but fortyish years ago-- 02:31.526 --> 02:33.361 Well, I'm gonna be 30 in a couple of weeks, so… 02:33.444 --> 02:35.864 Could've fooled me. You look older with those features. 02:35.947 --> 02:36.906 [man] She's a nepo baby. 02:36.990 --> 02:39.784 She doesn't know what it means to stand in line and wait your turn. 02:39.868 --> 02:43.079 The only lines she knows about are the lines her mother snorts! 02:43.162 --> 02:44.622 [laughter] 02:45.456 --> 02:48.042 -Boo, bad joke. -This is so true! 02:48.126 --> 02:49.419 What are you laughing at, asshole? 02:50.670 --> 02:52.297 What do you do all day? 02:52.380 --> 02:55.842 Sit in your mansion and stare at the wall while touching your lady parts? 02:55.925 --> 02:57.802 -I own a couple of clubbing venues-- -I see. 02:57.886 --> 02:59.888 -[laughter] -Caro, come on. Let's go. 02:59.971 --> 03:02.765 Our jokes are paying off as well as your dad paid off those club owners. 03:02.849 --> 03:04.017 I don't understand. 03:04.100 --> 03:05.643 He got those for his baby girl. 03:05.727 --> 03:09.480 Instead of giving you love and support, he bought your love with material goods. 03:09.564 --> 03:12.066 -He loves me! -You buy that? Come on, girl! 03:12.150 --> 03:14.110 You gotta love these dumb blondes! 03:14.194 --> 03:15.820 [laughter] 03:24.037 --> 03:25.872 [spectator] Oh, come on! 03:25.955 --> 03:28.166 [cell phone ringing] 03:28.249 --> 03:31.794 -No, Mom, I can't talk right now. -[man 1] Ah, well. The show must move on! 03:31.878 --> 03:33.755 You hear about this one guy who went to Japan? 03:33.838 --> 03:37.634 He wanted to find a Jacuzzi, but instead, he found the yakuza. 03:37.717 --> 03:38.676 [laughter] 03:41.846 --> 03:44.724 Caro! Caro, are you all right? I called Sábado. He's on his way. 03:44.807 --> 03:46.476 I don't wanna see anyone. 03:46.559 --> 03:47.727 Just leave me alone. 03:47.810 --> 03:50.146 Caro, wait! That was absolutely not okay. 03:50.230 --> 03:52.273 But it's true, so please don't treat me like an idiot. 03:52.357 --> 03:53.566 You're not an idiot. 03:53.650 --> 03:56.903 Listen, I love you and I admire you, and I'm not the only one. I promise. 03:56.986 --> 03:59.322 But I can't do anything! The only thing I have to offer 03:59.405 --> 04:01.741 is the stupid inheritance of incredible, massive value, okay? 04:01.824 --> 04:03.910 That's why people gravitate towards me. 04:06.913 --> 04:09.540 "She's unstable." Right, that's what I wanted to… 04:09.624 --> 04:11.501 That's exactly what I'd like to discuss today. 04:11.584 --> 04:13.211 [woman] You three were assholes. 04:13.294 --> 04:17.548 She was already upset, but no, you just kept going and going, and… 04:18.549 --> 04:19.884 She was crying. 04:23.263 --> 04:25.098 It was incredible! 04:25.181 --> 04:27.100 [laughing] 04:28.643 --> 04:30.103 It's 200, right? 04:30.186 --> 04:33.398 I thought it'd be 200 for each of us. 04:33.481 --> 04:35.775 I'm sorry, but you'll have to share it. 04:35.858 --> 04:37.568 I already settled with my friend over here. 04:37.652 --> 04:38.569 I'm sorry. 04:39.070 --> 04:41.197 It was a mistake. I shouldn't have smoked this morning. 04:41.281 --> 04:45.159 Hey, dude, feel free to grab a beer or tequeños, whatever you want. 04:46.077 --> 04:47.912 -Why not? -Go ahead. 04:47.996 --> 04:49.998 -Tequeños. -That's right. 04:51.791 --> 04:53.876 Is your diet just beer and tequeños? 04:53.960 --> 04:55.586 Flour? Fat? Alcohol? 04:55.670 --> 04:57.505 How about committing to doing some burpees 04:57.588 --> 05:00.091 and making better financial choices, you beta loser. 05:01.676 --> 05:02.677 [spits] 05:09.017 --> 05:11.311 Caro. Caro! 05:12.770 --> 05:15.356 -Caro, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. -[sobbing] 05:15.440 --> 05:17.317 I feel so guilty. Please, Caro. 05:18.651 --> 05:20.486 Why did you laugh at what they were saying? 05:20.570 --> 05:21.654 No, no. I didn't, I promise. 05:21.738 --> 05:23.948 I'd never laugh at that. It was cruel. Are you okay? 05:24.032 --> 05:25.325 Come on, talk to me. 05:25.408 --> 05:27.493 I don't need to be comforted, okay, Leo? 05:27.577 --> 05:28.911 We're okay. We're not crying. 05:28.995 --> 05:32.165 I just… I never thought they'd take it that far. They hurt you. 05:32.248 --> 05:35.084 Everything they said was true. But you know what? 05:35.168 --> 05:38.504 It may have hurt me, but I think I needed to hear that. [sobs] 05:38.588 --> 05:41.174 Caro, may I take you for a ride? 05:42.008 --> 05:42.842 [sniffles] 05:46.346 --> 05:47.180 Okay. 05:47.263 --> 05:49.265 [upbeat pop music playing] 06:14.582 --> 06:15.416 [song ends] 06:15.500 --> 06:16.834 Thanks, Leo. 06:17.627 --> 06:20.463 I'm feeling much better. That moped ride was nice. 06:20.963 --> 06:22.048 And you know what? 06:22.548 --> 06:24.634 I ended up having a pretty good time. 06:25.927 --> 06:29.472 I think there are certain experiences that, over time, make us better people. 06:30.014 --> 06:31.849 They forge our future, 06:31.933 --> 06:33.851 help us to see who we are 06:33.935 --> 06:35.603 or the person we want to be. 06:36.854 --> 06:38.689 My parents almost named me something else, 06:38.773 --> 06:41.109 but as soon as they saw me, they chose Caro. 06:41.734 --> 06:43.194 You had some Caro charisma. 06:43.277 --> 06:45.029 Caro's got Caro charisma, huh? 06:45.530 --> 06:47.990 Caro-isma! Ah, so silly! 06:50.159 --> 06:51.160 Okay. 06:51.953 --> 06:56.374 I've been thinking over the past few days about my future, 06:56.457 --> 06:59.085 and I want my future to be a happy one, 06:59.168 --> 07:00.920 with great people by my side. 07:01.379 --> 07:04.882 And there's only one person I know who'd make me truly happy. 07:07.218 --> 07:11.848 CARO, WILL YOU MARRY ME? 07:11.931 --> 07:12.932 Yes! 07:14.183 --> 07:15.893 -Really? Yes? -Yes! 07:15.977 --> 07:18.938 [both chuckling] 07:19.021 --> 07:21.023 [uplifting acoustic music playing] who'd make me truly happy.