[upbeat acoustic music playing]
[singing in Spanish]
CARIZZMA
-I never imagined you'd be here, dude. -[both laugh]
-He's hilarious. -[clears throat]
Let's do frozen.
Yes, Caro, uh, we got it.
The drinks will be frozen. I was asking who to book for the start of the party.
I don't care. Whatever's more expensive.
[Ana] Uh, okay. Robots on stilts…
[all yell]
-Damn it! You're such an asshole! -What a surprise! Leo!
[Leo laughing]
-The Guillotina. -What's that?
I had a friend who planned a birthday for the Kardashians.
[woman squeals]
[Ana] Which friend?
Give us a name, please.
Ana, just give him a second. Don't be so negative.
-I'm just asking. -Wow! Literal Kardashians!
[Lila] They invented everything!
The art of contouring, being obsessed with your own looks.
-Yes! -[Leo] And the next big trend?
Birthday parties at The Guillotina.
A personal roast. It's dramatic and dynamic. Hmm?
Roast? Like meat?
'Cause I thought you didn't wanna serve that at my event, Mr. Fru-vegan.
No, Caro. A roast is a comedy thing, like stand-up but with bullying.
It's violent and very American.
Don't listen to her. And besides, I never said "roast."
The Guillotina involves several comedians at the top of their game,
making witty comments about our one and only birthday girl.
OMG! Yes! Yes, let's do it! I wanna be there.
All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Guillotina!
Get ready, 'cause tonight's show's gonna be extra special.
The chosen target for our comedians
is a super famous star and influencer, whatever that means,
Caro Pardíaco!
Get ready. It's about to be fire!
A dumpster fire!
[laughter]
I can't imagine being together with somebody who hasn't been funny in,
what, 15 years? You're so old.
[audience] Ooh!
It's such a shame, really, how much this clown used to make me laugh.
I don't know if you would remember this, but fortyish years ago--
Well, I'm gonna be 30 in a couple of weeks, so…
Could've fooled me. You look older with those features.
[man] She's a nepo baby.
She doesn't know what it means to stand in line and wait your turn.
The only lines she knows about are the lines her mother snorts!
[laughter]
-Boo, bad joke. -This is so true!
What are you laughing at, asshole?
What do you do all day?
Sit in your mansion and stare at the wall while touching your lady parts?
-I own a couple of clubbing venues-- -I see.
-[laughter] -Caro, come on. Let's go.
Our jokes are paying off as well as your dad paid off those club owners.
I don't understand.
He got those for his baby girl.
Instead of giving you love and support, he bought your love with material goods.
-He loves me! -You buy that? Come on, girl!
You gotta love these dumb blondes!
[laughter]
[spectator] Oh, come on!
[cell phone ringing]
-No, Mom, I can't talk right now. -[man 1] Ah, well. The show must move on!
You hear about this one guy who went to Japan?
He wanted to find a Jacuzzi, but instead, he found the yakuza.
[laughter]
Caro! Caro, are you all right? I called Sábado. He's on his way.
I don't wanna see anyone.
Just leave me alone.
Caro, wait! That was absolutely not okay.
But it's true, so please don't treat me like an idiot.
You're not an idiot.
Listen, I love you and I admire you, and I'm not the only one. I promise.
But I can't do anything! The only thing I have to offer
is the stupid inheritance of incredible, massive value, okay?
That's why people gravitate towards me.
"She's unstable." Right, that's what I wanted to…
That's exactly what I'd like to discuss today.
[woman] You three were assholes.
She was already upset, but no, you just kept going and going, and…
She was crying.
It was incredible!
[laughing]
It's 200, right?
I thought it'd be 200 for each of us.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to share it.
I already settled with my friend over here.
I'm sorry.
It was a mistake. I shouldn't have smoked this morning.
Hey, dude, feel free to grab a beer or tequeños, whatever you want.
-Why not? -Go ahead.
-Tequeños. -That's right.
Is your diet just beer and tequeños?
Flour? Fat? Alcohol?
How about committing to doing some burpees
and making better financial choices, you beta loser.
[spits]
Caro. Caro!
-Caro, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. -[sobbing]
I feel so guilty. Please, Caro.
Why did you laugh at what they were saying?
No, no. I didn't, I promise.
I'd never laugh at that. It was cruel. Are you okay?
Come on, talk to me.
I don't need to be comforted, okay, Leo?
We're okay. We're not crying.
I just… I never thought they'd take it that far. They hurt you.
Everything they said was true. But you know what?
It may have hurt me, but I think I needed to hear that. [sobs]
Caro, may I take you for a ride?
[sniffles]
Okay.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[song ends]
Thanks, Leo.
I'm feeling much better. That moped ride was nice.
And you know what?
I ended up having a pretty good time.
I think there are certain experiences that, over time, make us better people.
They forge our future,
help us to see who we are
or the person we want to be.
My parents almost named me something else,
but as soon as they saw me, they chose Caro.
You had some Caro charisma.
Caro's got Caro charisma, huh?
Caro-isma! Ah, so silly!
Okay.
I've been thinking over the past few days about my future,
and I want my future to be a happy one,
with great people by my side.
And there's only one person I know who'd make me truly happy.
CARO, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Yes!
-Really? Yes? -Yes!
[both chuckling]
[uplifting acoustic music playing] who'd make me truly happy.