-What do you mean, you don't know? -I don't… I don't know.
I went to bed. I woke up. Yusuf was gone, okay?
He left us the keys to the truck and directions to the barn.
That's it.
Are you paying attention?
You put this down, boom, pick one, then you do the cup.
Thank you.
Oh!
Who just disappears for no reason, huh?
Um… All I can think of, uh, is that, you know, he seemed upset.
Hm? What do you mean, upset? Upset with whom?
Me? We just proved a new fucking drug route.
I think he was just upset about, like, his girlfriend or something.
How do you know that?
-Andrei. -Hmm.
Find him.
Okay.
When the fuck did you get this information?
We talked the night before.
And?
Come on. Come on, spit it out, you stupid bitch.
Hey, relax.
Oh my God.
Yusuf fucking up this whole thing for a stupid girl? I mean…
See, he doesn't understand how easy it is for us to find him. Huh?
Might need you two to… to… to come to Miami
to finish the deal.
Uh… No.
What did you just say to me?
I just said no, okay?
We have done enough for you.
I have been a very good "friend" to you,
and all I've gotten in return is a fucking slap in the face
and this deep, gross feeling
like I have just betrayed everything I stand for.
Our father is the former chief of police.
Our mother is a very public person in this town at the moment, okay?
There are a lot of eyes on us right now.
We are not gonna go running our mouths. We're not that stupid,
despite what my sister might indicate a lot of the time.
So we're gonna be walking out of here, and you are gonna let that happen.
Don't you fucking dare.
-Hey. -Morgan, fuck!
-Yeah. -You want coffee or no?
Hey.
You sure about this?
Kill him!
Kill him yourself if it's easy!
Come on, give me the gun. Give me the gun then.
Fuck! Fuck!
Get in the car. Get in the car right now.
Why wouldn't you have told me about Yusuf?
I didn't think it was important.
Why, because you slept with him or something fucking messy?
Do you know that you complicate everything and everyone that you touch?
I have given us both a fresh start here, okay?
And I need you to take that and run with it.
And I would like to kindly ask that from here on out,
you stay away from me.
Happily.
-What are you doing? Oh my God! -I am staying away from you.
-As far as I can go, right now. -Okay. All right.
-Hope that works. -Yeah, it does.
This might be the most uncomfortable mattress I've ever slept on.
-I wanna be your date to the gala. -You are my date.
No, I mean your actual date.
Out and Loud is recognizing you for being great,
and I don't want you standing up there knowing that we're hiding this away.
-You sure? -Yeah, I am.
It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to the congregation.
It's time.
It's been time.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am excited to go on a cruise.
-I'm proud of you. -Mmm.
-Want coffee? -Yes, please.
Okay.
Who are you? What are you doing here?
Rose!
-Reverend Dardano, is that what… -Rose!
-Nicky, come out here, please. -How did you get into my house?
The only thing keeping you from the life you deserve
is you.
In order to change the frequency of your life…
…you must embrace positive affirmations.
I know this might sound corny,
but it works.
"I am a good, decent person."
"I deserve good, decent things."
"I am ready to make that change."
"I am ready to be that change."
"I am not my past. I am only my present."
…my present.
-Fuck! Max! -Godlike!
If you're gonna be spraying bullets at homeless women,
can you at least put your headphones on? I woke up at six to bake these, dude.
Our floors are clean, babe.
What are you lookin' at?!
I'm going on a run.
Like, to the grocery store?
No, like… like for exercise.
Why?
Uh, I'm trying something.
As many of you know, I was photographed last week
entertaining three women on an evening boat ride.
A personal choice my opponent Linda Morelli
seems to have taken issue with.
But let me reassure you all that my personal life
has never stood in the way of my leadership abilities.
"Family first," she says.
What about this town first?
And to that point, what if you don't have a family?
Then what, Linda?
Sure, I make bold choices and take big swings.
But it's that kind of attitude that gets you the big boats in the first place.
Mm-hmm.
So while Linda Morelli focuses on jungle gyms and kindergarten classes,
I'll be out here continuing to take big swings for the people of this town.
From my family to yours, I'll see you at the polls.
He was caught with three hookers on a boat. Suddenly, it's my problem.
They're called sex workers.
People are gonna see right through this. They're gonna see right through it.
Can you imagine the audacity?
Is this illegal? Honey, why are you wearing a suit?
The campaign barbecue invite said family-friendly.
I know, and that's what I wanted to talk to you about
before you forced me to watch that insane video.
-Um, I-- -Well, what?
I was wanting to wait until after the campaign to tell you this,
but it can't wait anymore, so I--
You're sick. It's cancer. Natalie, is it cancer?
I… I don't know.
It's not cancer, okay? I don't have cancer.
-I… I, um… -Oh no. Oh God.
I…
met someone.
Nicky!
-And I'm leaving the church. -Oh.
-Whoa. -And I'm… I'm telling you now
because Rose caught us this morning.
So it has sort of…
-What? -…expedited the process a little bit.
And I am… I am going to be his date today to a very important event,
so I'm gonna be late for the barbecue.
And I… I just wanted to tell you this
and… and let you know that everything is under control, okay?
-And… and I am good and I am happy, okay? -Mmm.
So, this is obviously something we're gonna need to get ahead of.
That was the support I was looking for, thank you so much.
-No, Nicky, don't do that. -Do what?
Expect the clouds to part because somebody caught you with your pants down.
Your sister and I are waist-deep in fending off political attacks.
So who is this boyfriend, this man that you met?
It's Tareq Rivera.
My Tareq?!
Well, I don't think-- Yeah, I don't think you can--
-Oh! -He comes into the store.
It doesn't mean you can claim him as yours.
-Oh, Nick, you have got to be kidding me. -Yeah.
Choosing this moment when I can't give this the amount of attention that I want.
How long have you been hiding this from me?
Finally, a man in the family who can work with his hands.
Kevin works with his hands.
-No, Kevin works with computers, Natalie. -Ah.
Okay, yeah. I just… I… I did not want to tell you until after the election
because I didn't want any of this to hurt your campaign in any way.
It might. I'm an ally, but it might.
Okay. And I also didn't want the entire town to know
before I was ready to share this.
-What are you implying? -Nothing.
Donna's son, Anthony, came home from Mykonos last summer
with a raging case of chlamydia from a "hot tub." It was a bathhouse.
She pays his credit card bills. That is a secret that I will take to my grave.
Mm-hmm.
So as for Tom Donaldson,
I think you just spend the barbecue laughing with kids, talking to families.
You are the people's pick.
-Yes. -Yeah?
So let's just focus on showing that to the people.
Okay, hun, I hope you're right. Honey, bring Tareq by the store.
-I want to give him the family discount. -Okay.
Hmm, uh…
She makes a good point.
She makes a great point.
We tip a waitress. Why are we not tipping stewardesses?
-Mmm. -It's fucking rude.
I think they're union.
I dated a flight attendant back in college.
Afternoon, gentlemen. I just wanted to drop this off ahead of schedule.
You can always depend on Ivan to bring in just what he owes us.
Never over-delivers.
Tell me, how does it feel to be so good at just doing the bare minimum?
You get your money?
Yeah, we're good.
Your shoes stuck to the floor? Get the fuck out of here.
Uh, we're… we're closing the store for a few days.
We, uh, need to drive Andrei to Florida to visit his mother.
Was that a question?
Because I don't think our boss would respond very well to being told
by two fucking clowns that they decided to take a vacation.
-You two fucking sweethearts or something? -We're cousins.
Can we go to Florida or not?
I'll tell you what.
Heads, the clown car gets to drive to Florida.
Tails, Mom, she's shit out of luck.
Two days. That's it.
Thank you.
Dickheads.
What did he say?
Assholes.
Disrespect your mother like that.
My mother doesn't live in Florida.
They don't know that! I can't wait to get this fucking deal done.
Bring in cheaper drugs, eliminate those assholes.
Soon, soon.
The two of us trying to swing this thing on our own,
we will look like clowns.
What's the latest on Yusuf?
Working on it. I'll find him.
We need some muscle in Miami. Serious, badass.
Show the Brazilians that we're real players
that can handle this operation.
-And drag Yusuf back here… -I understand.
…by his stupid fucking Nikes if you have to.
Motherfuckin'…
I hate this fucking car.
-Hey! Oh. Whoa. -Hey!
Oh, hi!
Oh my God!
Hey, girl!
Um, we made cupcakes.
-Oh my God -Oh my God. Cute.
I will be eating one of those immediately.
Thank you so much.
-I can take that. -Yes!
Thank you. Something from the registry, I hope.
Yes. Promise.
It's pink like all your, um…
your pink stuff.
-Yeah, thank you. -She knows me so well.
-It's, like, my favorite color. -Yeah.
-Come on in. -Okay.
Here, can I get you guys a little bottletini?
What is that?
So, obligatory shower game.
This is called dirty diaper.
Oh my God, yes.
And Morgan…
…since you arrived last, you're first up.
Oh, nah, someone else can go.
-Put it on. -Come on, do it.
Um, I'm really bad at games.
Exactly.
So, we have eight dirty diapers,
and you have to guess what's been left in there by tasting each one.
What the fuck?
-What the fuck? -Oh my God.
They're chocolate bars, Morgan.
-Yeah. -Okay.
-If she doesn't wanna go, I call dibs. -Oh, he'll do it.
-No, no, no. Mm-mm. -No. Girls only.
-Exactly. -I'm just gonna…
Oh.
-You got it? Yeah. -Mm-hmm.
Oh!
-Get in there. Get in. -Yeah.
-Big bite. -Yeah.
-Come on, come on, come on. -Okay.
Oh my God, I can't watch.
I ate the baby shit. I ate the shit.
I ate the shit.
You know, for someone who works with their hands,
they're awfully soft.
-Okay, you're the worst. -I'm just saying.
-I love you, you're the worst. -It brings up some questions.
Wait. It says we're supposed to be here, but…
-I don't understand why we can't just ask. -Does this harbor have-- No.
-What is the reluctance to ask for help? -It'll be fine, we're gonna find it.
-He might know. Excuse me. -No, don't bother him. Nick.
Hi, um, are you going to the Out and Loud event?
-The what? -Out and Loud.
It's an LGBTQIA+ organization. They're throwing a… a charity thing.
"Out and Loud" sounds homophobic.
No, it's not… it's not homophobic.
It's-- It's like, good loud, like, "raise your voice" kind of situation.
And why are you asking me?
-We were just… -I don't… He's being--
My boyfriend is being honored at the event,
and I just-- You have nice jeans.
Honored for what? Including the "IA+"?
Okay, do you know the place or not?
That's New York City.
The whole town is an LGBTQQIP2A+ event, so…
-Great, thank you. Yeah. -Thanks so much.
Why does our community have to be so divided?
-What did I do to him? -You bothered him.
Ugh! Speaking of dirty diapers,
we told you guys about how we're potty training Barnaby.
Yeah, we're doing the ten-minute rule.
So we're in a Homesense,
and he had to go number two, so we whip out the potty.
That's cute.
-Aww! -That's really cute.
That is so cute.
-Sorry, wait, what am I looking at, sorry? -Aww.
High five.
Bam! See?
-Is he shitting in the bedding aisle? -Yeah.
Morgan, he's two and a half.
Right, I know, but like, someone's out, shopping for a new duvet for their bed,
and your kid's just taking a dump?
-Babe, it's a baby. -No. I know, but it is fucking gross.
And did anyone ask the kid if he wants to be on social media
taking a shit in a Homesense? Like, that kid will grow up someday.
Yeah.
Well, it's, like, really good to see you guys. We've missed you.
-Oh, yes. -Yeah.
You guys would have the cutest kids.
-Yes. -Aww.
-Yes. -It's true, right?
-When are you guys gonna go for it? -Maybe… Maybe someday. Yeah, I don't know.
We know, Morgan.
It's, like, really amazing, and you would be, like, an amazing mom.
-Yeah. -Come on. You guys are ready.
-You're ready. -Yeah.
-You've been together for so long… -You would love it.
For you guys, it works, but I think, you know…
-No. -You are perfect together.
-You'll love it. -Oh my gosh, yeah.
I can't have kids!
I, uh…
I can't have them, so…
Yeah, I would love to sit around all day, Tara,
and watch your kid shit all over the place, but…
Uh, it's kinda hard for me right now, so…
Excuse me.
And I'm sorry that I ruined this party. I didn't wanna do that, okay?
Thank you for having us. This was really beautiful.
Get the fuck up. Get up, get the fuck over here. We're leaving.
Sorry.
Is it on a boat?
No, the invite just said Pier 49.
-Okay, well, we're on Pier 49. -This doesn't look like a gala.
Looks like a bunch of people who don't know where they're supposed to be going.
Okay.
Teagan's phone's disconnected.
Can you call someone else?
Teagan organized this whole thing. They're the only person I ever dealt with.
Okay. I mean, I… I don't know what to tell you.
I do see some lesbians, though.
So, worse comes to worst, they'll figure it out for us.
Nick, stop, please.
Just stop for a second, okay? This isn't funny, okay?
Okay.
The website's down. Something's wrong.
I gotta figure out what's going on here.
-Do you want my help? -No.
Does anyone know what's going on? Okay.
-What am I gonna be today? -It's a surprise.
-Can I get a hint? -No.
Oh, you're a little firecracker, aren't you?
Well, I think we're about finished up, so thank you, Arabella.
-I'm not done. -I'm done.
Oh. Whoa. My goodness.
Great job. Can I-- Ma, can I talk to you?
-Yes! -Over there.
-Kevin, honey, you wanna take my spot? -Take it, Kevin.
Yeah.
I… Um…
What?
-What… what did you do? What'd you do? -Cozying up to the families.
-Why? You're making me nervous. -Tom is here.
-What do you mean Tom is here? -He is here right now.
He's walking towards us and he's pulling focus…
-Oh my God. -…so I would just take the high road.
Natalie, I did not burn my bra to be talked down to by my own daughter.
I know how to handle him.
-Yeah. -Tom.
Didn't expect you to come out today. Appreciate the support.
Yeah, I just wanted to stop by,
remind people that after they get their kid a free hot dog,
I'm available to answer any grown-up questions
they might have about our upcoming election.
Well, I appreciate you taking time away from your boat…
-Oh. -…uh, but these are good people
who have a very clear sense of my values.
And I wouldn't want you to scare anybody off,
so I'm gonna ask you all to take this across the street.
Oh, see, last I checked, it was a free country,
so I can do what I'd like.
-Linda, I think you're needed. -Okay, hon.
-Well, give my best to your wife and kids. -Oh, yeah.
Well, my wife has been my biggest supporter, as have my children.
We're a stronger family because of it. But you wouldn't know what that's like.
You take care, Tom.
Yeah. And speaking of hot dogs…
…I heard your son's involved in a bit of a sex scandal at the church.
Yeah, my neighbor said he's, uh, stepping down. Oof.
Poor kid.
But I guess that's what happens when you grow up in a broken home.
But by all means, kitty cat, family first.
Oh.
-Mom. Run. -Natalie, get me out of here.
-Where do I-- -Legs. I'll carry you.
Are we gonna talk about it?
About what?
Okay, well, first of all, you're on birth control.
Why'd you tell Tara that we can't have kids? That's fucking crazy.
I didn't. I didn't say "we." I didn't say "we," I said "I."
God forbid anyone think your dick doesn't work for two seconds.
And you know, like, what if I couldn't have kids?
Okay, but you can.
Okay, but she doesn't know that. She doesn't know what I'm going through.
What are you going through, Morgan?
You're running now. You're baking cupcakes. Like, this is…
I don't know, okay? I don't know, I'm trying.
-Trying? -Yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'm trying to be a better person, but I can't… I can't be like those people.
-What's wrong with those people? -Oh my-- Everything! Everything!
It was a fucking game, Morgan.
It was a game.
Have you thought about the fact that it actually might do you some good
to eat shit from time to time?
Oh… I would eat shit right now
if it prevented me from turning into those people.
Who do you think you are, Morgan?
You are losing it.
Yeah. Have you ever thought about the fact
that maybe everyone else is fucking losing it, and I've just, like…
I've just stayed the same.
Natalie, I really don't want to hear it, okay? We're on our way. We're--
She-- She what?
What the fuck?
Do you know how much time it takes me to look like this?
-I can only imagine. -A lot of fucking time. Too much time.
I'm sorry, uh, I wish I had more information.
-Oh. -I'm just as frustrated as you are.
It looks like Teagan took the money and ran. I don't know what to say.
Not to mention Out Magazine paid 3K for a table at an event that doesn't exist.
They're in publishing. Do you think they have that kind of money?
Look, I know you're not the one that did the scamming, but you're a chair,
and you're right in front of me, and a person I can yell at.
You okay?
If I never hear the name Teagan ever again, it'll be too soon.
Not now, Nick.
Okay.
-It's not your fault. -But it kind of is my fault.
How?
How is some asshole stealing money your fault?
Because there were signs, and I ignored them.
Was Teagan hard to pin down from time to time? Yeah.
Did I question on a few occasions if this person was legit?
Was it weird their bank was in Estonia? Yeah!
But I was so desperate to offset my guilt that I looked the other way.
What guilt?
This relationship put me back in the closet, Nick.
And I'm not blaming you for it. I was a willing participant.
I would make the jokes too.
But it doesn't feel good to hide this away.
I got involved in Out and Loud so I could stay in this
and not feel like I was betraying a huge part of who I am.
Well, there has to be a way of fixing this, no?
Not unless you know how to get all those people's money back.
Former military, ruthless.
Recommendation from a friend inside.
Good. Great.
So… you guys think you can handle this?
Andrei…
They… they don't speak English?
So they don't speak English. They're security.
They don't need to speak English.
You got Yusuf?
Where the fuck is Yusuf?
Istanbul.
-What do you mean? -He went home.
He use company card to buy a ticket.
He went home?
Business class.
He went home.
The Brazilians want to meet our operations team, you fucking moron.
-Can't just be the two of us. -Three isn't much better.
Well, three is better than two.
Three people who actually speak English, who know the route.
Do you have any idea what the Brazilians will do to us
if they don't think we can handle this?
Yes, kill us.
And if I get killed,
I will make sure you know you were the reason for it.
I'll get killed too, you fucking idiot, so what difference will that make?
The fuck are you doing here?
-Who are they? -None of your fucking business.
-The fuck is he doing here? -Uh…
-You both wanted us to come to Miami. -Yeah.
Yeah?
I am willing to do that for you if you do something for me first.
And the girl. We need the girl too. She's tougher than he is.
All right, well…
And what… what do you need from us?
You know people who can track people down, you know, make things right?
You need a hit.
-A what? -A hit.
-You need them to disappear. -No. No, no, no, no.
I-- There's…
There's somebody who has just stolen a lot of money from a lot of people, okay?
I just need you to find them and do whatever it takes to get the money back.
Okay? But not a hit.
So… so, I don't know, scare them…
-But without the hit part. -Mm-hmm.
-You have info on them? -Yeah.
Then both of you will have to come to Miami.
Well, I can only speak for myself.
Okay, well, if you can let me take this call,
I could try to convince "the tougher one" to come.
-Go ahead. -Morgan, what do you want?
She what?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
-What is that, an owl? -It's a fucking possum, Nicky, okay?
It's a goddamn possum.
-You couldn't have washed off the paint? -Morgan!
Do you not think we thought about that? It's not water-soluble.
If we tried, it would only make it worse.
Well, there's nothing we can fucking do about it now, okay? So, enough.
Here's what's gonna happen. I am going to walk you down those steps,
past the press, and into the car, okay?
Yeah.
That's what we're gonna do. Is everybody clear?
-Mm-hmm. -Okay.
You've worked way too hard for this to derail you now, Linda.
Yeah.
Okay, good, let's go.
Okay, and maybe turn your head away from the cameras.
One question!
What do you have to say about Tom Donaldson?
Mrs. Morelli, care to comment on the allegations of assault
coming from Mr. Donaldson?
-Bullshit, let it go. -No, no, assault?
Is that what he's-- Is that what he's calling it?
Okay, sure.
Um…
Here's the truth.
There are very few things that a mother won't do to protect her son,
especially when he's found love after dedicating two decades of his life
to the church.
You fuck with my family, you fuck with me.
And I'm sorry if that sounds déclassé or something,
but that's who this mother is.
-See, Tom Donaldson got something… -Linda, the car's right here.
…very wrong about me.
Yes, my campaign is built on family first, but the thing is,
I consider this town to be my family,
and I will protect it,
and I will fight for it with the same maternal instincts
that I did for my son this afternoon.
So if Tom Donaldson
considers a little tap on the nose from this lowly mother of three assault,
then I'm afraid…
…he has totally underestimated just how powerful my family is.
-Linda! -Linda Morelli!
-I need you to come with me to Miami. -Oh, thank God. family is.