WEBVTT 00:00:06.756 --> 00:00:10.135 align:center Come on, gotta hustle. We got seven minutes till boarding. 00:00:10.218 --> 00:00:12.262 align:center Okay, honey. Slow down. Hey, hey, hi. 00:00:12.345 --> 00:00:14.139 align:center -Okay. -Let's take a breath. 00:00:14.222 --> 00:00:16.391 align:center Okay. 00:00:16.474 --> 00:00:17.976 align:center -I'm sorry. I'm just… -Yeah. 00:00:18.059 --> 00:00:22.272 align:center I'm really excited about this trip. I mean, we've never been to Barbados. 00:00:22.355 --> 00:00:25.233 align:center I know, but we can calm down, okay? 00:00:25.316 --> 00:00:26.818 align:center -Okay. -There's like nobody here. 00:00:26.901 --> 00:00:28.069 align:center I think we're gonna be fine. 00:00:28.737 --> 00:00:30.905 align:center Yeah, you're right. Sorry. 00:00:32.991 --> 00:00:34.451 align:center We'll be all right. 00:00:34.534 --> 00:00:36.036 align:center Attention, passengers… 00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:37.746 align:center -Next. -Hi. 00:00:37.829 --> 00:00:39.748 align:center Hello. ID, please. 00:00:43.084 --> 00:00:45.503 align:center -Thank you. Have a safe trip. -Thank you. 00:00:46.629 --> 00:00:47.547 align:center Hi, there. 00:00:49.090 --> 00:00:50.175 align:center One second, sir. 00:00:50.884 --> 00:00:52.218 align:center -Sorry. -Hey, Patricia! 00:00:53.720 --> 00:00:55.597 align:center What's up, twin? You ready to switch? 00:00:55.680 --> 00:00:57.140 align:center Yes, ma'am. 00:00:57.223 --> 00:00:58.641 align:center All right. 00:00:58.725 --> 00:01:01.728 align:center -Get your white ass over here. -I'm coming. Damn. 00:01:03.021 --> 00:01:04.814 align:center -Hey, boo. -You are glowing! 00:01:05.815 --> 00:01:08.568 align:center -I'll tell you why when I come back. -Oh shit. 00:01:08.651 --> 00:01:10.403 align:center Kev gave you a workout, huh? 00:01:10.487 --> 00:01:11.946 align:center A workout! 00:01:13.114 --> 00:01:16.493 align:center -Ooh! Shit. -Here you go. 00:01:17.118 --> 00:01:19.412 align:center Sir, I still got 30 more seconds of break. 00:01:19.913 --> 00:01:22.624 align:center Excuse me, ma'am, it's just I'm running a little late, 00:01:22.707 --> 00:01:24.626 align:center and I've got to get to my gate. Pardon me. 00:01:24.709 --> 00:01:27.545 align:center You're acting like I’m the one that set your alarm. I didn't do that shit. 00:01:27.629 --> 00:01:30.924 align:center Gosh, I wish you had been there to help wake me up this morning. 00:01:31.007 --> 00:01:32.008 align:center Ugh. 00:01:32.592 --> 00:01:34.636 align:center No, thank you. Wake you up? 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:38.098 align:center -Tickle your nuts? I don't think so. -Oh, no, I-I didn't mean it like that. 00:01:38.181 --> 00:01:39.349 align:center Okay, next. 00:01:40.350 --> 00:01:43.937 align:center Uh, excuse me. Do you hand things to your lady like that? 00:01:44.437 --> 00:01:46.356 align:center Hand that shit to me softer. 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:47.690 align:center Softer? 00:01:47.774 --> 00:01:48.733 align:center Yeah, softer. 00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:58.034 align:center Thank you. 00:01:58.827 --> 00:01:59.953 align:center Look in the camera. 00:02:01.412 --> 00:02:03.373 align:center Can you take your goofy-ass hat off, please? 00:02:03.456 --> 00:02:04.707 align:center Sure. Sorry. 00:02:04.791 --> 00:02:07.252 align:center Dang, you got a big-ass head. 00:02:08.002 --> 00:02:12.048 align:center Yeah, you know, they-- they say that's actually a sign of intelligence. 00:02:12.132 --> 00:02:15.093 align:center They say that Einstein had a big ol' melon. 00:02:15.176 --> 00:02:18.096 align:center Ooh, that's the dude with the freaky-ass island, huh? 00:02:18.680 --> 00:02:21.307 align:center No, you're thinking of Jeffrey Epstein. 00:02:21.391 --> 00:02:22.308 align:center Shit. 00:02:22.392 --> 00:02:24.769 align:center Hey, big-head Epstein coming through! 00:02:25.979 --> 00:02:27.647 align:center -Thank you. -Next. 00:02:27.730 --> 00:02:30.441 align:center A reminder, shoes stay on. 00:02:30.525 --> 00:02:31.901 align:center Belts come off. 00:02:31.985 --> 00:02:34.988 align:center Large electronics into a separate bin. 00:02:36.239 --> 00:02:37.574 align:center Why are your shoes on? 00:02:38.283 --> 00:02:42.787 align:center I thought the guy just said that you don't have to take your shoes off. 00:02:42.871 --> 00:02:45.832 align:center -What guy? -I think it was this gentleman right here. 00:02:45.915 --> 00:02:47.917 align:center I thought that's what he said. 00:02:48.001 --> 00:02:49.627 align:center Did you just call me a nigga? 00:02:49.711 --> 00:02:52.797 align:center No, I just… I just thought that you'd said-- 00:02:52.881 --> 00:02:55.925 align:center -I ain't say nothing. -So, excuse me, shoes off? 00:02:56.009 --> 00:02:58.803 align:center -No, excuse you. -Listen up! Shoes off! 00:02:58.887 --> 00:03:00.555 align:center -Shoes on. -Belts on. 00:03:00.638 --> 00:03:02.974 align:center -Belts off. Jackets on. -Okay, I apologize. 00:03:03.057 --> 00:03:04.726 align:center -Get my shoes off. -Think he OBJ. 00:03:04.809 --> 00:03:05.894 align:center Step in. 00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:08.563 align:center Hands over your head. 00:03:09.314 --> 00:03:10.690 align:center Hold them there. 00:03:10.773 --> 00:03:11.900 align:center Step out. 00:03:14.068 --> 00:03:16.905 align:center It's telling me I'm gonna have to do a secondary screening. 00:03:16.988 --> 00:03:19.574 align:center Do we have your consent for a secondary screening? 00:03:19.657 --> 00:03:22.577 align:center Okay, just-- just go ahead. I'll meet you at the gate. 00:03:22.660 --> 00:03:23.745 align:center Okay. 00:03:23.828 --> 00:03:25.955 align:center This will just take a couple minutes, sir. 00:03:26.664 --> 00:03:29.292 align:center -Oh, you bringing someone home with that. -You know that's right. 00:03:29.375 --> 00:03:31.252 align:center Patricia for a secondary screening. 00:03:31.336 --> 00:03:32.503 align:center Copy. I gotta go. 00:03:32.587 --> 00:03:33.630 align:center Bye, bitch. 00:03:35.131 --> 00:03:36.424 align:center Did you say Patricia? 00:03:36.507 --> 00:03:37.592 align:center Tracy! 00:03:38.092 --> 00:03:40.136 align:center -What's up, girl? -I drank your Pepsi Max. 00:03:40.220 --> 00:03:41.638 align:center -That's all right. -Oh shit. 00:03:41.721 --> 00:03:43.431 align:center -You still here? -How you doing? 00:03:43.514 --> 00:03:45.892 align:center -That's wild as hell. -I know, yeah. 00:03:46.392 --> 00:03:47.602 align:center Okay, spread 'em. 00:03:50.230 --> 00:03:51.356 align:center Okay. 00:03:52.106 --> 00:03:53.399 align:center What is this shit? 00:03:54.067 --> 00:03:56.611 align:center Ooh! Your gooch thick. 00:03:56.694 --> 00:04:00.281 align:center That could be a problem. You need to see the dick and balls doctor. 00:04:00.365 --> 00:04:02.075 align:center Prostate guy, yeah. Thank you. 00:04:05.411 --> 00:04:06.955 align:center What you got in here? 00:04:07.038 --> 00:04:09.457 align:center Ma'am, how much longer do you think this is gonna take? 00:04:09.540 --> 00:04:10.959 align:center I've really got to make this flight. 00:04:11.042 --> 00:04:13.336 align:center You think you could not grow when my hands are here? 00:04:13.419 --> 00:04:14.879 align:center I don't think I'm growing. 00:04:14.963 --> 00:04:16.255 align:center I saw your lady earlier. 00:04:16.339 --> 00:04:19.175 align:center I don't think she would like to know the way you lookin' at another woman. 00:04:19.259 --> 00:04:21.219 align:center -How am I looking at you? -Like that. 00:04:21.302 --> 00:04:22.845 align:center Like you're trying to get with me. 00:04:22.929 --> 00:04:25.890 align:center You know, people say I look like Rihanna. 00:04:27.642 --> 00:04:29.018 align:center Yeah, yeah. 00:04:29.102 --> 00:04:31.312 align:center She's a beauty. 00:04:31.396 --> 00:04:33.022 align:center -Fuck! -What? 00:04:33.106 --> 00:04:34.440 align:center Shit. 00:04:34.524 --> 00:04:36.651 align:center Your dumb-ass leg broke my nail. 00:04:36.734 --> 00:04:37.944 align:center Yeah. 00:04:39.028 --> 00:04:40.238 align:center May I get going now? 00:04:40.321 --> 00:04:41.906 align:center Yeah, get your ass out of here. 00:04:42.573 --> 00:04:44.742 align:center -Good to see you. -Take your ass this way. 00:04:44.826 --> 00:04:47.203 align:center -Go get your motherfucking bag. -Fuck. 00:04:50.665 --> 00:04:52.208 align:center Come on, come on. 00:04:52.292 --> 00:04:53.626 align:center Oh shit! 00:04:53.710 --> 00:04:55.503 align:center Teddy, look at this shit. 00:04:55.586 --> 00:04:58.673 align:center Look at this man get clipped by a whole-ass semi truck. 00:04:58.756 --> 00:05:00.633 align:center Come on. 00:05:01.426 --> 00:05:03.469 align:center Patricia, that ain't real. That's AI. 00:05:03.553 --> 00:05:04.387 align:center How you know? 00:05:04.470 --> 00:05:07.432 align:center Well, the driver of the truck is, uh, Peter Griffin. 00:05:07.515 --> 00:05:09.392 align:center He's normally like a cartoon character. 00:05:09.475 --> 00:05:11.894 align:center That's a real man. What the hell is AI? 00:05:11.978 --> 00:05:13.396 align:center Oh shit. 00:05:13.479 --> 00:05:16.024 align:center Patricia, your crazy ass made me miss a bag. 00:05:16.107 --> 00:05:17.817 align:center I gotta put that one back through. 00:05:17.900 --> 00:05:20.236 align:center That's my bad. I'll take care of it. Don't worry. 00:05:20.862 --> 00:05:23.031 align:center Whose raggedy-ass bag is this? 00:05:24.282 --> 00:05:27.035 align:center Ugh. This bag stank. 00:05:27.118 --> 00:05:29.287 align:center -Just have at it. -All right. 00:05:30.163 --> 00:05:31.372 align:center Let's do this. 00:05:32.832 --> 00:05:35.501 align:center Let's see what nasty shit you got in here. 00:05:36.377 --> 00:05:37.211 align:center Ooh. 00:05:40.423 --> 00:05:42.216 align:center This camera got lithium batteries? 00:05:42.300 --> 00:05:44.260 align:center You know what? Just keep the camera. 00:05:44.844 --> 00:05:46.512 align:center Okay. Teddy! 00:05:47.096 --> 00:05:49.682 align:center -You be taking pictures, right? -Sure do. 00:05:49.766 --> 00:05:51.934 align:center I know you do, with your freak ass. Here. 00:05:53.436 --> 00:05:55.855 align:center Christmas came early, motherfucker. 00:05:56.731 --> 00:05:58.441 align:center You know I take care of mine. 00:05:58.524 --> 00:06:01.194 align:center -Thank you. -All right, take some of me. 00:06:01.277 --> 00:06:03.863 align:center I repeat, this is the final boarding call… 00:06:03.946 --> 00:06:05.740 align:center Let me turn around for you a second. 00:06:06.324 --> 00:06:08.159 align:center I'm trying to look like Solange. 00:06:08.242 --> 00:06:10.912 align:center -You do. You're beautiful. -Thank you. 00:06:12.872 --> 00:06:15.666 align:center -You look good. -I know what you like, Teddy. 00:06:15.750 --> 00:06:17.377 align:center Will you cut the shit? 00:06:20.171 --> 00:06:21.881 align:center Excuse you? 00:06:23.508 --> 00:06:26.052 align:center What is your problem with me, lady? 00:06:26.135 --> 00:06:27.970 align:center You have singled me out 00:06:28.054 --> 00:06:31.891 align:center and made this a beyond hellish experience. 00:06:31.974 --> 00:06:33.726 align:center And you're making me feel… 00:06:35.603 --> 00:06:37.438 align:center I feel like I'm gonna explode. 00:06:39.774 --> 00:06:41.359 align:center He got a bomb! 00:06:44.487 --> 00:06:47.698 align:center A terrorist attack has been averted at the Atlanta airport. 00:06:47.782 --> 00:06:49.283 align:center The suspect, Mark Wicker, 00:06:49.367 --> 00:06:52.078 align:center was stopped by TSA agents and found to be carrying 00:06:52.161 --> 00:06:55.498 align:center multiple explosive devices in his carry-on and rectum. 00:06:55.581 --> 00:06:59.502 align:center He may have succeeded had it not been for veteran TSA agent Patricia Finch, 00:06:59.585 --> 00:07:03.047 align:center who is being recognized for her valor and bravery. 00:07:03.131 --> 00:07:05.633 align:center First of all, I just wanna give a shout-out to Jesus. 00:07:05.716 --> 00:07:07.593 align:center I do everything for Jesus. 00:07:07.677 --> 00:07:08.845 align:center I don't mess with saints 00:07:08.928 --> 00:07:10.138 align:center and none of that bull****. 00:07:10.221 --> 00:07:12.682 align:center Growing up as a little white girl in Atlanta, 00:07:12.765 --> 00:07:15.268 align:center I was always good at knowing, 00:07:15.351 --> 00:07:18.312 align:center like, who is kind of a piece of ****. 00:07:18.396 --> 00:07:21.023 align:center If your eyebrows is too thick, gone. 00:07:21.107 --> 00:07:24.152 align:center If your eyes ain't open, see you later. 00:07:24.235 --> 00:07:26.112 align:center If you smell funky, 00:07:26.195 --> 00:07:28.489 align:center get your *** to the Greyhound bus station. 00:07:28.573 --> 00:07:30.324 align:center You ain't meant for the airport, mother******. 00:07:30.408 --> 00:07:31.617 align:center Take my picture, y'all. 00:07:31.701 --> 00:07:33.453 align:center Hey. 00:07:33.536 --> 00:07:34.871 align:center Over your shoulder! 00:07:34.954 --> 00:07:36.914 align:center -Am I getting any money for this? -No. 00:07:36.998 --> 00:07:38.749 align:center All right, I'm done with this ****. 00:07:38.833 --> 00:07:40.710 align:center All right. Bye, y'all. 00:07:52.805 --> 00:07:54.182 align:center -Hey. -Hey. 00:07:54.265 --> 00:07:55.641 align:center That's my guy. 00:07:55.725 --> 00:07:57.018 align:center I'm not late, am I? 00:07:57.101 --> 00:07:58.394 align:center Not at all. 00:07:58.477 --> 00:08:01.856 align:center Let me get a look at you. Oh yeah. You look great, man. 00:08:01.939 --> 00:08:03.858 align:center Your body's so fit right now. 00:08:03.941 --> 00:08:04.984 align:center Loving this jacket. 00:08:05.067 --> 00:08:07.612 align:center You look slim, confident, ready for action. 00:08:07.695 --> 00:08:09.280 align:center -Thanks, man. -Yeah. 00:08:09.363 --> 00:08:12.200 align:center So this is really happening, huh? 00:08:14.619 --> 00:08:16.329 align:center Oh yeah. 00:08:17.622 --> 00:08:21.000 align:center Good, good. 'Cause I gotta tell you, 00:08:21.083 --> 00:08:22.335 align:center I'm over Bad Thoughts. 00:08:22.418 --> 00:08:23.252 align:center Mm. 00:08:23.336 --> 00:08:25.254 align:center I appreciate the opportunity. You know that. 00:08:25.338 --> 00:08:29.008 align:center I'm just done with this wacky prosthetic wig stuff. 00:08:29.091 --> 00:08:29.926 align:center Ugh, yeah. 00:08:30.009 --> 00:08:34.430 align:center I-- I want people to know I take acting seriously, you know? 00:08:34.514 --> 00:08:35.765 align:center I want to do, like… 00:08:35.848 --> 00:08:36.807 align:center Trucks. 00:08:37.892 --> 00:08:40.102 align:center -What? -Big ones. 00:08:40.186 --> 00:08:41.479 align:center Eighteen-wheelers. 00:08:42.772 --> 00:08:44.607 align:center Why are you always talking about trucks? 00:08:45.942 --> 00:08:48.277 align:center Oh, I don't know why I said that. Keep going. 00:08:48.361 --> 00:08:50.905 align:center Okay. I want to make feature films, is my point. 00:08:50.988 --> 00:08:53.950 align:center Right… well, that's why we're here, buddy. 00:08:54.033 --> 00:08:57.662 align:center You are about to get a major offer from the guy that they call 00:08:57.745 --> 00:08:59.580 align:center the Asian Chris Nolan. 00:08:59.664 --> 00:09:04.043 align:center Which means this thing is going to be extremely heady and thought-provoking. 00:09:04.126 --> 00:09:07.088 align:center You should be jizzing in your drawers right now. 00:09:07.171 --> 00:09:10.174 align:center I want to see you blow your load. 00:09:10.258 --> 00:09:11.133 align:center Okay. 00:09:11.217 --> 00:09:14.303 align:center I want you walking in there with a wet front, 00:09:14.387 --> 00:09:17.682 align:center stinking to high heaven like some 13-year-old freak. 00:09:17.765 --> 00:09:18.766 align:center Tom? 00:09:18.849 --> 00:09:20.017 align:center They're ready. 00:09:22.270 --> 00:09:23.271 align:center Mm. 00:09:23.980 --> 00:09:25.564 align:center That's smartwater. 00:09:25.648 --> 00:09:27.441 align:center These guys know what they're doing. 00:09:28.150 --> 00:09:29.986 align:center Hey. 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:32.905 align:center You look really cool. 00:09:33.573 --> 00:09:34.407 align:center Thanks, man. 00:09:35.199 --> 00:09:37.660 align:center Tom fucking Segura! 00:09:37.743 --> 00:09:40.913 align:center Oh my God! Lookin' slim, my guy. 00:09:40.997 --> 00:09:43.124 align:center I would fuck you right here if I wasn't a lesbian. 00:09:43.207 --> 00:09:44.959 align:center Don't let the nails fool you. I'm a lesbian. 00:09:45.918 --> 00:09:47.336 align:center Nice. I love lesbians. 00:09:47.420 --> 00:09:49.297 align:center I watch a lot of lesbian stuff. 00:09:49.380 --> 00:09:51.382 align:center Uh, Tom, I want you to meet someone 00:09:51.465 --> 00:09:54.885 align:center who is very special to us here at Chikara Kikku. 00:09:54.969 --> 00:09:58.306 align:center This is Mr. Yoshi Mashimoto, 00:09:58.389 --> 00:10:01.142 align:center one of the few geniuses left in the world. 00:10:01.225 --> 00:10:03.227 align:center I'm sure you're familiar with his work. 00:10:03.769 --> 00:10:04.729 align:center Uh… 00:10:05.521 --> 00:10:07.189 align:center Mr. Mashimoto is the author 00:10:07.273 --> 00:10:11.027 align:center of the highest-selling graphic novel of all time. 00:10:11.110 --> 00:10:12.445 align:center -Amazing. -Yeah. 00:10:12.945 --> 00:10:13.779 align:center Hello. 00:10:17.366 --> 00:10:19.452 align:center Mr. Mashimoto is honored that you are here. 00:10:20.286 --> 00:10:22.455 align:center Thank you. 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.670 align:center He also says that you are very funny and bald. 00:10:30.171 --> 00:10:32.381 align:center -Yes. -And he loves your blue eyes. 00:10:32.882 --> 00:10:35.676 align:center I've always said that they pop on camera. 00:10:37.219 --> 00:10:39.096 align:center Thank you. That's very nice. 00:10:41.682 --> 00:10:42.933 align:center Great. 00:10:43.017 --> 00:10:44.935 align:center All right. Let's take a seat. 00:10:45.019 --> 00:10:45.895 align:center Okay. 00:10:45.978 --> 00:10:49.607 align:center So, Tom, I bet you're wondering why the hell you're here. 00:10:49.690 --> 00:10:52.693 align:center Yeah. We were just saying this is all very under wraps. 00:10:52.777 --> 00:10:55.029 align:center Under wraps and exciting as fuck. 00:10:55.112 --> 00:10:58.824 align:center Okay, well, we feel exactly the same way. 00:10:58.908 --> 00:11:01.702 align:center So, Mr. Mashimoto's masterpiece 00:11:01.786 --> 00:11:03.412 align:center is entitled Konyo Yaro. 00:11:03.496 --> 00:11:05.998 align:center -Konyo Yaro. -That's right. Konyo Yaro. 00:11:06.082 --> 00:11:07.708 align:center Rolls right off the tongue. 00:11:07.792 --> 00:11:11.170 align:center And we are now finally, after many years, 00:11:11.253 --> 00:11:14.924 align:center going to turn his brilliant graphic novel 00:11:15.007 --> 00:11:18.969 align:center into a high-budget, live-action feature film. 00:11:19.053 --> 00:11:21.180 align:center That's awesome. I love feature films. 00:11:21.263 --> 00:11:25.434 align:center I can vouch for that. Tom does indeed love feature films. 00:11:25.518 --> 00:11:26.560 align:center Okay. Relax. 00:11:26.644 --> 00:11:29.313 align:center So, Tom, the reason why you're here 00:11:29.397 --> 00:11:33.609 align:center is that Mr. Mashimoto has requested 00:11:33.693 --> 00:11:36.404 align:center you play the main character. 00:11:37.697 --> 00:11:41.617 align:center -Really? -I know. Our reaction here was the same. 00:11:41.701 --> 00:11:45.538 align:center Like, there are so many other people who could do it 00:11:45.621 --> 00:11:48.582 align:center who are movie stars, you know? 00:11:48.666 --> 00:11:51.752 align:center But no, he made it very clear 00:11:51.836 --> 00:11:53.504 align:center he only wants you. 00:11:54.422 --> 00:11:56.382 align:center I think I'm gonna come. 00:11:57.383 --> 00:12:00.386 align:center This is your guy. Where do we sign? 00:12:01.345 --> 00:12:04.515 align:center I mean, uh, we are very open to this. 00:12:04.598 --> 00:12:08.269 align:center Yes, um, it's very flattering. Thank you for that. 00:12:08.352 --> 00:12:12.606 align:center Um, and it sounds great, but can I get a little bit more detail about it? 00:12:12.690 --> 00:12:14.733 align:center Of course. Yeah, of course. 00:12:14.817 --> 00:12:18.028 align:center Let's go through the whole thing. Okay. 00:12:18.988 --> 00:12:20.156 align:center Behold. 00:12:20.239 --> 00:12:21.615 align:center New Tokyoville. 00:12:21.699 --> 00:12:27.246 align:center Humanity's last safe zone in a post-chemical wasteland. 00:12:27.329 --> 00:12:30.958 align:center Yet danger coils around every border 00:12:31.041 --> 00:12:35.629 align:center as rogue cyborgs are closing in on every side. 00:12:35.713 --> 00:12:39.175 align:center But from the shadows emerges… 00:12:39.842 --> 00:12:41.552 align:center Bushido! 00:12:42.344 --> 00:12:46.432 align:center Yes, a rogue warrior forged in exile 00:12:46.515 --> 00:12:47.933 align:center and driven by fate, 00:12:48.017 --> 00:12:50.853 align:center destined to rid the world of evil 00:12:51.437 --> 00:12:56.358 align:center and deliver humanity from the edge of oblivion. 00:12:56.442 --> 00:12:57.610 align:center That's you. 00:12:59.069 --> 00:13:00.070 align:center Huh. 00:13:00.988 --> 00:13:01.989 align:center Wow. 00:13:03.073 --> 00:13:05.117 align:center Squirt. I just came. 00:13:05.201 --> 00:13:07.286 align:center I warned you guys. 00:13:07.369 --> 00:13:09.038 align:center So he's just a total badass? 00:13:09.121 --> 00:13:12.041 align:center Not sure this is even gonna require much acting. 00:13:12.124 --> 00:13:14.376 align:center Hey, hey. Jesus. You gotta tone it down a notch. 00:13:14.460 --> 00:13:17.796 align:center Well, actually, I mean, the character is a bit of a recluse. 00:13:17.880 --> 00:13:20.049 align:center Yes, he lives in the sewer system. 00:13:21.008 --> 00:13:23.052 align:center In the sewer system? 00:13:23.135 --> 00:13:26.722 align:center Yes. He gets his power from the waste of the city, 00:13:26.805 --> 00:13:29.141 align:center but then channels it for good. 00:13:29.225 --> 00:13:31.143 align:center -Yeah. -I told you. Heady stuff. 00:13:32.019 --> 00:13:34.563 align:center Interesting. And what is the name of the movie again? 00:13:34.647 --> 00:13:36.524 align:center -Konyo… -Konyo Yaro. 00:13:36.607 --> 00:13:38.150 align:center Konyo Yaro. 00:13:38.234 --> 00:13:41.403 align:center Yes, but of course, we will use the English translation. 00:13:41.487 --> 00:13:42.321 align:center Right. 00:13:42.905 --> 00:13:43.989 align:center Hogtit Shitbeast. 00:13:45.908 --> 00:13:47.451 align:center Hogtit Shitbeast. 00:13:48.369 --> 00:13:50.246 align:center Wow. Powerful. 00:13:50.996 --> 00:13:52.498 align:center Hogtit Shitbeast? 00:13:53.374 --> 00:13:55.876 align:center Yeah, well, because he's got the hog tits, 00:13:55.960 --> 00:13:57.711 align:center but also he is a shit beast, 00:13:57.795 --> 00:13:59.880 align:center so it's a little bit of a play on words there. 00:13:59.964 --> 00:14:02.007 align:center -Hm. -Badass. I get it. 00:14:02.091 --> 00:14:03.717 align:center It's foreign. It's edgy. 00:14:03.801 --> 00:14:05.427 align:center I'm, like, super into this. 00:14:06.470 --> 00:14:07.471 align:center This? 00:14:07.555 --> 00:14:09.765 align:center So actually he is gonna need you to pack on about 150-- 00:14:09.848 --> 00:14:11.433 align:center I mean, at this point, over 200 pounds. 00:14:12.977 --> 00:14:14.186 align:center You must become fatter. 00:14:15.854 --> 00:14:17.982 align:center It has to be real. No computers. 00:14:18.065 --> 00:14:21.735 align:center You see, you first caught Mr. Mashimoto's attention 00:14:21.819 --> 00:14:26.532 align:center with your 2014 ha-ha comedy show, Completely Normal. 00:14:26.615 --> 00:14:28.158 align:center Ha-ha comedy show. 00:14:28.242 --> 00:14:29.535 align:center Very funny. 00:14:29.618 --> 00:14:31.203 align:center Thank you for watching that. 00:14:31.287 --> 00:14:35.624 align:center He took one look at your face and said, "That is my Hogtit Shitbeast." 00:14:35.708 --> 00:14:38.877 align:center It's as if you jumped right out of his mind. 00:14:38.961 --> 00:14:43.632 align:center In fact, he's been heartbroken about your recent weight loss. 00:14:43.716 --> 00:14:47.678 align:center The same way he felt when fat Adele got skinny. 00:14:48.304 --> 00:14:52.016 align:center Yeah, uh, it's hard to keep it off, but… 00:14:57.021 --> 00:14:58.606 align:center You've done it before. 00:14:58.689 --> 00:15:02.693 align:center Just stuff your fat face, you little piggy. 00:15:02.776 --> 00:15:04.778 align:center His words, not mine. 00:15:06.071 --> 00:15:08.574 align:center And what's coming out of his breasts? 00:15:08.657 --> 00:15:10.951 align:center Those are teats. And it's blood. 00:15:11.785 --> 00:15:14.163 align:center He replenishes what he loses by killing, 00:15:14.246 --> 00:15:16.457 align:center which is why he lives underneath the abortion clinic. 00:15:16.540 --> 00:15:20.377 align:center He eats the fetuses one at a time, yeah, 00:15:20.461 --> 00:15:24.298 align:center and when he runs out, that's when fecal matter sprays out. 00:15:24.381 --> 00:15:25.549 align:center Of his tits. 00:15:25.633 --> 00:15:26.925 align:center -Teats. -Right. 00:15:27.009 --> 00:15:28.052 align:center His teats, correct. 00:15:28.135 --> 00:15:30.012 align:center Of course. Makes complete sense. 00:15:30.095 --> 00:15:32.556 align:center I've got the contract ready for you right here. 00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:34.892 align:center All the details are outlined. 00:15:36.310 --> 00:15:39.021 align:center Um, this is just… 00:15:39.521 --> 00:15:42.483 align:center I don't know. I don't really feel like I'm getting it, you know? 00:15:42.566 --> 00:15:44.401 align:center Well, maybe this will help. 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:52.284 align:center -Is that a… -Yeah, it's a lunch box. 00:15:52.368 --> 00:15:53.744 align:center Now, this is just a prototype, 00:15:53.827 --> 00:15:55.704 align:center but imagine milk coming out of one of them, 00:15:55.788 --> 00:15:57.247 align:center fruit punch out of another. 00:15:57.331 --> 00:16:00.084 align:center Oat milk, if your kid's lactose intolerant. 00:16:00.167 --> 00:16:02.962 align:center I'm a bit of a tits guy. Can I squeeze them? 00:16:03.045 --> 00:16:04.254 align:center Honey, go for it. 00:16:07.257 --> 00:16:09.593 align:center Wow. These feel like real tits. 00:16:09.677 --> 00:16:11.512 align:center -Teats. -Teats. 00:16:11.595 --> 00:16:13.389 align:center The hair is a nice touch. 00:16:13.889 --> 00:16:18.018 align:center Yeah, I guess I'm struggling with it. 00:16:18.102 --> 00:16:21.981 align:center Um, it's a lot of new information. You think you could give us a second to… 00:16:22.064 --> 00:16:23.941 align:center Okay, you just take one quick second. 00:16:24.024 --> 00:16:25.025 align:center Okay. 00:16:25.984 --> 00:16:27.277 align:center What the fuck, man? 00:16:28.696 --> 00:16:30.280 align:center This is all part of the game. 00:16:30.364 --> 00:16:33.325 align:center Look, I know how hard you work to keep off all that weight, 00:16:33.409 --> 00:16:35.285 align:center and it's super impressive, but like it or not, 00:16:35.369 --> 00:16:38.747 align:center your brand is being a disgusting slob. 00:16:38.831 --> 00:16:40.582 align:center That's how people see you. 00:16:40.666 --> 00:16:43.669 align:center This project is your Black Panther. 00:16:44.503 --> 00:16:45.879 align:center Fat Panther. 00:16:48.173 --> 00:16:50.426 align:center Guys, um, 00:16:51.093 --> 00:16:53.345 align:center as much as I appreciate 00:16:53.429 --> 00:16:55.597 align:center most of what you said, 00:16:56.807 --> 00:16:59.852 align:center I just can't see myself playing this part. 00:16:59.935 --> 00:17:04.189 align:center And I really hope you can find somebody that suits what you need, sir, 00:17:04.273 --> 00:17:06.567 align:center but it's not gonna be me. 00:17:06.650 --> 00:17:07.818 align:center No? 00:17:07.901 --> 00:17:12.948 align:center Because I can think of about 800,000 reasons 00:17:13.031 --> 00:17:14.491 align:center why you should. 00:17:14.992 --> 00:17:17.453 align:center Well, it's not about the money for me. 00:17:18.037 --> 00:17:21.749 align:center Unfortunately, this doesn't align with who I am, 00:17:21.832 --> 00:17:25.878 align:center and I'm gonna have to respectfully say thank you, but I can't do this. 00:17:34.011 --> 00:17:35.304 align:center Fourteen million. 00:17:39.475 --> 00:17:41.602 align:center We had a little bit of wiggle room. 00:17:42.686 --> 00:17:43.771 align:center Holy shit. 00:17:44.855 --> 00:17:45.773 align:center Fuck. 00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:50.277 align:center Come on! More! 00:17:52.362 --> 00:17:54.198 align:center Just make sound! Oink, oink! 00:17:56.575 --> 00:17:58.452 align:center You're my comedy pig! 00:18:01.330 --> 00:18:03.832 align:center Comedy pig! 00:18:23.685 --> 00:18:24.686 align:center Fuck. 00:18:43.372 --> 00:18:44.373 align:center Fuck. pig!