WEBVTT

00:00:08.133 --> 00:00:09.801 align:center
But first, my sister.

00:00:09.884 --> 00:00:12.262 align:center
Is she coming or… Is she here?

00:00:12.345 --> 00:00:13.596 align:center
Ohh!

00:00:14.556 --> 00:00:16.015 align:center
No! Fuck!

00:00:16.099 --> 00:00:17.517 align:center
Who is this?

00:00:18.143 --> 00:00:20.979 align:center
-What is that?
-Very nice choice, Kati.

00:00:21.062 --> 00:00:23.189 align:center
-What in the fuck is coming out of you?
-Strong man.

00:00:23.273 --> 00:00:25.483 align:center
I can't wait to have a taste.

00:00:26.860 --> 00:00:28.987 align:center
You don't want me now, do you?

00:00:29.070 --> 00:00:29.988 align:center
No.

00:00:30.864 --> 00:00:33.992 align:center
I mean, yeah, yeah, I do.

00:00:34.075 --> 00:00:37.203 align:center
I do, I'm really horny. I just…

00:00:38.121 --> 00:00:40.331 align:center
You're so beautiful.

00:00:42.625 --> 00:00:44.252 align:center
Okay.

00:00:44.335 --> 00:00:47.088 align:center
Do her first and then me.

00:00:47.672 --> 00:00:48.673 align:center
Okay?

00:00:48.757 --> 00:00:51.760 align:center
Monsieur. Monsieur.

00:00:52.844 --> 00:00:54.804 align:center
Use the backdoor. She likes it.

00:00:54.888 --> 00:00:55.889 align:center
Don't talk to her.

00:00:55.972 --> 00:00:57.015 align:center
Come over here.

00:00:57.682 --> 00:00:58.933 align:center
Fuck me, big boy.

00:00:59.017 --> 00:01:00.310 align:center
Yes! Fuck her.

00:01:01.144 --> 00:01:02.270 align:center
She wants you.

00:01:03.354 --> 00:01:04.189 align:center
Okay.

00:01:05.315 --> 00:01:06.316 align:center
Okay.

00:01:06.399 --> 00:01:07.400 align:center
Yes.

00:01:07.484 --> 00:01:08.401 align:center
Okay.

00:01:08.485 --> 00:01:09.360 align:center
Go get her.

00:01:09.444 --> 00:01:10.820 align:center
Okay. Yeah.

00:01:10.904 --> 00:01:12.697 align:center
Yeah, her first.

00:01:13.490 --> 00:01:14.783 align:center
Bonsoir, Monsieur.

00:01:16.242 --> 00:01:17.327 align:center
Bonsoir.

00:01:17.410 --> 00:01:20.288 align:center
Your French is fantastic.

00:01:20.830 --> 00:01:24.626 align:center
It arouses me
that you are a world traveler.

00:01:26.461 --> 00:01:27.545 align:center
Merci.

00:01:27.629 --> 00:01:29.631 align:center
Drop your pants and fuck me now!

00:01:30.507 --> 00:01:31.966 align:center
-Okay.
-It's my turn.

00:01:32.842 --> 00:01:36.805 align:center
Put some butter on that baguette
and shove it in my ass.

00:01:36.888 --> 00:01:37.847 align:center
Mmm…

00:01:37.931 --> 00:01:39.098 align:center
Now,

00:01:39.766 --> 00:01:40.934 align:center
get it hard.

00:01:41.559 --> 00:01:44.395 align:center
Shove it in my tight little ass.

00:01:44.479 --> 00:01:47.899 align:center
Give it a good tug
like you're starting a lawn mower.

00:01:48.858 --> 00:01:50.777 align:center
Yes! Tug, tug, tug.

00:01:51.528 --> 00:01:53.404 align:center
Big and hard.

00:01:54.739 --> 00:01:56.616 align:center
Your peepee is not going to grow?

00:01:56.699 --> 00:01:57.575 align:center
I'm trying, man.

00:01:57.659 --> 00:02:00.036 align:center
-You've never had sex before?
-That's not what it is--

00:02:00.119 --> 00:02:02.580 align:center
Kati, you have to bring a man
who's ready to fuck.

00:02:02.664 --> 00:02:04.916 align:center
Your boy's not even hard.

00:02:04.999 --> 00:02:05.917 align:center
Pull harder.

00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.127 align:center
Fuck.

00:02:07.669 --> 00:02:09.128 align:center
Sorry, I…

00:02:09.629 --> 00:02:10.922 align:center
You're not going to?

00:02:11.005 --> 00:02:13.049 align:center
I'm sorry. I'm just having a little--

00:02:13.132 --> 00:02:14.217 align:center
Do you need a little help?

00:02:14.300 --> 00:02:17.512 align:center
No, no, I'm having
a little trouble back here.

00:02:18.012 --> 00:02:19.347 align:center
Put it in my mouth.

00:02:19.430 --> 00:02:20.682 align:center
No, no, no. That's okay.

00:02:20.765 --> 00:02:23.226 align:center
-Oui. She loves it.
-Put it in my mouth, baby.

00:02:23.309 --> 00:02:25.520 align:center
-In her mouth?
-Oui. Put it in her mouth.

00:02:25.603 --> 00:02:26.980 align:center
It's so special for her.

00:02:27.063 --> 00:02:28.940 align:center
Climb up here and put it in my mouth.

00:02:29.899 --> 00:02:32.819 align:center
Can I put it in your mouth instead?

00:02:32.902 --> 00:02:34.654 align:center
Do her first.

00:02:34.737 --> 00:02:35.905 align:center
Then, oui.

00:02:35.989 --> 00:02:39.284 align:center
-I'm much better at oral…
-Oh, my God.

00:02:39.367 --> 00:02:40.785 align:center
…than Kati.

00:02:40.869 --> 00:02:42.579 align:center
-I love it in my mouth.
-Fuck.

00:02:42.662 --> 00:02:45.415 align:center
Feeling it change in my mouth.

00:02:45.498 --> 00:02:46.374 align:center
It's exciting.

00:02:47.709 --> 00:02:49.669 align:center
Mount me, big boy.

00:02:49.752 --> 00:02:51.337 align:center
Step over the back.

00:02:52.005 --> 00:02:54.299 align:center
And lower yourself into my mouth.

00:02:55.967 --> 00:02:57.552 align:center
-In the mouth.
-Come in my mouth.

00:02:57.635 --> 00:03:00.388 align:center
Oui, oui, Juju. You got this.

00:03:07.645 --> 00:03:08.897 align:center
Little, little.

00:03:12.150 --> 00:03:14.027 align:center
Oh, fuck. What am I doing?

00:03:14.110 --> 00:03:15.570 align:center
I can't wait for my turn.

00:03:15.653 --> 00:03:16.738 align:center
Me too.

00:03:16.821 --> 00:03:18.615 align:center
He's growing in my mouth.

00:03:19.824 --> 00:03:20.950 align:center
Okay. Okay.

00:03:21.034 --> 00:03:22.118 align:center
I'm ready, I guess.

00:03:22.202 --> 00:03:24.537 align:center
-Okay.
-Don't come in my mouth.

00:03:25.246 --> 00:03:27.832 align:center
-Save it for my ass.
-Jesus.

00:03:27.916 --> 00:03:29.959 align:center
You're so tasty.

00:03:31.169 --> 00:03:33.296 align:center
-Fuck me.
-Oh, God!

00:03:34.005 --> 00:03:36.883 align:center
Oh, yes. Not just the head.

00:03:36.966 --> 00:03:38.635 align:center
All the way.

00:03:40.220 --> 00:03:42.889 align:center
God!

00:03:42.972 --> 00:03:44.849 align:center
Oh, that feels good.

00:03:45.391 --> 00:03:46.351 align:center
Juju!

00:03:46.434 --> 00:03:47.977 align:center
Fuck me harder.

00:03:50.188 --> 00:03:51.689 align:center
Yeah, Juju, like that.

00:03:51.773 --> 00:03:53.650 align:center
-Fuck me, you pussy.
-Oh, my God.

00:03:53.733 --> 00:03:54.817 align:center
Oh, my God!

00:03:54.901 --> 00:03:56.402 align:center
Please stop talking.

00:03:56.486 --> 00:03:59.155 align:center
No, you stop talking and fuck me!

00:03:59.238 --> 00:04:01.074 align:center
-She loves it.
-Good.

00:04:01.157 --> 00:04:03.159 align:center
She hasn't made love in years.

00:04:03.243 --> 00:04:05.203 align:center
Ohh, I'm so lucky.

00:04:05.995 --> 00:04:06.829 align:center
Take me.

00:04:06.913 --> 00:04:08.456 align:center
I can't wait for you.

00:04:08.539 --> 00:04:10.917 align:center
Oui. Ma soeur.

00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:13.044 align:center
-Are you going to come?
-No. God, no.

00:04:13.920 --> 00:04:14.921 align:center
Wait.

00:04:15.672 --> 00:04:17.131 align:center
I'm going to come.

00:04:17.215 --> 00:04:18.758 align:center
-Oh, fuck!
-Oui!

00:04:18.841 --> 00:04:20.176 align:center
You go, girl!

00:04:42.907 --> 00:04:43.992 align:center
Is she okay?

00:04:44.075 --> 00:04:46.244 align:center
Oui. Juju, you did it.

00:04:49.831 --> 00:04:51.958 align:center
Yeah, I guess I did.

00:04:52.041 --> 00:04:53.251 align:center
She's so happy.

00:04:53.334 --> 00:04:54.794 align:center
That's nice.

00:04:55.378 --> 00:04:56.754 align:center
Uh…

00:04:56.838 --> 00:04:57.839 align:center
Can we go now?

00:04:58.715 --> 00:04:59.674 align:center
Oui.

00:04:59.757 --> 00:05:00.675 align:center
Oh, my God.

00:05:07.140 --> 00:05:08.224 align:center
Ignore her.

00:05:08.725 --> 00:05:09.726 align:center
Gladly.

00:05:15.982 --> 00:05:17.025 align:center
Oui…

00:05:17.942 --> 00:05:19.027 align:center
Fuck me harder!

00:05:24.657 --> 00:05:26.701 align:center
Oui, that's it! That's it!

00:05:26.784 --> 00:05:27.827 align:center
Good boy.

00:05:28.911 --> 00:05:29.912 align:center
Hey!

00:05:31.414 --> 00:05:32.623 align:center
Suck my big toe.

00:05:32.707 --> 00:05:34.083 align:center
Your big toe?

00:05:34.167 --> 00:05:35.960 align:center
-Yes.
-Okay.

00:05:36.044 --> 00:05:37.045 align:center
Okay.

00:05:39.756 --> 00:05:41.466 align:center
Ah, that's it!

00:05:42.759 --> 00:05:43.968 align:center
Just like that.

00:05:46.596 --> 00:05:49.682 align:center
Hey, that's my toe, baby!

00:05:49.766 --> 00:05:51.309 align:center
Oh, fuck! What…

00:05:53.478 --> 00:05:55.980 align:center
You're not a nice person.
Nobody in this town is!

00:05:56.064 --> 00:05:57.273 align:center
Where are you going?

00:05:57.357 --> 00:06:00.068 align:center
Come back here, Donkey Dick!

00:06:05.365 --> 00:06:06.949 align:center
Love.

00:06:07.033 --> 00:06:08.451 align:center
It fucking sucks.

00:06:11.287 --> 00:06:13.414 align:center
But it takes a little while to learn that.

00:06:15.375 --> 00:06:17.085 align:center
Ah, young love.

00:06:17.794 --> 00:06:19.796 align:center
Enjoy your first dry tug, young man.

00:06:20.880 --> 00:06:21.714 align:center
Hm?

00:06:21.798 --> 00:06:23.299 align:center
You can't choose who you love,

00:06:23.383 --> 00:06:25.885 align:center
and you definitely can't choose
who loves you.

00:06:27.428 --> 00:06:29.389 align:center
Wonder if they're together again.

00:06:30.098 --> 00:06:31.390 align:center
They're not.

00:06:31.474 --> 00:06:32.475 align:center
He's in hell.

00:06:33.851 --> 00:06:35.895 align:center
I love stories about love.

00:06:35.978 --> 00:06:39.023 align:center
And that's because I have a heart
twice the size of a normal person.

00:06:39.107 --> 00:06:42.527 align:center
It's called cardiomegaly,
and it very well might kill me.

00:06:46.989 --> 00:06:48.241 align:center
I can't wait.

00:06:52.578 --> 00:06:53.913 align:center
I love you.

00:06:53.996 --> 00:06:55.331 align:center
I love you so much.

00:06:55.998 --> 00:06:58.042 align:center
Are you feeling okay?

00:06:58.126 --> 00:06:58.960 align:center
Yeah.

00:06:59.043 --> 00:07:00.920 align:center
The meds are working really well.

00:07:01.003 --> 00:07:02.964 align:center
-Good, good.
-The kids are coming later?

00:07:03.047 --> 00:07:05.174 align:center
-They're coming, yeah.
-Okay. Good.

00:07:05.716 --> 00:07:07.844 align:center
Sarah, Carl.

00:07:08.553 --> 00:07:11.389 align:center
This is Lilly Weiland.
She's from the Last Wish group.

00:07:12.765 --> 00:07:14.225 align:center
I'll leave you to it.

00:07:15.643 --> 00:07:16.602 align:center
You must be Sarah.

00:07:16.686 --> 00:07:17.937 align:center
Hi.

00:07:18.020 --> 00:07:19.856 align:center
Hi. And you are?

00:07:19.939 --> 00:07:22.608 align:center
Oh, I'm Carl. I'm her husband.

00:07:23.317 --> 00:07:25.027 align:center
What's the Last Wish group?

00:07:25.111 --> 00:07:29.532 align:center
Well, uh, we do our very best
to deliver wishes.

00:07:30.116 --> 00:07:33.494 align:center
Bucket list experiences
for people like Sarah.

00:07:33.578 --> 00:07:36.664 align:center
Oh, my God, that's so awesome.

00:07:36.747 --> 00:07:39.459 align:center
You're still full of surprises.

00:07:40.084 --> 00:07:41.961 align:center
Oh, God, you two are so cute.

00:07:42.044 --> 00:07:44.338 align:center
Oh, well, I hit the jackpot with this one.

00:07:44.422 --> 00:07:46.299 align:center
He's the Popeye to my Olive Oyl.

00:07:46.382 --> 00:07:47.425 align:center
-Right?
-Yeah.

00:07:51.512 --> 00:07:52.930 align:center
I'm sorry.

00:07:53.014 --> 00:07:55.391 align:center
What's your wish, honey?

00:07:55.474 --> 00:08:00.062 align:center
Well, Sarah did not make it easy on me,
but I love a challenge.

00:08:00.146 --> 00:08:02.190 align:center
It's Sergei, isn't it?

00:08:02.773 --> 00:08:03.983 align:center
The violinist?

00:08:04.066 --> 00:08:06.277 align:center
She wanted to see the symphony
one last time.

00:08:06.360 --> 00:08:08.404 align:center
It's not that but…

00:08:08.488 --> 00:08:11.532 align:center
Is it Chip and Joanna Gaines from HGTV?

00:08:12.241 --> 00:08:14.327 align:center
Maybe Maroon 5 Adam Levine.

00:08:26.255 --> 00:08:27.840 align:center
Wait, it's…

00:08:27.924 --> 00:08:30.343 align:center
Barry the Sandwich Guy on TV.

00:08:30.426 --> 00:08:31.594 align:center
How are you doing, bud?

00:08:32.803 --> 00:08:35.306 align:center
Um, so your last wish is a Hoagie?

00:08:36.057 --> 00:08:38.267 align:center
Well, that and other things.

00:08:38.351 --> 00:08:41.437 align:center
Her wish includes a turkey
and provolone club

00:08:41.520 --> 00:08:43.648 align:center
-from the Hoagie Hut.
-Bestseller.

00:08:43.731 --> 00:08:46.275 align:center
A bag of sea salt potato chips.

00:08:46.359 --> 00:08:47.610 align:center
As requested.

00:08:47.693 --> 00:08:49.820 align:center
And for Barry,

00:08:49.904 --> 00:08:51.906 align:center
the manager of Hoagie Hut…

00:08:51.989 --> 00:08:52.907 align:center
Owner-operator.

00:08:53.658 --> 00:08:56.327 align:center
Owner-operator to…

00:08:56.869 --> 00:08:59.580 align:center
"Fuck every hole
and fill me with this big boy jizz.

00:08:59.664 --> 00:09:02.500 align:center
I want big boy jizz,
not little bitch boy jizz

00:09:02.583 --> 00:09:06.212 align:center
to make me feel like a real woman,
for once in my life."

00:09:06.295 --> 00:09:08.631 align:center
Wait, wait, wait. What is this?

00:09:08.714 --> 00:09:10.800 align:center
Is this some sort of prank or something?

00:09:10.883 --> 00:09:12.885 align:center
No, it's the real deal, pal.

00:09:12.969 --> 00:09:14.095 align:center
What's big-boy jizz?

00:09:14.178 --> 00:09:16.138 align:center
That's the only kind I carry.

00:09:17.014 --> 00:09:18.057 align:center
Hold on.

00:09:18.140 --> 00:09:20.476 align:center
I'm sorry. Is there gonna be a problem?

00:09:20.560 --> 00:09:23.980 align:center
-Actually, I'm sorry. There is a problem.
-Yeah, there's a problem.

00:09:24.063 --> 00:09:27.149 align:center
I think you missed the part about him
dragging his nuts across my face.

00:09:27.233 --> 00:09:28.401 align:center
What?

00:09:28.484 --> 00:09:32.071 align:center
Oh, God, I'm so sorry,
It continued on to the next page.

00:09:32.154 --> 00:09:34.615 align:center
"I want him to drag his nuts
across my face…"

00:09:34.699 --> 00:09:36.409 align:center
-There it is.
-"…fold me in half

00:09:36.492 --> 00:09:37.702 align:center
and make me his cum pig.

00:09:37.785 --> 00:09:40.204 align:center
Shove my head in a trash can
to snap my back…"

00:09:40.288 --> 00:09:41.497 align:center
"Cum pig"?

00:09:41.581 --> 00:09:44.375 align:center
"…and to fill me with this girthy meat."

00:09:44.458 --> 00:09:48.546 align:center
Wait a second. Are you cheating on me
with Barry from Hoagie Hut?

00:09:49.338 --> 00:09:50.673 align:center
-Whoa. No.
-No!

00:09:50.756 --> 00:09:54.343 align:center
The guy we make fun of his billboards.
He karate-chops his sandwiches. That guy?

00:09:54.427 --> 00:09:56.554 align:center
Of course not. Of course not.

00:09:56.637 --> 00:09:57.930 align:center
No, no, no, no.

00:09:58.014 --> 00:09:59.724 align:center
This is just a fantasy.

00:09:59.807 --> 00:10:01.309 align:center
Fantasies happen in your mind.

00:10:01.392 --> 00:10:03.227 align:center
This is happening right now in this room.

00:10:03.311 --> 00:10:04.729 align:center
No, it's like…

00:10:04.812 --> 00:10:07.648 align:center
It's like last year
when you went to the Masters.

00:10:08.316 --> 00:10:11.402 align:center
This is not that at all! That was golf.

00:10:12.028 --> 00:10:13.613 align:center
This is my golf.

00:10:15.489 --> 00:10:17.366 align:center
-You both like golf.
-Shut up, Barry.

00:10:17.450 --> 00:10:19.452 align:center
All right, Carl,
let's just give them some space.

00:10:19.535 --> 00:10:20.494 align:center
Excuse me, um…

00:10:20.578 --> 00:10:24.123 align:center
So my wife isn't mentally fit
to make this decision, right?

00:10:24.206 --> 00:10:26.626 align:center
Oh. This one is still as sharp as a tack.

00:10:29.837 --> 00:10:32.089 align:center
Do not spit on my dying wife, man.

00:10:32.173 --> 00:10:34.675 align:center
-Piece of shit.
-All right, let me go talk to him.

00:10:34.759 --> 00:10:36.886 align:center
You spit on her, man.

00:10:36.969 --> 00:10:39.472 align:center
Look, I don't know if I'm going crazy,

00:10:39.555 --> 00:10:41.766 align:center
but it feels like
you don't want me to fuck your wife.

00:10:41.849 --> 00:10:42.892 align:center
That's correct.

00:10:42.975 --> 00:10:44.393 align:center
Shit.

00:10:44.477 --> 00:10:46.354 align:center
I've been holding this load for a week.

00:10:46.937 --> 00:10:49.315 align:center
-I don't care.
-I lapped it up, Daddy!

00:10:49.398 --> 00:10:50.232 align:center
Good girl.

00:10:51.108 --> 00:10:52.360 align:center
You know, the thing is, man,

00:10:52.443 --> 00:10:54.779 align:center
I think you're just kind of
looking at the situation wrong.

00:10:54.862 --> 00:10:57.156 align:center
It's about perspective.
You know what you are?

00:10:57.239 --> 00:10:58.866 align:center
-What?
-A ham and cheese sandwich.

00:10:58.949 --> 00:11:02.203 align:center
They're good. It's good bread,
it's good ham, it's good cheese.

00:11:02.286 --> 00:11:04.872 align:center
But you can get it anywhere, any day.

00:11:04.955 --> 00:11:06.290 align:center
And I'm over here.

00:11:06.374 --> 00:11:09.085 align:center
I'm like imported specialty meats.

00:11:09.168 --> 00:11:12.046 align:center
Prosciuttos, and jamón serranos,

00:11:12.129 --> 00:11:14.131 align:center
some Vietnamese pork belly,

00:11:14.215 --> 00:11:16.175 align:center
bok choy, kare-kare.

00:11:16.258 --> 00:11:17.635 align:center
I'm like a bánh mì.

00:11:17.718 --> 00:11:20.179 align:center
You see that and you go,
"This is fucking crazy."

00:11:21.055 --> 00:11:22.056 align:center
You get it?

00:11:23.516 --> 00:11:24.600 align:center
He gets it.

00:11:24.684 --> 00:11:27.645 align:center
All right. If I start now,
I can come four times in an hour.

00:11:27.728 --> 00:11:30.398 align:center
-Oh.
-Ah, the first one is always quick.

00:11:30.481 --> 00:11:31.357 align:center
I don't know why.

00:11:32.525 --> 00:11:33.442 align:center
No.

00:11:33.526 --> 00:11:35.486 align:center
No, no, no. Nope!

00:11:35.569 --> 00:11:36.987 align:center
You can't do this.

00:11:37.071 --> 00:11:38.072 align:center
You cannot do this!

00:11:38.155 --> 00:11:40.282 align:center
-I already took the pill.
-I'm sorry.

00:11:40.366 --> 00:11:42.493 align:center
Did I just hear someone deny a last wish?

00:11:43.077 --> 00:11:44.078 align:center
Him.

00:11:44.161 --> 00:11:48.791 align:center
In my 35 years of medicine,
I've never heard someone deny a last wish.

00:11:48.874 --> 00:11:50.835 align:center
You're being incredibly selfish, Carl.

00:11:50.918 --> 00:11:52.128 align:center
I'm selfish?

00:11:53.295 --> 00:11:55.172 align:center
Am I losing my fucking mind?

00:11:55.256 --> 00:11:57.925 align:center
You know, we can certainly
have you evaluated

00:11:58.008 --> 00:11:59.510 align:center
if you're feeling unwell.

00:11:59.593 --> 00:12:00.928 align:center
That's a good idea, Doc.

00:12:11.939 --> 00:12:14.233 align:center
-That won't be necessary.
-Good.

00:12:14.942 --> 00:12:16.527 align:center
-Okay.
-All right, Carl.

00:12:16.610 --> 00:12:18.195 align:center
-Let's get you out of here.
-Come on.

00:12:18.279 --> 00:12:19.905 align:center
You're not gonna wanna see this.

00:12:24.577 --> 00:12:26.287 align:center
I can't wait for you to try this.

00:12:26.370 --> 00:12:27.997 align:center
I'm using a new mayo.

00:12:28.539 --> 00:12:29.707 align:center
Barry?

00:12:31.167 --> 00:12:32.835 align:center
Can you please use a condom?

00:12:47.933 --> 00:12:48.934 align:center
No.

00:12:56.984 --> 00:12:58.277 align:center
Good evening.

00:12:58.360 --> 00:12:59.820 align:center
This is your captain speaking.

00:12:59.904 --> 00:13:01.572 align:center
We're at cruising altitude.

00:13:01.655 --> 00:13:03.699 align:center
While you sleep, I'll pet the co-pilot.

00:13:05.034 --> 00:13:06.035 align:center
Have a good flight.

00:13:18.964 --> 00:13:20.090 align:center
In love?

00:13:21.217 --> 00:13:22.301 align:center
Excuse me?

00:13:22.384 --> 00:13:24.261 align:center
You in love?

00:13:25.262 --> 00:13:26.847 align:center
Oh, no, it's for my wife.

00:13:26.931 --> 00:13:28.390 align:center
You don't love your wife?

00:13:28.474 --> 00:13:30.142 align:center
Sorry.

00:13:30.226 --> 00:13:31.936 align:center
I meant yes, I love my wife.

00:13:32.770 --> 00:13:34.146 align:center
Just…

00:13:34.230 --> 00:13:37.191 align:center
I'm going home after being away
for a while. That's all.

00:13:43.239 --> 00:13:44.114 align:center
We good?

00:13:44.198 --> 00:13:45.741 align:center
I feel like I know you.

00:13:46.742 --> 00:13:48.202 align:center
Nah, you don't.

00:13:48.869 --> 00:13:50.955 align:center
Wait. Are you that comedian?

00:13:51.038 --> 00:13:52.039 align:center
No.

00:13:52.122 --> 00:13:53.165 align:center
Bikes!

00:13:53.249 --> 00:13:55.000 align:center
Right! Tom Segura.

00:13:55.084 --> 00:13:56.418 align:center
You're funny, man.

00:13:56.502 --> 00:13:59.421 align:center
-Bikes! Bikes!
-Okay. Dude.

00:13:59.505 --> 00:14:00.422 align:center
-Sir? Sir.
-Yeah.

00:14:00.506 --> 00:14:02.341 align:center
I'm going to need you
to keep your voice down.

00:14:02.424 --> 00:14:03.717 align:center
Me?

00:14:03.801 --> 00:14:05.469 align:center
Thank you for your cooperation.

00:14:07.388 --> 00:14:11.392 align:center
-I always yell that. Bikes!
-Okay, thank you. Appreciate it, man.

00:14:11.475 --> 00:14:13.269 align:center
What was that other bit you had again?

00:14:14.436 --> 00:14:15.312 align:center
I don't know.

00:14:15.396 --> 00:14:18.691 align:center
Oh, yeah, it's that
calling someone a midget

00:14:18.774 --> 00:14:20.860 align:center
isn't as bad as calling someone a.

00:14:20.943 --> 00:14:22.903 align:center
Jesus Christ, dude!

00:14:22.987 --> 00:14:25.281 align:center
-You can't say that.
-What?.

00:14:25.364 --> 00:14:27.283 align:center
-You shouldn't say that word.
-But you did.

00:14:27.366 --> 00:14:30.661 align:center
-You said that in your act.
-It was a joke from a long time ago, okay?

00:14:30.744 --> 00:14:32.413 align:center
Such a funny joke.

00:14:32.496 --> 00:14:35.624 align:center
The joke was about equating words
that aren't equal.

00:14:35.708 --> 00:14:37.334 align:center
Somebody said that they were,

00:14:37.418 --> 00:14:39.670 align:center
and all I said
was that saying the "M" word

00:14:39.753 --> 00:14:41.839 align:center
was not the same as saying the "N" word.

00:14:42.423 --> 00:14:44.341 align:center
But I don't say either in my real life,

00:14:44.425 --> 00:14:47.636 align:center
and you're saying both
right now very loudly, I might add.

00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:50.806 align:center
The captain has turned on
the seatbelt sign.

00:14:50.890 --> 00:14:52.349 align:center
We're gonna have a few bumps.

00:14:52.433 --> 00:14:53.976 align:center
So let me get this straight.

00:14:54.059 --> 00:14:58.022 align:center
Your argument is saying, "midget" isn't

00:14:58.105 --> 00:15:01.317 align:center
as hurtful as saying.

00:15:01.400 --> 00:15:02.901 align:center
Christ, dude!

00:15:04.111 --> 00:15:04.945 align:center
Yes, sir?

00:15:05.029 --> 00:15:07.197 align:center
That man is very inappropriate.

00:15:07.281 --> 00:15:09.450 align:center
-He also hates his wife.
-No, I don't hate my wife.

00:15:09.533 --> 00:15:11.785 align:center
Sir, please do not make me ask you again.

00:15:13.746 --> 00:15:16.707 align:center
You really should not say that word.

00:15:17.750 --> 00:15:19.084 align:center
I'm sorry, which word?

00:15:19.168 --> 00:15:20.753 align:center
You know which one's off limits.

00:15:20.836 --> 00:15:25.215 align:center
-I do not know. I say a lot of words.
-We're talking about two fun words

00:15:25.299 --> 00:15:28.010 align:center
that you get to play with one
and you don't get to touch the other.

00:15:28.093 --> 00:15:29.595 align:center
What about me, Tommy?

00:15:29.678 --> 00:15:31.764 align:center
What words am I allowed to say?

00:15:36.226 --> 00:15:37.478 align:center
You can say both.

00:15:37.561 --> 00:15:38.520 align:center
Both what?

00:15:38.604 --> 00:15:39.438 align:center
Both words.

00:15:40.898 --> 00:15:43.776 align:center
Both words that we were…
He was saying. Out loud.

00:15:43.859 --> 00:15:45.110 align:center
Tell me what word.

00:15:45.194 --> 00:15:46.570 align:center
I can't.

00:15:46.654 --> 00:15:47.821 align:center
Why?

00:15:47.905 --> 00:15:49.865 align:center
'Cause… 'cause you're…

00:15:49.949 --> 00:15:50.783 align:center
I'm what?

00:15:50.866 --> 00:15:52.201 align:center
You're both of the…

00:15:53.369 --> 00:15:56.121 align:center
You fit into the different boxes.

00:15:56.205 --> 00:15:57.665 align:center
He said I could fit into boxes now.

00:15:57.748 --> 00:15:59.333 align:center
Fitting in a box? We can fit in a box?

00:15:59.416 --> 00:16:01.835 align:center
I'm calling it flying first class.
This what I get--

00:16:01.919 --> 00:16:04.004 align:center
-I need an able-bodied volunteer.
-Right here.

00:16:04.088 --> 00:16:06.173 align:center
So we're not able-bodied?
Is that what you're saying?

00:16:06.256 --> 00:16:08.842 align:center
-I'm just trying to help.
-Come with me, please.

00:16:08.926 --> 00:16:10.469 align:center
-You guys are nuts.
-You're nuts, man.

00:16:10.552 --> 00:16:12.012 align:center
You saved my ass. Those guys--

00:16:12.096 --> 00:16:13.305 align:center
Do you speak Spanish?

00:16:13.389 --> 00:16:14.348 align:center
Yeah. Fluently.

00:16:14.431 --> 00:16:16.475 align:center
-The pilots are dead.
-What?

00:16:20.145 --> 00:16:21.188 align:center
What the fuck?

00:16:21.271 --> 00:16:22.606 align:center
How did this happen?

00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:25.984 align:center
They were doing their pilot sex shit,
and it got out of hand.

00:16:26.068 --> 00:16:27.611 align:center
Pilot sex shit?

00:16:27.695 --> 00:16:29.571 align:center
All pilots have sex with each other.

00:16:30.322 --> 00:16:32.366 align:center
Why do you think Sully hit those birds?

00:16:32.449 --> 00:16:34.368 align:center
They left that part out of the movie.

00:16:34.451 --> 00:16:36.578 align:center
Yeah. Okay, we need you to land the plane.

00:16:36.662 --> 00:16:37.496 align:center
What?
Okay, we need you to land the plane.