WEBVTT

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Mmm! Well, would you look at that?

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You know, I wasn't sure
if you were XXXL or XXXXL.

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Please, have a seat.

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Sit down.

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This is nice, isn't it?

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Just a nice normal dinner.

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Now… I'm sure you're wondering

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why I invited you into my beautiful home.

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Well, I have not been spoken to
like that in a long time.

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And if I'm being honest…
I was a little ticked off.

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And then I got a big old boner.

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Now I'm turned around worse
than a woodpecker in a lumberyard.

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So I'd like to hear some more.

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Byung Sung, take a walk.

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You're giving her the heebie-jeebies.

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It's all right.

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I'm a little racist too.

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Now, tell me what's on your mind.

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Why are you doing this?

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Jesus Christ.
It's pretty straightforward, Shelly.

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I'm a global country superstar
who's lost his mojo.

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I decided to kidnap my fans and force them
to live in a poor people town,

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make them share
their deepest, darkest traumas

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so I could put it in the hit songs.

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-How the fuck do you not get that?
-Oh, no, I get it.

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Oh, yeah, I get it.

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But it's not working anymore, is it?

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How do you know that?

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I've been an honorary hen hound
since I was eight years old.

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You know, you kind of
remind me of an oyster.

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What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

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I don't live in the ocean.

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No, an oyster.
It has a shell to protect it.

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I think you had a lot of people around you
who are too scared to tell you the truth.

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Sometimes a grain of sand
gets caught into an oyster

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and it's uncomfortable and harsh.

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But then sometimes that oyster takes
that sand, and it makes something magical.

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A sandcastle.

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A pearl.

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Wow. I like that.

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So you're saying…

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you're like my grain of sand.

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I could be.

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You know, um,
oysters are like an aphrodisiac.

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Gets you all wet and horny.

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-Mmm-hmm.
-I eat them all day.

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You don't need a fake town with poor
people to exploit them for their trauma.

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-Oh, I don't?
-Mmm-mmm.

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I think that you need…

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your own trauma.

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What?

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Fuck! Ow! Fuck!

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Byung Sung! Byung Sung,
I've been penetrated!

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Shoot her in the face!
Don't shoot her tits.

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Byung Sung…

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Please…

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don't shoot.

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Do you understand?

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I ain't gonna hurt ya.

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You speak fucking English?

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I do.

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He makes us speak Korean.

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Nobody really knows why.

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I guess it's just part of the gig.

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-My real name's Jeff.
-That's insane.

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Yeah, it's a doozy, isn't it?

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I'm just a theater actor.
All the guards are.

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Rodrigo was in Hamilton.

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There's a small town
about ten miles that way.

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Head there now. Go.

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Why are you helping me?

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Byung Sung's ruthless.

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But Jeff ain't. Go.

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Go now!

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Thank you.

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Oh, my God.

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Darling, what the hell are you doing
all the way out here?

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-Thank God.
-All right. It's okay.

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It's okay.

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He kidnaps fans, he tortures them.

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And then he buries the bodies.

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Good God.

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You're sure it was the Rex Henley?

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Oh.

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Yes, I'm pretty fucking sure.

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Okay, I believe you.

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All right. Now, the sheriff
is coming in right now,

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and we're gonna do everything
we can to make this right.

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-Thank you.
-All right?

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It's over.

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Hey, speak of the devil.

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Sheriff.

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How's the wife, Chris?

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Pregnant again.

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Should learn to pull out,
you little rascal.

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No fucking way.

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-I'll take it from here.
-All right.

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Let's go, boys. He's got work to do.

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Oh, no. Sit down, darling.

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Found her! Come quickly!

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It's all right.

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I ain't mad at you. I like you.

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I need you.

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Turns out, you were right
about everything.

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I don't need 200 enslaved prisoners.

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I just need one abusive relationship.

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You're my trauma.

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And I promise you, when I get home,
I'mma dig me a big old hole

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and mow all those people down
into one mass grave.

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Plus, we're gonna save
a fortune on shrimp.

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You don't have to wash your hands so much.
That's all because of you.

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You and I are not in a relationship.

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Oh, yes, we are.

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You came into my life,
you said a bunch of mean words,

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and then you left when I needed you most.

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But you got me feeling alive.

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Brains firing. I'm all bricked up.

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You're gonna stick around
and help me write one more hit song.

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I'm thinking a ballad.

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Something about love and loss,
about letting go.

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Yeah, letting go.

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-And then maybe you can let me go.
-Absolutely not.

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Because clearly, a breakup is not enough.

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I need my heart ripped out, Shelly.

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I just need to lose one person
I feel a real connection to.

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It's not gonna work.

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Why not?

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Because I'm just some girl
that you met a day ago.

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We don't even have a history.

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There's no real loss at the end of this.

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I know you have someone in your life.

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Someone who matters.
Someone who you loved.

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And…

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that's the person.

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That's the person that can inspire you
to write that hit song.

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You…

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are fucking brilliant.

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There is someone…

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Oh, no.

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Byung Sung!

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Oh, no, no, no! Byung Sung!
Oh, God, my brother.

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Why, God? Why would you take him from me?

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Oh, shit!

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I feel all these emotions.

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It worked, buddy.

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I feel it.

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I feel I miss you already.

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Oh, God. Shelly, it's working.

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Look, there's real tears
coming out of my eyes.

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I'm traumatized.

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This was my best friend. Oh, shit!

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Oh! I get to use the hankie
that you gave me.

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Look, it was made in Korea.

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I love you, my sweet Korean brother.

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Rex Henley has a new number one album out.

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Well, I guess officially, y'all,
we got a hit album.

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Shockingly, this album
is entirely in Korean.

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You've heard of K-Pop?

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This is a Korean country.
Would it be K-Cunt?

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Whatever it's called, I love it.

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Love you, Byung Sung.

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Family.

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Love them or hate them.

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You're stuck with them.

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Unless you're the Menendez brothers.

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They figured that shit out.

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Some families are happy,
others are dysfunctional.

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Some are even famous.

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Like the Frankels.

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Smile, everybody.

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Well, the Frankels are only famous
in my town because there was a rumor

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the dad got busted banging the family dog.

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-What the fuck?
-I knew it.

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-I knew it.
-You knew what?

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It was me. I started the rumor.

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So gather your families on the couch
and watch these uplifting tales.

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Or don't.

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I really don't care.
I'm just here to get away from my family.

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You're sick.

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And that's why
we named our daughter Daisy.

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Aww!

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We love you, Grandma.

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-You came!
-Yes.

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Aren't they just so wonderful?

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What is this?

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It's what Stevie and your dad
have been working on.

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-What?
-Next up, we have Stevie Segura

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telling a story of his grandfather, Wes.

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-My dad's here?
-Yeah.

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And joining Stevie
are several of his classmates.

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Take it away, Stevie Segura.

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This is gonna be bad.

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No, it'll be sweet.

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My dad doesn't do sweet.

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Welcome to the suck, homos.

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Here it is.

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Jesus Christ!

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When I asked for more marines,
I meant ones that are ready to hump.

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You sacks of shit don't look like
you can play T-ball.

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-Wow.
-Oh, my God.

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Gutierrez…

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What the hell
have you been eating, Gutierrez?

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If your fat ass holds us up
for even one second,

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I'm sending your ass back to Okinawa

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faster than you can say,
"Chuba me chimichurri."

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Sir, yes, sir.

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Fat ass.

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Steinberg!

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You're the first of your kind
in my platoon, Steinberg.

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-You got a problem with that?
-Sir, no, sir.

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Fall back and keep that nose tucked in
before it gets caught in a tripwire.

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That's my boy!

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You know we have
to transfer schools, right?

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Of course.

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Small, Reggie, put your reefer out
and turn off your Motown boogie beats!

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What the hell were you two clowns doing?

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Oh, you know, Lieutenant,
just getting a little downtime.

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Are you two ever not relaxing?

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-I'm gonna go.
-Fuck. No!

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-We're in this together.
-It's part of our culture, sir.

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We love to dance or just sit around.

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Lazy.

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Thank you for guiding us
to be more than just

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a couple of Division-3 basketball players

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who had no real shot at the pros.

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-You fellows…
-I'm sorry!

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…tell Tyrone here how we operate.

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There's no shootin' Black talk
and no jive talk.

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We're not like this. I swear.

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We're here to do one thing
and one thing only.

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Kill those two-faced rice-slopping
commie bastards.

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'Oorah!

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Goddamn gooks.

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-How did he learn all this stuff?
-By hanging out with my dad.

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Oh, it's a puppy.

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Oh, my God.

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It's the puppy story.

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Nobody wants to blow up a puppy,
but I'll do anything to protect my men.

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I will.

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That puppy will walk into
that village over there

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and get the job done for us.

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Oh, shit.

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Is that a foot?

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That's a nice touch.

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There's no better feeling
than killing the enemy.

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-Nice.
-Oh, my God.

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War is ugly, but necessary to ensure
a better world for our children.

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There you go. There you go.

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Take my own son, Tom.

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-Tommy, stand up.
-No.

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Get your ass up.

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Tom has the freedom
to do whatever he wants,

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but my men fought and died

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so he could tell jokes,
hang out with his Jew buddies

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and prance around like some Gypsy broad.

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Did you know my son needs to inject
testosterone into his body?

14:22.403 --> 14:26.282
What kind of man needs to inject
testosterone into his body?

14:26.365 --> 14:31.287
I'm 78. I had no problem
putting lead into my pencil.

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No needles, no pills.

14:33.581 --> 14:34.832
Thank you.

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Attaboy. Attaboy!

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-Jesus Christ.
-I know. That was very…

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-Thank you…
-Bad.

14:48.721 --> 14:52.391
…Stevie, and, uh, of course, Wes,

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for that interesting lesson in history.

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Uh…

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Up next, we have Luis Ochoa
and the story of his grandfather, Hector.

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-Holy shit.
-Excuse us.

15:05.613 --> 15:10.451
South Beach, Miami, 1991,
was all about cocaine.

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And that's because of… me.

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-I think I wanna see this.
-Yeah, me too.

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Come and get some!

15:21.503 --> 15:22.713
Our kid's not that bad.

15:22.796 --> 15:25.799
No way. That's illegal. We're just racist.

15:25.883 --> 15:28.302
Let's go.

15:29.136 --> 15:30.179
Don't touch it.

15:30.262 --> 15:33.891
Disgusting. That's why
we're always out of peanut butter.

15:33.974 --> 15:35.476
Okay.

15:36.352 --> 15:38.979
I understand.

15:39.063 --> 15:41.190
All right. Goodbye, Genevieve.

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I love you.

15:43.817 --> 15:44.985
I said, "I love you."

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Feelings change?

15:49.073 --> 15:50.574
Yeah, I'm hungry.

15:50.658 --> 15:51.909
That's my feeling.

15:55.287 --> 15:57.831
Oh. Sir, you are back.

15:57.915 --> 16:00.834
Has your lady, uh, she arrived?

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Uh, dinner solo--

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Please. No.In English, sir.

16:05.673 --> 16:07.549
Your… Your French is very…

16:08.425 --> 16:09.551
sad to me.

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She will not be joining me this evening.

16:14.139 --> 16:17.977
The chef has already begun to prepare
the lamb broth dinner for two.

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-So unfortunately--
-It's fine. I'll pay for it.

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Very good, sir.

16:22.523 --> 16:23.774
Plus, this is better.

16:23.857 --> 16:25.859
Now you very much enjoy more food.

16:27.528 --> 16:28.737
Because you're fat.

16:29.571 --> 16:30.406
Thank you.

16:36.620 --> 16:37.830
Oh, I didn't order that.

16:47.172 --> 16:51.385
I moved to fucking Gordes!
Gordes, France. For her!

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Don't grieve, for there are,
what do they say?

16:57.141 --> 16:59.435
"Plenty of fishes in the sea, oui"?

16:59.518 --> 17:02.104
You know, she said
my teeth were fucked up.

17:02.187 --> 17:05.315
She made me get adult braces
and I feel stupid.

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Would you like to know
a simple secret to life?

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Sure.

17:15.993 --> 17:21.415
Be open to the right opportunity
when she presents herself.

17:25.294 --> 17:26.670
Merci beaucoup.

17:26.754 --> 17:29.089
Please. Don't speak French.

17:29.173 --> 17:31.008
I'm sorry. I'm really fucking drunk.

17:31.091 --> 17:32.176
Well, yeah.

17:32.259 --> 17:34.386
Welcome to France, eh? Yeah.

17:34.470 --> 17:36.346
You have to hold your liquor, right?

17:36.430 --> 17:39.349
You know, I lost 300 lb.

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Bonjour. This is Genevieve.

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Leave a message.

17:45.272 --> 17:47.524
I can't fucking drive.

17:47.608 --> 17:50.027
Hey, Genevieve. This is Joe.

17:50.110 --> 17:51.612
I'm still in Gordes.

17:52.279 --> 17:57.242
I moved here to be with you,
if you recall, and guess what?

17:57.326 --> 17:58.702
I'm not sorry.

17:58.786 --> 18:00.245
I met a guy.

18:00.329 --> 18:01.455
Not like that.

18:01.538 --> 18:05.584
Like a cool older guy, and he says
there's fishes everywhere.

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So I'm gonna catch a long-nosed fish,

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like the kind just mounted
over a fireplace.

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You ever see those?

18:13.842 --> 18:16.303
And you're like, "Holy fuck!
Did you catch that?"

18:16.386 --> 18:17.721
So big.

18:17.805 --> 18:19.473
How many fish did you see?

18:20.265 --> 18:22.893
Oh, this is stupid. I'm not sending this.

18:24.394 --> 18:26.980
Fuck. Did I just send that?

18:45.457 --> 18:47.584
Me?

18:55.217 --> 18:56.135
Okay.

19:05.978 --> 19:06.979
Hello?

19:07.062 --> 19:07.980
I'm back here.

19:11.859 --> 19:13.068
Wow.

19:16.029 --> 19:21.159
Why are you the only handsome man
that has ever passed by?

19:23.078 --> 19:24.121
I don't know.

19:25.497 --> 19:29.168
I've been standing at that window
for three whole days.

19:29.918 --> 19:31.420
I'm glad I walked by.

19:32.212 --> 19:33.213
Me too.

19:34.798 --> 19:35.966
I'm Katie.

19:38.343 --> 19:40.262
Uh… I'm Joseph.

19:41.054 --> 19:42.055
Joseph?

19:43.765 --> 19:44.892
Juju?

19:46.476 --> 19:48.103
I like that name.

19:50.439 --> 19:52.858
You have broad shoulders, Juju.

19:54.276 --> 19:56.195
And beautiful eyes.

19:56.820 --> 19:58.947
-I'm glad you like them.
-Mmm!

20:02.910 --> 20:04.036
That was…

20:05.287 --> 20:06.330
very nice.

20:06.914 --> 20:08.123
You're a real man.

20:08.206 --> 20:10.250
I am? I am.

20:10.334 --> 20:12.753
Mm. It's not easy to find.

20:13.921 --> 20:16.048
You're having trouble finding a man?

20:16.131 --> 20:16.965
Oui.

20:17.049 --> 20:19.259
Did you ever go outside?

20:19.343 --> 20:22.262
Oh…Mais oui, Juju.

20:23.597 --> 20:24.765
You are…

20:25.599 --> 20:26.475
stunning.

20:27.059 --> 20:30.145
I mean, I was seeing someone.

20:31.021 --> 20:32.648
She said I'm a friend type.

20:33.398 --> 20:36.068
Then I met a cool older guy.

20:36.151 --> 20:38.737
He was saying,
"There's a bunch of fishes--"

20:38.820 --> 20:40.364
I want you to fuck me.

20:40.447 --> 20:42.241
What? Yeah, okay.

20:43.033 --> 20:46.536
I do. I mean, I want to. Thank you.

20:47.371 --> 20:49.665
Fuck. Yeah, let's do that.

20:58.423 --> 20:59.383
Oh, my God.

21:01.718 --> 21:03.553
But…

21:03.637 --> 21:05.264
I want you to do me a favor.

21:06.640 --> 21:08.892
Okay, yeah, sure.

21:10.894 --> 21:12.729
You have to fuck my sister first.

21:15.440 --> 21:16.942
She's my twin.

21:18.652 --> 21:22.281
Okay? Sure. I can do you that favor.

21:23.115 --> 21:24.283
Promise?

21:25.867 --> 21:28.954
I will do my best, madam.

21:32.874 --> 21:36.253
-Do you want me, Juju?
-Mmm-hmm. Yes. Yes.

21:36.336 --> 21:38.922
-I want you.
-Oh. Good. Good.

21:39.006 --> 21:41.341
No! I want you to want me more!

21:41.425 --> 21:43.302
-I never wanted anybody more.
-More!

21:43.385 --> 21:46.013
I want you to take me
and do whatever you want with me.

21:46.096 --> 21:48.348
Whatever pleases you. Mm!

21:48.432 --> 21:50.642
-Juju! Yes. Okay?
-Okay.

21:50.726 --> 21:52.102
-Okay.
-Watch your step.

21:52.185 --> 21:54.062
I'm yours, Juju.

21:54.146 --> 21:55.355
Yes.

21:55.981 --> 21:58.317
But first… my sister.

21:58.400 --> 21:59.401
Okay.

22:01.570 --> 22:02.904
Is she coming or is she here?

22:02.988 --> 22:04.114
What does she look like?

22:05.615 --> 22:06.700
Oh…

22:07.743 --> 22:09.119
No! Fuck!

22:09.202 --> 22:11.455
Who is this?

22:14.166 --> 22:15.417
What is that?
look like?
