WEBVTT

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-I love you.
-I love you too.

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Havana. You got 24 hours, Agent Six.

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Don't get yourself killed.

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Could be fun.

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In my line of work,
I'm always on the road.

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New city.

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New name.

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New target.

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Whiskey. Big ice cube.

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They tell me you are
looking for El Escorpión.

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Not tonight.

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But I never lose myself.

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It's a job.

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I have a routine.

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No attachments.

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Follow your rules.

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I only have one.

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No women, no children.

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Oh, fuck.

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Maybe she's okay.

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Oh, fuck.

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Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

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Oh, my God.

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Fuck.

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Six here.

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Is it done?

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Yep.

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Got her.

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"Her"?

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Your target was a man.

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Uh, no, it wasn't.

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The target you sent was a blonde woman.

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Unless you're saying it's a man.

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I mean, I'm not gonna
assume their pronouns.

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It's a female-presenting person.

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Uh…

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Six, you killed the wrong target.

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I don't know what to tell you, PQ,
but the way this works is

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you send a photo of a person
and I kill them.

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The only way it gets fucked up
is if you send the wrong photo.

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Holy shit!

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You sent the wrong photo?

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-I didn't.
-You did!

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You got an innocent woman killed,
now you're gonna deny it.

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You know what? Connect me with HR.

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We don't have an HR.

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Exactly. That's how we end up
in situations like this.

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Look, I gotta go, man.
I don't know what the fuck to tell you.

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In my line of work,
I only have, uh, two rules.

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How do I get out of this fucking place?

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No children.

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And, uh, never lose your cool.

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Oh…

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What the fuck?

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Ugh…

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Fuck!

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What the fuck did I eat?

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Fuck. I got ice.

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Did I drink the ice?

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This is fucked.

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Ugh, there's so much shit,
it's fucking everywhere.

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I hate my life.

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Jesus Christ.

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Oh…

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Oh, fuck.

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Just a moment, Enrique, I'm coming!

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No problem, sir.

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I'm at the harbor right now,
dude. There's a paid ticket I have.

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They're gonna leave

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-if I don't get on the boat.
-Six.

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-This guy's gonna take off.
-Six.

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Hold on a sec. The bags. Pick the…

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-Six…
-Pick the bags with me.

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Hurry up, sir.

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Fuck!

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-Fucking key's in my jacket.
-Six.

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I, uh… Hey!

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Oh, it's you.

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Yeah. Would you do me a favor?

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Would you fuck a friend of mine?

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You don't have to really fuck him.
Just play with this dick.

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He probably comes fast.
Uh, you understand?

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Like, will you have sex with my friend?

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Motherfucker.

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No, uh… You know what?

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Scratch that. New plan.

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You're making me pull out
the big guns here.

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That's some wild shit.

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You like sloppy top, right?

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-What?
-Blow jobs. I'll give you a blow job.

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Make sure nobody learns about this,

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and I will give you a blow job
on your morning commute…

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-Agent Six.
-…every day.

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And if I go out of town,

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I'll double up when I get back, all right?

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And I will not act like it's a chore.

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I will work at it.

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I'll learn what you like,
and I'll take my time.

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I will enjoy it.

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Want me to put my finger in your ass?

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I can do that too.
I don't mind getting a little dirty.

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-Um…
-And you can just bust

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right as we're pulling
into the parking lot.

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Please let me do this.

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I want to be your cum slut.

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I want you to fill me up,

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fill up my belly every day
with your yum-yum… sauce.

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I want to drain your nuts.

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And I don't have a gag reflex.
I've never told you that.

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So, my throat…

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…which has no gag reflex, is yours.

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You own my throat.

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Every day. Please.

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Does this guy ever shut the fuck up?

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Am I on speakerphone?

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And video.

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What the hell is "sloppy top"?

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Uh…

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What's that?

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You guys are breaking up.
My battery's dying.

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We got you at 85%.

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In my line of work, there are no rules.

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Actually, I just can't
be handcuffed by rules.

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So, you know what I mean?

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Oh, except for that no children rule.

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The "no children" is a good rule.

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I don't kill kids.

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-Fuck.
-My child!

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-No.
-My one-week-old child.

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Can somebody come shoot me?

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Jobs are tough.

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I mean, I wouldn't know
because mine is not.

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I'm a comedian.

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You know that dumb shit
you get sent to HR for saying?

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I get paid for that.

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But other people's jobs are…

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…messy.

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You ready, boys?

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Also messy.

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Some people are great at their jobs.

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Fifty-five years,
not one kid hit by a car.

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Other people are bad at their jobs.

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Like my piece-of-shit assistant Reed,

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who is a completely inept fucking moron

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who is only still here
because I hate confrontation.

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-Doing great, bud.
-Sorry, sir.

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I may be a lowly comedian,
but it's a job I take very seriously.

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As you'll see from the stories
I'm about to share with you.

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Let me be perfectly clear from the start.

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This isn't so much a job
as a responsibility.

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Our residents, they don't have much time.

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What they need is consistency and order.

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They don't like change.

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Do you understand?

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Si. Yes, I understand.

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When I see a wrong in the world,

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to leave it would be
a betrayal of my own heart.

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Mr. Fletcher.

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Mr. Fletcher.

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You gotta see this.

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I pay you to clean, not to dance.

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Signore, these people are not ghosts.

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They are not shadows of the past.

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We must give them more.

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You're a liability.

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I don't know what this man is doing,

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but he's incredible.

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I used to be an opera singer.

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You have a beautiful voice.

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They're alive again, sir.
The man has a gift.

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How is he doing this?

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Lick my ass. Lick it. Oh.

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What the fuck?

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Yes, you are my nasty girl. Yeah.

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Yes.

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What the hell is going on?

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Signore, I give them life. I come so hard.

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They eat my ass.

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Now you understand?

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No.

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No, I don't understand.

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You get out! You get out now!

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Coward!

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I do it for them!

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I do it for them!

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Massimo!

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Please calm down.
This is very cut-and-dried.

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He was not cut.

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And I was not dry.

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I didn't even get to eat his ass.

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-We want Massimo.
-Massimo!

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They won't eat, sir.

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It's been weeks.

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I don't know what to do.

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Massimo.

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-Massimo.
-Yes.

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I am a simple man from Sardinia.

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Where I'm from,
we take care of our elders.

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We show them love.
It fills them with life.

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You treat them like they're already dead.

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These are beautiful people.

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Look at Marta. She can garden again.

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Basta. Basta. No more. Oh!

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And John,

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he play a baseball catch with his bambino.

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Dorothy.

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She learn and she love a nipple torture.

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Feels nice.

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Yes!Yes!

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Oh!

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Well, it's unorthodox,
but I can't argue with the results.

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Massimo can stay.

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Hey!

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Come into me!

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This is my home!

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I don't go nowhere!

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This is my home! Forever!

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I'm pregnant.

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No…

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English.

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What?

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Io no speak inglese.

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He definitely speaks English.

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No, no. Uh…

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He's calling an Uber.

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No, no, no.

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I, uh… I go Walmart.

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I come back ten minuti.

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You stay.

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Uber for Massimo. Going to the airport?

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Fuck.

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Okay, I come right back.

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Okay. Bye-bye.

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I come back ten, maybe 15 minuti.

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Go, go, go, go, go.

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Okay. Bye-bye.

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Fucking Italians.

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Fuck my life.

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We need to increase efficiency
in the fourth quarter

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if we're going to keep the board at bay.

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So I'm expecting big things
from your team, Evan.

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Evan. Are you even listening?

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Uh…

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Sorry, sir, I, uh…

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I'm just a little thrown by the IT guy.

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Oh, right. Uh, Cyrus from IT is using
the latest tech to update our servers,

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which should help us
with our efficiency objectives.

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Now, if you look at the numbers
from the latest manned projections,

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page 3 clearly lays out
the efficiency measures

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that will put a cap on cost overruns
that put us in the red

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on two of the last four quarters.

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Part of that was due to
Tampa not coming through

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with the metrics we requested.

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We do not want to pull another Tampa.

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Sir…

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What's going on? I was really cranking.

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Yeah. What are you doing?

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Updating our server
with the new software patch

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and getting us back online.

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What's it look like I was doing?

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I mean, it looked like you…

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You had two, uh…

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Look, I…

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Why are you doing your work in here?

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Can't you do it in your office?

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And miss Cheryl's birthday?

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No.

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I guess I was just raised different.

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Plus, I don't want a repeat
of Oliver's birthday.

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I didn't get any of that cake.

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-That was some good cake.
-It was.

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Can I get back to it? Please?

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Yes, of course.

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Jesus Christ.

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Anyway, legal wanted me
to remind all of you

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that any and all sales contracts
need at least three days of lead time.

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Whoa, doc.

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That's a big one.

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You can reach out to Marcy Malloy,
lead counsel,

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and she can turn around contract approval
in as little as one business day.

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Just don't abuse it.

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Please… please do not forget to--

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Oh, come on, sir.

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He's clearly using that headset
for virtual reality porn.

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I'm sorry.

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Did you just say virtual reality porn?

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Is that even a thing?

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You just mimed unzipping pants

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and said,
"Whoa, doctor, that's a big one."

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I unzipped a server file
that's absolutely huge.

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I've never seen printer drivers this size.

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Okay, but then you pumped.

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I mean, you were pumping…

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Lube?

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Thank you, Cheryl.

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Lubrication was the word
I was looking for.

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You were pumping lubrication.

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Okay.

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After I unzipped the server file,
I pushed down the excess data.

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And then I just rubbed my hands together
because I was cooking, man.

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Yeah. What about all the licking?

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Oh, my God.

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I have severe carpal tunnel
from working with computers all day. Okay?

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So I activated the oral control,

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including the tongue toggles,
so I could be more efficient, sir.

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Why am I explaining myself to you, Evan?

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Do I come into your office
and ask you about the numbers

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on why our tax liability in China
has tripled since you joined the company?

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No. I let you do your work.

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Let me do mine. Okay?

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As far as I know, I'm the only one here
who knows how this software works.

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Uh, maybe I'm mistaken. Do you?

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Do you?

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How about… just get back to work?

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The sooner we finish,
the sooner we have cake.

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Sound good? Okay.

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He was eating ass.

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I don't know how servers work.

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This technology is the future,
ladies and gentlemen.

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Six months from now,
you're all going to be using it.

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So adapt or die.

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Well, speaking of tax liabilities,

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Evan, why don't you give us an update?

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I'd love to, sir.

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Ahh. Come here, little buddy.

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That's a good boy.

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As you know,

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over the past several quarters,
we have had a tariff…

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-That's a good boy.
-…um, increase.

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Oh, yeah. Tight little pup.

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Our projections are show…

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-Oh, so tight.
-My… My…

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Sir, he's being a little Chinese girl.

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Evan, let the man do his work.

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Oh, is this hard?

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You know what? Let's just do cake.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah? Let's get cake.

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Come on, guys.

15:45.653 --> 15:49.114
Happy birthday to you

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Happy birthday to you

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Happy birthday, dear Cheryl

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I'm almost there.

15:57.373 --> 15:59.959
Happy birthday to you

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Oh! Look, the servers are back online.

16:08.592 --> 16:09.968
You're welcome.

16:10.052 --> 16:11.762
-Good job, Cyrus.
-Nice work.

16:12.638 --> 16:14.390
Oh, Christ.

16:16.809 --> 16:18.686
Hey.

16:19.311 --> 16:20.479
Where's my slice?

16:22.648 --> 16:24.233
Oh, no.

16:25.401 --> 16:27.236
I'm sorry, Cyrus. All out.

16:28.737 --> 16:30.739
I guess I'm not so good with numbers.

16:32.533 --> 16:35.285
All right. Did everyone get cake? Good.

16:35.369 --> 16:36.704
Double slice.

16:36.787 --> 16:38.706
For you a slice. All right.

16:39.248 --> 16:40.874
You cut that piece in half.

16:40.958 --> 16:43.460
Great. Let's eat some cake.

16:45.879 --> 16:47.798
That's fantastic.

16:48.424 --> 16:49.842
Wow. Who picked this up?

16:51.051 --> 16:52.886
Mmm… Now this is cake.
e.