'According to the theory of Evolution..'
'..marking territory helps an animal survive in an ecosystem.'
'Cats leave their scent, wolves howl, and birds make their nests.'
'If this office is my Eco-system..'
'..then this cubical is now my territory.'
'Even I've evolved in the past one month.'
'Gautam and Gambhir now find my jokes funny.'
'I am used to addressing Megha as just "Megha".'
'I don't even have to ask Kalpesh to explain any lingo anymore.'
'What's more, my orders are delivered to my cubicle.'
'Now as soon as my first salary is credited..'
'..I'll officially become an inhabitant of this Eco-system.'
Hello.
- Hello. - Hello.
Hello.
Yeah! Now I can hear you. - Okay.
My phone sometimes heats up and shuts down automatically.
Okay. The battery must have grown old..
Yes.
So I was saying..you must offer 2100, and nothing else.
And if you can't go on Monday, then you can still go on Wednesday?
But..only to a Ganesh temple.
Why? Why not on Tuesday?
Does Lord Ganesh take a sick-leave on Tuesdays?
- What? - Nothing. I'll go.
Your father wants to talk to you.
- You do not understand anything. - Here.
Hello. It's me.
Don't squander your salary. Understood?
- Yes, papa. - Try to save some of it.
Maybe do some kind of investment.
Start a small SIP. Okay?
Yeah! I still have a lot of time to invest.
That's the problem with you guys.
You don't understand the value of time.
Have you studied Compound Interest?
Tell me the formula.
- A=P(1+ R/100)^T - Okay.
And which is the most important variable?
- T. - And what does T mean? Tea?
T means Time.
And why is that?
Because Time has an exponential impact on the end value.
Yes. Now you get it.
Yes. I'll take a look and let you know.
- And.. - Come on, give it to me.
Listen to your mother first.
Here, go on.
Son, first things first, did you eat?
Tell me honestly. Do you and papa know how old I really am?
Did you eat or not?
I did. Mashed aubergine and bread. Anything else?
And find some time to call us as well.
Okay, fine. I'll do it. Okay, bye.
Aubergine. Seriously?
If you were lying, you could've at least said cottage cheese.
And you could've added some cheese to this noodles.
What on earth is this?
Let me get my salary.
And I'll order only cheese-burst pizza for a week.
With extra cheese.
Seriously?
You're going to do the same thing with your first salary..
..that you did back in the hostel on every Friday for four years.
We should upgrade ourselves with our first salary.
How long are we going to watch TV on this mattress like hostelers?
I never ordered extra cheese in the hostel.
And why does Shreesanth wear a headband in Big Boss' home as well?
Kalpesh.
We'll get our first salary in two days.
We're about to lose our financial virginity.
You really want to lose it to a pizza?
Look, it's much better than investing in Mutual funds.
I just said that for the sake of it.
Meaning?
Meaning I am not eating aubergine.
His generation is different.
Do you know, my father's been using the same razor for the past 23-years.
Why?
Because money doesn't grow on trees.
If a new shaving blade costs just 2 rupees..
..then why buy a razor that costs 350 rupees.
To be fair, as per biology he's right.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Do you know, once as a joke..
..I brought a money plant at home.
Instead of laughing, he was commenting on that as well.
What is this stupid thing? Why did you waste money on this?
- Money doesn't grow on trees. - Doesn't grow on trees.
The problem isn't that he's a miser.
Because even after spending their money..
..their generation they just can't enjoy it.
They just worry.
Oh God, that stuff is so expensive.
Fine, so what if you bought it.
So Mr PP, how are you going to lose your virginity?
Sofa.
Recliner.
That's an unusual choice.
Gautam, you need to tell Megha Friday deadline is impossible.
No way, I told her the last time as well.
How unusual?
I mean people normally do something exciting with their first salary.
I went for bungee jumping myself.
A sofa is boring.
It's a recliner. There's a difference.
Yes, in PVR Phoenix, difference is 300 rupees.
I am definitely not going.
- To PVR? - To tell Megha!
Stop looking at the price tag, and look at what it symbolises.
- What does it symbolise? - Waste of money.
- Exactly. - No. Luxury.
Guys, if a working middle-class guy..
..works hard all day and he's going back tired and worn off..
..then doesn't he deserve some luxury.
From where I see it that middle-class man is enjoying the office AC..
..and indulging in online shopping.
That's because I don't have any assigned task today.
Hi, Megha. Hi.
Oh! So sorry. I did not know you were having lunch.
- I didn't expect you to know. - Okay.
I just wanted to inform you that the timeline for version 37..
Is that turnip fry?
Yes.
My mom used to make it often.
The only difference is I never really liked it.
Don't worry, I was not going to offer this to you.
Okay.
I like your lunch box though.
Chhota Bheem.
Belongs to my 7-year-old son.
Oh! I did not know you had a son.
Again, I didn't expect you to know.
Right.
I always liked Scooby-Doo more.
As a kid, every day when I used to come back to school..
- ..I would only watch Scooby-Doo.. - Piyush.
Turnips get soggy very soon.
Oh yeah, sorry.
So Gautam and Gambhir.. Shetty..
They wanted me to inform you..
..that the Friday deadline for version 37 is impossible.
- Okay. - Okay?
Yeah, I never expected them to finish by Friday.
It's the start of the month after all.
Start of the month.
The efficiency of every team drops at the start of the month.
After the salaries go out.
Ahh.. I see.. I see..
Because their salaries come out..
..so they go out partying, followed by drinking..
- ..followed by dancing.. - Followed by a hangover.
Hangovers, yes.
Please ask them to send me revised timelines.
Sure.
If you're waiting only to find out..
..I've sweetmeat for dessert.
- You want? - No, thanks.
Please, I insist.
Oh! Okay, sorry.
Megha, I just want to..
Not me. I've decided I am not going to party with my first salary.
I'm going to buy myself a recliner.
- Okay. - Yeah!
And this information is relevant to me, how?
No, because I can use it to relax after work.
Every night, after coming home from the office..
..I can comfortably watch Big Boss.
And as a Team Lead, you can only expect my efficiency to go up.
Even at the start of the month.
I know..
You must be thinking that it's a stupid voyeuristic show.
But it really helps me relax.
No. I was not thinking that.
I don't hate Big Boss.
In fact, I envy those contestants.
Envy them?
Yeah..they get to live in such a huge house.
Without worrying about rent, electricity bill, phone bill..
..not even maid.
Lucky.
'A Scottish Poet called Robert Burns once said.'
'The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.'
'In simple words..'
'If you want something really bad..'
'..the bloody universe always conspires to create some problem.'
Kalpesh, listen.
How much did you promise our maid Sarita?
6000 rupees.
You said we won't pay more than Rs. 5000.
Yeah, but then you sent me that whatsapp forward.
Which one?
Don't bargain with local vendors.
They work for a living, not to become millionaires.
Shit.
What happened?
I don't think I can buy my recliner.
You can't buy your recliner because of the extra 500 rupees..
..that you have to give to Sarita?
No, I think there are other expenses that I forgot to take into account.
Like.
Internet bill, gas bill, water bill, electricity bill, rent.
Rent?
You forgot that you've to pay rent.
Yeah..but now I remember.
Bro, we're not living in a hostel anymore..
..where our dad pays for the full year's expense.
What's wrong, bro?
Just thinking.
There must be some way to buy the recliner.
Save for a couple of months. Then you can buy one.
You'll just have to wait for a little longer, that's all.
- What are you doing? - What happened?
Work for a couple of hours and then you can take a sip.
You'll just have to wait for a little longer, that's all.
Aren't you getting a little too comfortable in a month?
There's a guy in Shashtri Nagar.
He'll get you a personal loan in three minutes for your sofa.
That's a recliner.
And it's not even possible to fill the form in three minutes.
How can I get the money?
No form. Only cash.
Just remember the EMI date.
No, thanks.
Wait a minute. How do you know I am going to buy a recliner?
I didn't know that the system administrator..
..had the browsing history of every employee.
That's a breach of privacy.
Listen, how much longer?
Three minutes.
Bro, you can also buy it on EMI.
If I wanted to buy on EMI, then I didn't have to wait for my salary.
No discount or sale?
Lord Mountbatten really messed up.
If only they had left earlier..
..then the Independence Day sale could've started in July.
- How much longer? - Two minutes.
But the corporate Loyalty card has a year-long discount.
What card?
Corporate Loyalty Card.
Your roommate is right, son.
Every team leader is assigned..
..an exclusive corporate loyalty card by the company..
..for work-related expenses.
Like offers on premium restaurants.
Free upgrades on flights.
And 30% year-long discount on most e-commerce websites.
Done.
First thing tomorrow morning..
..I'll take the corporate loyalty card from Megha..
..and by lunch, I'll place the order.
Are you sure she will give you the card?
Let me check her horoscope.
What's the point of speculating? Just ask her. Simple.
Actually, it's not that simple.
How much longer?
10 seconds.
Kalpesh, we got stood up with just..
..one television in the name of a fully furnished flat..
..but all that is going to change.
Oh, shit..losing our financial virginity in 3.. 2.. 1..
Idiot!
This is not your birthday which begins at midnight.
Salary gets credited in the day during bank hours.
I know that..now.
What?
Did that Angad mess things up again?
You know what, check your account.
Is that it?
Turn it to silent before going to sleep.
Sorry.
- Hello. - Hello Megha ma'am, Piyush this side.
Ohh..
That's a big mistake Piyush Prajapati.
I know that..now.
I change my advice.
Don't ask her for the card.
Or for anything else..ever.
- Ask me for what? - I..
No, nothing. Nothing.
Good morning, Megha.
- Okay. - How are you?
Did you sleep well?
Guys, I still haven't received your updated timeline.
Sorry Megha, we'll give it to you by Tuesday..
- Afternoon. - Afternoon.
So Wednesday evening it is.
And guys, next time instead of sending Piyush..
..please come directly to inform me.
If nothing else, I'll appreciate the courage.
One second! Megha.
Megha. I am sorry for disturbing you last night.
I think three messages and one email is enough to cover an apology.
Yes, but I didn't know if you had read my messages.
And if you had, whether you accepted my apology or not.
I would immediately say apology accepted, but..
..something tells me that this conversation is not going to end there.
So tell me, Piyush. what is it that you really want?
The corporate loyalty card, actually.
The recliner I was telling you about..
..to afford that I need the corporate loyalty card.
No. It's only for office related expenses.
But Megha, in a way this is an office related expense only.
I mean think about it, if an employee is well-rested..
..his output is definitely bound to go up only, right.
- I know its hard to put a tangible reasoning to it.. - Piyush.
Do you know why I bring my son's Chhota Bheem lunch box?
Because you like it.
- It's a rhetorical question. - Oh, sorry! Why?
Because he has moved on to Doremon lunch box.
According to him, Doremon is his..
..most favourite cartoon character in the world.
And his lunch box is the only thing he ever wanted.
So sweet.
Only thing is he used to say the same thing..
..for Chhota Bheem three months ago.
Look..if you really want that recliner, nobody can stop you.
But please stop convincing yourself by saying that you're..
..doing it to increase work efficiency because that's a lie.
You want to believe it so that you feel less guilty about buying it.
Okay! Sorry.
Megha, when you got your son the Chhota Bheem lunch box..
..how did he feel?
He was really happy.
Yeah, I thought so.
When will I get my salary?
As soon as you stop waiting for it.
'Gambhir was right.'
'I tried waiting. I even tried planning.'
'But it was of no use.'
'For the rest of the day, I will just sit on the desk..'
'..and not be distracted at all.'
'Music is defined as a combination of sounds in succession..'
'..capable of invoking an emotion in the listener.'
'According to that, all these notification sounds for me..'
'..was nothing short of AR Rehman's symphony.'
- The amount is correct. - Correct?
But we were promised much more in the placement.
Yeah..that's your CTC.
- CTC? - Yeah..CTC.
What do you mean by CTC?
Cost to Company, CTC.
And this.
This?
This is your in-hand.
Look Piyush, there are many things included in CTC.
Conveyance allowance, medical insurance premium..
..employees contribution to provident fund..
..employer's contribution to provident fund.
So the company's contribution to my PF is also coming from my salary.
Yes.
Ma'am, then how is the company contributing to it?
I mean this is coming out of my salary.
What am I getting?
Sodexo Coupons.
Look Piyush, your salaries are structured in such a way..
..so that you can save on paying tax.
Ma'am, I haven't got my salary yet. So what tax?
And what does the government believe? I am Mallya. I'll flee before year-end.
All I wanted was to buy one recliner. But no, this tax.
And what do we get from paying taxes?
Scams? Potholes? Or these coupons? Coupons, ma'am.
If I use these coupons outside, I'll have to pay GST on them again.
What does the government think? Does money grow on trees?
'I could have blamed genetics for this.'
'But when I automatically blurted the same words..'
'..that I've been hearing all my life..'
'..that's when I understood the emotion behind it.'
'There's a quote in English.'
'Do not judge someone before you've walked a mile in their shoes.'
'That single moment gave me a clarity on lot of things.'
'Clarity on why every salaried person..'
'..curses the government once every month.'
'Why papa have been using the same razor for the past 23- years.'
CVV 667.
Use it only once.
And use it right here.
I don't want you to call me at home for OTP.
'And the clarity about what I want to do with my first salary.'
The camera must be good if you're saying so.
But this phone is so huge.
Doesn't even fit in my hand.
Keep using it, and you'll grow used to it in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, but you could've at least informed me before sending it.
I was about to send that delivery guy back..
- ..saying that we haven't ordered anything. - I see..
And how did papa like his gift?
Ask him yourself.
Here.
Careful.
Yes, it's me.
What about the warranty papers for the new phone? Where are they?
Actually, I ordered the phone online..
..so it has three-years free warranty.
By the way, how did you like your new razor?
Did you use it?
Your mother insisted that I do.
I was planning to use it on Dussera or Diwali.
But you know your mother..she doesn't listen to anyone.
She made me use it.
It's nice, and smooth, and doesn't burn either.
But..
But?
It's expensive.
Yes, it's expensive.
But you will get used to it.
I'll call you tomorrow.
What?
Phone?
Here.
What was uncle saying?
He was saying thank you.
Piyush, don't you think sometimes life changes overnight.
What do you mean?
I mean until yesterday we were eating plain Maggie.
And now as soon as our salaries got credited, we're having cheese Maggie.
Listen, switch to Big Boss.
They were saying that after the break..
..Anup Jalota is going to sing Honey Singh's song.
Are you serious?
Come on.
Advertisements!
- Is he really going to sing? - Yes.