Find yourself someone special today at 6 pm.
Enjoy yummy food, drinks and sexy salsa.
After all, all it takes
'Two to Tango.'
Okay fuck off. Thanks Saurabh.
I will see you in the evening?
-Thank you. -Thank you dude.
She made me dance so much. I have never done this in my life.
-Bagga bro. -Yes bro. Coming.
-Naira? -Yes?
-Let's rehearse again. -You want to dance with me?
By the way, Deepu.
Deepika!
Good work saving Anshul Chaddha from catfishing.
I mean, that whole thing translated really well
into the 'Two to Tango' app for you.
-I gave her the idea. -Really?
I was the one who told her to make an app for widows,
divorced people and senior single citizens.
-Really? -I mean there is no age for love.
And fun.
Yeah. Give me. Let me give you some fun and love.
Come here. Let me say thank you to you. Come, come.
-I don't mind. -Guys, guys, guys. Stop.
Stop and listen to me.
Guys this is a great idea because
people can only use it through recommendation.
So uncles and aunties won't be afraid to use it, it will be safe!
Yes, and I also like the mixie idea.
These old people will meet each other
they will have a mixie and it will be intimidation.
It's called an 'Intimate mixer.'
-Intimate mixer. -Forget it dude.
Why are you guys peeking over my shoulder? It's my rental agreement.
Once I sign it and send it. They will sign it and send it back.
Then I can put up my board.
-Do you think I am kidding? -No man, please show me.
Take a look. Look at this. I have printed the cards already!
-That's amazing. -I know.
By tonight,
we will both be businessmen.
I love momos!
Yeah, but you know what?
What I think is... in my opinion.
Don't you think it's better to have a job?
Because it's a lot less riskier than starting your own business.
There is nothing better than a job, Naira!
Really? What do you get at a job?
Peanuts.
Business has the gulab jamuns and ladoos.
We are not opening a sweet shop.
-Stupid man. -Anyway,
I am never going to work under anyone.
We should always have a positive attitude.
Correct! We will be going on staycations and what will you do?
Sit at work 24 hours like watchmen?
Naira, if I wasn't in top-most level love with you.
Then I would have told you how stupid you're being.
These guys are so naive.
I am never going to hire such unprofessional lazy fuckers like--
You? Hire us?
How about you start your business first.
-I bet you don't even know. -Oh yeah.
The college placements have begun.
Well anyway, we will have a job by evening
and you guys will be selling snacks or whatever out here.
We will get jobs on our own qualifications.
We are not starting a business with out father's money.
I will do it with my father's money! Just because you don't have it...
-Calm down. Wait a second. -Somebody shut her up.
Are you crazy? Don't argue with them.
You hold your event at 6 in the evening.
And I will get the papers to my shop signed.
And by the evening we will spit on them.
-How? -Ah-thoo.
-Give me one more. -Ah-thoo.
If we don't dry up your spit by evening you can change our names.
We totally will!
-Challenge. -Challenge bro.
-Expected. -Accepted.
Make 20,000 rupees from the comfort of your home.
-Nobody will give you even 20 rupees. -I get petrol for that much every month.
Baby?
Are you done updating your CV?
I am working on it.
I have e-mailed my CV to you.
Really? Can I take a look?
Here.
-Thank you. -Printout.
Pay attention to the format, okay?
-Yes, of course. -And listen.
I am going to be doing NGO voluntary work the whole day tomorrow.
You know how much I love playing with
and teaching young kids right?
-I know. -Don't make any other plans.
I won't.
-Bye Naira sis. -Bye.
"Top 10 Indian B schools."
What are you learning?
I got a pop-up ad and I accidentally clicked it
so I started reading it.
It's a survey.
What the fuck?
Naira, is that your two page CV?
Yes.
But mine is a single page.
Go and get a printout of your CV.
Kavita is not my relative.
What the fuck again?
DP has a three page CV.
She is a charmer.
Deepu listen to me.
-Deepu? -Say my name properly Bagga!
-Deepu. -Properly!
-Deepika. -And walk!
Listen, don't worry about what Naira said.
Dad's make money so that we can spend it.
Besides, you are investing in your business, not spending it.
Who is calling me?
Hello?
Yes?
What do you mean we didn't get the location?
Why are you so worried man?
There a lot of girls colleges in South Ex.
But remember, it should be a posh location.
Because a posh location will bring girls, girls will bring boys,
if there are boys that will bring more girls. It will be so much fun!
Where did she go?
What are you thinking about?
I am just wondering
which one of us Deepika will choose.
But could we...
remain friends after that?
Of course.
To be honest...
it will be a bit awkward.
No dude,
we can still hang out in group settings.
Even though we won't be close friends like
we are now.
But we had some fun times didn't we?
You dog.
Ow!
You know,
I never had a best friend.
I think you're my best friend.
I think you're my best friend too.
Please don't tell DP that.
Yes. No worries.
Hi!
-Hi. -Hey.
What are you guys talking about?
Nothing, we were just waiting for you.
Really?
Today is a big day for both of you isn't it?
Deepu ma'am will finally decide who she will be BF-GF
or GF-GF with.
Whichever one of you gets their heart broken
will get a break-up care package from me.
-Thanks. -Thanks.
Thanks DP, that's very sweet of you.
Yeah.
You don't need to thank me.
After all, we are best friends!
-Yeah. Yeah. -Of course.
-Of course. Of course.
Best friends.
You. Wannabe Anjali.
Who is she?
Kavita Kalra.
She is coming to the college today for the recruitment.
She is the most successful alumni from our college.
And keeps investing in start-ups.
Moreover, she is very rich.
-She is a businesswoman? -Yep.
See? I told you.
Businessmen are the only ones who are rich.
Maybe I should talk to her too.
Maybe I can make my company a mermaid too.
-It's Unicorn company. -Are you a junior?
-Yes. -Then why are you interrupting me?
I am going home to get a pitch deck.
And I will make sure this woman Kavita Kalra invests in my business.
She is gonna swallow Kavita Kalra whole.
-You're a junior, right? -Yes.
Then why are you giving me high-fives?
Watch yourself.
Deepika.
So, what did you decide?
About what?
30 days are over so...
which one of us will you date?
I will date both of you. At the same time. Together.
We. You. Me. Her.
Throuple. We are going to be a throuple.
So hot, right?
You got spine?
Let me know.
Throuple?
Oh... Okay.
Thanks.
They sent your lunch directly to your house.
Naira.
How will you punish my assistant for this incompetence?
I will fire her.
She is my niece.
I would like to think of myself as a team player.
I will help her. I will gift her a planner.
I will teach her the ways.
So many courses?
Science of Well-being course?
So basically, it's a combination of yoga and some meditation
and I feel that it really helps me take the pressure off.
-So you also did Vipassana? -Oh no, no, no ma'am.
Who is going to go there and work so hard for 10 days--
I mean, I am all for hard work
but managing your time is just as important.
I learnt all of this online.
And this app development course?
-Yes ma'am. -What coding language do you use?
Language? Oh no. You don't need a language these days.
There are formats available, just input the data and boom.
Would you hire Naira?
Nobody should ever hire her.
What the fuck?
I thought you were always calm under pressure Naira.
Excuse me, are all of these certificates yours?
These? You can get a bunch for 500 rupees outside.
I photocopied all of them.
I thought so.
Do you want a set?
I am good.
Okay.
Is Naira practicing Vipassana in there?
Ma'am I assure you, I am a very quick learner.
But I would just ask you to give me this job.
Give me this chance and I will not dissapoint you.
Naira, I think you're a jack-of-all-trades but master of none.
Thank you.
Ma'am your lunch.
Ma'am you asked me how I managed to do all of this.
That's because I multi-task.
Alright Naira.
Our HR will mail you the job offer.
Congratulations.
Bitch.
I am so sorry.
I see.
Yeah?
What?
We lost all three locations?
Okay.
It's fine, try to get it near another girl's college.
There is South Ex and GK. Anywhere is fine.
I just want the papers signed today.
Yes, that's right.
I have promised someone. Bye then.
Oh wait hold on.
-Hello? -Bagga listen to me.
There is horrible traffic and I am stuck on Ring Road.
I found out that Kavita Kalra is leaving soon.
You need to stop her. Will you do it?
Will you do it or not? God damn it, don't irritate me.
Will you do it or not?
Talk to me! Say it God damn it! Will you do it or not?
-Yes, yes I will. -Then do it. Don't irritate me.
Now! I am coming.
Crazy woman.
You are the only canditate with a three page long CV.
But there is something wrong with your CV.
Nowadays, people only use one page CVs.
Just fit it in one page.
I will make the change.
Later.
Tell me more about your voluntary work at the NGO.
I go there every weekend.
I donate both my time and my savings.
In short, I love kids.
I am impressed Karan.
I would like to offer you a job.
Good work.
Yeah.
You are an interesting man.
Are you an imbecile Karan?
Yes or no?
Yes.
I asked you in French,
which your CV says you can speak very well,
are you stupid?
Yes or no?
And you said yes.
AllrounderDhatrapriya@expressmail.com?
Good to meet you miss all-rounder Dhatrapriya.
God, these placements man.
-So stressful. -Seriously.
What is your scene bro?
I won't be taking part in college placements next year.
But don't you think placement is a nice back-up plan?
It can be.
What is a back-up?
Do you know, when I am very hungry and the food is delayed
I never order soup starters.
I wait so that I can concentrate on the Biryani.
-Hi Karan sir. -Hi Karan sir.
My Biryani. Bye.
Means, employee of the year?
How was it?
Hello ma'am.
Interviews are over.
Ma'am but the candidate is right here.
-Myself Bagga. -Please leave.
Forget about that ma'am. Tell me which idiot ordered this?
The Imperial Chinese Cafe guy is a thief.
He hired a guy from a stall in Ghaziabad.
And he tells people that my chef trained in China.
Such bullshit. His name is Sundaram.
He has never even been to Meerut, forget about China.
Look at this.
Just look. Sit down I will explain.
Sit down. Please, please. Take a seat.
Look at this ma'am.
Fried stuffed mushroom hakka noodles.
It's a chowmein. But he charged 1,500 rupees for it.
Look at that, the delivery charge is 150 rupees.
His stall is just two lanes away.
Didn't he come by cycle?
It looks like you are very good at this.
Yes, of course I am.
Ma'am I was simply wondering
how to explain it to you.
You are a businessman.
So I can explain it to you with numbers.
Take any big market
on the weekend they probably have a footfall of around 20 - 25,000 people.
Let's take 1 percent of that. 200 to 250.
If 200 to 250 people come to my cafe
and I am honest and make some great food for them.
Those 250 will turn into 1,000.
Do you know how our business works?
What is this?
Word of mouth.
This is word of mouth.
That is how you build a business. Look at this. Take this card.
-Bagga's momos? -That's right.
It doesn't have a location.
But I will have that by the evening.
Will you make her the manager of your restaurant?
Ma'am why are you handing me your weak link?
She is a bit lax.
Tell me the truth.
Is she related to you?
Am I right? I knew it.
How else could you get a job?
If you want to start your own business
then why are you here for a job?
-Why am I here? -Why are you here?
Ma'am why do we do anything in life?
-Why? -Why...
Ma'am call it a second chance.
Plan B. We can call it plan B.
Ma'am but you don't even know the location.
I have so many locations in mind.
I wanted to tell you about them.
-Go ahead. -GK-1.
Saket. You know Saket.
-Okay. -Where do you stay?
-Chhatarpur. -We can't go there.
-Bagga? -Yes ma'am.
You can contact me if you don't get a location.
Please wait ma'am I will tell you more. Where is Deepika?
Ma'am I have a few hundred more locations! Hello?
No Chachi, your tips are the reason the interview went so well.
Yes, thank you...
Ma'am how was the food?
Madam you forgot your pencil.
-Just hear me out. -One second.
What were you doing with Kavita Kalra?
Wait a second. Madam you dropped 500 rupees back there.
-Were you selling momos? -I am not doing this for me!
-Who are you doing this for then? -Give me a second.
Are you crazy? Ma'am!
Where is she? Naira wait. Ma'am! Ma'am!
Ma'am please wait.
Naira just wait, have you gone crazy?
Just wait a minute.
How many calls do you get?
It's the location guy!
Hello?
Yes?
Deepika, not here for your job
but for your investment in my app.
Final year student.
Give me a chance.
Alright.
Deepika?
You see that college gate?
Finish your pitch before we go out that gate.
Okay! India has 40 million widows around 10% of total female population
that's like highest in the world. 54% of them are 50 and above.
12% are in 35 - 39 age group that gives us 26 million.
10% remarry so now we are left with 23.4 million.
Let's just say 23 million. 50% of them are urban.
So now we are left with 11.5 million. Let's just say 10% of them follows us.
We still have over a million subscribers.
Imagine the possibilities, the brand endorsements,
the advertising money, the subscription money,
the celeb partnerships and what not? And it takes 'Two to Tango.'
That's the name of my app.
Good work Deepika.
I am organizing a mixer event today.
Yum food. Drinks. Salsa.
Salsa?
Isn't that too intimate for your target market?
Also I think 'Two to Tango' is a bit off.
Honestly, your idea sounds fine
but the execution is not.
Deepika?
I will make you an offer.
I will only invest in your app when you accept me as a mentor.
I know what I know.
I don't need a fucking mentor.
Don't be in a rush. Think about it.
Deepika.
It could be just us.
Deepika.
We have decided.
We will be in the thriple with you.
-Throuple. Yeah. -Throuple.
We will all be together. With you.
We will figure everything else out.
-We will manage it. -People do so much more.
Yes exactly, I mean we will be together--
Shut up!
You people don't understand that if any of us date someone
somebody will be left with a motherfucking broken heart.
I understood that at the camping site and I thought you would too
but no! you people are not understanding that
we will ruin what we can have.
The most important thing.
Our fucking friendship.
Move, move, move!
Baby you have been quiet for so long
will you tell me what happened at the interview?
What happened?
I copied your CV.
Kavita Kalra figured it out.
Why did you do that?
Because I was scared and insecure.
Why would you be insecure about that?
Look at me.
Your CV talks about you.
Everything you accomplished...
I faced reality today.
I know.
That you wait for the Biryani.
Fully loaded with salad and raita.
I can't even be a starter.
What does that mean?
You have a three page CV
and mine is half a page.
There is a huge difference between us.
I tried very hard...
to get rid of this difference.
But I can't.
I got bad marks in the mock test even though you said I would do well.
Job was my back-up option
but they kicked me out of the office.
I don't even know if I will get into MBA.
You will.
I promise...
I promise you will.
This... This was just one company.
There will be so many more of them.
This was just the first placement.
Baby.
Our lives have just begun...
it will get a lot more serious in the future.
I don't deserve you.
You deserve someone who
can eat Biryani with you.
It was just a bad day, please.
I also have bad days baby please.
We will forget about it.
Today...
I figured out my worth.
Bro...
With DP you shouldn't...
Today...
I have been missing Trippy a lot.
If he was here
he wouldn't have gotten a job either.
We would have driven around on Mohini and enjoyed being losers.
We are both average guys aren't we?
It's not like I accomplished anything.
The...
loser feeling that you have
I have it too.
Why did you cancel the event?
Event?
Listen to these humans.
"Sorry Deepika, salsa is a bit too intimate."
"Maybe I will come later."
"I am a little nervous about salsa. Sorry won't be able to make it."
Out of 16 only 3 people were willing to do it after I convinced them.
It's fine guys.
We will try again. We will hold a different event.
It's not that Bagga.
I worked so bloody hard on my app.
But the reality is that I had the privilege
of my father's money.
I couldn't get the investment.
Naira was right.
Anyone can start a business with their dad's money.
The whole city of Delhi shows off their father's money.
Sorry Deepu.
I told you that you would run a business with your father's money.
It's not like I actually did anything.
Today I can see my own hypocrisy.
I went there believing I was hot shit.
And she slapped me with a job for 15,000 per month.
I even paid 5,000 for her food.
Whose money is that? It's my father's.
I am a loser too.
Hey...
why are you so stressed out?
At least you have a job.
Look at me.
All I have...
are these visiting cards.
I thought I could set up my business like I did with parties.
I only learnt when I entered the market,
even opening a small cafe requires a lot of permits.
Forget about South Delhi
I couldn't find a shop in my own area, next to my house.
Everyone in college says that
Bagga can do anything.
But reality kicked my ass so hard
that I can't show off anymore.
Adulting is no fun. It's tough.
What happened?
All good?
Yeah...