1
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,320
How many stars sparkle in the sky?
2
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,320
Ever tried counting them?
3
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:18,200
It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy.
4
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,760
And how many such galaxies exist?
5
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,640
Scientists reckon, two billion more.
6
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,080
Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodies
7
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,640
a planet with people like us, exists?
8
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,640
As we explore the space looking for them,
9
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,000
could they be coming here,
looking for us?
10
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:27,440
What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship.
11
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,120
Without this remote
he could not return home.
12
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,640
He neither knew our language,
nor did he have a friend here.
13
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,720
Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...
14
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,760
"how will I return home?"
15
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:08,920
On the pathway of time
Life is but a brief flame
16
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:14,480
In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist
17
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,800
But on a beautiful bend
18
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,600
A stranger may we meet
19
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,800
Life after life
20
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,480
Whose memory may persist
21
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,640
Sorry, I raised my hand first.
22
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,320
But I called out first.
23
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,200
I'm a big fan of Harivansh Rai Bachchan.
24
00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:00,040
I'm a bigger fan of his son,
Amitabh Bachchan.
25
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,200
I've been reading his poems
since I was ten.
26
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,120
I've memorized them all.
27
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,400
I know his dialogues since
I was five, without even memorizing them!
28
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,080
Hello, who wants it?
29
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,560
Give it to me.
Poetry's not his cup of tea.
30
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:11,840
100 euros.
31
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,760
100 for a ticket worth 40?
Black market of poetry!
32
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,000
I queued up six long hours for this.
33
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,640
-Go for the dialogues.
-All yours. Ladies first.
34
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,440
Just a second!
Why not split the ticket?
35
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,720
You can enjoy the poetry
in the first half
36
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,800
and I'll savor the acting
in the second half.
37
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,000
96 euros! How about a discount?
We're from the same country.
38
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,200
Hail India, bro!
39
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,040
Long live the motherland!
100 euros.
40
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:07,800
Sir!
41
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,560
Can I borrow 4 euros?
Please!
42
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,960
You can keep my watch till I repay you.
43
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,200
Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket.
44
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,600
The show is sold out, child.
There are no tickets left.
45
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,520
There is one left
with that black marketeer.
46
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,440
Scoundrel!
47
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,760
-He's bringing shame to India.
-So true!
48
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,040
Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket.
49
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,000
-Sir!
-Do I know you?
50
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,360
Where's my ticket?
51
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,360
Ticket?
Yours for 100 euros.
52
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,880
Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!
53
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,480
Mind your coat first!
54
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,080
-Now enjoy the show!
-Security!
55
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,440
Wrinkled wreck!
56
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,840
Let's get out of here.
57
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,480
-I won't spare you, old man!
-Shameless girl!
58
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,520
Don't chase me.
Catch him!
59
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,640
Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!
60
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,000
Don't let it bother you.
61
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,840
-Forget about it.
-How can I?
62
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,360
That bandit must be enjoying
the poetry and here I am!
63
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,600
Drop it.
64
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,040
Why pine for the party
that shuns us?
65
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,400
Follow the moment
that beckons us.
66
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,080
I too dabble in poetry.
67
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,000
It's nice. Go on.
68
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:07,800
No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me.
69
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,040
-Are you crazy?
-I mean it!
70
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,360
Your favorite poet,
senior Mr. Bachchan
71
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,280
met a lady one morning,
wooed her with a verse
72
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,840
and by dusk they were married.
So I've read.
73
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,080
And boy!
Look what they produced!
74
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,400
Mr. Amitabh Bachchan.
75
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,040
Jaggu.
76
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,480
Jaggu?
77
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,040
My name.
78
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,440
Papa had given me a horrendous name.
Jagat Janani!
79
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,880
I used to get mocked at school
so I shortened it.
80
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,160
Jaggu!
81
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,800
-From Mumbai?
-No. Delhi.
82
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,480
I'm studying TV production here.
83
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,680
And you?
84
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,360
I am Sarfaraz.
I study architecture...
85
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,680
and work part-time
at the Pakistan Embassy.
86
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,080
The Pakistan Embassy? Why?
87
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,440
Because I'm from Pakistan.
88
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,160
It's unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!
89
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,800
What's wrong?
90
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,680
Nothing.
91
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,560
Since I am from Pakistan,
it perturbs you, doesn't it?
92
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,960
Alright then.
93
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,320
Goodbye.
94
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:38,840
Ask not my name, nor my country
95
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:45,200
From bondage of borders, break free
96
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:51,440
A few steps on this brief journey
97
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:57,120
Come, just walk with me
98
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,640
Ask not my name, nor my country
99
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,920
From bondage of borders, break free
100
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:18,200
A few steps on this brief journey
101
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,600
Come, just walk with me
102
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,720
Past the realms of word and speech
103
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,080
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
104
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,400
A few steps on this brief journey
105
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,480
Come, just walk with me
106
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,960
Past the realms of word and speech
107
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,920
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
108
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,040
A few steps on this brief journey
109
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,320
Come, just walk with me
110
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,880
If the sun scorches the pathway
111
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,480
A carpet of shade will I lay
112
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,600
If darkness fills you with dismay
113
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:27,400
I'll conjure up a moon in the sky
114
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,360
If dejection fills up your day
115
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,800
With laughter I'll shoo it away
116
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,000
Laughing, frolicking, humming a song
117
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,560
Together we shall walk along
118
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,600
With you, my fellow traveler
119
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,560
Nothing in this world I fear
120
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,360
Why a few steps, a whole lifelong
121
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,640
With you I'll walk along
122
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,080
Past the realms of word and speech
123
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,720
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
124
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,760
A few steps on this brief journey
125
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,480
Come, just walk with me
126
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,320
Mom! Papa!
127
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,880
More photos please!
128
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,720
What's his job?
What's his family like?
129
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,080
Calm down, Mom.
I'll tell you.
130
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,480
First, tell me the name.
131
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,040
Sarfaraz.
132
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,880
Is he a Muslim?
133
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,280
Yes. He's studying architecture.
His family is in Pakistan.
134
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,760
Pakistan!
Which Pakistan?
135
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,480
There's just one Pakistan, Mom
136
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,720
You'll wear burkas? Read the Quran?
Have you gone crazy?
137
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,680
Don't you disconnect.
Stay put.
138
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,120
Start the car.
139
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,280
All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!
140
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,240
I knew exactly
where Papa was headed.
141
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,840
Since childhood, one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness.
142
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,920
From bags to the walls of our bathroom
143
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,320
he was omnipresent.
144
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,360
He would set up an auspicious
time even for a root canal.
145
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:20,360
He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task.
146
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,760
Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market.
147
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,600
God of Health for workouts.
148
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,240
Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courier
149
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,880
were his innovations.
150
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,160
Hail, Your Holiness.
151
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,760
Hail, Your Holiness.
152
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,800
Touch his feet Jaggu.
153
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,560
Why this fatal infatuation?
154
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,119
Pick up a pen and write.
155
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,880
God...
156
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,160
enlighten me.
157
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,359
Yes.
158
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,920
Yes.
159
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,240
Your wish is our command.
160
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,760
Write down the prophecy.
161
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,080
This Pakistani boy,
162
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,880
Sarfaraz,
163
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,360
will betray you.
164
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,760
I know he won't.
165
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:43,520
History stands witness.
These people scheme and betray.
166
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,080
He will pursue carnal pleasures.
167
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,520
But he will never marry you.
He'll vanish.
168
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:55,280
Jaggu, come back home! One more
night there, and you're dead to us.
169
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,160
Mr. Sahni, let me talk to her.
170
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,040
Child, hit the delete button.
171
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,520
Banish him from your system.
172
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,400
What happened?
173
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,440
-Why?
-Will you marry me?
174
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,360
-What's the matter?
-Yes or no, Sarfaraz?
175
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,680
Yes, but--
176
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,680
-Tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?
177
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,680
Tomorrow we get married.
178
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,400
His prophecy is wrong.
179
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,800
It was from Sarfaraz.
180
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,640
He said, "Marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families.
181
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,560
Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different.
182
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,520
We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy.
183
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,800
Don't try to contact me.
184
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,480
I'm sorry."
185
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,280
New Delhi.
186
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:57,360
I came back to my city,
but my parents refused to see me.
187
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,560
I joined a news channel as a reporter.
188
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,880
Today's story: a depressed dog.
189
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,200
That's our breaking news!
190
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,920
Some days we had the news
and some days we fabricated it.
191
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,760
Missing: God.
192
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,040
If found, contact Tipsy.
193
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,200
There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office.
194
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,840
Don't be late!
195
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,080
Why are you handing these out?
196
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,520
I have a case pending with Him.
197
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,800
He neither solves it, nor meets me.
198
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,440
My life is kaput.
199
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,800
He's gone into hiding.
200
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,360
Have you seen Him around?
201
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,360
No.
202
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,000
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
203
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,840
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
204
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:29,360
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
205
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,600
By the way, what's with the helmet?
206
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,840
I got the idea from taxi-tops.
207
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,840
Yellow yells out from miles.
208
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,920
It's because of this that taxis
are spotted easily in traffic.
209
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,880
-So?
-So, even God will spot me easily.
210
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,880
How else will he spot me
in this crowd?
211
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,760
A bit to your left.
212
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,920
They say animals are not suicidal.
213
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:09,080
Here's Nikku.
Mr. Sweetie Singh's dog.
214
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,280
Nikku has attempted suicide thrice.
215
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:18,800
He jumped off a roof, licked sleeping
pills and hopped onto a gas burner.
216
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,120
What's wrong with Nikku?
217
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,360
Is Nikku prey to a mental problem?
218
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,200
Is Nikku...
219
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,160
What's wrong, Jaggu?
220
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,400
Our chat with famed industrialist,
Mr. Ratan continues
221
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,160
right after this break.
222
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,960
You wanna have some coffee?
223
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,480
Get him some coffee.
224
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,560
What's your guess?
225
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,840
Does this dog have depression,
anxiety disorder,
226
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,240
schizophrenia, or ADHD?
227
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,400
Whatever, why would I care?
228
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,400
Why do we air such stupid news?
229
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,840
What would you rather air?
230
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,080
Hold him, please.
231
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,920
Look at this.
232
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,120
I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets.
233
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,240
-He is searching for God.
-Did he find Him?
234
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,240
No. But...
235
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,360
"Searching for God," that's religion.
"Finding God," that's news.
236
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,120
If he finds God, get him.
237
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,280
Man, you've changed!
238
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,720
Where's the "Fighter Cherry Bajwa"?
239
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,480
Let me show you.
Take a good look.
240
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,360
There are three marks here.
241
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,240
And they aren't birthmarks.
242
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,600
I ran a show against your Dad's guru,
His Holiness.
243
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,160
His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum.
244
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,240
That day I swore that
if you want to live in this country
245
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,600
don't mess with religion.
246
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,200
We were chatting with
famed industrialist, Mr. Ratan.
247
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,800
The boss killed my story.
248
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,160
But two weeks later,
it came back into my life.
249
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,600
Stop! Thief!
250
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,720
He's stealing
from the donation box!
251
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,840
Where do you think you're going?
252
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,320
Don't let him go!
253
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,920
Move!
254
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,520
Lifting from the donation box, you fool?
255
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,160
-Yes.
-He's no thief!
256
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,560
While donating,
my wallet fell in the box.
257
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,600
He was getting it out for me.
258
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:45,760
Trust me.
259
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,360
Check for yourself.
It has 5,000 rupees in it.
260
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,000
-That's mine!
-Not anymore.
261
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,280
Once in the box, it's donated.
262
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,000
Now, it belongs to God.
Let them go.
263
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,800
Dude, what the hell were you up to?
264
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,120
Claiming my refund.
265
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,080
God took His fee but didn't deliver.
266
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,800
Hang on.
267
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,040
I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back in.
268
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,840
I took back what I'd paid
at this branch and returned the rest.
269
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,840
You used to wear beads and amulets, right?
270
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,960
Rejected. Gone for good!
271
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,840
Then why the stickers?
272
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,560
Self-defense!
273
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,960
God's pictures on a public
wall prevent peeing.
274
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,440
And on the face, prevent punches.
275
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,280
Mitu, where are you?
276
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,960
Please pick me up.
I've got no money to get home.
277
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,480
I'll fill you in later.
278
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,040
I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple.
279
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,400
Hurry up.
Thanks, bye.
280
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,280
Here you go.
281
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,040
-What for?
-For the ride home.
282
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,440
I feel very sad when someone
can't get to their home.
283
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,240
-Wait.
-That's all I had.
284
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,520
I can't accept this.
285
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,680
-Why?
-Won't you need it to get home?
286
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,120
Money can't... get me home.
287
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,720
Why? Where do you live?
288
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,200
I live at the Agrasen step-well.
289
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,520
But in the rainy season,
I check into a lock-up.
290
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,280
There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them.
291
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,360
And they let you check in,
like in a hotel?
292
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,480
Come.
I'll give you a demo.
293
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,840
URINATING HERE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
294
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,880
Just watch!
295
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,800
Hey! Look here!
296
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,520
You vandal!
297
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Jaggu!
298
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,040
We have to follow that van.
299
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,880
-Who are we chasing?
-A story.
300
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,440
Give me your wallet.
I need some cash.
301
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,760
-Hurry!
-Here.
302
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,440
-Yes?
-I want to go inside the lock-up.
303
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:39,880
Why?
304
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,800
To meet that guy.
305
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,840
Do you think this is the
local coffee joint?
306
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,240
Saunter in and chillax with your buddies?
307
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,960
This is a lock-up, get it?
308
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,480
Only offenders get in.
309
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,800
Bribing is an offense!
310
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,360
That's why I'm committing it!
311
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:04,440
I can lock you in.
312
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,560
Yes, please.
313
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,440
-Thank you, Mr. Pandey.
-One hour, that's it.
314
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,440
I want to know your story.
Will you share it?
315
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,760
-Why?
-I'm a TV reporter. It's my job.
316
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,360
Go on, ask me whatever you want to.
317
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,840
What's your name?
318
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,440
I don't have a name.
319
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,040
They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why.
320
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,880
And what do you do?
321
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,280
I'm an astronaut.
322
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,600
You mean, those who shoot off to the moon?
323
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,520
I've been there once.
It's kaput.
324
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,160
Sure!
325
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,280
So, what's your favorite planet?
326
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,320
-My own.
-I meant besides Earth.
327
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,400
Earth is mega-kaput.
328
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,640
I meant my own planet.
329
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,360
It'll show up there, at night.
330
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,240
We went bananas,
331
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,520
when we found another planet
with people like us.
332
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,200
I was sent here
on a research mission.
333
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,480
Boy, what a welcome I got!
334
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,280
Somebody stole my remote.
335
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,680
Without it,
I can't signal my people.
336
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,880
And without a signal
they won't come for me.
337
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,640
They'll think it's a perilous planet.
338
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,440
That I'm dead as a dodo.
339
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,040
-Listen.
-What?
340
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,880
Let me out.
I want to go home.
341
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,040
Your Highness, convicts don't decide that.
Cops do.
342
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,560
I'm not a thief!
343
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,320
So say all the thieves.
344
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,360
Where's Mr. Pandey?
345
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,160
He's out, on his rounds.
346
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,360
Mr. Pandey!
347
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,400
-Mr. Pandey!
-Shut up, or I'll whack you!
348
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,520
You think I'm talking baloney?
349
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,680
Obviously!
350
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,200
Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?
351
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,120
On my planet...
352
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,320
There's no language on my planet.
353
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,160
We read minds.
There's no confusion.
354
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,120
Here, you utter something
and mean something else.
355
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,520
A two-letter word can have
four different meanings.
356
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:12,480
When you nod and say "oh,"
it means "Oh, that's cool."
357
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,880
When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news.
358
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,920
"Your mother-in-law is moving in."
"Oh!"
359
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:20,400
Shock.
360
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,240
When angry, you thunder.
361
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,800
"Oh! You'll pay for that blunder!"
362
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,960
And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!
363
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,360
"Oh! I see!"
364
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,000
As you hear the words,
you've got to watch the expression
365
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,000
to get the real meaning.
366
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:43,160
It's torture!
It took me six hours to learn Hindi.
367
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,240
A whole language in six hours?
368
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,760
No one let me hold hands.
369
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,360
Finally, a nice lady lent her hand.
370
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,200
I held it and transferred
her language into my system.
371
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,920
Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!
372
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,360
Is your hand a USB cable,
373
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,200
that transfers files between computers?
374
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,880
And your clothes!
375
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,080
Are faded jeans the rage
on your planet too?
376
00:34:10,159 --> 00:34:11,639
No!
377
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,120
On my planet...
378
00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:17,320
No one wears clothes on my planet.
379
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,320
Here, at first I thought...
380
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,120
your skins were
different from ours.
381
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,960
Some had sparkly hides,
382
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,639
some, jet black.
383
00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:33,520
Some hides were colorful.
Some, white.
384
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:38,280
Some hides were tight.
Some, baggy.
385
00:34:40,199 --> 00:34:42,639
Then one day, I found a car.
386
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,440
A dancing car.
387
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:55,159
That day I realized
our skins were the same.
388
00:34:55,840 --> 00:35:00,280
But yours are covered
with this thing called "Fashion."
389
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,360
Now I could mingle.
390
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,640
Yet I was mocked.
391
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,560
Look at him.
Half man, half woman!
392
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,160
Slowly, I got it.
393
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:25,080
There is men's fashion
and there is women's fashion.
394
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,240
A fashion for the day
395
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,600
and a fashion for the night.
396
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,520
Sporting fashion
397
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,360
and serving fashion.
398
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,960
With the clothes,
I found some photos.
399
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:56,000
It hit me. These photos meant survival.
400
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,520
You could swap them for food.
401
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,880
So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos.
402
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,680
What's this?
403
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,360
What are these for?
404
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,600
Why are you giving me this junk?
405
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,960
Right! Now we're talking!
406
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,920
Here you go.
407
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,880
I got it. This photo had value
on just one kind of paper.
408
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,400
On any other paper, it was worthless.
409
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,880
Dancing cars were widely available
for cash and clothes.
410
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,040
They were my bank,
and my tailor.
411
00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,960
Once, I got such a magnetic attire
412
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,080
that no photos were required.
413
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,240
The food was brought to me.
414
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,160
For you, Sir.
415
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:13,160
Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language.
416
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,040
Without it, every task was a trial.
417
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,360
Like telling this gentleman
418
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,200
that there was a defect
in his fashion.
419
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,640
I felt I had spoilt his fashion.
420
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,360
So I put it back the way it was.
421
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,960
I found him on the road.
422
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,800
Some scumbag
hit him and bolted.
423
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,840
Seems pretty okay.
424
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,720
But he isn't responding.
425
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,240
Has his eardrum called it a day?
426
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,720
Are you deaf?
427
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:24,520
He can hear alright, but he isn't talking.
428
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,280
Seems he's in a state of shock.
429
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,440
I'm afraid it could be memory loss.
430
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,680
Do you remember the scumbag who hit you?
431
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,000
Do you remember the license plate?
432
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,480
Do you remember anything at all?
433
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,640
Come, my friend.
Come with me.
434
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,480
Be my guest till you get your memory back.
435
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:31,720
Keep slamming your head.
436
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:37,240
One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back.
437
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,840
I've seen it in the movies.
438
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,360
To figure what he was
yapping about,
439
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,720
I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language into me.
440
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,480
Do you remember your wife--
441
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,240
Hey!
442
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,080
With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?
443
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:55,280
Wait a moment.
444
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,640
Look at my license.
445
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,480
Rogue, rascal, scumbag.
446
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,800
To return home
I had to hold someone's hand.
447
00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:29,080
Here comes my zany guest
448
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,480
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
449
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,960
Here comes my zany guest
450
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,400
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
451
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,920
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
Will surely get me killed!
452
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,200
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
453
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:59,480
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
454
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:07,520
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
455
00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:46,800
Tourist in tacky gear
Are you from near or far
456
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,120
From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar?
457
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,680
Tourist in tacky gear
Are you from near or far
458
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,800
From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar?
459
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:03,640
What was your name at school?
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
460
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:10,240
What was your name at school?
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
461
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:14,160
What's the zip code
Of your abode
462
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:17,520
Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground
463
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,120
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
Will surely get me killed!
464
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:24,600
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
465
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:31,600
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
466
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:39,600
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
467
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,520
This memory loss is a blessing
468
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,680
This memory loss is a blessing
469
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,160
Feuds forgotten
Lenders left guessing
470
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:56,840
Lovable lad
471
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,680
Innocent cad
472
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,200
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
473
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:08,600
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
474
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:17,360
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
475
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,560
The lusty lad
With a crazy fad
476
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,040
Hits on all
477
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,400
The lusty lad
With a crazy fad
478
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,720
Hits on all
479
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:52,280
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
480
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,160
Here comes the lusty lad!
481
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:55,600
Here comes the lusty lad!
482
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,000
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
483
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,400
I feel your pain, bro.
484
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,680
But don't go grabbing hands.
485
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:17,200
You may end up in a bed,
but most likely a hospital bed.
486
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,000
Don't give up,
I know the place for you.
487
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,800
Hand or foot, hold whatever.
488
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,760
No one will bash you here.
489
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,080
Come.
490
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,840
What a neighborhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women.
491
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,520
All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home.
492
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:56,080
Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper.
493
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,720
Pepper, take him to the honeymoon suite.
494
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,880
Pepper sat patiently all night.
495
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:54,000
And for six hours, I transferred
her language files into me.
496
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:59,680
From ABC to XYZ,
I drew in everything.
497
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:14,640
Is it your first time?
Kaput before you kicked off?
498
00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:20,720
Yes...
499
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,600
Where are you from?
500
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,200
Far, far away.
501
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,120
From a village you'd have never heard of.
502
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,760
But you speak my lingo.
503
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:41,800
Because I learnt it from you, sister.
504
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,640
Sister! You think this is a convent? Out!
505
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,680
Bro!
506
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,600
Bro, wake up!
507
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:53,600
Bro, wake up!
508
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:55,480
Bro!
509
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,000
You're talking!
510
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,800
Bro, I need your help.
511
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,920
Pepper cleared up your throat!
512
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,600
Bro, come with me.
513
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,520
Memory and making out
have a direct connection!
514
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:12,400
We should update the doctors.
"Get laid, get well!"
515
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,840
It's urgent, bro!
516
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,280
Okay, let's go.
517
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,360
Stop! Stop!
518
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:25,560
Stop, bro!
519
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,280
The jerk robbed me right here.
520
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,360
I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back.
521
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,560
-Is it precious?
-It's priceless!
522
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,560
The thief must be a local.
523
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,560
But he must have sold the loot in Delhi.
524
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,160
If he sells pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught.
525
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:50,920
Then I must go.
526
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:52,920
Where?
527
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:54,560
Delhi.
528
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,160
-Officer!
-Yeah?
529
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,560
-Somebody stole my remote control.
-Are you tipsy?
530
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,720
You're expecting the police force
to track your TV remote?
531
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,960
-It's not a TV remote!
-Then?
532
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,960
Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain.
533
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,560
Really precious.
534
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:36,520
-Where was it stolen?
-In Mandawa.
535
00:48:38,240 --> 00:48:39,800
The theft took place at Mandawa
536
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,080
and you're searching for
it in Delhi, you idiot?
537
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,280
The thief came to Delhi.
538
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,280
-So?
-So where's the thief?
539
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,200
Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million.
540
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,880
Police are humans, not God.
541
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,880
Police are humans, not God.
542
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,440
Only God can help you.
543
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,800
Only God can help you.
544
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,880
Surrender to God, you'll succeed.
545
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,440
Surrender to God.
546
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,760
Only God knows.
547
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,840
Only God knows.
548
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:11,840
Ask God, not me!
549
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,240
Ask God!
550
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,480
Trust in God, my child.
551
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,000
Trust in God, my child.
552
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:23,320
Who was this God chap?
Everyone said only He could help.
553
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,040
What I saw blew my mind.
554
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,760
Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!
555
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,280
Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses.
556
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:41,720
Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee.
557
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,640
My planet had no such facility.
558
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,600
I could not believe it!
So I decided to test it.
559
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,480
One take-away God.
560
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,840
Which one?
One for 20, 50, 100 or 500?
561
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,560
What's the difference between the
one for 20 and the one for 500?
562
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,800
Just the size.
Otherwise ditto.
563
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:07,240
The one for 20 is equally
efficient, right?
564
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,560
Okay, give me 15.
Nothing less.
565
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,720
God, I am famished.
Get me some food please.
566
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,200
I went bananas!
567
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,440
God actually worked!
Now I could go home.
568
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,400
God, my remote is stolen.
569
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,920
Please find it.
I want to go home.
570
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:08,440
God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput.
571
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,160
-What do you mean?
-Stick a new battery in.
572
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:12,360
Where does it go?
573
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,440
-It needs no battery.
-Then why is it off?
574
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,280
-Manufacturing defect?
-I make no defective stuff.
575
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,880
-You made this God?
-Of course! With my own hands.
576
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,160
Did you make God or did God make you?
577
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:33,320
He made us all.
I only make His statues.
578
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,520
Why the statues?
579
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,120
To worship Him.
To voice our problems.
580
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:43,640
Is there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?
581
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:49,080
God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly.
582
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:52,040
Directly?
Then why the statue?
583
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,560
What's with him?
584
00:51:55,720 --> 00:51:59,600
Do you want to bust my business?
What's your problem?
585
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:01,920
My remote is stolen, Sir.
586
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,360
I'm requesting God to find it.
But He doesn't reply.
587
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,720
-Are you tipsy?
-Meaning?
588
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,840
You're overloading this pint-sized God.
589
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,520
His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief.
590
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,560
Bother, the big God is inside the temple.
591
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,240
He'll run fast.
592
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:22,880
Offer Him coconut and some money.
He'll deliver.
593
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,840
That'll be 200.
594
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,080
Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done.
595
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,080
Two hours later,
I got the appointment.
596
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,640
God!
597
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:42,720
God, please get my remote back.
598
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,560
-Where is it?
-Move!
599
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,440
Wait, He didn't deliver my stuff.
600
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,880
He didn't deliver!
I paid the fee.
601
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,920
-Your work will be done.
-But when?
602
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,360
Can't say when, but it will be done.
603
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,160
-Move!
-But when will I get it?
604
00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:02,680
Don't block the line, scram!
605
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,440
If I scram, He might
give it to someone else.
606
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,200
-Are you tipsy?
-Lady, please!
607
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,160
Where will I get my stuff?
608
00:53:10,240 --> 00:53:12,000
At the mental hospital!
609
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,840
What? I paid here and the
delivery at the mental hospital?
610
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,160
-Throw him out!
-At least give me a receipt.
611
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,240
How will I claim my delivery
without a receipt?
612
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:24,480
Get out!
613
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,200
-But what about my remote?
-Leave!
614
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,400
I can't find my shoes.
615
00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:40,760
Somebody might've taken them.
Now you take your pick.
616
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,320
Rotation is a routine at temples.
617
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,440
He took the payment,
but didn't deliver.
618
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:06,160
What's his name?
619
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,360
-They call Him God.
-Real name?
620
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,080
No idea.
621
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:12,880
Where does he live?
622
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,440
In that temple.
623
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:19,280
-You handed him the cash?
-No. I put it in His box.
624
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,840
-Did he say he'd do the job?
-He says nothing.
625
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:23,560
Is he mute?
626
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,360
Perhaps...
Maybe.
627
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:27,440
Oh.
628
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:30,120
Describe him.
629
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:34,880
Ditto.
630
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,560
But a bigger chap.
631
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:41,760
Come closer.
632
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:44,920
Are you tipsy?
633
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,320
Yes. But how do you all know?
634
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,800
Do you think I'm a jackass?
I've been a cop for 20 years.
635
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:54,960
I can tell in a snap
who's tipsy and who's not.
636
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,720
Kirpal, frisk him.
637
00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:02,600
-Let me have a look.
-Sir.
638
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:05,800
Dr. D'Mello.
639
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:11,000
Doc, why get so buzzed
that you forget your faith?
640
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,840
Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?
641
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:19,760
Go to church.
To your own God.
642
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:22,640
Church?
643
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:11,360
Get out of here!
644
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,440
-My stuff! My remote!
-Get out!
645
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,680
God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!
646
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,960
Crucified! When?
647
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,800
2,000 years ago.
648
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,080
What did I do?
I just got here.
649
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,560
-Are you tipsy?
-Yes!
650
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:35,480
He's watching your behavior.
651
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,480
Where?
652
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,080
Where is God?
653
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,000
What's in that mug?
654
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,400
Wine!
Now I got it!
655
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,800
God was bored of coconut water.
656
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,680
Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive.
657
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:55,800
So I had to muster money.
658
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:01,880
I got some from the dancing car.
And some from a gentleman
659
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,760
who held out a bowl of dole everyday.
660
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,240
You could withdraw as per your need.
661
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,520
Sir, is there a God's house nearby?
662
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:30,960
Right there.
663
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:36,280
Preacher, let me drink
664
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,760
In God's abode
665
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:50,920
Or show me a place
Where there is no God
666
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,880
Stop!
What's that?
667
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,800
Wine, for God.
668
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:57,280
Where is He?
669
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,680
This lady looked very sad.
670
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,640
To know why,
I grabbed her hand.
671
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,360
Hitting on a widow, you lech!
672
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:46,560
Widow?
How do you know?
673
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:48,800
Don't you see she's clad in white?
674
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,880
I am so sorry your husband's dead.
675
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,440
-What?
-When?
676
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,520
How do I know?
You are clad in white.
677
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,440
Brides wear white!
678
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:19,000
No, widows wear white.
679
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:21,360
-Widows wear black, stupid!
-Got it?
680
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,760
-Are your husbands no more?
-Oh, God!
681
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,280
I'm alive, you moron!
I'll whack you!
682
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:43,440
After many whacks, I learnt
that there wasn't one God.
683
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,360
There were many Gods.
684
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,760
Each with His own set of rules.
685
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,360
Each God had come up with His own company.
686
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,840
They called it religion.
687
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:56,200
Each company had its agents.
688
00:59:56,480 --> 01:00:01,320
All Earthlings belonged to some religion
689
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:06,080
and followed the God
of that religion alone.
690
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:10,120
What was my religion?
Who was my God?
691
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,440
To find the remote
I had to know my God.
692
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:30,400
What are you doing?
693
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,160
Where is the label?
694
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:34,160
What label?
695
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,240
The religion label.
696
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,560
How do you know which
company he belongs to?
697
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:41,560
Where does God label them?
698
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,840
Finding my religion was tough.
699
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:58,960
So I decided to worship all Gods.
700
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,840
Perhaps, one of them would
be my God, who'd help me.
701
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:09,160
It's You who governs
The world I hear
702
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:15,160
Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me
703
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:20,520
God where are You?
704
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:27,680
Tell me, where are You?
705
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:35,120
You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way
706
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:41,040
I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray
707
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:46,080
God where are You?
708
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:53,440
Tell me, where are You?
709
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:23,080
Shall I worship You in temples?
710
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:26,360
In mosques do my faith I show?
711
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:32,800
Or to a Gurudwara
would You like me to go?
712
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:39,160
Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere
713
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:45,480
My hope now,
Has turned to despair
714
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:50,760
My hope now,
Has turned to despair
715
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:58,080
My hope now,
Has turned to despair
716
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:07,720
Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout
717
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:14,400
Like millions around
I submit without a doubt
718
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:19,600
God where are You?
719
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:26,120
Tell me, where are You?
720
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:59,600
You have many names
And many faces too
721
01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:05,800
I've walked each of the myriad
Paths which lead to You
722
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:12,720
In no shrine did I find You
723
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:18,160
What else should I do to find you?
Give a clue
724
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:24,760
What else should I do to find you?
Give a clue
725
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:31,040
What else should I do to find you?
Give a clue
726
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:41,440
I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure
727
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:47,920
Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure
728
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:52,800
God, where are You?
729
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:59,080
Tell me, where are You?
730
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:06,240
God, where are You?
731
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:13,720
Tell me, where are You?
732
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,360
God, I'm all confused.
733
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:31,760
What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?
734
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:35,760
Understand my plight.
735
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:37,480
Give me some guidance.
736
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:39,640
Please.
737
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,840
Shall I talk to you with my hands clasped,
738
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:49,640
or on bent knees,
head to the ground?
739
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:54,200
Do I wake you with temple bells?
740
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,880
Or call out on a loudspeaker?
741
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:03,040
The Geeta, the Quran,
or the Bible, what do I read?
742
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:07,440
Your different managers
say different things.
743
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:12,400
Some insist fasting on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday.
744
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:17,480
Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise.
745
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:22,000
Some say, worship the cow.
Others say, slaughter her.
746
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:27,880
Some send me barefoot to the temple.
Some, wearing shoes to the church.
747
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:30,880
What is right and what is wrong?
748
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:33,560
I am clueless.
749
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,680
I'm at a breaking point.
750
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,000
I want to go home.
751
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:46,520
I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home.
752
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:48,680
Please.
753
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:51,760
Say something.
754
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:54,920
At least one of you...
755
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:57,280
give me an answer.
756
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,000
Please.
757
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:02,280
Please.
758
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:06,120
Please.
759
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:17,920
MISSING: GOD.
760
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:27,400
MISSING: GOD.
761
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,680
Why the lock, man?
762
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,760
I won't let you go today!
763
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:16,560
Open it!
It's my entry!
764
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:20,359
Lord Shiva, the slayer of sins,
who fears none...
765
01:08:22,439 --> 01:08:25,279
-Who are you?
-Don't you recognize me?
766
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:27,520
I'm Tipsy!
767
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,479
Where the hell is the security?
768
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:34,520
Do I perform for drunkards in the toilet?
769
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,840
Unlock the door!
Right now!
770
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,520
First give me my remote!
771
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:43,720
-What remote?
-The remote of my spaceship.
772
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:45,160
Spaceship?
773
01:08:45,319 --> 01:08:48,600
Did you forget?
For the zillionth time,
774
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:51,720
I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet.
775
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:52,960
Put this away!
776
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:56,960
Give me my remote,
and I go home. Got it?
777
01:08:57,240 --> 01:09:00,520
Brother, let me go.
I've little kids at home.
778
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:02,920
I know!
You fathered two Gods.
779
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,479
Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone.
780
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:08,279
First my remote,
then your family reunion.
781
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:10,560
Oh, God, please save me!
782
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,240
There's a God above you, too?
783
01:09:12,319 --> 01:09:13,640
Lord Shiva, help!
784
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:14,720
Where is he?
785
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:21,960
Help!
786
01:09:25,359 --> 01:09:26,359
Help!
787
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:34,920
Help!
788
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:37,640
Help!
789
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,240
Hail Lord Shiva...
790
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:19,360
-Hail Lord Shiva.
-Hail Lord Shiva!
791
01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:24,840
I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the Himalayas...
792
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,280
and suddenly, there was light!
793
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:30,480
Dazzling light!
794
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:36,560
It came from a bead
lying in the snow.
795
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:41,000
I shut my eyes and invoked God.
796
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:44,520
Next moment,
I was connected.
797
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,480
I said, "God, enlighten me.
798
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:49,680
What is this miraculous object,
799
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:53,040
that is warm even in this biting cold?"
800
01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:54,720
God said,
801
01:10:54,800 --> 01:10:59,480
"It's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace.
802
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:05,160
Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple.
803
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:11,200
Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering."
804
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:14,360
Hail Lord Shiva.
805
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,920
Are you ready for the sighting of...
806
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:20,600
the divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace?
807
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:23,920
Hail Lord Shiva!
808
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:28,480
Hail Lord Shiva.
809
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:33,120
Hail Lord Shiva!
810
01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:44,080
Hail Lord Shiva!
811
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,080
Hail Lord Shiva!
812
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:48,240
-Stop.
-Let him through.
813
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:51,160
He's awed by the sight.
814
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:53,160
-Come.
-Hail Lord Shiva.
815
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:56,480
Not there, child.
Come here.
816
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,400
Express your ecstasy.
817
01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:00,840
Hail Lord Shiva.
818
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:04,280
Hail Lord Shiva.
819
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,920
God, where are you?
Please step out,
820
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:08,920
I want to thank you.
821
01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:11,800
He's right here.
822
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:13,880
I met Him in the toilet.
823
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,520
I asked for my property
and He bolted.
824
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:18,560
I thought He vamoosed.
825
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:22,240
But, no!
He led me to my property.
826
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:24,880
Hail Lord Shiva.
827
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,800
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead.
828
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:30,720
It's my property,
misdelivered to you.
829
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:32,720
Your bead must be
misdelivered too.
830
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:34,320
Ask God, He is right here.
831
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,600
God, do step forward, clarify.
832
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:42,120
Anyway, I'll take my property.
833
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:48,040
That's mine!
Why are you stopping me?
834
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:53,880
-Hail Lord Shiva.
-Hail Lord Shiva!
835
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:09,200
A traveler of dreams...
836
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:13,400
Neither a devotee, nor an unbeliever
837
01:13:14,880 --> 01:13:19,120
Oh Lord, tell me
838
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:23,600
Where am I?
839
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:29,200
Why do you play this game
Of hide and seek with me?
840
01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:33,560
Please take me home
841
01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:38,640
My heart is lost
842
01:13:38,960 --> 01:13:43,480
My heart is lost
843
01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:55,480
Since when have you felt
that you're from another planet?
844
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:03,560
Listen, you need to see a psychiatrist.
845
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,360
Time up! That's all you
get for 500 rupees.
846
01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:08,440
Just a minute.
847
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:17,000
Here's my card.
848
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:21,600
My number's on it. If you wish,
I'll get you an appointment.
849
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:24,400
Feel free to call. Okay?
850
01:14:29,280 --> 01:14:31,320
Thank you, Mr. Pandey.
851
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,800
You think my story is a lie, don't you?
852
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:41,880
Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku!
853
01:14:42,440 --> 01:14:44,840
That's the story for you.
854
01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:54,800
Mr. Pandey,
I need to go back in for 2 minutes.
855
01:14:55,520 --> 01:14:58,600
Quit going in and out!
856
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,560
Another 500 and he's all yours.
857
01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:07,280
When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?
858
01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:09,280
You didn't.
859
01:15:09,440 --> 01:15:11,400
So how do you know?
860
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:16,400
When you held my hand,
I read your thoughts.
861
01:15:17,280 --> 01:15:19,000
You thought,
"This story is dead.
862
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:20,640
I got to live with the Nikku story."
863
01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:23,600
Don't lie!
I must have mentioned it.
864
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:27,040
I cannot lie.
Lying needs language.
865
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:29,520
And on my planet, we hold
hands and read minds.
866
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:32,720
-Give me your hand.
-No way.
867
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:35,280
-Try it.
-Help me, son.
868
01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:40,520
My wife's ill. The hospital wants
a deposit of 10,000 rupees.
869
01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:44,680
I'm short of 500.
Please help me...
870
01:15:44,760 --> 01:15:46,320
Let me give you some money.
871
01:15:47,480 --> 01:15:49,360
-Here.
-Give me your address.
872
01:15:49,480 --> 01:15:50,880
I'll courier a check.
873
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:54,320
The courier won't reach my home.
Please keep it.
874
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:55,800
Thank you.
875
01:15:56,680 --> 01:15:57,760
Sir.
876
01:15:58,360 --> 01:16:01,280
Here's another 100.
For the tip.
877
01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:05,360
Bless you.
878
01:16:06,440 --> 01:16:10,160
This proves that you're no mind reader.
879
01:16:10,480 --> 01:16:15,360
You got conned.
There is no hospital around here.
880
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:16,800
I know!
881
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,720
He's gifting his wife a five star dinner.
882
01:16:19,800 --> 01:16:21,840
It's her 75th birthday.
883
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,600
She has never been to a fancy place.
884
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:27,520
He's been saving from
his pension for months.
885
01:16:27,640 --> 01:16:30,880
She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput.
886
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:33,720
With an excuse to go to the restroom,
he ran out for some bucks.
887
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:35,280
Another yarn!
888
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:39,400
Ma'am, on my planet, we don't lie!
889
01:16:40,320 --> 01:16:42,000
Anyway, it's up to you.
890
01:17:40,040 --> 01:17:41,560
-Here.
-Thank you, Sir.
891
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,320
One moment. Tip him.
892
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:48,840
Why hold back?
It's your birthday!
893
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:49,960
Thank you.
894
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:19,840
CONTACT: TIPSY,
THE AGRASEN STEP-WELL.
895
01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:45,200
I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie.
896
01:18:48,120 --> 01:18:49,440
Hope you haven't told anyone...
897
01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:59,160
Have you told anyone that you're an alien?
898
01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:00,360
No way!
899
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:05,080
They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!
900
01:19:06,880 --> 01:19:09,560
How come you told me?
901
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:12,600
Ever since I set foot on this planet
902
01:19:12,720 --> 01:19:15,760
everyone has taken money from me.
903
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:19,480
You were the first to give up
5000 rupees for me.
904
01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:23,320
I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust you.
905
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:28,680
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy.
906
01:19:30,080 --> 01:19:31,560
How?
907
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:35,880
I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home.
908
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,000
What are you goggling at?
909
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:26,480
You.
910
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,600
Aliens don't drop by my house everyday.
911
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:34,920
Does everyone on your planet
have stick-out ears?
912
01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:41,040
-Yup, ditto.
-And everyone roams around naked?
913
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:42,800
Isn't it weird?
914
01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:47,360
That crow is naked.
Does it look weird?
915
01:20:47,640 --> 01:20:49,840
But if it dons a tie,
it'd definitely look weird.
916
01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:55,760
Tipsy, I was up all night...
917
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:59,600
thinking how to get your remote back.
918
01:21:01,760 --> 01:21:03,960
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room no. 4.
919
01:21:05,960 --> 01:21:07,520
Isn't it the Fortis Hospital?
920
01:21:07,760 --> 01:21:10,480
You've been dialing the wrong
number since yesterday.
921
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:14,160
Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!
922
01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:16,880
So how do we get the remote?
923
01:21:21,160 --> 01:21:23,880
Hello, connect to Balbir Singh.
Room no. 4.
924
01:21:23,960 --> 01:21:27,000
-Sorry, Sir. You're late.
-What happened?
925
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:28,840
Balbir died this morning.
926
01:21:29,240 --> 01:21:33,320
What! How can a piles surgery be fatal?
927
01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:36,040
It is embarrassing,
but don't worry.
928
01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:38,360
We'll have "heart attack" written
on the death certificate.
929
01:21:38,440 --> 01:21:40,480
It shouldn't spoil
the family's reputation.
930
01:21:40,680 --> 01:21:42,800
-Come for the body.
-On my way.
931
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:44,280
-Okay, bye.
-Get the car--
932
01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:48,920
Why did you say that?
933
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:50,560
I'm doling out joy.
934
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:54,560
When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!
935
01:21:54,640 --> 01:21:55,640
What!
936
01:21:55,720 --> 01:22:00,080
I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank.
937
01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:03,360
-A prank?
-Tipsy, I was just kidding!
938
01:22:09,880 --> 01:22:10,960
Oh!
939
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:15,560
I got it! Someone is playing pranks.
940
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:18,280
When His Holiness dials God,
941
01:22:18,560 --> 01:22:21,640
cocking his head,
"God, enlighten me."
942
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:24,040
His calls are going to a wrong number.
943
01:22:24,720 --> 01:22:27,200
Someone out there is playing pranks.
944
01:22:27,400 --> 01:22:31,320
The real God wouldn't
call my remote a bead.
945
01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:39,040
Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput.
946
01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:41,680
All calls to God are going
to a wrong number!
947
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:44,080
-As in?
-I always used to think,
948
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:47,640
why would the real God
give such weird solutions?
949
01:22:48,040 --> 01:22:51,760
Why would He say,
"come rolling to me, then I'll help you!"?
950
01:22:52,160 --> 01:22:54,440
Aren't we God's children?
951
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:59,720
Would a father make his kids
roll for help?
952
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:01,440
I'm sure your dad would've never said
953
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:05,000
"Kiddo, you want a new dress?
Start rolling!"
954
01:23:05,720 --> 01:23:10,000
Why would He want to bathe in milk?
That's illogical!
955
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:16,440
And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?
956
01:23:16,640 --> 01:23:21,200
He'd say, "millions of my children
are starving on the streets.
957
01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:24,400
Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose shower."
958
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:28,280
I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you did.
959
01:23:29,160 --> 01:23:31,560
Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks.
960
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,640
I didn't clear his confusion...
961
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:36,680
for a crazy idea was forming in my head.
962
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:39,920
An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote.
963
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:42,680
Who's this Tipsy?
964
01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,040
That's a mystery.
965
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:47,600
But the way he sees this world is unique.
966
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:51,440
-As in?
-If he saw you smoking,
967
01:23:51,720 --> 01:23:54,160
he'd call the cops to say
that you're attempting suicide.
968
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:55,160
Why?
969
01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:57,280
The pack says "Smoking kills"
yet you puff away.
970
01:23:59,440 --> 01:24:01,360
So what's the big idea?
971
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:04,360
Face-off.
972
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:07,400
Between Tipsy and His Holiness.
973
01:24:07,800 --> 01:24:10,360
We'll take the face-off to TV.
974
01:24:10,880 --> 01:24:13,120
-Ratings will go through the roof!
-Jaggu.
975
01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:16,560
I have three trident marks
on my right bum.
976
01:24:16,960 --> 01:24:19,520
You want three more on
my left for balance?
977
01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:25,760
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness,
but gently explain, that...
978
01:24:26,160 --> 01:24:29,080
his calls to God
are going to a wrong number.
979
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,880
His Holiness will be stumped.
980
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:37,240
Tipsy's here.
Please meet him once.
981
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:40,040
I bet his queries will baffle you.
982
01:24:52,080 --> 01:24:53,880
Excuse me, you dropped this.
983
01:24:58,800 --> 01:25:00,920
That's not mine.
984
01:25:02,160 --> 01:25:04,240
Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavor.
985
01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:09,120
I hate strawberries, man.
Why don't you ask others?
986
01:25:09,240 --> 01:25:11,640
It's not mine.
Buzzed bozo!
987
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:14,840
Is this yours, Ma'am?
988
01:25:16,160 --> 01:25:19,600
-Check your purse if it's missing.
-Shameless cad!
989
01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:23,800
-Has to be yours.
-No, not mine.
990
01:25:23,880 --> 01:25:25,720
Tipsy, it's his.
991
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:29,360
Ask him about it. Come on in.
992
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:31,960
Come in.
993
01:25:34,560 --> 01:25:35,720
What's this?
994
01:25:36,800 --> 01:25:38,320
It's a condom.
995
01:25:38,560 --> 01:25:41,960
-What does it do?
-It controls the world's population.
996
01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:44,720
How?
997
01:25:45,160 --> 01:25:49,360
It has to be worn... while having sex.
998
01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:54,640
How does your wearing it
control the world's population?
999
01:25:54,720 --> 01:25:57,840
Not just me.
Millions wear it.
1000
01:25:58,000 --> 01:25:59,920
And they all borrow it from you?
1001
01:26:00,440 --> 01:26:01,640
Everyone has it.
1002
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:05,320
-I've a question.
-Go on, Tipsy.
1003
01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:10,280
When money is dropped, all run for it.
1004
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:14,560
But when a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?
1005
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:19,120
-Sex is a very private matter.
-Why?
1006
01:26:19,560 --> 01:26:22,360
You don't announce it to the world saying,
"I'm having sex today."
1007
01:26:23,640 --> 01:26:27,960
But, at weddings,
with fireworks and music bands,
1008
01:26:28,280 --> 01:26:31,480
why do they tell the whole town,
"I'm having sex today"?
1009
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:36,560
What's the matter?
1010
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:41,440
I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you.
1011
01:26:45,360 --> 01:26:47,760
Let's beat it before
he changes his mind.
1012
01:26:50,560 --> 01:26:54,320
Shield your holy bum, Your Holiness.
My trident is on its way.
1013
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:02,200
Tipsy, here His Holiness
connects his devotees to God
1014
01:27:02,280 --> 01:27:04,080
for solutions to their woes.
1015
01:27:04,440 --> 01:27:07,160
Listen carefully to his calls.
1016
01:27:07,280 --> 01:27:13,400
If you think the calls are going
to a wrong number, alert him.
1017
01:27:13,720 --> 01:27:17,120
-Will that get me my remote?
-Once he realizes
1018
01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:21,680
that the bead story is a prank,
he'll return your remote.
1019
01:27:21,800 --> 01:27:24,400
Good plan. Let's go.
1020
01:27:26,080 --> 01:27:28,960
To build a home for someone
is a holy deed.
1021
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:33,520
To build a home for God
is the holiest deed.
1022
01:27:33,880 --> 01:27:36,040
So donate for the temple.
1023
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:39,400
And see your woes flee.
1024
01:27:40,120 --> 01:27:43,520
Son, voice your woe.
1025
01:27:44,440 --> 01:27:45,800
Your Holiness,
1026
01:27:46,400 --> 01:27:48,840
my wife's been paralyzed
for six months.
1027
01:27:49,160 --> 01:27:52,680
The doctors have given up.
What should I--
1028
01:27:54,200 --> 01:27:55,680
God...
1029
01:27:56,400 --> 01:27:57,720
enlighten me.
1030
01:28:04,520 --> 01:28:05,880
Yes.
1031
01:28:09,040 --> 01:28:10,400
What place?
1032
01:28:15,800 --> 01:28:17,360
What transport?
1033
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:22,400
Your wish is our command.
1034
01:28:25,040 --> 01:28:27,520
Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?
1035
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:28,760
No.
1036
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:33,440
It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to Silliguri...
1037
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:36,920
then a bus to Gangtok.
1038
01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:42,040
Then an eight day trek.
1039
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:46,640
You'll reach a grand temple.
1040
01:28:47,920 --> 01:28:51,000
Pray there,
your problem will be solved.
1041
01:28:51,120 --> 01:28:53,480
Wrong number!
This is a wrong number!
1042
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:55,560
-What?
-Wrong number!
1043
01:28:55,880 --> 01:29:01,000
Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput.
1044
01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,720
Your calls are going to
a wrong number
1045
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:07,600
and a fake God is playing pranks.
1046
01:29:07,760 --> 01:29:10,840
What are you trying to say?
1047
01:29:11,160 --> 01:29:13,920
I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?
1048
01:29:14,560 --> 01:29:15,560
Yes, so?
1049
01:29:15,680 --> 01:29:19,240
If your kid's in trouble
and asks for a solution
1050
01:29:19,640 --> 01:29:22,200
would you help him promptly,
or would you say,
1051
01:29:22,360 --> 01:29:25,560
"Kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away.
1052
01:29:25,720 --> 01:29:28,640
Come there and tell me
the same problem again.
1053
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:31,240
Then I'll solve it."
What bull!
1054
01:29:31,520 --> 01:29:33,440
If the call went to the real God,
1055
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:36,720
He'd say, "Son, tend to your ailing wife.
1056
01:29:36,920 --> 01:29:39,160
Don't run after me.
1057
01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,280
After death, you'll come to me anyway.
1058
01:29:42,440 --> 01:29:45,920
Give her your time now."
Right?
1059
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:52,440
I can prove it's a prank.
1060
01:29:52,600 --> 01:29:55,760
Call this fake God again and ask,
1061
01:29:55,920 --> 01:29:58,480
what's the guarantee
that she will get well.
1062
01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:02,680
Sir, don't leave her side
till you get it in writing.
1063
01:30:02,760 --> 01:30:05,720
Just call, and clear all the doubts.
1064
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:09,800
It's time for His Holiness' holy silence.
1065
01:30:10,960 --> 01:30:15,080
Praise be to God
1066
01:30:15,240 --> 01:30:18,840
Glory be to God
1067
01:30:19,000 --> 01:30:22,320
The woes of your devotees...
1068
01:30:22,560 --> 01:30:27,400
This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead.
1069
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:33,800
He is no God.
He is a fraud.
1070
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:37,160
He is a fraud!
1071
01:30:37,240 --> 01:30:40,760
God doesn't talk to us mortals.
1072
01:30:41,320 --> 01:30:44,920
He communicates
through His managers.
1073
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:47,840
-Tipsy has raised a big question.
-What?
1074
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:53,080
Is God really talking
to the managers?
1075
01:30:53,200 --> 01:30:54,040
No.
1076
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:58,320
So where do these commands come from?
1077
01:30:58,560 --> 01:31:02,000
-From a wrong number!
-So what should the public do?
1078
01:31:02,200 --> 01:31:05,840
Till the phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers.
1079
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:08,440
Help each other in difficult times.
1080
01:31:08,800 --> 01:31:10,080
A great tip from Tipsy.
1081
01:31:10,480 --> 01:31:15,600
Don't rely on God's managers.
1082
01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:18,240
Rely on each other.
1083
01:31:20,760 --> 01:31:25,400
-Hail Lord Shiva.
-Hail Lord Shiva.
1084
01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:27,640
Tipsy says that you
shouldn't build the temple,
1085
01:31:27,720 --> 01:31:30,000
because that bead belongs to him.
1086
01:31:30,080 --> 01:31:31,480
What's in your pocket?
1087
01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:37,120
-Do you smoke?
-Yes.
1088
01:31:37,400 --> 01:31:41,400
-Do you consume alcohol?
-Occasionally.
1089
01:31:41,560 --> 01:31:44,640
You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcohol
1090
01:31:44,720 --> 01:31:48,160
despite knowing their fatal effects.
1091
01:31:48,960 --> 01:31:51,160
Governments permit these poisons,
1092
01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:56,520
factories manufacture them,
stores sell them.
1093
01:31:56,600 --> 01:31:58,840
And nobody questions this.
1094
01:31:59,040 --> 01:32:01,520
But in this sacred land
1095
01:32:01,640 --> 01:32:06,200
of Lord Rama and Krishna
1096
01:32:06,280 --> 01:32:09,000
where I wish to build a temple...
1097
01:32:09,720 --> 01:32:11,720
why am I being asked these questions?
1098
01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:16,040
Why not question the man
1099
01:32:16,120 --> 01:32:19,400
who is trying to stall this temple?
1100
01:32:19,680 --> 01:32:21,240
Who's this Tipsy?
1101
01:32:21,680 --> 01:32:23,640
What's his real name?
1102
01:32:24,920 --> 01:32:28,440
Why is he hiding it? Is he a Muslim?
1103
01:32:29,560 --> 01:32:33,640
If you must question,
go ask Tipsy
1104
01:32:33,760 --> 01:32:35,440
what is his religion?
1105
01:32:35,720 --> 01:32:39,320
Find out his religion.
Find out his faith.
1106
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:45,360
Centuries ago,
Mohammad of Ghazni...
1107
01:32:46,160 --> 01:32:48,120
came and destroyed our temples.
1108
01:32:48,760 --> 01:32:53,080
Today, another invader
wants to repeat history.
1109
01:32:53,240 --> 01:32:54,360
But we won't allow...
1110
01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:24,480
Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him
1111
01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:27,040
the religions of these people.
1112
01:33:27,120 --> 01:33:31,240
-What nonsense!
-Call up your God!
1113
01:33:31,320 --> 01:33:35,680
Why bother God?
I'll tell you.
1114
01:33:35,920 --> 01:33:37,800
This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian.
1115
01:33:37,920 --> 01:33:39,720
Sikh, Jain
1116
01:33:39,840 --> 01:33:42,640
and... she is of your religion.
1117
01:33:44,200 --> 01:33:46,760
Enlighten him.
1118
01:33:47,200 --> 01:33:50,480
Hello, I'm Sikh.
1119
01:33:50,760 --> 01:33:53,920
Greetings. I'm Muslim.
1120
01:33:54,280 --> 01:33:56,240
I am Jain.
1121
01:33:56,320 --> 01:33:58,640
Hi, I'm Christian.
1122
01:33:59,200 --> 01:34:02,040
Hello! I'm Hindu.
1123
01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:04,240
Bamboozled!
1124
01:34:04,560 --> 01:34:08,080
I swapped their robes.
Got it?
1125
01:34:08,280 --> 01:34:10,080
Faith is connected to fashion.
1126
01:34:10,240 --> 01:34:13,240
Want a demo?
Check the math.
1127
01:34:13,920 --> 01:34:16,480
Beard + mustache + turban = Sikh.
1128
01:34:16,920 --> 01:34:19,480
Minus turban = Hindu.
1129
01:34:19,680 --> 01:34:22,760
Minus mustache = Muslim!
1130
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:26,280
This difference is made by the fake God.
1131
01:34:26,600 --> 01:34:28,840
If the real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us.
1132
01:34:28,920 --> 01:34:31,800
-Is there a label on your body?
-Mine?
1133
01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:34,880
Don't gape, strip and check!
1134
01:34:35,280 --> 01:34:37,120
Why be coy?
1135
01:34:37,480 --> 01:34:42,240
Everyone strip and show His Holiness.
Is there any label?
1136
01:34:42,640 --> 01:34:45,760
Cut the coyness.
Okay, I'll go first.
1137
01:34:48,720 --> 01:34:49,720
Look.
1138
01:34:52,400 --> 01:34:57,080
Is there a label?
Is there?
1139
01:34:57,720 --> 01:35:00,040
Is there a label? Check some more.
1140
01:35:01,520 --> 01:35:03,560
Remove this ruffian.
1141
01:35:03,760 --> 01:35:06,920
-Get out!
-Hey! I'm proving a point.
1142
01:35:07,040 --> 01:35:09,160
Start the chants!
1143
01:35:09,240 --> 01:35:11,800
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1144
01:35:11,880 --> 01:35:15,640
Why don't you understand?
That's no divine bead.
1145
01:35:23,080 --> 01:35:24,120
Jaggu!
1146
01:35:25,200 --> 01:35:26,600
Stop this farce!
1147
01:35:26,960 --> 01:35:28,000
Papa?
1148
01:35:30,120 --> 01:35:34,080
You were only 40 days old when
His Holiness christened you.
1149
01:35:34,320 --> 01:35:37,920
Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too.
1150
01:35:38,560 --> 01:35:40,720
Papa, he named me Jagat Janani.
1151
01:35:41,040 --> 01:35:42,440
How can he ruin it further?
1152
01:35:44,200 --> 01:35:45,600
Name your price!
1153
01:35:45,800 --> 01:35:46,600
Papa!
1154
01:35:46,680 --> 01:35:49,440
Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money, aren't you?
1155
01:35:49,520 --> 01:35:50,320
No.
1156
01:35:50,400 --> 01:35:54,480
You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!
1157
01:35:59,920 --> 01:36:02,480
Thank you, Papa!
Thank you.
1158
01:36:03,240 --> 01:36:06,640
I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together.
1159
01:36:06,920 --> 01:36:08,440
Fear is the key.
1160
01:36:08,720 --> 01:36:13,880
The prankster is cashing in on fear.
Get it?
1161
01:36:14,720 --> 01:36:16,800
Not exactly,
but can you explain it to Papa?
1162
01:36:16,920 --> 01:36:20,720
You bet! I can prove it.
Follow me.
1163
01:36:21,720 --> 01:36:23,880
I don't have time for this nonsense.
1164
01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:27,440
If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show.
1165
01:36:40,320 --> 01:36:44,520
Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff.
1166
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:48,680
Now, we'll establish our business:
The Fear Factory.
1167
01:36:51,240 --> 01:36:52,200
Come on.
1168
01:37:00,240 --> 01:37:02,520
Machine installed.
1169
01:37:07,360 --> 01:37:09,120
A little seed capital.
1170
01:37:13,840 --> 01:37:16,360
Now the inauguration.
1171
01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:30,120
Just watch! The capital
shall double in 15 minutes.
1172
01:37:36,400 --> 01:37:37,840
Look there.
1173
01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:41,400
The first customer.
1174
01:37:41,840 --> 01:37:44,200
Tea! Piping hot tea!
1175
01:37:44,320 --> 01:37:47,800
Check the investment of the tea vendor.
1176
01:37:48,120 --> 01:37:51,320
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike, thermos...
1177
01:37:51,520 --> 01:37:55,040
And here, a rock and a red mark.
1178
01:37:55,360 --> 01:37:57,080
Tea! Piping hot tea!
1179
01:37:57,160 --> 01:37:59,400
There, you've got to woo the clients.
1180
01:37:59,560 --> 01:38:02,320
Here you've got to shoo them away.
1181
01:38:02,400 --> 01:38:06,080
Hey, scram.
Give others a chance
1182
01:38:09,040 --> 01:38:11,280
There you bow before the customer.
1183
01:38:11,480 --> 01:38:13,680
Here the customer bows before you.
1184
01:38:16,080 --> 01:38:20,040
If he's in deep trouble,
he'll lie before you!
1185
01:38:21,040 --> 01:38:25,280
The wrong number guy trades in fear.
1186
01:38:25,640 --> 01:38:28,560
He knows,
"Those in dread, to the temple head."
1187
01:38:29,240 --> 01:38:31,120
You too, seem afraid!
Off with these.
1188
01:38:33,360 --> 01:38:35,760
Do not question religion.
1189
01:38:36,320 --> 01:38:38,360
It's a matter of faith!
1190
01:38:38,520 --> 01:38:40,880
If God didn't want us
to raise questions
1191
01:38:41,280 --> 01:38:45,160
He wouldn't have given us
the power to reason.
1192
01:38:45,520 --> 01:38:48,920
Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us.
1193
01:38:49,400 --> 01:38:52,840
They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent.
1194
01:38:53,480 --> 01:38:57,440
So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there will be a thousand.
1195
01:38:58,360 --> 01:39:00,880
Friends, pick up your phones.
1196
01:39:01,160 --> 01:39:04,040
When you spot a wrong number,
1197
01:39:04,200 --> 01:39:06,000
shoot it and send it to us.
1198
01:39:06,400 --> 01:39:08,240
We'll put it on TV.
1199
01:39:08,760 --> 01:39:10,480
Dump your fear, ask questions.
1200
01:39:20,080 --> 01:39:21,640
Holy Sir!
1201
01:39:22,280 --> 01:39:23,560
One question.
1202
01:39:23,640 --> 01:39:25,920
If you can conjure gold from thin air
1203
01:39:26,120 --> 01:39:28,800
why don't you end the nation's poverty?
1204
01:39:29,000 --> 01:39:30,880
Answer, please.
1205
01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:32,520
Holy Sir!
1206
01:39:32,600 --> 01:39:38,280
Since you're a walking gold mine,
why do you ask us for donations?
1207
01:39:39,600 --> 01:39:41,840
God is great!
1208
01:39:42,120 --> 01:39:44,240
This is a wrong number.
1209
01:39:44,320 --> 01:39:46,080
Jaggu, come with me.
1210
01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:51,800
Come.
1211
01:39:51,960 --> 01:39:53,960
The wrong number idea
is a national rage.
1212
01:39:54,240 --> 01:39:56,760
-What!
-It's spread like wild fire.
1213
01:39:56,880 --> 01:39:57,680
Come, take a look!
1214
01:40:03,200 --> 01:40:05,400
Guru said that to land a job
I should feed a cow.
1215
01:40:05,640 --> 01:40:09,040
Is this cow an employment agent?
1216
01:40:09,240 --> 01:40:12,800
Or will it post my résumé on Monster.com?
It's a wrong number.
1217
01:40:12,880 --> 01:40:14,000
Watch this one!
1218
01:40:14,640 --> 01:40:17,280
He says, convert to Christianity,
or be damned.
1219
01:40:17,400 --> 01:40:20,880
If God wanted,
I would've been Christian by birth.
1220
01:40:21,240 --> 01:40:23,640
Why convert now?
It's a wrong number.
1221
01:40:24,920 --> 01:40:26,800
These girls want to go to school.
1222
01:40:26,880 --> 01:40:29,920
A new dictate says,
"Kill them if they do."
1223
01:40:30,040 --> 01:40:34,640
Is God so inconsiderate that
He'll deny knowledge to children?
1224
01:40:34,960 --> 01:40:35,920
It's a wrong number.
1225
01:40:37,200 --> 01:40:40,600
What God has destined for you will happen.
1226
01:40:40,880 --> 01:40:44,960
He has a master plan for the universe.
1227
01:40:45,240 --> 01:40:46,920
You have to accept it.
1228
01:40:47,000 --> 01:40:51,600
Your disciples say,
"To get a male child,
1229
01:40:51,680 --> 01:40:55,960
buy this book,
and chant the mantras."
1230
01:40:56,200 --> 01:40:59,680
So buy a 10 rupee book
1231
01:40:59,760 --> 01:41:02,440
and bust God's master plan!
1232
01:41:11,320 --> 01:41:15,320
Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in.
1233
01:41:15,920 --> 01:41:17,280
Here's another.
1234
01:41:21,920 --> 01:41:23,040
What happened?
1235
01:41:24,000 --> 01:41:25,040
It's from Papa.
1236
01:41:25,640 --> 01:41:27,360
He's ashamed that I'm his daughter.
1237
01:41:31,440 --> 01:41:33,920
You know, I was in tenth grade...
1238
01:41:34,920 --> 01:41:37,680
when I wrote my first poem.
1239
01:41:38,240 --> 01:41:39,640
It was for Papa.
1240
01:41:41,080 --> 01:41:46,240
"They say my Mom I resemble.
I say, possible.
1241
01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:50,040
But I'm my Daddy's girl."
1242
01:41:50,400 --> 01:41:52,800
I recited it on the Annual Day.
1243
01:41:53,240 --> 01:41:55,200
All the parents applauded.
1244
01:41:55,560 --> 01:41:59,280
But one whistled with joy.
1245
01:42:00,600 --> 01:42:03,720
The applause ended,
but the whistling continued.
1246
01:42:05,480 --> 01:42:07,000
It was Papa.
1247
01:42:10,800 --> 01:42:12,360
And now this message.
1248
01:42:15,720 --> 01:42:20,680
There's a wrong number
in your Papa's head.
1249
01:42:21,240 --> 01:42:26,680
The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again.
1250
01:42:27,560 --> 01:42:28,640
It won't happen.
1251
01:42:29,160 --> 01:42:32,120
-Don't be sad. Come with me.
-Where?
1252
01:42:32,200 --> 01:42:35,560
On my planet, when people are sad,
this is what they do.
1253
01:42:36,680 --> 01:42:38,000
What are you doing, Tipsy?
1254
01:42:38,320 --> 01:42:40,920
Recharge the battery!
1255
01:42:41,120 --> 01:42:42,880
-What!
-Just copy me.
1256
01:42:43,000 --> 01:42:43,920
Tipsy...
1257
01:42:48,680 --> 01:42:50,320
What are we doing?
1258
01:42:56,600 --> 01:42:57,760
Shut your eyes.
1259
01:42:57,840 --> 01:42:59,240
Then how will I copy you?
1260
01:42:59,320 --> 01:43:01,160
Right.
Keep them open.
1261
01:44:31,760 --> 01:44:34,800
To steal glances of you all day
1262
01:44:34,880 --> 01:44:37,560
To strain for every word you say
1263
01:44:37,880 --> 01:44:40,920
To put every chore aside
1264
01:44:41,000 --> 01:44:43,960
And follow your every stride
1265
01:44:44,040 --> 01:44:46,520
That's nothing but a waste of time
1266
01:44:47,040 --> 01:44:49,720
Love is a waste of time
1267
01:44:50,160 --> 01:44:52,600
Amore is nothing more
1268
01:44:53,000 --> 01:44:55,920
Love is a waste of time
1269
01:44:56,400 --> 01:44:59,440
But my mind and heart insist
1270
01:44:59,520 --> 01:45:02,520
Once in this life at least
1271
01:45:02,600 --> 01:45:05,160
I must waste my time
1272
01:45:05,240 --> 01:45:08,240
Without reason or rhyme
1273
01:45:08,320 --> 01:45:11,240
I want to waste my time
1274
01:45:11,320 --> 01:45:14,240
I love this waste of time
1275
01:45:30,160 --> 01:45:34,720
A zillion peeps into the mirror
1276
01:45:36,320 --> 01:45:40,920
A million times
I've styled my hair
1277
01:45:42,480 --> 01:45:47,440
Countless sets of clothes I've tried
1278
01:45:48,600 --> 01:45:53,000
Emptied perfume bottles with flair
1279
01:45:54,560 --> 01:46:00,160
Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile
1280
01:46:00,960 --> 01:46:03,760
Now I understand
1281
01:46:03,840 --> 01:46:06,800
That love is a waste of time
1282
01:46:06,880 --> 01:46:09,920
But my mind and heart insist
1283
01:46:10,000 --> 01:46:13,120
Once in this life at least
1284
01:46:13,200 --> 01:46:15,720
I must waste my time
1285
01:46:15,800 --> 01:46:18,840
Without reason or rhyme
1286
01:46:18,920 --> 01:46:21,880
I want to waste my time
1287
01:46:21,960 --> 01:46:25,480
I love this waste of time
1288
01:46:59,280 --> 01:47:03,680
My world has Topsy-turvy turned
1289
01:47:05,440 --> 01:47:10,040
I know not how to tell you
1290
01:47:11,360 --> 01:47:16,680
I smile without rhyme or reason
1291
01:47:17,560 --> 01:47:22,400
What's happening I have no clue
1292
01:47:23,720 --> 01:47:29,400
The mind just wants to soar
And from roof-tops yell
1293
01:47:29,800 --> 01:47:35,880
Now I understand
Love is a waste of time
1294
01:47:35,960 --> 01:47:39,000
But my mind and heart insist
1295
01:47:39,080 --> 01:47:42,040
Once in this life at least
1296
01:47:42,120 --> 01:47:44,720
I must waste my time
1297
01:47:44,960 --> 01:47:47,520
Without reason or rhyme
1298
01:47:47,840 --> 01:47:50,920
I want to waste my time
1299
01:47:51,080 --> 01:47:54,560
I love this waste of time
1300
01:48:32,320 --> 01:48:35,400
The donation box is getting
more questions than cash.
1301
01:48:35,760 --> 01:48:39,520
Your relics don't sell anymore.
1302
01:48:40,800 --> 01:48:44,760
These are the negative comments
on Facebook and Twitter.
1303
01:48:46,200 --> 01:48:49,360
-Just five?
-Those are in support.
1304
01:48:49,880 --> 01:48:51,920
The abuses are in here.
1305
01:48:52,240 --> 01:48:56,760
It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous.
1306
01:49:02,680 --> 01:49:04,120
MISSING: GOD.
1307
01:49:04,680 --> 01:49:06,080
Call, Bajwa.
1308
01:49:06,520 --> 01:49:10,200
Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one.
1309
01:49:14,200 --> 01:49:15,600
His Holiness wants to come on the show.
1310
01:49:15,960 --> 01:49:17,320
To debate with Tipsy.
1311
01:49:18,040 --> 01:49:18,880
Tipsy will rip him!
1312
01:49:20,480 --> 01:49:21,440
Get Tipsy ready.
1313
01:49:29,360 --> 01:49:33,800
Don't miss, The Final Question.
Sunday, 6:00 p.m.
1314
01:49:33,880 --> 01:49:38,560
My pal's become a star!
Hey, look. He's become a star!
1315
01:49:38,640 --> 01:49:42,400
The star was roaming butt-naked.
1316
01:49:42,480 --> 01:49:47,600
I made him a star.
The bloke's on TV
1317
01:49:47,920 --> 01:49:53,800
and here I am, in a shitty shack
of this shanty town,
1318
01:49:54,240 --> 01:49:56,960
guzzling booze with
a jackass like you.
1319
01:49:57,080 --> 01:50:00,680
Star, my foot!
1320
01:50:16,040 --> 01:50:18,440
Tipsy, it's a call from Bhairon Singh.
1321
01:50:18,840 --> 01:50:19,920
Bhairon!
1322
01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:25,360
-Bro!
-You lusty lad.
1323
01:50:25,440 --> 01:50:27,400
You're a rock star!
1324
01:50:28,240 --> 01:50:29,600
Bro, where are you?
1325
01:50:29,840 --> 01:50:32,960
In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow.
1326
01:50:33,040 --> 01:50:35,680
With a gift for you.
1327
01:50:36,080 --> 01:50:40,160
I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff.
1328
01:50:40,560 --> 01:50:43,400
He sold it for 40 grand.
1329
01:50:44,080 --> 01:50:46,160
-Guess to who?
-Who?
1330
01:50:46,720 --> 01:50:48,200
His Holiness!
1331
01:50:51,960 --> 01:50:53,280
God said,
1332
01:50:53,640 --> 01:50:58,920
"It's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace.
1333
01:50:59,160 --> 01:51:03,000
Take it and enshrine it in a grand temple.
1334
01:51:03,080 --> 01:51:04,600
Sighting this bead--"
1335
01:51:04,680 --> 01:51:06,160
Hey!
1336
01:51:07,280 --> 01:51:09,400
What happened?
1337
01:51:09,880 --> 01:51:13,440
The thief who stole
my remote has been caught.
1338
01:51:15,320 --> 01:51:20,360
Bro said, the thief sold it
to His Holiness.
1339
01:51:20,560 --> 01:51:22,360
Then His Holiness is finished!
1340
01:51:22,960 --> 01:51:29,240
We'll tell him, "Return the remote,
or the thief tells all on TV."
1341
01:51:29,840 --> 01:51:32,520
So he didn't find my
remote in the Himalayas!
1342
01:51:32,600 --> 01:51:34,720
He's lying.
1343
01:51:36,040 --> 01:51:40,120
Wrong numbers are not
floated by some fake God,
1344
01:51:40,520 --> 01:51:41,880
but by His Holiness.
1345
01:51:44,880 --> 01:51:47,160
Did you know about this, Jaggu?
1346
01:51:47,440 --> 01:51:49,800
Do you remember the day you
mentioned wrong numbers to me?
1347
01:51:49,920 --> 01:51:54,720
All his calls are going
to a wrong number.
1348
01:51:54,960 --> 01:51:59,440
I knew that you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum.
1349
01:51:59,520 --> 01:52:03,280
If you would've called him a fraud,
people would've killed you.
1350
01:52:03,560 --> 01:52:05,520
People crave for the unique.
1351
01:52:05,680 --> 01:52:07,280
Wrong number!
1352
01:52:07,520 --> 01:52:10,440
Your "wrong number" concept was unique.
1353
01:52:10,520 --> 01:52:13,120
-Today the world supports you.
-This is a wrong number.
1354
01:52:13,200 --> 01:52:16,360
Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!
1355
01:52:22,040 --> 01:52:25,440
You'll fly away tomorrow, my friend.
1356
01:52:29,800 --> 01:52:32,520
We'll never meet again.
1357
01:52:34,000 --> 01:52:37,080
There will be such a void.
1358
01:52:42,600 --> 01:52:44,600
Should I stay back?
1359
01:52:47,240 --> 01:52:49,040
How can you?
1360
01:52:50,520 --> 01:52:53,280
I'm serious.
I have a job.
1361
01:52:54,200 --> 01:52:56,960
I'll get some ID made
and settle here.
1362
01:52:57,560 --> 01:53:01,720
I'll find someone to
"waste time" with me.
1363
01:53:02,200 --> 01:53:04,640
I'll marry her.
1364
01:53:04,840 --> 01:53:07,680
-Who will marry you?
-Why not?
1365
01:53:07,800 --> 01:53:12,120
Your wife will go nuts
introducing you.
1366
01:53:12,680 --> 01:53:16,080
"Meet my husband.
He's Tipsy!"
1367
01:53:17,280 --> 01:53:20,400
That's not my name!
Nonsense!
1368
01:53:20,480 --> 01:53:23,160
-Tipsy!
-I'll get a real name.
1369
01:53:24,280 --> 01:53:29,920
Why don't you suggest one?
A name you like.
1370
01:53:30,480 --> 01:53:36,080
A man's name must
match his personality.
1371
01:53:36,200 --> 01:53:37,760
Right!
1372
01:53:38,000 --> 01:53:40,480
So how is my personality?
1373
01:53:40,720 --> 01:53:42,640
Let me give you a demo.
1374
01:53:43,120 --> 01:53:45,160
A poet once wrote...
1375
01:53:47,400 --> 01:53:50,360
Irony of mismatched names.
1376
01:53:50,440 --> 01:53:53,640
No poetry, please!
I've something to say.
1377
01:53:54,160 --> 01:53:58,360
Who says,
"What's in a name?"
1378
01:53:58,440 --> 01:53:59,600
How do I make her understand?
1379
01:53:59,960 --> 01:54:03,640
If you don't get the right one
what a pain.
1380
01:54:04,480 --> 01:54:08,240
Mr. Burns is in fact so cool.
1381
01:54:08,560 --> 01:54:11,640
With violence alone Mr. Peace does rule.
1382
01:54:12,720 --> 01:54:18,120
His name is Mr. Fox
but has no bushy tail.
1383
01:54:18,960 --> 01:54:22,280
The name is Mr. Green,
but he's always pale.
1384
01:54:23,480 --> 01:54:27,760
One whole ton is the weight of Mr. Flower.
1385
01:54:28,120 --> 01:54:31,920
At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower.
1386
01:54:32,000 --> 01:54:33,720
Very nice. Very nice.
1387
01:54:33,800 --> 01:54:36,800
Here's a bunch of cards
with different names.
1388
01:54:37,560 --> 01:54:41,000
Pick the one you like.
1389
01:54:41,080 --> 01:54:43,760
Danduram Thatte?
1390
01:54:44,160 --> 01:54:46,560
-Disaster!
-Next!
1391
01:54:47,080 --> 01:54:48,720
Tutari Singh?
1392
01:54:51,840 --> 01:54:53,400
Sarfaraz...
1393
01:54:57,560 --> 01:55:00,120
-Sarfaraz.
-What happened?
1394
01:55:00,360 --> 01:55:03,040
Keep going,
find a good name.
1395
01:55:06,280 --> 01:55:07,840
What's the matter?
1396
01:55:08,400 --> 01:55:09,960
Nothing.
1397
01:56:15,640 --> 01:56:17,320
Brother!
1398
01:56:48,640 --> 01:56:52,200
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1399
01:56:52,520 --> 01:56:55,800
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1400
01:56:56,240 --> 01:57:00,200
Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around
1401
01:57:00,320 --> 01:57:04,440
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1402
01:57:11,840 --> 01:57:15,520
Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand
1403
01:57:15,640 --> 01:57:19,640
Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand
1404
01:57:19,720 --> 01:57:23,240
Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound...
1405
01:58:09,520 --> 01:58:12,880
A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast.
1406
01:58:12,960 --> 01:58:16,240
They say, "This was a mock drill.
1407
01:58:16,520 --> 01:58:19,320
Persecute our people,
and real war will follow.
1408
01:58:19,400 --> 01:58:22,440
We shall protect our God."
1409
01:58:42,800 --> 01:58:44,920
Where are you going, Tipsy?
1410
01:58:45,680 --> 01:58:46,880
On the show.
1411
01:58:47,160 --> 01:58:49,160
You don't have to.
1412
01:58:51,320 --> 01:58:53,800
I must, more than ever.
1413
01:59:07,640 --> 01:59:09,000
The Final Question.
1414
01:59:09,520 --> 01:59:12,800
Welcome to our special show
1415
01:59:12,880 --> 01:59:16,400
-where we'll meet Tipsy and--
-Wait a minute.
1416
01:59:22,040 --> 01:59:23,960
Bring it.
1417
01:59:29,240 --> 01:59:31,040
What is this?
1418
01:59:31,240 --> 01:59:35,720
God says, it's a divine bead
from His necklace.
1419
01:59:35,960 --> 01:59:39,480
This man claims, it's his property.
1420
01:59:40,200 --> 01:59:43,560
God says, build a temple.
1421
01:59:43,960 --> 01:59:47,200
And this man opposes it.
1422
01:59:47,520 --> 01:59:52,840
Who should I listen to?
God, or this gentleman
1423
01:59:53,080 --> 01:59:58,760
who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?
1424
02:00:00,040 --> 02:00:02,960
First he claimed, God is missing.
1425
02:00:03,600 --> 02:00:05,520
Then said, God is a fraud.
1426
02:00:05,760 --> 02:00:09,360
Next he'll say, God is dead.
1427
02:00:10,760 --> 02:00:16,080
What do you want, son?
A world without God?
1428
02:00:18,120 --> 02:00:22,480
Do you have any clue how people suffer?
1429
02:00:22,880 --> 02:00:25,080
People have no food to eat...
1430
02:00:25,600 --> 02:00:27,520
no place to live.
1431
02:00:28,440 --> 02:00:31,080
No friend to talk to.
1432
02:00:31,560 --> 02:00:37,880
People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings.
1433
02:00:38,440 --> 02:00:42,160
Why? Because they have no hope.
1434
02:00:42,520 --> 02:00:46,920
If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,
1435
02:00:47,560 --> 02:00:52,120
wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,
1436
02:00:52,400 --> 02:00:56,360
then who are you
to snatch away that hope?
1437
02:00:57,560 --> 02:01:01,840
And if you snatch away their God,
1438
02:01:02,040 --> 02:01:05,400
how will you fill that void?
1439
02:01:06,120 --> 02:01:10,000
This man rants about wrong numbers.
1440
02:01:10,440 --> 02:01:14,840
Today he must tell us,
what is the right number.
1441
02:01:23,520 --> 02:01:25,760
You are right, Your Holiness.
1442
02:01:27,160 --> 02:01:32,520
There was a time
when I too had no food to eat.
1443
02:01:33,200 --> 02:01:34,960
No place to live.
1444
02:01:35,480 --> 02:01:40,360
I used to cry a lot
because I had no friend.
1445
02:01:41,720 --> 02:01:44,840
The only thing I had, was hope.
1446
02:01:47,120 --> 02:01:48,960
God.
1447
02:01:49,760 --> 02:01:52,960
Each day I hoped,
tomorrow will be better.
1448
02:01:53,240 --> 02:01:55,960
God will find a solution.
1449
02:01:57,440 --> 02:02:04,120
I agree that believing
in God gives hope...
1450
02:02:05,280 --> 02:02:09,400
the strength to face ordeals.
1451
02:02:10,480 --> 02:02:12,920
But I have one question.
1452
02:02:15,600 --> 02:02:18,440
Which God should I believe in?
1453
02:02:19,360 --> 02:02:21,920
You say there is one God.
1454
02:02:23,480 --> 02:02:25,360
I say no.
1455
02:02:26,320 --> 02:02:27,800
There are two Gods.
1456
02:02:29,240 --> 02:02:31,320
One who created us.
1457
02:02:32,800 --> 02:02:36,440
And the other, whom you created.
1458
02:02:37,600 --> 02:02:40,600
We know nothing about
the God who made us.
1459
02:02:41,040 --> 02:02:45,560
But the God you made up,
is just like you.
1460
02:02:45,920 --> 02:02:50,240
Petty. Takes bribes,
makes false promises.
1461
02:02:50,400 --> 02:02:54,280
Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting.
1462
02:02:54,560 --> 02:02:57,800
Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear.
1463
02:02:59,720 --> 02:03:01,920
My right number is simple.
1464
02:03:03,280 --> 02:03:07,800
Believe in the God who created us.
1465
02:03:09,400 --> 02:03:12,640
And the God you created...
1466
02:03:13,520 --> 02:03:15,640
should be abolished.
1467
02:03:17,560 --> 02:03:21,600
You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?
1468
02:03:21,880 --> 02:03:25,800
I know how to protect my God.
1469
02:03:25,880 --> 02:03:27,800
You will protect God?
1470
02:03:28,240 --> 02:03:29,320
You!
1471
02:03:30,520 --> 02:03:32,160
This is a puny planet.
1472
02:03:32,720 --> 02:03:35,480
Billions of bigger planets
float in the space.
1473
02:03:35,680 --> 02:03:40,280
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to say
1474
02:03:40,480 --> 02:03:44,000
that you will protect Him?
The creator of the universe!
1475
02:03:45,040 --> 02:03:49,560
He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself.
1476
02:03:52,960 --> 02:03:58,240
Today someone tried to
protect their God and my friend died.
1477
02:03:59,160 --> 02:04:00,840
This is all that's left, his shoe.
1478
02:04:02,600 --> 02:04:04,680
Stop protecting God.
1479
02:04:05,200 --> 02:04:08,520
Or else this planet will have
no humans, only shoes.
1480
02:04:08,760 --> 02:04:11,080
A Muslim terrorist blows up a train
1481
02:04:11,960 --> 02:04:17,160
and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice.
1482
02:04:17,400 --> 02:04:22,120
What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label.
1483
02:04:23,320 --> 02:04:25,920
You created these differences, not God.
1484
02:04:26,560 --> 02:04:32,280
This is the deadliest
wrong number of this planet.
1485
02:04:32,560 --> 02:04:35,120
It kills people, separates them.
1486
02:04:35,560 --> 02:04:40,280
Like your wrong number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz.
1487
02:04:40,360 --> 02:04:46,160
-What wrong number?
-That Sarfaraz would betray her.
1488
02:04:46,480 --> 02:04:48,920
And he did betray her.
1489
02:04:49,000 --> 02:04:53,320
-Hold on. What's going on?
-Hold it.
1490
02:04:55,160 --> 02:05:02,120
Are you telling me that my prophecy
about Sarfaraz was wrong?
1491
02:05:02,200 --> 02:05:03,400
Exactly!
1492
02:05:03,480 --> 02:05:07,480
Then prove it.
Prove my prophecy wrong!
1493
02:05:07,560 --> 02:05:12,000
And if you fail,
you'll have to fall at my feet and admit
1494
02:05:12,120 --> 02:05:16,000
that you are a liar.
And that you tried to defame me.
1495
02:05:16,600 --> 02:05:18,720
What if I prove it?
1496
02:05:18,800 --> 02:05:20,040
No, Tipsy!
1497
02:05:26,320 --> 02:05:27,920
Then this shall be yours.
1498
02:05:33,640 --> 02:05:35,200
I accept.
1499
02:05:35,680 --> 02:05:40,200
Turn the cameras towards
Jagat Janani.
1500
02:05:46,080 --> 02:05:52,480
I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully.
1501
02:05:54,800 --> 02:05:59,680
In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy.
1502
02:06:01,080 --> 02:06:02,360
True or false?
1503
02:06:02,720 --> 02:06:04,800
Please spare my personal life.
1504
02:06:04,960 --> 02:06:09,120
On Friday, at 3:21 p.m.
1505
02:06:09,200 --> 02:06:13,280
I predicted that this
boy will betray you.
1506
02:06:13,600 --> 02:06:17,800
The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's office
1507
02:06:18,200 --> 02:06:20,000
but he didn't show up.
1508
02:06:20,440 --> 02:06:23,680
-True or false?
-Yes, he didn't come.
1509
02:06:27,360 --> 02:06:33,440
Now will you come to my feet
or should I walk up to you?
1510
02:06:33,520 --> 02:06:37,440
-Sarfaraz did not betray.
-Please let it go!
1511
02:06:37,520 --> 02:06:39,720
No. Tell us what happened that day.
1512
02:06:41,720 --> 02:06:44,880
Just once, for my sake.
1513
02:06:49,840 --> 02:06:52,880
I was at the
Marriage Registrar's office and...
1514
02:06:54,200 --> 02:06:56,520
-I received a letter.
-Did Sarfaraz bring it?
1515
02:06:59,000 --> 02:07:03,040
No. He sent it through a kid.
1516
02:07:03,120 --> 02:07:06,080
-Was it signed?
-No!
1517
02:07:06,160 --> 02:07:09,000
Then how do you know
that Sarfaraz sent it?
1518
02:07:12,800 --> 02:07:15,520
It could have been for some other girl.
1519
02:07:19,480 --> 02:07:23,720
There was another girl.
With a cat, right?
1520
02:07:25,560 --> 02:07:29,640
She asked you to hold the
cat for a while, right?
1521
02:07:30,440 --> 02:07:33,360
The kid who gave you the letter,
did he know you?
1522
02:07:34,160 --> 02:07:36,600
-No.
-Did you know him?
1523
02:07:37,520 --> 02:07:38,320
No.
1524
02:07:38,400 --> 02:07:41,840
Then how would he know
that the letter was for you?
1525
02:07:43,160 --> 02:07:49,520
Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat.
1526
02:07:51,480 --> 02:07:57,000
You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz.
1527
02:07:58,400 --> 02:08:00,520
Did you?
1528
02:08:01,240 --> 02:08:05,120
Because this man planted
a wrong number in your head
1529
02:08:05,520 --> 02:08:08,160
that Muslims betray.
1530
02:08:08,240 --> 02:08:10,520
Sarfaraz didn't betray you, Jaggu.
1531
02:08:10,600 --> 02:08:11,880
What's going on?
1532
02:08:12,360 --> 02:08:17,080
You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?
1533
02:08:17,200 --> 02:08:18,480
One minute.
1534
02:08:18,800 --> 02:08:22,640
We'll get to the truth right now.
Jaggu, call Sarfaraz.
1535
02:08:27,080 --> 02:08:28,680
This number does not exist.
1536
02:08:31,160 --> 02:08:32,200
Any other number?
1537
02:09:03,120 --> 02:09:05,480
-What about his home phone number?
-I don't know.
1538
02:09:08,880 --> 02:09:11,280
I work at the Pakistan Embassy.
1539
02:09:11,760 --> 02:09:13,880
He used to work at the Pakistan Embassy.
1540
02:09:17,840 --> 02:09:18,880
Put it on the speakers.
1541
02:09:22,680 --> 02:09:24,480
Greetings.
Pakistan Embassy.
1542
02:09:28,040 --> 02:09:31,240
A student from Lahore worked with you.
1543
02:09:31,360 --> 02:09:32,440
Sarfaraz Yousuf.
1544
02:09:32,560 --> 02:09:34,000
Is your name Jaggu?
1545
02:09:37,520 --> 02:09:39,920
Hello. Is your name Jaggu?
1546
02:09:40,320 --> 02:09:41,960
Yes. How do you know?
1547
02:09:42,240 --> 02:09:43,520
She called!
1548
02:09:43,640 --> 02:09:45,840
The girl from Delhi has called!
1549
02:09:45,960 --> 02:09:47,600
Farah, it's Jaggu calling!
1550
02:09:47,680 --> 02:09:51,360
Mr. Sayyed, hurry up.
It's Jaggu's call from India.
1551
02:09:51,440 --> 02:09:53,600
Come on, hurry up!
Everyone!
1552
02:09:56,520 --> 02:10:02,120
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us from Lahore,
every day at 9:00 a.m.
1553
02:10:02,880 --> 02:10:06,840
and with impeccable politeness,
asks just one question.
1554
02:10:07,120 --> 02:10:11,080
"Did Jaggu call from India?"
1555
02:10:11,960 --> 02:10:14,960
We say "no," and he disconnects.
1556
02:10:15,200 --> 02:10:17,000
He's driven us crazy.
1557
02:10:17,240 --> 02:10:19,520
Wait. Let me connect you.
1558
02:10:36,400 --> 02:10:39,520
-Mr. Sarfaraz Yousuf?
-Yes, speaking.
1559
02:10:39,880 --> 02:10:43,600
-Where are you?
-In Lahore. Why?
1560
02:10:43,960 --> 02:10:48,760
-Where are you right now?
-At home. Why?
1561
02:10:49,280 --> 02:10:52,880
Is there a chair or a bench nearby?
1562
02:10:53,200 --> 02:10:57,280
Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt.
1563
02:10:58,520 --> 02:11:00,440
Pardon me?
1564
02:11:01,920 --> 02:11:03,400
You have a call from Delhi.
1565
02:11:10,200 --> 02:11:12,040
Here, talk to her.
1566
02:11:15,800 --> 02:11:17,600
Sarfaraz.
1567
02:11:21,640 --> 02:11:23,240
Jaggu.
1568
02:11:27,720 --> 02:11:29,760
Hello, Jaggu, what's the matter?
1569
02:11:32,560 --> 02:11:34,720
Did you go to the
Marriage Registrar's office?
1570
02:11:34,840 --> 02:11:38,520
I did, but you had left.
1571
02:11:39,160 --> 02:11:41,120
Why didn't you call?
1572
02:11:41,400 --> 02:11:43,520
How could I?
I got your letter.
1573
02:11:43,960 --> 02:11:46,480
You had said, "don't contact me."
1574
02:11:47,320 --> 02:11:49,760
I knew you were under family pressure.
1575
02:11:49,840 --> 02:11:56,080
But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me.
1576
02:11:58,320 --> 02:12:00,560
What took you so long?
1577
02:12:02,320 --> 02:12:06,600
I am sorry.
I had your wrong number.
1578
02:12:13,680 --> 02:12:16,080
I just got the right
number from a friend.
1579
02:12:42,480 --> 02:12:43,800
Thank you, son.
1580
02:13:17,440 --> 02:13:19,200
Here, hold this.
1581
02:13:42,520 --> 02:13:45,440
Tipsy! You're taking batteries home?
1582
02:13:46,080 --> 02:13:50,400
-Don't get them there.
-But why do you need so many batteries?
1583
02:13:50,680 --> 02:13:54,440
Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded.
1584
02:13:54,760 --> 02:13:56,040
What sounds?
1585
02:13:56,320 --> 02:14:00,520
The sounds of earth.
Of the crows, the traffic, the honking.
1586
02:14:00,720 --> 02:14:03,000
Up there, you'll listen to cars honking?
1587
02:14:03,280 --> 02:14:07,640
Now and then...
whenever I miss this planet.
1588
02:14:10,080 --> 02:14:13,520
Hey, wait!
There's one more bag.
1589
02:14:13,600 --> 02:14:15,080
Forget it, Tipsy!
1590
02:14:15,160 --> 02:14:18,480
You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries.
1591
02:14:18,920 --> 02:14:20,600
Wait!
1592
02:14:24,160 --> 02:14:27,440
Driver, please stop!
1593
02:14:40,520 --> 02:14:44,120
Does everyone on your planet
have stick-out ears?
1594
02:14:45,320 --> 02:14:48,360
And everyone roams around naked?
1595
02:14:49,760 --> 02:14:52,200
Why are you staring?
Is there something on my face?
1596
02:14:56,600 --> 02:14:59,080
You know, I was in tenth grade...
1597
02:15:00,080 --> 02:15:01,760
when I wrote my first poem.
1598
02:15:03,360 --> 02:15:05,280
It was for Papa.
1599
02:15:06,200 --> 02:15:11,480
"They say my Mom I resemble.
I say, possible."
1600
02:15:18,480 --> 02:15:22,280
Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts.
1601
02:15:24,560 --> 02:15:26,560
Pal, you're really cute.
1602
02:15:28,200 --> 02:15:31,560
Here's to the teetotaler called Tipsy.
1603
02:15:32,400 --> 02:15:36,160
Granted, I am poor...
1604
02:15:37,120 --> 02:15:41,120
No tape had the sounds of
the crows or the traffic.
1605
02:15:41,760 --> 02:15:44,160
Every tape had just my voice.
1606
02:15:54,600 --> 02:15:55,600
MANDAWA.
1607
02:15:58,400 --> 02:16:00,080
Got it!
1608
02:16:04,920 --> 02:16:07,360
He sure made me run!
1609
02:16:10,480 --> 02:16:13,640
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?
1610
02:16:14,840 --> 02:16:17,240
I told you.
The crows, the traffic.
1611
02:16:29,000 --> 02:16:33,280
Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes.
1612
02:16:34,600 --> 02:16:39,639
And wave at you.
Like this.
1613
02:16:42,040 --> 02:16:45,440
Will you wave back,
now and then?
1614
02:16:47,600 --> 02:16:49,920
Haven't you recorded my voice?
1615
02:16:50,920 --> 02:16:53,320
Your voice?
1616
02:16:53,639 --> 02:16:57,680
I think I have.
That one poem you recited.
1617
02:16:58,760 --> 02:17:01,360
One poem? That's all?
1618
02:17:04,360 --> 02:17:06,799
I'm not exactly in love with you,
1619
02:17:07,040 --> 02:17:08,559
to waste all my time over you!
1620
02:17:28,120 --> 02:17:30,879
He didn't look back.
Not once.
1621
02:17:31,520 --> 02:17:33,280
Perhaps, he was hiding his tears.
1622
02:17:34,559 --> 02:17:38,320
One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us.
1623
02:17:39,680 --> 02:17:42,160
He learnt how to lie...
1624
02:17:42,480 --> 02:17:46,120
and taught us how to love.
1625
02:17:50,879 --> 02:17:56,040
He came here naked,
as children do.
1626
02:17:57,160 --> 02:18:02,719
Asked a lot of questions,
as children do.
1627
02:18:04,799 --> 02:18:07,799
And then one day...
1628
02:18:09,160 --> 02:18:10,879
he went away.
1629
02:18:12,879 --> 02:18:15,920
Four billion miles away.
1630
02:18:18,480 --> 02:18:21,160
He left me two parting gifts.
1631
02:18:24,240 --> 02:18:26,440
Sarfaraz...
1632
02:18:27,200 --> 02:18:28,520
and Papa.
1633
02:18:32,160 --> 02:18:33,559
Till the time I am alive,
1634
02:18:34,240 --> 02:18:38,559
I'll look at his planet every night
and wave.
1635
02:18:40,959 --> 02:18:44,280
I'm sure, he'll do the same.
1636
02:19:28,400 --> 02:19:32,520
Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth.
1637
02:19:32,639 --> 02:19:36,559
Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments.
1638
02:19:36,680 --> 02:19:39,559
One, do not roam around naked.
1639
02:19:39,639 --> 02:19:44,920
Cuddling, making love, etcetera,
must be done in closed rooms.
1640
02:19:45,120 --> 02:19:49,000
But fighting and making war
is allowed in the open.
1641
02:19:49,280 --> 02:19:52,880
Two, beware of the language,
it's confusing.
1642
02:19:52,960 --> 02:19:56,520
If Earthlings say,
"I love chicken and fish."
1643
02:19:56,600 --> 02:20:00,160
It doesn't mean that they love animals,
1644
02:20:00,240 --> 02:20:04,600
but that those animals are
on the lunch menu.
1645
02:20:04,840 --> 02:20:09,640
The gap between the thought and
the speech is our topic of research.
1646
02:20:10,000 --> 02:20:13,520
Three, on landing,
find dancing cars for clothes.
1647
02:20:13,600 --> 02:20:16,600
Hide your remotes deep in your underwear,
1648
02:20:16,760 --> 02:20:20,680
safe from thieves.
1649
02:20:20,760 --> 02:20:23,880
And four, the mother commandment.
1650
02:20:23,960 --> 02:20:28,120
If anyone says,
"I'll connect you to God."
1651
02:20:28,200 --> 02:20:32,440
Dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life.
1652
02:20:44,600 --> 02:20:47,000
Come, don't be afraid.
1653
02:20:52,280 --> 02:20:54,120
What are you goggling at?
1654
02:20:55,720 --> 02:20:58,240
-I have a question.
-What?
1655
02:20:59,240 --> 02:21:03,200
On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?
1656
02:21:11,360 --> 02:21:13,720
-What's this?
-Self-defense!
1657
02:21:14,560 --> 02:21:16,560
Oh, I see.
Safety gadgets?
1658
02:21:16,720 --> 02:21:19,880
-Let's go.
-Not there! This way.
1659
02:21:19,960 --> 02:21:21,200
Kaput!