1
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:18,625
感覺是不是很棒?
2
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,291
一年中最美好的時候
3
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:27,500
讓我告訴你我最喜歡的耶誕佳節故事
4
00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,750
那是耶誕節前夕
5
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,750
在全市各地
6
00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:37,083
復仇者聯盟在對抗一股全新的超級勢力
7
00:00:37,666 --> 00:00:40,166
煙囪上掛著耶誕襪...
8
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,750
再也沒有了
9
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:43,750
索爾呢?
10
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:55,250
對,你可能在想這個人是誰
11
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:57,875
或許我該開始話說從頭
12
00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:02,166
(漫威影業呈獻)
13
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,291
時間
14
00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:08,708
空間
15
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:11,458
現實
16
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:16,125
並不是線性關係
17
00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:25,500
而是個有無限可能的稜鏡
18
00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:31,541
單一個選擇就能衍生出無數現實
19
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:37,125
創造出全然不同的平行世界
20
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,375
我是觀察者
21
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,625
我會引導你穿越浩瀚的新現實
22
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:52,916
跟我來,推敲問題的無限可能...
23
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:56,375
《無限可能:假如...?》
24
00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:57,666
假如...?
25
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,625
好,我們再來一次
26
00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:12,000
那是事發前兩小時,大樓尚未起火
27
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:17,083
往左...不,太左邊了,停...
28
00:02:18,666 --> 00:02:20,958
麻雀一號呼叫海雀二號,聽到了嗎?
29
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:22,250
這裡發生紅色警戒
30
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:25,375
黛西,我說過老賈在進行磁碟重組時
31
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,166
這條線路僅供緊急使用
32
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,375
通話時請叫我麻雀一號,老闆
33
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,833
真的是紅色警戒狀況,外燴人員到了
34
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:35,041
我卻只看到起司塊和紅蘿蔔條
35
00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:37,375
表演節目呢?熱狗堡呢?
36
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:40,166
黛西,你想拿到學分嗎?聽我說
37
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,333
我不是第一次辦復仇者聯盟佳節晚會
38
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,625
好啦,瞭解,海雀二號
39
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,250
等等,為什麼我是海雀?如果我是二號
40
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,333
- 誰是一號?
- 會計部的伯納
41
00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:51,458
太傷人了
42
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:55,583
我能給你火雞一號、火鶴六號
還是長尾鸚鵡?
43
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:59,375
我有更棒的點子
指定一項特殊任務給你
44
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:01,333
酒漬櫻桃快沒了
45
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,416
東尼的熱托迪雞尾酒一定要加
46
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,083
我不知道熱托迪要加櫻桃
47
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:07,708
你肖想擺脫我
48
00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:10,250
我只是想清靜一下
49
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,750
你們造價五千萬,不能小心點嗎?
50
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,208
一切順利嗎?
51
00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:18,791
希爾局長,你打扮得很有節慶味道
52
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:21,583
既然老賈在關機維修中...
53
00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:24,708
我想跟你談一下,提供幾個訊息
54
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,291
關於升級我們的威脅矩陣...
55
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:28,875
也許你該交給專業維安人員處理
56
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,375
我就是專業維安人員
57
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:32,666
我要你專注在今晚的宴會上
58
00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:34,958
老鷹一號...指揮中心找你
59
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:36,958
- 馬上過去
- 老鷹一號?
60
00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,333
這場佳節晚會很重要,霍根先生
61
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:42,750
經過這一年,人們需要理由慶祝
62
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,958
我指望你把它辦好
63
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,000
是,長官
64
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:50,166
耶誕歌單
65
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:55,583
光明節歌單...
瑪麗亞凱莉耶誕歌曲循環重播,搞定
66
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:58,875
祝大家...
67
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,916
索傑,你擋到我了
68
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:10,000
或許這是賈斯汀漢默大鬧耶誕節的故事
69
00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:15,125
這個腐敗的國防承包商
差點炸毀史塔克博覽會後
70
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:18,416
他發覺自己上了危險人物名單
71
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:20,333
經過一番思考與反省
72
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,833
(機械科學季刊)
73
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,583
好好地...
74
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:24,916
(科學兄弟:他們想創造什麼?)
75
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,416
思索他的未來
76
00:04:26,416 --> 00:04:32,666
或許在這個宇宙
賈斯汀漢默的時間太多了點
77
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,375
我們死定了
78
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:41,166
拉斯提,麻煩拿來給我
79
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:42,458
他們怎麼進來的?
80
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:45,250
我叫拉斯登連尼瓦契斯拉夫
81
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,541
所以我們用拉斯提就好
82
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:48,583
(程式上傳中)
83
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,958
各位...聽好
84
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,833
保持冷靜,保持安靜
85
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:56,375
我保證你們能回家過節
86
00:04:57,208 --> 00:05:00,375
耶誕節不能哭
87
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,666
我七歲的時候
88
00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:05,750
我最想要的禮物就是BB槍
89
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:08,166
我求我爸媽,我求耶誕老人
90
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:11,125
舌頭不小心黏在電線桿上
91
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:13,541
那不是經典電影的劇情嗎?
92
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:15,166
對,有人腿檯燈那部
93
00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:19,083
閉嘴,但那年我沒得到BB槍
知道為什麼嗎?
94
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:20,791
(上傳完成)
95
00:05:20,791 --> 00:05:25,250
因為這是美國,想要什麼就自己想辦法
96
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:34,208
老賈停擺五分鐘,整棟大樓就亂七八糟
97
00:05:44,541 --> 00:05:45,541
老闆?
98
00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:49,166
放輕鬆,重設指令協定,設定新目標
99
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,291
(鋼鐵軍團,控制設定)
100
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,208
「鎖定現場人員」聽起來不錯
101
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,166
什麼?
102
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:54,083
(歡迎:賈斯汀漢默)
103
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,541
幹掉他們,霹靂五號
104
00:06:01,916 --> 00:06:04,500
黛西女王往下望
105
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:08,625
史帝夫羅傑斯的盛宴,當雪花...
106
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,625
老鷹一號
107
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,416
- 好,各位
- 漢默?
108
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:19,291
這些門後有照射過伽瑪射線的抗原血清
109
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,333
浩克之血
110
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,958
- 可說是羊水...
- 好噁
111
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:26,666
能誕生下一個超級英雄,我
112
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:28,791
我已經比10個東尼史塔克還聰明
113
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:32,250
很快就能比12個美國隊長更強壯
114
00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,583
我們開始吧
115
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:35,916
沒問題
116
00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:37,541
拜託,你想幹嘛?
117
00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:39,125
你說你能開保險箱
118
00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:41,041
對,現在來砸開保險箱
119
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,791
我就知道該找蘇科維亞團隊
120
00:06:45,791 --> 00:06:47,291
希爾,請回答
121
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:50,583
- 東尼的實驗室有三名敵人
- 本來以為他們會先突襲軍械庫
122
00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:52,625
東尼在用班納的血做實驗
123
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:55,583
看他能否成為沒有情緒問題的浩克
124
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,291
- 他成功了嗎?
- 那要一段過程
125
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,250
我走了
126
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,500
這下不妙,好...
127
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,000
拿到血清再通知我
128
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,916
我去坐東尼的寶座了
129
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,416
我不會沖水,如果你們懂我的意思
130
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,416
是漢默,他要去上東尼的廁所
131
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:16,291
- 霍根,你能拿到樣本嗎?
- 可以,我有辦法進去
132
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:18,208
很好,我來抓漢默
133
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:22,625
正中要害
134
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:29,291
東尼說辦場佳節派對一定很好玩
135
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:30,625
怎麼會出問題呢?
136
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:33,750
我說通風管會是維安漏洞
137
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,500
沒人聽快樂的話
138
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,291
看看這酒吧,我的天啊
139
00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:48,250
我超愛
140
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,625
手舉起來,漢默
141
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,250
乖乖投降
142
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,625
你擔心的日子終於來了
143
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,625
與東尼史塔克
144
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:03,208
最大對手正面對決的日子
145
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:06,375
最大對手?你是富人稅嗎?
146
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:09,125
沒用?
147
00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:10,625
你的技巧不對
148
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,583
背部多用力
149
00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:15,041
不是靠手臂,靠臀部
150
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,875
好,我懂了
151
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,541
好,來看一下
152
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,541
在哪呢?浩克之血...
153
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,250
浩克之血...
154
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:32,000
到底在哪...
155
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,833
想想看...小瓶子
156
00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,541
快樂,找到浩克之血...不
157
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,000
你聽到了嗎?
158
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:48,375
抓住了
159
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,833
- 停
- 你的笑話
160
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,333
無法對付跆拳道
161
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,250
- 柔術和泰拳大師
- 換頻道
162
00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:58,416
對
163
00:08:58,416 --> 00:09:01,208
- 我學過監獄打架技巧
- 天啊
164
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,041
都在監獄操場
165
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,291
也許是老鼠
166
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:08,000
知道我在牢裡學到
最重要的事是什麼嗎?
167
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,041
願聞其詳
168
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,375
贏家才會作弊
169
00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:15,541
不,瑪麗亞
170
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,666
化身為黑影...飄忽的黑影
171
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,416
你們看得見我吧?
172
00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:30,791
對,看得見
173
00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:33,166
老闆,逮到保全了
174
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:36,333
好聰明,你以為你能騙過漢默?
175
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,166
- 回來
- 浩克之血,我只要浩克之血
176
00:09:40,166 --> 00:09:41,833
你能跑去哪?
177
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,208
快啊,怎樣才能找到一管班納的血?
178
00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:46,125
浩克...
179
00:09:46,791 --> 00:09:48,000
五彩碎紙箭?
180
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,416
拜託,東尼,你預約鷹眼來生日趴?
181
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:54,000
浩克之血,找到了
182
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,166
好,我應該領危險津貼才對
183
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,333
不!怎麼會這樣?
184
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,583
讓開,小精靈
185
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:12,958
這下不妙
186
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:17,500
這下不妙
187
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:18,666
漢默
188
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,166
全力射擊他
189
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,291
- 那邊...快去
- 回來
190
00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:30,208
為咖啡因上癮的瘋狂科學家工作
就學到這個,看招
191
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:39,500
停...你們會毀掉浩克之血
192
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,833
有毛病啊?
193
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:43,875
真實用
194
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:47,083
別管我說的,去抓他,快
195
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,166
快樂,我的腿斷了
196
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,958
沒關係,我的腿夠我們兩個用
197
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:54,083
快樂?我都靠你了
198
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:57,041
是他嗎?我超級血清裡的蒼蠅嗎?
199
00:10:57,041 --> 00:10:58,833
阻止漢默,拯救大樓
200
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,208
瑪麗亞...
201
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:05,041
這下你倒楣了,小姐
202
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:08,875
把她銬起來,我受不了她一直從中作梗
203
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:14,625
好,現在都靠我了...
204
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:17,083
現在都靠我了
205
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:32,875
(團隊合作)
206
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,833
對,團隊中沒有自我
207
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:35,875
(娜塔莎羅曼諾夫)
208
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:37,416
什麼?不...
209
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:46,291
- 羅曼諾夫,快樂,我不方便講話
- 娜塔莎?
210
00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:50,458
一個殺過17人的前九頭蛇探員
正拿槍指著我
211
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:52,625
18人,你忘了奈及利亞
212
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:54,291
那是你?愛現
213
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:56,791
要我幫你找救兵嗎?
214
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,750
不用,我能應付,宴會上見
215
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,000
她不會有事
216
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,166
東尼,拜託快接
217
00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:07,625
你打來正好
請跟提米說美國隊長盾牌複製品
218
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:09,375
只是愛國飛盤
219
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:10,875
東尼,我有急事
220
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:13,458
這裡也有麻煩,地方媽媽圍住隊長
該走了
221
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,000
東尼...
222
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,250
好
223
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:20,291
快接電話,快接
224
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:23,375
什麼?等一下
225
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,833
克林特,該結束了,太陽快下山了
226
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,291
就像冬至那樣要下山了
227
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,208
班納...
228
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,041
- 抱歉,最後一個
- 班納
229
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:33,375
克林特,玩具給她
230
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:35,291
- 沒辦法
- 趕快給她
231
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,708
我老婆說沒搶到這玩具就別回家
232
00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:40,875
- 可惡,克林特...
- 給她啦
233
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,958
水啦
234
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:51,500
開始倒雪莉登波酒囉,大個子
我弄到櫻桃了
235
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,875
麻雀一號,這是海雀二號
236
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,708
聽到了嗎?紅色警戒
237
00:12:56,708 --> 00:12:58,708
大樓遭恐怖分子佔領
238
00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:01,125
耶誕節有恐怖分子?
是在演《空中監獄》嗎?
239
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:05,000
不對,《魔鬼戰將》?不對...我知道
240
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,625
我在搜尋腦袋中的片庫
241
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,125
終極警探,專心點
242
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,458
每件武器和盔甲都在漢默手中
243
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,791
你打給我幹嘛?
244
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,500
叫老賈通知軍隊或復仇者聯盟
245
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,291
或是那個戴眼罩的可怕傢伙
246
00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:20,458
老賈離線重組,他們就是那樣...
247
00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,083
黛西,你真是天才
248
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:25,750
謝了,我上大學超過五年
249
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:27,375
不是我吹牛,我剛說什麼?
250
00:13:27,375 --> 00:13:29,500
老賈有一台主機在地下二樓
251
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,708
如果讓老賈恢復上線,就能控制大樓
252
00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:33,875
以及裡面的一切
253
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:37,250
海雀二號
你在請我當你的條子幫手嗎?
254
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,041
條子幫手?這是你對那部片的印象?
255
00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:41,041
靠
256
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,416
你們看得見我吧?
257
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,375
好...
258
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:01,666
好
259
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,875
我看出去唯一的辦法就是出去
260
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:16,708
哇哩...
261
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:53,916
看到沒?我全身流著浩克之血
262
00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:56,166
也許來試試有多猛
263
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,625
等等,你聽到沒?
264
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:01,958
快走...
265
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,583
一拳打斷鐵鍊
266
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,583
易怒個性呢?不能發脾氣
267
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,375
冷靜,深呼吸
268
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,791
應該有幫助吧?
269
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:15,250
重複,海雀二號,都還好吧?
270
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:17,958
你聽來有點像達斯維達
271
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,125
等我一下,我正在忙
272
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:23,083
整棟大樓竟然靠這個小盒子運作
273
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:25,750
下次應該去維基解密實習
274
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,666
因為我完全能掌控駭...不會吧
275
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,208
秘密房間
276
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,458
你以為門控開關是主機喔?
277
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:41,500
誰都會這樣
對阿宅來說這就像《納尼亞傳奇》
278
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,458
地下二樓應該有備用的老賈人工智慧
279
00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:47,666
老闆,他有內應,在地下二樓
280
00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:50,416
我有更好的點子,回閣樓去
281
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,708
讓他們來找漢默更好
282
00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:56,416
好,老闆,這裡有星期五
283
00:15:56,416 --> 00:16:00,208
華德沃斯、伊迪絲1.0
聽來好像推理影集
284
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,666
黛西,快挑一個
285
00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:02,708
太棒了
286
00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:03,666
那就溫納
287
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,458
黛西,聽到了嗎?
288
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:12,416
好吧,麻雀一號請回答
這是海雀二號,聽到沒?
289
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,541
通了嗎?
290
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:19,500
英雄與壞蛋唯一的差別是公關形象
291
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,625
在這個國家,贖罪不在於悔過
292
00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:24,375
而是重新塑造形象
293
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:27,250
浩克之血就是我的機會
294
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:30,833
你卻把它偷走,快樂霍根,但放心
295
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:34,791
等我解剖你抽搐的屍體
我再進行逆向設計
296
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,291
別讓他嚇唬你,快樂
297
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:39,375
沒錯,霍根,我逮到你的助手小妹
298
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,041
但耶誕節我只要你
299
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,541
這節日數來寶不賴呢
300
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:46,875
謝了,五分鐘後到閣樓
301
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,791
否則實習生就得吃耶誕老人的子彈
302
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000
可是我這麼可愛
303
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,708
快樂,幫個忙,別逞英雄
304
00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:57,375
啟動電梯,我上來
305
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:02,083
好,看看這是什麼
306
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:06,041
這重量,沒聲音,我猜勞力士手錶?
307
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:11,041
老天,億萬富豪收到美國隊長襪子
308
00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:14,708
媒體騙人,這兩人果然不合
309
00:17:14,708 --> 00:17:17,083
高級襪子是很棒的禮物
310
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:18,166
(電梯門開啟)
311
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,708
快樂,來借糖嗎?
312
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,083
轟了他
313
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,083
快樂,不!
314
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,375
來點無花果布丁
315
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,958
(讓它下雪吧!)
316
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,041
讓它下雪?
317
00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,166
我的媽呀
318
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,000
什麼聲音?
319
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:43,083
地震?有地震嗎?
320
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:52,875
我想那是快樂霍根
321
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:02,000
喂,大怪獸抓狂了
322
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,291
我付錢請你們是幹什麼的?
323
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,416
這個免談
324
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,416
快啊,瑜珈室,KTV包廂,真假?
325
00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:11,333
復仇者聯盟軍械庫,就是它
326
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,125
你的脖子比索爾還粗
327
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:24,291
很厲害吧?精彩的還沒開始呢
328
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:26,916
聽好,如果能重啟老賈...
329
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,958
搞定了,麻雀一號
330
00:18:28,958 --> 00:18:31,500
你說你依靠我,那意義重大
331
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,875
漢默去軍械庫了
332
00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:35,916
我來對付他,你們去重啟老賈
333
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:39,416
該教訓一下漢默了
334
00:18:39,791 --> 00:18:42,291
漢默...
335
00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:36,166
你輸了,漢默,不會有耶誕奇蹟了
336
00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:39,208
說得跟真的一樣,浩克霍根
337
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:45,125
天啊,是耶誕老人
338
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:46,458
他是真的
339
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,666
我是耶誕老人,寶貝
340
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,666
漢默控制了浩克毀滅者
341
00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:05,791
我們得馬上掌控那套盔甲,上傳老賈
342
00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:07,750
不是老賈,是德國人
343
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,083
這是史上最爛的實習工作
344
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,791
快樂,別這樣
345
00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:20,958
速戰速決,我只需要一點血清
346
00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:22,250
我給你顏色瞧瞧
347
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:34,708
史塔克付的錢不值得你對抗漢默
348
00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:40,833
喂,你們在幹嘛?
349
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,500
沒有啊
350
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,625
讚,史上最棒老闆
351
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:50,750
黛西,真的嗎?
352
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,500
從老闆多到爆的人口中說出來
意義非凡
353
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,083
(錯誤)
354
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,500
沒反應,我們被擋住
355
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,250
爛電腦,快強制結束
356
00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:05,583
(開始重啟?)
357
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:07,083
竟然有用
358
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:11,291
我在卡爾佛大學資訊系實習學的撇步
359
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:14,000
- 你做過正職工作嗎?
- 沒有
360
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,541
(下載溫納)
361
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:25,166
(溫納)
362
00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:26,333
你好
363
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:29,791
好,可以了
解除薇若妮卡浩克毀滅者協定
364
00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:35,125
起初人類控制機器
如今機器控制人類的命運
365
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,125
好啦,你會呼叫復仇者聯盟嗎?
366
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:42,666
就像德文說的,不會
367
00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:47,666
這是什麼鬼程式?
虛無主義者的語音助理嗎?
368
00:21:47,666 --> 00:21:48,791
像我爸的口氣
369
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:50,666
快樂,你只能靠自己了
370
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:59,791
看我的泰拳、柔術、跆拳道
371
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:06,958
要知道認輸,怪咖
372
00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:08,916
什麼?
373
00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:27,458
王八臭雞蛋,那怪物想砸爛我的盔甲
374
00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:38,208
布魯斯,幫個忙
375
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:40,000
不用,你們可以的
376
00:22:44,875 --> 00:22:45,708
索爾呢?
377
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:48,083
那是快樂嗎?
378
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:49,000
不是
379
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,125
這是什麼東西?
380
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,375
不...他在賓客名單上
381
00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,041
重複,他在賓客名單上
382
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,125
娜塔莎,是我
383
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:06,458
天啊,快樂?
384
00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:07,625
我說對了
385
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:12,000
這是好人,那才是壞蛋
386
00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:15,416
你幹嘛穿我的盔甲?
387
00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:17,291
沒幹嘛
388
00:23:40,041 --> 00:23:42,166
你救我,為什麼?
389
00:23:42,166 --> 00:23:44,875
現在是耶誕節,漢默,心存善念
390
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,625
對壞蛋也一樣
391
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:55,416
我對宴會很抱歉,東尼
相信保險會理賠大部分損失
392
00:23:55,416 --> 00:23:58,500
開什麼玩笑?你是我唯一需要的保單
393
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:01,041
謝了,東尼,你應該有解藥吧?
394
00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:02,375
我不會永遠這樣吧?
395
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:07,166
各位,我的維安主任,他很了不起吧?
396
00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:08,666
- 對,快樂
- 幹得好,快樂
397
00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:10,416
- 太厲害了
- 沒搞頭了
398
00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:13,583
至於這個佳節故事的後續
399
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:18,583
大樓安全無恙,依然妝點著耶誕裝飾
400
00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:21,666
此時東尼史塔克向團隊宣布一件事
401
00:24:21,666 --> 00:24:25,291
這時該來點吃的,大家同意吧
402
00:24:25,291 --> 00:24:29,333
我胃口大開
剛剛打完之後能吃一個水果蛋糕
403
00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:33,208
但眾英雄離開後,我聽到一個聲音說
404
00:24:33,208 --> 00:24:36,000
「大家耶誕快樂...」
405
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:37,708
人呢?
406
00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,666
我錯過派對了
407
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,166
「祝大家晚安」
408
00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:51,583
我們祝你聖誕快樂
409
00:24:51,583 --> 00:24:58,000
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年快樂
410
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,000
我們祝你聖誕快樂
411
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,333
我們祝你聖誕快樂
412
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:10,875
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年快樂
413
00:25:10,875 --> 00:25:17,083
我們帶來佳音,送給你與你的親友
414
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:23,208
聖誕佳音,新年快樂
415
00:25:23,208 --> 00:25:25,416
我們祝你聖誕活躍
416
00:25:25,416 --> 00:25:27,500
(根據漫威漫畫改編)
417
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,791
我們祝你聖誕瘋狂
418
00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:35,666
我們祝你聖誕快樂與新年歡樂
419
00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,458
耶
420
00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:29,916
好
421
00:26:29,916 --> 00:26:32,625
黛西女王往下望
422
00:26:32,625 --> 00:26:35,125
史帝夫羅傑斯的盛宴
423
00:26:35,125 --> 00:26:37,666
當雪花緩緩飄落地
424
00:26:37,666 --> 00:26:40,208
啦...
425
00:26:40,208 --> 00:26:45,041
索爾脖子粗,全都是肌肉
426
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:51,291
他只是個小呆瓜,飛越宇宙
427
00:26:53,916 --> 00:26:55,916
佳節愉快!為錢亂編歌曲
428
00:26:55,916 --> 00:26:57,000
- 字幕翻譯:
- Aaron Wu